Can you see through?

It's January 25th

2023-01-25T13:31:00.001-05:00

I was looking at some pictures of people that I know and people that Grace knew. It was remarkable to see how different each person looked in comparison to the present time. Not one person looked like the same person. It was clear that they had all been undeniably altered by Grace's presence in their lives and her lack of presence in their lives. It was a powerful reminder of how much of an impact a single person can have on the world.

Time. Time puts our lives in perspective. Time is a powerful force that shapes our lives in ways we may not even realize. It can make us reflect on our past and our present, while also helping us to plan for our future. Time puts our lives in perspective, allowing us to see how far we have come and how much further we can go.

Time is often seen as a great healer but when it comes to pain, it does not always provide the relief we hope for. Time does not always heal pain. My dad told me this in 2016. He was right.

Losing my niece was one of the most difficult experiences of my life. She had been a bright light in our family. We were all so close, and it felt like a part of me had been taken away. The grief was overwhelming, and it was hard to come to terms with the fact that she was gone. Even now, years later, I still miss her and think of her daily. Of course, she is not gone ultimately. She still is. This knowledge; this belief, brings hope.

Hope is an essential part of life. It is something that keeps us going through difficult times and encourages us to strive for better. For those who have faith in Christ, hope is found in Him. He is the source of our strength and our assurance that no matter what we face, He will be there to guide us. Christ offers us a hope that is greater than any earthly thing, and it is through Him that we can find true peace and joy.

Living life knowing that loss will come is a difficult reality to accept. It requires us to be brave and resilient, to take risks and be vulnerable. We must learn to appreciate each moment, to savor the joys and embrace the sorrows. We must be willing to love deeply, knowing that one day we will have to let go. Loss can bring pain and grief, but it can also bring growth and perspective. We must learn to live with the knowledge that loss is inevitable, while still striving to be present in each day.

My stay strong tattoo is a reminder to me that no matter what life throws my way, I can make it through with strength and courage. It is a reminder to never give up and to keep pushing forward. The tattoo is a simple phrase, “Stay Strong”, but it carries a lot of meaning. It is a reminder to never give up, to stay focused, and to keep fighting. It is a reminder that no matter how hard things get, I can stay strong and make it through.

So, time can be both a blessing and a curse, but it is ultimately up to us to make the most of it. Living in the moment is a powerful way to experience life. It allows us to appreciate the present and savor all that it has to offer. It is a way to be mindful and intentional with our thoughts and actions. When we live in the moment, we are not focused on the past or the future, but instead on the here and now. This can lead to greater satisfaction, joy, and peace. Time passes quickly, and living in the moment is a way to make the most of it. It is a reminder to take time to appreciate the beauty of life, and to be grateful for all that we have. Living in the moment is greater than time, as it allows us to make the most of each moment and truly savor the experience.

Living in the moment with God indwelling can be a truly life-giving experience. When we allow ourselves to be present in the moment, we can become aware of God's presence and be filled with a deep sense of peace and joy. This can be a powerful reminder that we are never alone, and that God is always with us, no matter what we are facing.

Listen to this to Encourage your Soul

55 Year Age Gap

2020-10-03T21:39:00.004-04:00

Guest post by Megan Achatz. Thanks to Heath for letting me borrow his blog to post this.

55 Year Age Gap

I was in a bad place, stuck if you will. It was just short of 2 ½ years since losing Grace and I was stuck in life, unable to move out of an automatic state of living, unable to reconcile the accident that took her life, unable to “move forward” and not sure if that was right, possible, or something I wanted.

Some time back a friend had pressed a manila envelope into my hand with only, “I think this will help you. I asked permission to give it to you.” as explanation. After reading the description it took 3 weeks to muster enough courage to open it and read the contents. Although the words freshly exposed some of the poorly bandaged wounds of my soul, there was a glimmer of hope. Maybe the author could help me find my way out of my “stuck-ness”.

That is how I found myself sitting in a well-worn recliner opposite a man and friend 55 years my senior. “I don’t know what to do. I’m stuck and I read your testimony and it seems like you are doing much better than me at living with losing someone and I thought maybe you could help me.” tumbled out the incredibly ineloquent explanation for my visit through an already burning throat.

“You’re normal, Megan” Joe said. Then he started to tell me the story of how he’d lost his first wife in a house explosion very shortly after getting married and what happened in his life after. His depression, running from his pain, his attempt at outworking his pain, the physical symptoms that began to manifest as a result. At one point he doubled back and instead of giving a brief reference, he gave me a vivid, detailed, moment by moment description of the day of the accident and the horrific days until she passed as if he was there, reliving the pain again until we were both choking back sobs. His (current) wife, who I’d just noticed had taken a less comfortable dining room chair at the beginning of our talk so I could have the recliner, got up and brought him a glass of water and both of us tissues and paused before she gently took over the story until he could continue.

It had been 60 years since Joe’s first wife passed as the two of us sat there in that pause sharing our tears and pain. It was that moment I realized it’s ok if I still sob while telling the story of the day Grace left earth when I’m 89 years old. That Joe was right in his response to one of the questions I’d brokenheartedly squeaked out, “You don’t get over your loss, Megan. You move forward with it with God’s help. It becomes part of you and that’s ok.” I saw from his story that it’s ok to grieve and live simultaneously (rather than grieve and just exist.)

How I loved them during that pause. Joe cared enough for me to revisit the worst pain of his life to help deal with mine while his wife seamlessly translated how his story practically applied to my life and listened with no judgement as I finally said things out loud I’d been holding in for 2 ½ years. There was no need for the pretense of being alright during the visit. I was there because I needed help and that had been accepted without judgement or question.

Joe took the story back over and began the beautiful part that began with a diagnosis from a medical doctor who’d written only 7 words on his pad, “A smiling face but a broken heart.” The short of it is that Joe started reading the Bible, looking for answers and, in his words, “A short time later I gave my life to the Lord. I had never healed from the wound 25 years earlier…I buried it. But after 25 years, God exposed the hurt and when I gave it all to the Lord, I started to heal. Yes, I still have scars…but I can live with these scars.”

One of the hard questions I asked was if Joe had forgiven the man that (accidentally) caused the house explosion. I appreciated that he did not flippantly answer but took a moment before answering “Yes” and then “I had to.” In return his wife gently added that I needed to forgive the man I only reference as “the other driver” but did not put pressure on me to make any movement toward that end at that moment. To me that is true caring, to care enough to bring up the difficult and painful in the kindest way because you know ignoring it will keep your friend from peace.

The pain of loss was still there when I left that day but I had been un-stuck and gently set down a path to healing by real love, caring, and faith. Perhaps the most liberating realization was that I did not need to try to “get over” the loss of someone I loved. I didn’t have to leave Grace behind to live. She was a beautiful part of my life in person and will continue to be a part of it. Sometimes that means intense pain and sadness and plain old missing her so very badly but sometimes it means joy as I carry and share the memories of her.

That day I had also been set free but I didn’t know it yet. You see, after Grace’s accident I often had flashbacks. They could happen anytime. I can only describe them as being trapped in a room, unable to escape reliving memories of that night while being able to see reality but not being a part of it. I’d have enough of a vague sense of what was really going on around me to fake being ok from the outside while I went back to those moments and experienced them again; the sights, sounds, smells, even tastes, and touch sensations. I’d fight to get back to reality, be exhausted when I did, and, as they often happened at work, try to get ahold of my emotions to continue whatever I was doing before the flashback took over.

The November after the accident the flashbacks peaked when for nearly 3 weeks I spent most of the day either in that state or recovering from it. The next November wasn’t good either, although I’d learned some tricks to help get out faster since they’d been about a frequent occurrence for well over a year by then. On the last day of the next November, I realized in the 4+ months since I’d talked to Joe, I hadn’t had a flashback. I still had very vivid memories, they were still painful, but the element of being trapped in them was gone. I could get out; the relief was overwhelming.

These lines are from the last 2 paragraphs of Joe’s testimony, the papers that had been inside that manila envelope. He wrote, “…give your grief to Jesus, He is waiting to help you as he did me. With this testimony, if only one broken heart is healed, it will be well worth my telling of it.”

One man’s willingness to share his pain and healing with me changed my life and it seems a fitting tribute to both Joe’s memory and the goodness of God to tell this story despite my private personality. If it can help one person start healing or help them get “unstuck”, it is worth it. If you are not a person of faith in Jesus, there is still wisdom and hope to be taken from Joe (and his wife’s) life lessons and perhaps you can see a glimpse of what the love of the real Jesus looks like through their lives and words told here; He’s much better than many have made Him out to be. Have courage to keep going, there is healing for your broken heart. I’m not “there” yet, wherever "there" is, but after that day, I know there is hope.

Not the Same Earth

2020-08-11T12:55:00.000-04:00

Earth Changed Countdown

Why do I do it?

2015-12-09T09:02:00.000-05:00

Recently, I was asked, in front of a group of people I was presenting to, a question that I wasn't prepared to answer. They asked me " Why do you do it?" The question referred to my employment: doing a work I rarely see the end result of, helping young people who are in tough situations, who have little gratitude, while I am paid a comparably low wage. My answer was jumbled with some "ums" , "i like helping people" and a joke thrown in because, at the time I really couldn't think of a comprehensive idea of why I do do it. Afterwards, It thought that I really should know why I do the work I do.

There is a chance that even after I think this idea through and type it out I still won't truly know the answer, but I will know what one answer might be.

Why do I do it?

Ninety-seven percent of the time while reading comics or watching movies, television shows, reading history (or a version of it) I have been drawn to the hero and have been able to see myself in their place, making the choices they make ( will admit there is the three percentage of times where I do identify with the villain-that might be another blog). But why do I identify with the hero?

When I was not quite yet born my mother had an encounter with God, she believed in Jesus Christ and got saved (as the vernacular was in the late seventies and early eighties). Getting saved was important to her and my dad later on. She was saved from going to hell, saved from drinking, saved from smoking, and saved from living a life with low moral standards. Based on her words and my observations growing up, it was important for her that those she cared for got saved as well. I think this idea became ingrained in my personality, to save the people I care about.

Very early on I committed to follow Jesus Christ myself, pursued getting to know what that meant and how to live it out. This meant I needed to read about Christianity. I read everything C.S. Lewis had written, some of it twice and committed to reading or listening to the Bible, as part of my lifestyle. What I found was that Jesus came to find the people who were lost and to save them. Sometimes he saved them from other people, mostly he saved them from sickness and disease, and ultimately through dying and coming back to life saved their spirits from ultimate death. A commitment to follow Jesus Christ and become like him logically followed, in my mind, that I needed to do the same thing.
As a teen I was fairly obsessed with Star Wars, Star Trek, Comic Books, Sherlock Holmes and Indiana Jones. The theme in these stories is, for the most part, saving people, races, planets, and friends. I knew I wanted to be saving people.

A man must know his destiny… if he does not recognize it, then he is lost. By this I mean, once, twice, or at the very most, three times, fate will reach out and tap a man on the shoulder… if he has the imagination, he will turn around and fate will point out to him what fork in the road he should take, if he has the guts, he will take it.”

― George S. Patton Jr.

Sometimes this saving came in ways that are not conventional, not sanctioned by society, or didn't even resemble the act of saving. But the theme was always helping those who needed help, even at the expense of self (see the example of Jesus Christ).

The driving force behind what I do, in my work with youth and disadvantaged people is my connection to Jesus Christ. I endeavor to do everything out of love, sometimes my love, sometimes the love of God; sometimes it is a mix of both. The bible tells us that greater love has no one than this: to lay down his life for a friend. I believe this and feel compelled to live my life to help others.

I see this world as a beautiful connection of spirits, souls, and bodies. Some people have been disconnected from this beautiful connection. By helping people become their best and connecting them with others and with God, the world is as it should be. When this doesn't happen I feel pain, sorrow, and it fuels me to work harder than I think I can and do more than is required of me.

Based I what I know of God and have read, I have faith that what I am doing matters. Faith that everything, no matter how small, makes a difference. Faith that good always triumphs over evil. Faith that I am fulfilling my purpose and that God is taking care of me in that place. I do not always, or even often, see the positive outcomes, but I believe they are happening. I do not always have a perfect sense of how to best help people, but when I am afraid I become courageous. I think that courage is fear hanging on a minute longer. That is how the world is impacted, that is how people are saved, that is how I help. It is why I do it.

A hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.

-Christopher Reeve

Living Life

2015-12-09T08:50:00.001-05:00

“Lead me, follow me, or get the hell out of my way.”
― George S. Patton

The Gospel without the Bible?

2015-08-04T13:00:00.001-04:00

This is a conversation a couple young people had with me today. They are 20 and 22 have not been raised in church and have not read the Bible.

"Man Satan doesn't want us to know. These clothes, cars, these buildings are are here to take our minds off the spiritual. It's crazy."

"Real talk, we were so close to god, right there. That's why Satan came and tricked Eve. F***d us all up."

"Yes, all this gas, nuclear power, radiation; they are all wearing off the god that is in us. We are all made of God, in the spirit. 100 percent."

"These wires, buildings, the billionaires, they are all keeping us disconnected from god."

"Yes, that's why Jesus went to the cross."

Father's Day

2015-06-22T10:29:00.002-04:00

Just a typical post from the people that I encounter at work. Makes me think.

YOLO is a Lie

2015-04-09T15:04:00.000-04:00

I miss Mercy.

Mercy was our sheep.

A very annoying loud ball of wool that ate too much and made the pasture muddy. She lived and died. She isn't going to live again. She lived and seemed to know it was one time around for her. She ate as much as she could, did what she wanted, when she wanted.

The truth is every single one of us is going to continue to live. After we are buried, a time will come when we will live again.

What we do here matters. It doesn't only matter here it matters in the here after. The place that is existing after here. No one can truly tell you how much it matters; how the little things matter, how they will be rewarded or punished or what type of effect they will have on the here after. But they matter know and they matter later.

Everyone that believes in the birth, death, and resurrection of Jesus Christ understands that there is life after this life. It matters how you treat yourself, how you treat others, and what you do. It even matters what you think. Isn't it too much to keep track of what we do, what we think, how we react?

It reminds me of that song from Sunday school. "Trust and Obey for there's no other way to be happy in Jesus but to trust and obey."

One thing is for sure (to a certain extent at least, but to what extent I am unsure of), we can trust Jesus and forget about the rest. If we believe in him we shall never die.

I think that means more than we think it means sometimes.

Dirty Mind or Dirty Hands

2015-03-29T10:49:00.001-04:00

Dirty Mind or Dirty Hands

Time and again, some other time or this time

I browse people's writings

What they've typed online

What they put out for others to see

If not I would assume they

Would put it on paper

Or keep it on their laptop

Or keep it on their tablet

Or keep it on their phone.

Recently I read some writings of an

Interpretation, what someone

Thought that they thought was the thought

Behind what the Bible tells us about living

Tells us about being a person believing in

God,Christ, in more than what we see.

What I noticed was this.

There were words

Ideas and illustrations

Recommending thoughts, lifestyles, and modes of life.

Sometimes and other times this time specifically

I thought of other people's writings

What they put for others to see

If not thought I actually said

Said it out loud in a room alone

Keep it on your laptop

Keep it on your tablet

Keep it on your phone.

Certainly, I agree with writing for public

Relating, what thoughts

May be inside, came inside, are put outside

Dealing with the Bible and life and Christ and the ghost

Inside of me and some others, that we can't see.

What I noticed was this.

There were these writings

Unrelateable and unestablished

With much admiration

Recommendations from the public readers, followers.

Kierkegaard wrote this

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”

The thing is this, it must be lived.

Lived on the street, lived in the woods, lived inside, lived outside.

Not on your laptop

Not on your tablet

Not on your phone.

Week of Dreams

2014-12-11T12:54:00.000-05:00

Dream on Tuesday night

I remember being in the New Life Christian Academy multi-purpose room. Still painted white with the different banners across the top. The alumni were getting together to play a game of basketball there.

I saw Josh Hossler, Brian Karnowsowitz, and Ted Demerrit (who looked fairly old). They were wearing the old basketball uniforms. I had forgotten mine, or didn’t keep it. The game happened fast, real fast and we won. The thing is I didn’t get to play. I remembered telling someone that I could play in my normal clothes. I told Josh Hossler , “ It would have been nice to get a chance to play.” He started to cry. I told him not to bother about it. He stopped crying. I still felt somewhat disappointed. I was walking out to the truck (which was a blue F-150) and Tori Fite ran out and gave me a card in a white envelope.

She said, “Don’t be burning yourself, you shouldn't hurt yourself like that”. I said I wouldn’t hurt myself. She went back in the school and I put the card in the door pocket of the truck-I woke up.

Wednesday night I had a dream

I was walking though the parking lot in St. Clair the one that has the movie theater that has been closed for twenty some years. I noticed a man was lying on the pavement and seemed to be hurt. I went over to him to help and recognized him. It was Steven Tyler, from Aerosmith.

I managed to get him to the hospital (there was no transport scene). We arrived at St John’s hospital on 12 mile rd. I took him in on a stretcher and the paramedics quickly took over.

There were several nurses and doctors moving hurriedly about. Some seemed to know he was a celebrity, some were focused on their job of helping him. In time he was placed in his room and I went in to see him. His daughter Liv was there. She looked like she had been crying, saw me asked if I was the person who saved him and smiled giving me a hug. She said that she didn’t know what to say. Then she said, “thank you”.

The nurse had to run some tests and they came to wheel out Steven Tyler and Liv went with him. I must have been tired because shortly thereafter I woke up in the bed that had been next to his. I sat up; something seemed different. I noticed that I had on a white long sleeve shirt and began to feel confused. I shuffled out to the hall then to a waiting room. I noticed the nurses and orderlies were looking up keeping an eye on me but trying not to let me know they were keeping an eye on me. It was then I realized I needed to get out of there. I walked slowly toward the direction of my room picking up the pace a little as I noticed the exit sign. Turning the corner I looked up to notice a camera peering down the hall toward the exit door. As I began to jog toward the door I removed the white shirt, dropped it on the floor and exited the door. The street was completely unfamiliar, though it looked what I imagine a street in London would look like. I turned right and ran along the street noticing behind me several people chasing wearing white coats. I ran faster and lunged toward a flat top car and was able to get on top of it, unfortunately so did two of the men in white coats. Each grabbed a shoulder and-I woke up.

Homeless Loitering

2014-10-29T12:27:00.001-04:00

Homeless Loitering a Crime No More

As the unemployment rate hovers around ten percent in the United States and an increasing number of people are left unable to afford housing; the issue of homelessness and a larger, visible homeless population are presenting themselves to society anew. Some portions of society have decided to term this issue a blight and pursued the criminalization of homelessness. There is a social problem in many cities where the case of the homeless population loitering has become a substantial issue. This policy topic is to address the issue of homeless populations loitering and the fact that it has become a crime in many cities by dealing with laws and resources for the homeless population.

This policy topic specifically incorporates four social work values as described in the National Association of Social Workers Code of Ethics. This policy incorporates the value of service as it is designed to “help people in need and to address social problems” (The Association, 1999). This would be met in helping people by providing additional safe places and shelter for the homeless population; also in addressing the social problem of the criminalization of homelessness by dealing with the laws.

The social work value of social justice would be incorporated as the policy addresses laws that local governments have set up. This would entail repealing certain current laws, enacting new laws, and changing the practices of cities and businesses. This policy would also address societal thoughts and stereotypes directed toward the homeless population.

Dignity and worth of a person is a necessary aspect of all social work endeavors. This social work value is incorporated by the decriminalization of the homeless population loitering. In this respect a person would not be treated as a criminal and perhaps be viewed as a person of worth by standards of society. By keeping more of the homeless population out of the criminal system this will create opportunities for them to build “socially responsible self-determination” (The Association, 1999).

The importance of human relationships is incorporated in this policy in that were loitering decriminalized the homeless population and the housed population would have a higher frequency of interaction. With the creation of day centers increased social worker and the homeless population interaction could culminate in possible collaborative ventures.

Laws criminalizing the loitering of the homeless population are vast throughout 48 of the United States; controlled by local governments and businesses. “Through the passage of possibly unconstitutional laws, the "selective enforcement" of existing laws, arbitrary police practices, and discriminatory public regulations, people experiencing homelessness face overwhelming hardships in addition to their daily struggle for survival” (National Coalition for the Homeless, 2004). These communities have laws that forbid sleeping, sitting, sharing of food, and standing for too long a period of time. These communities have set a “process of legislating penalties for the performance of life-sustaining functions in public” (National Coalition for the Homeless, 2004).

Other communities create Business Improvement Districts and subsequently create limits on private and public space for the good of a business district. However, “regardless of the number of ordinances passed, homeless people still must eat, sleep, and survive in public because often no alternative is available to them” (National Coalition for the Homeless, 2004). A publication created to help law enforcement officers deal with the homeless population has guidelines that negatively affect the homeless population by deterring loitering. It states cities should, “include central armrests on benches, slanted surfaces at the bases of walls, prickly vegetation in planter boxes, and narrow or pointed treatments on tops of fences and ledges. However, some observers of public spaces argue that the way to lessen the impact of loitering homeless people is to construct even more desirable sitting environments to attract more legitimate users, thus decreasing the ratio of homeless to legitimate users” (Chamard, S. 2010). Other cities have used the presents of business security guards to ask the homeless to “move along”.

Still, several communities have set up task forces to aid in decriminalizing homelessness including: Minneapolis, Philadelphia, and Fort Lauderdale. These task forces include such acts of advocacy as city attorney policies and programs, police protocols, police training, and referral programs to social services programs (National Coalition for the Homeless, 2004).

Several groups can be seen as stake holders in the work of this policy. The homeless are the primary stakeholders. They would be impacted by the policy primarily by decriminalization of loitering and the ability to “preform life sustaining functions in public” (National Coalition for the Homeless, 2004). Businesses will be affected either by the stigma of the homeless in public places or by increases traffic that may lead to sales. Pedestrians will be affected by being put in a position to deal more closely with the homeless population. Law enforcement will be affected in that they will have an increased opportunity to pursue crimes that are causing harm to society. Social service agencies will be affected in that they may need to create new programs and may be in need of skills as they are working with a more empowered homeless population. City planners and governments will be affected in that many laws and policies will be reevaluated, repealed, and created.

In reviewing the policy with the five layer policy analysis model each aspect will bring complex issues. I have little experience with policy as it relates to decriminalizing the homeless loitering. Perhaps the most challenging aspect for me will be the economics. It is reported, “federal spending for people who are homeless increased every year in the last decade, more than doubling to over $5 billion. This spending includes both targeted dollars in homeless-specific federal programs and the estimated spending for people who are homeless and using nontargeted federal programs” (Hombs, M. 2011). I am aware most issues are moved by the economics of a matter, but it is an aspect that I do not have much experience with. The political factors that will influence this policy that I am aware of are: lobbying for change of law, creation of public programs, or funding for private programs. I have little experience in the political realm. In dealing with the ideological factors, I have some experience in dealing with the homeless population and the stigma that some communities hold. I believe changing businesses’ and the public’s attitudes towards the homeless population may be a significant challenge as many view them as a menace to organized society. Social movements to support this policy are beginning already. I am aware that California has a proposed Homeless Bill of Rights that is gaining support. I am also unaware of social welfare history that deals specifically with homeless loitering, though, I think the vagrancy laws of the past might relatable.

This policy could measure outcomes by these factors including: cost, quality of life, number of homeless deaths, crime rates, and number of homeless individuals in a community. Cost would be measured by state and local governments’ revenue for policy enactment, as well as local businesses income gains and losses. Quality of life could be measured by a set of standards or by surveys of individuals before and after policy enactment. Crime rates could be measured by local law enforcement agencies before and after policy enactment. The number of homeless in a community can be measured during homeless point in time counts before and after policy enactment. While these factors are multifaceted they would be a good starting point for outcomes of the policy.

Depending on the anticipations of specific outcome findings the policy will be approached differently. Were it measured by the amount of homeless on the streets a different approach and different outcomes will be desired; that is it would tend to be more removal based. If this was the case the policy would alter dramatically; meaning the types of measurements used are fundamental to having a policy oriented toward the social worker and implementation of the social work core values.

References

Chamard, S. (2010). Homeless encampments. Washington, DC: U.S. Dept. of Justice, Office of Community

Oriented Policing Services.

Hombs, M. (2011). Modern homelessness a reference handbook. Santa Barbara, Calif.: ABC-CLIO.

Code of ethics of the National Association of Social Workers. (1999). Washington, D.C.: The Association.

Illegal to be homeless: The criminalization of homelessness in the United States : Illegal to be homeless

2004 report. (2004). Washington, D.C. (1012 14th St., NW, Suite 600, Washington 20005):

National Coalition for the Homeless.

Time

2014-10-28T08:44:00.001-04:00

Hard work doesn't hurt us.

We live in constant tension between the urgent and the important.

Make time for people.

The root of all sin is self-sufficiency.

It is almost October 31st

2014-10-23T15:32:00.003-04:00

Halloween

By now everyone should know (as you can ask google, siri, bing?) that Halloween was a day dedicated to remembering the dead, including saints (hallows),martyrs, and all the faithful departed believers. This was established by the catholic church as early as the 700's. Where would we be without the rememberances of past saintes? I think about some of the my fellow brothers and sisters who now reside not here that have influenced me. Here is a brief list:

The apostles
St. Francis
John G. Lake
Billy Sunday
Leonard Ravenhill
Rich Mullins
Keith Green
C. S. Lewis
My Grandama

Certainly the world, and most certainly not I, would be the same were it not for the lives of these past Saints. Remembering them is good for the mind, soul, and spirit.

So, here are some thoughts on Halloween as it exists in present day in American culture.

Let me say first, as an American I do not celebrate many holidays of other natios, mostly because they mean nothing to me; to American national heritage. Just as I would guess independence day isn't so well celebrated in England, the day the cardinals won the world series by the many teams they have beaten or the conquering of Ethiopia to Mussolini by the Ethiopians.

Hypothetically...
Let's say you are a Jew in Hitler's Germany. The Nazis have sworn to destroy you and your kind. Let's say each year they celebrate the day they enrolled the Hitler youth. Every year they celebrate this with dressing as Hitler youth with swastika badges and candy given to everyone. As a Jew who has watched the Nazis burn, cage and destroy your family and relatives, would you celebrate this day with them? It is just dressing up and enjoying candy; no harm done. But would you celebrate with your enemy? Would you celebrate separately from your enemy in a different fashion?

Christians, we are in a war. Let's not join in celebrating a day that centers on our enemy, seemingly devised by our enemy. A day Certainly not promoting the love and life of our king. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Instead celebrate our king everyday.

P.s. If you have any left over candy send it my way.

Advice about Drugs

2014-09-15T11:47:00.003-04:00

This I found posted by an ex-addict.

Favorite Movie List

2014-09-09T08:39:00.000-04:00

I used to keep a note card around my room when I was in high school and a little beyond. It carried a list of my favorite movies 1 through 20.

These are my new favorites until I find my old list and adjust it.

1. Unbreakable
2. Beyond Borders
3. Cyrano De Bergerac
4. Dark City
5. Surrogates
6. Indiana Jones Lost Ark
7. Indiana Jones Last Crusade
8. Star Wars Return of the Jedi
9. Batman (Micheal Keaton)
10. Star Wars Empire Strikes Back
11. Star Wars a New Hope

Well, these are the only ones I can think of right now. Will have to add to it later.

Social Media Oriented Society

2014-08-25T12:01:00.003-04:00

What does this tell you about "social media orientated" society?

Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball Video on YouTube had 19.3 million views in 24 hours.
Miley Cyrus's video to end youth homelessness video on YouTube had under 5,000 views in 24 hours.

Pay to Know

2014-08-11T10:12:00.001-04:00

http://pulse.infoneer.net/post/94429143207/there-is-something-distasteful-about-charging-by

Good article I did not write

2014-07-01T14:39:00.001-04:00

http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/why-homosexuality-is-not-like-other-sins

My Last Day

2014-06-24T13:30:00.000-04:00

For the past two years I have been working a part time job at Kmart (not Kmarts as some believe it to be called). It has been a neat experience working with people from some geographic, social economic, and areas of interest that I usually do not interact with. I have found that although many people are obnoxious, selfish, annoying, crude, and close minded; people are to be loved- i think maybe even liked. Sometimes it isn't enough to love people and act like you do not like them; to many being liked is just as important; being listened to, agreed with, empathized with, and struggling through some type of hardship together is how they view love.

Over these two years I have grown to like many of the people who are employed at Kmart. It gave me another perspective on people (my last experience in retail was in 1999). In honor of this perspective I am offering my Poetry book for free on Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday this week. Hopefully, someone will find something in there to relate to, to give them hope, and even help.

Get it at the link below.

Poems From a Helper

It saddens me

2014-06-12T14:52:00.003-04:00

Well, it is dark out and it is mid day. It is steadily raining and the roof near my window makes each drop have its own distinct splash. The darkness and rain are making a cool breeze pass through the window. My computer is playing a youtube playlist of Lydia (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6O9vPPDvbT0&index=10&list=PLMq1i7XtOvZ5E_yJx8nWHTZWCIx2KyIXK) ; and of course I am blogging.

Last night I had a dream, that I was mostly doing normal things: walking around the house, walking around outside, talking to the sheep and goats, Occasionally in my dream I would sit cross legged (what we used to refer to as Indian style). Except I wouldn't sit on the ground, in this particular dream, I sat cross legged to fly. It created a sense of lightness-like a floating sensation, obviously. But there was a greater sense; I was consciously choosing by a slight physical action, to defy the very forces of nature, the force of nature that holds each of us down at a specific rate; none of us float of our own will. In my dream, however I did. It was both very freeing and very empowering; not to mention fun.

Now at some point today, I realized that it was indeed just a dream. I had a sense, in the awake world, that I wasn't feeling particular free or empowered(of course I know in my head I am both); I was, in fact, in a store stocking shelves with candy when this realization hit me. It didn't particularly bring a happy feeling. It saddened me actually. While I was deep in thought, I stopped stocking for a moment and went to the bathroom. I flushed the silvery handle and water came into the bowl, and water came into the bowl, and water came into the bowl. Regardless of what I did to the handle or the other mechanisms, water came into the the bowl, onto the floor, and down into the drain in the floor. It was really a striking parallel to what I had just realized in my dream versus reality thought process.

I haven't quite shaken this feeling thought process, but the following quote I read today has helped.

"My blessing is this. I know a God who gives hope to the hopeless. I know a God who loves the unlovable. I know a God who comforts the sorrowful. And I know a God who has planted this same power within me. Within all of us."

Up on the google play store

2014-04-10T10:53:00.001-04:00

https://play.google.com/store/books/details?id=d7kiAgAAQBAJ

Another blog about legislating morality

2014-03-28T11:31:00.001-04:00

This blog has the title, keeping order in the midst of entropy.

Continually I notice people who have a post modern mindset (that is a mindset that has either not accepted that there is a constant set standard of right and wrong or that there is no set standard of right and wrong) commenting, dialoguing, making statements regarding how others view order in society and how it effects them and how they therefore view it themselves. I would suggest that this view is an effect of entropy at work in society or a global consciousness throughout the ages; that is how the world is precieved by those who have had their understanding darkened or who have not seen the light.
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Entropy is a scientific theory, that I do believe has been scientifically proven, that tells us that the universe, planet, and our own bodies are continuously breaking down to a state of disorder. Things rot, decay, rust and people die. My experiences in this world (like the apple core I found in my jeep) tell me that entropy is real an active. I would suggest also that (as some medical data may suggest) not only is physical entropy at work in a person, but also mental, emotional, and perhaps even moral.

I would suggest further that the same is true in social structures. They are trending toward disorder and chaos. Some examples ( that I do not have any specific empirical evidence about) are amount and of crimes, divorce rates, school dropout rates, acceptance of what used to be called disorders without looking for cures and government corruption.

We, as humans living in an organized society, have attempted to create structure in the form of laws (not mentioning social stimula) to curtail the effects of social entropy. Laws that govern such things as murder, stealing, littering (those are the important three) have been put in place by us to keep order in a society bent toward entropy. These laws help keep order in a world tending toward chaos, much like the rustoleum paint I put on my jeep keeps it from rusting (and about just as successfully). Without them the world would be in complete disarray except where the exception to entropy triumphs. The exception of entropy would be the instance where a force is able to bring order in the midst of chaos, or life in the midst of death. This force in our world is love, not in a general sense, but love in the person of Christ who though his act of dying and rising again has put into place an exception to entropy accessible to everyone who calls on the name of the Lord, believes in their heart and confesses with their mouth this truth.

In a world that tends to violence the believer can tend toward peace; where the world tends toward hatred the believer can give love; for death life; for sickness, health; for love of evil, love of righteousness; for depression, joy; for anger, gentleness; for mocking, encouraging; for giving up, steadfastness, for weakness, strength, for anxiety, patience; for cruelness and rudeness, kindness; for lack of commitment, faithfulness; selfishness, self control; for lies, trustworthiness; even for immorality, morality. These attitudes are not something that a believer must regulate themselves to pursue (though they might have to at first as the spirit is often willing but the flesh is weak). These are simply how a believer, who has the holy spirit of god living in them, will perceive the world verses entropy( or the sin nature if you would like that term).

I would simply say that without legislating morality a society is giving into social entropy. Immorality (though it may look like freedom, may not harm anyone, and may make a person feel good) is spiritual chaos; an undisciplined life that tends toward those elements that are anti-christ, per the list above: violence, death, sickness, hatred, evil, depression, anger, mocking, giving up, weakness, anxiety, cruelness, rudeness, lack of commitment, selfishness, lies, and immorality.

3 Blessed [are] the poor in spirit: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 4 Blessed [are] they that mourn: for they shall be comforted. 5 Blessed [are] the meek: for they shall inherit the earth. 6 Blessed [are] they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled. 7 Blessed [are] the merciful: for they shall obtain mercy. 8 Blessed [are] the pure in heart: for they shall see God. 9 Blessed [are] the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. 10 Blessed [are] they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. 11 Blessed are ye, when [men] shall revile you, and persecute [you], and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. 12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great [is] your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you. 13 Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? it is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. 14 Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. 15 Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. 16 Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven. [Mat 5:3-16 KJV]

It's time

2014-03-18T14:53:00.001-04:00

It is time for another blog,. I'm sure it will have something to do with people, changes, Christlikeness, maybe even technology.

Industrial Creativity

2014-01-29T12:00:00.002-05:00

This is perhaps my first attempt at incorporating artistic aspects into something that is truly practical; without a doubt the first project in my "IDEAS" notebook that I have completed with some sort of satisfaction for functionality and ascetics. Finally, after a year of on and off research and planning, I acquired the correct parts through items that were meant to be added to the ever growing landfills nearby. This is what I salvaged:

one computer power supply case
2 CPU heat sinks
2 aluminum pipes from a set of chimes
some random scrap copper wire
one 1.5 volt motor from a "broken" coffee stirrer
scrap metal strapping
one fan from a broken freezer

Putting them together I created this monstrosity.

I bought a peltier element that operates at 90 watts max and some thermal adhesive that passes a charge through it. Completing the setup as to ensure the peltier element would be protected and the wire connections secure...

The next step was simply to get the stove roaring. When the temperature of the stove passing through the heat sink into the peltier element reached a hot enough temperature using the Peltier-Seebeck effect the motor starts spinning the fan starts moving.

Heat activated stove fan 1.0 complete.

A Blog about fermented drinks

2014-01-10T16:05:00.001-05:00

I am planning on writing a blog about the use of fermented drinks soon; however, i feel that i should blog about current circumstances instead, and i am almost certain that this blog title (see above) will get more attention than something like "Felling blessed".

As some people know, and some people do not know, the location that we have had The Refuge at for the past 7 years is changing. Due to some pretty strange circumstances with the federal government and funding etc. we do not have the funds to maintain the lease at our current location.

I did feel compelled to call a Pastor friend of mine a few weeks before our actual closing date. i simply told him what happened and straight forwardly asked him- "would you be able to house the Refuge at your church location?" He said that would be great. It worked out very well, as they say it was all god.

Last night was our first night open at the new place. It really seems like a great community of believers; they say they are southern baptist. They seem like great people who want to help others, who genuinely care for others, even at their own expense.

I'm feeling blessed to be becoming part of this group of believers, and blessed to have a job, helping people.

God is good.