CaptnPoppy the Poker Playing Monkey

Lordpip.com

2010-10-08T11:59:00.000-07:00

I have been playing some poker friends and having gone on a insane tilt brought my bank roll down to 13 cents. I have since brought it back up to over 5 dollars but my new sng requirements are 10 dollars at least before I move up to a 20 cent sng. I'll let you do the reverse engineering. Now I so happy to announce a great new find http://www.lordpip.com/ . I am trading for pips and will be interested to see if the forex is has fun as poker. Monkey Out! Though I plan to be back more often now

I Havent Died

2010-05-06T19:13:00.000-07:00

Just too frigging busy fer da cards right now. Sigh

Powerful Hand

2010-04-07T19:52:00.000-07:00

I have a powerful hand myself then aces then itself. Be warned I have tried it out on myself and promise to bring it to the poker table soon.

Mr. Wrinkles Dreams of the Day

2010-04-06T18:04:00.000-07:00

Mr Wrinkles dreams of the day when his good friend CaptnPoppy will finally break the three dollar mark and stop winning hats and win cash instead. Having said that all the free swag for placing in some of the Ultimate Bet's frees rolls arrived in the mail and it is nice to play at a place that keeps its word.

Taking time away from Poker to relax with Forex

2010-04-01T17:07:00.000-07:00

I am trading Forex from the zoo as well as poker and things are heating up cause it spring. My bankroll is still about three and I can't seem to break the resistance level. On the bright side my bankroll is so tiny I am not even tempted to go beyond my bankroll management rules. Here I am selling the EUR/USD when I should be buying it but I don't know yet. Oh and by the way where can a Monkey get a stop loss limit order for pocket jacks pre-flop?

Been Some Time

2010-03-26T09:31:00.000-07:00

Though my bankroll took that massive hit a while back I have yet to go broke and and trying to break the five dollar mark again, I have won shirts, hats and cards from Ultimate Bet as I have been trying to get into the world series through free rolls. I keep getting deep enough to win swag but no berth yet. It occurs to me I should start selling the swag at the petting Zoo here. To strengthen the brand of Team Chimp!

Team Chimp - Captn Poppy the Poker Playing Monkey - Chimp and A Chair

as seen here at the international mascot awards where we took first place.

The Commodore

2010-03-12T04:36:00.000-08:00

Here is the Over Lord I refer to when I am at the tables. I play with him in mind, and he holds me to the task to free myself and all other zoo living card playing monkeys. When I win he is pleased, when I lose he is not pleased. He is not pleased with the entire table not just me, so we have to work together to have me win all my sngs profitably and please the Commodore. This is the only way to ensure our safety.
Thank You for your compliance in advance.
CaptnPoppy

As a Great Monkey Once Said "Lets Squish Our Fruit Together "

2010-03-07T18:18:00.001-08:00

Some times it isn't about cards. Some times it's about being a monkey. A Chimp who really really really likes to eat fruit, dream of fruit, pay with fruit and build with fruit. Lets Squish my Friends, lets squish.

So Far and All

2010-03-05T19:52:00.000-08:00

I have gone from zero to just under 14 dollars and now back to 2 dollars and fifty cents. I blew up, went off bankroll, gamble all the way down in one week it took me to get from months of steady play. Some where I blowed up real good. I have put it all in a graph to helps us figure out what is going on. Please feel free into put your thoughts... directly into my head via fruit hat.

Finding Leaks and Asking for Help

2010-03-03T17:13:00.000-08:00

I wonder, just in case if any one know please, please tell me. What is the chance of winning a 9 person game when you double up first. That is eight person table you have 3000 chips and everyone else has 1500, all players being equal. If so it sure isn't 100% so why am I racing all in pre-flop with 50 50 or only a small edge? I mean coin flip I am out or have an edge, but that's not enough. That's huge handicap if you already lose half your entries for just a better shot at winning. You would do better to flip coins. You lose or you win not you lose or you could win

OK
1 No Ace rags
2 Fold Big Slick if it misses the flop
3 Avoid all in races until after money positions or a chip stack below ten times the Big Blind

A Picture is Equal to Swearing a Thousand Times

2010-02-24T21:06:00.000-08:00

I have to play 20 cent sngs AGAIN! I haven't lost it all but I think I will just try to eat through the cage bars, it'll be quicker then winning enough to bribe my escape from this fing petting zoo. This week I might not play and just tell enchanting stories. ( I have been force to work a lot in the zoo and I am tired) so my poker game has been neglected. I salute you Mike Matusow

Insanity: Doing the Same Thing Over and Over Again and Expecting Different Results

2010-02-19T12:30:00.000-08:00

I have been working with my new team of trainers at Team Chimp to plug up one or two stupid holes in my game. I have known about for them for years and yet keep playing. I am guessing I was imprinted at an early age with these two ideas ( big slick is good always to the river and ace rag is a strong pre-flop holding) as being positive when they are not. See, as a chimpanzee one can always suspect that some form of experimentation has occurred in your past that you can't remember and that is what causes you to make poor decisions over and over again even when you know they are wrong. Man I am glad I am not human and therefore would be with out this explanation for this insane behavior of mine. Time to truly change with Team Chimp

Monkey Art "Moving Platue"

2010-02-15T19:00:00.000-08:00

I jump from 11 to 13 dollars back and forth. I need some more luck cream or a plug for a leak in my game. So in honour of this poker limbo I have composed the piece " Moving Platue". Weirdly made up from an image of a guy named Professor Platue who created moving pictures. Enjoy while I try and firgure this stupid game called poker out. Team Chimp RULES. . . sorry vocal tic

Tub O Luck

2010-02-13T14:58:00.000-08:00

I have broken out in a rash of odd luck, a scabies of errant probabilities, a nexus of bad coverage, red when black, heads when tails, right when left. So can I get a cream for this?I am not sure and therefore CaptnPoppy's good luck cream is going to be my next invention. (This implies that I have other inventions, I know, but I think I do, I just cant remember) . This cream will be a simple cold cream with an unadvertised prize in the bottom - so when the customer comes across it - they feel lucky. They should also feel potential for change for the good when they use the cream ,which in turn will make them happier ,which in turn will make them see the world in a kinder way ,which in turn will make them feel luckier.
Reasons for using CaptnPoppy's Luck Cream
1.Cream feels good in the fur. ( Remember I am A chimpanzee and rather furry)
2.Mr. Wrinkles can use it on his nipples on colder days when they chap.
3.CaptnPoppy's Lucky Cream, tubby size just sounds cool.
4.Can make you feel up to 25 % more lucky.
5.Makes a nice valentines gift when warmed gently over a fondu.
6.Super nice skin is distracting at the card tables.

TEAM CHIMP

2010-02-12T07:53:00.000-08:00

I had played in a crazy fun sng a couple of days ago and in the second hand was down to 15 chips. I came back to win it. Through the entire game I suggested to all the players that we work together as team chimp so I could win. Even though I suspected some of the others players weren't really on board I thanked them for being an important member of the team chimp as I took the last of their chips . I also promised a team logo. Well Team Chimp.....HERE IT IS! Down load it! Ohhh I'll will set up a little site for shirts this weekend!
Mr. Wrinkles loves to sew so we should have no problems meeting orders. The bankroll is up to 13 but I have to sneak away from the cage to find time to play cards and I miss it.

A Chimp and a Chair

2010-02-09T17:20:00.000-08:00

This will be my new slogan on the Team Chimp Crest which I will be working on. The idea of a chimp team, came to me tonight as I was playing A sng where I was down to 15 chips and came back to win the thing. Jack_Jeckel, a very good Jackal tossed the slogan to me and the match at the end and had to walk away when we were heads up. I have to work the back shift at the zoo and have to fly. Crest soon!

Me off to Work Hard for a Couple of Days

2010-02-06T17:08:00.000-08:00

I have to work some longer hours at the petting zoo but I shall return Sunday or Monday!
The photo was "taken" by Brace Towers while I was being distracted by Mr. Wrinkles on my way to the office at the zoo. I am close to ten dollars again in the bankroll after the ring game foolishness. Back to the 50 cent sng soon.

Peanut Nut Butter , Poker and Chimps

2010-02-04T19:56:00.000-08:00

I was offered to help a couple of ladies at a game who found themselves in a sticky situation. Now I am pretty sure it was an innocent problem however I did hope they hadn't come from a nut free school.

Destine1and I chatted for a while, I reminded them that we are completely different animals though closely related. We are both are Anthropoidean for example and hybrids do exist in nature. Primate hybrids usually arise in captivity however rarely in the poker room, but there have also been examples in the wild. Intergeneric hybridizations, hybrids of different genera, have also happened though they belong to genera that have been distinct for several million years. Interbreeding still occurs between the Gelada and the Hamadryas Baboon as an example. However I insisted I needed a bountineer, a large fruit hat, and the promise of regular visits. But before any else could be figured out the huge floating eagle head to my left killed the girls. Poker is surreal on so many levels, the weirdest being I just worked the tables for over two hours and made nothing.

Greed is not Good

2010-02-03T18:37:00.000-08:00

Greed. I normally play sngs mostly. Sometimes I play ring games . Today I bought into a game at the maximum mount (over my bank roll limit). There was a fish who was pushing all in on everything and who sucked out on me. So I wiped the drool from my chin and re-bought at 2 dollars. He proceeded to win hand after hand when people folded or he caught with 7 3 off. I got more and more anxious because I wasn't getting any cards. I started playing suited connectors form early position in hopes of hitting a flop. I wanted a chance before the others got him. Here was this big, almost bloated fish, swimming sideways just out of reach. I shouldn't have been there with that much cash. I wanted the crazy man to double me up. I kind go batty after a half hour and charge all in with an ace 9 suited , you know before anyone else can get him. Well he has a hand and calls with pair of tens which hold up and I am below ten dollars now in my bankroll. I have to play 20 cent sngs again. I have blown a weeks work at I can't afford or ever get back. Greed. I have done this my entire poker career which is why I have started the bankroll experiment in the first place. If I can't fix greed then I need to back it up and try to get go of the petting zoo some other way. I might take a day off. This two dollar lost hurts more then any twenty did in my old days (when making money wasn't so hard) because I should know better. Bad Monkey

The Oldest Story about Trees and Poker

2010-02-02T18:02:00.000-08:00

I used to play under a oak tree as a small kidnapped chimp during my breaks for dancing for tourists in the streets of Athens near the Plaka. The organ grinder was staring to get old and would often tell me stories he made up because he was delusional and thought I was a harem girl that needed seducing with folk tales. We would sit under the mighty oak and play cards. Mostly three card monty to passing donkey drivers on their way to the islands where they pretended to be quaint. After fleecing a driver of asses the old organ grinder told me a story . In the time before men trees used to play poker with helper monkeys to deal the cards. The most famous of all was a helper monkey called Gibby. She dealt for a tree called Acorntooak. One day Gibby brought the game of cards down from the trees to people who were still just hunting and gathering. She taught the people how to play, however, now the losing players had to pay something and debt was born. Acorntooak was mad with Gibby and she was banished from the trees. She learn to live with people she had taught but because she had lived with a family of the first entertainment agents she was forced to dance. The agents would take 15% plus expenses to cover their poker debts. Acorntooak was cut down to make benches for a theatre space and Gibby's most beautiful and vibrant dance was one she called Irony. “Do you understand Captnppopy?” The old organ grinder asked trying to put his hand up a skirt that wasn't there. I didn't answer and merely hopped on the back of a passing lawyer on a Vespa. So image my surpise when I played Gibby and AcornToOak today on UB.

Heal Thyself Monkey

2010-02-01T20:25:00.000-08:00

Some of the 50 cent sng I have been in lately have a feel that I couldn't quite place. I was getting caught with my pants down after small betting the turn and river to find the caller had been calling my small bet on the flop with nothing and catching the turn and or river to beat my bluffing bottom pair ass. The problem here is that I am normally ahead but not by much and they are calling me with nothing What does it remind me of? OH YEAH micro levels limit holdem!. So wait for the hand pre flop and make them pay or play the draws and set mine with the proper implied odds. Okay now I can stop whining at the tables about suck outs. It was my whining that put me on to it. “What is this ,a Limit game!” I screamed and it became clear. Yeah it kind of was limit, loose small pot poker and I was getting out played post flop. Heal thyself monkey.

So Close

2010-01-31T17:01:00.000-08:00

First you had to beat over 4000 people to place in the tournament. Then once you did that you had to beat over 4000 in the next tournament and place in the top two to win free seat and expenses to the world series. I placed 6th. The monkey gets a T- shirt. On the brighter side I am almost at 13 in my bankroll after a few set backs. I want to write more but I kind of hurt in my chest. Four places from the win which would allow me to cross number two on the to do before I go list. The two going to Vegas are REAL POPE and E-R-I-C-H. Easy money, the hardest money to get. I am not sure how people do this with their own cash. Even betting with winnings only and free-rolls can't excuse you from the sickness in your monkey belly when you get so close and lose. Tomorrow however is an other day. Ah what the hey I am already in an other free roll. There is only one thing in Poker and in Life that is true invest other peoples money for your profit in risk adventures.

What do you mean I lost?

2010-01-28T12:44:00.000-08:00

I have to work for the next couple of days long hours at the petting zoo. And I didn't place after a pocket pair of Queens got cracked and A Big Slick which got matched up with the Ace on the flop got out turned by a newly minted set. The bank roll is still above 11 but barely. I may have to miss a day - the petting zoo is so busy - so see you Saturday at the latest my Monkey Minions.

It is a License to Print Monkey

2010-01-27T19:42:00.000-08:00

It is a license to print monkey money I tells ya. Who says there is no easy money! Four hours of chimp mind numbing poker playing I am up .25 cents. The 50 cent level so far has been different , I mean really I thought it would be about the same as a 20 cent sng. Come on now! It is harder though.

CaptnPoppy Plays with a World Power Broker

2010-01-26T19:34:00.000-08:00

The Trilateral Commission is a private organization, established to foster closer co-operation among the United States, Europe and Japan. It was founded in July 1973 at the initiative of David Rockefeller, who was Chairman of the Council on Foreign Relations at that time. Now the John Birch Society believes that the Trilateral Commission is dedicated to the formation of one world government. Certain critics, such as Alex Jones, an American paleoconservative of "The Obama Deception" documentary, claim the "Commission constitutes a conspiracy seeking to gain control of the U.S. Government to create a new world order."
I am a chimp and know little of these matters but a Dude claiming to represent the council was at my poker table today. Trying to collect moneies for the one world government no doubt. It was a 50 cent sng so I guess it doesn't take too much money to broker world power. He was polite and didn't tilt when the player to his right called him a bundle of sticks, a girl dog, and a kitty cat repeatedly. I can tell you the name caller was out at 8th. I was out at 4th just shy of the money. I was suspicious that the commission had worked a deal to have me removed because of my classy play. I sent Mr. Wrinkles on a mission and we have what we think is an accurate picture of the player Trilateral. He is a tight player and a good player but importantly it seems he has friends. I would have never image by jumping up to the new 50 cent level games that I would be connected to the world of international finance and power brokering. What will the dollar level bring I wonder? Oh I now have approached twelve dollars in my bankroll.