Campanastan

The Inherent Athletic Superiority of Campanastan's Young Women

Aquadoc — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:50:00 -0800

This video amply demonstrates the inherent superiority of Campanastan's young women.

"If cheerleading got any easier, it would be called football. " ~ Unknown

The Quirky, Macabre Humor of British Columbians

Aquadoc — Mon, 09 Nov 2009 00:19:00 -0800

My colleague Ari Michelsen sent me this. It's a sign in an actual campground in British Columbia. Make sure you read the entire text (click on the picture to enlarge it).

Who would have imagined that this could have sprung from our frostback friends in the Great White North?

"It's going to be a great country when they finish unpacking it." -- Andrew H. Malcolm, referring to Canada

The 11/3 Project: Fight the Conspiracy Involving Glenn Beck's Internal Organs!

Aquadoc — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 00:07:00 -0800

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

The 11/3 Project

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Health Care Crisis

"You know who else didn't answer medical questions? Hitler." -- Jon Stewart

Campanastan Hails the Champs!

Aquadoc — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 18:14:15 -0800

Campanastan's Ministry of Sports is breathing easier, now that the President-for-Life's favorite team, the New York Yankees, have won their 27th World Series.

Read this article about where the 2009 team ranks.

Pictured are Andy Pettitte, Jorge Posada, Derek Jeter, and Mariano Rivera. This quartet has won five championships together.

After Game 6, a reporter mentioned the team’s unabashed spending to Cashman and said, “There are fans of other teams who go, ‘Well, they’re the only team that can do that,of course they won.’ How do you respond to that?”

The question was tough but fair, and Cashman gave a perfectly pinstriped response. “You can call us anything you want,” he said. “You also have to call us world champions.”

“Hating the New York Yankees is as American as pizza pie, unwed mothers, and cheating on your income tax." -- Mike Royko

Fistula Repair: New Life for 21st Century Lepers

Aquadoc — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:15:00 -0800

New York Times columnist Nick Kristof's recent column deals with the 3 or 4 million iwomen n the world who suffer from obstetric fistulas. This is an injury sustained during childbirth, often in women whose pelvises are not fully grown. It leaves the women incontinent pariahs rejected by their husbands and communities.

This is a childbirth injury, often suffered by a teenager in Africa or Asia whose pelvis is not fully grown. She suffers obstructed labor, has no access to a C-section, and endures internal injuries that leave her incontinent — steadily trickling urine and sometimes feces through her vagina.

She stinks. She becomes a pariah. She is typically abandoned by her husband and forced to live by herself on the edge of her village. She is scorned, bewildered, humiliated and desolate, often feeling cursed by God.

Kristof then tells the story of USA physician Dr. Lewis Wall of Washington University in St. Louis, who has devoted his life to helping these women with life-transforming surgery. He founded the Worldwide Fistula Fund in 1995.

Dr. Wall is proposing to build a fistula hospital in Niger and is in the process of raising funds. It will be based on a similar successful fistula hospital in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.

Want to help? Sure you do! Visit Kristof's blog or the aforementioned WWFF website.

Wall is also proposing a 12-year, $1.5B aid plan to be part of the USA's foreign aid operation. It would build 40 such fistula repair hospitals throughout the world.

I'd say this is something worth funding.

“In Liberia, I saw a woman who had developed a fistula 35 years earlier. It turned out to be a tiny injury; it took 20 minutes to repair it. For want of a 20-minute operation, this woman had lived in a pool of urine for 35 years.” -- Dr. Lewis Wall

Mathematics...Makes Sense To Me!

Aquadoc — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 00:34:00 -0800

I seem to remember a couple of courses like this. I suspect a few of my former students are saying the same thing.

There was a young man from Trinity,
Who solved the square root of infinity.
While counting the digits,
He was seized by the fidgets,
Dropped science, and took up divinity.
--Unknown

Lovable Losers Forever

Aquadoc — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 00:29:00 -0700

Scott Simon, unrepentant Cubs fan, interviewed Tom Ricketts, one of the new owners of the Chicago Cubs, on NPR's Weekend Edition Saturday yesterday.

Ricketts, who sounds like a nice guy, bought the Cubbies with his siblings Pete, Laura, and Todd. They paid somethig like $900M for the team. I wish them all luck.

Unless you've been living in a cave somewhere, you're probably aware that the Cubs have not won a World Series for over 100 years. They've been one of the most inept baseball teams of all time.

But the fans keep coming back. They seem to revel in losing and the misery it brings. With fans like that, owners don't have to do much. The fans have low expectations, and the owners know they aren't going anywhere, such as to root for the hated White Sox (who won a World Series a few years ago). So they don't really endeavor to field a team worthy of the great city of Chicago and its faithful Cubs fans. Why should they?

Maybe the Ricketts family is different. But I doubt it.

Wait'll next year!

"Chicago Cubs fans are ninety percent scar tissue.” -- George F. Will

The Utter Depravity of Western Culture: Halloween Costumes

Aquadoc — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 00:05:00 -0700

Minister of Humor Marty Ennis provided these decadent Halloween costumes to demonstrate the utter depravity of Western culture. Such dress would never be tolerated in Campanastan!

And while you're trick-or-treating, have some cake!

Oh yeah - happy birthday, Nevada!

"From ghoulies and ghosties and long leggity beasties and things that go bump in the night, Good Lord, deliver us!" -- Scottish proverb

Supreme Court: No Nativity Scene in DC This Year

Aquadoc — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 00:20:00 -0700

This late-breaking news from Minster of Humor Marty Ennis:

There will be no Nativity Scene in Washington this year. The Supreme Court has ruled there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the US Capital this Christmas season. This isn't for any religious reason; they simply have been unable to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capital. The search for a Virgin continues. There was no problem finding enough asses, cows, and pigs to fill the stable.

The culture wars continue!

"When the year started, 'teabagging' was a phrase that referred to dangling one's testicles in someone else's face. And they managed to turn it into something gross and ridiculous." -- Bill Maher

A Visit to Snake Valley, Eastern Nevada

Aquadoc — Wed, 28 Oct 2009 09:21:01 -0700

Former student and longtime friend Michael Dale, along with lovely spouse Malynn and Roffie, el perro gigante (130 pounds!) sent me these exclusive photos from Snake Valley, the basin that straddles the NV-UT border and is the object of Las Vegas' hydraulic affections - a plan to pump groundwater from this valley and pipe it to Las Vegas is in the works.

Michael and Malynn went to Baker, NV, in Snake Valley, at the right-hand end of the purple line (U.S. Route 50) in the accompanying map. They visited Great Basin National Park, Nevada's only NP. Here is a map of the GBNP.

Michael and Malynn took these pictures knowing full well that I would want to post them so I have received their permission to do so.

Michael noted that Sen. Harry Reid (D-NV) is not real popular in rural Nevada, and today's quote reflects a sign seen a number of times along U.S. Route 50, the so-called Loneliest Road in America (unless, of course, you're stuck on it during a NoVa traffic jam in Arlington or Fairfax Counties, VA).

Shown above is Wheeler Peak, just a shade over 13,000 feet. Michael, a native Virginian, tells me it was originallyJeff Davis Peak but was renamed Union Peak when Nevada joined the Union in the Civil War. The name was eventually changed to the present moniker after the Army surveyor, and Jeff Davis Peak was bestowed upon the third highest peak in the park.

Now for some pictures of pipes found around Baker and Snake Valley. I don't think captions are necessary.

The Southern Nevada Water Authority (SNWA) and its boss, Pat Mulroy, are not well-liked here. Duhhhh...

No, Roffie! Don't soil Pat's pipe!

Michael noted that there is much concern about Snake Valley becoming another Owens Lake, with the SNWA pumping desiccating the valley, producing huge dust storms.

A colleague of mine, who has no axe to grind, thinks that is unlikely since the playa lake in Snake Valley is not a discharging (wet, fed by groundwater) playa but a dry playa. So he is skeptical of claims that pumping will produce an Owens Valley scenario.

But let's figure this out before going ahead with the pipeline.

Interestingly enough, Michael noted the effects of agricultural diversions on Sevier Dry Lake in western Utah, which is a source of dust that periodically sweeps towards the Wasatch Front. They saw such a cloud rising from the desert floor. You don't hear much about this.

Harry's pipe.

Roffie was a good doggie and didn't mess up the pipe. I suspect the locals would not have minded if he had.

Finally this gorgeous shot looking east across Snake Valley with Utah and the Confusion Range in the background.

This is spectacular country! I've been away from it too long. Thanks, Michael and Malynn - and Roffie.

"Anybody Butt Harry Reid." -- typical political sign on Highway 50 in eastern Nevada

Most of the Stuff You Get for Halloween is Crap Anyway, Right?

Aquadoc — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:50:00 -0700

A costume to match the stuff you'll collect! Only $64.99 at costumecraze.com.

Thanks to Gayle Leonard at Thirsty in Suburbia.

Campanastan Honors the New York Yankees

Aquadoc — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 09:26:40 -0700

Campanastan's Minister of Sports has saved his job by ensuring that the New York Yankees will be going to the World Series!

But he still needs to ensure that the Yankees win the World Series to avoid a long, long stay in one of Campanastan's mountain 'resorts'.

Today is a national holiday! Free steroids and A-Roid T-shirts will be distributed to all youth athletes!

"Why do people sing 'Take Me Out to The Ballgame' when they're already there?" -- Alex Rodriguez

And While We're On the Topic of American Exceptionalism...

Aquadoc — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 12:50:31 -0700

From cartoonist R. J. Matson.

Give Andrew Bacevich's The Limits of Power: The End of American Exceptionalism a read.

"When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Just roll to your rifle an' blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier."
--Rudyard Kipling

There's Pie in the Sky: Soupy Sales Dies

Aquadoc — Fri, 23 Oct 2009 07:47:14 -0700

Soupy Sales, the guy who got my classmates and me to rush home from Chaminade High School in the 1960s and plunk ourselves down in front of the TV at 4 PM to witness trademark pies-in-the-face, cheesy props, inane sketches with Pookie, Black Tooth, and White Fang, corny jokes, and pie fights with the likes of Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Trini Lopez, Sammy Davis, Jr., and all the rest, has finally joined the big pie fight in the sky. He died yesterday of cancer in New York City at age 83.

Soupy Sales, born Milton Supman in North Carolina, was a legendary TV kiddie show host in Detroit, Los Angeles, and New York City. By the time he got to NYC, the 'kiddie show' moniker was a stretch, as the show often contained double entendres and off-color comments. Of course, that's why we Catholic HS boys loved the show!

Here is a clip from one of his shows. It concludes with his dance, 'The Mouse'.

He also had another famous dance, "The Soupy Shuffle". Who needed The Twist?

Here is a video clip featuring talented sidekick Frank Nastasi.

Read a tribute I paid to him on the occasion of his 82nd birthday.

I can imagine the surprise St. Peter had for him at the Pearly Gates. Or perhaps it was the other way around.

R.I.P., Soupster!

Questioner: Use the word 'miniature' in a sentence.
Soupy: Do you fall asleep the miniature in bed?

I Get H1N1 and My Cat Shows His Concern

Aquadoc — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 00:50:00 -0700

I got the flu and my cat shows his concern. Can you feed me?

"Cats would eat us if they could." -- Mary Frances Campana

Through the Looking Glass: Swiss Public Toilets

Aquadoc — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 04:57:35 -0700

Campanastan's Minister of Humor Marty Ennis continues her research into (in?) European restrooms. This time she visits Switzerland and finds that the Swiss have a perverse sense of humor when it comes to public toilets.

Here is the outside of a Swiss public toilet:

Here is what it looks like from the inside:
:

“You do live longer with bran, but you spend the last fifteen years on the toilet." -- Alan King

Why There Are Fake Flies in Schiphol's Urinals

Aquadoc — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 09:08:17 -0700

This is from Marty Ennis, who's beginning a study of men's rooms in world airports. Today she covers Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport, one of my favorites, and answers one of the great questions of our time.

"Aim carefully; it's shorter than you think." -- sign over a urinal in a men's room

In China, Good Samaritans Need Not Apply

Aquadoc — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 06:04:08 -0700

This story is from the 11 October 2009 weekly issue of The Christian Science Monitor. It's a sad commentary.

If you have Good Samaritan tendencies, you might want to steer clear of China. Shanghai resident Zhang Jun can vouch for that.

On his way to work, while stopped at a red light, Zhang was approached by a man him who begged him for a ride home. He said he had a stomach ache and could not find a cab. Zhang told him to hop in. The passenger offered him the equivalent of USD $1.30 for his troubles, but Zhang refused. When the man asked him to stop, Zhang did. The man immediately grabbed the car keys, and then seven or eight uniformed men descended upon the vehicle and dragged Zhang from his car.

The passenger and the men were from the municipal traffic department. They roughed Zhang up, accused him of driving an unregistered taxi, and told him it would cost him USD $1,300 to get his car back.

Later, when Zhang called the department to complain about this blatant entrapment, the official wanted to know what business was it of his if someone had a stomach ache.

No indication of whether he got his car back, but this episode has garnered worldwide attention after Zhang blogged about it.

"I should not have shown any sympathy for others. At over 30 years old, I should not be so naive as to give a ride to a stranger. A piffling little citizen like me should not aspire to act like Comrade Lei Feng." -- Zhang Jun [Lei Feng was a Chinese soldier lauded for his good works, and his spirit is honored each 5 March.]

English Language Laughs

Aquadoc — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 00:50:00 -0700

Once again, The Washington Post conducted its yearly contest in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for various words.

And the winners are...

1. Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly
answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.), an olive-flavored mouthwash

9. Flatulence (n.) the emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are
run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.

13. Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.

14. Pokemon (n), A Jamaican proctologist.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.), the belief that; when you die your Soul goes
up on the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.

Thanks to Marty Ennis for sending these my way.

"Not only does the English language borrow words from other languages, it sometimes chases them down dark alleys, hits them over the head, and goes through their pockets." — Eddy Peters

Punctuation is Everything

Aquadoc — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 00:35:00 -0700

An English professor wrote this sentence on the chalkboard:

"A woman without her man is nothing."

He asked his class to punctuate it.

All the men wrote:

"A woman, without her man, is nothing."

All the women wrote:

"A woman: without her, man is nothing."

(Thanks to Afaf Rachel)

Why I Don't Work in Honduras During the Rainy Season

Aquadoc — Wed, 07 Oct 2009 08:19:41 -0700

My amigo Rolando López took this recent picture in the Sierra de Omoa near the Honduran village of Monte Vista. Need I say more?

Rumor has it that the ex-President Manuel 'Mel' Zelaya was hiding under a tarp in the truck's bed.

"Choose the stone by the size of the frog." -- Honduran proverb

Stewart vs. Hannity on 'Fish vs. Farmers' and Other Delights

Aquadoc — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 11:52:18 -0700

The folks over at Fox News - Sean Hannity in particular - have gotten a lot of mileage out of the 'fish vs. farmers' kerfuffle in California's San Joaquin Valley. Comedian Paul Rodriguez has also weighed in on the issue, supporting Latino farmers and their group, the Latino Water Coalition, which is not so much a 'grassroots' organizaton as it is a front for agricultural lobbyists.

Here is Alex Leo's take.

The other night Jon Stewart took Hannity to task, schooling him on some history, the food chain, and a few other items.

Check out the video clip.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c

Where the Riled Things Are

www.thedailyshow.com

Daily Show
Full Episodes

Political Humor

Ron Paul Interview

"The government should stop meddling in the business of the farmers, who would actually still be living in a desert if not for government meddling." -- Jon Stewart

Happy Water New Year!

Aquadoc — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 11:18:22 -0700

It's the start of a new water year!

Drink a toast of cool, clean tap water to the new year!

Thanks to Michael Furniss for the photo and the reminder.

"Civilization exists by hydrological consent, subject to change without notice." -- apologies to Will Durant

The New McCarthyism: Fear of Science and the War on Rationality

Aquadoc — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 00:15:00 -0700

As more and more of the world looks to knowledge, education, and science as the routes out of poverty and conflict, parts of America seems to be slipping back toward the Dark Ages, when fear of knowledge and science led to an impoverishment of civilization that had lasting effects for centuries.

I've recently returned from two weeks in northern Europe and a series of scientific water meetings and discussions with people from over 130 countries. They read the news from the United States with incredulity. America is still seen as the place to come for aspiring students and scientists around the world. Our public universities, despite assaults on budgets, independence, and knowledge, still struggle to maintain their excellence. But my friends and colleagues from overseas are increasingly shocked, as are many of us in the U.S., by the expanding efforts of home-grown extremists to undermine rational discourse, eliminate the use of fact and science in policymaking, and shut down public debate over the vital issues of our times through hate, vitriol, and ad hominem attacks.

Looking through the eyes of my overseas colleagues, what do we see?

We see a debate over providing health care to every American that is based -- not on facts or civilized discourse -- but on screaming mobs shutting down public discussions and the use of straw man arguments to promote fear among the public and policymakers. Yet every major country of Europe provides basic health care for its population.

We see President Obama appoint one of the nation's best scientists in the areas of energy, environment, and national security -- Dr. John Holdren -- to be his Science Advisor, and then have right-wing mouthpieces like Glenn Beck spread ad hominem lies about him because of their fear that facts and actual science may once again inform Presidential action. This should be a recognizable tactic to us -- lying about a person to diminish their effectiveness. In fact, these extremists want to undermine the forward-looking policies that would prevent the very draconian measures they say they deplore.

We see unambiguous evidence that climate change is already affecting human health and the global economy -- evidence often collected by world-leading American scientists and scientific institutions -- while public opinion polls show that the American people continue to be misled about the risks facing us by conservative pundits who ignore, misunderstand, or intentionally misuse that science to mislead the public into fear of change. Yet we already see huge economic and environmental opportunities in adapting to the reality of climate change.

Fear is an effective tool -- as hate groups and extremists know. It is no accident that repressive regimes of all kinds -- fascists, the Nazis, Stalin, religious states, madrasses -- use tools of hatred, anti-intellectualism, and fear to control knowledge, universities, and intellectuals. Fear grows best when sown in fields of ignorance, while science, rationality, and education are the greatest weapons modern societies have against irrational fear. No wonder Beck and his ilk have intellectuals in their sights; so do the leaders of Iran, and Burma, and the Taliban, and North Korea, for similar reasons.

What does this have to do with water -- the ostensible focus of my blog? Nothing and everything. I try to focus on numbers here and what they mean for international and local water issues. Yet water policy, or any policy, must also be based on rationality,facts, and civil discourse. Similarly, solving any bad water contamination problem requires one of two approaches: don't let the contamination into our water supply in the first place, or apply the right filters to clean it up when it does. The same rule applies to those who would pollute our public discourse with hate and noise: don't let their vitriol into our media supply or filter it out before it can poison our democracy.

New McCarthyism: Fear of science and the war on rationality

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/blogs/gleick/index#ixzz0SdcnE5RG

Dr. Peter Gleick, president and co-founder of the Pacific Institute, wrote this blog post last

month. It's worth repeating.

Looking through the eyes of my overseas colleagues, what do we see?

We see President Obama appoint one of the nation's best scientists in the areas of energy, environment, and national security -- Dr. John Holdren -- to be his Science Advisor, and then have right-wing mouthpieces like Glenn Beck spread ad hominem lies about him because of their fear that facts and actual science may once again inform Presidential action. This should be a recognizable tactic to us -- lying about a person to diminish their effectiveness. In fact, these extremists want to undermine the forward-looking policies that would prevent the very draconian measures they say they deplore.

"Never underestimate the power of very stupid people in large groups." -- John Kenneth Galbraith

Celebrate Banned Books Week!

Aquadoc — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 00:18:00 -0700

I almost missed this event! Fortunately, Mary Frances reminded me the other day.

From the American Library Association's WWW site:

Banned Books Week (BBW) [26 September - 3 October] is an annual event celebrating the freedom to read and the

importance of the First Amendment. Held during the last week of September, Banned Books Week highlights the benefits of free and open access to information while drawing attention to the harms of censorship by spotlighting actual or attempted bannings of books across the United States.

Intellectual freedom—the freedom to access information and express ideas, even if the information and ideas might be considered unorthodox or unpopular—provides the foundation for Banned Books Week. BBW stresses the importance of ensuring the availability of unorthodox or unpopular viewpoints for all who wish to read and access them.

The books featured during Banned Books Week have been targets of attempted bannings. Fortunately, while some books were banned or restricted, in a majority of cases the books were not banned, all thanks to the efforts of librarians, teachers, booksellers, and members of the community to retain the books in the library collections. Imagine how many more books might be challenged—and possibly banned or restricted—if librarians, teachers, and booksellers across the country did not use Banned Books Week each year to teach the importance of our First Amendment rights and the power of literature, and to draw attention to the danger that exists when restraints are imposed on the availability of information in a free society.

Banned Books Week is sponsored by the American Booksellers Association; American Booksellers Foundation for Free Expression; the American Library Association;American Society of Journalists and Authors; Association of American Publishers; and the National Association of College Stores. It is endorsed by the Center for the Book in the Library of Congress.

For more information on getting involved with Banned Books Week: Celebrating the Freedom to Read, please see Calendar of Events and Ideas and Resources. You can also contact the ALA Office for Intellectual Freedom at 1-800-545-2433, ext. 4220, or bbw@ala.org

While you're at it, give your librarian a hug. For me, I get to hug Mary Frances!

And celebrate the First Amendment and its guarantee of freedom of RAPPS!

Rescuing Our Public Universities

Aquadoc — Tue, 29 Sep 2009 00:45:00 -0700

Rescuing Our Public Universities

By Robert J. Birgeneau and Frank D. Yeary
Sunday, September 27, 2009 The Washington Post

Almost 150 years ago, in an effort to better serve a growing nation, President Abraham Lincoln signed the Morrill Land Grant Act, which gave struggling states federal land with which they could generate revenue to build colleges. The result of that bold action is a national resource: a structure for higher education that is admired, and copied, around the globe in places such as Japan, Germany and Canada. We are the only country to have both private and public universities of world renown. Sadly, this amalgam of great public and private research and teaching universities is at risk as economically struggling states progressively disinvest in public higher education.

Our private and public research and teaching universities have contributed greatly to American prosperity. Public universities by definition teach large numbers of students and substantially help shape our nation. The top 10 publics have more than 350,000 undergraduate students. By comparison, the eight Ivies educate less than a sixth of that number. Public universities with strong state support have an admirable cross-section of ethnically and economically diverse students. In essence, their student bodies look like America. They are the conduits into mainstream society for a huge number of highly talented people from financially disadvantaged backgrounds, as well as the key to the American dream of an increasingly better life for the middle class.

Yet over several decades there has been a material and progressive disinvestment by states in higher education. The economic crisis has made this a countrywide phenomenon, with devastating cuts in some states, including California. Historically acclaimed public institutions are struggling to remain true to their mission as tuitions rise and in-state students from middle- and low-income families are displaced by out-of-state students from higher socioeconomic brackets who pay steeper fees. While America is fortunate to have many great private universities, we do not need to add to the list by privatizing Berkeley, Illinois, Rutgers, etc. On the contrary, we need to keep our public research and teaching universities excellent and accessible to the vast majority of Americans.

Given the precarious condition of state finances, we propose that President Obama emulate President Lincoln by creating a 21st-century version of the Morrill Act.

Specifically, the federal government should create a hybrid model in which a limited number of our great public research and teaching universities receive basic operating support from the federal government and their respective state governments. Washington might initially choose a representative set of schools, perhaps based on their research achievements, their success in graduating students, commitment to public service and their record in having a student body that is broadly representative of society.

Washington would provide sufficient additional funding for operations and student support to ensure broad access and continued excellence at these universities. A portion of these resources would ensure that out-of-state and in-state students pay the same tuition and have access to the same financial aid packages. The combined federal-state funding must be sufficient for these universities to maintain their preeminence as well as charge moderate fees to all U.S. citizens and permanent residents.

Philanthropy must continue to be an important resource. To ensure stability, the federal government should agree to match, at a rate of 2-to-1, and the state government at 1-to-1, private endowment funds raised by these public universities for 10 years. If such a public-private partnership raised private philanthropy of $150 million per year, the university would have $6 billion contributed toward a new endowment at the end of 10 years. The payout from this new federal-state endowment would provide operating and other support such as need-based scholarships and would essentially secure excellence and access for a generation.

As with any daring scheme, the devil is in the details. This proposal for a national federal-state university system may require new models of financial governance that include federal and state oversight. This proposal would require these universities to accept a more diverse geographic mix of students, with perhaps fewer students from their own state. Yet such problems are solvable, if there is a will. The great benefit to all states, particularly those that do not yet have internationally acclaimed public universities, would be the opportunity for residents to attend other flagship state universities without paying out-of-state fees.

The need for an alternative model to preserve the public character of our great universities is increasingly urgent. This is one model, but there may be other, and more attractive, options. Simply put, no matter what the form, we must take some radical steps if we are to preserve the public character of America's great public universities.

The Morrill Act was passed during the darkest days of the Civil War by a bold president and farsighted members of Congress. Even in perilous times they recognized the irreplaceable value of a well-educated populace for the country's economic and democratic future. Today's political leaders would be just as right in making a similar investment in America's future.

Robert J. Birgeneau and Frank D. Yeary are, respectively, the chancellor and vice chancellor of the University of California at Berkeley.

"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire." -- William Butler Yeats

Funny Feline Fotos - Part 2

Aquadoc — Mon, 28 Sep 2009 00:20:00 -0700

More funny feline photos from my brother-in-law Bob Lankford.

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. They have never forgotten this." -- Anonymous

"Cats are smarter than dogs. You can't get eight cats to pull a sled through snow." -- Jeff Valdez

Funny Feline Fotos - Part 1

Aquadoc — Sat, 26 Sep 2009 00:40:00 -0700

From my brother-in-law Bob Lankford.

"Cats are intended to teach us that not everything in nature has a purpose." -- Garrison Keillor (must be a dog guy)

The Menace of the Public Option

Aquadoc — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:30:00 -0700

Think you've heard everything about "the public option"? M.C. Blakeman opined on the topic in the 19 September 2009 San Francisco Chronicle, albeit with a slightly different angle:

Of all the current assaults on our noble republic, perhaps none is more dangerous than the public option - specifically, the public library option.

For far too long, this menace has undermined the very foundations of our economy. While companies like Amazon and Barnes & Noble struggle valiantly each day to sell books, these communistic cabals known as libraries undercut the hard work of good corporate citizens by letting people read their books for free. How is the private sector supposed to compete with free? And just what does this public option give us? People can spend hours and hours in these dens of socialism without having to buy so much as a cappuccino. Furthermore, not only can anyone read books for free in the library, they can take them home, too. They get a simple card that can be used at any library in town. No checking on the previous condition of books they've read. No literacy test. Nothing. Yet, do these libertines of literature let you choose any book you want, anytime you want it? No. Have you ever tried to get the latest best-seller at a public library? They put you on a waiting list for that, my friend. And if you do ask these government apparatchiks a question about a book, they start talking your ear off, and pretty soon they're telling you what to read.

Of course, if you break one of their petty rules and return a book late, you have to pay fines that mount grotesquely each day. Even if you die, your overdue fees keep piling up. Is that not a death tax? How long must the elderly live in fear of burdening their children with these unfair sanctions on their estates?

Don't be fooled for a minute. Somebody has to pay for these "free" libraries, and I'll tell you who it is, pal. Those good ol' suckers, the American taxpayers, that's who.

Have you ever wondered who's really behind this public library option? And don't you think it's fishy that they mask their nefarious activities with benign-sounding names, like Friends of the Library? What's their real agenda - and why do they have so many "volunteer" meetings, anyway?

No, my fellow Americans. We cannot wait until we're all goose-stepped into a massive book checkout line. This assault on capitalism and our very way of life has got to end. Be subversive ... burn your library card! Go out and buy a book!

M.C. Blakeman is the co-author of Safe Homes, Safe Neighborhoods: Stopping Crime Where You Live.

"A true gentleman is one who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't." -- R. Acket

Campanastan Visits the Eastern Provinces

Aquadoc — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 05:59:35 -0700

Sometimes it is necessary to forsake the comfort of one's home to visit one's subjects in the hinterlands - in this case, the eastern USA. With that philosophy guiding me I flew east and took an impromptu trip from Dulles Airport to western Maryland, then south along/atop the Allegheny (aka Alleghany, Allegany) Mountains of eastern West Virginia, and then east to Virginia's Shenandoah Valley and finally to Washington, DC, for meetings of Campanastan's NAWQA Committee on Monday and Tuesday.

My trip is 'impromptu' because I was originally going to spend it with a college classmate and his wife at their summer home southeast of Richmond, but an emergency took them out of town. So I decided to ad lib it. This post comes to you from Fisherville, VA, which is just off Interstate 64 in the Greater Waynesboro (so named for Wayne Knight, who played Newman on Seinfeld, and once spent the night here) area. I spent Friday night in Cumberland on the Potomac River in western Maryland.

Yesterday morning I headed west on scenic Interstate 68 and after a few miles crossed the Eastern Continental Divide (elevation 2610 feet) that separates the Atlantic Ocean drainage from the Gulf of Mexico drainage. Then a few miles farther I summited this mountain, whose title reflects an earlier era.

I headed south from I-68 down into West Virginia's Monongahela - Tygart Valley river basin. Here's what the countryside looked like. This view is

to the west, just before crossing from MD into WV. You can see that the leaves are beginning to change color.

Before departing Maryland it was necessary to purchase a cafe latte at McDonald's, as such drinks are illegal in West Virginia, along with quiche and a few other dishes.

On Thursday night I learned that West Virginia drivers are reluctant to turn on their headlights until it's absolutely pitch black. Perhaps it's to save halogen gas. But they are great spellers - all the roadside anti-abortion signs were perfect.

Before I crossed into West Virginia I passed through Accident, MD. No indication of how it acquired its unuaual name.

I continued south on Highway 219, touched briefly the Elk River basin and then picked up the Greenbrier River basin all the way to Interstate 64.

This is the smallest church in the Lower 48. It is capable of holding the entire Catholic population of West Virginia.

I took a brief side trip to WV's Snowshoe Mountain Ski Resort. In between the condos lining the slopes and the Lexus SUVs lining the road I managed to get a picture looking to the west. I must have been about 4,000 feet above mean sea level when I took this shot. As you can see, some weather was coming in.

Also saw several installations of these as I drove south:

Plenty of wind blows in WV, and for a good reason: Virginia sucks!

My last picture is that of a dry streambed in the Greenbrier River drainage. It's near the end of the water year, so things should be pretty dry. But the 'farmer' on whose property I took this told me that in the ten years he'd been here he has never seen any season so dry. This particular stream has been dry for a month.

I put 'farmer' in quotes because I've never met a farmer with a Porsche Boxster S in the driveway. It had VA ego plates, so I suspect he was the type of farmer whose 'crops' were tax breaks.

The trip was thoroughly enjoyable. It brought back 40-year-old memories, seeing lots of folded sandstones, fossiliferous limestones, slates and other familiar 'Appalachian-type' rocks on which I cut my teeth (and a few other things). I had never been along Highway 219 but had been along similar roads with the usual fascinating and at times, inscrutable, geology.

I'd forgotten how difficult it is to "do" Eastern geology, because the vegetation hides the rocks so you are reduced to looking for exposures in roadcuts, stream valleys, excavations, or quarries. I remember my former professors going nuts whenever they heard of a new roadcut or quarry. Off they'd race, with us in tow.

And of course, I had my usual collection of custom-burned doo-wop and car song CDs to make the drive even more pleasurable.

The only things missing were Mary Frances and a ragtop (Hertz had none at Dulles).

And I still know the words to Jan and Dean's Dead Man's Curve!

"Come on - turn it on, wind it up, blow it out G.T.O." -- Ronnie and the Daytonas, Little G.T.O. (1964)

(Funny) Signs of the Times in Jamaica

Aquadoc — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 07:26:28 -0700

Thanks to Marc Thomas for providing these.

"Every cave-hole have him own duppy." -- Jamaican proverb
(translation: "Everyone has his own troubles.")

Universal Health Care World Map

Aquadoc — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 00:14:00 -0700

For a larger map, click on the figure or go to the original link. I do not know the original source.

Interesting that, according to this map, Iraq and Afghanistan have UHC, provided by USA war funding.

Winston the Pigeon Kicks the Internet's Butt

Aquadoc — Sun, 13 Sep 2009 00:40:00 -0700

Winston the pigeon, shown here with his girlfriend Paloma after the two were arrested for indecent exposure, beat South Africa's leading internet provider Telkom in a test to see whether data downloaded on a Telkom connection could beat Winston's 50 mile (80 km) flight from Pietermaritzburg to the coastal city of Durban with a data card strapped to his leg.

Turns out that by the time Winston reached Durban (a little over 2 hours), delivered his data card to a human who downloaded the data, only 4% of the data had been downloaded on a line provided by Telkom.

The contest was arranged by Unlimited IT after the company became frustrated with slow data transmission. Seems that's a big problem throughout Africa. If it's like this in South Africa, I can imagine what it's like in a place like Angola.

Here is the complete story from Reuters, who also provided the picture.

Hard to believe that I've finally found a company that makes Qwest look good. But Winston has Qwest beat.

“I called one of them 900 sex-talk numbers. Got a gal who stuttered. Cost me $1700.” – Larry the Cable Guy

9/11/09

Aquadoc — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 00:45:00 -0700

Eight years ago today my younger sister Ann Campana Judge was murdered by the five men you see here.

She was on American Airlines Flight #77 - the one that was crashed into the Pentagon.

I will always remember that these men, as well as 10 of the other 14 murderers, were Saudi Arabians. The other four were nationals of the UAE (2), Lebanon, and Egypt.

Not Iraqis.

Not Afghans.

Not Iranians.

Not nobody else.

When we buy Saudi oil, some of our money goes to organizations that support these kinds of people.

We should never forget that.

Last year on this date they dedicated the Pentagon Memorial. The Washington Post had a special section on it.

I've been to the memorial twice and it is a remarkable place. It's open 24/7.

Below are some pictures, including Ann's bench and her name carved in stone at the entrance.

Last month I had a nice long visit. I sat on her bench and said "God bless!" to the other 183 murdered heroes who are memorialized, including the three middle-school students and their teachers Ann and NGS colleague Joe Ferguson were escorting to Los Angeles to join others for a field trip to the Channel Islands. It was the students' first airplane trip.

Here are more pictures.

Next time I vist I'll bring some Diet Coke, a pack of Marlboro Lights, and maybe a bottle of Dewar's. Those were three of Annie's favorite things.

One thing gnaws at me: what were Ann's last moments like? Was she aware that they were going to crash? She must have - she was an experienced flyer who'd flown out of DC airports many times. She knew they were flying too fast and too low. And they were going in the wrong direction to be landing at DCA. Did she die on impact or suffer? Was she comforting the children? Probably.

Somewhat morbid, I know, but I cannot let go.

I have her effects in a box in our library - her driver's license, some business cards, etc. It's amazing how well they survived the conflagration.

On the tenth anniversary I am going to retrace her flight. I suspect flight number 77 has long since been retired byAA but I'll do IAD > LAX. Perhaps that will help me.

Here is an article about the foundation I created to honor Ann.

RIP, Annie. You're still doing good things.

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." -- Edmund Burke

World's Worst Sports Column(ist)?

Aquadoc — Thu, 10 Sep 2009 00:25:00 -0700

Mark Whicker of the Orange County Register, trying to do his best Mitch Albom imitation, wrote this column on 7 September 2009. It defies description, except for the title of this post. The comments he received are worth perusing.

Many odd things have happened in sports the last 18 years

It doesn't sound as if Jaycee Dugard got to see a sports page.

Box scores were not available to her from June 10, 1991 until Aug. 31 of this year.

She never saw a highlight. Never got to the ballpark for Beach Towel Night. Probably hasn't high-fived in a while.

She was not allowed to spike a volleyball. Or pitch a softball. Or smack a forehand down the line. Or run in a 5-footer for double bogey.

Now, that's deprivation.

Can you imagine? Dugard was 11 when she was kidnapped and stashed in Phillip Garrido's backyard. She was 29 when she escaped. Penitentiary inmates at least get an hour of TV a day. Dugard was cut off from everything but the elements.

How long before she fully digests the world she re-enters? How difficult to adjust to such cataclysmic change?

More than that, who's going to explain the fact that there's a President Obama?

Dugard's stepfather says she's going to need a lot of therapy — you think? — so perhaps she should take a respite before confronting the new realities.

So, Jaycee, whenever you're ready, here's what you've missed:

•Barry Bonds, who was just leading the Pirates to their second NL East title, wound up breaking Henry Aaron's home run record. How did such a skinny guy manage that? We'll deal with that later.

•Well, actually, some baseball players began taking drugs in order to hit more home runs and throw faster fastballs. Football players, who had cornered the market on most of their drugs, began driving drunk, slapping their wives, selling drugs, and killing people. The baseball players caught more grief.

•Michael Jordan did indeed win the big one, and five others.

•Yeah, this golfer really is named Tiger Woods.

•Stock car drivers now marry international models and are invited to the White House.

•Domed stadiums, like the ones in Houston and Minneapolis, are considered obsolete, or at least unfit for baseball.

•John McEnroe became a respected television analyst, just as tennis adopted a replay system that eliminated the need for McEnroe to argue.

•Magic Johnson is a billionaire businessman, and most of us have forgotten just why he had to retire.

•You missed absolutely no Servite victories over Mater Dei in football.

•Or World Series championship for the Dodgers.

•Or Stanley Cup championships for the Kings, even though Wayne Gretzky took them to the Finals in 1993.

•Mike Tyson now makes fun of himself in movies.

•The Anaheim Ducks won the Stanley Cup in '07. Yeah, a hockey team came to Anaheim. Yeah, they built an arena in Anaheim.

•I know you've had trouble digesting all this so far, but they also built a basketball arena at USC. Honest to God.

•A guy from East L.A. named Oscar De La Hoya now makes boxing contenders rich and famous. Just as he did when he was boxing.

•The Angels won a World Series. When you learn who they beat, you'll understand why.

•Speaking of the Giants they did not move, but they did get a new stadium downtown. The Florida Marlins, who did not exist when you left, won two World Series and are getting their own ballpark. Even if you were there, it's hard to believe.

•For the most part, fans have stopped doing The Wave.

•In fact, you don't see many beach balls in Dodger Stadium or Angel Stadium anymore.

•The two NFL teams that we used to have? They've been gone for 15 years. You haven't heard anyone complain about that? Neither have we.

•Jackie Autry isn't in charge of the Angels anymore, as you might have surmised by looking at the standings.

•Joe Torre now manages the Dodgers, after a fruitful detour through New York. Tommy Lasorda? Sure, he's around. He hasn't called?

•You disappeared a couple of months before John Daly came into our lives at the '91 PGA. Who's John Daly? Never mind.

•Todd Marinovich showed why careers aren't played on paper.

•USC is one of college football's elite programs, three coaches later.

•The Red Sox won two World Series, which proves that history is bunk. The White Sox even won one. But not the Cubs.

•Cal Ripken Jr. broke Lou Gehrig's record for consecutive games played but never threatened Vladimir Guerrero's record for most consecutive swings.

•One blessed constant remains: Vin Scully.

•And ballplayers, who always invent the slang no matter what ESPN would have you believe, came up with an expression for a home run that you might appreciate.

Congratulations, Jaycee. You left the yard.

Betcha Jaycee had no idea she missed all this! Thanks for enlightening her, Mark! Maybe you can lend her a tape of all these great moments. Give her something to take her mind off any troubles she may have.

Here is Whicker's apology.

Whicker gives creedence to the aphorism, "Sports journalism is an oxymoron."

"Nature abhors a moron." -- H.L. Mencken