tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-636685 2009-11-29T22:53:17-05:00 Just Like Mom Used to Make! Breaking News! Celebrity Guests! Haiku Reviews! TypePad CanOWhup-asshttp://feedburner.google.com tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef012875eea7f6970c 2009-11-29T22:53:17-05:00 2009-11-29T23:19:29-05:00

When you wrote that heart-breaking, brave article about your decision, as a sports writer for the LA Times, to send back your kielbasa for the clam dish (and asked that everyone refer to you as "Christine"), we were in your...

Whup-Ass Master tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef0120a6c633c3970b 2009-11-29T21:31:23-05:00 2009-11-29T23:27:26-05:00

Just as found footage documented the unfortunate demise of three obnoxious film students in "The Blair Witch Project," our demented band of covert ninja spies has discovered a diary of pure Christmas terror to rival the icy dread of Baby...

Whup-Ass Master tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef0120a6c101ce970b 2009-11-21T16:14:53-05:00 2009-11-21T23:54:43-05:00

Well howdy-dowdy-doodle-all-day! Goodness, it's been a LONG time since I, America's most socially irresponsible advice columnist , sat down at my formica-and-naugahyde "house beautiful" dinette set, seasonably festooned with a turquoise and mauve butter-churn-and-cornucopia-themed table cloth. You've missed me desperately....

Whup-Ass Master tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef0120a662d106970b 2009-11-08T13:14:50-05:00 2009-11-08T18:48:36-05:00

Um...Lady? Ms. Gaga? Hi. May we call you Ga? Why are you staring at us? Is that a "no"? So, what do you say we hop the next spaceship to Planet Claire and order a pitcher of Supernovatinis? Or we...

Whup-Ass Master tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef0120a648324f970b 2009-11-01T18:49:43-05:00 2009-11-01T21:28:39-05:00

As devoted readers recall, our retarded childhood was set in a lovely mountain town. Think "Stand by Me" without Kiefer Sutherland or train tracks (albeit leeches played an unfortunate cameo). We were lucky enough to live within walking distance to...

Whup-Ass Master tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef0120a6727473970c 2009-10-24T14:09:10-04:00 2009-10-25T21:14:30-04:00

Dear Outraged Virginia Woman, First, since your name is missing from every account we could find, we've decided your name is Tanya C. Butz. According to the story, early one morning you were walking your sensitive son to school when...

Whup-Ass Master tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef0120a649e68d970c 2009-10-18T19:45:37-04:00 2009-10-19T18:31:44-04:00

When we sat down today to blog (an verb which sounds like it should involve a magazine and a roll of charmin), we couldn't decide which ass to whup. There's so many to choose from. There's the classy gal who...

Whup-Ass Master tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef0120a5d9937a970b 2009-10-11T16:41:28-04:00 2009-10-11T19:23:41-04:00

Like you, dear readers, from time to time WAM's gorgeous spam-box is stuffed to the gills with kindly letters from totally well-meaning Nigerians who are simply DYING to help us deposit a gazillion dollars in our checking account (if we'd...

Whup-Ass Master tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef0120a61200ec970c 2009-10-04T17:11:53-04:00 2009-10-04T18:47:57-04:00

Confessing is in. It's the thing to do (rehab is SO 2007!). These days it seems you can't swing a dead cat without hitting some celebrity, politician, or chat show host in the midst of a very public mea culpa,...

Whup-Ass Master tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00d8341ccc3253ef0120a601dd5b970c 2009-10-01T18:40:40-04:00 2009-10-01T19:48:53-04:00

When we arrived in NYC in 1987 to pursue our ill-advised dream of becoming a renowned classical actor, we experienced a period of extreme poverty (who saw THAT coming??). We were reduced to jumping turnstiles, and our daily sustenance consisted...

Whup-Ass Master