Oh my ...

134: the strongest attraction I felt for the past few years

2012-03-08T18:19:00.001+08:00

Do you ever believe in attraction at first sight? ~ because I simply do.

This is not the 'you find the person handsome/pretty at first sight and an instant like' nor the 'wow you are so hot i want to sleep with you' but rather the kind of feeling where in the moment you saw the person, you felt an intangible pull? The kind of feeling that you got suddenly so attuned of the person for unknown reason?

I cannot help but to grin and unconsciously tuck my hair behind my ear when my sister and I met this financial advisor for the investment that I am planning to buy. He's not actually that very handsome. He is rather a regular guy. But when he came in his blue crisp long sleeves, with black square patterned necktie, and shook our hands, I was charmed. Undeniably charmed.

While he was discussing investments with my sister (they are both in financial world, so they talk about technical stuff), I was observing him: He was neat, smelled great (he's not using a musky perfume! Thank God), his nails are neatly trimmed, and he was wearing a conservative silver watch. Quite a gentleman, and never boring. Plus, I thought his pre-matured gray hair suits him very well. I can absentmindedly listen to him talk about bonds, equity, and market all night long and stare at him and see if I can catch those lurking smile every now and then.

My ...

My God. I'm in trouble.

133: A Visit From Sister and an Impromptu Beach Get Away

2012-03-03T13:34:00.002+08:00

There was quite a lot of things that have happened for the past few weeks. First, my sister arrived from Singapore. I took a leave in the office so I could savor the days she spent at home. During the time that she was here we spent nothing but talk about business, success, happiness, and God. I - seriously, seriously love love talking to my sister about this stuff; because it makes me feel wiser and humbled. I love how she continues to nurture me with her wisdom and her faith. I love how we talk because talking to her about dreams, ambitions, and plans stimulates me and makes me realize how possible it is.

I have have a wonderful relationship with my sister. She and I have been each other's confidante, and each other's best friends. She's my anchor in this world. ☺

To give you an idea, my sister is a helluva ambitious. So during those time we have been planning our future success in life. lol.

During our "planning" session @ UCC cafe

My sister did not stay long and had to go back to Singapore, but not until we found myself an insurance company to invest in, help me understand some things in financial world, had our facials together, dined out, and had lectured me of my relationship with God. It was indeed fun.

She have left last Feb 26, 2012. *sigh*

Next, my friends and I had an impromptu beach get away last Feb 28, 2012. My friend, Joy had texted me Feb 26, 2012. I have ignored it because it seems a little too hasty. I thought that the plan was too unplanned and realized the likeliness that it wouldn't happen. But then last Feb 27, 2012 she made a follow-up text literally begging me to go with her -- not to disappoint her because she has to bathe in a salt-walter because of her skin - condition which is a Psoriasis.

I was waiting for mr. FA when she texted me. I was titillated because I like the idea of hitting the beach, and her statement "I wanted to relieve some stress too" beguiled me. So I texted some friends and passed the invitation. It was unfortunate that four of my girl friends were not able to join us because they have work. But we were glad that we were able to push through with our plans. Here our pictures:

The past few days had been really packed for me. I met with few people to deal business with, hangout with my friends, and literally go-nuts with the whole idea of investments and future planning. I love learning, discovering, and doing new things. It excites me how much I didn't know about the world.

132: Of Romance Book

2012-02-21T08:10:00.005+08:00

I never really have said it aloud, but yes I have weakness for romance books (seriously, people should stop calling it a trashy novel. okay?). What I particularly love about romance book is that it's an easy read, romantic, and always have a HEA.

To let you know, I totally have an aversion towards books that has no happy ending. If you ask why, it's because it pains me so much when the book ends up tragically. There's this book that I've read which I have invested my emotion and it ended up breaking my freaking heart. From then on, I told myself that I will avoid such kind of books.

Then I was introduced to romance novels.

The first romance novel I have ever read was written by Judith McNaught entitled Remember When. It was the book that made me fall in love with the genre. After discovering Judith's books, I ended up searching for books in the same type.

If you're going to ask me what particularly kind of romance reader I am, I'll tell you that I am fond of historical romance. Historical romances are just totally engaging. I love the dresses, the courting, the parties, and the etiquette the book tells about.

Plus, plus historical romances have those incredible cheesy raunchy book covers and step backs. I love love them.

Anyway if you're new to romance, I'd tell you to read Judith McNaught, Lisa Kleypas, or Julia Quinn. They were a better romance to start with. ☺

131: Deeper than the flesh

2012-02-18T10:08:00.002+08:00

If you follow me on twitter, you'd see this twitpic that I have sent yesterday. I was so taken with Claire's passionate love with Jaime that I have to take this picture. If you want to know, I am currently reading Diana Gabaldon's Drums of Autumn. It's the fourth installment of her Outlander series; and the story was still as good as the first book. ♥

*sigh*.

Happy Weekend.

130: A Sad Post

2012-02-16T16:32:00.003+08:00

Finally, at home. Yesterday, I got some upsetting email from my boss and since we will be having a meeting with her I was a bit nervous about it because I know I was in trouble. When we started our meeting I was really hoping that she won't pin point to the mistakes our team have done and end up highlighting my name. I was lucky that our boss did not name "us" (who made mistakes) but generally discussed the errors with us. It was embarrassing enough that she had emailed all of my team with my name in the screenshot who did the mistake. hahaha! Oh well. It happens.

On other things, I am little saddened of the fact that my father seems to be a little distant today [which was weird]. It started when my brother and I was not able to buy my mother something for Valentines. I really did not mean not to buy her a flowers, I wanted to, I just failed to do so. But I am planning to make up for it. I'll be buying her a flowers and a cake. Anyway, I believe that it was mostly where the drama started; because he had ranted how disappointed he was. But I do not know, my father has an unpredictable mood swings, and today might just be that day.

To say, my relationship with my father is complicated. Our relationship with him is complicated. I wish I could elaborate but I can't so let's leave it that way. Tomorrow's another day, let's just hope for a brighter one.

129: Goals 2012

2012-02-05T20:27:00.003+08:00

all images except the teeth with braces are all taken from google

The last time I've checked here I only had 15 followers, now I have 18! Wow. What an improvement.

The days has been a bit fast this time. I was sure New Year was just yesterday but apparently we're on a fast pace! Few days from now it's Valentines already. It's cliché to comment how fast the day is. hahaha! Oh well, so this year I have few targets. I love setting goals and achieving them because it makes me feel that I am in control of my life (among other things). So here are my goals this year:

Get myself a brace - ✓ ~ Feb 03, 2012
Read 100 books - ‣
Buy my Panasonic Lumix GF2 (if not GF3) - ❑
Buy Playstation 3 or iTouch 4th Gen white color - ❑
Get a pension/life/insurance plan - ‣

Legend: ✓ - Accomplished ‣ - In Progress ❐ - Pending

There are reasons why I wanted to achieve those. First, is the brace. You see I have gaps on my teeth. It was not really an embarrassing space but I get so conscious of my smile. I wanted to have the gap closed since then but my father thinks that it is unnecessary so he never got me a brace. I never demanded my parents to get my teeth fixed, so I just told myself that I'll be the one getting it.

It was expensive! But after a year of saving, I'm happy that I finally have it. To let you know, I started saving when I got hired last year.

Hurrah for accomplishing that goal.

My second goal, which is to read 100 books was something that I have been trying to accomplish since 2 years ago. I was never successful then because along the way I slacked off. Last year, I was able to read 50 books. I set the challenge late already. If I probably have set the challenge when the year started I would be able to read more than that.

Now that I was able to set the challenge as the year started. I am positive that I will be able to beat the count this time. Currently, I have read 10 books already.

My third goal is to buy a Panasonic GF2 (or 3). I wanted to buy this because I really want to put up an active photoblog. My cellphone might be enough but I couldn't get a decent coloring out of it. The pictures ends up being grainy after applying the effects. In order for me to achieve the effects that I want to apply on my pictures I need to have a high resolution images. So, having this camera would help me build up my photoblog!

My fourth is to buy a Playstation 3. The reason why I wanted to buy it is because of my brother. But I'm a little hesitant now because he has a new toy. On a second thought, if I am not going to buy Playstation 3, I have the option to buy iTouch 4th gen instead. I wanted to buy that one since I already have sold my 1st gen. I may probably buy it on my birthday this March but if not probably on April. I'm not really in hurry in buying it but I'll start saving for it.

Last, is getting a pension/insurace/life plan. I really wanted to purchase this because this is important for my future. I already have a savings for this if in case I have to start already. But then, I am still in progress because I am still searching for the best plan to get. Of course I do not want to buy in impulse without getting all the possible options.

When my sister arrives this last February it is our mission to find the best plan for me and also look for possible investments. It is important to have these streams of income rather than just relying solely in work. I'm not that kind of person who wants to depend so much on my salary alone.

I know some of the list in my goals might appear shallow to someone. But I have read that it is necessary to set goals to ourself even how little it is. Achieving small things can lead to bigger things. It's the practice that will hone me as a better person.

I'm excited for the goals I always set because I realize how capable I am in achieving them. Additionally, there's this pleasure in knowing that I have achieve that all by myself.

So more plan for me this year. :)

128: blank.

2012-01-29T16:45:00.000+08:00

I am incredibly depressed.

so i guess this is going no where.

so i guess this will be nothing but a sad song.

i want to kill myself.

but i'm not going to do it

because tomorrow is going to be another day.

this feeling will pass.

so shall this post.

FIN.

127: Outlander fan made video

2012-01-22T21:45:00.000+08:00

If you are an outlander fan, you will like this video.
It almost hit home.

126: Meet some of my friends :)

2012-01-21T16:45:00.001+08:00

This is my friend Raisa (left) and she's one of my favorite

person in the whole wide world. :P

These are my childhood friends.

125: "... you have me all the time"

2012-01-20T16:39:00.000+08:00

124: Picture: It has to be perfect

2012-01-19T02:33:00.002+08:00

123: Something to think about

2012-01-17T02:04:00.000+08:00

This is very interesting. I found this in the Greatest - Cat Power Youtube video that I took for my entry here. What's interesting here is that there was 170 people who were sharing the same realization. And I'm not exempted to that.

You might wonder what led me to think why I feel like this is not my real life. It's just that I really believe that I am destined/born for greatness. I'm not delusional it's just something that I totally believe in. If I'm not living that life, I'm sure as hell I won't stop until I got there.

122: Movie Review: Sherlock Holmes

2012-01-17T00:25:00.000+08:00

I do not know why I skipped watching this and just decided to watch just now. Much to my regret. I should have watch this along time ago. But it was never too late.

After finally catching serial killer and occult "sorcerer" Lord Blackwood, legendary sleuth Sherlock Holmes and his assistant Dr. Watson can close yet another successful case. But when Blackwood mysteriously returns from the grave and resumes his killing spree, Holmes must take up the hunt once again. Contending with his partner's new fiancée and the dimwitted head of Scotland Yard, the dauntless detective must unravel the clues that will lead him into a twisted web of murder, deceit, and black magic - and the deadly embrace of temptress Irene Adler. - IMDB

Okay, much as I love Robert Downey Jr., this movie never really got my attention. But I thought of giving this a chance.

Then of course I was proven wrong. The movie can now tell me "I told you so" in my face because this movie is just awesome as Robert and Jude law is awesome.

I like the twist and turn of the story. How the scene rewinds and reveals the plot layer by later. It was fun because the story did not go in a straight pace route. It went in a different direction before heading on the same line.

Robert Downey and Jude Law has an incredible chemistry. I like how opposite they are in character, get into each other's throat, but sticks together. Plus, I think Robert and Jude justified their character as Sherlock and John. They have lived the character true to life. Rachel McAdams, on the other hand, was plain. I was not crazy about her as I was crazy about Sherlock and John. But to say, her character Irene (Adler) was not a distraction despite how plain her character is.

If you like mystery, with twist and humor this is a spot on. I am now excited for the part 2 which I will be watching tomorrow.

rating: 5/5

121: Picture: Kate and Rachel

2012-01-16T13:19:00.000+08:00

Kate + Rachel for Eternity

120: Finally, Renner and Weisz!

2012-01-15T23:38:00.006+08:00

not my picture; taken on twitter

Finally! Remember my last post that where in I have said that I was planning to watch the shooting of Bourne Legacy? Finally it happened.

And finally I have seen Rachel Weisz and Jeremy Renner.

No pictures though because the security there was tight as hell. I was able to pull out my cellphone but then again the security there scolded me and told me not to take pictures. So, despite of how much I wanted to take a picture of just either Rachel and Jeremy, I was not able to.

I literally spazzed out when I saw Rachel! She had her back on us but when my friend and I spotted her, we both blurted out "OHMYGAD that's Rachel" and yeah seconds later she turned around, thus confirming our super wild guess. It was so easy to spot Rachel despite the fact that there were too many female foreigners who were also wearing a black tank top as Rachel. But I guess that's what being a fan is, being able to recognize the celebrity even only their back.

To let all of you know *yeah like as if, haha* , she was so!@%^%#*@(*&(*&@@ pretty! I was totally starstruck! I think I just fell in love with her a little more than I should. haha! OMG. I. Am. Still. Spazzing. ♥

Anyhoo, we stayed at the location for 3 hours and you cannot imagine how tough it was to be on the position where we could see the actors/actress and cower every now and then just so the location guards would not shoo us from where we stood. If not for the ukay-ukay store where we stood we won't be able to see them. We kept on pretending like as if we were buying every time a guard would bark for people not to loiter and hang around.

The whole adventure was exhausting but at the end of the day, after seeing Rachel Weisz and Jeremy Renner, after finding difficult spots just to see them, and after standing for three hours we awarded ourselves with Ronald McD's cheeseburger and fries. Thus, all exhaustion was forgotten. The giddy feeling of being a fangirl was satisfied.

119: Blueberry Nights

2012-01-15T02:07:00.004+08:00

Everyone has their fair share of insomnia. I do. Just like now. Honestly, it's tedious to lie on my back and wait for stupor to take over. It's stressful to toss and turn and stare at the ceiling in oblivion ~ hoping for that unconsciousness to come any time soon.

But during these nights, my train of thoughts is an endless flowing river. These are the times that I will have the chance to think about tomorrow, a plan, a dream, basically think about nothingness in general. Staying up late makes me conscious of my existence, just because there was really nothing much to do but to exhaust myself to sleep.

Yes I did think at the moment while I was waiting for sleep to come over. What I thought about is the lesson I have learned. Today, it's poignant that what I have learned in life is how much fear can overpower me from doing something I love; that constant fear of the unknown that hinders me from taking a step.

To say, I know what fear is. I have my fears and it comes in different proportions but this certain fear that I have come into acquaintance for today is something that has the power to chain me from the ground. It was depressing because the realization had struck me too late. It's painful to know that the one's keeping me chained from the ground was myself and I was just too afraid to grab the key that I am wearing around my neck ~ fear for the consequences.

Yes, I berated myself for worrying too much, for being scared thus missing opportunity. But never again. I cannot waste any more chance that's given to me.

Currently listening: Cat Power - The Greatest

Once I wanted to be the greatest
No wind or waterfall could stall me
And then came the rush of the flood
The stars at night turned deep to dust

118: Quote: Fear Can Hold You Back

2012-01-14T20:22:00.001+08:00

Fear can hold you back if you let it win you.

117: Movie Review: Whistleblower (2010)

2012-01-13T20:03:00.003+08:00

Okay, I still have the Weisz-epidemic. I decided to watch as much as I can with some of her movies. This sudden intense fangirling has started since she had come. Can you really blame it? It's rather embarrassing how I totally spaz when she's concerned.

Inspired by true events, Kathy (Rachel Weisz) is an American police officer who takes a job working as a peacekeeper in post-war Bosnia. Her expectations of helping to rebuild a devastated country are dashed when she uncovers a dangerous reality of corruption, cover-up and intrigue amid a world of private contractors and multinational diplomatic double-talk. - IMDB

I really do not know what to expect here, though I know that the movie involves human trafficking. But the revelation in the movie really had surprised me.

So here we have Kathy Bolkovac who's very passionate of her work as a US Policewoman. Then an opportunity to work as a peacekeeper for UN in Bosnia arises. In need of a high paying salary due to circumstances, she had agreed to to take it. What she doesn't know is how much revelation she'll discover between the connection of human sex trafficking and the United Nations.

*spoiler* ~ Basically, some of the UN Peacekeepers are protectors of the bar that is in the business of human trafficking. They abduct the women who are the left alone due to the fact that their families/men have died in the Bosnian war. Then they were sold in the bars to work as prostitutes.

There were few disturbing scenes such as the torture scene. But what I find more disturbing is how these Peacekeepers are really monsters; and how the UN had kept a blind eye and seem to not care that their men are involve in such atrocity.

In regards to the acting, I couldn't admire Rachel Weisz more. She had justified her character here. She was three dimensional and have made Kathy Bolkovac true to life in the screen. As a viewer, I have felt the emotion felt by Kathy. I was sharing the same anger, frustration, and disbelief with the evilness of the people involved.

I am awe that this film was not as embraced as Erin Brockovich. I am surprised that this did not even touch the Academy Award considering how controversial, thought provoking, and flawless the movie is. I cannot help but think if probably there was some sort of sabotage to limit the publicity for this film.

But despite all that I applaud the cast and crew and Kathy Bolkovac for this film.

116: Bummer

2012-01-13T07:53:00.005+08:00

It has been quite a while since the last time I have posted here. But anyways, before I start apologizing for not updating, I'd rather just write on.

I know every Filipino knows about this. If not, I believe that person lives in cave. So last January 8 Rachel Weisz has arrived in our country. She arrived after Jeremy Renner arrived few days ago. First and foremost, it doesn't happen everyday or every year that we'll have a Hollywood movie (as big budget as that) come here to shoot. So yes, everyone went a little too excited.

I wouldn't deny that I am one of those people who was entirely very excited about the thought that Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, and Edward Norton is filming here. To say, I love Jeremy Renner, Rachel Weisz, and Edward Norton. I love Renner and I came to love him when he was such a bad ass in the movie Hurt Locker. In fact, days before his arrival, I was telling my friend how much I love him when we watch his recent movie MI4. Second, Rachel Weisz is one of my girl crushes. I have liked her since her movie the Mummy. I also like Edward Norton because of his Fight Club and the Hulk movie. Having them here in the country was like a dream come true. So basically, I was titillated to know the news.

I have been telling myself that it's a must for me to see them. I have to see them because it might take forever or never again for them to be in our country.

Seriously, I have qualms in going at the shooting site. My worries are of the following:

We might not see Rachel, Jeremy, or Norton thus effort is wasted.
I am not too familiar with the place.

But what weighs so much is my first reason. I was afraid of the disappointment if we failed to see them. But then I scolded myself for being silly. Besides, if I consider my chances of seeing them versus of me just staying at home of course the former has a higher chances. So yeah despite the fear of disappointment, I just told myself to go. At least, I wouldn't wonder what could've happen if I saw them.

So yes, this Saturday we'll be watching the shooting and hopefully we'll be successful and see them. I'm praying that I'll be able to see them.

115: What is life

2012-01-10T04:09:00.000+08:00

I took a break and decided to write while I'm in the mood.

*sigh*, there's something that I have been thinking and though this thought have crossed my mind not once nor twice but rather quite constantly I might as well write it here. Though, I have to warn you that this entry might have have been already written in the past.

You see, I am still nagging myself of how much I let life pass me by. It feels like I am missing what life really is. But on contrary (just to be contrary) what life is all about? Is it by me sitting in this fancy building working during the night and earning a decent salary or is it the kind of life that those people probably in Republic or Opus are doing at the moment? Is life all about mothers singing lullaby to their sons/daughters at night? You know what life really is?

To me, my definition of life is being able to experience things we never have experience. Life is colorful.

Life had been incredibly dull for me for a while. I mean, most (mark the word, MOST) of my free time were spent taking rest and if I'm not taking a rest I spend my time working. I just want to go out of there and see the world. Take a free fall towards the deepest sea. Eat the spiciest curry. Laugh with strangers. Be passionately in love with someone. Be reckless. Be wild. Be life.

Can I just break free from this cocoon and just be me?

114: Picture: Pug sad.

2012-01-03T10:52:00.000+08:00

113: the Bat-Shoes has arrived!

2012-01-03T10:39:00.000+08:00

And I can now be a bat-girl

"I need to have that shoes". Thus, what my head told me when I saw this picture that Bianca Gonzales tweeted. I love nerdy stuffs and Batman so it's not a surprise that this one had grabbed my attention.

This one was bought in HongKong. DC Converse was sold here worth 3000+. Additionally, the shoes was only available for males and kids. But I am glad that they didn't have a size for women or else I would have spent 3000+ to my impulsiveness.

I am happy that I got this for 2,500 and thought how much I have saved. Now, I can play bat-girl at night and do some ninja stuff.

112: Picture: Cate Blanchett

2011-12-31T13:12:00.000+08:00

111: More Frustration.

2011-12-28T17:18:00.000+08:00

I am incredibly frustrated as I write this entry. The thing that frustrate me is how my painting have turned out. I know I don't paint often so having an output that's worth to throw is something I should have expected. Well I have expected it.

But even though I have anticipated how the outcome will be, it still hurts me. Damn, can I just be good on something without having to worry about the outcome? I mean, okay every maestro started having a bad outcome. I remembered that I have read on Outliers that most of the people who are successful have work on their expertise already 10,000 hours ahead of everyone.

Okay, I should remember that; and so I should stop whining and ranting how I suck because I haven't even reach my 100 hours of painting.

I'm sorry I really shouldn't be ranting and whining and being an annoying kid since it's Christmas. But I can't help it.

110: Life: And ... life starts now.

2011-12-26T21:50:00.000+08:00

I have been thinking about this for quite some time. I have this thought of generally making a change. I'm doing this not just because new year is coming. But because I want to become the better person I was yesterday.

I'm 22 and sooner or later I'll be 25 then 30. I'm growing and there's nothing to stop it. I should start living my life now than just by waiting for that 'right time'.

It's that I am going to throw caution out of the window, but actually just do something out my usual sync. Explore, do something new, and etc., It's just that I want to do things that's different.

I know that probably you have bumped into this kind of quote "If you do same things again and again you get exactly the same outcome". So, now that I am conscious of what I have been doing, I want to derail my self from my (usual) trail. Take baby steps. It wouldn't hurt.

I'm lucky to have bumped on this article because it had helped me strengthen my plans. Every day is a new day; every hour, every minute, every second is a chance for us to do new things; to explore new streets, so why not take it now?