Cancer Nerd

Give Support to a Colon Cancer Patient

2008-12-08T09:46:00.005+00:00

I know it's been awhile since I've checked in with Cancer Nerd. Been quite busy with my MBA and a blog I have started with the women in my class, which you can check out here.

But today I write with something way more important. I received an email from a very good friend of mine, forwarded from a friend of hers. Please take a moment to read this and follow the link to Audra's Journey:

As most of you know one of my very best friends since the age of 9, Audra, has been diagnosed with Stage 4 Colon Cancer that has already metastasized to her liver. She is only 37 years old and after a long battle with infertility and losing her first son in-utero very late in the pregnancy she finally had Adam and Olivia her twins just 9 months ago.

Obviously, we are all devastated and shocked by this news, we are choosing to believe in the infinite possibilities and miracles!

I have started a website for her in which people can log on and read her story and journal entries. On this website you can also log onto her guestbook and send her a message of inspiration and support. Most of you know her but even if you do not please take the time to check in on this website occasionally and send her messages. Audra is a big believer in the power of thought and the more people who are sending love and light and energy the better for her healing and for her psyche to fight! I am begging that you do this for her. Lets make it a movement for her.

The website is www.caringbridge.org and her website name is: audrasjourney.When you get to the site it will say "visit a caring bridge website" this is where you enter, audrasjourney.

Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

Here is a direct link which should also work.

Please reach out and show your support to Audra today!

Be All You Can Be... in the Army of Women

2008-10-04T17:03:00.003+01:00

October is breast cancer awareness month in the USA, as I'm sure all of you know. It's almost impossible these days to not be bombarded by pink everywhere you go!

The success of the breast cancer awareness movement in the last 20 years or so has been truly remarkable and inspiring (if a little envy-inducing for those of us who advocate primarily for another type of cancer). Huge scientific progress has been made thanks to the hundreds of millions of dollars (if not more) that have been raised by various breast cancer organizations, like Susan G. Komen for the Cure and the Avon Foundation.

There is a new initiative on the breast cancer scene this year, and it's a revolutionary one! The Army of Women, a joint initiative of the Avon Foundation and the Dr. Susan Love Research Foundation, has set a goal of recruiting one MILLION healthy women to volunteer for breast cancer prevention research studies. The Army of Women launch was recently announced on the Today Show (click here to see!).

Leave it to women to take such an incredibly proactive approach in helping to eradicate this devastating disease. Very cool.

For more information, and to join the Army of Women, click here.

You go girls!

Cancer Takes a Hike

2008-09-28T11:15:00.005+01:00

I just heard about this amazing website through the Colon Cancer Alliance September e-newsletter.

The site is called Cancer Takes a Hike, and was started by a Stage IV colon cancer patient named Andrew Stevens. Stevens was diagnosed in 2005. As he says on the site, "I had tumors in my colon, liver, spleen, and on my right adrenal gland and was given just a few months to live. Now, even after four surgeries and almost 40 rounds of chemotherapy, I still have cancer. But due to the amazing care from my doctors and nurses and an outpouring of love and support from my wife, family, friends, and thoughts and prayers of many, I am closing in on the four year anniversary of my diagnosis."

In honor of this incredible milestone, Stevens is hiking 160 miles of the Appalachian Trail with his brother and a good friend.

Fairly mind-blowing, eh? I certainly think so!

In addition to raising awareness by attempting this arduous hike, Stevens is also raising funds for the Colon Cancer Alliance. To make a donation to the CCA in honor of Andrew Stevens and Cancer Takes a Hike, click here.

First Day of School

2008-09-22T08:00:00.001+01:00

I start my MBA program today. I have been anticipating the start of this degree for over two years, and now, today, it begins.

There are many things I have correctly anticipated about what this - my first day of school - would be like. I am wearing a suit. The day begins with coffee and a meet-and-greet. There will be formal introductions, a class portrait, a champagne reception (Yipee!). I will meet tons of new people and remember some of their names. I will meet my professors and try to not be intimidated, but I will be intimidated, and that's okay. I will finish the day exhausted but - I hope - exhilarated.

What I never could have imagined, and what will be with me all day long, is this:

My stepdad once studied at the university at which I am matriculating.

And:

Today is his birthday.

John did a summer science program here, and he was in nerd heaven (as I soon will be, though studying finance, not physics). He loved this place. He and my mom lived here that summer, and thereafter our house was adorned in university paraphernalia. Tea towels, mugs, plates, t-shirts, sweatshirts, scarves, baseball caps, winter hats, posters, calendars.

Now, all that paraphernalia (and all the new paraphernalia my mom and I have since added to the collection) takes on a new meaning, as this becomes my school, my future graduate alma mater.

The universe works in mysterious ways. I know that's a corny thing to say, but I believe it. And I will relish the connection I will feel to John, today and every day that I study here. I know he would have been bursting with pride and telling everyone within earshot that I am doing my MBA here, just like he did when I got a perfect score on my math SAT ten years ago.

I believe there is good karma all around me today, and I will absorb it as best I can.

Happy Birthday, John. Thank you for inspiring me to be the best student, and the best person, I can be.

SU2C Broadcast - Only One Kleenex Needed!

2008-09-12T09:50:00.002+01:00

Here it is.

My boyfriend and I watched the show last night on the biggest computer screen in our house. I have to say, even though it was a bit chaotic, with some celebs missing their marks (ahem, Ms. Dunst) and some camera flubs - overall I was incredibly impressed.

The content of the show was perfect in its balance of scientific information, celebrity involvement, and humor. I appreciated that within the science sections of the show, viewers were presented with groundbreaking reseach (hooray nanotechnology!) but also with basic facts ("Don't start smoking.") that Americans, unfortunately, still need to hear too urgently.

My favorite humorous part of the show was when Katie Couric and Charles Barkley talked about their colonoscopies. In a show that was so scripted (and necessarily so, I know) it was great to see Katie being her charming self, improvising a bit with Sir Charles. And who knew the "Round Mound of Rebound" (thank you, boyfriend, for coming up with that old nickname of his!) was so funny? He had more stage presence than a lot of the actors! Not to mention how great it is that he had his colonoscopy filmed in the first place. Bravo, Mr. Barkley. And thank you.

Yes, the tears flowed. I don't know how Halle Berry, Casey Affleck, Jen Garner and Forest Whitaker made it through their "Imagine" montage when they read out stories written by those affected by cancer in the most dramatic, tragic ways. And seeing Patrick Swayze - even though I knew he was opening the show - was really tough. He has thinned out so much. In my head I will always see him as Johnny, his beloved "Dirty Dancing" character - so seeing him looking so gaunt was tough for me. It reminded me a lot of my stepdad, too, which always knocks the wind out of the ol' tummy.

Anyway, I am thrilled that I finally got to watch the show, and even more thrilled that the show raised over $100 million! A drop in the bucket compared to what our country has spent on the Iraq war, and far from what is needed to truly CURE this disease - but it's a very, very good start.

Onward!

SU2C Full Stream Available Online!

2008-09-11T13:03:00.005+01:00

Good news!

Tara let me know that the FULL broadcast of "Stand Up to Cancer" is now available online! And unlike regular TV shows that are online in the States, I can actually watch this one from London! Which I will do tonight. Excellent.

The broadcast is available here.

Tara's blog also has some GREAT behind-the-scenes photos from the event! Click here to see them.

Thanks, Tara! And have a WONDERFUL wedding next week!

Cover Your Butt! And the Butts of Your Fellow Americans!

2008-09-09T14:39:00.004+01:00

I received an email today from C3, the Colorectal Cancer Coalition, with an urgent message and easy task.

Right now, there are three bills in Congress that - if passed - would cover screenings for three huge constituencies of Americans: the poor and underserved, the elderly and those with private insurance.

To sign the petition click here.

The three Acts are as follows:

HR 1738: The Colorectal Cancer Prevention, Early Detection, and Treatment Act will establish a program at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) to provide colorectal cancer screenings and treatment for low-income, uninsured and underinsured individuals who are not eligible for Medicare.
HR 1926/S 1164: The Colon Cancer Screen for Life Act will expand existing Medicare coverage of colorectal cancer screening to include pre-procedure visits and other reimbursements, minimizing the out-of-pocket expenses for our nation’s elderly.
HR 3060: The Colorectal Cancer Screening and Detection Coverage Act would require private health insurance plans to provide coverage for colorectal cancer. Plus, the bill will protect anyone from being denied a policy due to their need for colorectal cancer screening.

It takes about 10 seconds to sign the petition. In doing so, you are contributing to an effort to save lives.

On the C3 website, you can learn more about colon cancer advocacy initiatives. You can also send a letter to your local Congressmen encouraging them to support colorectal cancer screenings.

Stand Up to Cancer and Cover Your Butt!

Cranking Along the Cobblestones

2008-09-08T16:44:00.006+01:00

I live on a quaint little cobblestone street in the middle of bustling London.

This afternoon, on my way to the gym (yes, I am taking advantage of my lady of leisure lifestyle before heading back to school!), I locked my door and turned to head down our street. Ahead of me was an older man in a wheelchair. He was probably in his late 60s or early 70s and wearing the requisite senior ensemble of khaki cordouroy pants and a maroon sweater. His lap was full of shopping bags from earlier errands. He cranked his wheelchair along the cobblestones, paused a moment to look into a neighbor's construction site, and cranked some more.

I watched him as I approached. His arms grasped and pushed the wheels forward, a huge effort that advanced the chair just a pinch. As he and his chair bumped along, my heart sank for the poor man and his jerky journey down our street.

I walked up to him and said, "Sir? Can I help you navigate these cobblestones?"

He smiled and in a perfect English accent replied, "No, thank you my dear. That's very kind. But this is very good exercise!"

I chuckled, smiled back, and left to go get some exercise of my own - my heart full of admiration for this stranger and his wheelchair.

I can only hope to have such an attitude toward adversity as I age and life throws at me what it will. I hope that when I feel sorry for myself, or am struck down by life's latest challenge, I will remember this man, tottering in his wheelchair along our little cobblestone street, a wide smile across his face, enjoying the exercise.

Just Stand Up!

2008-09-04T14:31:00.005+01:00

Even though I won't be able to watch it from the UK (thank you, Uncle Bob, for recording it for me!) I have been following Stand Up to Cancer as the big day approaches and am very excited for the broadcast!

Yesterday I downloaded the new single "Just Stand Up," released on September 2 on iTunes. This song was recorded especially for the show and includes an absolutely stellar cast of female performers rockin' out with a great message to spread:

If the mind keeps thinking you’ve had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don’t give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what
Don’t give up
THROUGH IT ALL, JUST STAND UP!

Performers on the single include my personal fave these days, Leona Lewis, as well as Carrie Underwood, Mariah Carey, Fergie, Mary J. Blige, and many, many other superstars.

To be completely honest, the song is a little corny - but it's also catchy, and it's amazing that all these women came together to create it. You can listen to the single (and download it!) on iTunes here.

Also amazing? The celebrity lineup for the broadcast! LOOK: Casey Affleck, Jennifer Aniston, Christina Applegate, Lance Armstrong, Abigail Breslin, Josh Brolin, David Cook, Katie Couric, Dana Delany, Fran Drescher, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Kirsten Dunst, Elizabeth Edwards, Jon Favreau, America Ferrera, Charles Gibson, Neil Patrick Harris, Salma Hayek, Scarlett Johansson, Masi Oka, Danica Patrick, Christina Ricci, Robin Roberts, Homer Simpson, Marge Simpson, Meryl Streep, Hilary Swank, Charlize Theron, Goran Visnjic, Forest Whitaker, Brian Williams and Reese Witherspoon.

And apparently Brad Garrett is getting a live on-air prostate exam. Love it.

So please tune in! And let me know how it is!

The Grind Begins

2008-08-29T17:10:00.004+01:00

Sigh... I have known this post day would come.

I am writing to say that I will be posting less often from now on, because I need to start focusing on my MBA work. But I will definitely keep this blog up and running, and I look forward to the insights I will gain as an MBA student!

There is so much more to learn and there will never be enough time to learn it, but I look forward to continuing to chronicle what I do learn (and when I do learn it) here.

So - sigh. But! Yay!

Onward.

Quote for the Long Weekend

2008-08-20T18:22:00.000+01:00

We have come upon a holiday weekend here in the UK (yipee!) and my boyfriend and I are headed to Germany.

I won't be posting for a few days, so I will leave you all with one of my favorite quotes*. My mom and I discovered this morsel of wisdom and loveliness right around the first anniversary of my stepdad's death. We were in Sephora, walking by the philosophy section, when the Amazing Grace eau de toilette caught our eye.

A couple mornings ago, I realized that my Amazing Grace shampoo bottle has the same quote, and it's just as meaningful to me today as it was those years ago:

"how you climb up the mountain is just as important as how you get down the mountain. and so it is with life, which for many of us become one big gigantic test followed by one big gigantic lesson. in the end, it all comes down to one word. grace. it's how you accept winning and losing, good luck and bad luck, the darkness and the light."

Grace. Sometimes - many times - that really is all it takes.

Have a great weekend!

*By the way, for those of you grammar and spelling enthusiasts out there, I do know that I should be using the word "quotations" instead of "quotes" but I just like the short word better. Please take no offense.

Good News for Applegate

2008-08-19T14:59:00.003+01:00

Great news! Christina Applegate has been pronounced cancer-free after undergoing a double mastectomy. Wow.

I have read a lot about mastectomies and other breast cancer treatments, between Bathsheba's Breast and The Secret History of the War on Cancer (which I am slowly but surely plowing through, I promise!). Needless to say, the various surgeries have come a long way, as has a woman's right and ability to choose how far to go with her treatment. Applegate's mother is a long-term breast cancer survivor who had a recurrence many years after having a single mastectomy. So Applegate's attitude was to take no chances on a recurrence. As she says, "I just wanted to kind of be rid of this whole thing for me. This was the choice that I made, and it was a tough one."

I applaud Applegate's proactive approach to her treatment and I am thrilled that the outcome is freedom from cancer. She also says she will start raising money for cancer research (catch her appearance on SU2C!), MRIs (the test that saved her life), and gene testing (she has the breast cancer gene, BRCA1).

Perhaps best of all, Applegate is raising awareness about breast cancer and cancer in general by speaking out. The breast cancer movement has been able to move into mainstream consciousness thanks to fearless women like Applegate, who will talk about their breast cancer candidly and publicly. I hope survivors of other cancers that still have stigmas attached to them (HELLO! Aren't butts just as cute as breasts? Come on, colon cancer survivors! Put the word out there!) will follow the example of these incredible women.

Share your thoughts about Applegate's cancer journey in the comment section!

To read the complete ABC News article and watch the video of Applegate's interview, click here.

Leroy Sievers, 1955-2008

2008-08-16T15:05:00.005+01:00

Oh gosh. This is a sad one.

Header courtesy of NPR

Leroy Sievers, a well-known journalist, died last night. He was diagnosed with colon cancer in 2001, and passed away at the age of 53.

I have been following Leroy's cancer journey through his NPR blog, My Cancer. I must admit, I didn't read it as thoroughly as I could have - the parallels to my stepdad hit a little too close to home. But the blog is astonishing in its candor, and if you have the emotional energy for it, I greatly encourage you to read it.

Sievers began the blog in February 2006, when his cancer returned after first being treated four years earlier. What began as colon cancer had spread to his brain and lung. Sievers was told he had six months to live. Two and a half years later - this morning, at 7:59AM eastern time - came the post that began, "Dear Friends: I'm so sorry to bring you this news." And it wasn't written by Leroy.

Cancer never ceases to deal bad hands to good people, which, to me, is the most frustrating thing about it.

But instead, I try to focus on the silver lining: look at Sievers' legacy. Not only did he have an exceptional career as a journalist, but he has also left us his blog, My Cancer, the accomplishment of which he said he was most proud. This blog is tragic, but full of insight and even - way down deep in there, between the lines and beyond the pixels - hope.

What was to be Leroy's final post came on Thursday, August 14th. He titled it "The Dog We Never Had," and he wrote:

"He is the dog we never had.

He's a Bernese Mountain dog. A big one. We always knew what his name was going to be ...'Spanky' ... no matter what.

The fact that he would be a toy didn't really bother us. We couldn't have a real one because we both traveled too much.

So here he is, sitting with me on the bed. My comrade in cancer.

A boy and his dog."

To me, this post encapsulates the cancer journey. When my stepdad John was sick, especially in the final weeks and days of his life, we were all swirling in a sea of emotion. But even during that tumultuous time, I couldn't help but be fascinated by how the simplest things brought him joy. Like a child. This brilliant man, a physicist and an eternal academic, smiling like a boy in the final days of his life.

I remember thinking to myself at the time, "So this is the circle of life. It's not a cliche after all." Leroy Sievers' final post captures the same feeling. "A boy and his dog." Tragically, Leroy Sievers' circle, like John's, closed far too early. But how phenomenal that he let us all inside before it did.

For complete NPR coverage, click here.

I Stand For My Stepdad

2008-08-15T18:36:00.004+01:00

Here I am! (At about 2:08 - right after the french bulldogs - coincidentally, my favorite type of dog! That must be a sign of something, right?)

Wow. Can't say I don't have tears streaming down my face after that one. Hope you'll take a moment to watch it all the way through.

To learn more about this video, check out When Tara Met Blog and SU2C's Virtual Stand Up.

Cancer Quote Friday!

2008-08-15T17:52:00.002+01:00

As we greet (or, in my case, start to wrap up) another fabulous Friday, with brains fried by the week and flitting toward the weekend, it is my pleasure to offer someone else's wisdom for your consideration.

The following is an excerpt from an article in the Stand Up to Cancer online magazine about caregiving. The article is written by Ellen R. Silver, who is a nurse and also the mother of a long-term cancer survivor. The article is a great read! As a former caregiver, I feel like caregivers cannot hear these things enough...

"No matter what, the relationship must remain the same. If you are a parent, continue to parent. If you are a friend, continue to do the friend things you always did. If you are a co-worker, continue to work as a team. If you are a spouse, continue your marriage in the same way and manner.

The roles might be changing in the relationship--perhaps now the caregiver is taking the prominent role in some decision-making or taking on some additional duties – but the relationship must remain the same in your heart, in your style, in your approach. Changing the innate chemistry between you as the caregiver and the person with cancer will cause great harm to the relationship during the cancer experience and for years to come. So the most important tip is – be yourself!"

Word.

Have a great weekend!

Olympic Spirit when the Foe is Cancer

2008-08-15T15:01:00.003+01:00

I must admit I am totally distracted by the Olympics these days. Michael Phelps! Holy cow! I just can't get enough.

Of course, the one race I missed the other day featured one of the most determined and high-spirited athletes: Eric Shanteau. Eric competed in the 200m breast stroke semifinal and set a personal best time. But he came in 10th overall, with his time .013 seconds short of assuring him a spot in the final.

Now that Eric's participation in the Olympics is over, he has another foe to face: testicular cancer.

Holy crap. Are you kidding me? This 24-year-old swimmer, the 10th best in the world in breaststroke, has cancer?! And he competed with cancer?! As if competing against the greatest athletes in the world wasn't enough, to have to compete against cancer at the same time is just awful. Not to mention that his father was diagnosed with lung cancer last summer, so his family has been coping with one traumatic diagnosis already. But Eric says that his father wanted to see him compete. And so he did. Eric's determination to realize his lifelong Olympic dream in the face of his cancer, I think, captures the Olympic spirit like few other athletes can.

But of course there is a debate. Should he have delayed treatment to go to the Olympics? Surely this time has compromised his health, when he could have been operated on immediately and been recovering by now. What is any dream worth if the price is your health, and possibly your life?

Fortunately, Eric's doctors monitored him and did not see the need for immediate care, which Eric says he would have done if it was necessary. Now that the Olympics are over for him, he will be able to focus on his health and hopefully kick his cancer. I support him - with a little relief that he didn't make that final - and I plan to follow his progress throughout his treatment and recovery.

Check out Eric on the CBS Evening News:

"The road to my Olympic dream has, you know, gone over many mountains." An understatement if there ever was one. Sending good karma your way, Eric.

Open Letter: Is It Appropriate?

2008-08-12T10:22:00.003+01:00

Breast cancer survivor Suzanne Somers has written an open letter to Christina Applegate, published on People.com. I'm a little dubious about this, as "Thighmaster" Somers clearly likes media attention... but she's a cancer survivor, she's been married for 31 years, and she has built a multi-million dollar empire in addition to her decades-long career as a television actress, so I suppose I can't knock her too badly. Plus, there are some good, positive thoughts here:

Dear Christina,

Cancer is scary, and lonely. You can't ask anyone to make decisions for you because it's just too heavy. There is a lot of 'rush to treatment,' when what you really need is time to research and think about how you want to approach this. Take your time Christina, there is no rush. Take your time and think it through. Use your cancer to learn and grow and as a force to work for you. You might choose to take an alternative approach. There are more options than the ones presented to you in the oncologist's office. You will make it. The success and drive you have had in your career will be the same strengths you will use to win over this nasty disease. And I am here if you want to talk to someone who was 'there.'

Sincerely,
Suzanne Somers

A nice gesture, I guess. But is this really appropriate, or is it just to get a little press? I am going to choose to believe that it's a kind, genuine gesture meant to give support from a breast cancer survivor to a newly diagnosed patient. Perhaps this letter will give hope to others as well. So... okay.

Now back to the Olympics!

Cancer Quote Friday!

2008-08-08T11:21:00.003+01:00

As we greet another fabulous Friday, with brains fried by the week and flitting toward the weekend, it is my pleasure to offer someone else's wisdom for your consideration.

"There are no villains in this story in the old-fashioned sense. If anything, we are all victims of the pressures created by a disease that won't wait for answers. We eagerly turn to technologies we hope will work, and by the time we learn that they may not, we are too committed to change course... The fact is oncology is a business, as well as the grounds for trying to keep people from dying of cancer. Sometimes, its business side stands in the way of its larger, more noble goals."
- Devra Davis, The Secret History of the War on Cancer

I have been ploughing through this book since April (yikes!) but am determined to finish it soon! More on this amazing book next week... Have a great weekend!

Cancer Nerd Kudos to Applegate

2008-08-07T20:38:00.004+01:00

I was so sad to hear of Christina Applegate's breast cancer diagnosis. The announcement came only five days after another, more positive cancer-related announcement: her participation in the Stand Up to Cancer telecast on September 5. But perhaps the best news of all is that Applegate still plans to participate in the show.

Phew! That was a lot of links there.

I have always loved Christina Applegate. I never really got into "Married With Children" but I always thought she was beautiful, and I was always impressed that she never fell prey to the perils of Hollywood fame. She just seems very down-to-earth. And she is genuinely talented! They don't show "Samantha Who?" here in the UK but it looks supercute and I'm happy she's had this re-boost to her career.

I'm happier, of course, that her diagnosis is an early and positive one, and that she is expected to make a full recovery. And I'm really glad that she will still appear on the SU2C telethon. She will be getting a lot more attention than she would have otherwise, so kudos to her for having the courage to stand as a survivor mere weeks after her diagnosis.

You go girl!

Check this out!

2008-08-05T15:29:00.003+01:00

The lovely ladies over at Young Working Women have posted an interview with me! Check it out if you want to learn a little more about me (and see a sneak peek of the photo I sent into SU2C for the montage).

And if you are a young working woman (even if you're between jobs, like me!) I urge you to join this supportive and fabulous group.

It's Never Too Early to Advocate, Apparently

2008-08-05T08:23:00.004+01:00

Uy. It's way too early here to be awake and functioning, especially for those of us who are currently funemployed (read: taking a hiatus from work and not back in school quite yet). Alas, I was woken up at 7:30 this morning by the recycling truck, of all things. Only in this quaint lil' ol' country would the garbage men be up and at 'em by dawn. Uy yuy yuy.

But anyway, once I failed at my attempt to sleep in, the www came calling, and I stumbled upon a really great blog: Cancer is Boring, written by Brad O'Brien, a lymphoma survivor (multiple times over) in San Francisco. I love his candid, open, fearless attitude. Brad exemplifies survivorship and advocacy. I hope you will take a moment to check out his blog! I know I will keep reading.

Even though Brad and I don't know each other, we have one thing in common - we were both invited by Tara Settembre, a PR gal and cancer survivor herself, to send photos showing why we stand up against cancer. The photos will be used in a montage on the September 5 airing of Stand Up To Cancer. I will post my photos closer to the air date, so you can keep your eyes peeled for me...

Meanwhile, check out Tara's fabulous blog. She has quite the life out in LA!

I have added both Brad's and Tara's blogs to my new blogroll. If you know of any other great blogs by cancer survivors and advocates, please let me know!

Cancer Quote Fri - uh, Saturday!

2008-08-02T08:15:00.006+01:00

Ok, so it's not Friday, but it is in the early morning hours of Saturday here in London - and the very wee hours in the States - so here goes.

I just uploaded my photos from my recent trip to the Midwest, and couldn't wait to share this quote from the Richard & Annette Bloch Cancer Survivors Plaza in Chicago. It is on the first of a series of bronze plaques that surround the plaza entrance.

The plaque reads:

"Cancer is the uncontrolled growth of cells. It is the most feared disease in America, because it is not understood, even though it is not the largest killer. If we understood cancer, we would not be as afraid of it. It is estimated that the average individual has a wildly dividing cell six times a day. The immune system recognizes this, kills it, and we never know the difference. When the immune system lets down, even temporarily, and these dividing cells get established to the point that the immune system cannot control them, we have cancer."

Upon further Googling, it turns out that Richard and Annette Bloch have named a number of these cancer survivor parks all over the USA. Richard Bloch, co-founder of H&R Block, was a lung cancer survivor (!!!) who died of heart failure in 2004 at the age of 78. After being declared cancer free, he and his wife Annette dedicated their lives to helping people with cancer. The R.A. Bloch Cancer Foundation website has some good information; a free e-book for cancer supporters; links to cancer articles and programs; and more. This is an incredibly positive site, clearly reflecting the attitude of its founder.

Ooh, heartwarming stuff! I love it! A great way to start a weekend.

Couric, Curds and Cancer

2008-07-30T18:09:00.004+01:00

I was working out in the dinky, musty gym at my mom's apartment complex this morning - much-needed exercise considering the fact that spending time here in the land of cheese curds and bratwurst does not exactly do wonders for my diet - with an old guy on a stationary bike who was watching "The View" on the gym's lone television. Lo and behold, Katie Couric was the first guest! She was there to talk about Stand Up To Cancer. Hooray!

Okay so I just have to say, first and foremost, that it was so great to see Katie on morning television again. As much as I want her to succeed on the CBS Evening News, because she is truly trying to break a barrier being a female anchor in that time slot and I respect that, she really belongs on morning television. Sigh. Well anyway -

Okay I also have to admit that I only caught her about mid-way through her interview, so I didn't get to hear the whole thing but I'm sure it will be posted on YouTube or the SU2C website later today. But anyway -

It just made me happy. Katie talked about the Constellation campaign, where you can name a star for a cancer survivor for just $1. She talked about some other aspects of the program that weren't news to me, but I was delighted to see her this morning.

What is news? In case you haven't heard, there is a stellar line-up being formed for the TV special. In addition to co-hosts Katie Couric, Charles Gibson and Brian Williams, there will be a ton of other great celebs in attendance. Check it: Casey Affleck, Dana Delany, America Ferrera, Danica Patrick, Charlize Theron, Jennifer Aniston, Sally Field, Christina Ricci, Goran Visnjic, Christina Applegate, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Forest Whitaker, Kirsten Dunst, Neil Patrick Harris, Homer and Marge Simpson (love that they are included in the press release!), Josh Brolin, Salma Hayek, David Cook (whose brother is battling brain cancer), Elle Fanning, Scarlett Johansson, Meryl Streep, Jon Favreau, Masi Oka, and Hilary Swank. Phew! The line-up also includes celebrity cancer survivors Fran Drescher, Robin Roberts, Lance Armstrong, and Elizabeth Edwards.

I'm sure they will have many more celebrities join these ranks, and I can't wait to see this list continue to grow.

Good stuff all around! Now back to my cheese curds...

A Dear John Letter

2008-07-29T01:51:00.008+01:00

Dear John,

Four years ago today, we had a really sucky day, didn’t we.

Surreally sucky, in fact. I got mom’s call around 6:00am – the dreaded call that I somehow knew was coming that morning. I rolled out of bed, crawling into my teal Gap hoodie that I’ve had since high school – a sweatshirt in July seems crazy I know, but I needed the comfort – and headed to the hospital. I got there, and Mom was there, and you were there. But you weren’t really. Your body was, but you’d already peaced out. So to speak.

But I won’t dwell on that day. Because today is a better 24th of July. We’re still sad, Mom and I. We still had tears in our eyes as we headed to the outlet mall this morning, talking about how you would want us to be bargain-hunting today. Not that we needed anything at the outlets – we’re just trying to distract ourselves. And that’s okay.

The air is thick with you today. And that’s okay too.

At the Coach outlet, Mom treated herself to a good lookin’ signature tote bag – first quality, not the crap they’re making for the outlets these days – with purple patent leather trim. The saleslady who helped us was named Hannah. We took that as a sign that you were with us.

Wherever you are – and I do believe that you are still somewhere in this universe, in some capacity – I hope you are happy, and at peace. I hope you have retained your passion and your intellect and your integrity and your quirks (well, most of them anyway).

I hope you know how much we love you, and will always love you.

From Michigan, then, where Mom is finding much-deserved happiness – though I’m sure that’s not news to you,

Love,
Jennifer

Anniversary Week

2008-07-27T17:41:00.003+01:00

Hello from the great state of Michigan!

I am now the proud recipient of a student visa (woohoo!) and am spending a few more days with my mom, trying my best to cheer on the Cubs, eat brats, and get blizzards at the DQ - all cherished American pastimes, at least to me - until I return to London next week.

As for this week, it's a big one for me and my mom. A big, sad one. This is the John Anniversary Week. He and my mom were married (after 18 years of domestic partnership) on July 21 and he died a week later, on July 28. Tomorrow marks the 4th anniversary of his death - and just typing that makes my heart beat a little faster and sends nervous warmth from my heart through my chest down through my arms to my fingertips.

Mom and I got through the wedding anniversary okay. We distracted ourselves by driving to Chicago since my visa appointment was the next day. Tomorrow, for the other anniversary, we will be going outlet shopping, one of our family traditions. Really, our most celebrated family tradition.

John instilled in us a passion for bargain-hunting. He used to tear through the "last chance rack" at the Land's End outlet in Schaumburg, Illinois for dress shirts he could wear to work. For only $5 each, he found dozens of crisp, new Oxford shirts that he wore with a jacket and tie to teach at a boys' school on the Upper East Side of New York City. What landed these nice, clean shirts on the "last chance rack"? These were the shirts that others had had monogrammed with their initials, and then returned to Land's End for whatever reason. Except for the embroidered letters, they were in perfect condition.

Who would want a shirt with someone else's monogram? Well, for 5 bucks and a few laughs, John did. And his students loved him for it. Every day, the boys would file into his classroom and peel back his jacket to reveal the monogram of the day. They never tired of the routine, because the initials were always different. After years of devoted outlet shopping, John had amassed a vast collection of impressively diverse initials. He even found a couple shirts with his own initials - JMH - on them! (Though the boys didn't think those were as funny.)

My mom and I visited the Land's End outlet in Schaumburg when we were in town a few days ago. We scoured the store, finally finding the "last chance rack" buried in with the women's clearance. The dinky rack held only two monogrammed robes (which is somehow a lot less amusing than shirts to me), a hot pink down vest (waaay out of season, that), a pair of jeans that looked like they were made in 1982, and a pair of elastic-waist pants that my grandmother would love. No crisp dress shirts bearing the initials of people we would never know, or, coincidentally, of people we did. No once-in-a-lifetime bargain of a butter yellow short-sleeved polo shirt with "JMH" tastefully embroidered on the chest.

"I guess things change," my mom said.

I guess they must, at some point. And that's okay.