Cape Town Alive

Aquatic Fanatic: Boland Bodyboarding Association gives back! West Coast Classic 2012

cjp@escariot.co.za (Carl Judas Piek) — Sun, 25 Mar 2012 12:26:00 GMT

Aloha my maritime maniacs, I come bringing news of the latest developments in the local scene of rubber-clad gladiators as summer comes to a close and we brace ourselves for the heavy winter swells ahead and frosty mornings on the beach where the XY doubt their manhood after their daily shredding in our Atlantic playground.

The BBA (Boland Bodyboarding Association) has gained massive momentum over the past year as events were announced and subsequently received record turn-outs from both participants and spectators.

We are truly blessed to inhabit these picturesque stretches of coastline, many of which are impoverished and in dire need of the essentials we constantly take for granted in our fast-paced consumer driven lives. So BBA would like to ask the many surf junkies that reside in the greater Cape Town/False Bay area to take inventory of their trendy wardrobes and pass the style onto those who can't afford to gauge items of clothing on social status but would simply have something to keep them warm or prevent their feet from getting hurt as they struggle to make ends meet.

CTA Guide : Sushi in Cape Town

lorenzo@capetownalive.co.za (Lorenzo Maggels) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 22:00:00 GMT

It must have been 10-12 years ago that sushi made its way to our shores and exploded onto our palettes, being as delicious as it was fashionable.

Now all those years later, with a multitude of sushi spots around town, we take a look at the best spots to get Sushi in Cape town....

CTA Guide : The V & A Waterfront

lorenzo@capetownalive.co.za (Lorenzo Maggels) — Sun, 18 Mar 2012 22:00:00 GMT

The Victoria and Alfred Waterfront offers a variety of options for its visitors, whether local or foreign, with a diverse array of shopping, dining, live entertainment and more.

A definite to add to your Cape Town To-do List…

KONY 2012 - We all need to help on this one, Okes are dying up in Africa!

dave@capetownalive.co.za (Dave Ireton) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 16:07:49 GMT

When i first saw this Video i thought "30 minutes, I will just fast forward and get the general idea", but do yourself a favor and watch this whole thing, its truly inspiring!!!

[video:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y4MnpzG5Sqc&feature=player_detailpage 560x315]

It makes me feel that there is a bit of hope left for the human race after all.

And this is how the Rapist/Murderer/POES/Theif/Leader of the rebels looks

Now go do your bit ... are you a nice person or a dick? atleast give this video a share:)

Follow me @daveireton

The Wolfpack Is Back

debrah@kaleidoscope-events.co.za (Debrah Rosenberg) — Wed, 07 Mar 2012 11:24:20 GMT

THE WOLFPACK IS BACK!

Last Friday, 2 March, Wolfpack Buff Charnas, Cheerleaders, Playboy Models and Chommies gathered at Bunker Bar, Burgundy Estate for an epic night of neon golf and the launch of the second season of Wolfpack Rugby with the Wolfpack RFC – Wolfpack style.

With the first of the 13 teams teeing off at 19:45 with their glow in the dark (golf) balls, glow sticks and gees, and with their sponsored Oude Molen brannas and cokes, boerie rolls for buffness, cheers from the crowd and sick tunes from Bunker Bar resident DJ Shaun, the game was on!

While teams tried their best to focus on the game and not on the hot betties cheering them on, or on the moerse amount of dop being forced down their throats at almost every (golf) hole by lekker Oude Molen meisies, spectators were throwing back buff double Oude Molen branna and Coke special after buff Oude Molen branna and Coke special in a (failed) attempt to keep up with the Wolfpack ous.

Seeing as there was no way that ous could beat the Wolfpack with branna and coke intake – (prawns!) and with hot Playboy magazines being handed out throughout the jol, an opportunity to get one up on the Wolfpack ous, and a requirement of buffness, arose - and that was for every oke to get their Tracy Macgregor Playboy mag signed by none other than the sexy minx herself, Miss Tracy Macgregor.

As the teams filed and fell in, the decibels rose and so did the competition. After a few more dops ingested, teams, spectators, cheerleaders and Tracy Macgregors congregated in the decked out prize giving arena to be awarded for their debauchery that had only just begun.

Buff prizes including Oude Molen gift sets, Golfer’s Club lob wedges, Dinners at Southern Sun hotels, Playboy packages, Blake’s Bar memberships, Regulation golf shirts and more, were awarded to the buffest golf charnas before the real jol ensued.

For the remainder of the night (and morning), dops, spilling of dops, buffalos and silliness were had by all. “These ous know how to bring a crowd together!”

A big thank you to our headline sponsor, Oude Molen for making this all possible; to Bunker Bar for providing the most epic venue, service and chow; to Playboy, Southern Sun, Golfer’s Club, Blake’s and Regulation for the buffest prizes; and to Thirst Bar Services for sponsoring the sickest bars and barmen on the course.

We look forward to a forgettable season with more Oude Molen brannas, hotter cheerleaders, push ups, chair lifts and epic jols with the ous that do it best – the Wolfpack RFC!

Don’t miss out on any of the buffness and like The Wolfpack RFC on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/Wolfpack.RFC), follow them on Twitter (@WolfpackRFC) and check them flex their biceps and have a double or two with them every Monday and Wednesday from 18:30 at the Gardens Rugby Club in Upper Orange Street – where it all happens.

Contact Wolfpack RFC Managing Director, Oliver Carter on 082 444 1956 or email him on Ollie@thewolfpack.co.za to get involved on the rugby field and be a part of the rugby team that shy away the rest!

The Wolfpack. Be the Buffness.

AWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

Cape Town's Trendy Careers... and the chops that do them.

stroobz@hotmail.com (kyle stroebel) — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 10:16:12 GMT

When I was young I wanted to be an astronaut. The idea of travelling the cosmos, exploring the universe and being able to take a shit in a space suite held me in the throes of great appeal. But times change. I realised that I was never going to make inroads into space travel, and, with the simultaneous arrival of post-pubescent maturity and sideburns, I changed my career path. Like all wunderkinds who have been captured by the radiance of High-School fine art and the discovery of magic mushrooms; I decided on advertising. I was this creative genius with a passion for sales who wore ironic T-shirts with quirky prose; I was going to make millions, I was going to make art, I was going to be surrounded by naked bitches in Jacuzzis with enough cocaine to anesthetise a rhino. Little did I know I was going to be making coffee for a year, for free. I moved on, realised that while I was young work was about paying your rent and putting two minute noodles on the table. My creative aspirations took a sidestep to my free time, and I became a subservient mistress to “the man”. Its life, and I couldn’t be this new-age super-hippy doing summersaults in fields for the rest of it; money makes the world go round, and I needed to make it spin.

However, while I might have dug myself out of an idealistic hole, a large proportion of Cape Town’s creative minds remain firmly buried. There are now careers where every dog and his uncle have decided to enter the foray: The Trendy Careers. And ironically in the endless pursuit of creativity, they fall victim to being the exact replicas of 10 ideas before them. One might call them occupational hipsters: the Fong Kong of the artistic industries.

I did a Fashion Design

I blame the Biscuit Mill. A platform for skinny jeans and grandpa’s waistcoats was the launching pad every person with a pair of scissors and a sewing machine so deeply desired. Fashion schools began taking in giant wads of alternative hip-chicks and homosexuals and slowly a small market became over-saturated with blinding mediocrity. Cant be an accountant? Couldn’t hack it in medicine? Fuck it, lets make t-shirts with cool logos, Im sure my brand will be better than the 30 000 alternatives the general public has to choose from. I can even make caps! Billabong recently filed a chapter 11 for bankruptcy worldwide, but your screen printing business in your mum’s garage has all the makings of Jean-Paul fucking Gaultier. Just because Alexander Macqueen is dead, doesn’t mean you can become the next iconic runway superstar. And you assholes developed those stupid waist high pants for girls… I know I speak for all straight men when I say we will never forgive you for that.

I did a Film

The single worst thing to ever happen to parties (besides Dutch-House), is the Cannon 5D: an SLR camera that can shoot average motion picture for a small price. Now all you need is a functional forefinger to hit record, caps and t-shirts emblazoned with a non-descript company logo and all of a sudden you’re Francis Ford Coppola with an erection. Now these malignant little film school graduates all have their own “production company” taking the local film industry by storm, but its not a storm it’s a hurricane, and instead of it raining H2O, its pouring urine. Thats what I want from a trance party these days; a 5 minute video of me on a dance floor after 12 hours where the only thing bigger than the sweat patches under my arms, are my pupils. And now the whole world can see it after some poorly applied arty effects in photoshop. There are one or two decent guys who have been around for years, skilfully documenting nights out, for the 17 new faces since January, take a photo of yourself, print it out, stick it on the fridge and write underneath “I will stop copying other peoples ideas, and I will learn how to use auto-focus properly”.

I did a blog

Yes I know, what a hypocrite I am. A blogger tuning blogging is like BP preaching about recycling, but this started 5 years ago, not on Tuesday when I finally signed up and made doesbatmanwearunderwear.blogspot.com. The web is freshly awash with people ranting about electro music, how to make the best bran muffins ever and what parties you should actually be going to on a Cape Town Friday evening. Regurgitated themes, repetitive uninspired writing and a Twitter account that summarizes everything in ten words or less. And god forbid the Beluga staff try hug a blogger, then the wrath of a 1000 .coms shall rain down upon you. You scribble online, you aren’t this superior being and your muffin recipe is shit. Write a novel or get a blowjob from Lohan; then we’ll chat.

I did a coffee shop

Ahhh hipsters and their exotic beans, it’s like the perfect complement to an outfit where you wear a bow tie and shorts simultaneously. The nouveau coffee houses are all “taking java to the next level” and then tweeting about it worse than the aforementioned bloggers. It is also the central conglomerate hub of all the new trendy career professionals. An environment where these tools can come together and talk about philosophy, photographic techniques, which Paulo Coelho book made you cry the most and the negative effects industrial farming is having on the o-zone. All so different, all so the same, Im waiting for a coffee shop to have strippers and put something on the menu that’s deep fried in bacon grease, that’d be different.

I does Personal Training

Ok so they aren’t creative, and its been around for a while, and they aren’t wearing skinny jeans or drinking Triple shot macchiatos with organic skim milk, but they have become massively abundant in recent times. Strong is the new sexy and new age personal trainers are those who couldn’t muscle it on the photographic front. Those rugga jocks at school that could hurl a water polo ball 50 metres but couldn’t master the 8 times table at 17. Great muscles boet, pity about your intellectual grasp of something really tricky, like the alphabet.

I cant wait to see the comments condemning me for being bitter. Im not bitter, I’m honest and realistic. Quick and easy fly-by-night operations (and no, that isn’t MCBN’s new low cost airline) that are done by people that deem themselves creative are the sand in the eye of people who have worked hard from the ground up for many years, never expecting the social media praise that these children in their early 20s so desperately crave. You aren’t going to make any money, you aren’t going to come close to revolutionising your industry and your talent is wasted by your selfish self-serving endeavours instead of earning your name. So actually I am bitter, because for people who have worked hard like me, seeing you expect the world with an idea that has been done by every Thomas, Richard and Harold is quite frankly grotesque.

~Stroob~

*Follow @stroobz where he is guaranteed to offer jobs in his new sock making endeavour, his production company that only films cats or just good old fashion prostitution.

The 33rd Loeries Annual showcases country’s best work

james@capetownalive.co.za (James Gilmour) — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 12:00:12 GMT

The new Loeries Annual will hit the shelves this week and within its pages lay some hidden treasures – since the book is the only place you will find The Loerie Awards Official Rankings.

The 33^rd Loeries Annual

The 3rd wave @Sapphire, March Line ups

dave@capetownalive.co.za (Dave Ireton) — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 07:19:24 GMT

The 3rd wave

R10 Tequilas all night!!!

line up s

Read more...

Strong Is The New Skinny

shella@capetownalive.co.za (Shella Alan) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 15:07:11 GMT

So you think strong is the new skinny? Well then 360 Specialized Training is right up your alley!

Wolfpack 4 Ball Night Golf with Oude Molen and Playboy

debrah@kaleidoscope-events.co.za (Debrah Rosenberg) — Tue, 28 Feb 2012 10:56:25 GMT

WOLFPACK NIGHT GOLF WITH OUDE MOLEN AND PLAYBOY

On Friday, 2 March, the buffest group of charnas in the Cape, The Wolfpack, will team up with Oude Molen and Playboy SA to bring you their sickest jol yet and an introduction to the Wolfpack RFC Reserve League Rugby 2012, at the Wolfpack 4 ball Night Golf at Bunker Bar Restaurant and Pizzeria.

Complementary Oude Molen brannas and Cokes and Rox energy drinks will ensure you golfing charnas stay buff along the course; Playboy bunnies, hot chicks, Wolfpack cheerleaders and sick tunes will provide lank entertainment for okes; class chow from Bunker Bar will add to the buffness and top class prizes from Oude Molen, Playboy, Golfer’s Club and Blakes Bar will be awarded to the charnas who put out on the golf course – awe!

So bring your betties, your charnas, your glowsticks, and your night balls and join the Wolfpack for an epic jol to kick off the weekend!

Tickets are R150 a person. First tee off at 6pm. RSVP to deblit62@hotmail.com by Thursday 1pm.

For more information on the Wolfpack, visit their Facebook page on https://www.facebook.com/Wolfpack.RFC or contact Oliver Carter on 082 444 1956.

For directions to Bunker Bar, see http://maps.google.co.za/maps/place?ix=sea&um=1&ie=UTF-8&q=bunker+bar+cape+town&fb=1&gl=za&hq=bunker+bar&hnear=0x1dcc500f8826eed7:0x687fe1fc2828aa87,Cape+Town&cid=12928081880881016897&ei=a6FMT-6qKeek0AXDxu2eBQ&sa=X&oi=local_result&ct=map-marker-link&resnum=1&ved=0CCgQrwswAA

WOLFPACK. BE THE BUFFNESS!

AWOOOOOOOOO!!!