captain mission

2026-10-29T12:33:07.267+11:00

where's the god?

you gotta love this, simple, raw, emotional and honest. i love this stuff. everything sometimes need to be stripped back, exposed, vunerable. it's true courage to be that naked.

anyways sun blazes down, it's a glorious day and last night i went to drumming at terrible beach, the skies were pink and light blue, it was magnificent, pastel colours and a variety of colourful people parade by digging the tribal groove as about 10 of us pound out some deep jungle beats. there's dancing, hula hoop girls, hallo hope girls and fire twirlers. there's cake being passed around, some pumpkin organic spice thing, light and tasty. i beat my drum and make sure i don't bang it. after a sleep I return to the beach for a coffee and watch people pass me by, it's a different vibe, faster. the ocean is amazing, with huge surf and a lot of white wash, i won't go in yet but can feel the pull. instead i sit in the sun and read a chapter of ravnor, my new dan abnett warhammer book 40K. it's very different from eisenhorn, more psychic stuff going on and more characters as ravnor tends to direct his team from within his weird box that keeps him alive and mobile. it's refreshing to read a lead character so disabled and fragile yet with such a strong mind and will. the characters are complex, it's more challenging, yet the story is fast paced and intricate, as they chase a new drug called flect on a hive world called hustic majoris. my fave character is a woman called patience kys who has her own introduction in a short story at the beginning of the omnibus edition. anyways, it's quite brilliant.

the sun starts to get a bit intense so i return to mission control and the cool space of home. indecently the front garden looks quite good, lots of weeding and clearance completed.

2026-10-26T20:54:43.383+11:00

last night a storm blew through, it was wild, and after a long summers day seemed refreshing and appropriate but this morning it's cold and damp. i spend a nice morning chatting with a friend, she gives me some mushrooms, which i will micro dose over the next few months. on the way home i stop and buy a plant for my bathroom, it's a bit spontaneous but i can't stand a room without some fauna and my bathroom has a spot for one. it's deprived of direct sunlight and remains somewhat darkened but there is a small window and in the afternoon sunlight floods it for a couple of hours. usually i have to rotate plants but i hope this one finds a permanent home.

2026-10-25T18:08:52.211+11:00

strange sleep, restless and filled with herds of wild horses, unicorns, fuans and satyers. i twist and turn, up and down and moving around like a tiger with a magazine. the sunlight breaks the morning, and i throw some laundry in, make a coffee and check mail etc. i dunno, checking mail these days just means deleting spam and junk. i dunno why i have the internet, it's 99% rubbish i don't need.

porn i guess. oh and music. and then there's book reviews and this blog, mmm, i guess it comes in handy.

well i drive down to a busy beach, it's kinda nuts but i manage to park and grab a coffee with two ladies, one is called summer although i call her lizard brain and one is called vanessa. anyway's i join them for my coffee and later we go over to the beach where the sun penetrated everything biting our skins like naughty needles, i see my pals moneque, andrew and peter who have just stepped out of a wild ocean. very dangerous.

summer goes and we all sit around chatting and laughing, disclosing secrets, stories and tales. it's really great and horurs pass, when i look at my car clock on the way home, it's 1pm. nuts the day has reached past the halfway point. crazy.

i do a little shop, i get home and do some writing, some sleeping, some cleaning, some listening and then some thing. it's dark now.

2026-10-25T17:59:27.161+11:00

the papartments live from paris

2026-10-24T17:55:24.215+11:00

2026-10-23T18:52:18.039+11:00

casino life

more from the apartments.

2026-10-23T18:40:44.815+11:00

what's beauty to do

great guitars, mixed together, simple tones ringing out. another classic tune from australias least known band 'the apartments.'

these guys should be massive.

2026-10-22T10:54:29.294+11:00

no song no spell no madrigal

i've always loved the sad songs, the really heartbreaking ones and this is one of those that i have recently discovered by an australian band based mostly in paris it seems although i think the main man lives in sydney now. i wish i had discovered them earlier as i would have seen them play. they seem to have slipped right under the radar and yet are magnificent. anyway's this reminds me of bubbles. last word on that subject.

2026-10-15T22:12:08.719+11:00

the magos is the final book in dan abnetts eisenhorn series, it's the best one so far, although not really the conclusion, it is a conclusion. i can't decribe the perfection of this book, it all comes together very well and has more humour than the other books, it has pathos to and a story that will blow your mind apart. it's war but not like the war you imagine, it's cosmic and vast and on scales that trancend space and time. i loved it and am stright into the next series of inquisitor books sequence known as 'ravnor.'

the magos sees esienhorn older, frailer and at the late stages of life, his war against the warp has cast him far, an outcast on his singular mission. eienhorn is now embracing the weaponary of his enemy, he comes full circle, right back at the beginning. he is also exploring his singular force that has driven him forwards while loosing those he is closest to, the people who followed him. friends.

2026-10-13T23:54:49.674+11:00

big rain, heavy and unrelenting. i'm trapped in a cafe that is so bad it becomes entertaining. danni and i are in hysterics, we have never experienced anything like it. we have been coming here for a few months, it gets worse every day. the waitresses all hate being there, they hate their jobs, their customers and they resent everyone who seems to come in. they serve the wrong coffee to us, they forget the cutlery, they forget condiments, they get confused when you ask for toast and think you want a sandwich, they are rude, without humour, they are just angry and don't hide it.

it's hilarious, rain leaks in under the umbrellas, everywhere is wet, it's cold. but we laugh. danni just won a court case against a domestic violent situation, her neighbour has tormented and attacked her, the police have been hopeless and finally after two years she won. he's finished. i'm happy for her, i hate bullies, and before you judge me, i hate women bullies just as much, women are also manipulative, exploitative and play the victim, but in this case danni is just. and justice was done.

i hope the sun returns tomorrow, may take a trip with her to the city, she needs to see dr. ranga. however, if it rains i'm staying home.

2026-10-12T19:42:41.459+11:00

as soon as i walk into work catastrophic events occur, a colleague has a brain tumour, he's a good guy, it's awful. a tree falls down and blocks the road, i just miss it hitting me. it's a big tree. a massive pipe bursts inside my workplace and we have to turn of the water. i put a protective shield around myself, it's extended out to my clients. whatever bad energy attempts to attack me will be deflected.

the rest of the day is uneventful, i'm getting tired again, maybe i need iron or maybe a good snooze. i listen to some ancient music, the sensational alex harvey band, very innovative and inspirational. i listen to some dylan, he's got the droll sneer i like in a lyric delivery, the attitude. i do a little writing, a lot of reading, sleep comes out of the darkness, it must be gone 2am and before i know it it's coffee and a shower. the days bleed into one another, one more to go befiore a break.

2026-10-08T14:28:51.780+11:00

up early, it's cold and damp but outside awaits two friends who are taking me n a mystery tour. we cruise around the coast, a few coffees here there, stop at macmasters for breakfast with whales, the ocean looks angry and powerful, it's the type i used to love for surf but now i look at it with horror and fear and respect. the girls in the cafe overcharge me and come out to correct their mistake which i end up leaving in the tip jar. the cafe is high up and across the water is cococabana beach. you can see the profile of the indian on the rocks. we drive across to coco, travel past some homes my friend built. he tells stories of his wild youth and who he was loaded. we listen to new music, young upcoming bands, nothing i particularly like, call me old fashioned. we stop all over the coast, hidden places, little beach, putty beach, lobster bay, coasters retreat, wagstaffe and end up at avoca.

2026-10-05T10:11:16.700+11:00

i have to take a moment to promote my friend iggy whom is also known as ed, he's out there feeding the rat.

possibly one of the most exceptional people i knew in the old days, i encountered him on the bus when i think he was studying art, and he was the only other person who was reading a book. so when i asked him what he was reading it was always something good. ken kessy, burroughs, HST, tom robbins or something of that nature. anyway the guy was really smart switched on and had the kind of personality you don't find in small coastal towns. years later when he was no longer studying we crossed paths on an off, had some groovy conversations, at one point he was living the doaist monk life. and then decades later as a green haired punk he hung out with me for a few years, great conversations, dmt, weird extreme stuff. i have to confess iggy was far more extreme, he was physical and did marathons, climbing and military commando stuff whereas i liked the surf and a good book.

ever since i knew him he had told me he would marry a japanese woman, and have a japanese daughter, and of course he did. i met her a few times and she is fucking amazing as well, as is his wife. anyway they are based in japan and iggy started an amazing extreme adventure company called, 'feeding the rat.'

they began as extreme ice climbers but i think they just do anything that involves high altitudes, ice and extreme cultures. occasionally we swap e mails and iggy is still the same, the most interesting guy i know, outside the box and sees things very differently from most people. unique perspective, part cosmic but from a highly evolved human. in fact I am certain iggy really comes from the future.

anyway, here's his website. please check it out, if you like challenges and ice go book a trip, he's worth the experience and you will come away a changed organism.

FEED THE RAT

2026-10-04T21:49:38.301+11:00

a vivid entry in the exit, skin up that wild one sister, we got hot bodies and alien flesh and there's no dancing at the end of this century. fragmented light vessel, bouncing from the disco balls, orbital mirrored walls, satellite of lust, crashing through the atmosphere, penetration penetrating, penetrating penetration.

i uploaded into a new version of myself, he's better, faster, smarter and attractive, yeah from beast to beauty. he gets laid, he gets paid, he no longer gets the killing joke he tells it. he's got whiplash aura, he's got psychic splash, he's the elegant australian with a harem to match. no woman is safe from his raw gaze, as he slides into this new phase.

the babylon hoards outside the door, the cross street movements falling on the floor, you turkey attached morons, the idiotic fools, the zombie massive, i don't hear you any more. i'm far to gone, gone awol, m.i.a outta the door. catch me if you can't, i won before you start, i'm the olympic spirit and the beezulbub counterpart.

ah we do the fascist tornado, the ambient groove, it's a jungle stomp in the nude, it's the got no shame, it's the played my part, it's the fuck you baby, it's the end at the start. yeah do the holographic tango in yer heels and boots, jump out that space ship without a parachute, you got no class, no style, no grace but you got a nice ass and a real cute face.

2026-10-02T09:43:39.693+10:00

oh i had a late night, the day seems to slip by and work looms ahead. it's been lovely to have some time off and catch up on a few things, so grateful to have a lot of junk removed from mission control. heaps of books, a massive movie camera, lots of computer stuff, all found a good home and now i have a little space. i've been thinking about converting the loft into an office or something, one large room, nothing too complex. my one problem is access, where to put the steps plus all builders who specialise in this type of work are based in greater sydney not the coast. anyways, i have no idea what's possible until someone advises me on the structural issues. fortunately i have a friend who can do just that. so seeing as though the day is in slow motion i generally stay home, read, write, clean up and prepare for the next few days. it's going to be big, lots going on. i can't believe how exhausted i must have been, dangerously close to collapse but as usual i pull through.

oh, i was sent two brand new church songs, from their overdue album lacuna, and they are all spectacular. yeah, it's exciting for me, a good motivator when your fave band inspires you. i mean not much else does these days.

'hereticus' is of to a fantastic start, i mean it's quite brilliant and in context with what came before. my god, this type of writing is insanely good and the story telling although slightly adolescent is twisted enough to make it interesting. it's a mix of science fiction meeting dark fantasy and there are many nods to moorcock as well. well with no spoilers it's hard to explain, but I'm up to the part where eisenhorn has just crossed over the line. far out!

2026-09-30T11:46:19.908+10:00

the big sleep, wow, can't believe i slept from 1900 right through until 0700, i must confess i feel amazing. a series of texts from a friend and i'm up and down the beach grabbing a coffee, sitting in sun, chatting away.

unfortunate i have to leave early as i have some people picking up my solar panels, a great idea in theory but in a country run by morons it just benefits them and the chinese who make them. anyway they are old now and way beyond their lifespan. it's a hell of a job but as I write they have been picked up and taken. then a landscaper arrives to assist with the redesign of the back, the area I burnt accidentally, so gone are the blackened stumps and branches and a few new plants replace them. less of a fire risk, my neighbour requests the rubber tree is trimmed so he can get some sun, happy to oblige.

yeah it's that kind of day, lots of domestics, scrubbing, dusting cleaning, washing and general tidy up. spring. plus I have unbound energy.

i've discovered a dictation software in word i can use, it's clumsy but probably good for putting together pieces of writing, i wish blogger had it but then I could always copy and paste.

i have some pounds sterling left over from my english trip, i took some to spend over there but no-one in london accepts cash so i returned home with the same amount i took. the exchange rate is pathetic, i loose $400 so i just figured i'd sit on it until it improves, but given the uk's economy and the au that may be a while.

now, a quick rant. i hate the woke left and right. i hate the governments of the uk and au. the greens especially and the stupid people that support them. the left are particularly stupid due to their arrogance and their preachy ways, i don't care if you are Hollywood or rock and roll royalty, don't tell me who i should vote for or what side i should take, keep your suicidal empathy for yourself, keep your faux compassion and virtue signalling. i have a brain, mind and i can make a choice based upon my own information, unlike most sheeple out there who think the guardian/ sydney morning herald and the bbc/ abc are purveyors of truth. fuck off.

2026-09-28T20:22:16.330+10:00

about to start the third and book 'hereticus' in the eisenhorn series, what an incredibley well written sequence, so far and if you manage to get the omnibus you also get a few extra short stories that link these novels. i'm really finding the writing excellent and the story absolutely riviting. the whole warhammer universe is so complex and rich, it's got no equivelient. even fantasy novels like tolkien cannot compare as there was one writer whereas in warhammer lore there are many. dan abbnett being the best.

2026-09-28T20:01:37.736+10:00

up very early to shift the solar panels and fixtures which are at the side of my house. i had taken them down when i had the tiles replaced with colourbond roofing, and now i really don't want them. it was hard work, carring 12 panels across the pond but eventually i managed to complete this tricky mission.

i'm not convinced these solar panels are any cost benefit, especially now the grid dosn't really subsidise you as much plus any panel has a life span of 10 years and mine are ancient. to be honest without a battery it's pointless. so good bye panels.

my next big move is to clear some back garden material, it's a long time coming, have some nice plants to stick in as a natural boundry amd offer ultimate privacy. plus i have sorted out about 10 big boxes of stuff to give away to a friends son, i just have to work out when. it's solowly coming together, still a fair amount of work involved but hopefully by the end of the year i will have made a huge dent in the plan.

2026-09-27T20:51:52.554+10:00

oh ho ah ha

the area 51 in my head woke me up late night somewhere between a fantasy and a dream, i dunno, sometimes it gets hard to tell what's what in my dusty old head. i'm not even in my bed, i'm sprawled on my reading chair, a paperback sits in my lap and my tee shirt is covered in drool. there's a white light coming down the ceiling in a cone and i'm inside the beam, no sunglasses, no hat, no idea. things like this happen and over the years I have figured out as a writer you just have to go with it, until you can write about it, so I just find myself surrounded by some sort of levitating ray.

at one point i no longer know if it's up or in or down or out, it's a direction of some kind. the cells and atoms that make up my body are pulled apart and stretched, they are elongated and contracted at the same time, my body feels like that stretchy chap from the fantastic four, mr. fantastic only i'm captain mission, and apart from some basic yoga i'm not so stretchy. there's no pain or discomfort, just a strange pull in a new direction.

eventually the sensation ceases and i find myself standing in a spongy room, not really easily but it's soft and despite my falling down several times doesn't seem to hurt, in fact it's probably spongy to keep me safe.

the voice that speaks is that of a strangely friendly alien intelligence, 'are you gary?'

'who wants to know?'

'i'm called robert'

'i'm called captain mission.'

'oh, well in that case we have made a big mistake. sorry. we are looking for a gary.'

'you got the wrong guy.'

the cone of white light appears and projects me back down or up, in some new dimension, back onto my chair at home. all as if nothing weird happened.

'what the fuck was that all about?' i ask no one and get no reply.

2026-09-24T17:21:02.347+10:00

a long drive south to hurricane petrina country, to break up beach and those old haunts, god-awful mosman with it's pretentious twits in bmws and designer clothing, with it's double bay double pay inadequacy and all to meet a certain character who has fame and respect up on the coast, a healer and dealer and lovely old doctor who seems to have tapped into actually healing people as opposed to keeping them sick.
we stop at balmoral beach for lunch, and then into the town for the appointment. doc ranga is amazing, we get on very well, he's a really cool man. i tell him about my trips to sri lanka, and we discuss how much we enjoy america and how much i hated being a kid in london.
ranga takes my blood, he has just placed a drop on the slide and already determines it's toxic with heavy metals. under the microscope he finds the reason, mercury poisoning from my fillings in my teeth. when I was a kid at skool the government sent dentists into skools to work on kids teeth. these dentists were paid per filling and obviously being fucking crooks they drilled fillings into every kid who was unfortunate enough to attend. even if they had perfect teeth. decades later this was exposed but as usual the victims had no power in their situation, just years of slow death. anyways, dr. ranga showed me the live blood cells and how damaged they were, even the white ones were much smaller than they should be. he suggested the solution would be oxygen and demonstrated this by giving me some oxygen and doing another blood sample. sure enough the difference was noticeable. very noticeable. so there was that. then there was my coughing, and he suggested i use a compound of tea tree oil and vapour which he made for me. he said the cough was possibly heavy metal toxins as well.
we also looked at the vaccine damage as well, and that was nothing new.

later on the drive home i managed to dodge the traffic and made no time, even managing to attend drumming for the first time in months. that was lovely, big moon on the water, lots of people, i bashed the skins and made a racket. ate some hash cake and returned home late where i worked on my novel and fell asleep around 3am.

2026-09-21T10:46:49.315+10:00

another beautiful day, i'm down at the beach early no surf at all, flat and clear as a translucent pancake, the sun is already intense. everyone is there, meet and greets, i'm not really in the mood although i could use a coffee. i chat to danni about dating in the modern times, we have a giggle about how confusing it all is. a random man comes along and tells us about how he was arrested and then beaten up by the police last night. it's a horrific story and given the local polices record i don't doubt him.

i take the car through the car wash, it's a big day, i return to work, have a few things to do. i'm writing a bit, finally getting an idea I been incubating on for a few years, it's a huge story and spans eons, it's hard sci-fi and it's complex so a big challenge. but this is my big story, the one my imagination threw at me, and I like it as an idea. it's got everything including a mad scientist or wait, is he sane. anyways, it's going to take a while to complete and tidy up, i think i will need an editor for this one.

2026-09-19T21:32:57.446+10:00

i haul myself to a party catch up with a hard of people, they blitz me with questions, food and drink, i don't eat anything but have some water. there's some people surf i with there, they have heard about an altercation i had this morning with a feral woman who decided to enter a conversation with me, she was very aggressive and antagonistic. she was stumped by me and as usual i had to confront her with her own truth. she hates males, she was hurt in a relationship and probably others, she's surrounded by a defensive system that is nasty and unfriendly and hostile and she picked a fight with the wrong guy. she leaves but i have read her aura and energy, she is left wing, sexually repressed, hates men although secretly wants one, she's wrapped up in causes as she is a lost one, she virtue signals, she's desperate to be liked but she isn't and she craves attention but only gets negative attention as very few people like her. i could have put her out of her misery but my friend intervened and he ended up taking the hit. later we went for a walk and sat in the sun.this seemed to be the main topic at the party, word had got around i had involved myself with this woman and everyone was confessing how difficult they had found her.

i don't know, she wasn't really difficult just a waste of energy. I can let go very fast of situations like this, they just bore me, but seem to entertain everyone else.
i see a few there people, we chat, we light a big fire, i want a joint but no one is smoking so i make an excuse and leave.it's very early but i'm not a party guy, i want a joint, and i have an early morning. the drive home is lovely through the narrow streets in the country, stars above, clear night, perfect.

2026-09-18T11:40:54.817+10:00

finally out and about, no longer exhausted or sleep deprived, look at those bags under my eyes, i am alive and kicking, healthy and happy, just chilling out. the last few months have been nuts, totally insane and it's my own fault, just taking on far to much without thinking about my own needs.

the sun is out obliterating fears and tears, the people all stop to say hi, i must have a good energy about me, no more sickness or weird karma, i'm back from the land of the dead.

with time out, time off the world is my oyster baby.

2026-09-17T20:43:42.240+10:00

i have not been to drumming for a few months now, something is stopping me, the cold, the wind and the lack of motivation due to the cosy situation mission control offers with it's fireplace and soft music, plus the opportunity to write and read. i'm well into book two of eisenhorn, 'malleus' which is brilliant. set almost 100 years after the first novel we segue into areas of the first novel that have been left unresolved and the team uncover an even bigger conspiracy within a conspiracy. i'm loving abnett's writing, and wish he would team up with reynolds, those two would complement one another very well.
they are currently on a hive planet called by the imperial inquisition to attend a huge summit where the empire will demonstrate it's success in a very big parade that has been sabotaged. abnett describes this on a huge scale, it's utterly immersive and so massive in scale. and that's just the prelude. brilliant stuff.

the other news is.

and it is big news.

lacuna has a release date, two new tracks are out, both brilliant but 'western' turns me on in that classic way, it's quite brilliant. i'll post it soon, i'm sure the band won't mind, but please buy the cd. i really don't want this to be the last one, i feel there's one final album to make, and they are not there yet. it' strange but i know when it should be, and it's possibly the next one. anyway's lets just stay on lacuna now, two years in the shadows. it's coming next month.

2026-09-16T12:45:08.535+10:00

what a predictable write of yesterday was, as i mentioned i was burnt out, not something that happens often, maybe once before in a 40 year career but i know my limits which is why i pleaded for a day off, after all it was only a short six hour shift but my boss said i had to do it.
even the drive in was harrowing, my faculties are down, my mind was spinning and unfocused and i knew as soon as i hit the freeway i should not be doing this. when i arrived at work she asked me how i was and i was honest, 'i'm fucked, exhausted, i shouldn't be here.'
the result was a car crash, i won't go into details but it was not pleasant. still i have to run around like an idiot and do everything for everyone.
the drive home was precarious.
this morning after a good sleep and rest i feel much better, almost back to myself. I manage to get to the beach and watch the surf roll in, it's windy and a bit cold. my coffee cost me $7.20. i have to find a new haunt. i sit in the sun, after about ten minutes the sun begins to warm my skin. it feels good.

i go home. it feels good still.