Canthook

Eat, Eat, Eat - and Always Stay Thin!

Harl Delos — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 09:52:52 +0000

Sanitized tapeworms! What a great idea! (This ad apparently dates back about 80 years.)

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
tapeworms - weight loss

Shirt-Tail Relations

Harl Delos — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 02:24:43 +0000

Charlie Brown had that cute little redhead with the curly hair, that he never had the courage to say anything to. I had Dolly.

You know, of course, that I rarely use peoples' real names here. It's not usually that I don't remember them, although I have trouble remembering my own name at times. It's that I figure they deserve some privacy. I rarely write about someone I don't care for and respect, but their lives may have gone in a direction where they want to forget the past.

And my version of what happened may not match their memories. Heck, between senility and mad cow's disease, my wife says I write nothing but fiction, and of course, her mind is almost as old as mine is, as are many of those I write about.

I mention this primarily because Dolly's actual name suited her to a tee, and I'm sorely displeased that I oughtn't reveal it here.

Still Perfect

I may be still crazy after all these years, but Dolly had the face of an angel, the eyes of a Guernsey, and hair that, years later, Farrah Fawcett would have envied. It was long and more wavey than curly, lush and rich.

I don't know why women get called "cow" as an insult, for cows have warm and friendly faces, and beautiful huge eyes that you can drown in, with generous eyelashes. When you wash down a cow before milking her, gently applying the warm soapy water so that she's not only clean, but she relaxes and lets down her milk, she lets you know how she feels about the whole affair. Some cows will kick you, or at least try to, and they'll swat you with their tail, viciously. Others will turn their heads, bat their eyes at you, and tell you they love you.

And eyes, no question about it, are a key element to a woman's beauty. But her hair is make-or-break.

8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.
9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.
-- 1 Corinthians 11

I feel a little guilty, quoting Paul's letter to the Corinthians. Corinth was a major seaport, and their local economy was built on caring for the needs of the sailor. There were nice restaurants, and bars, and places to gamble, and there were many, er, uh, "professional" women, for life at sea can be lonely. I've never been to sea, but I know it surely must be lonely at sea, because life on land can be painfully lonely at times.

And perhaps Paul was suggesting this in a letter to Corinth, because he knew how important it was that those working in restaurants, and bars, and gambling houses made sailors feel comforted, not just those who walked the streets.

Finally

When the cute little girl says something to Charlie Brown, he stutters, and stammers, and makes a fool of himself. Pretty much the same thing happened to me, when Dolly first noticed I exist, but I suspect the cute little girl understood why Charlie Brown was all kerfuffled, and was honored and gratified. I know that Dolly was similarly kind, and she continued to talk to me.

She sat two rows over and three seats back, and I imagine the teacher saw more of the back of my head than the front that day. I had this habit of asking questions when I got bored, questions that were impossible to answer, so teachers were always thrilled to have me ignoring class and reading a book instead. The teacher on that day was smart enough not to ask me to turn around and pay attention to the class, because I'd have been annoyed at that, and I'd have asked really difficult questions in retaliation.

But, darn it, Dolly was a good student, and she spent most of her time paying attention to the teacher or looking at her study materials.

The Denouement

"You seem awfully happy," Mama commented, when I got home. Normally, she'd already be teaching piano lessons by then, and I wouldn't see Mama until 9 PM, but I guess a student didn't show up.

It being a rare thing that anyone asked about my life, I bubbled forth. What's her name, Mama asked, and I told her. Don't get too smitten, she said. That's your cousin. No, no, it couldn't be. Her dad runs the movie house over in the next county. And then she told me how Dolly and I were related. We weren't first cousins, it was more like third cousin, twice removed or something like that.

And that's when I learned that your family didn't just consist of older siblings who would beat you up all the time, and distant relatives who would show up at Thanksgiving and Easter to make your life miserable, and who would die, meaning that I would have to put on those uncomfortable Sunday clothes, the ones with the shirt that wouldn't button around my neck, and the tie that strangled me, and the suit coat that was two sizes two small and kept my shoulders bent backwards in a painful arch. Relatives also existed so that the first damned time a girl gave me the time of day, she'd be off-limits. Fardles, there just ain't no justice in this world.

More Family

Years later, almost decades later, I was living near a big city close enough to my home grounds that the obituaries would sometimes appear in the city newspaper. And I saw a name I recognized. It was Mama's cousin.

Mama played organ at the church not just on Sunday, but for most of the weddings and funerals as well. When I was little, I had to go along because if I were left at home with older siblings, they might kill me, and that would be uncomfortable to deal with. And when I was older, I was often ordered to go because I supposedly knew the person who was being buried. A lot of those I only recognized as old women who reeked of lilac, or older men who, well, I'm not sure what they smelled of. Maybe mothballs?

And once in a while, there was someone I actually felt like I knew, and I'd say to someone in the family that I was sorry for their sadness, and that I'd miss whoever had passed. And since they hadn't beaten up on me like my older siblings, it was usually true.

My Goodness, He's Changed!

So I went to the funeral home for visitation. He did not look at all like I expected. And sometimes, people lose a lot of weight in their last year or two, but in this case, the departed was taller and heavier-set than I remembered. I asked if he had been sick long, and was told that it had been six months or so. A couple of people asked me how I knew the deceased, and I explained that we were distantly related on Mama's side.

I excused myself, and went out to the house about 9, and Mama had just finished up her last piano lesson. I told her I'd been at the funeral home, and thought I'd say "hi" before I headed back to my family. She wondered why I'd bothered to go, and I said, well, I saw the obit, and I knew we were related, and I was suffering from cabin fever and needed to get out of the house anyway.... And I mentioned that he looked a lot different than I remembered.

She didn't know that I knew he was a relative, or that I had ever met him. Sure, I said, when he worked at so-and-so's. Suddenly, a light came on in her eyes. She had never thought about it before, she said, but she had two relatives by that name, who were not related to each other otherwise, and the one I knew had died five years earlier.

Which cleared up the mystery, but it sure seemed like a waste of mourning.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
Charlie Brown - Corinthians - cow - eyes - Farrah Fawcett - funerals - hair - lilac perfume - Paul - piano lessons - shirt-tail relatives

Size DOES Matter

Harl Delos — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 22:48:26 +0000

Many of our readers will not remember when Black became Beautiful.

In the 1950s, the polite term was "negro". That's a word that means "black" in Spanish, and in Portuguese. Nero Wolfe, the famous fictional detective created by Rex Stout, came from Montenegro, on the Adriatic Sea. The name of the country, in montenegrin, means "black mountain".

Stokley Carmichael, a name that struck fear in the hearts of many "caucasian" Americans, said in 1966, "We have to stop being ashamed of being black. A broad nose, a thick lip, and nappy hair is us, and we are going to call that beautiful whether they like it or not."

He Wasn't The First

The actual phrase "Black is Beautiful" seems to have originated in a speech given in 1858 by John Sweat Rock, one of the first blacks to earn a medical degree, and the first black admitted to practice before the Supreme Court of the United States. He used the phrase to discourage the use of skin bleachers, and hair straighteners.

The phrase was pretty much lost, though, as the majority of blacks found it easier to get along if they accepted lower social status, and there were plenty of whites who promoted that very thing. Things started to change, though, when Harry Truman ordered the desegregation of the US military, by executive order. It's not clear what prompted Truman to do that. The record of black military units, especially the buffalo soldiers, was obviously a significant factor. Harry grew up in a socially progressive family, and probably had been taught by his parents that racism was smack-dab wrong. His wife, Bess, probably was a factor as well.

There's a story about Harry talking to a ladies garden club, and he kept referring to organic soil adjuvant as "manure". One of the ladies in the group spoke to Bess afterwards, and said it was a very nice talk, and very useful, but possibly Bess could convince him to use the term "fertilizer" instead of "manure". Bess gave out a belly laugh. You have no idea, she said, how difficult it was to get him to start saying "manure"!

Then Came Oliver Brown

The Reverend Mr. Oliver L. Brown, a welder in the shops of the Santa Fe Rail Road on weekdays, and assistant pastor of his church on Sundays, led a group of 13 parents of 20 children in suing the Topeka, Kansas board of education over segregation. Linda Brown, his daughter, had to walk six blocks to catch a bus to a school a mile away, when there was a white school 7 blocks away.

Most people don't remember - or never knew - that Brown v. Board of Education was one of five cases heard together by the Supreme Court; there were also cases from South Carolina, Virginia, Delaware, and the District of Columbia. They also don't remember or never know that Topeka had integrated its high schools since 1941, and only the lower grades were segregated. What they may remember are the roadsign signs that appeared for more than a decade afterwards: "Impeach Earl Warren."

It's worth remembering that Earl Warren was nominated to be Chief Justice of the Supreme Court by Eisenhower, and everyone expected him to be a strict constructionist of the U.S. Constitution. That's the funny thing about Supreme Court justices - they sometimes read the Constitution, and act as if it means what it says instead of rubber stamping bigotry of long standing.

Blackie Was Prejorative

I remember a lot of black dogs named "Nig" or "Nigger" in the 1950s. The word Niger, just as the word Negro, means black, and the countries of Niger and Nigeria got their name from the Niger River (although most people pronounce it Ny-gurr instead of Nigger.) I suppose there's nothing inherently offensive about that, but polite people of good breeding didn't use such disrespectful and offensive terms.

There was even a heirarchy of such terms. Just as one progresses from daggoned to drat to darn to damn, one saw gradations of increasing offensiveness as one went from negro to colored to darkie to blackie to nigger.

And yet, it wasn't that simple. My grandfather watched the news on television in the 1960s, and complained bitterly about darkies, and about blackies, as he would later whine about hippies. One day, I challenged him. One member of the threshing ring we belonged to was black, and they were treated pretty much like any other member of the ring. Another member of that family had a shoe repair shop in town, and in winter, Grandpa would often go to town to sit in the shoe shop, next to the glowing pot-bellied stove, and talk to the proprietor. It appeared to me as if the shoe repairman was his best friend. At various times when I had shoe problems, I would be dropped off at the shoe repair shop on a Saturday, and spend an hour or two while my only pair of shoes was re-soled, re-heeled, or stitched, and the proprietor would talk to me, and laugh, and sometimes tell jokes which I was supposed to repeat to my grandfather.

Grandpa was upset with me. Don't you call him a darkie! I was talking about city niggers. They're lazy, shiftless, different than that.

It Was Only Days

It was only days later that I heard on the television that the term "negro" was offensive, and that "Black was beautiful". It upset my sense of order, gave me stomach cramps. Lest I be thought racist, I dare not use the old term "negro" in front of anyone enlightened about the new terminology, and dare not use the new term "black" in front of anyone not away of the sea change. And it took several years for everyone to make the adjustment, the older folks taking longer. It didn't help that when you asked a person of broad nose, thick lips and nappy hair which term they favored, they would say, "I'd rather you call me Paul, or Olivia or whatever their christian name was." (There needs to be a discussion at some point on that term; does it apply to a jewish person, for instance. But I'm already deep in, and I haven't gotten around to the subject of Little People.)

I've often wondered if that phenomenon nudged Alvin Toeffler to write "Future Shock" in 1970. The timing is right.

The Fun Aspect

The fun part of the phenomenon was watching exchanges between bigots and blacks. There'd be some rude comment from the bigot, and the target would say, "Why, yes, I am black! I bet you wished that you were so attractive!" It's not always true that bigots are ugly in appearance; some of the ugliest acts are performed by people with fairly attractive faces. On the other hand, the rudest language often came from guys with ears flapping in the breeze, weak chins, hawk beak noses, extreme acne, their hair cut extremely short but poorly, whitewalls above the ears, and clothing that Goodwill Industries would bale for sale to rug factories.

Mama coined Clark's Law about that time: the less power someone has, the more they are apt to exert it. She pointed out that if you have a problem with a company, if you go to the company president, he will usually give you an adjustment so generous that you'll not only be happy, you'll be overjoyed, while if you try to deal with the third assistant deputy to the associate gopher, he'll just go "Hmmph!" and refuse to make things right. She suggested that if you don't have much social standing, it's important to tramp on those who have even less, to make sure that you're not on rock bottom.

The Fat Underground

In the 1960s, a number of fat people got together and formed the National Association to Aid Fat Americans. This group later split, the larger group changing its name to the National Association for the Advancement of Fat Acceptance, and the smaller group becoming the Fat Underground. The smaller group was the more radical of the two, and the initials give you a clue to their attitude. The name of the NAAFA indicates their impotence. "Please, sir, just accept me." In any negotiation, you're apt to get far less than you ask for, and the NAAFA is thus doomed to failure.

On the other hand, the fat-acceptance movement consists mostly of women, and while most women are insecure, fat women are excessively so. Camryn Mannheim, about as bold and brassy as a woman gets, said she spent too many years as the fat girl standing by the punch bowl, instead of being in the middle of the floor, dancing up a storm. You're not going to succeed with an organization, mostly of women, if your initials and attitude are "FU". Maybe it's impossible for today's women to succeed in this mission.

One thing they did, though, was to embrace the word "fat". It's not a four-letter word. It's plain, factual, non-judgmental. If you say someone is overweight, the assertion is that a) there is a correct weight, and b) you're not there. Marilyn Wann set up a website called "fatso". Yes, I'm fat. So? And you have to wonder why, in the 1960s, the anti-racism movement didn't embrace the word "nigger" as well, turning it into an acceptable term, and denying the racists of their most effective weapon to inflict emotional pain. Instead, they tried to turn "honky" into a perjorative, which wasn't particularly effective.

A Little Problem

The group Little People of America is calling on the FCC to ban the word midget from the public airways. They were upset by an April episode of NBC's "Celebrity Apprentice" in which contestants were to come up with a laundry detergent advertisement.

Contestants, including Joan Rivers, suggested bathing little people in the detergent and hanging them to dry, in an ad called "Jesse James and the Midgets."

While I'm sympathetic to LPA - Joan Rivers and Donald Trump seem to revel in being offensive - I can't support their move. The FCC can only regulate the content of broadcast television; the "seven words you can't say on television" can be said on satellite/cable channels. The broadcast networks are already losing more and more viewers to the satellite/cable channels. If I inherited a broadcast station from a distant relative and terms of the inheritance were that I had to operate the station, not sell it, I'd work hard to develop local content to replace syndicated and network programming. It's simply a lot cheaper to throw a channel like Bravo or ESPN or CNN up on a satellite, rather than to feed all those local affiliates of ABC, CBS, NBC, or FOX. That extra money means they can produce more appealing content.

Not to mention the problem that broadcasters would have with show of USAC midget racing.

And is "little people" such a great term? The first thing I think of, when I hear "little people" is the quote by Leona Helmsley, asserting that in 1989, "We don't pay taxes. Only the little people pay taxes." Little people are invisible, they're impotent, they're to be used. To Fisher-Price, Little People is a toy produced since the 1960s. Weebles wobble, but apparently Little People fall down.

One Size Doesn't Fit All

Confused about the terms midget, dwarf, stunted, pygmy, etc.? You're not alone. And "Little People" includes quite a few different conditions. You can join Little People of America if you're 4'10" or shorter, or have someone that short in your family, or you simply have a well-demonstrated interest in short-stature people.

There is not just SEDc, which is spondyloepiphyseal dysplasia congenita, and diastrophic dysplasia and Kneist Syndrome but several other phenomena which are lumped together by the Little People of America.

For instance, Billy Barty had cartilage hair hypoplasia, also known as McKusick type metaphyseal chondrodysplasia. It's a rare form of short-limbed dwarfism, first identified in 1965 - but many of us knew of Billy Barty in the Wizard of Oz, filmed in the 1930s.

And there doesn't appear to be a medical term for the Magilla Gorillas of the world, such as myself. My mother described me as "long waisted" in talking to clothing clerks, but in fact, I'm built like a tall person from the hips on up, with fairly short legs. This being enough of a megillah already, I'll stop here.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
- Alvin Toeffler - bigotry - Billy Barty - Black Is Beautiful - buffalo soldier - Camryn Mannheim - cartilate hair hyplasia - Clark's Law - diastropic dysplasia - Donald Trump - Earl Warren - Fat Underground - FCC - Fisher-Price - Future Shock - Goodwill Industries - Harry S Truman - Jesse James - Joan Rivers - John Sweat Rock - Kneist syndrome - Leona Helmsley - Little People of America - Magilla Gorilla - Marilyn Wann - Montenegro - NAAFA - Nero Wolfe - Oliver L. Brown - SEDc - Stokley Carmichael - Weebles

Magnitude 6.0 Quake In Panama

Harl Delos — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 01:01:22 +0000

There were cracks in two luxury high-rise apartment buildings in Panama City, and residents went rushing into the streets, as an earthquake struck; Arturo Alvarado, the country's director of Civil Defense, said there were no reports of any injuries.

Magnitude 6.0 There are only 2 earthquakes per century this strong in this area.

It occurred at 02:49:36 AM (EDT) New York time

Location: 9.654°N, 78.983°W +/- 5.2 km (3.2 miles)
95 km (60 miles) NE of Panama City, Panama
105 km (65 miles) ENE of Colon, Panama
165 km (105 miles) NNW of La Palma, Panama
245 km (155 miles) NE of Las Tablas, Panama

Depth: 43.1 km (26.8 miles) +/- 8.6 km (5.3 miles)

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
earthquake - Panama

Her glory shall rest on us all

Harl Delos — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 23:11:35 +0000

Come and take a walk with me thru this green and growing land
Walk thru the meadows and the mountains and the sand
Walk thru the valleys and the rivers and the plains
Walk thru the sun and walk thru the rain

Here is a land full of power and glory
Beauty that words cannot recall
Oh her power shall rest on the strength of her freedom
Her glory shall rest on us all (on us all)

From Colorado, Kansas, and the Carolinas too
Virginia and Alaska, from the old to the new
Texas and Ohio and the California shore
Tell me, who could ask for more?

Yet she's only as rich as the poorest of her poor
Only as free as the padlocked prison door
Only as strong as our love for this land
Only as tall as we stand

But our land is still troubled by men who have to hate
They twist away our freedom & they twist away our fate
Fear is their weapon and treason is their cry
We can stop them if we try

-- Phil Ochs, "Power And The Glory"

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
Independence Day - Phil Ochs - Power and Glory

Sarah Palin Declares Her Independence

Harl Delos — Sat, 04 Jul 2009 01:28:43 +0000

There's an old piano
And they play it hot behind the green door
Don't know what they're doin'
But they laugh a lot behind the green door
Wish they'd let me in
So I could find out what's behind the green door

They're running around like chickens with their heads cut off, over on MSNBC. What's Sarah Palin doing? What does this mean?

Everybody is asserting that this move is crazy. She'll never become president, pulling a stunt like this. She'll never have any future in politics at all.

For their own reasons, nobody wants to listen to Sarah Palin. Strangest thing I've ever heard, claim the pundits. But it's not strange at all. All you have to do is to listen to what she says. Sarah Palin isn't your slick Washington politician. She says some dumb things, but she's generally a straight shooter. It seems very reasonable to me that Sarah Palin is telling the truth: that she doesn't want to run for governor again, that she doesn't want to be governor any more, that she doesn't plan on running for President, not in 2012, not ever.

Knocked once, tried to tell them I'd been there
Door slammed, hospitality's thin there
Wond'rin' just what's goin' on in there

I tried watching CNN, but they're busy with Michael Jackson. The only one on MSNBC that's making any sense at all is Chuck Todd, who happens to be the one who figured out the 2008 election when everybody else was headed in every other direction. Chuck Todd has this strange tendency to think clearly instead of following conventional wisdom. It's no wonder that Tim Russert had been grooming him to become his heir apparent, had only Tim lived a few more years so that Chuck could get more seasoning.

Chuck points out that the Palin family isn't particularly wealthy - but they could easily become wealthy in the next year or so. Todd makes about $60,000 as an engineer for BP. He's barely breaking even on his snow machine racing. The family owns a fishing boat, but it only brought in a few thousand last year. Raising five children isn't cheap, especially when you consider that everything, everything, in Alaska is more expensive, due to the shipping.

Saw an eyeball peepin'
Through a smoky cloud behind the green door
When I said Joe sent me
Someone laughed out loud behind the green door
All I want to do is join the happy crowd behind the green door

Sarah Palin could make a small fortune appearing at fund-raisers - except that Alaskan law prohibits that of their governor. Being governor gives her a little prestige, but the money it pays isn't nearly what she could make on the lecture circuit.

And as governor, and a potential candidate for the presidency, she's a sitting duck for criticism. The latest thing is the Vanity Fair article. Before that, it was the David Letterman falderal.

She's got more on her plate than any reasonable person would want. The only reason to remain governor would be if one expected to run for President - but it doesn't look like Barack is having a lot of fun these days, even if Palin could ever be elected. As the apparent front runner, she's drawing fire from every Democrat, from every Republican who has his own ambitions, and from every late night comic. Who needs all that crap?

Midnight, one more night without sleepin'
Watchin' till that mornin' comes creepin'
Green door, what's that secret you're keepin'

Michael Steele, head of the Republican National Committee, wrote me a letter Monday morning. "I want you to know that the Republican Party is not dead and we are not going away," he wrote, and the underlines on those words are his. Methinks he doth protest too much. It's looking pretty dire for the GOP, and it's about time to request that the last person to leave the party, turn out the lights. He also makes a boldfaced request: "I'm asking you to please not turn your back on us now." If the party is not dead and isn't going away, why would it be necessary to make a plea like this? Even after the 1964 election, the GOP sounded determined, not pathetic.

Somehow, though, I'm reminded of Ronald Reagan's comments in 1962: "I didn't leave the Democratic Party. It left me." The Republican Party in recent years has become vastly different than the Republican Party that I grew up with. Republicans fiercely defended the US Constitution, including all ten amendments of the Bill of Rights. Today, they defend the second amendment and hate the other nine. Traditionally, Republicans fought to sustain the tried and true. Today, they want to try wacko new ideas. Traditionally, Republicans have been in favor of a strong national defense, because that's how you avoid war. Today, they want to fritter away our military strength by fighting without need, destroying our preparedness. Traditionally, Republicans has been the friend of honest farmers, fishermen, professionals, and small businessmen. Today, it's the friend of crooks that run major corporations.

There's an old piano
And they're playin' hot behind the green door
Don't know what they're doin'
But they laugh a lot behind the green door
Wish they'd let me in
So I could find out what's behind the green door

Sarah Palin has a book contract. She'll go on the road, dragging her kids with her, and a lot of people will buy hardcover books in order to go to book signings, and meet the family. She'll appear at fundraisers for GOP candidates, and pocket some handsome honoraria. She'd be popular at fundamentalist religious rallies, as well.

She's trained as a journalist. Roger Ailes offered Mike Huckabee a television show of his own, but Sarah Palin is far more popular than Huck, and would command a significantly higher salary - and if he doesn't step up with enough loot, syndicators would be glad to package a Palin show. She probably wouldn't match Oprah's ratings, but it's certainly reasonable to expect her to match Tyra Banks or Rachel Ray.

It's not that her political views are so popular, so much as the fact that she's exceedingly personable. She's a superstar.

Saw an eyeball peepin'
Through a smoky cloud behind the green door
When I said Joe sent me
Someone laughed out loud behind the green door
All I want to do is join the happy crowd behind the green door
Wish they'd let me in
So I could find out what's behind the green door

Sarah Palin, with her five kids, has much of the appeal of Jon and Kate. By renouncing public office for herself, she can become the point man for the Republican party. God knows, the GOP is looking for something to coalesce around.

I'm not sure that the GOP can survive as a major party if it continues to espouse the politics of the John Birch Society, and that's what Sarah Palin represents. They can survive through the 2012 election, though, and perhaps even through the 2016 election - and that's plenty of time for Sarah Palin to earn enough money to keep her family flush for the next three generations.

In 1977, Dr. Harry Dimond asserted to me that if you can't understand what's going on, you should follow the money. I can't say that Dimond's Law has always worked - but it's been rare that it's failed.

Maybe people should do the unthinkable, and take Sarah Palin at her word. She knows she's been Quayled, and she can't ever be President. She's taken a look at what Barack Obama is having to put up with, and she's decided that she doesn't really want to be president, anyway. But she would like to be rich, and she's like to play a part in shaping this country's future. She doesn't need to do that from behind the Governor's desk - and she's decided to put an end to all that hassle.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
Chuck Todd - David Letterman - Dimond's Law - fund-raisers - journalist - Michael Steele - Mike Huckabee - resignation - Ronald Reagan - Sarah Palin - TV show - Vanity Fair - wealth

5 Naked Pictures Of My Mum

Harl Delos — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:32:59 +0000

We're advised that this sale was taken down by the auction site.

Sounds like a good way for a kid to get kicked out of the house, doesn't it?

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
5 naked pictures - auction - garage - mum - revenge

The Madonna Nudes

Harl Delos — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 15:55:09 +0000

Today, Brighton's Impure Art in London is opening the most important exhibit it's ever displayed. It's an exhibition of nudes by a 20-year-old Madonna - she's fifty now.

They describe themselves as "the most intriguing, controversial and sexy art gallery in the UK". The show runs through the 19th.

Madonna got $30 to pose for these pictures at Parsons School of Design in 1979. The prints are being offered for sale by photographer Martin Schreiber for $5572 each (3400 british pounds). Some of the pictures were published in the September 1985 Playboy, and in a 1990 book.

A Groucho Take

Whenever I hear of high prices for pictures of nekkid wimmen, I am reminded of the film "I Am Curious - Yellow", a foreign flick which was screened by daring theatres across the US about 1968 or so. At that time, it cost about 75c to see most movies, but admission to IACY was $5.

Groucho said that he went to see the movie, but when he got to the theatre, he saw the price, and went back home. He took off his clothes and stood before the mirror. It wasn't worth the $5, he decided.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
Brighton's Impure Art - Groucho Marx - I Am Curious - Yellow - Madonna - nude - Parson's School of Design - Playboy

United's Grounded At O'Hare

Harl Delos — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:57:18 +0000

Just in time for the 4th of July weekend, a computer problem has grounded all United Air Lines at O'Hare today. Chicago is a major hub for United, so it is causing many problems system-wide.

O'Hare is known as ORD, because before being renamed for WWII pilot Butch O'Hare, who won the Congressional Medal of Honor for "one of the most daring, if not the most daring, single action in the history of combat aviation", the airport was called "Orchard Field".

Terminal Swamped

According to WGN, it's backed up so bad that there's a crowd of about 2000 people standing outside the United terminal.

On their website, United is saying:

For travel at Chicago O’Hare: We are currently experiencing some delays and cancellations due to an airport check-in system issue. We advise customers to check-in on united.com, confirm the latest information on their flights, and allow extra time at the airport. We apologize for any inconvenience, and we are working to fix the issue.

There's an old joke among computer specialists that "to err is human, but to really fuck things up, you need a computer."

I'm told that among travel agents, the saying is "computers have problems, but to really fuck things up, you need United."

That's unkind, of course, and untrue. United may offer wretched air service, but nobody is worse than Northwest.

And to an old friend Jan "Fontwitch" Shrout, "Aren't you glad you're retired?" Jan used to be a slave for United at Detroit. Jan, if you see this, please give us a phone call.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
- computer glitch - Northwest Airlines - O'Hare - Orchard Field - United Airlines - WGN

Glenn Beck, Michael Scheuer WANT Bin Laden To Attack Us!

Harl Delos — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 14:32:33 +0000

When Glenn Beck runs out of stupid things to say, he's resourceful enough to have guests to say even stupider things. Wendy Gittleson of the Philadelphia Inquirer calls this statement by Michael Scheuer, head of the CIA's Osama Bin Laden unit from 1996 to 1999, "borderline treasonous."

Not The First Outrage

But this isn't the first really outrageous thing Glenn Beck has come up with. In May, 2005, Glenn Beck posed the question "What would people do for $50 million?" and asserted, "Would you kill someone for that?...I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore...I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it,...No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out. Is this wrong? I stopped wearing my What Would Jesus -- band -- Do, and I've lost all sense of right and wrong now. I used to be able to say, 'Yeah, I'd kill Michael Moore,' and then I'd see the little band: What Would Jesus Do? And then I'd realize, 'Oh, you wouldn't kill Michael Moore. Or at least you wouldn't choke him to death.' And you know, well, I'm not sure."

And people wonder why the GOP is exhibiting Cheyne-Stokes breathing, gasping for its last breath? With advocates like this, the only people staying in the GOP are Klansmen and Birchers.

Other Bloggers On Related Topics:
- Bin Laden - Glenn Beck - John Birch Society - Ku Klux Klan - Michael Moore - Michael Scheuer - Osama Bin Laden - Republican party