Can I Lose 30 in 30?

Day 30 Weigh-In: Say Cheese

2010-04-28T09:09:00.000-07:00

When I arrived at the center for my Day 30 Weigh-In my consultant says I look like I have shrunk at least 2 sizes!

Okay, that's sweet. But 2 Sizes? After what I've been through, I should be almost toddler size. Forget sizes 2-8. I should be size 18 months. How about we get me into a onesie?

She warns me that even though I have no more HCG injections, I still have 3 weeks of 'maintenance' ahead of me.

This means slowly introducing fat back into my life. I know what you're thinking. "Just look behind you." Yes, we've met. But we're not talking about that much fat. I am allowed exactly one ounce of cheese. A day. Pitiful right? How big is an ounce of cheese? Exactly 1 square inch. Nevertheless, I am over the moon! I never really loved cheese all that much, but now the idea of it sounds so decadent. Just saying cheese, makes me happy! Okay, so maybe I've been feeling a little deprived.

I am also allowed to have 4 ounce servings of protein instead of 3 1/2 ounces. I know. Big Whoop. I can also have 2 servings of fruit daily. 1 at breakfast and 1 at lunch. What that means is 6 strawberries, 1 apple, 1 orange or 1/2 of a grapefruit. Aside from that I am still not allowed any starch or sugar and that means none of the following:

Bread
Potatoes
Corn
Wine (whine)
Crackers
Cereal
Chocolate
Popcorn
Chips
Cookies
Ice Cream
Cake
Pizza
Pasta
Candy

It occurs to me that the next three weeks are not going to be much easier than the last three.

Now its time for the weigh-in and measurements:

Day 30 results: 13.5 pounds and 32.5 inches. (Holy Spanks Batman! That's over 2 & 1/2 feet.)

I'm a little disappointed because I still need to lose another 16.5 lbs to hit my 30 lb goal. But my consultant tells me that I should not be hung up on the number on the scale, because what I have lost so far is all fat. The 32.5 inches proves it. She's right because I am getting into clothes that have not fit me in 4 years. But you want to know the best part?

I earned a command performance from my favorite crustacean, Sebastian!

"Feelin' Hot Hot Hot!"

Side Effects

2010-04-26T08:15:00.000-07:00

So I have discovered that extreme dieting does have some side effects. Here are just a few:

Hunger: No, I'm not just talking about feeling a little peckish. I'm pretty sure my stomach thinks I lost my teeth.

Cold Hands: Diet appropriate foods are more often found in the fridge than on your pantry shelf. Something to do with fresh produce. Go figure.

Envy: I am jealous when I see anyone eat. Yeah, even little old ladies. Especially my mother, because she makes it look like it's so much fun.

Need More Pedicures. I can see my feet.

Slow Reaction Time: I read somewhere that lack of carbs slows your reaction time, so no operating heavy equipment, no tractor trailer driving. Geez, does that explain why I'm driving slow enough to drive Miss Daisy? Or maybe it's just a Driving-in-Florida thing.

Mood Swings: Okay this might not be entirely accurate. I wouldn't say my mood exactly swings. The needle is pretty much stuck on foul. I wonder? Is that why they call them 'Skinny Bitches'? And does that explain my road rage? Or maybe it's just a Driving-in-Florida thing.

Brain Drain: I think the technical term is stupidity. Sometimes I just can't form sentences. I read somewhere that lack of carbs not only causes a slight memory loss,but also impacts your ability to concentrate. Or maybe it's just a Getting-old-in-Florida thing.

Poor Math Skills: I read somewhere that lack of carbs impacts your ability to add and subtract. Do you believe that? Well, you shouldn't! Just checking to see if you're paying attention.

Fatigue: Okay this is an easy one. After all, I am eating 500 calories a day. I'm not exactly ready to run a marathon. Actually it might be safe to say that I am not ready to run. Period. My get-up-and-go got up and went.

Thinness: The Holy Grail of side effects! But hang on. My final weigh-in is looming, so the verdict's not in yet. Say a prayer.

A Hungry Woman

2010-04-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

As a hungry woman, I am desperate to avoid situations where people are eating or even situations where there is a potential for eating. Sounds impossible doesn't it? Well maybe it's not.

For example, earlier this week my dear old Aunt B went into the hospital for surgery and I decided to pay her a visit. Since Aunt B is my mother's sister, I invited Mom.

I know what you're thinking: Will I ever learn? But this time I had it covered. The plan was to pick Mom up right after I left work and since this was going to be after 1PM, I figured she would eat lunch at home. And just to be sure, I asked to please eat before I got there. That way I could avoid witnessing one of Mom's junk food banquets. Good plan, right?

So we get to the hospital and Mom needs to stop at the gift shop to get a little something for Aunt B. Sweet, right? We each pick out a trinket and walk over to the cash register when suddenly Mom, sucked into the gravitational pull of chocolate, does an about face and heads straight for a display rack loaded with candy bars.

It wasn't a long walk from the gift shop to Aunt B's hospital room, but it was long enough for Mom to finish a giant (like the size of your foot) Three Musketeers. As I led the way through the hospital corridors, Mom ambled along behind me, chewing,sucking, smacking and swallowing. If her legs had moved as fast as her mouth we would have arrived in Aunt B's room faster than you can say matricide. And Mom enjoys a candy bar even more than she does a chicken wing. If I had had the courage to turn around and look at her, I might have witnessed true love.

But to be fair, she had to finish her Three Musketeers because there was no way it was going to fit into her purse and since we were visiting Aunt B in intensive care, Mom couldn't very well walk into her room carrying a humongous hunk of chocolate. I'm pretty sure that there's no food allowed in ICU.

When we got to her room, Aunt B-poor thing-was hooked up to a number of machines and was just waking up. Her surgery had been the day before and she was still a little groggy from the meds. She apologized because she had to remain flat on her back. Doctor's orders were that she was not to lift her head off of her pillow and she was not allowed to moved her left arm, which was hooked up to an IV drip, among other things.

A few minutes into our visit, Mom and I excused ourselves from the room while one of the nurses came into attend to Aunt B. As we waited outside I could have sworn I saw someone carry a tray of food into her room. "Must be hallucinating, I thought, because this is ICU and there's no food allowed here. Is there? Besides that, Aunt B can't eat. She can't even raise her head."

Not too long afterwards, the nurse opened the door and invited us back into the room. For a moment I thought I was being punked, because there lay Aunt B flat on her back with a plate on her stomach. Eating a grilled cheese sandwich. With her good arm. And this wasn't one of those hospital food sandwiches. This was a beautiful grilled cheese with just a hint of cheese oozing out of the ends and the bread grilled to just the right color. It was a flashback of the grilled cheese Mom used to serve with tomato soup.

I may be in need of a mental health professional, because in that moment I envied Aunt B. What kind of a person is jealous of an 80 year old woman in a hospital bed eating a sandwich? A really hungry one, I guess.

Still, I was glad that Aunt B was doing very well. After about an hour, Aunt B looked like another nap was coming on (My guess was that the grilled cheese did her in), so Mom and I left.

Never one to be outdone, Mom opened her purse during the drive home and whipped out a plastic bag full of peanut butter crackers. My torture didn't last long though. The crackers were history in about 2 exits.

Oh and what I said about avoiding 'eating situations.' Yeah. Impossible.

You Say Tanita

2010-04-21T08:22:00.002-07:00

I went to see my weigh-loss consultant yesterday and she tells me the scale is broken and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Because one scale may not be calibrated the same as the other, if you weigh in on this scale one day and that scale another day, you may not get accurate readings.

This particular scale is a very complicated piece of equipment called a Tanita (ta-NEE-da). And if you think your bathroom scale is an in-your-face-know-it-all, you should try stepping on one of these babies. The Tanita scale does not just report your body weight. Among other things, it can report, fat percentage, muscle mass, BMI, BMR, (PMS?) and total body water. If for example, you are not drinking your 64 oz's of water daily, this contrary little contraption will rat you out faster than you can retain counsel.

And it gets worse! A few seconds after you step on, it begins to spew a detailed printout of the sad state of your physique into the eager hands of your consultant. Trust me. The second you step off this thing, you have no secrets left. It does everything but check your pockets for candy bars.

"So now what?", I ask. She informs me that she has a new scale arriving in a matter of minutes that will work until the Tanita is repaired. In the meantime she has me step on a bathroom scale that is used as standby. Now I'm feeling pretty good about this standby because it shows of weight loss of 3 pounds. And while I haven't earned a performance from Sebastian the dancing, singing crab, I'm good with 3 pounds in 5 days.

I am inches from a clean get-away when one of the staff arrives with the new and improved temporary scale."Let's try this one",my consultant says. So I hop on and WHAT? It indicates a loss of 2.5 pounds instead of 3. "Did you record the 3 pounds my chart?" I ask. As soon as she nods, yes, I say,"Okay. 3 pounds it is!"

So, as of day 16, I have lost a total of 7.5 pounds.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!

Dieting Dos and Don'ts

2010-04-20T02:58:00.000-07:00

Okay, 16 days in and here's what I've learned.

Do plan ahead. Plan your meals. Shop for 2 or 3 days worth of food at a time.

Don't let yourself get too hungry. This can be dangerous. You're starving. You open up the fridge, freezer or pantry and...uh oh! The rest is a blur.

Do keep a food journal. Write down everything you eat and drink. HINT: if your food journal reads like Tolstoy, stop eating! You're done.

Don't become Existential. If you eat a box of Jelly doughnuts in the middle of the night and no one sees you will it make you fat? Ah.... yes!

Do go to the beach. I'll say it again: You versus a couple of feet of Lycra- Spandex is a great diet motivator.

Don't take my mother with you. I don't know about your mother, just don't take mine. (Have you read my post:"If It's Not One Thing?")

Do eat out, but don't dine anywhere that:

Someone may ask, "Would you like fries with that?"
They boast "Over 1 billion served"
Salt is listed as a side
You can "Have it Your Way."
You place your order by speaking into the mouth of a clown
The desserts are bigger than your toddler
The waitress skates over to your car
You can eat in your car
Butter is listed as a side
They speak French
They speak Italian
They speak Spanish
You don't know what they speak

Alright, forget what I said. Just don't eat out. Period! You're on a diet for heaven's sake!

Weights and Measures

2010-04-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

So Wednesday was day 10 of the HCG injections, day 8 of the 500 calorie diet and my second weigh-in at the weigh loss center. It all went down like this:

My weight loss consultant (interrogator, priest, shrink, rabbi, confidant) brings me into a small office (confessional) and questions (grills) me about the last few days. She wants to know how much water I am drinking, down to the ounce. Next, she looks over my my food journal, the sum which could fit on a postage stamp and questions me about my intake of herbs and vitamins, takes my blood pressure and records everything on my chart.

Today I am also due for measurements. Now, for just a second I thought she was going to entertain me with a magic trick because she opens a desk drawer and begins to pull out a measuring tape that seems to have no end to it. Seriously, this thing is long enough to calculate the distance from the earth to the moon. And while I have never seen anyone in the center large enough to need anything close to this much tape, I understand the logic. Can you imagine being told that they just don't have a long enough tape to go around you? It wouldn't take much more than that to send me right over the edge. Anyway, this measurement was nothing,if not thorough. I was measured from my neck all the way down to my cankles.

She tells me I have lost of total of 6.75 inches. Okay. I'm feeling pretty good about that until she leads me to the 'Celebration Room' for the weigh-in. It's no secret that there has never been any love lost between the scale and me and today is no exception. Even that son-of-crab Sebastian remains gut-wrenchingly silent. Since my last weigh-in 5 days earlier, I have only lost another pound and a half. UGH!

"Good job", my consultant says, as I fight back tears. I am disappointed and she is compassionate and suspicious. I think I understand her. Whiles she has probably listened to more whining and held more hands than a first grade teacher,I bet she has also heard more excuses than a traffic cop with a ticket book.

She leads me back to the office where she hides all the sharp objects as I collapse into the chair moaning, "Why, why, why?" After we discuss my food choices again, and she is convinced (I think) that I didn't cheat (I didn't!) she assures me that 4.5 pounds & 6.75 inches in 10 days is respectable.

The problem is, is that I didn't sign up for respectable. I came to play and at this point I am not above fighting dirty. So I beg her for every trick in the book and here's what she tells me:

Drink More Water (As it is, I feel like I'm on the HC-PEE diet)
Stick with white fish like tuna and scallops. No beef or chicken. (Whimper.)
Drink less Coffee (Whine)
Drink a special tea from the health food store, called 'Smooth Move'. (nuff said?)
Take an appetite suppressant. (So'll I'll eat less?)
Try an apple fast. Eat only apples all day. (In case the 'Smooth Move' doesn't work?)
No body lotion with oil in it. (Aha! So it's my moisturizer that's making me fat!)

Okay, so with a new plan of attack, I am even more determined to persevere. I'll drink water till my teeth float if that's what it takes! I'll drink special teas and eat apples till they're coming out of my ears!

I want a cookie.

If It's Not One Thing

2010-04-13T11:45:00.014-07:00

A girlfriend of mine used to say, "If it's not one thing, It's your Mother." Can anyone relate?

While she is a God-fearing woman who loves her family, my mother's true passion is shopping for clothes, going to the beach and eating. Strictly 'old school', she believes trying on clothes, sunscreen and health food are a waste of time.

So yesterday I offered to take her to the beach, which is an interesting experience under the best of circumstances. For those of you who don't know Daytona; we drive on the beach.

Last summer Mom got her car stuck in the sand. She switched gears from reverse to drive for forty-five minutes while five good Samaritans pushed, rocked, and shoveled, before she realized that her emergency break was on.

Get the picture? She's the Lucy to your Ethel. The Abbot to your Costello. The Norton to your Kramden. The Kramer to your Seinfeld. The Calamity to your Jane. She's good-intentioned, lovable, loads of fun and a little dangerous. In fact, if I didn't fear litigation, she would star in her own blog.

This particular morning Mom needs a ride to her physical therapy session. (She took a fall up a flight of stairs....Don't ask.) She decides to wear her bathing suit under her clothes so we can head straight to the beach after her appointment and not miss any valuable tanning time. Mom also thought it would be prudent to send me on a snack-run while she's at PT.

This is where someone could get hurt, because especially now, Mom's idea of snacks and mine don't exactly mesh. For one thing, she eats anything she wants and I'm allowed to eat....ahhhh let me think..oh yeah..nothing! So I procure her junk food, and am out of that candy aisle faster than the M&Ms could say "Come hither".

At 10 AM, when I pick her up from therapy, Mom asks about lunch. "What did you have in mind?", I ask. And even as the question left my mouth, I knew in my heart of hearts that there was only one place we could possibly be headed.

Twenty minutes later Mom's sitting in her beach chair, covered from head to toe in dark tanning oil and feasting on fried chicken, potato chips, Snickers bars and Pepsi while I am hiding under a giant hat, wearing SPF 100 sun block, drinking water and suppressing murderous thoughts.

18 yr old Mom in Miami

In case you're wondering, my lunch was a miniature tuna salad. Actually salad might be an exaggeration, unless you consider one tiny Campari tomato and two slices of cucumber a salad. Come to think of it, even miniature is an exaggeration if you consider that my seventy calories of tuna could fit nicely on a fifty cent piece.

My favorite part of the day was when the man walked past us and remarked how good the chicken looked. (Not nearly as good as it smelled, by the way.) Mom saluted him with a drumstick and said, "I know how to eat at the beach!"

And I have to hand it to her. She really does.

Sweet Dreams

2010-04-11T10:13:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make. Last night I walked into a strange room and discovered that I was ankle deep in M & Ms. And faster than you can say cellulite, I bent down grabbed a handful and popped them into my mouth. As I looked around the room, I saw miles of shelves filled with of all kinds of yummy looking breads. As I reached out for the bread and scouted the room for some butter, this annoying voice reminded me of my diet... and I woke up. Tragically, I can't even remember what the M & M's tasted like and I couldn't even smell the bread.

So is this what it's come to? Am I in trouble all ready? Am I really feeling so deprived? I don't even have a week under my belt and I'm having sweet dreams.

What surprises me is that I didn't dream of a bottle of Red Wine and a Bag of Chips. But stay tuned. Tonight I may end up in a pool of Cabernet floating on a giant Ruffle. And with any luck that voice will shut up long enough for me to have a moment of decadence that I can savor.

The Celebration Room

2010-04-10T17:38:00.000-07:00

So at the weight loss center they have a special room (closet) where they take you to weigh-in. They call it the 'Celebration Room'. (Hope springs eternal.)

It is as cheerful as it is small and the walls are covered with colorful balloons and poster boards with photos and signatures of other 'losers'. There's a 10 lb poster board, 15 lbs and so on. All the way up to 100 lbs. (I know. 100 lbs! Way to go!)

On top of a small table in the room is a bright red stuffed crab. No, not the kind from Red Lobster. It's Sebastian from 'Under the Sea.' When you have a significant weight-loss,they squeeze his claw and he dances and sings "Feelin Hot Hot Hot!" Seriously.

But do you know what really looms larger than life for me in the Celebration Room? It's that dubious fair weather friend. That tattletale that out-tattles your little brother. The betrayer without a conscience and the ultimate lie detector. It's the mother with eyes in the back of her head. The cop, judge and jury. You guessed it. It's that-never-lets-you-get-away-with-anything, all knowing, all seeing smug son-of-a-you-know-what SCALE!

And while I have never thought that I could fool a lie detector, I have often believed that I could fool a scale. After cheating on diet after diet, I have stepped on scale after scale, holding my breath and hoping against hope that justice (magic) will prevail and that scale will give me the number of my dreams. Never happened. Not once.

Now having said that, weighing in can be a fine tuned skill. An art, if you will. And if you possess that skill, the numbers can be manipulated to a certain degree. I have witnessed other 'losers' whom have perfected this talent to quite an impressive degree. It involves wearing the lightest weight clothing, emptying your pockets, and removing all of your jewelry and not eating or drinking water a hour or two before your weigh-in. A quick visit to the potty is also recommended by connoisseurs of the weigh-in ritual.

In fact, this particular 'Celebration Room' used to have a door which had to be removed in order to discourage the women from peeling off most of their clothing before stepping on the dreaded 'teller of truths'.

Anyway, my moment of truth showed a loss of 3 pounds since Monday, which I guess is not too shabby for someone who spent Monday and Tuesday eating as though she were on death row.

But I have to tell you. More than anything, next time I want that crab to dance and sing for me!

'Feelin Hot Hot Hot.'

500 Calories

2010-04-09T06:58:00.000-07:00

Beginning my third day of the 500 Calorie Diet. Here's what I have been surviving on:

Breakfast:

Protein Drink. No, not the kind that is that you put in a blender with a banana, strawberries and orange juice and sometimes vodka (just sayin'). This is a clear high nutrient protein supplement that is 60 Calories and really pretty tasty. (I prefer orange or mixed berry)

Green Drink. Again, not the kind that is that you put in a blender with a banana, strawberries and orange juice and sometimes vodka. This is a veggie supplement full of pro-biotics made up of, among other things; organic cauliflower powder, broccoli powder and spinach powder. You mix it with water and it's 40 Calories of what tastes like Scope mouthwash and ground cauliflower.

Black Coffee. 0 Calories.

total: 100 Calories

Midmorning Snack:

1 medium red delicious apple. 80 Calories

Lunch:

2.8 oz of tuna packed in water. And in case you're wondering, that's about 3 square inches.- I kid you not. 80 Calories.

3.5 oz of raw cucumber-about 2 inches. 15 Calories

1 chopped Campari tomato-about an 1.5 inches. 15 Calories

All of the above, served with a teaspoon of Walden Farms 0 calorie dressing, amounts to not much more than a dirty plate.

total: 110 Calories

Afternoon snack:
Creamy protein supplement. This is a powder that you mix with water. Tastes like vanilla pudding and while it doesn't hold a candle to cheesecake, it's pretty good. 90 Calories

Dinner:

4 oz of steamed asparagus- 30 Calories

3 oz of steamed shrimp-90 Calories

Total: 130 Calories

Beside those 500 Calories I am drinking about 80 oz of water a day and all the herbal tea I want. Yippee!

My consultant told me that I would probably be tired on this diet and warned that exercise would exhaust me. However, after a long day at work, I went Salsa Dancing last night for about 4 hours. Had plenty of energy and feel great today. My only guess is that my body is still trying to burn off the 500 calorie-an-hour-diet of fat that I was on during the 2 'load days'.

I have my first weigh-in today. Say a prayer.

A Day At The Beach

2010-04-07T15:41:00.000-07:00

No I am not referring to the 500 calorie a day diet, which is truly not a day at the beach. (Yes I sure am singing a different tune today.) I actually spent a day at the beach or at least a couple of hours. I exhausted the first part of the day getting into my swimsuit. And let me tell you, there is nothing like a wrestling match between your thighs and a few feet of spandex to get you motivated for a diet.

On the bright side though, I may have burned a few hundred calories just trying to pull the suit up over my hips. (Nothing like an extreme sport to get you ready for an extreme diet.) Also very relieved that I was able to lay on the beach without anyone trying to push me back into the water.

A Peice of Cake.

2010-04-06T11:16:00.000-07:00

This really is a wonderful diet! It's as easy as pie. Or should I say, "It's a peice of cake?" Cheesecake that is. That's what I had for breakfast this morning. Did I mention how much I love this diet? Hmmm....? I wonder how much weight I've gained?

Hey, all this fatty food wasn't my idea. It's the protocol. I was told that these 'load' days will keep me from starving when I start the 500 Calorie diet tomorrow, so who am I to argue? Had bacon for lunch and looking forward to some KFC for dinner. Would it be wrong to add some mac n cheese and mashed potatoes with butter and biscuts with gravy?

Would it be wrong to indulge in one more 'load' day? Okay let me get a grip. It must be the fat talking. I am drunk with power!

But tomorrow the party is over, so I just have to ask. Would it be wrong to get into bed tonight with a jar of peanut butter and a really big spoon?

Injecting

2010-04-05T16:11:00.000-07:00

Yes I chose the injections. And this morning I started my program... but not without drama.

The HCG prescription is delivered in two vials; one containing the HCG in powder form, and the other containing a special saline solution. I also received one large hypodermic needle and 20 very small hypodermics.

Last week I attended a class on how to mix your HCG. (Yes I know what you're thinking and I did pay attention. Honest.) But in my defense there is a very specific way to mix the very expensive HCG without ruining it. And check this out. The only way to discover that you've ruined it, is if you begin to starve while on the diet!

Anyway, you have use the large hypodermic to draw 4 cc's of saline out of one vial, and inject it into the HCG vial. First bit of trouble I had was getting the solution out of the vial into the hypodermic. Then I remembered to turn the vial upside down and voila! Okay, so this should have been the easy part. All I had to do was inject the hypodermic containing the saline into the HCG vial. Ever so gently I pierced the top of the HCG vial with the needle and began to squeeze out the saline. Big Mistake. Huge! While some saline did make it into the vial, most of it spilled all over my desk. Oh No! Apparently I have the dexterity of a hedgehog.

In a panic, I called the weight loss consultant who sold me the HCG program. "Calm down and come on into the center", she patiently instructed. "Bring everything with you and we will work it out." At the center she deftly took control of the situation while I pretended that I'm not an idiot. She injected what we hope (fingers crossed) is the correct amount of saline into the HCG vial. And there in her office, I gave myself my very first injection and it didn't hurt a bit.

So I started the 'Load Days' today. Which means eating mucho fat! Bacon for breakfast, ham for lunch and pork chops for dinner.This is some diet, huh?

Does anyone know who sells the best New York Style Cheesecake in town?

The Plan

2010-04-01T07:37:00.001-07:00

Okay, to be clear, I don't believe everyone needs to be a size 2 or 4 or 6 or 8 or any particular size to be happy. If you are large and in charge, God Bless. Mozeltov. Vaya con Dios.

As for me. I am not comfortable in my skin right now. So it's time to get serious and get this weight off. At this point I feel about 30 pounds too heavy. Thirty pounds lighter is the goal and I have a plan. A big one! 30 Pounds in 30 Days. Yes, you heard me.

How, you ask? HCG. It's an acronym for Human Chorionic Gonadotropin.

What? It's a hormone produced by the placenta during pregnancy to regulate the mother's metabolism. It releases the mother's stored fat to ensure that the developing fetus receives enough nourishment.

Okay, I just lost the men, didn't I?. Hang on guys. Because it's not a hormone in the traditional sense like a sex hormone, HCG can be used by men and women alike as a weight loss cure.

Here's the fun part: HCG is only effective when combined with a very low caloric diet. How low you ask? 500 Calories a day? Are they kidding?

Now here's the funny part: They say I won't be hungry on only 500 calories a day.LOL

How is that possible? Apparently, this British endocrinologist, Dr ATW Simeons published a report in 1954 on the use of HCG for weight loss. He discovered that this particular hormone has a direct effect on the hypothalamus, which is the part of the of the brain that controls and regulates our weight and metabolism among other things. Now according to Dr, Simeons, certain foods combined with HCG cause an interaction of the hypothalamus. This causes the release of excess fat into your bloodstream, which in turn allows your body to burn it more easily. It's the release of fat that is supposed to prevent hunger while eating only 500 calories a day.

Now here's my favorite part: To begin the HCG weight loss diet you must start with at least two 'Load Days'. In other words you eat as much fat as you can. Chicken wings, fried foods, cheese, cheeseburgers, peanut butter (yeah!)...name your poison. I am cautioned though to make sure to stick with fatty foods and avoid carbs like french fries. ( I knew it sounded too good to be true.) Anyway, you have eat all this fat in order to create enough fat reserve to be used in the first 3 days of the diet, so you don't feel like you're starving.

Am I nuts? Maybe. But keep in mind that this is a medically supervised program. I have to submit blood work and meet with a nurse practitioner before they will write me the prescription for the HCG. Also keep in mind that besides being a big cry baby, I love myself far too much to do anything dangerous.

There are two choices when it comes to taking HCG: You can take the sublingual gel or give yourself injections in the stomach.(What?) Sounds like a no-brainer, right? Who in their right mind would choose the injections? Well, for one thing, the injections are less expensive than the oral form.

Hmmm. What to do? What to do? What would you do?