Cardigan Empire

What to Wear on a Date

2012-01-27T08:37:00.000-08:00

After polling both myself AND my husband, it was conclusively agreed that effortless conversation was the number one social indicator of a successful date. And an easy conversation begins before you ever part your lipstick-stained pout.

Following are four steps for successful speaking in clothes:

Step one: Mirror
Simultaneous head nodding and mutual head tilting are physical manifestations of an intangible connection. Strengthen the link via wardrobe. If he is East Coast prep and you are West Coast bohemian, consider the nautically striped maxi dress. Find points of fashion commonality and gently orchestrate efforts to look like a couple.

But don’t forsake your genuine nature but do make token acknowledgments of the culture you are visiting. This includes the company and the environment. Even if you wear high-heeled slippers to bed, be willing to adapt to casual encounters. While it’s better to be overdressed than under, aim for a variance of under ten percent when compared to your surroundings.

Step two: Don't Speak in Trends
Women use fashion-forward clothing to stamp out their social hierarchy, but most men don’t speak exotic fashion dialects. Make sure you send him social cues in a language he can understand. Happy banter begins with common language, so reserve the harem pants for your girl’s night out.

Step three: Avoid Sartorial Expletives and Raiment Rambling
Your clothing should make an introduction, not dominate the conversation. While you may see the plaid jumpsuit as a perfect translation of your inner core, wait for a more committed relationship to share it. Just as tackling religion and politics isn’t advisable on an introductory date, neither are overly bold or personal clothing items. Hint at your rich soul through whimsical accessories rather than virtually flashing your date with a neon mu-mu complete with screen-printed traffic signal.

Step four: Be comfortable
The only thing equivalent to the repellant power of sweat pants is a preoccupation with clothing restrictions or potential wardrobe malfunctions. If it requires double sided tape, overly constrictive undergarments, or other acrobatics, opt out. It’s very difficult to be charming when you are simultaneously sucking your abdomen in and tugging your skirt down.

Likewise, don’t corset your natural style. Now is not the time to audition for a new role. Prepare your best, genuine self then shed your self-conscious glances in the mirror. Focus your energy on investigating the other person.

In the News: A Makeover for Miss America

2012-01-17T13:30:00.000-08:00

meat for meditation

Here She Is

Jenny I, Whine & Roses

January 6, 2012

(condensed version below, full text available here)

I’ve decided that I would like to be the next Miss America.

I am not kidding. I think I’d be great. Yes, I’m too old. I have no discernable talent. I am not perky, dedicated to public service, or particularly graceful. But I still think this could work. My current beef with the pageant is that the promoters insist that it’s not beauty pageant; it’s a “scholarship” pageant. Who are they trying to kid? If it were truly a “scholarship” pageant, the contestants wouldn’t be uniformly beautiful. They’d look like the occupants of the campus library on a Friday night. For me to win, though, there would have to be some serious revamping. There’d be no bathing suits, no helmet hair, and no plasticized smiles. It would have to become a true representation of the “average” woman in the U.S. today. Some would argue that it should not represent the norm; it should celebrate the “ideal” woman. I say that if they want to keep this thing afloat, they need to stir the pot a bit. They need, in a word, me. Here I am. Miss Unusual America.

Doing a little digging, I found that back in the day, the pageant was originally seen as a symbol of the U.S., with Miss America often being referred to as the “female equivalent” of the President. I think they should bring this concept back. Because I’m telling you, I think the presidency could be a two-person job. For example, the President could send me, as Miss America, in to deal with the Congress, with all the bickering, petty politics, and selfishness. I’m a middle school teacher – I can handle that sort of behavior. Set expectations with the senators and representatives. Let them know what the rules and guideline are. And make sure they know that there will be consequences for bad behavior.

“Senator, you shot down the bill to help extend veteran’s benefits. Is this appropriate behavior for the government?”

“But he started it!”

“Senator, stop poking the gentleman from Massachusetts.”

“I didn’t do anything!”

“Precisely. You will be given a 20 minute detention after today’s session and will lose several points in your next polling.”

“Aww, man…”

Consistency is key, with republicans, democrats, and seventh graders.

I think dealing with this sort of thing would also free up the actual elected president for other issues, like the economy, budgets, and nasty leaders of other countries. Let me take the light stuff – I’ll pardon the turkey, no problem. And if the Real President needs me to make an appearance in France and perhaps dine in fine restaurants, I’m on it.

As for the nuts and bolts of the competition, there are a few areas in which Miss America must be judged in order to win the crown. The first is a personal interview, where the candidate must be well spoken, articulate, polite and confident. Not surprisingly, this part is not televised. Too bad, because I think this could be my strongest area:

...

Host (beginning to sweat): What are your personal goals?

Pageant Me: I would someday like to pull off wearing skinny jeans and a beret. I would like to invent a chocolate cake that does not induce feelings of guilt and an immediate increase in fat cells. I would like to convince the USDA to classify wine as a fruit. I hope to convince the world and myself that wearing pajamas all day is cool and not, as my friend Sophie classifies it, “sadthetic.” And, most of all, I’d like to persuade Nathan Fillion that those hot Hollywood starlets are passé and he really needs to date a middle-aged woman with bifocals, saddlebags, an overdeveloped sense of snark and a killer lasagna recipe. (Looks at host) I think the word you’re looking for is, “Anyway…”

Perfect 10s all around. Nailed it!

Next up is the talent competition, which for many years has played fast and loose with the word, “talent.” In the past, many contestants overplayed the piano or violin, while some juggled, did fast sketching, or even ventriloquism. There have been firewalkers, tractor drivers, and the ubiquitous baton twirlers. Some sang loudly with dramatic pageant arm gestures, garbled arias, or delivered a maudlin torch song with a huge smile, because, as my friend Nadine said, “Miss America is not allowed to be sad.” No more. Let’s bring this area into the real world, too. How about a Spelling Bee? Bargain Shopping? Expensive Footwear Justification? Those would be interesting. But what can I do? I can look at a photo of a man and with less than three bits of general information, tell you why he’s still single.

“Mama’s Boy.”

“Napoleon complex.”

“Overcompensation for…shortcomings.”

“Bad breath.”

“Orders for a woman in a restaurant.”

“Calls women ‘babes.’”

“Continuously tells women they’re overreacting.”

“Needy.”

“Handsy.”

“Thinks he’s an artiste.”

“Career goal is to be on The Jersey Shore.”

“Is on The Jersey Shore.”

I can hold a violin while doing this, if it makes the judges more comfortable.

The next part of the competition is where they walk across the stage in the bathing suit and high heels. This is where I might have to take a pass. I won’t wear a suit in sunlight, much less a spotlight. And it’s not just an embarrassment issue; it’s really a logic issue. I mean, who wears a bikini (oh yeah, they can wear two-pieces now) and high heels? Since the main arena for bathing suit wearing is generally near water and not in an actual arena, it’s really a matter of safety. You could slip and twist an ankle. See? I’m looking out for my fellow Misses. Doesn’t that show depth and logical thinking? Now, if it’s a real problem, I’ll the don the suit, but I’ll wear it like most women my age wear it: with a knee-length t-shirt over it. Or with a sarong that starts under the armpits, reaches the knees, and is made of something that won’t stain if you get margaritas or pop-tarts on it.

On to evening wear. Now, my typical eveningwear is flannel pants and a “Mystic Warlords of Ka’a” t-shirt, so I’m thinking I might have to take it up a notch. Contestants in my new version of the pageant would be judged on poise, confidence, and who complains the least about how their double-Spanx was cutting into their waistline. I walk best in high heels if I’m carrying a cocktail and a plate of mini-quiche, so I’d see if I could work that in somehow. To make it more relevant, they could also judge on things real people generally do while wearing evening garb. We don’t just sashay, pivot, smile, sashay. We make small talk. We pretend to be glad to see someone. We eat cocktail franks. We sit through boring speeches. We fake smiles. We politely excuse ourselves to the ladies’ room to tug at our strapless bras. The pageant could tie this part in with the “onstage question” they pose of all finalists, which is topical, completely random, and for which they have no prep time. I could handle this much better than the Miss Teen U.S.A. contestant from a few years back who couldn’t give a coherent answer to why one fifth of Americans can’t find the U.S. on a map. (Yes, I’m cutting her slack because she is a teenager, but this couldn’t have been her first time on the merry-go-round.) Her answer? “I personally believe that U.S. Americans are unable to do so…uhmmm…don't have maps … I, education like such as, uh, South Africa, and uh, the Iraq…our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., uh…help South Africa… help the Iraq and the Asian countries so we will be able to build up our future, for us.” (I’m not sure how South Africa fits into this, but maybe she thinks they can’t find America on a map, either.) I hope, at least, that she looked good in a swimsuit.

My answer?

“They’re idiots.”

Done.

I really think we can get the Miss America pageant to be popular again. It just needs to be relevant. Right now, saying Miss America represents women in this country is like saying reality television represents…reality. There’s a real disconnect. Miss America should be outstanding, but not so incredibly removed from the rest of us that she ceases to become real. These things that they’re currently judged on in the pageant are not really life skills. We want our Miss America to be a representation of the best in all women. And that does not involve walking across a stage in high heels and a bikini. That’s why I think I’d make a good Miss America (or, in my case, Ms. America, thank you). I’ve survived in the real world. I have life experience. I’ve burned pot roasts. And I’ve raised a glass of wine, both figuratively and literally, with some amazing, brilliant, kick-ass women who I feel privileged to call my friends.

Plus, I’d love any excuse to wear a tiara on a regular basis. And if I added a cape and some awesome boots to the ensemble, I’m pretty sure I could take over the world. Who’s with me?

------------

So how do you think we could update Miss America to make her a relevant ideal?

Live in the Beehive

2012-01-16T12:49:00.000-08:00

I will be hosted by my native state next week Tuesday, January 24th through Saturday, January 28th.

If you reside in the home of the Great Salt Lake, in either the Salt Lake or Provo vicinity, and long for a face to face, tete-a-tete styling session, please contact me at reachel@cardiganempire.com to schedule either a mini or full appointment.

So You Want to be a Fashion Stylist

2012-01-13T07:55:00.000-08:00

(British Vogue Editorial 2008)

Think you have an eye for fashion?

Top 5 Reasons to Register for Wardrobe Strategies at MCC taught by yours truly:

Upon completion, you can wage battle against Rachel Zoe and her nefarious battalion of size 0 Zoebots (all armored with darkly tanned skins and large sunglasses)
TEC 245 counts toward an Image Consulting certificate. Said certificate would look very smart framed in a gilded gold frame in your personal styling office.
A Friday morning dedicated to dressing up makes a lovely elective, perfectly accenting classes like biochemistry.
I will teach you everything I know and a few things I don't. My goal is to glory in your future success.
You'll be prepared to make the world a prettier place

Spread the word to your collegiate fashion smarties. Registration closes, and classes start, Monday, January 23rd.

Wardrobe Strategies, TEC 245
M 7:10 PM - 9:45 PM, 3 CR

Syllabus includes: body type dressing, color analysis, personal styles identification, closet cleaning, wardrobe maximization, shopping strategies, and much more.

What to Wear to a Job Interview

2012-01-10T23:00:00.000-08:00

In another life, I reigned countess professional
Business suits stapled my high school senior year,
favoring a briefcase over a backpack.
Graduated in Marketing,
added the MBA acronym.
Interned with GE,
job offer from Accenture.
Vice president before the age of twenty-five.

Doubt not what may appear to be an unassuming fashion flirt at present. Trust me when I say, I can help you dress for a job interview

Step one: Determine the dress code
Somewhere in the eclipse of the last decade, dotcom scruffies partnered with premium denim manufactures and admitted flip flops, screen printed t-shirts, and short pants into the corporate closet. Fortuitously, inevitable economics and time-honored taste burst that bedheaded bubble, yet in the rubble we are left with only hazy shimmering hints at what used to be clear dress code boundaries.

Thus savvy employment pursants assume the role of industrial anthropologist and ask insiders about day to day dress. Established vocational vestiges are direct indications of corporate culture. If the office standard includes jeans, t-shirts, and high tops, don't dryclean your suit. Adopt the office orthodox but elevate it ever so slightly with a blazer.

Arriving in the cultural equivalent of either a prom gown or pajama knickers shows a lack of regard for the trade's traditions.

Step two: Add yourself
Don't forget to bring yourself to the interview. Secure every uniform snap, but add a touch of your own charisma: a brooch on your blazer, a scarf on your satchel. Mix three parts conformity with one part creativity to stand out and above the competition.

And should the costume you assume for the audition makes you feel self conscious, perhaps you should reconsider your character choice.

Step three: Orient your details
Now is the time to indulge your OCD tendencies. A run in your stockings translates into sloppy phone etiquette. A missed button on your shirt sleeve indicates a tendency to miss deadlines. Shoe scuffs construe a propensity to send e-mails san-spellcheck.

Step four: Go underboard
Avoid undue distractions: dark sticky lipstick on your teeth, maniacal hair tossing, strong, musky odors. Makeup should be simple and pretty. Hair should be neat and secure. Scents should be clean and fresh.

Limit yourself to three accessories and select a bag and overcoat based on the fact that they will be the first and last thing your interviewer sees.

In short your interview outfit should introduce you from across the room, act as a reference in favor of your skills and abilities, then get out of the way.

In the News: A Call to Resurrect Pretty

2012-01-09T21:09:00.000-08:00

I present you meat for meditation:

The Death of Pretty

By Pat Archibald

December 21, 2011

This post is intended as a lament of sorts, a lament for something in the culture that is dying and may never been seen again.

Pretty, pretty is dying.

People will define pretty differently. For the purposes of this piece, I define pretty as a mutually enriching balanced combination of beauty and projected innocence.

Once upon a time, women wanted to project an innocence. I am not idealizing another age and I have no illusions about the virtues of our grandparents, concupiscence being what it is. But some things were different in the back then. First and foremost, many beautiful women, whatever the state of their souls, still wished to project a public innocence and virtue. And that combination of beauty and innocence is what I define as pretty.

By nature, generally when men see this combination in women it brings out their better qualities, their best in fact. That special combination of beauty and innocence, the pretty inspires men to protect and defend it.

Young women today do not seem to aspire to pretty, they prefer to be regarded as hot. Hotness is something altogether different. When women want to be hot instead of pretty, they must view themselves in a certain way and consequently men view them differently as well.

As I said, pretty inspires men’s nobler instincts to protect and defend. Pretty is cherished. Hotness, on the other hand, is a commodity. Its value is temporary and must be used. It is a consumable.

Nowhere is this pretty deficit more obvious than in our “stars,” the people we elevate as the “ideal.” The stars of the fifties surely suffered from the same sin as do stars of today. Stars of the fifties weren’t ideal but they pursued a public ideal different from today.

The merits of hotness over pretty is easy enough to understand, they made an entire musical about it. Who can forget how pretty Olivia Newton John was at the beginning of Grease.

Beautiful and innocent. But her desire to be desired leads her to throw away all that is valuable in herself in the vain hopes of getting the attention of a boy. In the process, she destroys her innocence and thus destroys the pretty. What we are left with is hotness.

Hotness is a consumable. A consumable that consumes as it is consumed but brings no warmth.

Most girls don’t want to be pretty anymore even if they understand what it is. It is ironic that 40 years of women’s liberation has succeeded only in turning women into a commodity. Something to be used up and thrown out.

Of course men play a role in this as well, but women should know better and they once did. Once upon a time you would hear girls talk about kind of women men date and the kind they marry. You don’t hear things like that anymore.

But here is the real truth. Most men prefer pretty over hot. Even back in 6th grade I hated the “hot” Olivia Newton John and felt sorry for her that she had to debase herself in such a way. Still do.

Our problem is that society doesn’t value innocence anymore, real or imagined. Nobody aspires to innocence anymore. Nobody wants to be thought of as innocent, the good girl. They want to be hot, not pretty.

I still hope that pretty comes back, although I think it not likely any time soon. For every Taylor Swift, there are a hundred Megan Foxs, or Lindsay Lohans, or Miley Cyruses etc.

Girls, please, bring back the pretty.

And I query, How do we bring pretty back?

Relive and Relish: The Baby Wedding Movie

2012-01-05T22:38:00.000-08:00

i would craft a clever caption here, but clicking keys could interfere with the repeated playback of mine and the babies' favorite new film.

i fiercely fancy float away films
their services are of the reasonably priced variety
which means you can capture the best days of your life, even the ordinary ones
portfolio here

-----------------------

also float away films and i are palling up to capture
an entire set of body type films.
so if you have a body, in the greater Phoenix area, and you desire
a complimentary styling session, message me.

New Year's - The Musical - Twenty-Twelve Arrives

2012-01-03T08:00:00.000-08:00

Twenty-Eleven brought a bushel and a peck of blessings, and I was determined to give it a celebratory bon voyage.

The Opening Act

(inspiration)

The Cast

The Result

Twenty-Four+ plates dirtied (because I despise plastic and paper) from Miss Saigon Sushi, Marry Poppin's Scones, 7 for 7 Mountain Man Stew (nice abbreviation no?), Hairspray Chicken Wings (hairspray modifying chicken as an inspiration rather than a dressing), West Side Story Sweet Corn Tamale Cakes, and a myriad of other broadway belly fillers.

Musical charades were performed, everyone sang at least a bar, and most of us kept our eyes open until the New Year rang in.

My Costume Breakdown

Garcia Dress, Anthropologie

Sequin Front Cardigan, Banana Republic

tutorial for False Eyelashes and Cat Eye Liner

And I should have gotten a bumpit to achieve a sixties inspired coif, but we learn from our mistakes.

Add a comment telling me your favorite musical

And teeth-trim your nails anticipating the upcoming Dress for a New Beginning Feature:

Job Interviews

First Dates

Newborn Babies

The Rest of Your Life

Or please do submit your own request in the comments

Let Cardigan Empire fashion your resolutions. Commit to a Fashion Package: combining a theoretical look book & a practical virtual shopping session

And a Soul-Full New Year

2012-01-01T12:07:00.000-08:00

Carrie is a soul that bears no smirk of judgement, malice, or selfishness. Her smile is always sincere and her hugs are legendary.

Sunday is a perfect day to visit a dear, genuine friend with

an essay

that took me five months to write.

New Year's Eve Make-Up: How to Apply False Eyelashes & Cat Eyeliner

2011-12-31T09:30:00.000-08:00

West Side Story is indisputably the best musical ever released. Opposing arguments may be presented but will unfortunately but inevitably be classified as wrong. Which is why, I'm dressing up as Maria for our annual New Year's Even Gala, (pictures to be published, post holiday). 2011's theme is musicals and in order to achieve Natalie Wood, a strong retro eye is requisite.

In case you too need to copy Natalie's falsified cats too, I've posted a tutorial.

Happy New Year!!

Tell me how you rang in the New Year in the comments.

2012 Preview: Deliberate Living

2011-12-29T21:13:00.000-08:00

source

2011 was epic: baby the sequel, sister wife remodel and reconciliation, and the baby wedding.

It was also reactionary and survivalist. I was and am grateful, but it was like gasping and gulping down a ebi rolls, falafels, and Cherry Clafoutis all at once with nary a moment to relish a future memory's flavor.

2012 I am recovering control. I am going to live deliberately.

And we started with Levi's first birthday.

May 11th, would have been a consummate birth date for my son. Enviable weather and plenty of space between competing holidays, but LSB was born at 3 am in the morning the day after Christmas, and I was determined to deliberately celebrate his birthday.

Now, the thing about babies is they don't really like presents. They don't really even like alterations in schedules. But if you can keep food in their bellies and sleep under the eyelids, they'll permit a little extra attention and excitement. So we went to the...

McCormick-Stillman Railroad Park in Scottsdale

We rode the carousel, twice

chortled on swings

and following a well earned nap, we went to Organ Stop Pizza

It wasn't elaborate, expensive, or overly imaginative, but it was perfectly deliberate, and fun. And there's more relish ready courses of that to anticipate.

What's your intended New Year's Resolution?

2012 Preview & The DIY Christmas Recap

2011-12-28T17:15:00.000-08:00

This year the Bagley's constructed Christmas around a DIY blueprint

Andrew built Coco a swing.

And fashioned a chandelier for my closet to be.

I wrote Levi a book.
(all I claim the ability to craft is words)

And Levi made us smile.

Coco employed the best talents and resources at her disposal.

Now for everyone who wishes to pound a pin in pretty during 2012,
Handy Andy has promised to share
DIY tutorials.

What do you want to learn to make first?

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!!

Merry Christmas Empire

2011-12-25T11:21:00.000-08:00

Words by Reachel Bagley, Illustrations by Beth Allen of Le Petit Cheval

read the true tale of how Levi came to us one year ago tomorrow, here.

Merry, Merry Christmas.

And an extra Merry to Lauren

who won the Le Petit Cheval Giveaway!

Naught Holiday Fashion Reformed: Presents and Bows

2011-12-23T23:07:00.001-08:00

Wrapped in ribbons, the Christmas sweater in which I first met my baby daughter

Coal creates diamonds, but candied fashion leads to visual cavities.

More Asos...

Let Cardigan Empire bedeck you for the holidays.  Gift yourself or a dear one a Fashion Package: combining a theoretical look book & a practical virtual shopping session

Naughty Holiday Fashion Reformed: Snowflakes

2011-12-22T09:19:00.000-08:00

Snowflakes, heaven's lace

Let us sparkle rather than blink and shimmer rather than bobble, try one of these tasteful hints at winter's trademark.

More Tory Burch...

Let Cardigan Empire bedeck you for the holidays.  Gift yourself or a dear one a Fashion Package: combining a theoretical look book & a practical virtual shopping session

Naughty Holiday Fashion Reformed: Winter Woodland Animals

2011-12-21T10:15:00.000-08:00

My favorite woodland creatures sweater forested with squirrels, snails, and bears.

I have an old lady heart. I can run without a walker, but I covet many an old lady's treasures: delicate crochet collars, cross-stitched accessories, and ... christmas sweaters.

But sometimes, old lady fashion falls victim to dementia.

Just in time for Christmas, woodland animal wear is rehabilitated. Any of these styles would flatter an old lady of any age:

More YMC...

Let Cardigan Empire bedeck you for the holidays.  Gift yourself or a dear one a Fashion Package: combining a theoretical look book & a practical virtual shopping session

Beauty-Full Tuesday: Entries from An Original Life Pattern

2011-12-20T05:38:00.000-08:00

A panacea to perfectionism, unending social comparisons, and debilitating negativity, all in the pretty wise package known as Jessica from Entries from An Original Life Pattern

in my experience, we as women have a much easier time bestowing the word "beautiful" on others than we do giving it to ourselves. aaand i'm not exception. i think it's easier most times to seek beauty outside of ourselves instead of allowing ourselves to feel beautiful.

but for me that's what makes the difference - allowing myself to feel and be beautiful.

for a long time i denied myself the privilege of feeling beautiful. but after waking up, i started on a journey toward what i think is true beauty: self acceptance. during my journeying, there are a few things i do to allow myself to feel beautiful. okay... there are a lot! but for the sake of space {and your time} i'll just share three or four!

one} take care of myself. this seems excessively broad, but for me it boils down to consistently doing a few things every day to make myself feel of worth. things like making time to exercise and eat good food, making time to pray and connect with God. i try to cover my bases so i feel taken care of physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, metaphorically...metaphysically.. you get the idea - in all areas! i call these my dailies. at the beginning of each week i plan three or four dailies for each day. most of the time i don't get all of them done, but it's consistently giving my best effort to self care that makes the difference. sometimes {especially on busy weeks} these are very basic: eating three healthy meals a day, getting some exercise, reading scripture, painting my nails. when i'm in the habit of really taking care of myself it's so much easier to stay positive, think on the bright side, and rise above traps like social comparison and perfectionism.

two} be creative! i'm an artist at heart. before pursuing a degree in the social sciences, i dreamed of limitless creativity. when i sold my soul to the family sciences i thought i'd kissed goodbye the ability to truly create. but after a while i learned that anyone can create anywhere - it extends from the art department, to the business building, and down to testing center. {forgive my college jargon - last week was finals so it's on the brain.} we're all bestowed with creative ability and all equally capable of developing that ability. and there's something to be said for creating something that you can truly call your own {whether it's an idea, an image, a cookie, or a blog post}. it's good to be able to say, look. i did that! i made that all by myself from my own mind. it's invigorating, and fills the soul with a recognition of the great worth we have - which is really, really beautiful.

three} last, but not least, nurture healthy relationships. i can think of few things greater than a relationship that uplifts both parties, and nothing as terrible as one that pulls both down. when you know that someone loves you just how you are {and would still if you made a massive mistake or gained thirty pounds} it makes all the self-seen flaws shrink in importance and gives individually-viewed worth a big boost. having someone to turn to who can show your worth in a moment when you can't seem to get hold of it is absolutely necessary. for me, this is my mom, sisters, and awesome fiance {nine days till the wedding!}. when i'm down on myself, having a heart-felt conversation can lift me up and make me realize there's more to life than great grades... or what jeans size i am... or that crazy driver that cut me off. it gives good perspective to have healthy relationships. and a fabulous friend can help anyone dig up that self-worth, break out the nail polish and chick-flicks, and help you feel downright beautiful.

one last thought. {i know i said number three was the last, but bear with me. this one's short.} if all else fails, look outside of yourself. it takes loving yourself to be able to really love others, but we're creatures of reciprocity. we thrive on cyclical pattern. i don't just mean the old "what about the starving children in anywhere..." routine. looking at the drastically less fortunate always just put me in a bad mood and made me feel ungrateful {no disrespect meant to starving children anywhere, by the way}. i mean help someone else recognize their true beauty and self-worth. write a note, give a compliment, spend time creating some cookies for a friend... whatever it takes to get you outside of your own head and into the life of someone you can help. for me, lifting someone else is a sure way to feel that my life is worth something.

so there you have it! my great strategy for living after the manner of happiness. because when we can recognize our self-worth and learn to give ourselves the word "beautiful," happy is what we'll be. and i'd say that thought is pretty darn beautiful.

Last Minute Meaningful Gifts: Le Petit Cheval Giveaway (CLOSED)

2011-12-19T09:55:00.000-08:00

The Lavender Scented Bath Salts should continue their path through decomposition on the aluminum convenience store shelf next to the Chocolate Covered Cherry Cordials. Deliver a gift she'll store in her heart instead of the back of her bathroom cupboard.

Le Petit Cheval

For Your Tweenage Daughter
A reminder that she doesn't need to alter an atom

For Your Newlywed Baby Sister
To commemorate her recent nuptials

For Your Mother Who Never Seems to Need Anything
A simple pleasure print (limited quantity available)

For Your Pregnant Cousin
Custom baby shower invitations, announcements, or a
decorative print of birth details honoring her imminent arrival

For your Letter Writing Nana
Personalized stationery bearing her monogram

For your Engaged Bestie
A gift worthy to sit below the tag: From your maid of honor

For the Love of Your Life
A tailored fairy tale, or whatever other personalized fancy you envision. Contact her for custom work, then start stretching your jaw so you don't injure yourself when she responds and it drops.

Win a $25 Gift Certificate

to be used towards any purchase at Le Petit Cheval

Respond with the best gift you ever received or gave.

And while you await the ding of my e-mail arriving in your inbox with prize claiming details, enjoy

25% off the entire Le Petit Cheval line

with the coupon code

HOLIDAYCHEER

Most pieces can be customized within 48 hours. Then you just print and deliver. For professionally prints delivered by post, order ASAP and she will do her best to deliver by Christmas.

Pretty From Every Angle: Food

2011-12-16T08:46:00.000-08:00

I like to eat. And I believe pretty food adds to a pretty person. Below Carolyn from the Blog Content Guild tells us a little more about what makes food pretty from the inside out.

source

Healthy Meal Ideas:
Super Foods If you’re feeling lethargic and your complexion is less than glowing, even the best concealer probably isn’t going to get the job done. Try stocking up the fridge with super foods and vitamins to make your skin bright and your eyes sparkle. These healthy meal ideas will make you both feel and look great.

1. Almonds
Okay, basically every health-freak is “nuts” over almonds, with good reason! Actually, almonds are not nuts, but seeds chock-full of good stuff like vitamin E, protein, and magnesium. Vitamin E is a sun blocker, protecting your sensitive skin from the sun’s harsh, aging rays. The magnesium in almonds also helps you grow long, shiny, beautiful locks. Try swapping your peanut butter for almond butter or, if you tend to overdo it with dairy, opt for almond milk. Almond oil can also be applied to the scalp and hair as an inexpensive, but extremely affective hair mask. Just leave on for 20 minutes, rinse with shampoo, and watch your hair glimmer with a new sheen.

2. B12 vitamins
B12 is a wonder vitamin, known for boosting energy of on-stage performers and musicians. But this vitamin has other uses, too. Not only does it boost energy, it also speeds up metabolism, gives you healthy skin, nails, and hair, and promotes emotional wellbeing. You can get a good dose of B12 in foods like eggs or salmon or you can take your daily B12 vitamin to really see results in your mood, energy levels, hair, and nails.

3. Spinach
There’s a reason why spinach made Popeye so strong. It is by far one of the healthiest, most nutrient-dense foods out there. Low in calories and high in cancer-fighting antioxidants, vitamin A, vitamin K, and manganese, spinach has been cited as nutritionally beneficial for just about everything. Not only that, but it has also been known to slow aging and plump up wrinkled skin. So it’s true then, you really are what you eat, inside and out! To get that bounce back in your step, pick up these three items at your grocery store.

What's your favorite Super Food?

Live the Life of a Catalog: J.Crew

2011-12-14T13:21:00.000-08:00

Timeless yet fresh, classic yet surprising. Enroll for an education on J.Crew.

Slightly Androgynous:
the most feminine item in a J.Crew look is the woman wearing the clothes. Garments are tailored to her figure but remain naked enough for her to take the lead.

Classic with a Twist
Individual pieces find their distinction in combinations: chestnut and seafoam, wedding gowns and thickly framed glasses,

All American
Drawing from its East Coast roots, its timeless stylings represent cross generational americana

Refined:
simple elegant details finish every look. A thin patent leather belt or a sumptuous structured satchel, finishing elements are always applied but never overdone.

J.Crew Look for Less

Gap

Old Navy

J.Crew Factory

Plus Size Options

Old Navy

And don't forget a clean face with poppy flame lipstick

J.Crew Women

Let a J.CrewAfficiado create a distinctive brand identifiable look for you. A complete Fashion Package: combines a theoretical look book & a practical virtual shopping session

Beauty-Full Tuesday: I Love You Long Time

2011-12-13T05:00:00.000-08:00

Beautiful starts now, don't miss of i dot or a t dash from Missus Mandy of Love You Long Time

He told me I was beautiful. It was late at night, and we were under this enormous New Hampshire willow. The summer night was getting cold, but not so cold that we would touch quite yet, although that would come. The stars hung heavy in the sky and felt closer than the night before somehow – and he told me I was beautiful.

I didn’t believe him at first, which is sad and something that I think a lot of us as women tend to do. The blushing denial wherein we shake our heads and pretend it wasn’t said. We look around and point to ourselves as if to say, “You don’t mean me –“when we know exactly who he meant. But when he told me I was beautiful I felt like he was right. So I said thank you, and I didn’t blush, and I didn’t avoid his eyes.

That was the first time I really believed I was beautiful, because my entire life prior I thought beauty had a timeline. In Junior High it was, “When I get my braces off,” in High School it was, “When I fill out a little” (never happened, FYI), in college it was, “When I can afford to buy nice clothes and get my hair done.” I pushed off beauty. I thought it was a destination – a place I would get to, not realizing that I was already beautiful – and I was beautiful not because of all of those seemingly important things, but because I was kind – or tried to be, and I had friends and family who loved me and I was becoming someone I was proud of becoming. That is why he told me I was beautiful.

It is difficult to believe in our beauty. We believe in the beauty of others - sure, but not ourselves. We pore over fashion magazines, and ask our hairstylist to, “Make us look like her,” always disappointed in the result when we look like ourselves after the process, with a hairstyle that definitely does not flatter our long, or round or heart-shaped face. We buy clothes because someone else wore them first. We attempt to lose weight because someone else is thin and they wear thin well. We mimic beauty to the best of our abilities because beauty is something we don’t believe we will ever possess.

We all know the cliché about true beauty starting inside of us, but let me state it again because it is the truth. The heart of beauty is self-love - which is very different from vanity. Self-love is to embrace our imperfections – our split ends, and flat chest and unshaved legs (if you are me), because at the end of every single day we only have ourselves, and we can either be our closest ally or truest enemy. We don’t need a man to tell us we are beautiful to believe it because when he told me I was beautiful it was something I already knew, but didn’t believe. I think each of us really know it all along if we try hard enough to hear our lungs and eyes and hearts reassure us every day we get to live on this earth. This earth is beautiful because we are on it and we are improving it – and that is how I feel beautiful.

Me and the boy who told me I was beautiful

Goodie Jar Giveaway WInner

2011-12-12T22:03:00.001-08:00

one

two

three

four

five

Andrew's Annual Work Party =

a) an excuse to wear false eyelashes

b) an opportunity to cavort in a photobooth

c) a hope to see my husband dance once everyone else is inebriated

d) a clue to the winning Goodie Jar Giveaway Entry

e) all of the above

Goodie Jar Giveaway Winner: #5 Zumbra

Get your hand into the Goodie Jar, because you need to fill your fist with $25 worth of pretties.

Contact me and we will negotiate delivery.

Live the Life of a Catalog: How to Dress Like Anthropologie

2011-12-09T08:11:00.001-08:00

As promised below is the decoder ring to the Anthropologie Aesthetic.

In other examples:

Feminine.

Style is signed with Romantic and Bohemian strokes.

Down Country/Rugged.

Provence not Paris. Efforts should be made to keep the look slightly rugged. Thick sweaters over gossamer blouses, silk dresses over aged leather boots. Mix your Yin & Yang or Highs & Lows.

Traveled/Wanderlust.

Culture, food, and customs inspire her home and wardrobe. Liberally mix and match ethnic prints and global materials.

Educated/Cultivated.

Anthro-ites are well read, well spoken, and curious. Abandon the path of straight and narrow matching in favor of unexpected color and pattern combinations.

Distinction Footwear:
Boots & Blocky Embellished Heels

Trademark Accessory:
Statement Necklaces & Scarves

Unmistakeable Styling:

Mismatched Prints and Patterns

In actual execution:

Anthro-philes demonstrate.
Alex (pregnancy induced middle figure, warm complexion, bohemian style)
Beth (linear figure, cool & delicate complexion, romantic style)

Feminine: Floral Prints + Bohemian Hues

(yes 6 months pregnant!!)

Down Country: Equestrian Print + Statement Necklace

Traveled: Exotic Camels + Statement Necklace

Educated: Unexpected print pairing

Accessories: Scarf + Boots

Thanks to Behind the Dressing Room Door for a comprehesive archive of Anthropologie Catalogs dating to the early 2000's.

And now that you know the keys, find the Anthro Look for Less at:

Tulle

ModCloth

ShopRuche

Or assemble an Anthropologie ensemble in Plus Sizes:

eShakti

Let an Anthropologie expert (7 years of personal shopping) create a distinctive brand identifiable look for you. A complete Fashion Package: combines a theoretical look book & a practical virtual shopping session

Live the Life of a Catalog + Goodie Jar Giveaway (CLOSED)

2011-12-07T10:02:00.001-08:00

By the third dawn of any new month, I can break the seal on a dream from my mailbox: a Peruvian Christmas, whimsical romance in an industrial flat, acting in an independent theatrical production. Living between the glossy still frames of a catalog may by beyond the reach of your manicure, but the least I can do is relate how to combine and style pieces to look like your pretty little foot just stepped out of one. And I'll even have some acclaimed and applauded guest bloggers to cooperate in our cause.

Here are the docketed brands to date:

clash clever not crazy

Combine equal parts bold and unexpected with classic and traditional

But alas, who else to include? Kate Spade, 7 For All Mankind, Zara's, Bebe, Lucky Brand, H&M, Juicy Couture?

Pray divulge your bestie brand in the comments. If you do, you'll be entered to win a $25 prize from the Goodie Jar.

In the meantime enter drop "Empire11" into the Goodie Jar checkout to deduct 15% off your total.

Spread giveaway cheer via Facebook, Twitter, or some other social mechanism and you get an additional entry.

Beauty-Full Tuesday: Anna Sanford Lowe

2011-12-06T05:30:00.001-08:00

It takes a lot for me to pull out a dictionary, but semiotics, I like a girl willing to string together a rarely used combination of syllables. I like Anna Sanford Lowe.

In 2005 Elder Holland gave a talk, "To Young Women", in the October session. A few lines of this incredibly insightful talk have been permanently burned in my memory and heart:

"I plead with you young women to please be more accepting of yourselves, including your body shape and style, with a little less longing to look like someone else. We are all different. Some are tall, and some are short. Some are round, and some are thin. And almost everyone at some time or other wants to be something they are not!"

My whole life I have tried to "fit in". To be someone I am not. I wanted to look like everyone else. Average. Normal. I have had to stop using those words, because I reached a point in my life where I realized that they don't have any meaning. Now I am not delving into semiotics here, claiming words have no definitions, but normal, average have no meaning because they mean something different for every person. There was a time in my life when I measured my thighs multiple times a day. What was the ideal measurement? Someone once asked me that. And suddenly, I realized. There is no normal. There is no perfect thigh size. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And I am the beholder in the mirror everyday. I had to start believing that I am beautiful. I had to stop trying to "fit in." Because that state of being doesn't exist. We are who we are. And we need to like the way we are.

I thought about some lines from one of my favorite ever, and ever children's books: I Like the Way You Are. Two turtles. Two friends. Very different. And at the end of each story, one turtle says to the other: "I am who I am. And I am not who I am not." And the friend turtle answers back: "I like the way you are." I cry almost every time I read that book with my kids. I want to put those lines on each of their walls and say it to them every night before they go to bed. And when they wake up. And when they come home from school crying because someone said they were too this or not enough that. I want them to know and be proud of who they are. And proud of who they are not. And to know that I, and their Heavenly Father, LOVE the way they are.

Here is the big surprise: I am skinny. I covet my daughters' thick, healthy thighs (they're 3 and 2). I have tried to make myself gain weight through eating, prayer, weight gaining shakes. But you know what: my body seems to know something that took my head and heart a lot longer to learn: I am who I am. I am not who I am not. And I like the way I am. My body has a blueprint and it knows who it is. And I am learning to love that person. It is different from my sisters, my mom, my grandma, my friends, my sisters-in-law, my mother-in-law. But it is me.

That is why Elder Holland's talk resonated with me. Because everyone wants to be something they are not. So many people want to be thinner. And I have spent my life trying to be bigger. I am no one's ideal. Just like they are not mine. Because there is no ideal. There is no perfect measurement. There is no normal.

And thank goodness! We are all so beautiful and so different. The world would be so boring if we all looked the same. When I look at other people, I don't see weight, I see beauty. I see personality. I see love. I see faith and charity. When I look at myself, I am trying to see those same things. Because if everyone is trying to be someone else, we are not spending enough time being ourselves. And God needs us to be ourselves.

Elder Holland quotes a Young Women leader, "'When you let people’s opinions make you self-conscious you give away your power. … The key to feeling [confident] is to always listen to your inner self—[the real you.]'"

Everyday I tell myself that I love being me. I love my imperfections and my strengths. It is all me. My weight does not define me, if I do not let it. There is no normal. We are all beautiful, powerful daughters of God. And I like the way we are. I like the way I am.