CandidCarol

Of Kashmir & Its Kings

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Fri, 22 Oct 2010 14:07:00 +0000

I'm weilding the pen after a long hiatus. Thanks to a rejuvenating vacation in the misty mountains of Kashmir!A holiday does wonders to one's mundane & rountine life. A break is needed in a year to relax, de-stress & spend quality time with your family.

I don't have to wax eloquent on Kashmir as we all know that it is one of the most beautiful places on earth. A paradise in a nutshell with it's snow-capped, towering mountains, flowing rivers, assorted Cedar (deodar) & Pine trees, dense vegetation, winding roads, bountiful flora, lovely lakes & it's stunning landscape. I was most excited about seeing & feeling rivers Sindh & Jhelum. What joy it is to experience the things we grew up learning; and both these rivers have always been an integral part of India's geography & history.

Hospitality & kindness of Kashmiri's is another thing that fascinated me. Everyone from the drivers, guides to hotel staff went out of their way to make us feel at home. Hearing it straight from a corporate's mouth - it is excellent customer service & boundaryless behaviour. However, it would be unjust to measure their genuine feelings & emotions towards us in pure coporate terms. So kind was one of our guides, he says " if we don't serve you well, God will deal with us later on".After living in a metro & experiencing an out-an-out corporate life, such words are like honey. A corporate life is seeped only in numbers, struggles, saving one's own backs, being discreet, politics, planning, agenda, targets/goals. God & such kindness go out of the window. I have been talking corporate as I'm it's employee. But this stands true in all walks of life : state government, central government, teaching, education, media and so on. We all know that there is barely any kindness left on earth & we give a damn. So I was smitten completely by their compassion & innocence.

Thinking of innocence makes me want to talk about the more teething issues plaguing Kashmir. This international, unresolved bone of contention stands in stark contrast to it's localites.While there are parties trying to overthrow each other to lay hands on power,there are innocent people who derive their livelihood from tourisim in the valley. And every sort of battle in this place hits their bread & butter immensely. We were one of the very first batches who dared to hit the valley after 4 months of turbulent predicament in Kashmir. The pain of having no livelihood for months evinced in their eyes. Having said that, they have no hope that things will get any better there irrespective of an Omar Abudullah or a Barack Obama who will soon be visiting Kashmir to resolve the issue.

The central goverment cannot let go of CRPF (Central Reserved Police Force ) to guard this sensitive & terrorist prone area. And the locals loathe the latter because they apparently misuse power. One of our own guides have narrated incidents where the CRPF has misused power & persecuted the locals. In our heydays (college life), us girls had the hots for Omar Abdullah as he was the proverbial foreign returned, handsome, smart & enterprising youth ready to govern Kashmir. But in between the lines, there is a twist in the tale. Both the CM's of Kashmir Omar & his father Farooq Abdullah being the rulers, have been away from Kashmir most of the time. Apparently one of the locals was telling me that Omar Abdullah cannot even speak Kashmiri. Can you like beat that? And the moment you take the CM's names, the former wear disgruntled looks on their faces. So when the CM does this to one's state,it does become spoilt.

I couldn't even empathise but felt very bad for them. I'm only hoping, wishing & praying good luck & justice to Kashmir & it's people.

I Don't Want A Separate Telangana!

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 15:58:00 +0000

A hectic and tedious week came to a screeching halt this weekend. I planned to have a blast: lunch with friends on Saturday; ‘Carol Sunday’ at church and socializing with relatives on Sunday.

After a lazy morning and crisp Dosa’s for breakfast, I was all set to leave home. Stopped by the petrol bunk and fuelled my car with 10 litres of petrol and was set to head for IMAX. All hell broke loose when my mom called and asked me to return home ASAP.
“It’s the TRS again causing some disturbance in ameerpet and panjagutta”. I heeded to her advice and was driving past the Liberty Circle, Himayat nagar lane. The Bandh backdrop in the city came alive again – Malls, Restaurants, Factory outlets shutters closed to a half; a wee bit of panic across people’s faces; media photographers taking pix of traffic jams; bikes and scooters carrying Telangana supporters shouting “Jai Telangana” slogans. This sounds so much like the Vandemataram and Quit India movement I read in my history books.

The freedom movements in history made sense. Today, the world has progressed in leaps and bounds. Countries are not only free but are also embracing globalization, diverse and cosmopolitan culture where you allow every culture to exist and evolve while accepting and appreciating it. To put it succinctly, asking for a separate Telangana appears to be an anomaly in today’s post modern world. I’m a pucca Telangana but I don’t want a separate Telangana! It made sense in 1960’s & 70’s when people from Telangana region were averse to Andhraites migrating to the city, buying lands and depriving them of job opportunities. Andhra Pradesh state was newly formed and these were some of the teething issues plaguing the Telangana folks then. I have no clue what good it holds in today’s modern context. And what is worse is resorting to violence – pelting stones at common man, breaking window panes of private cars and spawning commotion for no good reason.

Its just heights of madness and lunacy I say. If they don’t have better things to do, we do have! And the culmination of this drama is immolating oneself. Need I say more?

Of A Great Leader I Knew...

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sun, 06 Sep 2009 16:04:00 +0000

When I was studying in tenth standard at Rosary Convent, precisely 7 years back, I came to know of this man - Dr. YS Rajasekhara Reddy, who I fondly grew to like over the course of time through one of my bosom friend who is related to him. YSR (as he is lovingly addressed by everyone) was not even in power but was the front runner in the congress party at Hyderabad. In 2003, while TDP was in power and Mr. Naidu was content with christening Cyberabad, YSR was making a difference in the lives of the poor farmers, the oppressed and downtrodden. He was the heart beat of farmers and a visionary who could fore see that the heart of AP lies with the farmers, and he devised plans to uplift them after the spade work that he did in the form of his Padayatra. He walked about 1500 km on foot and understood their needs and requirements. He became one among them and stooped to see, hear and comprehend their concerns. And it
was certainly not an eye wash but people could see the love that he shared and he won their hearts!

In 2004, he trounced over TDP and made a clean sweep. He and his party delivered on the promises made to the people and were voted back to power in the recent 2009 elections, and YSR was thus sworn in as CM of AP for the second consecutive term. From giving free power to the farmers, to housing schemes, from selling rice at Rs 2 for the poor at a time when it was actually sold at an exorbitant Rs 32, to 3 % interest loans for women, developing irrigation, providing employment opportunities, giving away crores to students fees, pension facilities to women self help groups, health and making the famous Rajiv Gandhi 108 ambulance service effective; I must say the clichéd line - you name it! A striking aspect of this ambulance service is that, in the event of an accident, one needs to dial 108 and the ambulance will rush to the spot in 2 mins. It’s also equipped with oxygen cylinders and first aid to stabilise the victim till they reached hospital. It did save the lives of many, including that of my brother when he met with a fatal accident. He also empowered women through many of his initiatives and made Sabita Indira Reddy, the home minister for this present term - she is the first woman home minister AP has witnessed.

I remember the days when my friend and I would appeal to people we met - at tuition, in our neighborhood to vote for him and bring him to power. It was a canvassing of sorts. What fun days they were and we rejoiced when he was voted to power in 2004. For the 2009 elections, my friend was in US but the loyalties still continued. All of us who voted for him and his party did not change our minds as the decision was strongly rooted in us way back when we were teens.

So it was earth shattering for all of us to hear the news of his untimely demise in a chopper crash and kind of a jest but unfortunately it was a harsh reality that came in as a rude shock. The entire state came to a stand still. Lakhs of people turned up to pay their homage. Traffic was hauled up for hours, the police faced a challenge of stopping the crowd - there was utter chaos and commotion. None of us has expected that it would all end like this. People who couldn't go, like us were glued to the TV sets and the entertainment channels were stanched for 2 days until the funeral was over. We all wept and felt like there was a death in our families. This is the kind of love he garnered. Arbitrarily 120 people died after hearing the news of his death - many died of shock while few committed suicide. I know it just does not make sense but it was a personal loss for all of us. My friend couldn't return from US for his funeral, but her dad could make it. If she was here, I would go too.

I have only read about such leaders in my history books but he is the only benevolent leader I have seen and witnessed in recent times. I could see Christ in him, he was so Christ like in the love that he shared, in caring for the poor and needy, his simplicity (the dhoti he wore though he loved wearing western, to be nearer to the Aam Admi or the common man and be one among them) and humility. YSR - We love you and miss you!! R.I.P.

Gorgeous Gangtok

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 12:40:00 +0000

These days, I often wonder how I used to manage to produce good posts despite college and work eating into my schedule and leaving me with very little time for my blog. Now, college is completed and it’s just work, work and work; and yet I barely find time to write posts.

So, it’s been a week since I’m back from vacation and joined work. How I wish the vacation was forever :) This Vacation, we (my family) explored North East India and sojourned at Gangtok and Darjeeling apart from Kolkata, Delhi, Mathura and Agra. In my memory, Gangtok is one place that stands out from the rest. We alighted at Bagdogra and had to travel 4 hours on road to Gangtok. It’s ostensibly a hilly area and capital of the state Sikkim, which connotes – “Valley of Hills”. Hence, as the roads cannot be seamless, like in our cities, they snake up through the hills. And apparently all roads have sharp bends and curves. What is striking is how the drivers drive up these hills. It’s literally an uphill task for them and they drive the SUV’s with such aplomb. Initially, until I got used to those roads, it was scary as a little lapse on the driver’s part and the vehicle will be swerved into the pit and you can be rest assured : forget your body, your bones also cannot be figured out.

Its only SUV’s that can go up the hill and within the precincts of Gangtok, Maruti Omni’s are driven to ferry the tourists. Those who are used to, also drive Bikes, though it could prove to be detrimental and fatal. What struck me were the catchy sentences the Sikkim Government inscribes on the walls and sign boards to warn and remind bikers and drivers to be safe. Some of these include: Sleep, and your family will weep; drive like hell and you shall be there; don’t mix drinking and driving et al.

The beauty of this place is simply inexplicable. One will be at a loss for words, like I’am. At Gangtok, you are in the lap of nature – It is 6, 000 ft high from sea level. Beset by clouds, greenery (the trees display every shade of green); wondrous waterfalls; Quaint dwellings interspersed in these hills; sweeping up and down the mountainous realm is an experience of a kind. Perennial water flows from these hills and the elusive thing about this water is - no one knows where this water comes from. To put it succinctly, this place is a paradise on earth.Gangtok shines though the sun does not shine here.

As few people, cities and states play a cog in the wheel of saving our environment, Sikkim government has banned the use of plastic as it jeopardises the environment. It was strange to carry stuff I shopped for in newspapers along the stretch of MG Marg as against the plastic bags we are so used to. But it felt really good to know that a state has gone that extra mile to make a difference and given the sparse population, its a piece of cake to implement. While we do it voluntarily here, people do not have a choice there! I just loved that concept and wish bigger states like ours also implemented the same. However, when we still have ills like poverty, pollution, population and unnemployment to tackle, implementing something for the sake of mother earth and making it a behaviour and a mandate appears bleak and miles away...

Places of interests: Ban Jhankri Falls, Palchen Choeling Institute, Do Drul Chorten, Pal Zurmang Kagyu Monastery, Tashi View point, Handicrafts, MG marg for shopping and Flower exhibition.

Looking for some fun and serenity from this frazzled world? – Head to Gangtok!

An Ideal Father

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sat, 27 Jun 2009 12:10:00 +0000

Picture 1 – This is my Hero (My papa of course) and this is how he looked in his heydays. It’s one of the pix taken from my parents wedding album.

Picture 2 – 25 years down the line, this is how he looks: Tanned, wrinkled, partially bald, the moustache is lopped a little – the many signs of his descent into senility.

This father’s day (21 June 2009), I was mighty happy to celebrate it with my papa and the rest of the family (mom and bro) on a Sunday. It goes without saying that fathers and daughters share a very special relationship. A relationship that is probably non-defining and certainly unconditional. And this is precisely the relationship that I share with a person who is very dear and important in my life – My Father.

Besides his full time Job, my papa was also a cricketer who played matches for his department (Posts & Telegraphs). Cricket was his first love and he relinquished it after I was born. He was always there whenever I needed him – Be it for my first dance show in school when I was 4 years, the driving license test or when I needed him to drop me to my MA class on time. A disciplinarian who believes in character to comfort and puts values and virtues on a pedestal. Paradoxically he is also a doting father who fulfills my every dream and wish and quite lenient. In my circle of friends, moms were liberal and dads were much stricter; but at my home, it was vice versa.

Today the concept of a ‘hands on dad’ is getting head on but my papa was always one. He would always make it to all events and occasions and whenever he couldn’t due to his work, he would feel guilty. I could never fathom the mystery as to why boys are drawn to their mothers and girls to their dads. I’m aware of the Oedipus complex expounded by Sigmund Freud. But I don’t concur with Freud. It’s something else.

Being the only daughter and just one younger sibling, I lap up all the attention from him. To me, he is the best and an ideal father, who corrects, comforts, instructs and provides for the needs of his children.

Writers are Rebels and So Am I!

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sat, 06 Jun 2009 17:14:00 +0000

As a literature student, now, an MA in English, I dissect a writer’s life, works and therefore his/her oeuvre. It is tacit and goes without saying that every writer is a rebel for a reason and perhaps a cause. Writing is an effective channel of expression and every writer expends it as a vent to convey and communicate his/ her thoughts, feelings, opinions and perceptions.

One such writer who thrived in prolific confessional poetry is Kamala Das. Her poems were prescribed for our fourth/final semester exams: “An Introduction” and the “Old Play House”. What inspired me to write this post is the news of her death; she passed away early this week. Both the poems are poignant as they portray the raging conflict between her opinions and those around her. She wrote in times when women were beginning to enter the portals of schools and universities. Das tells in her poem “An Introduction” that people (could be her parents, extended families, neighbours etc) around her, asked her to refrain from writing in English and said “don’t sit on the wall, don’t peep through window, be Amy, be madhvikutty (she is a malayali and that’s her pet name)”. This is precisely how girls are conditioned and silenced. She confesses how growing up was an unpleasant experience for her as it added to her insecurity. She broke the stereotype and revolted by cutting her hair and wearing her brother’s clothes.

Irrespective of a girl or a boy, we all do find ourselves at loggerheads with our parents and the world at some point in time. Most often than not, one can feel the heat when points of view do not match, when you feel a proclivity to some norm fabricated by your parents or the world around you. I’m born to orthodox and conservative parents and there is a lag of about 30 years between my parents and me. So, one can understand the intricacy here, though, I believe that it’s a boon to have seasoned parents; as they have seen the world more than you have! They admitted me into the best educational institutions: Rosary Convent, St Francis and Osmania University College of Arts and Social Sciences and ironically didn’t expect me to be opinionated and make my own choices. “Minu (my pet name) don’t laugh loudly, don’t wear this, don’t talk like that”; was the rhetoric doled out to me. I’m neither hesitant nor apologetic to say that I was a rebel when I was in my teens and often couldn’t see eye-to-eye with my parents on most matters. I took a bold stance and candidly confessed that I will live life on my own terms and will not let anybody live my life. Things gradually changed and today I make my own choices, opinionated, bask in my freedom and live life on my own terms, and my folks, are happy and proud of who I’m.

At college, we as a batch both in Francis Junior and degree college rebelled against the dress code: salwar kameez; and retorted by wearing casuals. Some other rules charted by the college wouldn’t make any sense. In junior college, we assiduously created a chart, wrote few catchy, pejorative sentences and pinned them up on our notice board. We never revealed our identity though and had the principal guessing if it was the Sciences, Maths or Arts group. She was such a pain in the neck. However, most conjectured, it could be us, as the sciences and maths group will not have ample time and the guts to manipulate. It is college damn it and let us be as we are! While pursuing MA, the entire class forayed into rebelling. College days were so much fun! I wish I could turn the clock and go back in time. Those beautiful moments today, have become most cherished and sweet memories and will remain green in our minds.

Shakespeare, the romantic poets: Keats, Wordsworth, William Blake; Elizabeth Barrett Browning were all rebels who produced finest pieces in literature. Though they were a host of them, I put only few names coz this post is only getting longer. So folks, feel free to add other writers who you think were rebels of their times.

The Night Of The Underdog

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Mon, 25 May 2009 06:11:00 +0000

Johannesburg was the place to be at, for every Hyderabadi last night. Deccan Chargers, that remained an underdog in IPL Season 1, rocked IPL Season 2 with grace, poise and spirit of Hyderabad. That spirit of survival is euphemistically called the spirit of Hyderabad.

This match kept me awake till 12: 30 am and I slept, before the chargers were crowned because I needed to catch up for my driving class next morning. I was happy with the fact that DC meted out a crushing defeat to the Royal Challengers. Challengers began the match on a good note by lifting a good number of wickets: Adam Gilchrist, Andrew Symonds among others. Eventually, DC turned the tables on RC by their sheer prowess, astuteness and spirit. The match, however, kept the audience (esp. DC Supporters) on tenterhooks till the last 1 ball. A sense of triumph and pride was captured on every player’s face, against the background score of “Go Chargers Go”; every time a wicket was lifted. And gracing it, were the DC Cheer Leaders lending the oomph factor! Both the teams were quite aggressive on the field, as if it were the last match of their lives! Why not? In every Endeavour, one must give their 100 %. Ohja from DC lifted 3 prominent wickets. One could see his lips saying ‘fuck’ when he took the wickets and in another moment, he was caught giving a series of lengthy kisses in the air. The camera, in those last tense moments was switched on an off at Venkatram Reddy, Owner of DC and Vijay Mallya, Owner of RC.

There was some verbal sparring on Facebook too between Bangloreans and Hyderabadi’s. At my place, we could hear and see crackers going off in haze filled horizons. The gust of wind, rain and bloody power cut played spoilsport but that didn’t deter us from staying awake. Now that’s what we call the madness of Indian Premier League (IPL). While Akon staged a spectacular performance, Katrina Kaifs swivel to the tunes of ‘Jai Ho’, made the feeling of victory stonger and sweeter. IPL T20 was a nightmarish experience for every bowler, but IPL Season 2 revolutionized that perception.

A Jubilant Jai Ho!

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sun, 17 May 2009 09:36:00 +0000

As India waited with bated breath for the poll results yesterday, Congress made a clean sweep and headway! The people of India once again invested the reigns and empowered Congress to rule India.

I’m delighted and elated too, like everybody who voted for congress. A double vote catapulted into a double win. I’m glad the party emerged a clear winner at the centre and the state. From scathing attacks, to scandals, to controversies and attempts to tarnish the image of the party; congress has survived it all! A contended Sonia Gandhi and Manmohan Singh peep out of the FrontPage photograph of every newspaper across the length and breadth of India. A picture of poise and composure, they did not indulge in any negative comments about any party. Even Rahul Gandhi had kind words for L.K Advani. ‘Respect’ for Advani pervaded his views on how he (Advani) has fared in the elections. This boils down to us and our friends too. We also feel a polarization of views, opinions and perceptions with acquaintances. However, it’s all about respect. Each of us has freedom to our own opinion. Therefore, I strongly believe that though we agree to disagree with other person, we must hold respect to their opinion.

Congress has come up with some brilliant manifesto. I enclosed the manifesto below. Please read through and let’s hope and pray that the government delivers on its promises:

1. Enactment of a National Food Security Act; 25 kilos of wheat or rice for Rs 3 a month to those below poverty line.

2. Maximum possible security to each and every citizen.

3. Highest level of defence preparedness and further steps for the welfare of the defence forces and their families.

4. Accelerated process of police reforms.

5. Increase in the daily wage paid under the NREGA from Rs 80 to Rs 100.

6. Health security for all.

7. Comprehensive social security to those at special risk.

8. Quality education affordable to everyone.

9. Nationwide skill development programme.

10. Expansion of schemes for improving the well-being of farmers.

11. Democratic and professional functioning of cooperatives.

12. Greater impetus to empowerment of weaker sections of society.

13. Control of communalism and caste atrocities.

14. Sharp focus on the special needs of children, especially the girl child.

15. Making elected panchayat institutions financially strong.

16. Connecting all villages to a broadband network in three years.

17. Special focus to small entrepreneurs and to small and medium enterprises.

18. Maintenance of high growth with fiscal prudence and low inflation.

19. Introduction of goods and services tax from April 1, 2010.

20. A completely new look to urban governance.

21. A new deal to our youth to participate in governance.

22. Protection of India's natural environment and steps to rejuvenate it.

23. Massive renewal of science and technology infrastructure.

24. Judicial reforms to cut delays in courts.

25. To continue to be sensitive to regional aspirations.

26. Energy security for the country.

27. Steps to preserve and promote our heritage.

28. To continue independent, pro-India foreign policy.

29. To intensify the involvement of overseas Indians in development.

PS: It’s been 13 days since I joined the driving school and now I’m driving it on my own. It’s not as hard as I envisaged it to be! Yet, I need to practice and turn confident and get habituated to the nuances of the roads :-) Its fun though!

Grievances Galore

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Mon, 11 May 2009 04:47:00 +0000

Things are turning awful and awry for the people of Hyderabad, with frequent power cuts, the Bolakpur contaminated water deaths, Fire at Secretariat and so on. As it is, Congress is accused of umpteen fallacies and is meted out destructive criticism and the spawning of the above events only made matters worse.

Who is to be blamed? Is it right to blame the government or the concerned authorities of the respective departments who are showing slack in fixing things faster? I’m averse to power cuts because that means waste of time for me. No Power cut, No productivity. A person is left with nothing to do absolutely. I wonder how people lived in days when electricity was not invented. I can’t work because my Laptop will be running out of battery, the same with T.V, Cell phone and PC. I don’t mind climbing 5 floors to my apartment as I’m a fitness freak. But definitely not when I just return from work at 10 pm and have the 3kg Laptop to carry. Last Monday I had to wait for an hour downstairs until the power was on. The newspapers and TV read that it’s because the underground cable has been soiled and need to be fixed; and people have to put up with it for about a week. It’s a day more than week and the power cuts are still frequent. The hours are odd and random and range between 4 to 6 hours a day. I wonder how long it takes to fix it. People smugly acquiesce the fact that government bodies are slack and take it in their stride but it’s high time the government must ask these authorities to beef up their ‘speed-of-fixing’ things. I wonder if it really takes a week to fix it.

The recent contaminated water deaths in Bolakpur found its place under the genre of tragedy. I cannot even quote the numbers because neither the government nor the press is willing to give the precise numbers. It’s a strategy the government and press use to report things. They always cut off a ‘zero’ is what my mam told us when we were studying civics in intermediate. A noted local newspaper pegged the death toll at ‘6’ when there were about 20 to 30 who died and around 300 who were injured. It’s only after a certain number of deaths, do the authorities wake up to it. This is sheer delinquency on the respective authority’s part. The histrionics and drama of experts from water and nutrition department unravel now, very much after the deaths. And as ever, it’s always the poor who are hit tremendously. Apparently they can’t demand accountability from the government because of their illiteracy and poverty. One can comprehend their plight, when they drink water despite its foul smell and change in the colour from colorless to tones of orange and red. The laxity of the authorities: the drinking water pipe got concocted with the sewage pipe.

A fire broke out in secretariat last Wednesday. Instead of rationalizing the reasons that led to it, the opposition parties say it is the conspiracy of congress to gut some files and save their asses. The fire actually broke out on account of a short circuit in a computer cable. The next day, the newspaper reads no attempts to gut the files. What rot? Can somebody elucidate what’s happening?

The grievances of the commoner just seem to be perpetual; from power cuts, to open manholes, to grave deaths that can be averted by driving down delinquency, to badly constructed fly overs that leads to its eventual collapse and so on. Instead, of correcting these defects, the government and all parties are in haste to cash in only votes, votes and votes!

MA Madness

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sun, 10 May 2009 14:40:00 +0000

I was feeling really weird and eerie on the last day of my final MA exam. We all were giving our 5th and final paper: Modern Classics in translation. Anyway, coming to the weird part of it, instead of being happy - is definitely because I knew our stint with 2 years of MA is over.

So what? This is always what we wanted! All throughout the course of 4 semesters, I hankered for MA to finish. Each day, I remember, for the sake of not missing the enriching lectures, I did attend classes whenever I could. It was not only difficult but sometimes pathetic for me to attend , toting the 3 kg Laptop (includes the cable also and a novel) hanging on my right side and my big handbag hanging on my left side that contained a Tiffin, a book, a pen, my wallet some essentials needed to freshen up once I reached office, post college. It was hell doing it everyday and for 5 days consecutively. Though we had holiday on a second Saturday, I would still bunk college on every Saturday. A self-declared holiday influenced very much by my corporate lifestyle: working only 5 days a week.

Our Rendezvous with MA and our professors was certainly an uplifting, rewarding and enriching experience- something that we will cherish all our lives. MA gave me so much! How much? It made us better persons, honed our life skills, I must say, opened the window to the world and how it works, a doorway to knowledge, empowerment of sorts, It certainly added to my courage and audacity, it moulded our perspectives, views, opinions; to question and react to things, doing what you want to do rather than being compelled by people and circumstances and the list will go on and on…

We always feel happy when we are on the precipice of accomplishing various phases of our academic life: schooling, intermediate, graduation and PG. I have felt happy at the end of every phase, but this one! The reason is that at the end of every phase I knew what I will take up next. It was very much decided. Now, I was apprehensive as to what next? Where will I be heading? and yes, this insecurity, though I’m working and positioned well, in the field of my choice. Marriage is definitely not on the cards anywhere in the near future. Not at least when I’m so young. I need options man. Got to make something of my life! I do have some plans though of either pursuing higher studies or switch from corporate life to some other field. I will let you folks know when the time is opportune!

As of now, I’m sure all my classmates and friends are going through the MA hangover. I’m doing both: the hangover and work (it’s been a week since I joined). We wake up and realize that, things that have been so much a part of our life, are not now anymore. I’m talking about things intrinsic to MA: the rushed affairs in the mornings to make it to college by 10 am , but ending up there by 10 30 or eleven am; the internal 10 marks assessments, the semester exams, mind boggling lectures, the fun and much more!

PS: The photograph in this post is one taken during one of the photo sessions, during out last days of MA. One can see my classmates standing with our professors. I couldn’t make it coz of office :-(

Love, Loathe and Lessons

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Wed, 15 Apr 2009 17:13:00 +0000

As I sit here (my room) in isolation, reminiscing the two rapt years spent in MA, English Lit; I also ruminate on whats to love, loathe and lessons learnt well in MA. I spoke about love and loathe, about Arts College in my very first post: Best of both Worlds. So let me put that for you in not more than a nutshell. Colleges best are- the remarkable professors, some of whom are touted to be the best in India. Whats to hate? The mass populace and the management without a scruple.

Let me delineate and count the hailstorm of lessons that I learnt and made note of; not only in books but also my brains.

1.Each of us has spilt personalities or possess Schizophrenia. We like and hate the same thing: We love our country but we also wait in long queues for visas to go abroad.
2.Moulin Rouge- Not the movie starring Nicole Kidman, the place in Paris still exists today and fraught with pimps and whores who practice more of kinky sex than normal sex.
3.We were always conditioned by history to remember India’s independence and overlook the partition. It was shocking to know the whopping statistics: More than 5 million were killed and 4 million Sikhs lost homes. As against the misconception that it was done on agreement by Mahatma Gandhi, partition was done at the instance of the British.
4.Women who were estranged and displaced from their families during partition were not welcomed and accepted when they returned for the most obvious reason that they could have strayed from their values and lost their chastity, which, I feel, is ridiculous!
5.Written literature is considered to be the best literatures but African writers like Wole Soyinka, Chinua Achebe proved that oral literature is equally stimulating and are a great piece de resistance in literature.
6.Indian Aesthetics believe that every time you see a piece of art, it must evoke a 'Rasa' or emotion in you.
7.The character ‘Krishna’ in Hindu mythology is a blue black God, as in, that was his colour. One of my Professors Meera Manvi, who is also the Dean of our Arts College, had told us that almost all Hindu Goddesses like Lakshmi, Parvati etc are black and yet revered. So why is India obsessed with fair skin? This has infiltrated into the Indian matrimony. Why every matrimonial alliance reads ‘fair’ in wanted requirements? I’m not making this statement because I’m super dark but Meera mam actually made us ponder on these lines.Which I think is absolutely true! She further said Indians are dark skinned people and thus labeled so by the West and why can’t Indians stop imitating the West?
8.The distinction between European and Indian Art is that European art imitates the picture while Indian Art represents the idea that reminds you of the picture.
9.Shakespeare’s plays were always written to be enacted and staged rather than to be read.
10.According to Sigmund Freud whose theories are considered to be the Bible of Psychology, Human mind is made of conscious, unconscious and sub-conscious mind. The sub-conscious side occupies the major part of brain and apparently all the dark desires emerge from the sub-conscious mind. Interesting! Isn’t that?
11.Orientalists have a fixed and a biased view about the East. This statement tells you that the Orient referred to countries of the east. Oriental literature was used as a strategy to conquer colonies and like we have read and learnt, western colonies were successful in their attempts and efforts.
12.We often think and believe that Leaders of any kind, especially, political figures are flawless. They are put on a pedestal and worshipped, but what we forget is that, they are mere mortals just like us and possess aberrations. If we believe they are larger-than-life, they ARE! The moment you are practical about them and accept their flaws, you know they are NOT. In the novel, “Kongis Harvest”, the author, Soyinka uses the method of ‘De-flation’ to puncture the image the of the Leader in that novel.
13.Michel Foucault, a famous New Historian said that “Madness is a sociological character and not just a clinical term.
14.A noted American writer said that those without DREAMS should PERISH. That’s one reason why Americans today, still believe in the Great American Dream their founders or 13 “Pilgrim Fathers” had set for them. Those who heard Obama’s dream speech will know what I’m talking about.
14.The first 3 or trimoorthy Indian writers who set trends for the later Indian writers are- Raja Rao, R.K Narayan and Mulk Raj Anand.
15.Salman Rushdie’s “Midnights Children” won Booker prize thrice and it also includes Readers choice of ‘Booker’ of ‘Booker Winners’.

I know it’s a long post but neither am I apologetic nor hesitant about the same because I know it’s worth the read. This is all I can recall, will spill more beans after I finish writing my 4th and Final Semester exams that I will be taking in a few days time.

For my MA Classmates (including me), who are reluctant to study for exams during this scorching summer, hope this post will be of some motivation :-)

Blogs are a contesting space. So jibes, comments, arguments and contradictory statements are more than welcome!

VDay : Until the Violence Stops!

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sat, 28 Mar 2009 11:26:00 +0000

VDay apparently is not only another hue of feminism but also the dead end of feminism. A survey conducted by a feminist writer depicts that girl students cannot buy the word ‘feminism’ as it implies hating men and indulging in male-bashing which is grossly ERRONEOUS. Feminism in reality connotes ‘equality of sexes’ and ‘empowerment of women’. VDay is the new entrant into the world of phenomenon that seeks to create a safe and peaceful environment for women over the world.

The concept of VDay is inspired by Eve Enslers play “Vagina Monologues” that hit the famous Broadway theatre in the late 90s to showcase violence suffered by women across the world. In India the play has already been staged twice and now it made a comeback with VDay 2009, to stop assault against women. The play is directed by Mahabano Mody Kotwal of ‘Kumars at Number 42’ fame. That’s how I know her. I first watched her in that comedy soap opera on Star World, when I was in higher secondary. It was a witty show with wry humor. Sadly, it’s not on air anymore. I wish she made a comeback with that show as well. Eve Ensler spoke to about 200 women across the world and wrote this play, that portrays violence on women in the 90s. The very title of the play has shock value and one ponders why it had been named so? Vagina comes into play in most of the experiences of a woman’s life. It could be love, sex, menstruation, birth, orgasm or simply a physical aspect of the body.

As you can see, it is a monologue and not a dialogue. A monologue is when a person speaks to oneself. The other characters in the play cannot hear the initiated character but the audience can. It is a monologue because society compels a woman to push these experiences under the carpet, stuff meant to be locked in a closet and not to be uttered aloud! As a literature student, I’m drawn and inclined to theatre because Drama is a literary genre. People often confuse Shakespeare to a writer or novelist but he is first a playwright and all his plays were written to be performed and staged. Drama is a powerful tool: a voice for change and a call to action. Every monologue in the play is associated with Vagina. I have not watched the play but as a literature enthusiast read the same. One monologue goes “my vagina was my village”, which chronicles the witnesses of women put in rape camps, in Bosnia. The play keeps adding new monologues every year with more and more women being upfront and outspoken about the violence meted out to them.

‘Progressive’, is the apt word in todays global context; with the coming of age of science and technology but unfortunately violence against women never stops. There are stray instances of a Swapna who died of acid attack recently, of Rehanna, the popstar who was beaten black and blue by her boyfriend, of a school girl molested by a bus conductor and nevertheless the Mangalore pub attack on women. They might be strangers but they are bounded by a common thread of violence. Why? Because they are the fairer sex and can be taken for granted? Its time we say enough is enough and make the elusive goal of eve emancipation a reality!

The Elusive Elections

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 17:04:00 +0000

Democracy is the best thing that can happen to any country. Liberty, equality, fraternity are the ideals synonymous with democracy; and right to freedom of speech, right to religion, right to equality, right against exploitation, cultural and educational rights and right to constitutional remedies are the basic fundamental rights of any citizen in India; and yet these rights are denied to a greater populace in India. Democracy, I must say is taken for granted in India when there are countries like Pakistan, Cuba, Russia and African countries writhing in pain to break away from totalitarian models of government.

Today, the words ‘elections’ and ‘political parties’ carry the connotations of corruption, criminalization, communalism, casteism etc. The very thought of it, puts one off. This could be one reason why the common citizen trivializes elections. I believe and say that this is one reason why you should NOT be sleeping or showing slack during elections. Its time, we citizens condemn these ills of democracy and vote for an unbiased party that believes in the well being of all, irrespective of class, caste, sex and race. Most political parties today employ tools to entice people. What I hate is the fact that parties promise TV, Cycles, Laptops and sundry to poor people. Apparently, the rural, illiterate masses in India fall in to the snare laid by these parties. Illiteracy and poverty should not become fodder for exploitation. Political parties should work for the upliftment of the down trodden communities like introducing some schemes and incentives for poor farmers, weaving and textile industries rather than making false promises of offering luxuries. A common trend noticed in the latent opposition parties is destructive criticism. Parties should engage in constructive criticism and not destructive criticism. The recent comments made about Congress by praja rajyam founder Chiranjeevi. I saw this clip on TV 9 (Telugu news channel) where he is shown donning a Muslim cap and squatting among the Muslim community only to make flay congress by saying “what did Rajasekhar Reddy, the present CM of AP, do for Muslims?” He is not only indulging in destructive criticism but also inciting that community against a party for no damn reason!I agree that he is legendary actor, a mega star but politics is definitely not his cup of tea.

India needs a great leaders, visionaries and luminaries like Obama but certainly not Actors who have no clue and cue on the dynamics of politics. What is most annoying is when a Partys propaganda is based on religion. A recent specimen of this is the indictment of Varun Gandhi on his impugned and inflammatory statements that could lead to polarization between communities. He allegedly said: "If somebody lifts a hand against Hindus, or thinks they are weak, there is nobody behind them, then I swear on the (Bhagvad) Gita that I will cut off that hand." He needs to be sent to class VI standard where every one is taught in social studies that India is a secular country. It is neither irreligious nor anti-religious and Hinduism definitely is not a state religion though majority is Hindus. Another common phenomenon that is unique in Indian politics/elections is contesting of candidates with criminal charge sheets. Political parties should not field candidates with a criminal background. LK Advani has a charge sheet against him in the criminal conspiracy of the demolition of Babri Masjid. I fail to understand as to why is he contesting elections? and this happens only in India that is very flippant about democracy. We all should stand against criminalization of politics!
There is no point showing laxity and taking a holiday on Election Day. We must do our spade work, like we do our prep and prepare for studies or work. Find out about the candidate contesting for your constituency and vote for an able leader who will lead India to success. As it is only us who can make and break a government, we must use the power invested in us to vote for change! I have my voters ID, in the course of doing my spadework and will be all set to vote in the coming elections! Will You?

Aired on NDTV and Carried Away to Hindu!

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 14:08:00 +0000

Yes, you folks read it right. This is possible right when I’m working in a different industry. Media holds power, glamour, fame, name, defame and I can go on and on. I love media as it is diverse, throws mind boggling challenges at you and offers a prodigious visibility.

I have had a rewarding exposure to media through out my education from schooling to present. At school, writing workshops is what I loved the most. I wouldn’t write as copiously as I do today but wrote a paragraph or two that appeared in Hindus "fun at school" section. In college, it was News time, Enadus English newspaper, published my short story “jack and the bean bag”. No sooner I thought nothing happened in MA, when our journalism professor took us to Hindu Press to make us relate to what we were being taught in printing, scanning, computer-to-plate, machines, 4 basic colors used in printing a newspaper and so on. I usually cannot make it to any college Programmes because of work. However, I was able to make it despite having a global video conference at office, as Hindu press is just 100 meters away from my office.

It was an uphill task to strike a balance as press event was from 4 to 5 pm IST and office event from 6 to 7 pm IST. I could have forgone the press event but thought I might never get a chance again and this was my first time. So I couldn’t resist. This global event at office is a huge affair and it was my duty to ensure a smooth execution at our site. The only saving grace was that, these two events were not clashing on my calendar and I turned it to my advantage. I was back in one hour and the office event was also a success.

I had a pre-conceived notion about Hindu before stepping into the press; an impressive notion it was. Hindu is my favorite newspaper as its vocabulary and writing styles of authors captivate me. The language is simply mind blowing. I don’t just read it but study it and pick up things. The printing press of Hindu was equally captivating. Hindu has sophisticated, state-of-the art machines imported from Taiwan and Japan. This one specific machine that prints newspapers prints a whopping 75,000 copies per hour and the one in Chennai prints 90, 000 copies per hour. One of its employees who works in the technical side took us through the various stages of printing and explained the same. Our visit was marked by larger-than-life machines and the enormous, rattling noise it produced. When we were at the major printing machine, we could barely hear what he explained. It was for the most part stimulating and exhilarating. Even the packaging is not done manually, it is segregated, counted and parceled by the machine, making it prêt and ready for the newspaper boy to pick it up and deliver it at our homes.

I stumbled upon on a chance to voice my opinion on NDTV 24*7 when it had come to Arts College, OU, seeking the youths opinion on elections. I was apprehensive when I heard the news but later forayed and participated. Uma Sudhir, NDTVs Hyderabad correspondent questioned us on our opinion on polls, voting, separate telangana issue and political parties. We ensconced ourselves on the steps inside college, where all the action took place.It was apt for the cameraman too. The next day, on March 20th 2009, the programme was aired at 8:15 am on breakfast news. I was very excited to see myself on an International News channel. I had messaged all my friends the preceding day and the next morning, there was frenzy at home. Mom, bro, papa and my maid who was sweeping the house were glued to the TV for that 15 minute programme.

It might be a microdot on our profiles but something we definitely fawn and flaunt. After all who does not like to be caught on an international news channel? These are some of my lifes most enriching and rewarding experiences.

Outside, Office Offers...

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sat, 21 Mar 2009 13:49:00 +0000

I will pay a tribute to the scholar who coined the proverb “All work and no play makes jack a dull boy”. The thought of it elicits rejuvenation. Play here especially in today’s context implies a break, refreshments and anything that de-stresses you from studies or work and is not confined to games and sports alone.

When I was in school, most of my classmates got into a scramble, to score highest ranks in EAMCET (for engineers and btechs) and IIT. It was shoved down their throat by their parents on some; some competed with each other by joining the top notch institutes that offered coaching, often in rival institutes; some were brainwashed into pursuing it, by their parents of course and some just gave into to its madness. School was a sorry state-of-affairs from bulky portion, to 6-7 subjects, to emphasis on marks rather than joys of learning and yes to accept theories without questioning and reacting to it. Life is much more fulfilling now than it was when I was in school. With each passing grade, it only got better as I gave myself a choice and chose a subject of my interest, explored and exploited it and reached where I wanted to be.

From time immemorial, while schooling, getting good marks was a life and death issue. Not anymore. I’m most chilled out during my MA exams now. I wonder how I even scored an average of 70% in graduation. I don’t recall studying something. When I gave my MA entrance exam, I haven’t prepared one bit and the day before the exam I was working; and yet scored 28th rank. My BA in English literature did help. So I was a good listener at college and followed what our lecturers taught and imparted. Now in MA, I respond profusely on lessons imparted to us. I ask my professors a hundred questions. They say they appreciate a responsive class and we all are! How am I balancing it all?BREAK, a great stress buster we often consider superfluous and overlook. At school, college, exams, lectures, TV shows, movies et al. all we need is a break and utter give-me-a-break responses. One break I should talk about is office. It offers some spice and entertainment. Read how…

The stretch outside our office is dotted with stalls and bandiwallas who sell fast food, mirchis, bajjis, chaat, paani puri, tea and coconut water. They solely exist for our office employees who come and replenish themselves by indulging their taste buds. For the sellers, it certainly is a great source of income and for us it is fun and respite from work.For me, it is a good walk too as I have to walk 30 feet to have coconut water. I binge only on chat. Earlier I used to go out frequently during an intermission. For about 6 months I had stopped eating outside as I was busy with exams and sundry. Six months is a pretty long time and a sea of change occurred. These stalls that were 100 meters away before are now placed 5 feet far from our office entry gate. I was happy to find that atleast the sellers haven’t changed. But their food items definitely did. A lady who sells some great mirchis is still there. I often used to have mirchis at her stall way back then. The other day when I ventured out after a hiatus, I asked her for one plate mirchi. She laughed at me and said it’s been six months since we have stopped selling it. It was then that I realized I haven’t been out for a long time.

A sight that makes me furious and repugnant is to find our office men smoking, from new joinees to VPs. Despite imposing a ban on cigarette smoking, people are still confounded about public domains or may be they know and yet they commit offence. Men preen while they smoke.9 out of 10 times the cops turn a blind eye to this offence. Why not? The cops themselves smoke in public places. Some men might not smoke but are very good at indulging in lechery. Some women enjoy the attention, some fools are absolutely clueless that men are flirting with them and some encourage these philanderers by going out with them. And I just loathe and abhor such men. If such a thing happens with me, I never shut up. I give them left, right and centre and question them in their shameless faces. There have been instances where I had bashed and slapped men. Not office folks hitherto but yes at bus stop, cinema hall, shopping etc.

Evil does play its insidious part. There is good and evil everywhere and I just sift the good from evil. Thus I go out, have fun, socialize and de-stress myself during a break.

Fecund, Feminine and Fabulous

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 11:29:00 +0000

Today is Holi and alas I got an off on weekday after ages I guess. I have already written two posts and aspire to finish this one too. The very title of the post indicates it’s got something to do with qualities that characterize women or about women. Apparently when will women’s concerns end? When will they stop crying for rights? How long will women need idols to look up to and set trends for them? Feminists, chauvinists, you, me and sundry seem to have a laundry list of questions such as these. These questions do not need a brainstorming answer. The answer is rather simple-women’s concerns will end when society will become an equitable one and not characterized by patriarchy, when it stops to blame women for everything and when men will look upon their spouses as their equals and share responsibilities.

This womens day, lets look at the new age woman- where does she stand today and what did she achieve? On womens day, the first few from whom I received wishes and compliments for being a woman were men. One of them was my MA classmate and another was my colleague who sent a text message saying “you make us proud”. I felt the winds of change have certainly hit men. Today if women are successful and pioneers, it’s because the credit goes to men also. They have become profusely acceptable of women and the unseen, unheard, women-barely-entered spaces women foray into. They no longer say- it is not viable for women but believe in our potential and extend their unrelenting support to us.

Women like chanda kochar (joint deputy manger and to be CEO of ICICI), Indira Nooyi (CEO of PepsiCo), Ekta Kapoor, Kiran Mazumdar and the umpteen successful women in the corporate world busted the myth of glass-ceiling. A woman VP in our organization said that it is self inflicted. Our organization believes in gender diversity and I will vouch for it, as I personally never suffered a gender bias. My acumen is definitely valued over my gender. Most of us lose opportunities by merely imagining obstacles. This mindset of women in corporate world and any other male bastion should change. However issues like unequal pay and harder work, lack of negotiating skills leave women vulnerable. Issues like these should be tackled before they could grow into problems. Both the organization and employees should mutually work at it.

One of my aunt works as a lecturer in South Africa and ostensibly there are lesser crimes against women compared to any other region in the world. Gandhi’s idea of freedom holds true to that country as women can walk on the roads at midnight sans apprehensions of being attacked, assaulted, molested and teased. I salute her husband who has no qualms about her working so far away from him. She is lucky to have a husband who respects her stance and lets her pursue a career and thus satisfy her creative urges. Today any woman who is a globe trotterer is no longer seen as an adventuress but a woman of spirit.

A smut on the achievements of women is gender cleansing. The ratio in India stands at 927 women per 1000 men. Sex determination test is a punishable offence but is still carried in some places especially rural India. More awareness has to be created and this should be averted. We must accept that rural women have different paradigms of life from urban women.

Nevertheless, the new age woman scripts her own success stories, enters into a workable marriage of her choice where there is honesty, intimacy and space to make decisions. She flaunts her assets with the same panache as she flaunts her sexuality. She wants a career for her creative outlets and for economic self sufficiency and carved an identity for herself that is no longer defined by domesticity or relationships but comes across as a person with a strong sense of self and self worth. Might I add she wins battles with masculine skills.

PS: The new woman, like me, also blogs to voice her angst, express outrage and disapproval, fulfill the need for acceptance and approval and to speak out. We seek treasure and pleasure!

Conversations and Observations in 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 11:18:00 +0000

You all will more than concur with me that time is moving in the blink of an eye. Having said that, 2009 opened to a string of significant happenings and events. No sooner were we reeling under the terrorist attack, we found talibanisation of women in Bangalore. I’m afraid it might happen in Hyderabad though Hyderabad is a symbol of freedom and showcases a cosmopolitan attitude.

Jaago Re India campaign has started creating awareness in 2008 and is leaving no stone unturned to make people of India to vote and choose their leader. This phenomenon is here to stay. While Jaago Re takes pot shots at you on its site by saying “so you decided to finally wake up”, the brainchild behind the Jaago Re campaign also woke up finally to wake the country up. I believe and stand up for this noble cause because jingoistic fervour for nation is not just chanting slogans like mera bharat mahan, ye mera India, mother India, proud to be an India, occasionally twice in a year on republic day and independence day or for that matter fawning over India at the recent Oscars for slumdogMillionaire. It’s very much about being aware of your right to vote and use the power invested in you to vote for change rather than be a mute spectator.

I exercised my first vote in the recent state MLA elections. I voted for the leader I wanted to lead our constituency and that leader emerged victorious. I was satisfied and happy that my vote contributed to that leader’s victory. The same happened for Indian Idol. My brother and I voted for Saurabhee, India’s first woman idol in the last five minutes and we made her win. Of course in such reality shows you can vote innumerable times, whereas in elections, where you vote for the government of your choice, your single vote will make a world of difference; unlike reality shows it will not get diluted.

I solicit and urge each one of you to exercise your vote and make democracy work for you. Do vote for a party that is unbiased and not prejudiced to a religion but a party that is secular. I will NOT vote for a party that rides roughshod over minorities like the recent attacks against Christians in Orissa and Bangalore; and a party that stands for talibanisation of women and try to sap our autonomy and independence ; and a party that concocts religion with politics and politics with religion. Religion and politics should be sequestered.

News channels are crying hoarse as to how terrorism has not spared the cricketers and one channel puts it “there is an uncanny resemblance between the attacks in Lahore and Mumbai. When the gunmen have not spared innocent people, why will their plans exclude the cricketers is what I fail to understand. How can it be a bizarre similarity when it is crystal clear that the same gunmen shot the cricketers too.

On the other side, we have Lalit Modi, chairman of IPL who is adamant to hold IPL inspite of elections and the security issues. He is in no mood to compromise with the dates or postpone the same. Whether the IPL will kick off and how far will the dates not clash with election is one that we have to wait and watch.

As far as movies are concerned, 2009 has in store for us a bouquet of some assorted, formulaic movies. I watched some good ones like Arundathi (Telugu), slumdog millionaire, Delhi 6 and pink panther 2 hitherto.

So much has happened in a span of 3 months and we are catching up with the pace too.
I wonder what the rest of the year holds for us. Touchwood!

Back with a Bang!

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Wed, 11 Mar 2009 11:03:00 +0000

The other day, I met a colleague of mine after a long time in the office restroom and asked her the ostensible question, “Hows life?” “Life is uncertain”, she quipped and I couldn’t agree more with her.

When I say “back with a bang”, I’m not only back from a 3 months hiatus from blogging,but also from a setback in my family and thus life. Each one of us loathes setbacks and tries hard to erase them out of our memory’s labyrinth. However, we forget that it is these setbacks that teach us valuable lessons and life skills. I look upon setbacks in my life as milestones: significant points of development in ones life. From an understanding and awareness of our own strengths, weaknesses and potential, to seeing a different side to us, to sifting the wheat from the chaff; as in telling fair and honest people from the black sheep (people who put on facades) and so on.

It was a lazy afternoon on Jan 2nd 2009, a day after ushering in 2009 with all pomp and splendor; Christmas and new-year hangover was still running high. I was on leave and trying to get a quick siesta at 3 pm. I was making the most of my break from college and work. My eyelid were heavy and was falling asleep but was intercepted by phone calls from office and friends. The day turned awry and continued so for about a week. My dear brother, who suddenly became dearest, met with a fatal accident, when he fell off from Hunk (bike), while returning home from college. He survived benign head injuries, broke his arm and battled for his life, for about two days at Yashoda (hospital), Secunderabad. The day he didn’t return home, the house was wearing a deafening silence. I was upset and restless. On the day of the accident, when he was being flitted in and out of CT Scans, tests and X-rays, a ventilator was manned and maneuvered in tandem. A little lapse and it could cost his life. He was lying unconscious and at that moment we yearned to see him awake. Today, 2 months down the line, he is not only alive and awake but also enthusiastic of his newfound life. We had lost and found him. He was discharged within a week and the ordeal was over as we did not throw up our hands in despair. The two sustaining human resources: faith in God and hope prevailed and brought him back.

Even now, as I pen down this post at 10:40 pm, we are waiting for him to return from his brief outing with friends. He is hale, healthy and all set to give his final year graduate exams and the three of us are back to our routine regimen.

The key takeaways are-
i)Reinforcement of the fact that family comes first and is above the other priorities of life.
Love for my brother has grown tenfold today. He is the first person for whom I have wept for two days and nights.
ii)I value and honor my parents much more than I used to before. We take our parents for granted and often holler at them. We think it is our birth right to do so. Now, I do not howl and scream anymore when I don’t get my way (I often do). I try to see sense in their counsel.
iii)The rapport and bond as a family only fortified.
iv)My faith in God is now seamless and boundary less.

I owe my gratitude to and pray for my extended families, cousins and friends who stood by us like a rock and prayed for my brother. It was indeed a great beginning to ring in the New Year!

Tryst with Terror

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 17:21:00 +0000

Mumbai, the commercial city of India is currently reeling under the after math of history’s worst terror attacks. The city was under siege by gun-toting murderers, well-trained terrorists loaded with arms and ammunition: grenades, pistols, AK 47. 6 with 8 to 9 magazines, explosives etc. Any country’s worst nightmare has come true.

Mumbai has suddenly captured the minds and imagination of the world. It became international news and followed up closely across countries. The world has expressed solidarity with Mumbai and we Indians, grieved along with Mumbai and partook in its moments of grief. I was engaged with my Semester-III exams, had oodles of portion to finish and yet I could not take my eyes off the dramatic footages of the News Channels: NDTV and CNN IBN. Images of people running helter and skelter, cowering and ducking behind walls for protection, lying helplessly on roads, I had seen a man crawling on the road. None of us, or at least I could reconcile myself to this brutal reality staring in my face for sometime. It looked like a Mani Shankar or Ram Gopal Verma’s action movies. It is touted to be India’s 9/11 because of the magnitude of the collateral damage it caused. In this year alone, as far as I can remember, there have been not less than 5 terrorist attacks (bomb blasts) and the country was helpless and hopeless. The smug belief that we are ‘safe’ is finally shattered. Our sense of security appears bleak and the façade is indeed broken! Malls, Parks, Markets and now Five Star Hotels and Restaurants, Residential complexes – none of it is spared! I see the terrorists attacking the Nariman house, a complex housed by Jewish ilk and I’m afraid that tomorrow, the complex that I live in, might be under attack by terrorists or any miscreants, more so because my apartment is on the main road. I couldn’t help but place myself in the situation. If it can happen in Mumbai, it can happen anywhere in India. You go to a restaurant to have dinner, a shopping mall, market and not sure if you will come back home alive.The turbulent time has declared its hegemony over us. I crouch at the thought of waking up to a morning where I have to run for my life. Being gunned by terrorists at a Railway Station is the last thing on every travellers mind. The instance actually manifested on 27 Nov, 08 at the Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus. I was there, two years ago, boarding a train to Hyderabad from Mumbai. Deserted and vacant roads are the last thing, one will find in Mumbai. The crowd was bursting at seams in the railway station. I loved that hustle bustle, typical of a railway station. Passengers, coolies, channa battani hawkers and everybody going about their business. The empty CST was staring at me stupefied from the TV footage that was playing.

I have seen terror attacks; the ruthless bomb blasts at Bangalore, Ahmedabad, Delhi (twice) and we perhaps have become immune to terror. Every other day, you get to read a bomb blast and it soon became a common phenomenon. But the one that happened in Mumbai, which caused large scale damage, had beaten the breath out of me. My anxiety stems from the fact that Mumbai is one place that is close to my heart. My dalliance with Mumbai can be harked back to Jan 2007, when I had alighted in this HUGE city for a seminar, along with my history mam and one of my close friend’s Joyce. Mumbai evokes happy and proud memories as I was representing my college from Hyderabad at Mumbai. We spent three full days and two nights there. The moment I stepped out of the railway station, the first thing that caught me was the sight of the taxis. A city that I saw till yesterday on the TV had become a reality at that moment. The tangible factor, the very infrastructure corroborates the fact that it is a metropolitan city. Wide roads, tall buildings, huge bill boards greet you. We attended the seminar at Sophia college on Bulabai Desai road and the building just opposite to the to the college fascinated me. It resembled the Empire State Building at New York. It also sometimes referred to as mini New York by few. The sprawling city of Mumbai for me is a symbol of DREAMS and FREEDOM. Joyce and I were far from being nostalgic about Hyderabad. We were so in love with the city that we did not wanted to return when the time for departure had come. I had actually asked my mam to leave us here. But jokes apart, I was smitten by the city. I’m a true Hyderabadi to the core. Having said that, when I was in Bombay, Hyderabad appeared as a small town. Though my brought up was from the main stream city, I felt like a small town girl at Mumbai. We hired taxis to travel from college to shopping and from shopping to the convent. I sat next to the driver in the front seat while mam and Joyce perched at the back seat. I was in awe of the huge buildings as almost all buildings comprised floors that ranged from 15 to 20 on an average. The amusing part was that I began to count the number of the floors, when the taxi halted in the traffic and I got a panoramic view as I was sitting in the front. The driver along with Joyce and mam were in splits. It tickles my funny bone even at this moment as I’m narrating this event. I was very naughty and mam and Joyce had a tough time in keeping pace with my energy levels. My visit to Mumbai is rife with some pleasant experiences. The people were hospitable and so were the taxi drivers. There was not even a hint of deception and an effort made to take us for a ride as we were new. My mam strictly ordered Joyce and me to not to speak in Telugu, our native language. But it was obvious that anyone could figure out that we were new by the way we were moping about places. We visited places like Dhadar, Wadi, Crawford Street, Gandhi mart, Church gate etc. However, we couldn’t cover all places as there was barely any time left and we had pre-booked our tickets. Mumbai will always remain one of my favourite places though its image is now tarnished by terrorists. They might have tarnished the image but it is not irreparable. I always wanted to visit Mumbai again as I had not seen all the places and I will surely visit Mumbai again. Despite all this chaos, confusion, fear of terror, violence and loss, my love for the place will take me to the place. Mumbai will continue to be the happening metropolis and the commercial city of India.

Thus we fall, we rise and life goes on until we are shaken by another attack and this seems like a never ending vicious cycle. We are a population of one billion and I want to see how many will the terrorists suceed in killing? Damage done to property will be repairable but the wounds and trauma of the victims will never heal; it will leave them scarred forever. My deep condolences and commiserations to the sons of the soil: Cops and NGS Commando’s who gave their lives for country’s sake and three cheers to the NGG Commando’s for their painstaking efforts that reaped success in the operations executed against the terrorists.

What men want??

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Fri, 21 Nov 2008 16:17:00 +0000

“You are a man-hater”! quipped one of my friends: A, who is a guy. He made this statement after reading one of my posts: Beleaguered Buddies; where I delineated some of the things that bring a bunch of men together. I had put it men bond over “fagging, boozing, watching porn stuff, sharing mms’s, rating figures, sharing their sexual prowess etc”. The very name of the post indicates it’s about friends and of all the statements and pleasant things I wrote about, one statement that left a lasting impression is the one mentioned above. It suffused him to an extent that might smother him. If REALITY smothers you, then you inordinately need a reality check.

I had not made this inadvertent statement out of vacuum, this is a ground reality we all live with and have to acquiesce, whether we like it or not. It’s comprehensible if one acquiesces and rebels in the same breadth but what if one one only wants to rebel without acquiescing the reality. I postulated the statement NOT out of my wishful thinking but out of experience. It is implicit that most of us, working professionals spend an integral part of the day at work. Work definitely teaches us good and bitter lessons in experience.One gets to correspond with people of different cultures, mindsets, background; and there is exchange of knowledge, ideas, thoughts, opinions which are variable; and yes of course you get to study the habits of a person too; at times, it takes a single encounter and sometimes it takes a couple of encounters. For instance, you have just welcomed someone new into your team and on the same day, you go out for a break with your friend and cross paths with the newcomer who is smoking to glory along with some of his friends. There is another instance, where you as a new comer have been seeking the help of a kind senior since few months, and one day you notice him gleaming over pix of some voluptuous actresses in his mobile along with his other male colleagues. I have interacted with men at some seminars, work for the most part, apart from relatives as till my Grads I studied in all girls’ convent school and college. Thus, workplace is where I have seen, observed and made note of some of the fascinations men indulge in. Closer home, Pa doesn’t smoke and drink but yes some of my uncles do smoke and drink occasionally. Such specimens are a part of our life, we cannot dismember as it’s apparent that we do find a few, if not all in our extended families.

I’m both an orthodox and an out-going person. However, more of the former than the latter. Therefore the orthodox side of me looks upon smoking, fagging and such habits with disdain and contempt. I acknowledge that just because a guy smokes or drinks, that doesn’t make him an immoral person. But life is not built on frivolous, needless and material things; life is built on habits and thus on CHARACTER. My friend A and I got into a heated argument over this. Holding a mirror to people (men in this case) and portraying reality as it is, does not imply that I’m a man-hater. When I retorted and bludgeoned his moves by saying that I have seen nude pix of women in one of my male colleagues phone, who is a married man and how do you justify that? He went white in the face for a moment and started defending his stance by saying that I should not have seen his mobile, in the first place. What bilge is he ranting? I was twirling through his contacts for a colleagues contact number, in his mobile, before him and happened to see the wall paper. When I had said that he stated what’s wrong in pursuing such a fascination? Whether it is a fascination to get a high in bed or whether it is good, bad or ugly, it is true that men do have a good time over these fascinations. I also concede that there are a good percentage of men who do not indulge and we women will root for them but for the most part they DO and this is corroborated by men themselves and who else would know it better? Ask them.

This post is definitely not a meaningless vindication of the previous post but a vindication to open minds to reality; for people like my friend. Posts, write-ups, articles are all up there for public dissections and interpretations. But condemning reality is ridiculous! Doing is one thing and denying is another. I seethed over the appalling statement of my friend and the unfairness of it all. And for those, who might be wondering if being a feminist connotes hating men; it’s a misconception to be thrown out of the window.I’m a feminist and a feminist is someone who advocates equal rights for women, to look upon men and women as equals. Having said that, in feminism, there are radical, Marxist, liberal feminists etc. Radical feminism is hating men as my friend has panned me for; these feminists want to do away with men. I’m a liberal feminist who calls for parity among men and women.

PS: Keep your thoughts, ideas, opinions, jibes and comments coming in.

Marriage, Mayhem and Melee

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 16:52:00 +0000

“Marriages are made in heaven” goes a popular statement that resonates with most of us and induces a smug belief of UTOPIA: an ideal institution. It is this perception that busted the bubble! If divorce rates are anything to go by, the magnitude of divorces in India is proliferating by the day.

Conservative India has perpetually been a marriage obsessed society. Despite all the vociferous voices that claim: our society has outgrown the notion of an arranged marriage, arranged marriages however remain the order of the day in the contemporary scenario. 80 out of 100 marriages in India can be pigeon holed as arranged. The prospective bride and groom are mere pawns who are compelled to dance to the directions of their parents; what if either s/he is in love with someone else? Why are the parents not getting him or her married to partners of their own choice? Ostensibly the partner could be from a different caste, class, religion or perhaps not good enough for their parents. The outcome: a compromise not for one but two because the other partner’s expectations are dashed to the ground as s/he becomes a part of someone’s life for who marriage is a compromise. Nevertheless love marriages aren’t a bed of roses either.

Both love and arranged marriages come with its pros and cons. If both sorts of marriages are collapsing, what are the reasons for the decline? One of the reasons for the mayhem of this sacrosanct institution is EXPECTATIONS. Couples plunge into the relationship with expectations and assuming notions. When the partner fails to live up to his/her expectations, hell breaks loose. Few are pushed into wedding when they least expect it and therefore aren’t prepared. What if there are other priorities like higher studies and career for him/her? What if s/he is keen to pursue their priorities? This again tarnishes expectations of the other partner. Gender equation has changed radically over the years. There were times when man was the sole bread winner; today it’s a tantalizing role reversal: women are financially liberated and extremely opinionated. In the modern scenario, it’s the lack of adjustment and ego clashes that propels a divorce in most cases. Divorce lawyers state that 7 out of 10 cases cite grounds of fighting over trivial issues; from sharing responsibilities and chores at home to making a small compromise with career. For instance, in a case, a husband wanted his wife to resign and join him in another state on account of his transfer. However, the wife refused to comply and the rest as we know is reality.

The other reasons for divorce include extra marital relations, domestic violence, an incurable disease and impotency. Impotency is quite a negligent issue in India. Women are afraid to open up and come out with the problem. But getting nervous will not help matters, clear conversation might. My friend’s cousin got married to a guy who was impotent and when asked as to why he did that, he did not have an answer. The girl went into pieces and took a long time to recover. But I’m happy she is divorced. Why are people adamant on shattering some innocent person’s life? Such a person can only be an animal. It is a sound mind, emotions and a heart that differentiates a human from an animal. There are two schools of thought for extra marital affairs. One advocates that if a husband is inflicting violence, there’s nothing wrong if his wife looks for love in another man’s arms. Another advocates that an extra marital affair is an aberration. The latter will attract dissenting views from the former saying that if people are not happy in a marriage, should they continue to suffer in silence? But what about those who are content with their nuptial life and yet take to extra marital affairs? Then I definitely think it is an aberration.

Marriage, a bond that binds two individuals together, till death does them apart, has been reduced to a melee in todays volatile times; but who is making it a convoluted institution? It is US. Have people adopted a zero tolerance attitude that they can’t stand a slight flaw in their spouse? I think Marriage is not about looking for someone who completes you but it’s about someone who shares your completeness. Marriage is a union of two good forgivers!

A Pompous Poem

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 19:09:00 +0000

This is another poem that I ferreted out of the rummage in the book shelf. Some friends are inexorably tied to you and one such friend of mine is Sarah who wrote this poem on me. I know that I make for an irresistible buddy but I never thought even in my wildest dream that someone can write a poem on me. In this world where most of us are self-centered, having friends like Sarah is a blessing. I must say that she is an epitome of altruism- a selfless person. I always admonish her not to be overtly sweet lest people will exploit her. She only nods her head with a smile :-)

There is a girl called Carol and she is my friend
When she laughs, there seems no end

She is very friendly
And she has eyes which are deadly

She has a lovely smile
And she merry all the while

Naughty? You might ask if she is
I bet she is more than anyone else is

About her what should I say?
She is very particular about her bay

She is a very sweet person
Who helps without asking for a reason

I’m glad I found a friend like her
And this poem to her I proudly deliver.

Thanks a ton Sarah for the Wonderful poem! It never fails to amaze me every time I read it. Keep rocking!!

He Satiates Me...

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Sun, 05 Oct 2008 15:38:00 +0000

Most of us shy away from writing about God because we are afraid that there will not be any takers for our blog. What if I will be labelled as a maniac? What if people just overlook my Blog? What if my peers don’t acquiesce me? These are some of the questions that run through our minds. Perception of God varies from a person to person.The juvenile Gen X/Youngistan believes that God is for the senile/grey-haired ilk-something you turn to when you retire and when you are relieved of all your responsibilities in life. For some God manifests through rituals; they follow rituals blindly even if that makes no sense. There are some for whom God is confined to Sundays, festivals, hard times, exams and so on. Then there are those who worship God out of fear, they believe that if I don’t follow this (a ritual, a custom), perform a puja, don’t live a good life, I will see God’s wrath.

But what if God wishes to be your friend and thereby becomes your friend? Someone who walks with you in your life, someone who makes wonders and helps you surmount obstacles and blesses you abundantly. Would you not talk about him? I’m a practicing Christian. However Christianity is more of a way of life than as a religion, a doctrine and an ideology. Let me not connote further. Below is a poem that I found in the rummage of my book shelf. I wrote this POEM when in class X, when I was down-in-the-dumps. Read on...

Lying on the couch and gazing
At the black clouds, makes
my predicament more miserable
makes me feel like a poor Lamb.

A Lamb that’s certainly not lost
But a Lamb that feels secluded
Even among a great herd of Lambs
in the deep dark forest

I wonder so often, is life all
a bed of thorns? Happiness
seems to elude me, every time I
try to be and that is the tragedy

A colossal of troubles, catastrophes,
miseries, I have gone through in life
so massive! Like the innumerable
Stars in the sky at night.

The injustice that happened
many a times, the pain and
the hurt my loved ones gave
me, when not anticipating…

This is so pensive, I know…
and the one who reads this
will certainly write me off
as a poor thing but think again!

I’m NOT as there is this
someone who doesn’t let
me fall, eveytime I trip
he never let me went astray

He who holds my fingers and makes
me tread the thorny paths in life
he, who understood me, whose
love is so abundant, so pure…

His love for me is so overflowing
that made me wonder struck
such love never have I found
not even in my parents, my friends…

He who said “I’m there”
his promises ever so true
he, who moulded me,
who was a solace in trying times

How can I forget the wonderful
Lessons of life he taught me,
The risks to take in life, to stand
Up for what I believe is right

I’m not me today without
him, the bold, self-assured
confident person I’m today is
because of him who lives in me

Yes! It’s my great, beloved
Friend: Jesus! The almighty!
And now I wonder what a fool I was
to pity myself as he satiates my life.

People often say that happiness is a state-of-mind. So what makes me happy?I’m happy because I have Jesus in my life.
“To live is Christ and to die is gain” Philippians 1:21

This is just a tip of the iceberg. There are loads to talk about my experiences and relationship with Christ. However that merits a blog of its own: an entity per se.Perhaps I will start one, once I’m done with my MA after April 2009 as I need to plumb into the depths to write and give insights. Having said that Christ is neither complex nor convoluted. Just that I can’t squeeze in time and I don’t want to take up something I can’t do justice to.I want to take time and prepare myself for it.

PS: The intention of this post is not to impose religion on anybody.Everyone is free to choose and follow religion of their choice. Its one of the fundamental rights. I’m only sharing my testimony.

Gender Equality- A myth or a reality??

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 17:01:00 +0000

There is a certain ambiguity in understanding gender equality in the context of today’s woman: bold, smart, independent, chic, steely grit and nerve and the list can be endless. The World boasts of many such women who breached barriers of caste, class, societal norms to carve their own identies. Identities as in those that are not confined to biological roles: a daughter, wife and a mother but those that she defined through her own potential and talent.

This ambiguity is best manifested by the media: Print and electronic; that portrays women who aced in every sphere. It presents a picture of Aishwarya Rai standing tall at Cannes Film Festival; Sunitha Williams flying high in a space shuttle; Indira Nooyi, CEO of PepsiCo, addressing a press conference; Kiran Desai, plush in the success of a Booker Prize; The gutsy Hillary Clinton in a race for the white house and a countless examples to quote. Having said that, the media is equally rife with dowry deaths, rape cases, sexual abuse/harassment, eve teasing, molestation cases, domestic violence and what not? Does all this evoke gender equality? You just never know that bad news about women exceeds good news about women and perhaps the good news about women fades into insignificance before bad news. If you recall, the media kick started the New Year with molestation cases at Mumbai where two women out of a hotel were molested: pinched, grabbed, touched, felt and squeezed; by a group of drunken men. Then there are dissenting voices of the moral police who say that women ask for it as they wear provoking clothes. What rot? A woman can be provoking in a Salwar too. Just because a girl sports a tee and jeans, she is not a bitch who asks for it. The same holds for rape. What is rape? It is illicit sexual intercourse without the consent of a woman and effected by force, duress, intimidation or deception as to the nature of the act. When a woman is raped, the rapist goes scot free; it is the victim who is traumatized. The society is not kind enough to support her; she is looked down like a piece of dirt and some perverts who say that she asked for it. What about rape in wedlock? Is it rape at all? It’s not an outsider, her own husband who she is wedded to. So where does the question of rape arise? Rape is illicit without the benefit of marriage and if within marriage it’s a breach of promise to embrace and support her in sickness and health. If Eve Teasing is still prevalent, no wonder women are still perceived as objects of desire. If men are subjects, women are objects. God is in heaven and all is right with the stinking world!

There are communities and families where a woman’s place is still confined to home and hearth and she is defined by her man. Imagine having to live in a place where you don’t have a voice. What happens when the woman raises her voice against some norm? She is torn, beaten and battered. That’s domestic violence for you! What if a woman is caught in a marriage seeped in domestic violence that renders her a mental and physical wreck? She should walk out of that marriage and lodge a complaint against the proprietors of the crime. Our government finally woke up to the ill-plight of women and passed an act on 23rd June, 2005 that declares any domestic violence against women, a crime. It’s not just a husband who is deemed but also a relative will be charged with a criminal offence.

However such Laws will be efficacious only if the victims come forward and fight for justice. Most women only suffer than prefer to come and speak out against their family. It is against Indian culture. For heavens sake, Indian culture doesn’t ask you be a silent sufferer and mute spectator to the injustice and pain inflicted on you. Judith Armstrong, a well know critic stated “Adultery is greater when committed by a woman. She’s called a fallen woman and when a man commits adultery he just STRAY’s.” I refuse to buy that bilge. There should be equal punishment meted out to both. From time immemorial society is a male dominated one. A woman’s husband was a pathi parmeshwar or God to her. Though the old veil girl has seen the light of the sun, she is definitely facing a gender bias which is a manifestation of what I had mentioned earlier. Today some old traditions have come in a new garb. We had ‘sathi-pratha’: burning of a widow on her husbands’ pyre; and today we burn the bride and allow the groom to have another.

A much relevant example is Amniocentesis where the pregnant lady undergoes this sex-determination test under the pressure of her in-laws, even though it is an offence. Its disheartening that even today a girl is frowned upon as a yoke or a burden in families and it is appalling to know that the so called ‘affluent’ who are supposedly ‘educated’ are committing this crime. Even the middle income and poor income groups think that the birth of a girl child is a deliberative digging of a big pit because they are afraid of facing challenges regarding her education, huge dowry sums, wedding etc. They all look forward to a son to carry on their lineage or family business and also because a secure future is assured. Let’s face it, even at work, women face sexual harassment. It could be an innocuous remark, an unnecessary look or something more serious. A survey depicts that 49% women have encountered sexual abuse and 53% women don’t have equal opportunities at work. They also say that women are treated unfairly by their supervisor/ co-worker/fellow student.

Even amidst working couples, it is the man who has an edge over the woman. If he is transferred to a different place, the wife‘s interest is not taken into consideration, she is expected to move with him. However it’s ok for her to compromise on little things concerning work. Every man looks for a homely woman who can keep his parents and him happy but what if that homely girl wants to work? What if she is much successful than her husband and earns more than he does? Will the husband, acquiesce and digest this fact? Will his fragile ego not get wounded? The Newspapers do publish stories on Men who accept their trophy wives with ease and are absolutely comfort with the attention they receive. That’s only a smug-belief of a ‘feel-good-factor’. A woman’s life is circumscribed by a man. God has created female and man created a woman. Simone de Beauvoir, a landmark French feminist commented “A woman is not born but made”. All of the above breaks the façade that there is gender equality. It only presents a bleak picture of today’s woman.

If this myth has to become a reality, women should be educated and empowered, social responsibility should increase and boys at home should be taught to respect women. Entrenched prejudices and customs against women should be abolished and various myths, superstitions should be debunked. If Laws have to succeed, complaints should be made more anonymous that will encourage the girl to come forward and complain while scaring the miscreants.

My High:Hyderabad

noreply@blogger.com (Carol Kathram) — Thu, 02 Oct 2008 10:30:00 +0000

I’m quite defiant about my roots as most of us are! I believe that no matter what you ace, accomplish, transform and evolve as an individual, one should never forget one’s roots: WHERE YOU COME FROM? I was born in Nizamabad, my Mom’s natal place. She is essentially from that place, but later migrated to the City: Hyderabad, when she joined my Papa in wedlock. It is apparent in India that a pregnant woman is off to her maternal home for delivery. Nevertheless I was brought up in Hyderabad/ హైదరాబాదు.
I have been residing here since 20 years and I still find this place so invigorating… Hyderabad never fell short of giving me the best; be it education, Job contentment, extended families, a string of friends, great infrastructure. You name it…Hyderabad is redolent with a glorious past. The City is feted for its pedigree of remarkable rulers: Qutub Shahi’s and Asif Jahi’s/Nizams; who left an inimitable legacy for its posterity- from Charminar to Hyderabadi Biryani (the iconic dish of Hyderabad).Hyderabad was initially called Bhagyanagar after Mohammed Quli’s beloved Baghmati. Once she moved to the Royal Palace and embraced Islam, she was named Hydermati/mahal. Therefore Hyderabad is a ramification of Hydermati.

Hyderabad emanates a cosmopolitan culture that accommodates and embraces all cultures. This cosmopolitan feature of Hyderabad dates back to Nizams who worked in harmony with the British and often threw parties for each other sans any entrenched prejudices. This facilitated a blend of Muslim and Anglo culture. Hyderabad has a twin: Secunderabad that is sequestered by the Hussain Sagar Lake. This lake, in common parlance, is a signature of Hyderabad, next only to Charminar; it’s a man-made lake that was built during the reign of Qutub Shahi’s in the 16th cen. The Hall mark of this lake is the monolithic Buddha statute that emblazon's it. The lake ,A heart shaped Jewel that keeps the two cities together has become a timeless hit with Hyderabadi’s. Secunderabad was founded as a British cantonment and has a large Army and Air Force presence to this date. Its eponymous too as it takes its name after Sikander Jah, the 3rd Nizam of the Asif Jahi Dynasty.

IT and Infrastructure was at its zenith during the reign of Chandrababu Naidu. He garnered accolades for his concept of an image overhaul of Hyderabad with fly overs and state-of-the-art buildings. Hi-tech City mushroomed in leaps and bounds and thus Hyderabad was put on the World Map as the IT Capital of India, along with Bangalore. There is ostensibly a preponderance of Telugus over the other communities here. Telugu is a must in ¾ th of Schools here. However we Telugu’s are not as rigid as the madrasi’s who cannot accommodate either Hindi or English apart from Tamil on their hoardings. It equates to shutting the door on an outsiders face. Hyderabadi’s are UNDENIABLY warm, friendly and hospitable. They preen over their local, typical, vibrant Hyderabadi language: a mix of Hindi, Urdu and Telugu. Did you know that Hindi and Urdu are dialects of the same language? I always thought they are two different languages until I studied for the linguistics exam :-)

Of late, umpteen Designer Boutiques, Malls, Restaurants and Hotels have sprung up. So you want to sport a Tommy Hilfiger Sweater this winter? Head to Banjara Hills; A seven star Hotel for Corporate Conferences? Novotel at Hitex; A swanky Hotel to accommodate your clients? ITC Sheraton Kakatiya at Begumpet; Luxury of movies in a Multiplex? There’s Prasad’s, IMAX, PVR. An ambience of a restaurant that transports you to a breath-taking place? Exotica at Banjara Hills (I love that place)Women, what about seamless shopping? Abids, Koti, Old City, James Street, Parklane, Begumpet, Banjara Hills etc. Please feel free to add to the list. You will find an Irani Café: Chai, Samosa and Osmania Biscuits on street corners and a theatre within every 500 meters in the City. That’s Hyderabad for you!

Hyderabadi’s- continue exploring the place.
Outsiders- come and see for yourselves. I’m sure it will never fail to amaze you!
There was a time when US of A was considered to be a land of dreams and opportunities. Today perhaps not with all the mayhem in finances and unemployment looming large!Whatever it might be, I just give a damn. It’s Hyderabad- a land of opportunities and dreams for me.

PS: One of my optional in Graduation was History; this dalliance with History began way back in school. Hence it’s been easy for me to give a historic spin to it. Apparently anything on earth will be incomplete sans History.