cape cod awesome

a favor....

2011-07-05T21:20:00.000-04:00

kiran sent a very moving email asking for the word to be spread about journey 4 a cure. they need votes. you can vote every single day, and every single vote can help. if you follow masala chica, you have heard the story of declan already, but if you haven't, please take a moment to read, and vote.

wine in bed & other verbal puke....

2011-06-22T21:51:00.000-04:00

as my title states, i am sitting on my bed enjoying a glass of wine and i feel like that is weird. is it weird? there is a reason for the insanity...moo was hot and antsy.

we don't have central air- long story, don't get manfriend started on it or he will be pissed off for approximately 4 days just by mentioning it, but the moo can't stand it. so he hits me and yells at me until we go into the bedroom and turn on the a/c. hence, drinking wine in bed. so that's that.

this is basically the scene. for the most part.

i've been having thoughts and feelings lately. i feel like i am in an odd position because nothing is going on in my life really other than a wedding. i know, that is like kind of a big deal, but i feel itchy talking about it. i have no bride gene.

so the problem arises, what the hell do i blog about? definitely not the millionty hours of work i have been doing.

at the moment all i can think about is that i am going to die on saturday. i know, peeps (ok, really just foxy) have been telling me i will be fine. but i am not in shape. even a little. and i am not a manly man. so i think i will probably die a hot, fiery death...

i will keep you posted if i live.

craigslist crazies...like the good old days

2011-06-13T21:44:00.000-04:00

can't fight it when a crazy throws itself into your lap. (that actually sounds like a pretty good time.)

anywho, finding a crazy on the cod is always my fave so this one got me a bit excited (i realize this is not normal).

this dude rocks.

(click to enlarge please. i'm not smart enough to figure this out)

yay for crazies from the cod.

what i've been up to.

2011-06-03T22:37:00.000-04:00

totally original and clever title, huh?

i'm already totally back to blogging like a pro.

anywho, i have been super busy falling, sneezing and not doing wedding shiz. it looked like this:

and obviously i have been working on my drawing skills, yo.

there. don't you feel like i was here all along now?

OH. one more thing. this has made home under my fridge,

bastard.

le sigh. just like the good old days. <3

oh, hey. look at that. i have a blog!

2011-06-03T12:24:00.000-04:00

i forgot for a minute....

i am totally copping out of this post too.

i really do miss blogging however, and am planning on searching craigslist for crazies like asap.

i tried to find a crazy, i swear

2011-03-15T15:53:00.000-04:00

i had an itch today. not like gross one or anything, but a serious hankering for some craigslist crazy in my life. i spent like an hour searching. seriously. everywhere from canada to mississippi to the jersey shore. nothing. well, one about a chick rubbing her lady lumps on the bus, laughing to herself and looking crazy, and the dude posting liked it because he says the crazy ones are good in bed (linked in case you are curious), but it felt a little too dirty- even for me. this isn't a porn site ya know. the only other good ones were in the "best of" section, and that is just cheating.

via google

so all that said- i wanted to post something and when i saw the surferwife got her shiz together enough to post something i was all "ok, the time has come."

i needed something easier than craigslist (there are not enough crazies out there lately...) so i thought i would browse my analytics so i can cry over my lack of visitors. then i saw how many people come to my blog by searching for nude men on cape cod and voila, a post is born.

this is just in the last month.

i took out the boring ones, but believe me when i tell you, for the past three months, most of the searches that lead to my blog have to do with panties (i don't even like that word), naked man ass, cape cod call girls, cape cod feel balls (seriously), funny farting pictures, jessica smith photos partially coherent bitch photobucket (huh.), shorn testicles (what does that mean?), it goes on and on.

oh and like 6 million people looking for tire irons, or car tools. i guarantee like 98% of the people who come here via google are seriously disappointed.

clearly i am doing exactly what i had hoped with my little piece of the internets.

it's hot.

2011-03-08T11:55:00.000-05:00

so i went a little crazy there for a minute and posted twice in one day like 3 years ago. that was wicked cool. but since then i have been extremely busy. mostly working on my fitness because i am completely over the fats. so in this recent attempt to get my skinnys back i have tried some stuff. some really freaky stuff. ok, not that freaky, although i am considering witchcraft seeing as these guys and gals clearly know what to do to fix things. (i am so sick of that story by the way, i can't even handle it.)

anyways- first, i tried bikram yoga. it was 90 minutes of this:

i don't even think this is a bikram pose, it was just the only one i could draw.

y'all. bikram is no joke. i didn't go back. i know- everyone says do more than one class, but my friend did a second class and she said it was just as torturous as the first so i took her word for it.

and it has been like two weeks of stuff like that. just replace the image above with one of me doing a lunge and instead of "it's hot" i am saying "this sucks", or riding a spin bike at 5:15 am saying "this sucks", or doing crunches and saying "this sucks". you get the idea- none of it has been pretty.

and if the scale doesn't budge this week, things are going to start to get real ugly around these parts. just a warning. in case you don't hear from me again for a while.

it's just that i don't want to die when i do this:

so that is what i have been up to.

i need to make some serious bloggy rounds and see what you have all been up to cuz i miss you all something fierce.

*images via google. except for me doing yoga and where i put in my face.

two posts in one day? clearly i have sprouted wings.

2011-02-10T14:17:00.000-05:00

cuz i am a pig. get it? i have sprouted wings. like pigs flying.

ok whatever.

i needed to get this out there because i am freaking out about it. i am straight up going to die in june. i hope you all will miss me terribly.

i am doing my first ever 5k. dumb, right?

oh it gets worse. i have to do this:

and this.

that's barbed wire, people.

i have googled the hell out of this shindig and i do see people of all ages, shapes, and sizes doing this race, but i am special breed of fat and lazy. i'm not positive that i am going to survive. it is very possible i will gasp for my last breath in that mud right there.

that's all. i just needed to express my concerns for my overall well being, and question my sanity.

(images via the warrior dash facebook page and google. well except for the pig with my face. that one is all my creative genius.)

surferwife for president.

2011-02-10T10:45:00.001-05:00

ok, so i know the like 11 people who still actually read my non-existent blog, most likely read the surferwife's as well. so you probably already know this. but, when i have chance to brag about my friends being the awesomeness, obviously i am going take it.

i know this is an old pic, but felt it was appropriate.

surferwife is saving the world, y'all. i mean hello, the children are our future. so go visit her to see the deets. and sign up for kidscause to save money, and the world all at once.

when a boston girl loved a new yorker.

2011-01-28T22:30:00.001-05:00

ok. i have another "feel good, make my teeth hurt, mushy gushy" kind of story. and it is long. but i promise i will get back to ridiculousness eventually. but then again, i suck at the blog as of late, so who the hell am i to promise anything. plus, i am writing this a few glasses of wine in, so who knows. this whole thing may come out like the disaster that is me.

so here we go.

once upon a time, back in 2009, i bought a jeep. it looks like this. basically. (i mean, this is mine, but i have like done some stuff. and not had it inspected or washed since august. or something.)

one day the battery was dead and my co-worker said that if we hit something under the hood with something metal the spark would jump the dead battery. so i said "OH. i have spare tire tools in the back, the thingy that takes the tire off is metal-ish." you know. the thing. that unscrews the bolts. or whatever. that is metal.

google says it is a tire iron. and google knows all.

ok. so we take out the tools, and underneath the tools i find a ring. huh. interesting. wait. battery is still dead and we are sitting in the parking lot of a pizza place. coincidentally, the same pizza place that sells the pizza with the honey. which is the same pizza that chelsea had back stage- but without the honey. and i am certain she hates me because i asked her if she got the pizza with the honey and she gave me a major ick face. wait. where was i going with this. oh yeah, so back to the dead battery, fyi, banging around under the hood with the metal thing did not work. however, upon a second, third and eleventyith try, it started. i have since gotten a new battery.

ok, the ring i found. it was big, manly and gold. it has a badge (or a shield if you live in NY apparently) and a number. this is looking quite police-ish. like manfriend is police-ish. mission find the owner commences. i would have wanted to find the owner no matter what, but the cop thing- it is like a brotherhood or whatever, ya know?

so my bff, she met this couple on her honeymoon on some tropical island like 5 years ago and they stayed friends. this couple- the dude is currently NYPD. so dude now needs to find me the owner of the ring based on the badge (shield) number because i said so. he disagreed. ok, not really. he is just really busy and works hard- i mean, hello it is NYPD- he tried, but had no luck- apparently NYPD has like a million officers and stuff. so that did not pan out. THEN. remember this? so in my frantic search for my fave bracelet, i literally rape my jeep. no crevice is safe. well, in my search i find old mail. that is addressed to someone in ny. dundunduunnnn. or *insert dramatic music here*.

so ~~lots of interwebs stalking later~~ long story short, i hit the point where i figure i will try snail mail. what the hell, right? i mail the guy a letter to the po box on the super old letter i found in between the seats of my jeep.

well, he got it. and he called me. mind blown. he is the sweetest guy like ever and am so happy i got to connect with him. his ring went in the mail this week. hopefully he will get it tomorrow, but i insured it to be on the safe side- you don't just throw something that has been missing for like 5 years in the mail all willy nilly.

fyi. this comes up when you google willy nilly.

AND his son, the second sweetest man alive called me tonight to thank me too. i feel a little bad because i had some wine and sounded all bostonish and probably a little lushy. but he sounded all new yorkey and i loved every second of it.

so that is my happy story for 2011. this is it. eff the wedding. no more mushy gushy happiness. i am getting cavities from this freaking blog. remember when i used to actually swear? ugh. i disgust me.

a trip down memory lane.

2011-01-18T21:56:00.001-05:00

things i miss...

cheeseballs. no, not the ones that come in giant tubs. these:

the gum that had the liquid in the center

better cheddars. i would sit on the beach and eat like an entire box. true story.

out of this world

small wonder

koosh balls (why were these cool?)

slap bracelets- totally gross side note: i am pretty sure these are the cause of my dysfunction today. i used to suck on mine. I KNOW. so gross. but for some reason i thought the artery slicing metal inside tasted delicious. and now i am the way i am.

my clear phone

clear pepsi- i didn't even really like it. but it was clear, so it was cool. see above.

ok ok. i'm done now.

as you can clearly see, my life has been incredibly boring. this is all i could come up with to blog about- that's bunk. i'm going to make an effort to drink more so i will have some more entertaining stories. or be more creative. or something.

my christmas story.

2010-12-28T10:31:00.000-05:00

something happened on christmas that made my ~~day~~ year. something so small, yet so sweet.

of course, manfriend was beyond good to me, as were my parents, and my friends. but it was a complete stranger than made me feel all christmasy inside.

via

i wish i could say this was my house. but i am not this talented at making things pretty.

when we were on my way to my parents we stopped to get gas and i decided to pop inside and get myself a coffee, because really- one is barely ever enough, but that's another story. so there i am, inside, waiting to get to the iced coffee thingy (yes, i drink iced coffee year round) and there were three gentlemen standing there chatting- they joked with each other "get out of her way haha"- i was like "no rush! take your time!" because we were actually running early (unheard of for me- another christmas miracle). so they move, i make my coffee, and go to pay, and one of the guys was like "let me buy that!" of course i was all "nono!! you don't have to do that!" but he insisted and bought me my coffee.

now, i haven't had a guy buy me a drink since college (i am an old lady now...), but i was just really touched that a complete stranger bought me my coffee on christmas day just because he felt like it.

via

this christmas seemed different to me that the last few years. people seemed nicer. more giving, generous and caring. i don't know, maybe i am just seeing the good more than the bad, but it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. and makes me want to be a better, more generous person in 2011 (remind me of this in february when i am being a monster bitch, mmmk?)

i swear, next time i post (who the hell knows when that will be) i will be back to my regularly scheduled ridiculousness, as i am not really that good at the sweet, sappy stuff.

and now i am balling my eyes out.

2010-12-22T13:46:00.001-05:00

i have been completely disconnected from the intahnets lately, so i am just catching on to this- but this right here is what the blogging community is about. i feel so lucky to be involved in this world, even if it has been a little half assed lately. i hope all my besties who live inside my computer have the best holiday possible.

obligatory holiday post...

2010-12-10T16:42:00.000-05:00

so my one year blogging thing totally came and went- it was like back in november or something...i looked back to see what was going on a year ago and same old shit really. i was watching bad reality tv, freezing my ass off because manfriend is a thermostat nazi, and browsing craigslist (i guess that was technically my first craigslist crazies post- le sigh to the good old days...). nothing has really changed. oh wait- i am less cold because i am fatter. the fat keeps me warm.

(just for the record- i tried to find a craigslist post for old times sake- i came up empty handed. is it because there are no crazies or because things are just so much more normal to me at this point? no idea.)

but here we are. this is my holiday post. this evening i will be doing the thing with the christmas music, the tree, the booze & all the other magical manatee type stuff (yes, manatees- i have decided they are the new magical animal. unicorns- though i love them dearly- are out. manatees are where it's at. JUST LOOK AT THEM. this is similar to when i decided "snookie" should be a term of exclamation- which, to my disappointment, did not really take off.)

and that's all i've got

the kitten gags.

2010-12-05T19:38:00.000-05:00

anyone still here? ::crickets:: it's ok. i'm not really here, so i don't expect anyone else to be. but i popped in for two reasons. one, mrs. cleanest gave me a rad award, and it would be lame if i didn't properly thank her. so thank you, you're the awesomeness. (also, she just got engaged like three minutes ago, so a gigantic congrats)

secondly, i had to pop in because i laughed the other day so hard i cried, and it was honestly the first time in like ages i thought to myself "i HAVE to blog about this".

this is the office kitten, peanut:

i don't usually like cats, but this kitten is so cute i want to bite her.

she is fascinated with things like printers, fax machines, adding machines, etc. one day i was adding a bunch of numbers of the calculator like the wicked exciting, super-hero type gal i am, and she was watching the tape spit out the back. and all of sudden she was kind of gagging. like tongue sticking out, dry heaving, gagging. i thought it was odd and kind of funny, but forgot about it.

cut to last week. i decided it would be funny to wind up a hopping chick and see if she would attack it or something. nono. she gagged. like a million times.

chick hopping in her direction:

kittens reaction was just sitting there, with the chick running into her and a combination of these three faces (of course i didn't get a picture. totally lame)
first a little stank eye...

then a little tongue action...

then straight up crazy face, vom about to fly...

it was the funniest thing i have seen a kitten do like ever (well besides surprise kitten).

um yeah, so that was a little insight into what i have been so unbelievably busy doing i have been MIA from blogland. totally important stuff, huh? miss you all hardcore (wonder if i will get some pervies visit for putting the word hardcore in my blog? s'ok. i love pervies.)

(all images besides the peanut via google. i think the last one if lolcats or something. whatever.)

praying to the whooga fairies.

2010-11-18T20:12:00.000-05:00

here's the deal....on the cod we live in flip flops. it's just the way it is. but sometimes there is snow, and it gets cold & wet, so we need to wear something else. what is the cold weather version of flip flops? uggs.

now, i fought this trend as long as possible, and i even eased into it. i started with a pair of slippers, then clogs, then actual snow boots, then finally, i succumbed to the warm cozy amazingness that is the classic tall. i can't fight the walking on clouds, warm wonderfulness, i just can't.

so here is the deal- i have been eying these whooga's- they look amazing, the company seems completely rad (they give pairs like every month to a lucky newsletter subscriber!!) and the price is fab (i even have an email with a link to get them even less!). see, i have a pair of chestnut uggs, but i really need black. i mean, i may be all about the comfort, but i still like to match. so anywho, i was drooling over the black whooga's just today, pondering what parts of my body i could sell to get the money for them, when what to my wondering eyes did appear? a giveaway. of whoogas. blessing my reader with it's presence mere hours after putting the black pair in my shopping cart and then sadly closing the page before entering my credit card info. the whooga fairies have blessed me! and the office stylist. her too.

let us all please keep our little fingers crossed that the stars align for me and i win this. it is important stuff, like keeping my toes warm.

cranberry school.

2010-11-15T15:35:00.001-05:00

ok. i love me some only girl & surferwife- and because they both asked about cranberry bogs, i will discuss a smidgen. the only reason i know anything about them is because i grew up here- i drive by at least one a day, i spent winters skating on frozen bogs, and i enjoy a stiff cape codder (as in the drink. and as in the men.). and by discuss, i mean with pictures. because my words make no sense.

and off we go.
bog:

(via google)

the little cranberries grow in there.

then they fill the bog with water, rake them or something and get all the cranberries out when they float to the top.

this happens to be the actual bog i parked at to take the picture that brought up this whole shebang.

and then, you make this:

cape codder- vodka+cranberry juice=deliciousness. there are some other steps in there i am sure, but this all that matters to me.

aren't a good teacher?

while we are all here learning things- it is imperative you go visit surferwife. she is having a giveaway of celeb status- here is a hint:

but don't enter, because i want to win it, kthanks.

wordless wednesday, but totally with words.

2010-11-03T09:03:00.000-04:00

i was driving home from work and this is what the lake near my house looked like. i was like "holy hell, i need to take a picture of that" (side note- i keep a camera on me at all times, even though i barely ever use it. when manfriend asked my why, i told him "so i could photograph my life". he called me weird. who is weird now?!). so...i immediately pull over by a cranberry bog so i can jump out and take a pic so i can look like photographer of the year. of course i had to back track a smidgen to get the right angle. so i left my jeep running while i ran back to take the pic. of course, once i got my shot, i realized my running jeep, with my bag and my life, was sitting unattended next to some cranberry bog a ways up the road. so i freaked a little & sprinted back. sprinted. as fast as my little legs would take me. and you know what? i am out.of.shape. i thought i might need 911.thankfully my jeep was still there, nothing was missing from it, so i could get in and recover.

because of this i have gone running 2 days so far this week.

so thank you pretty sunset for getting my fat ass moving again.

this is what you get when you have 1 dollar bill and 12 quarters.

2010-10-26T16:32:00.000-04:00

ok, yes, i had a debit card. but it is a little mad at me because i use it too much and never let it rest (kind of like my mouth. i don't mean that in a perverted way, i mean it in a it doesn't shut up way. and also maybe a perverted way...) anywho- i didn't want to use my card because i was a smidgen concerned about the balance in my checking account. what? if i don't look at it, the problem doesn't exist. yes, i realize i am a bookkeeper. do you think porn stars want to have sex on their nights off? well same concept. i don't care for keeping books in my free time.

the point is...i am fat. and broke. so, i ran to the grocery store to get some lunch that was cheap and not pizza. and this is what i got:

you can't see the whole box- sorry, i wasn't really sure where i was going with this when i took the pic...it is lean cuisine mac and cheese. numnum, right? WRONG.

this is what it really looks like:

and it tastes like plastic.

morals of this story:

balance your checkbook, have more money, don't get fat, stick with kraft, and don't ignore your blog or you feel like a giant asshole with nothing to say when you finally decide to post something.

like ripping off a band-aid...

2010-10-07T21:09:00.000-04:00

allow me to introduce myself, because you have probably forgotten...i am jessalyn. recently the big three oh. recently sportin' sparkles. recently superduper busy. where oh where have i been?

doin' stuff like this:

(that would not be my wedding. obvs. but this is where i am hoping to have my wedding. yes, i know i need to book if i want it in less than a year. this would be why i am buggin'. yeah, i said buggin')

i was here for a while:

(this would be north conway, nh. i decided if i turned 30 in the woods of nh, my thirties wouldn't really find me and i would still be 29 when i got back to MA. good logic, right?)

i was trying to figure out stuff like this:

(leopard print skivvies in a tree. in the middle of the woods. seems like a good night...)

hmm. what else? oh yeah, and jersey shore. duh. i especially enjoy when the situation calls for pizza or a cab ("wait. what's the name?"). and pauly d- he's on fire this season. and by on fire, i mean funny. and i don't even know if he means to be, but he is. it's all pretty darn good in miami.

i don't know what has been wrong with me lately, but i have been a wicked lurker and that's it. i am like a little hermit crab. i snoop around until i see someones shadow, then i retreat to my shell. or a groundhog. or something. i mean online. with blogs and the twat and stuff. i reread that and it made no sense so felt i should clarify.

via

i googled things that make no sense. this will probably give me nightmares.

HOLD THE PRESSES. paranormal activity two?! i mean, the first one was alright, but hasn't that ship sailed? does anyone remember blair witch 2? me either- i had to google it to see if it existed. silliness.

anywho, there. band-aid officially ripped off.

i miss the intahnets. and this post kind of makes me seem like i am on drugs. gah.

surferwife is givin' stuff away. but not bugs, and pumpkins.

2010-09-20T11:51:00.001-04:00

i know. i'm lame. i haven't blogged in, um, forever, and i still don't really know what i am going to write about, so we will see how this goes.

firsties. surferwife is doing some stuff and giving things away and junk. and she needs clicks on the thumbs up thingy here so she can win an ipad. and we all want surferwife to have an ipad. so go see her.

just a reminder of how much we heart the surferwife's pretty face:

(yes, i know you have all seen this. but blog posts with no pics are boring.)

secondly. FREAKED THE EFF OUT ABOUT THIS ONE. do you know what this is?

google

yeah, this is niketown in nyc. and you know what? they have bed bugs. BED BUGS. they don't even have beds. holy hell. this is bad news bears.

lastly, it has taken everything in my power not to purchase a pumpkin yet. i try to hold out until my birthday. see, we have a pumpkin heaven here on the cape, but it hasn't started yet. and i get my lovelies from there every year. i will wait for pumpkin heaven, i will wait for pumpkin heaven (i'm clicking the heels of my reefs together. i have no idea what this will accomplish, but i felt like it was necessary...)

no, this isn't my pumpkin heaven, but don't worry. i will take pics.

via

um. yeah. hi.

2010-09-01T14:37:00.000-04:00

first of all, let me say i have been sucking at the interwebs lately. my blog, my twatter, all completely ignored. what can i say...i have been busy staring at a sparkly object.

onto that. i really was going to breeze over it, no big deal. i didn't want to gush, or have a fuss. but you all, being the rad besties you are, freaked out a little for me. so thank you for that.

i am the one having all the freaking today though. like all day. this is my hand right now:

it is day 14 of being engaged and i forgot to put my ring back on after my shower. what the shit is that shit? what the hell kind of wife will i be if i can't even remember to put on an gee dee ring?! apparently a suckass wife. i can't cook, i hate cleaning, and i forget to wear my engagement ring. mothabitch.
(shh. don't tell any of this to manfriend please...)

so in response to requests for pics, here is one on a day i wasn't suckass and remembered to wear it:

okie dokie pokie? it's purdy. totally not what i thought i wanted, but now that i have it, i totally wanted this, i just didn't know it before. six prong with channel set mini-sparkles? can't go wrong. cut, color, clarity- fab. A+ manfriend.

as far as the proposal, we were at the drive in and after the movie ended i was being all yelly and bitchy telling him we needed to leave before we got stuck in traffic. and he was just sitting there. so i kept bitching "why aren't we leaving? it's past my bed time. i want to go home." (we still had like a 30 minute drive home...also, are you wondering why he even wants to marry me yet? because i kinda am). well, turns out, if bitchy mcbitcherson had shut her whiny face for a hot minute, manfriend may have told me why we hadn't left yet. so that was when he proposed- tres cute. being in the car jipped me out of the down on one knee thing though. i will get him to make that up to me somehow...

so, i want to end with a serious thank you for all the sweet well wishes. you guys are the bestest internet friends i have ever had living inside my computer.

ok...enough mushy gushy for today. i can't really handle it- it makes my teeth hurt. i am going to go back to stressing out about being a sucky wifer.

criagslist crazies friday: to lighten the mood....

2010-08-20T13:22:00.001-04:00

this weeks craigslist ad is not that creative in itself, i just thoroughly enjoyed what was up for grabs. i am thinking about buying it just because...i think it would look cute in my office...

on another completely unrelated note....manfriend got me my sparkles. obviously i am over the moon thrilled, and have not stopped smiling since, but i am not going to lie- i am a little sad i can't crack my "lack of sparkles" jokes anymore. i mean, that was kind of my shtick. this blog was about me not having sparkles, and random dumbness. so now all that is left is random dumbness. well, no worry, i am quite certain i will do plenty of completely stupid things as i fumble my way through being engaged. hopefully it will give me even more blog material about me being dumb...that is always fun.

sad day...

2010-08-13T12:23:00.000-04:00

a coworker lost her battle with leukemia last night after fighting so bravely for a little over a year.

and because she loved her flip flops, and was a life long weight watchers member who we always forced to eat horrible food (yes, we really made these) while asking "how many points is this?"...

skipping the craigslist part of the crazies because of the magic & sparkles.

2010-08-06T15:00:00.001-04:00

ok, i am officially the suckiest at getting my shit together regarding the fantabulous sparkliest magicaliest weekend ever. kate, cher and surferwife have shared their versions of what went down. and here i am, stressing about having to explain the wonderfulness that was the popping of my "meeting bloggers in flesh and blood" cherry.

so i know i already kind of shared how this weekend came about initially. we were going to kind of keep it on the dl, because we knew heather, our bestie, could only get us just so many back stage passes. plus my house is quite small. we have one guest room, and one office/junk room/dog room- no one wants to sleep in there. (for the record, we did invite our other trifecta member, but unfortch she is a busy lady lately doing very important stuff. i think she is going to be the first female president. you heard it here first folks.)

money (surferwife's gangstah name.duh) and i think we are being all sly and cool and sending each other super cryptic tweets. we are all "six hundred forty seven" (as in hours), and "one effing four. brain explosion.", thinking no one would ever figure our sneaky messages out. well, y'all are sleuthy. money and i apologize for underestimating your smarts. because quite a few of you caught on. so when cher started grilling us, money confessed and invited her to join us- and by the power of greyskull, cher said yes! total last minute, and i think she paid a small fortune for her plane ticket, but it was so amazeballs awesome that she did. cher is clearly a risk taker, if you didn't know.

this is about when jessalyn started to freak the eff out. come to find out, cher is allergic to dogs. well, remember this beast lives with me:

commence operation vacuum the fuck out of every nook and cranny in my house so cher doesn't have an allergy attack and die on her trip to the cod. that would be bad news bears everyone.

wednesday i was not supposed to work. well, work disagreed (not as in boss lady, more as in the actual physical work was like "hell no fucker, deal with me now, not monday. i wait for no one.") and i ended up working until 9:30 at night. this is really when the panic set in. there may or may not have been an actual crying fit wednesday night. like real tears, not just making the noises but nothing comes out the eyeballs.

thursday was the big day. i spent the majority of the day wrapping the dog in saran wrap so he wouldn't shed at all. then i had to figure out what to wear. what the hell do you wear when you are meeting interwebs celebs?! i wanted to wear heels so i could be hot and look cool. but i am an old lady and my bad hip told me absolutely not, so flats it was.

money, me, kate, cher

the rest of the story you can put together from the other fabulous ladies blogs. because they did a better job at telling it than i ever could...and i am quite certain there are too many words on this page and not enough pictures. most of you have probably glazed over at this point anywho, and won't even read this. so this is where i will admit that there were actual multiple minutes when chelsea's arm was around my waist while we were waiting for peeps to get ready for pics, and while i love me some men, i think i liked it a little too much.