Candle & Quill

Magi

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Tue, 31 Jan 2012 12:12:00 +0000

Please take a moment to read Matthew 2:7-12 [www.Biblegateway.com]

There aren’t many details about the Magi (an educated caste throughout the middle- and far east), how many there actually were, or their journey; once they’d seen the astronomical variance, consulted with each other and interpreted it, then organized their journey and made arrangements for an undetermined length of absence (most likely leaving behind wives and children), who knows just how long they’d been travelling, or how long Joseph, Mary and a newborn stayed in Bethlehem? But the Bible does say that they found a child in a house (2:9-11). Jesus was 1 to 2 years old; Joseph probably stayed on in Bethlehem or its vicinity and worked to earn money, not wanting to travel with a newborn through harsh territory. In verse 11, Matthew emphasizes that Jesus is for all nations; that those who are seeking will find, and those who are open will receive.

Imagine the sensation that must have been caused: This noble entourage, train of camels and / or horses, showing up at a backstreet carpentry shop, or the home next door. Expecting to find a royal king in the capital city, they instead find the goal of their journey in the most humble and common of circumstances, coming face to face with the King of all kings in the grimy form of a baby playing in the dirt at his mother’s feet as she tended the cooking pot and fire nearby. They dismount their richly adorned camels and fall to their knees, bowing to the dust before a bewildered boy. Perhaps Joseph watched in awe from the door of his shop, uncertain how to act, unable to offer hospitality to such guests. Jesus probably sought the safety of his mother’s dress. The servants are then ordered to bring out the troves of gifts and set them before their masters.

Contrary to the popular image of a little ornate urn of gold, frankincense and myrrh, I can almost guarantee that the amounts were downright embarrassing for Joseph and Mary. It was an ancient custom in the Middle East (and these Magi would have been well acquainted with it even if it were different in their own culture) that the amount of gift was not only a sign of honour to the receiver, but a representation of the importance and the wealth of the giver. These men had set out to find the king of the Jews, and assuming he would have been born in the royal family, they set out with proportionate gifts. [For examples of that custom, read through the histories of David and Solomon in the Old Testament. The dining table was another display of wealth and power; a king’s fighting elite, politicians, leaders, and anyone important ate at his table; see 1. Kings 10:4-10.]

Laying their treasures before the King of the Earth, these wise men chose gifts that symbolized what they’d perhaps interpreted from the signs in the heavens:

GOLD: The wealth of the earth, representing Kingship. It’s one of the only metals that, when heated, loses none of its nature, weight, colour or anything else, but allows impurities to surface; fire only improves it. That’s why it’s used to symbolize faith and the process of refinement (e.g. Job 23:10). Little known to the giver, it would soon help finance a hasty flight to Egypt... For further study: Zechariah 13:9; Malachi 3:2,32)

INCENSE: Represents Jesus’priesthood, as well as his divinity. It was a familiar and telling item to Matthew’s readers, burnt as an offering to God in the temple (Frankincense was one of the incense used). It was also a symbol of worship. For further study: Psalm 141:2; Revelation 8:4; Song of Songs 3:63)

MYRRH: Unlike sweet frankincense, Myrrh is bitter; used as one of the resins in a spice mixture to embalm the dead, it’s a perfumed preservative. It was representative of Jesus’ sacrificial life and death on this earth: Given at his birth, offered again as he hung on the cross (Mark 15:23 – Jesus refused to take it because it was mixed with wine to deaden the pain...). It was in the ointments that the women prepared for his death and burial. Luke 23:56 says that the spices used for the burial of a body were 75 lbs. (34 kg.) of myrrh and aloes used on the first day (see Luke 19:39,40), plus whatever the women could afford to add to it. For further study: Exodus 30:23 (one of the compounds in the sacred anointing oil); Psalm 45:8, Proverb 7:17; Song of Songs 3:6, 5:13 (used as a perfume)

All of these gifts would aid Joseph and Mary both financially and medicinally in the coming flight. But they were Jewish; they were also fully aware of the royal symbols now laid at their feet by these strangers who’d travelled afar, seeking out the one whom the heavens declared to them in a language they understood – science. I can’t imagine that they returned home unchanged by what they’d encountered, by their expectations turned on its head. Remember Matthew’s message to his readers: All those who are seeking will find, and those who are open will receive.

Up Next: Whole-Hearted Obedience

Fact vs. Fiction

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 07:55:00 +0000

Please take a moment to read Matthew 2:1-6 [www.Biblegateway.com]

Matthew starts off the chapter by giving a clue to the numerical riddle in chapter 1, by focusing his story with “Bethlehem in Judea” – pointing to the Davidic connection. He doesn’t relate anything about what happened in Nazareth, or of Mary’s visit to her cousin Elizabeth, but jumps straight to the Magi. By the time the Magi arrived in Jerusalem, Joseph’s family had settled in a house in the area of Bethlehem (I infer this from statements in Matthew 2 & 3), and Jesus was a small child.

The Magi were an upper caste of astrologers (probably closer to astronomers than the hocus-pocus of modern astrology), scientists and doctors, found across the Middle East, from Persia to Ethiopia. They, just like everyone else, obviously had pre-conceived notions when seeking a king, as they made their way to the capital Jerusalem, to Herod’s palace to find him. They were seeking, after all, one “born king” – not that would become one, but was a king from birth (2:2).

Let’s take a closer look at Herod: He was not only a non-Jew appointed “King of the Jews” by the Roman Senate in 40 B.C., he was Idumean – An Edomite. Israel and Judah were basically trapped between the Mediterranean Sea and Edom, Moab, Ammon and Aram, with the Philistines to the south and Phoenicia to the north. Edom and Israel had an antagonistic and volatile history, with Edom usually on the losing end of the stick against God’s chosen people (when they were following their covenant God, that is). So basically, Herod was from a pagan culture that hated the Jews, and the Jews viewed Edomites with complete contempt. Herod may have been brutal by culture or nature, but the combined situation amplified that brutality. When elected by Rome, he banished his current wife Doris and his son, to marry the teenage Jewish niece of Antigonus (to give him more political weight with the Jews). Now throw into that powder keg of hot-headed Jews and an antagonistic, brutal ruler backed by the legions of Rome while living off of the plunder of the Jews in the name of taxes and harassment, the spark of an entourage of Magi announcing that a usurper had been born King! Herod’s brutal instinct was to strike while his enemy was weakest to secure his position of power. He’d go on to murder one of his nine wives, three of his own sons, his brother, and countless others; the slaughter of Bethlehem’s male toddlers wasn’t going to cost him any sleep.

The Magi must have been travelling in significant numbers; not only themselves, but their servants, their provisions for months (if not years) of travelling, and gifts enough fit for a king powerful enough to command the alignment of the heavens. At such occasions, gifts reflected not only the importance of the recipient, but the status and power of the giver; it was a matter of pride, or not losing face, to give generously… it would be logical to me therefore that their entourage included a small army to protect that gift along the long and treacherous journey.

In 2:4, Herod called together all “the people’s” (not his own) chief priests and teachers of the law; they told him of the prophecy in Micah 5:2. You would think, after such an unusual series of events, such a revealing question and a clear prophetic reply, that the chief priests and teachers would have realized that the Messiah had come! Would they not therefore, 30 years later, have calculated back? Wouldn’t they be looking, waiting, listening for the rumours? Wouldn’t it ring a bell when Jesus’ ministry became so glaringly miraculous? But ever hearing, never understanding; ever seeing, but never perceiving… (Isaiah 6:9).

Up Next: Royal Gifts

The Mind-Blowing Faith of a Simple Man

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 10:53:00 +0000

Before we get started, please take a moment to read Matthew 1:18-24.

Joseph of Nazareth is a completely under-explored character in sermons, if you ask me. We can learn so much from this humble man who sought to honour God. Imagine his situation for a moment: He chose Mary, a girl in his village, to be his wife. He sealed the contract with her father; they informed Mary. He chose her perhaps because he saw qualities in her of the faithfulness, obedience to God and a pure heart that he wanted in a wife. They sealed the engagement pledge, and then she leaves for a six-month visit to her cousin Elizabeth. The next thing he knows she’s returned... decidedly pregnant. And it wasn’t him. But how can he prove his integrity, being her betrothed? By divorcing her – a clear statement that her baby wasn’t his; if he did it publically, it would vindicate him. He could bring charges; if he didn’t, everyone in the village would be convinced that he really was the father... that they’d both sinned, broken faith with God and man. He could have her stoned. But instead he chose the painful way of honour and integrity – to divorce her quietly. It would eventually become known in the small community, but wasn’t an immediate disgrace – she had enough of that already. He still loved her, though he couldn’t support what he – and everyone else – assumed had been her behaviour. A virgin birth. Right. An angel. Really.

But God intervened. In a supernatural dream He answered the questions going through Joseph’s heart and mind: She’d told him the unbelievable TRUTH. He was betrothed to the one and only virgin to give birth in history; it would be a boy, and they were to give him the common name of Joshua (Jesus is the Greek form, but being Hebrew, Mary and Joseph probably called their son by Joshua), because he would be the ultimate fulfilment of the meaning of that name: “The Lord Saves”!

His righteous response was immediate: He claimed her as his wife, and took her home under his protection. Can you imagine the relief he felt to find out that the young woman he’d thought he’d seen as righteous and full of integrity to actually be far more – righteous enough to be chosen as the mother of the Messiah; righteous enough to stand against the opposition, the glares, the gossip, knowing she’d done no wrong, broken no vows. That’s a lot to wrap your brain around, and we know the outcome! But I’m sure once they both knew, it drew them closer to each other, allies in an incredible, incredulous secret. But it wasn’t long before they were thrown into a dependency on each other that would test their strength: A census. A trek of just over 100 miles, if they followed the Jordan river, from Nazareth to Bethlehem. Now, on a straight, smooth path, the average walking speed for a healthy human is about 3 miles an hour. If they walked 8 hours a day solid, they could reach Bethlehem in just over 4 days. But we are most likely talking about rough terrain through the hill country of Judea (Roman roads were often avoided by the normal population as it was a dangerous gamble with fate or ill-tempered soldiers; this was a common feature of the roads, viewed with suspicion and fear across the Roman empire from the far east to the British Isles), with a highly pregnant woman, and (if they were lucky) a donkey laden with their provisions, sheep skins for sleeping, and water enough in case they had to move away from the river. But the donkey could go no faster than the walking speed of Joseph, whose sandals had to hold out 100 miles of dust and rock. Any way you slice it, it was no picnic.

The amazing faith and obedience of this couple has focused almost entirely on Mary; but without a righteous, loving, obedient and courageous husband, her life would have turned out VERY differently. Joseph was willing to be the earthly father to the heavenly king, raising the Son of God, disciplining and teaching – it took a ton of guts, faith and humility, and a constant dependence on God! After all, who wants to screw up raising the Son of God?! And the later children of Mary and Joseph (Matthew 13:55,56) had a hard act to follow, with a perfect older brother...

Up Next: Fact vs. Fiction

Dusting off a Dusty ol‘ Geneaology

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 08:08:00 +0000

Let’s take a snapshot of Matthew 1:1-17. Please take a moment to read it first.

Matthew, being a man of math, numbers and money, shared the ancient world’s popular love of word plays. In his time the alphabet served not only as letters but also numbers, and so it was a popular pastime to make riddles or arrangements using the numerical equivalents of names or words. Also in the ancient world, genealogies were widely considered fluid (e.g. “father” could mean direct father, or ‘forefather’), unlike today when they are viewed in western cultures as a dusty historical record of strict chronology. To the modern western mind, if two genealogies in an ancient manuscript such as the Bible don’t “match”, we automatically assume one is “wrong” or“right”. But in ancient history such“records” served three purposes:

1) Personal: Relating an individual to his or her family, highlighting links to important ancestors. This is also seen in many ancient histories of Bronze & Iron Age Europe, when a historian was patronized (read “paid”) by a king to be court historian, to write the king’s“story” – to give a usurping or conquering king an instant pedigree by highlighting his ancestors that made him look good, that made him a legitimate contender for the throne he already held.
2) Political: Used for military conscription by family / tribal units, or in land disputes or legal issues.
3) Religious: For instance to establish the rights of priests and Levites.

Matthew’s genealogy is far from dusty: It runs in multiples of 7, with 14 generations between Abraham to David, David to the Exile, and the Exile to Christ. In pointing his Jewish readership to Jesus as the Messiah, Son of David (from the tribe of Judah – see 1. Samuel 16:1and Micah 5:2), he used the number 14 because it is the numerical value of “David”. An example of such name-number symbolism is found in Proverbs 10:1-22:16: The “Proverbs of Solomon” are 375 verses –the exact numerical value of the letters in “Solomon”. There are other literary layers at work throughout the Psalms and Proverbs, but that’s another series’ worth! Another numerical facet is that there are 3 sets of generations, reflecting the trinity (three-in-one) nature of God.

Another interesting aspect of Matthew’s genealogy is that he includes no less than five women: Tamar (the sordid reason for her motherhood is found in Genesis 38); Rahab (a prostitute from Jericho who aided Israeli spies – see Joshua 2); Ruth (a Moabite – see the book of Ruth); Bathsheba, though not mentioned by name is inferred in verse 6; and Mary – an unwed, pregnant virgin. At least three are gentiles, so again Matthew points to the fact that Jesus was for the world, not just Jews, and that women play an important part of history as well. The fact that Ruth, a Moabite, was David’s own great-grandmother (Ruth 4:16-22), and that Bathsheba was David’s wife through the weakness of David’s flesh that led to adultery and murder (2. Samuel 11) adds poignancy to their inclusions as well.

The point? Matthew was pointing out that the utterly human ancestry of Jesus as the Son of Man highlights the fact that God can use anyone for His Kingdom, and that He seeks to reconcile all people to Himself. He chose to have His own son born, 100% divine, into such a chequered family heritage 100% human; and no one can claim higher honour than Jesus – not even with a spotless family history.

Up Next: One man’s mind-blowing dilemma.

Introduction to Matthew

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 12:15:00 +0000

I’ve been reading through the Gospel of Matthew lately, and there’s so much in it when it’s taken in gradually, like a slow walk through a rich spring garden. So come with me as I begin to stroll through Matthew. I would recommend having a Bible at hand, or opening www.Biblegateway.com and going to your preferred version of the Bible for quick reference; I use NIV.

Matthew was a tax collector-turned-apostle & a missionary to Ethiopia, where he eventually laid down his life as a martyr. Able to read and write, Matthew was the first of the four gospels to pen his experiences with Jesus (the only one who looked beyond Matthew’s profession and saw the potential of the man). He wrote his eye-witness account to a primarily Jewish readership (both Jewish and Messianic Jews in the young and exploding church), yet he has a strong universal outlook: He recorded the Magis’ visit; he included Jesus’ statement (in his explanation of the parable of the weeds, see 13:36ff) that “the field is the world”; and his is the only one of the four gospels that includes the Great Commission (28:18-20).

In Matthew, time and again he draws quotes from and / or parallels between the Old Testament and Jesus’ life. The whole gospel is centred around five great discourses (again, a parallel with the Old Testament’s Pentateuch, the first five books, written by Moses): Chapters 5-7; 10; 13; 18; 24-25. Each discourse ends with a phrase such as, “When Jesus finished.”

In portraying the Messiah as the fulfilment of the Old Testament, he has an appropriate prologue (chapters 1 & 2): The Abrahamic – Davidic – Adamic genealogy; Jesus’ supernatural conception and birth; the recognition of the (non-Jewish)Magi, etc., as well as the challenging epilogue calling Messianic Jews to open Christ to the entire world and not keep Him for themselves,
harking back to the Abramic covenant of Genesis 12:2,3:

“I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

Matthew has some fascinating characters portrayed, from prostitutes to kings, soldiers to mothers. He also loved word games; what you always thought was a dusty ol’ genealogy is nothing of the kind!

Up next: A dusty ol’ genealogy dusted off!

The Who's Who of Heaven

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 00:05:00 +0000

Today I was looking through this year’s summary, an annual magazine that comes with a Swiss newspaper. Then I noticed the obituaries, tucked away at the back. Two stood in stark contrast, and they made me think about life’s true meaning, and its consequences after this life has breathed its last in our fragile frames.

Elizabeth Taylor is a household name. Famous from a young age, she’s never left the limelight, even when she had limelight fever and ended up in rehab. She’ll be talked about and referenced for decades to come; she’ll be mourned by fans, praised by media, and kept alive in the collective cultural memory for the foreseeable future. She acted in over 50 films, and was married 8 times.

Then there was Silja Walter. Who? The fact that she made it into an annual report says that she was known in some way, but I suspect those who know her name are a drop in the bucket compared to Taylor. She was a Swiss nun poet. The only thing mentioned about her life is that she wrote poetry around the topic of faith, religion and the monastic life.

But what struck me most about these two lives is the difference that makes all the difference in the world to come: It’s not about how many they knew, but about Who they knew. It’s not about how many knew them, it’s about Who knew them. Though heaven and hell are controversial topics, it doesn’t change the fact that both are very real (I can personally confirm the existence
of the former, and am grateful to say I cannot do so with the latter), and that our spirits go to one or the other based on the decisions we make during our lifetime, to trust in God through Jesus’ redemption offered through his death on the cross and resurrection from the grave – or not. No other decision or action ever made or done carries as much consequence for our lives as that one. And though none of us like to face it, it is a fact that if someone dies having denied or rejected the Messiah, they relinquish their place in His presence (heaven), and are consigned to the place of punishment meant for the demonic horde, having sided with the enemy. There is no middle ground. Jesus himself said in Matthew 12:30, “Whoever is not with me is against me, and whoever does not gather with me scatters.”

All of the glamour of this world, all the fame, is meaningless beyond this realm of mortal life. Beyond this life, Silja Walter’s name is known. She’s been welcomed home with “Well done, my Daughter!” From His depths, God rejoices in her home-coming. From His depths, God grieves for the loss of lives like Elizabeth Taylor, or Amy Winehouse. Only God knows what was in the depths of their hearts as they drew their last breath. He’s a merciful God whose driving motivation is love; but He also gave us, as creatures made in His Triune image, a free choice; and if we use that free choice against Him, He must abide by our decision. Silja has gone home to where her heart had at length found a home, having been known in heaven far longer than Elizabeth Taylor will ever be known on earth.

Beautiful Moments

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 10:52:00 +0000

There was once a street busker, playing a violin in a subway station on a bitterly cold January morning. It wasn't just any station – it was Washington D.C.'s L'Enfant Plaza Metro, with traffic of over 6 million passengers per year. In the 45 minutes that he played, over 1,000 people passed by; the music he chose to play was some of the most complex ever written, by Bach. For his performance, he earned 32 dollars, most of it thrown into his case from passersby who didn't even bother to slow down. In all that time, only a few people bothered to stop for a few minutes. And only one person recognized him.

The musician? Joshua Bell.
The instrument? Worth over 3.5 million dollars.
The reason? An experiment by the Washington Post, captured by a hidden camera.

They wanted to see if people actually paid attention to beauty in the everyday of life; if they could recognize talent when they heard it, or if they'd even listen long enough to register the fact that music was playing, never mind by one of the best musicians in the world (who two nights before had performed before an audience of people who'd paid 100 dollars per seat), playing one of the most difficult pieces, on one of the most expensive instruments in active use, was standing there in a baseball cap and jeans.

Was the result an indictment on modern pace? Yes. Was it an indictment on how numb we can become to the true moments of beauty in this world? Definitely. So the next time you're out, take off the blinders of schedule and self-concerns and take a good look - and listen - around you. You might get a free concert, or you might encounter someone who needs an encouraging word – that someone who might grow up or change professions to become the next discovered talent, the next moment of beauty in this world. They might become a world-changer because you took a moment to care.

Detours

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 23:49:00 +0000

Today I was reading in Matthew 8, and realized something: From a human perspective, the story of the Centurion was a detour for Jesus. He’d just finished off the Sermon on the mount (hillside) with thousands of people hanging on his every word (both then and since). I don’t know about you, but at that point I’d be well ready to go home, put my feet up, and chillax. As a matter of fact, that’s where he was heading – to Peter’s home in Capernaum, where he lived when he was in the area.

Verse 5, he was on the home stretch, in Capernaum, when he was met by the Centurion. He stopped… took the time… and responded, and was even encouraged himself by witnessing such faith in a Roman soldier. How many Romans heard the Gospel through that Centurion as a result? How many people that were under him, whether Roman or servants taken from every corner of the Empire, heard and saw the changes in his life as a result? With God, no event is EVER an isolated event, but will always have rippling effects. We humans have no idea of the impact on others’ lives from a simple act of obedience. Or disobedience.

Jesus finally gets home (vs. 14) – and finds Peter’s mother-in-law sick with fever. The human reaction might have been something like this: “I ministered out there, even went out of my way! I have the right to have a moment’s peace now.” Nope. As a bond-servant of Christ, I actually don’t have the right to peace; and yet Jesus promises a peace beyond understanding. Sometimes “peace” is equated with “leisure”, when peace can actually come in the midst of the storm… It’s not a right, but a gracious gift, as each day is in fact a gift. As bond-servant to Christ, I choose to give him my life and do his will, and in turn he provides everything I’ll need to accomplish it, and everything I need to have abundant life.

Jesus set the example, reached out, and touched Peter’s mother-in-law, healing her. After that he was able to rest, as she served him. And then as the heat of the day began to melt into Capernaum evening and people began to stir outdoors again, they headed to the hot-spot, the hang-out joint of town: Peter’s house! And Jesus served them all. It wasn’t just going through the motions after a long day of teaching and ministry, but it was God’s love made manifest through Jesus to each individual. Isaiah 53:4 foresaw it: “He took the punishment that made us whole. Through his bruises we become healed.”

So, following Jesus’ example and applying it to my own life: It’s about laying down my perceived “rights”, and opening myself to the amazing opportunities that God will bring along as a result.

No Worries

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 10:15:00 +0000

I've just come back from a very refreshing holiday; at such a moment it's easy to say "no worries". But as I was reading the passage in Matthew 6 (:25 ff), I was struck by those three little words: "Do not worry". If followed they pack a big punch.

It's so easy to worry as a human; things that are beyond our control tend to do that to us: Health challenges (ours or others we know); finances (ours or the world's economy); relational issues (taking two to tango and all that); even, when the going gets tough, necessities in life such as food, shelter, clothing (I don't think Jesus is talking about vanity-clothes here, but covering-your-back clothes). And still his call to my heart is, "Do not worry".

In the passage just before this, it talks about the fact that treasures should be in heaven, not on earth; in other words, the things that we do that have eternal value will be stored up as "treasures" in heaven, with a return that's out of this world! If my heart is where my treasure is, then I learn to keep my eyes on the things of God, not of this world, and the things that happen here won't shake me as much. If I allow God to keep my focus clear on Him, choose to store up treasures where they'll really count, and keep my heart devoted to Him, everything else will fall away, or take its rightful place and priority.

So if my treasures, and therefore heart, are in the right place (safe in God's hands), then I will know in my heart that God is faithful, trustworthy, and reliable. If the world's economy collapses and money isn't worth scrap metal, God is still faithful and unlimited in His provision. There are dozens of examples throughout the Bible of such provision, such as multiplying the flour and oil (the two most important foods in that time) in 1. Kings 17:15,16, or providing funds through goods as in 2. Kings 4:1-7. Not just in the Bible. I was in missions for four years, and I saw countless examples of God's miraculous provision and multiplication, both personally and through the lives of friends. I've seen money multiply in a bucket in the middle of a room, when a few dollars went in, and enough for an airline ticket for a missions trip came out. I've got 2 items that were received in a time of need in my life, prayed over that God would bless them, and more than 23 years later they're both still as new as the day I received them – a lip balm (that story is here, called "The Green Apple Miracle), and a shirt that I wear nearly every day in summers. God is limitless. Literally. It's only when I try to put God in a box and set the conditions of my trust that worry finds a fertile field.

Do not worry. Trust in Jesus, the only real security in this troubled world.

We become what we give!

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Wed, 04 May 2011 22:24:00 +0000

What normal boy doesn’t want to be a superhero at some point in his childhood? What normal little girl doesn’t want to become a super heroine to rescue the innocent and bring justice? What child doesn’t long for affection, protection, and affirmation from those they look up to? Boys and men, and girls and women tick differently, and for a purpose – to complement on another. It’s the innate fulfilment of a man to protect and provide for, and the innate fulfilment of the woman to support, nurture and be protected. That doesn’t match modern views of feminism, but it’s nevertheless true: until a society or parents form other opinions in the child, he or she will gravitate toward that natural, instinctual role.

I, as a liberated woman, have found fulfilment as well: It is liberating to fulfil my God-given desire to be a pillar of support for my husband, as he fulfils his God-given desire to provide for the family as the bread-winner. I am satisfied with a day when I have a good, homemade hot meal on the table in a clean, inviting home. No amount of nagging, or insisting on equal opportunity, or holding back till the other one gives or gives in will lead to fulfilment; on the contrary, those attitudes are like digging holes under the foundation of a house: Dig enough, and it will eventually collapse with the inhabitants inside.

I’ve observed many marriages: The marriages founded with bad attitudes toward the opposite sex, even as banal as “only kidding” jokes about the “old ball and chain”, “battleaxe”, or “old man”, or with an ingrained distrust of the opposite sex, will not stand the tests of time if those attitudes are not corrected before permanent damage is done. The marriages founded on respect for one another, honouring in word and deed, in private and in public, stand on that solid foundation when the storms of life start to tug at them; they stand together, on the same side of a battle line as allies.

Marriage is never 50-50; it’s 100-100! Holding back will not only not protect you or benefit you in any way, it will damage you – you’re not being fulfilled, and your marriage partner will begin to pull back as well. Tensions will rise. Our marriage, and to a certain extent our spouse, will become what we give; we will reap what we sow. If we sow 50% of ourselves, that’s what we’ll get back, and that’s eventually what we’ll become. If you want a trustworthy partner, be trustworthy. If you want a loving partner, be loving and loveable. If you want a wise and intelligent partner, choose wisely and look intelligently, and take pride in improving yourself. If you’re not married yet, these principles will help attract the kind of partner you want in life; the more you know what you want, the easier it is to say “no” to the temptations that come your way, and hold out for the right one!

There, but for the Grace of God...

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Tue, 03 May 2011 11:45:00 +0000

The news of Bin Laden’s death has provoked various reactions, often several within the same person: relief, anxiety at possible retaliations, sadness that it had to come to this, and some have even rejoiced in telling him to “rot in hell”, as New York’s Daily News’s headline stated.

I may be relieved and saddened, and certainly wary of what will result in retaliations (the Middle Eastern cultures have a strong sense of “eye for eye, tooth for tooth”, and that without Jesus’ amendments of Matthew 5:38-42 [http://www.biblegateway.com]). But it is not my place to rejoice in the fact that Bin Laden’s now burning in hell; God loved him just as much as he loves me, and God has lost him for all eternity because of the choices Bin Laden made while alive: he chose to follow the Muslim god of hate and war and terror. [Anyone who thinks that Allah and the God of the Bible are essentially the same need to do a serious character comparison and evaluation; by their very natures they are diametrically opposed, ergo cannot be the same being.] God grieves at his loss, and as the Lord’s ambassador, as well as His daughter, it behooves me to do the same.

Proverbs 24:17,18 reminds me not to rejoice at such moments, lest God be displeased and turn away His pursuit of such enemies; and Romans 12:20 teaches me the right response to have, again referring me to the wisdom of Solomon in Proverbs 25:21.

It would certainly be a test of courage and character to have met Bin Laden on a street somewhere, in need, and offer to help him rather than spit in his face. Helping him at such a moment would have made me the enemy to the world of peace in that moment; but what would Jesus have done? But each one of us have real, face-to-face people in our lives that are uncomfortable, or even antagonists. How we respond to them is just as important – MORE important because God has brought them specifically into our lives (if only for a season)...

So, I must not waste my energy thinking about Bin Laden; I need to employ my time, energy and thoughts into the lives around me, remembering that "there, but for the grace of God, go I".

Crafty Bits

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Tue, 03 May 2011 00:25:00 +0000

I tend to go through phases of interests in the area of crafts. Crafts are always interesting, and a good way to change pace from writing, but I like variety. Anything from paper-making to candle-making, beading quilting, quilling, crocheting, knitting, sewing, you name it, I'll try it.
Right now I'm into crocheting. If you're not familiar with the term "Amigurumi", Google it! I love practical projects, and in the autumns our church hosts a bazar to raise money for various missions projects. I usually take Scherenschnitte, or lace; this past year I sold quite a bit of beaded projects as well as homemade smoked almonds, and Pfeffernüsse. But this coming year I'll add crochet; and to do that, it means I've had to start NOW if I want enough to offer. Some of the items only take half an hour which means I can get a couple done a day. As they say, "make hay while the sun shines" - while I have time here and there, I'll invest it into such projects.

Check out the following blog for a few projects, if you're interested. My favourite is the "sleeping lamb": http://www.harugurumi.blogspot.com

New Directions

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Sat, 30 Apr 2011 12:48:00 +0000

If you've been wondering whether or not I've fallen off the face of Cyberspace, I'm here to let you know I'm still around. I've been working on a LOT of various projects lately, and have found it difficult to keep up with the C&Q in the form I've had it in the past - that of short articles.

My life is actually so diversified that it's even hard for me to keep up with! My interests range all over the place, from linguistics to cooking to crafts to history, to spiritual issues and to the trivial that make life colourful. So from now on, I am going to open up this blog to my wider range of self. Anything goes. Here it comes.

A Year of Resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 12:52:00 +0000

What will this coming year bring? Who will we meet? Each new encounter enriches our lives, no matter how long they're in it. Imagine what heaven will be like... myriads of like-hearted beings with NO time limitations, no passing years. 2010 flashed by faster than a hiccup, a blur of little and large everyday extraordinary events. I want more. More of God in me; more chances to encourage and challenge, be encouraged and be challenged. I want to invest more into the Kingdom of Jesus in people's lives.

Often I find that each year has a particular theme in events. The word "Resolutions" comes to mind (as in resolving, not as in New Year's promises our brains make and our hearts have no intention of keeping), though I'm not really sure what prompts that. There are family upheavals on both sides of the Atlantic, and friends in transitional situations, though our own lives have no need of resolution (unless you're talking about finding the right book agent!).

I'm content in my life as housewife, vocal coach, and day-mom for kids one day in the week. My husband has a great job he enjoys, and is the best and kindest man I've ever known. We live in a beautiful, quiet town, and have a great church full of amazing people. Life has too many blessings to count, and no drains, for which I'm thankful each and every day. Whatever this year brings, I pray we will face it with thankfulness, in faith, strength and peace. I pray that when we are strong we use it to strengthen others, and when we are weak that we can accept with grace the support we need. If those things are in place, 2011 can't help but be a good year.

The Paradox of Jesus

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 11:31:00 +0000

Jesus was born in a cave made for sheep and donkeys, yet the skies filled with the rejoicing of angels. No human place of comfort had room for him, yet the heavens guided the rich and noble thousands of miles over two years to where he lived to worship Him, and pay homage with gifts of the most costly elements on earth. Those gifts helped pay for the God-instigated flight to Egypt that saved His life from those bent on protecting their own earthly power; but they couldn’t defeat the One that made the ground they stood on. His birth was an anomaly to the laws of life, and His death was contrary to the laws of death. He was born for the express purpose of dying. There was no greater miracle than His conception and birth; no greater paradox than His life as a human; no greater human tragedy than His death; no greater triumph than His resurrection.

He held no degree, yet they called Him Teacher; He was no doctor, but healed everywhere He went. His teachings confounded the learned scholars of the time with His simplicity and wisdom that, when followed, still changes lives and topples kingdoms. He grew no crops and had no nets, yet He satisfied the hunger of thousands and had leftovers to spare. He was King of Kings, and though He had no lands, no servants or army – not even a place to rest His head – He conquered the world, even hell and death, and to this day kings and governments feel threatened by Him. He never walked down a red carpet; He walked on water. His crucifixion was the crime of crimes with trumped-up charges, lies, jealousies and political power struggles, but from God’s perspective no less than that crucifixion would pay the price of redemption for a fallen world of people like you and me. He was a carpenter nailed to a wooden cross. When He died, He chose the moment himself; few realized at the time just who He really was (even among those who’d followed Him closely); but the sun itself darkened, the earth shook and the temple curtain tore from top to bottom (though it was 4 inches thick, 60 feet long, and took 300 men to hold its 4 tons of weight). He died of a broken heart, shown when His side was pierced and blood flowed separately from “water”. The soil stained with His blood could not claim His dust.

Though He only preached three years, wrote no book and formed no organisation, two thousand years later He’s history’s most famous figure. The ages pivot around Him, and He is the only Redeemer of the human race. Yet He didn’t come to lord it over us; He came to serve, to love, to show the way out of sin and to show the way to live a fulfilled life both here on earth and beyond, where it really counts. His very being divides families and nations, yet when all is said and done every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord.

The biggest questions in life, He’s answered (“Who am I?” and “What is my purpose (why am I here)?”). The biggest question in life we have to answer is this: “Will my knee bow and tongue confess joyfully because I knew and accepted the truth of the facts, or will I bow and confess begrudgingly, knowing that I knew but ignored the fact of the Way, the Truth and the Life?”

Illustration: Unknown Artist. If you know, please let me know and I'll give credit where credit is well-deserved!

Date Night Sparks III: OUTDOOR - WARM WEATHER

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Thu, 11 Nov 2010 18:39:00 +0000

■ Have dinner in your garden or on the balcony. Make it somewhere different. Add a candle, or a wind candle / lantern.
■ Find a comfortable place on a picnic or on the balcony or in the garden: Read a book of short stories, or poetry, or magazine articles that you're interested in – out loud to each other in turns.
■ Pick wildflowers on the way home.
■ Go pick fruit or berries at a farm.
■ Take a moonlit walk in nice scenery (whatever your area provides – mountain, forest, beach, downtown walking district, etc.).
■ Ride a tandem bike.
■ Get up early or stay up all night to watch the sunrise.
■ On a clear, warm night: Get out the lawn chairs or a blanket, stretch out on the balcony or in the garden, or somewhere under the stars, and stargaze together. A glass of wine or a hot tea to top it off. Whisper in the dark.
■ Take a walk down memory lane — if geographically possible, visit some of the special places from your early days of dating. If you now live elsewhere, take that walk virtually with Google Earth Street View!
■ Go on a walk in the rain – large umbrella is optional.
■ On a rainy day, go out and jump in the puddles, kick water around and then go inside to sit by a fireplace or the heater wrapped in a blanket and drink hot chocolate.
■ Go for a bike ride together. If there's a lake nearby, make sure you pack a picnic.
■ If you know someone who has a boat, have dinner “on a yacht” (parked for storage.)
■ Go to a park and sit on a bench together. People-watch – be imaginative (and nice!).
■ Play a game of Frisbee.
■ Go swimming.
■ Go hiking together.
■ Buy a loaf of bread and feed the ducks at a local park.
■ Watch the sunset.
■ If you live near, or go on holiday near, a beach, go beachcombing together.
■ If you have a car / cars, put on some appropriate clothes (bathing suit, or scruffies) and wash the cars together. Have fun – and get wet!
■ Give blood and then go out for ice cream.
■ Go for a drive with no destination in mind and stop anywhere that looks interesting.
■ If you live in America, go garage-saling together. In Europe, find out where the weekly flea markets, boot sales, or food markets are and have fun!
■ Take a roll of pennies to a fountain and make wishes out loud as you throw them in.
■ Invest time or money in making a decent kite, and find the perfect spot (in a park, empty lot or on the edge of town) to fly it together!
■ Rent a paddle boat together, or go canoeing. It's about manpower and water, really.
■ Explore a new hiking path together.
■ Find out about your local fitness trail (outdoor parcourse), and take a crack at it together.
■ If you have a car, take a scenic drive together. Stop off for an ice-cream along the way.
■ If you have a car, drive for one hour in any direction and see what there is to see along the way!
■ If you have a garden, rake up autumn leaves and jump in the piles together before bagging them. If you don't have a garden, volunteer to help a neighbour or family member that does, with the condition that you get to have fun in the process!
■ Play badminton at night in your garden, in a park, in the nearest empty parking area, or in your garage (if it's a large underground parking garage).
■ Go snorkelling in the public pool.
■ If available: Dodge sprinklers on the public golf course or public park and see who can stay the driest. Otherwise, you'll have to use water pistols…
■ Find out if Geocaching has already caught on in your local area, and go for it! (see www.geocaching.com for details.)
■ Lie on your backs in the grass and try to identify the shapes in the clouds.
■ If you live near, or are on holiday near, a beach, build a huge sand castle at the beach.
■ Fire up the grill for burgers and sticky s'mores.
■ Hit a hiking trail near you.
■ Take a sketchpad to a scenic bluff and draw your own version of the vista.
■ Take a hayride.
■ Flowers are an eternal symbol of romance. Head to the botanical gardens and learn all about them together.
■ Take a road trip to the city if you live in the country or to the country if you live in the city. See how the other half lives.
■ Act like tourists in your own neighbourhood. Go to one of the major sites, take photos, and pretend you’re seeing this place again for the first time.

Habits to Develop for a Healthy Marriage

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Mon, 01 Nov 2010 10:35:00 +0000

Below are a few things that my husband and I have been putting to practice for years. Some things, such as speaking with honour toward others, are things we've learned from our parents, but they are things that can be learned and relearned at any stage if you did not grow up with that example yourself. If these things are put into practice, your marriage cannot help but bloom and prosper!

1. Say "Thank you" for something each and every day. It can be practical – for a household chore that's common, or aesthetic – for being understanding, or funny, or intelligent.

2. Say "I love you" in a genuine, new way every day. Be yourself, but say it!

3. Pray together each night. Before you go to bed, pray together – thanking God for whatever comes to mind, praying for friends, family, and neighbours that need help. Be prepared to be part of the answer.

4. If your spouse has a regular work schedule and arrives home at the same time each evening, then this next one is not necessary; but if your spouse has an unpredictable schedule, this is extremely helpful: Just before leaving work, the spouse calls quickly to let you know they're leaving; you know roughly how long it takes them to get home, so you have that time to prepare dinner, or finish off what you're doing and be ready to spend time together in the evenings. It's a mental preparation time that enables both partners to "be there" with each other. We've been doing this for over 15 years, and it's a great habit!

5. ALWAYS be honouring, in word and deed, of your spouse. In private and public. If criticisms need to be spoken, do so in love, and with honour. Bad-mouthing, ball-and-chain jokes are strictly forbidden! In fact, I could write a whole book on how important communication is. The unhealthy kinds to watch out for are: Inattentiveness; Interruption; Judgemental comments (judging motives or jumping to conclusions); Unwilling communication (if your spouse has to drag a conversation out of you, there's something wrong); Sweeping generalisations; Exhuming ("Last week you said I…"); Blame-shifting; Apologizing without asking forgiveness; Scolding; Using Put-Downs; Harshness. The last three are strictly forbidden! (Ephesians 4:15-32; James 1:19,20; James 4:11,12) Conversely, the kinds of communication to develop are: Attentiveness; Listening then replying (not reacting); Benefit of the doubt in motives; Initiative in communicating; Fair (if there's an issue to be addressed, e.g. household differences of standards, do so in a loving, benefit-of-the-doubt tone, willing to find a compromise or come to agreement together); Honest (if you're to blame, confess it and ask forgiveness); Complimenting (don't worry – overblown egos don't happen with compliments!); Protective (if something wrong needs addressing, do so in an honouring, helpful way).

6. Groom yourself, and try to look good for your partner. It's an expression of honour and love, both of your spouse and of yourself. Don't "let yourself go", but try to maintain that youthful attitude of dating, even when your hair is turning silver!

7. Take some quiet time each evening and talk about your day together. Try to do it before one of you falls asleep!

8. Keep your word. Trust is a strong pillar of marriage; don't chip away at it by inconsistencies! If you say you'll do it by the end of the week, do it. Don't make your spouse feel that he / she has to remind you. It's an expression of honour and love to keep your promises.

9. Do things for each other without being asked. This is perhaps stating the obvious, but don't let lazy habits or selfish attitudes creep into your marriage. Keep open communications so that it goes both ways, but keep this expression of love active in your partnership.

10. Be best friends. There should never be another person that you feel "more comfortable" with, talking about any subject. If you need to speak to someone other than your spouse about an issue, make sure that your spouse knows about it, and that they understand why you need that input. But don't let that stop you from discussing the issue with your marriage partner. Even if (especially if) it's an "embarrassing" subject, your partner should have your trust in such issues. Temptations will come up – it's part of being human in a fallen world.

11. No back doors. If your underlying attitude is that, if the going gets too tough, there's always exiting through the back door (divorce) to consider, then you will eventually use that back door. There will always be tough times in marriage. There will be failings. Divorce will not only not solve the problems, but more often than not it multiplies them beyond control. It destroys on a deeper level than anyone can predict, and for longer than anyone can anticipate. I speak from the experience of watching friends go through the shredding process, and staying up to pray for, speak with, be there for them. Years roll into decades, and the wounds are still open and bleeding. That back door has teeth and claws, so seal it over by cementing your marriage together, and keep the monster out of your lives. Instead, God wants to use the challenges that come up, the tough times that pass through our lives (whether from weaknesses of our own or from economic or political crises), to strengthen us and heal us. Our battle is not against flesh and blood! (Ephesians 6:12) So fight together, side by side with your spouse, not against them.

Just remember that "no communication" is "miscommunication"… it's what most Hollywood films use as their main "gas on the fire" effect, but it doesn't make for a pretty happy ending without a very good script writer. Work at being best friends with your spouse – it will pay off huge along the way and in the end!

I hope that these thoughts have been helpful for you. If you have any questions, or have another good habit to add to the list, please feel free to do so! It would be great to read about your own experiences with any of these points. Please comment!

Date Night Sparks II: INDOOR – AWAY FROM HOME

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Thu, 28 Oct 2010 09:42:00 +0000

° Go to a movie, ignore the movie, and make out like teenagers.

° Declare your love, very publicly.

° Go to the library together, and read something new.

° Go to a local museum. There are probably dozens of obscure museums in your area. Check Tourist Information.

° Go to a concert.

° Propose! As if you weren't already married, guys, embarrass your wife in a positive way!

° Go bowling together.

° Play Mini-Golf together.

° On a rainy weekend, go to a large bookstore. Find a comfortable seat, and read an interesting book together or find a new addition for your home library.

° Pretend you're professional photographers and go out for some fun!

° Do something "bakey" (cookies, muffins, etc.) or crafty (cards, drink coasters, etc.) and take them to a nursing home or children’s hospital.

° Try live entertainment, such as a band at a local bar, instead of a movie.

° Try brunch and a matinee; fancy restaurants may be more affordable in the mornings.

° Trim your fingernails, wear thick socks and hit the bowling alley.

° Hit a sports bar and cheer on the team.

° Check out the talent at a small local art gallery.

° Get all dressed up and catch an orchestra or opera performance.

° Miniature golf, bowling, pool, or the arcade are always great for some old-fashioned fun and friendly competition.

° Go to a diner and share a milkshake. Delicious!

° Shop together for something you want but do not actually need – a stereo, fancy barware, a home theatre. Even if you don't buy, you can dream.

Date Night Sparks I: INDOOR – AT HOME

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Sat, 23 Oct 2010 13:26:00 +0000

I've collected these sparks over the years from various sources, and many I've written myself, adapting from our lives. Being married 17 years already, sometimes it gets tricky to find something new, which is why I started collecting these sparks! Whether you're tight on budget or have no limits, or whether you've got an hour on a week night or an extended weekend on your hands, you'll find ideas here. If you have any ideas to add, please do so in the comments!! Browse, and enjoy.

° For any indoor event, candles are always an option. Stock up! Light candles around the room. I even light them in the bathrooms. We rarely use electric lights in the evenings. We actually have a string of light blue Christmas lights strung up around our living room / hallway, and they're on all year round. They're bright enough that we don't need other lights on, but dim enough to light candles if we want to.

° Break out your favourite card, video, computer and/or board games. Set a prize for the winner: A kiss, or the loser gets to plan the next date night. Try to think of a new prize occasionally! Keep a tally of who has won the most games throughout the night. The winner gets to choose the romantic treat of their choice! Make sure to keep the games balanced so one person doesn't always win every week!

° Start a weekly betting game on your (or your partner's) favourite sport. Each week the winner gets to choose a romantic treat of their choice! This is a great way to learn about your partner's favourite sport as well.

° Set up mini challenges like who can find the oldest printed love letter or what is the oldest love poem, etc. first. Whoever wins gets to choose the romantic treat of their choice.

° Re-watch the first movie you ever watched together.

° Snuggle on the couch and watch a movie.

° Curl up together with a crossword puzzle.

° Bring home your favourite fast food, but serve it on your best china.

° Make a scrapbook with photos, mementos, and little notes from your lives together. This can also be a virtual scrapbook, for example through a program like www.ifolor.com offers.

° Have an Easter egg hunt, NOT at Easter. Hide them inside around your home. They could be real eggs, or chocolate eggs, or Surprise plastic eggs with something inside.

° Don’t cook and get your favourite take out.

° Have a dinner where all the food and decorations are the same colour.

° Have a theme night. You must dress, eat dinner, and watch a movie with the same theme. Think ‘Tex-Mex’ and dress like a cowpoke, eat Tex-Mex, and watch "Tortilla Soup". Think ‘French’ and dress in black and white, make French onion soup, and watch "French Kiss". Think 'Asian' and wear flip-flop sandals, eat Chinese and watch "High Road to China". You get the idea.

° If you're into desserts, make a dessert together that you both like.

° Take a shower and get dressed up to go out, but stay in.

° Put a blanket down on the floor and picnic with a nice background CD playing.

° Find a comfortable place indoors: Read a book of short stories or magazine articles that you're interested in – out loud to each other in turns.

° Write or read a poem together.

° Pick a TV show, get a season's worth on DVD and make a running date to watch it together every night.

° Bubble bath for two. Candles. Champagne. Need we say more?

° Get a fondue pot and have a feast. Add an old-fashioned movie such as "Christmas in Connecticut".

° Make a Jazz Club at home: Pop in a Jazz CD, and sit back with a mixed drink to just listen and "be".

° Make yourselves the biggest, craziest ice cream sundae ever.

° Give each other haircuts (CAUTION: This is a trust issue, as well as a competence issue!!).

° Make a finger-foods-only dinner and feed each other.

° Bake a cake.

° Sing a favourite song to him or her. Only do this if you can sing fairly well! Or sing really off-key.

° Share your favourite dating memory with each other over dinner.

° Share your plans / dreams for the future.

° Have a candlelit dinner in a room (or part of a room) you rarely use. Play footsie.

° Make a mix CD or play list to enjoy throughout the evening.

° Choose an old CD that you haven't listen to in a long time, and turn it on during dinner.

° Make a platter or nibbles for dinner, then sit on the couch and talk while you eat together. The platter might include: Bite-sized cheese squares; black / green olives; bread sticks or bite-sized crackers; sausage rounds; slices of apples / pears; grapes; chocolate squares for the sweeter side; a good bottle of red or white wine (remember to chill the white beforehand). Good wine websites will tell you which wines go best with cheese, or which chocolate will bring out the fragrance of the wine.

° Dance! Make room for our own private dance floor and have fun. Slow dance to romantic music.

° Write out an invitation card to your date requesting their presence at the VIP Lounge of your private nightclub. Choose appropriate music, dress up, light the candles, and pop the cork or mix your favourite drink.

° Learn how to weave a basket together. (Just Google "How to weave a basket"!)

° Contact someone from your past that both of you know.

° Invite someone for a dinner date.

° Give each other feet massages, after a foot bath together.

° Do Scherenschnitte (paper-cutting) together. Designs can be found online.

° Sort through old magazines.

° Bake cookies to take to the office. It will make you and your spouse very popular!

° Play a complex computer game, such as Riven, together.

° Expand the "100 Ways to Confuse your Roommate“ list (Google it, and have a good laugh!!).

° Get out the chairs and blankets and snuggle up under the stars, and count satellites.

° Give each other a back rub, or foot massage. If your spouse is prone to headaches or neck aches, massage their neck and head.

° Work out together. Set up a circuit somewhere convenient (in the garage or in the garden) with a jump rope, dumbbells (if you don't have weights, be creative – use large tins of food, or make a sandbag of the right weights), push-up, and sit-up stations, or exercise equipment that you already have.

° Cook together and try a new recipe for dinner or for a cocktail.

° Play video or computer games together.

° Watch a sports game and eat stadium food like nachos and hot dogs. (Betty Crocker has some great meal ideas under events such as "Super Bowl" recipes.)

° Set up a pair of chairs and stick your feet in a tub of warm water in the winter, cool water in the summer.

° Prepare strawberries with fondue chocolate.

° Snuggle together on a rainy day.

° Send a love email or text message every day.

° Take a bubble bath.

° Have a snow ball or water balloon fight. Water pistol shootouts can be lots of fun, too.

° Set up a monthly lunch date or phone call: Perfect for elderly friends or relatives.

° Feed each other grapes. Go Greek, or take aim!

° Make presents for each other – together!

° Wash each other's hair.

° Get out the crayons / markers and paper, and have fun! Play Tic Tac Toe, or Hangman, or draw something goofy together.

° Recreate your partner’s favourite romantic movie scene. Have fun! [e.g. the Gerard Butler bedroom dance scene in "PS I Love You".]

° Pretend you’re going on a first date: Show up at the door with flowers, all dressed up, with your car washed and cleaned, looking spiffy. Recreate the first time, or improve on it!

° Put on a slow dance music, jazz, etc. and play Twister.

° Do homework together – learn about something new. Wikipedia random articles are a good start.

° Plan a weekend activity together (see the "Just a Bit of Planning" list).

° Whisper sweet nothings into the other's ear. Make a game of it, or make this a prize for the winning spouse in another game you play.

° Make a list of things you like about each other.

° Choose a recipe together, and bake / cook together.

° Camping out… at home! Set up a tent in your flat, or round up the chairs and a blanket. Get a torch (flashlight), a picnic blanket in front of your tent, and sleeping bags inside. Go all out! Or, have Chinese takeout and tell ghost stories by flashlight.

° Put on some nice music, and do a puzzle together. Make it a size do-able in one evening!

° Set up a treasure hunt (each spouse is in charge one date night of two): If you're good at making riddles, set them up through the flat, with a chocolate or some kind of small gift at each station, with a coupon for a larger gift, or the gift itself (even if it's you) wrapped at the end of the treasure hunt.

° If there's something you're both interested in, but haven't really done anything about that hobby, start a collection together – stamps, postcards, recipes, websites, you name it!

° Write your love story together. How you met, where you went on your first date, etc.

° Choose a decade in history, and learn about it together.

° Set up a mini-golf course in your home, and play with either golf balls and clubs, or a Ping-Pong ball and paddle.

° Create a cocktail together and name it after yourselves.

° Go to a bookstore or music store together, then split up. Your mission: Buy something you know they'll love. Then wrap and exchange.

° Go shopping and see who can find the strangest, tackiest, yet cheapest item for each other.

° If you have Polaroid camera (old, or the new digital versions with portable printer), buy some film and then take pictures of people and give them their picture for free.

° Have a scavenger hunt in your neighbourhood for cookie ingredients, then go home and make them, taking some of the cookies to everyone who gave you an ingredient.

° Play Balloon Basketball. Use a rubbish bin for the hoop. Other games you could play are: Balloon Handball; Football while sitting; Race with a balloon on the end of a cooking spoon; Strip-Balloon (a player has to keep the balloon in the air while taking off an article of clothing); Blowing (keep it in the air only with your breath); Balloon Shaving (Cover the balloon with shaving or whipping cream, and CAREFULLY shave it. I'm not responsible for any messes you might make…)

° Tell the story behind a photo as if your spouse were a stranger.

° Look at wedding photos together.

° Do a craft project together at the table.

° Talk about the perfect birthday scenario you'd wish for your next round birthday.

° Talk about your favourite book, and why it's your favourite.

° Tell about your favourite kind of wild animal, and why.

° Draw your dream house.

° Find an interesting website together.

° Play table tennis: Set up a barrier along the "net" line of your dining table (make the barrier out of sheets of paper folded in half and "standing"), wad up a scrap piece of paper as a ball (if you don't have a real ping pong ball), and use magazines for paddles.

° Play Scrabble, with word themes such as relationship – every word has to have some connection to the theme.

° Listen to a Bible CD.

° Re-write a newspaper article to comedy.

° Look at a collection together. Whether you collected stamps or coins or whatever as a child, or still collect them, I bet you don't just enjoy them very often.

° Practice drawing together.

° Go late-night window-shopping.

° Look through old slides.

° Come up with new ideas for this list.

° Creative intercession with a game of cards (every victory, pray, or every 7th card).

° Play the Ungame (or questions from the "Questions to Ask" list).

° Throw away some things: Simplifying life and possessions can be a very freeing experience!

° Play Bible Trivia (e.g. www.biblequizzes.org.uk)

° Learn a new song together.

° Write a song together.

° Call someone together, overseas.

° Contact an old friend.

° Log on to www.learner.org/jnorth to find out how to become a pair of butterfly spies.

° Make a time capsule about your dating days to open years from now.

° Have a tournament of your choice – Battleship, Monopoly, cards, Playstation, etc. For a twist, the winner has to take the loser out to dinner for another date night.

Endurance

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 20:42:00 +0000

Endurance. Not something for the faint-hearted. There have been times in my life when I’ve been tempted to give up, to quit before reaching the goal. The most challenging situations are those times when the goal is an unknown entity, an undetermined distance, or a vague point in the future. It’s difficult to pace yourself when you don’t know how much longer the trail is.

I have a disability which sets off a chain reaction of pain and mechanical failure, and pacing makes the difference between reaching my goal or not. And if the “not” is half-way up a mountain, I’d be in serious trouble. If I don’t know how much further away the half-mark is mentally, I can’t ration my movements with the confidence that it will be “enough”, and panic can set in. A slow rhythm helps only so far, but is no compensation for thorough planning. And it’s those times of uncertainty that tempt me to quit. But exactly at such moments is the time to determine my action. I may need a pause in the journey, but my attitude determines whether it’s a comma or a period. If I determine to reach my goal, it’s just a matter of time.

Spiritually we face the same process: when the way is harder or the waiting is longer than we anticipated, it is then we must choose in faith to stay our course, and decide to win. I have a Guide on this journey of Life who will never leave me or forsake me, and He knows the course set before me like the back of His nail-scarred hands. He won’t ever leave me behind, but adjusts His pace to mine. It’s my choice to keep trusting Him and keep moving forward.

Hebrews 12:1-3
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”

Photo: Taken on a hike in Uri, Switzerland, 2007

Those Little Moments

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 16:04:00 +0000

If you’re the average person, you’ve got lots of what I call “little moments” – those few minutes between projects, appointments, sitting at a traffic light, standing in a queue at the cash register, between phone calls and a slow computer changing gears. Be honest: What do you do with such moments? Often not much of anything in particular; and often those moments are strategically filled by music, commercials, and distractions of every volume.

But what if you used those little moments with God? Each one of us knows someone going through a challenge, or facing a battle of some kind. In our Global Village you might even know someone in every time zone! Choose a few people or groups that are on your heart, or that come to mind, and jot them down somewhere convenient that you’ll see in a typical free moment. Pray for them: simple or complex, general or specific, in that precious little moment you could be removing that little stumbling stone which will release an avalanche of breakthrough, or tipping that domino that makes everything fall into place for someone. It might “only” be planting a seed – you won’t see any immediate results, but be assured that God will – and He has chosen to partner with us on this Earth. If we don’t work with Him, He has chosen to limit Himself. When we do partner however, even those little moments of time become alive and fruitful.

Ephesians 5:15-17 says it best: “Be very careful, then, how you live – not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is.”

Tuning into your crime-fighting partner rather than the radio, allow that partnership to fight on behalf of others through the powerful tool of prayer, making those little moments monumental.

A Tree Full of Monkeys

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 22:20:00 +0000

Does your inner life look more like a still, clear pond, or a tree full of monkeys? Serenity, or insanity? I don’t mean outer activities, though they will inevitably add to the cacophony of inner life; but I mean the thoughts, doubts, worries, the jumble of reminder notes on the pin-boards of our minds, the insecurities wrestling with duties we feel we can’t live up to. People have become nearly paranoid of commitment; our instinct to somehow protect ourselves from being over-booked backfires into stress of expectations on ourselves, a feeling of failure however vague it may be. That protective instinct is not wrong, but the solutions we often arrive at are misplaced.

Rather than simply avoiding commitments we need to get to the heart of the matter: Solitude. Scheduling times of solitude, stillness and silence with God will not only begin to clear the clutter in our hearts and minds, but will teach us to discern what our calling, both long-term and momentary, is. Only then will we know where to pull back, and where to get (or remain) involved.

Solitude is not some mystical event reserved for monks who have nothing else to do, or retreat weekends once a year. Rather, solitude is something available to each of us daily, and it enables the times of activities each one of us has in our lives to become more effective, fruitful and worthwhile.

Everyone has a hunger for solitude. But sometimes fear of what we will find if we peer too deeply into our souls drives many to seek fulfilment in distractions, noise, busyness or entertainment. Our minds become so cluttered that our ears ring in moments of silence. Most people have forgotten what it means to sit still! To still our thoughts, to quiet our souls (mind, will and emotions). As Anne Morrow Lindbergh once wrote, “when the noise stops, there is no inner music to take its place.” Cultivating solitude, silence and stillness tunes up our inner instrument to enable the music to be brought forth once again. Solitude creates the stable foundation on which to build quality activities that will actually make a difference in the world around us.

“The commotion of the world can confuse us, seduce us, and suck us into a false reality that has little to do with transcendent, eternal lives.” – John Michael Talbot

The noise of the world has a way of distracting us from the deeper realities of life. We become “preoccupied with the superficial at the expense of the meaningful” as it “deafens our souls and subdues our hearts.” (JMT)

Don’t misunderstand: Solitude isn’t about running from the world; it’s about running toward God, to know Him better and to open ourselves to His presence, thereby learning more about ourselves in the process. It’s learning to hear and respond to His call amid the commotion of life.

St. John of the Cross wrote, “Contemplation is nothing else but a secret, peaceful and loving infusion of God, which, if admitted, will set the soul on fire with the Spirit of love.”
The goal of solitude is not only to quieten a noisy world, but is also a tool to quiet our souls, often wracked by tension and confusion. Priest and author Henri Nouwen described it aptly: “Your inner life is like a banana tree filled with monkeys jumping up and down.”

Even back in St. Francis’ day (13th century), silence was a precious commodity – or they wouldn’t have spent such time and effort to find and guard it! It’s never come easy to humans; from the time Adam and Eve hid themselves in the garden from the presence of the Lord, Mankind has been basically hiding behind the camouflage of chaos and worry ever since. Solitude is a way of coming out of hiding to reconnect with our Maker. It facilitates deeper service to ourselves and for others by deepening our understanding of God and ourselves.

How to find it? How do you make space in your schedule, home and life to reveal yourself to God, inviting Him to reveal Himself to you? Create a space in your home, or select a place of true stillness (a park isn’t necessarily a good idea – it’s a magnet of distractions as others also go to find “a moment’s peace”). Clear the area you choose as much as possible, but don’t expect it to be perfect! Rather, use the distractions as tools for brief prayers: A slamming door? Bless that neighbour or family member, and let it go, returning your attention to God. A barking dog? Thank God for His creativity and its expression in nature, then let it go. Make a space to pull back into, and do it!

When I was in missions, I slept on a bottom bunk; my quiet space was my bed hidden by a sheet “curtain” tucked under the bed above. My roommates soon learned to be still themselves when they saw that curtain go up, and the room either became peaceful, or empty!

Don’t be afraid of silence. If you fear what might lurk inside, be aware that God already knows what’s there, and He wants to help and heal you through to the freedom and strength of Solitude.

[My thoughts from the chapter on Solitude in “The Lessons of St. Francis”, by John Michael Talbot.]

Photo: Original Source Unknown

No Strings Attached

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Mon, 23 Aug 2010 23:25:00 +0000

There are those rare moments in life when you know all is right between you and the world; those times when cares seem miles away, and you’re simply in the moment, enjoying it with no strings attached.

Some of my favourite childhood memories are just such moments, and the smell of freshly rain-dampened earth brings them flooding back. I grew up in a large, old house built in the 1830’s. Wooden floors squeaked just right, and a large wooden porch ran along the entire front of the house. On summer evenings when a terrific Kansas thunderstorm would let loose, my parents, my brother and I would spontaneously gather on the porch with woollen blankets and pillows in tow. We had 2 large wooden porch swings hung to face each other, and we’d stretch out on those, facing the yard to simply soak in the moment. We’d cuddle under the blankets, and whisper if we spoke at all, just basking in the sensual event of nature: The gusts of the wind, the smell the earth, the sounds of the rain as it plinked from the gutter, swished along the tree leaves, splat on the concrete sidewalk, dashed against the wooden house, and misted up from the warm, wet earth. My favourite was the inaudible gasp of nature just before a bolt of lightening ripped loose, and then counting between the flash and the rumble to see how many miles away it had been. That smell of summer-baked earth steaming under cool droplets rose in an invasion of the senses, overriding every other smell, with the only exception being the wet-but-contented dog.

To this day, the aroma of wet earth is one of the most comforting I know. It reminds me that life goes on, that God has set natural processes into motion that give life to this earth; but more than that – He made it smell and taste warm and brown, made the orchestra of nature sound lovely, made the sight beautiful of glistening leaves, rain-dripping blades of grass and heightened colours of wet life, and even made running in the warm summer rain a pleasure and delight. He gave me senses to perceive it all. Each one of those things is a gift from a loving God, made beautiful in their moments of simple pleasure.

Photo: Taken in New Zealand, 2007

Simplicity

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Wed, 18 Aug 2010 13:58:00 +0000

Lately I’ve been reading “The Lessons of St. Francis”, by John Michael Talbot. I highly recommend the book for those of you seeking simplicity and spirituality in your daily lives. Here are a few thoughts of my own, and quotes from his chapter on Simplicity:

“Voluntarily submitting our lives to an ongoing pruning process removes our irregularities, trims our unproductive growth, and prepares us for a future of fruitfulness and productivity.”

Recently I pruned our lemon tree; it had been leafy, but on close examination I saw that it was sick, covered with a pest. I lobbed the infested and weakened parts off, and a few days later it had burst forth with new flowers that will soon turn to lemons. It’s the very process of pruning that enabled it to blossom to full potential. St. Francis of Assisi didn’t see simplicity as a specialized discipline for a select few sequestered away; he instead saw it as the fertile soil from which all other spiritual virtues sprang, and as a prerequisite for our becoming both fully human and fully spiritual. Henry David Thoreau wrote, “Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify.” Gandhi once said, “Live simply so that others may simply live.”

If we live our lives engrossed in “the cares and chaos of this world”, we cease to fix our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith (Hebrews 12:2).

St. Francis recommended simplicity in this form: Practice equality in a world of savage disparity. Harking back to Paul’s advice in 2. Corinthians 8:14, “At the present time your plenty will supply what they need, so that in turn their plenty will supply what you need. Then there will be equality.” Francis didn’t stop to calculate how practicing what Jesus lived might hurt his reputation or career, or cramp his lifestyle. He’d spent the first half of his life as a wealthy playboy; he knew firsthand about riches, socialites and the intoxication of money. But when Christ found him, he lived his faith through his life more than through rhetoric. He once said, “Preach always. If necessary use words.”

As any good pruner knows, they must focus on the out-of-control limbs and leaves, not attack the roots, trunk, or essential parts necessary to the tree’s health. So it is with our own lives – we don’t have to dive into abject poverty to reach simplicity. The most important step in the process involves distinguishing between WANTS and NEEDS. Advertisings’ primary aim is to blur the distinction between the two, and if you’ve grown up in a consumer culture, learning the distinction can be a confusing process. “Not all wants are bad. But a life consumed by fulfilling all our wants is a recipe for frustration and unhappiness.” And, I would add, addictive discontentment.

Every day we’re confronted with hundreds of choices, many unimportant in the grand scheme of things. But if we will consistently apply the principle of simplicity to even the mundane, we can begin to live simply despite the world’s tendencies around us. By pruning through simplicity we can not only cut back on energy drains in our lives, but channel that energy toward future growth.

How can you simplify your life? Your possessions? What do you have around the house that merely collects dust, or what clothes do you have in your closet that you rarely wear? Find someone that it would benefit more, or an organization that will distribute such goods to those who need them. Prune your closet, prune your home, prune your kitchen cupboards. The less clutter we have the more free we become.

“The practice of simplicity is neither simple nor easy... it requires pruning, cutting things away, sometimes with pain. But in the long run this is a practice that enables us to live life with more joy, peace and happiness... Simplicity is God’s grand antidote to a culture of money and madness.”

Illustration: Unknown

Well-Seasoned

noreply@blogger.com (Stephanie -) — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:37:00 +0000

Salt is the oldest spice in the world; gathered along dried seashores from evaporated tidal pools, hunter-gatherers soon learned to value it. Even as far back as 6,000 BC, intentional salt production (by boiling and evaporating sea water) has been around. The word brings quite a few things to mind, from culinary to military to spiritual: One speaks of “seasoned soldiers” – those who’ve seen action and have learned how to respond rightly in a crisis. And seasoned just right, even a lowly carrot can become an explosion of taste on the palette. In Colossians 4:6, Paul uses a culinary metaphor: “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

Salt preserves and adds flavour – bringing out the potential of flavour within the thing it’s added to. It enhances a sweet melon or a slice of meat. Applying the qualities of salt to our speech, let it always be full of good taste, preserving the honour of those with and about whom we speak, bringing out their potential, enhancing them. Such speech is applicable in every situation; such a reply is never wrong.

How we say something is at least as important as what we say; that’s the salt of the matter. Politicians and journalists are masters of that concept. And I think we sometimes misinterpret specific Bible passages because we forget this principle: For example, how many have ever felt that Jesus was unfair to the woman in Matthew 15:26? It was an insensitive reply, completely unlike Jesus and the character of God, right? Exactly. As God is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Hebrews 13:8), logically we must assume that our perception of that passage in Matthew is wrong if we think Jesus intended to be rude or belittling. Take a look at the whole chapter: Jesus had just explained to his disciples that it is what comes out of the heart that makes a man unclean; he was testing his disciples, to see if they had understood. When the Canaanite woman came to him, at first he said nothing... perhaps to see how his disciples would respond. When they urged him to send her away, he spoke to the woman; but her faith was not only great, she also understood the twinkle in his eye (I can’t imagine there not being a twinkle, the hint of a smile) and took him up on it with her reply; he was “mocking” the disciples’ (typical of the times) attitudes toward this woman and her kind (non-Jews). She replied in the same spirit of jest, and Jesus responded by healing her daughter. It was about how it was said, not just what was said. Seasoned with a healthy dose of sarcasm, Jesus was pointing out to the disciples that this woman was worthy to have her request granted because of her faith – that which comes out of the heart. It was God’s love and humour coming through, not a sudden outburst of rudeness and insensitivity.

As you go into this coming day, think about how to be the Salt of the earth (Matthew 5:15) – to be full of good taste, preserving the honour of those with and about whom you speak, bringing out their potential, enhancing them...