Sheila's Blog at Care.com

Wishful Care Instructions When Grandma Babysits

Sheila — Mon, 20 May 2013 09:57:47 -0400

This is a post from another Care.com employee who would like to remain anonymous. Planning an upcoming getaway with her husband, in which her mother-in-law and a babysitter will be caring for the kids, she wrote this satirical post on the care instructions she wished she could leave her MIL.

Dear Mom,

Thank you so much for staying with the kids for the weekend. Yes, they are so much taller (and heavier and faster) than when you saw them last. There have also been some rule changes since you last babysat and I figured I would put them in writing, so you’d have them in one place.

Two-year olds don’t get swaddled. Please don’t try that again (or at least video tape it if you do this time!).
Car seats are still a necessity. No, I’m not being a "Nervous Nellie." It’s the law. Google it.
There’s no spanking. That includes threatening them with a wooden spoon.
Yes, your grand-daughter still uses a Binky to soothe herself. No, I don’t know what she’s soothing. No, I don’t think she’s stressed. No, we don’t fight in front of her. Please don’t try to fix this on your two-day visit.
Mc Donald’s has not gotten any healthier. And just because they have a playground doesn’t mean you have to go there every time you visit. Please avoid, unless you’re willing to stay home when the kids have Croup, Coxsackie… and Diabetes.
Please don’t organize my drawers again. It took me three weeks to find everything last time you visited. And no, it wasn’t helpful.
I booked you a babysitter on Saturday from 10 to 3. Don’t be a martyr and tell her to go home (again!). The kids wake up at 6 and knowing the adventures they will have put you through Friday night, you will need a break Saturday. Just go back to bed.
Please don’t ask the babysitter about her sexual history. It’s none of your business. And it has nothing to do with the fact that she’s amazing with the kids. I don’t know why she’s still single.

On second thought, I’ll probably have the sitter come on Sunday too. Thanks for your help, Mom! Try to take it easy with them. They’re really into a super-hero phase right now. Tip: Don’t offer to become the bad guy or you might not be able to break free from "jail."

Well, you have your cell phone. Just keep it on you and call 911 in any emergency!

Oh, and will you leave me the recipe for your famous lasagna (or just make it and leave it in the fridge!) -- I am drooling just thinking about it.

Tell me, what would be on your list of instructions when your parents or in-laws care for your kids?

How To Connect With Your Daughter

Sheila — Mon, 13 May 2013 10:13:52 -0400

Rich Tobin works in sales for our Workplace Solutions team. He has two daughters who he wanted to connect with more. I love this post because it has a "Lean In" message too – how can we raise confident, female leaders? Rich has some ideas.

My daughter used to be attached at my side. She would sit in my lap, eat from my plate, cuddle with me on the couch. All she wanted to do was spend time with me. Now, at age 9, we had a great relationship but I realized that there was an entire side of her life that I knew very little about. Everyday she went off to school and had a life all her own that I did not get to see. How did she respond to her friends? What was she like on the playground and in class?

She was growing up so fast.

So when the town needed a lacrosse coach for her team, I decided this was my chance. I would coach my daughter and her friends in a game I played 20 years ago. I also saw this as a chance to build her competitive spirit. As someone in business, and a father of two girls, I want to make sure I’m raising strong leaders. Women who won’t back down to a more aggressive classmate, or colleague. Women who will stand up for their ideas and figure out ways to work with teams. I wanted to help build this next generation of working women – one girls’ lax team at a time.

So there they stood. The girls’ third and fourth grade lacrosse team. Some with tags still on their sticks. All looking at me as if I knew what I was doing. My only hope was that my daughter was proud of her new team’s coach.

Now, my background is in sales. I can talk to anyone and genuinely enjoy people. But forget managing teams or dealing with fussy customers -- getting 25, eight and nine year old girls to learn a new sport should be a requirement for every MBA program.

My goal: Get each one to love being part of a team and playing lacrosse. Forget about winning. Work together, but challenge each other. Have no fear of being aggressive. Have no qualms about leading I wanted to find a way each one of these ladies could take charge of a single moment – forget who they are trying to be – and just be. Yes, I wanted to see my daughter shine. But I realized I wanted to see all of these girls take off in some way.

When we started, these 25 girls barely knew how to throw a ball, let alone pick one up with their sticks. Some didn’t look me in the eyes. Some took charge when I wished they wouldn’t. But I had to keep in mind: This wasn’t about a game, it was about them. So two days a week we would spend time at practice together. We ran sprints. We did drills. We talked and shared game plans. Over and over again. Some days they glared at me. But most days they rallied. I loved seeing kids who did not hang out together at school come together on the field. And as the weeks progressed, I saw real skills develop. And I saw the timid became stronger and more confident.

But the biggest changes I could see were with my daughter. On the way home she’d talk about the game. She strategized with me. Discussing her day was no longer pulling teeth. It was fascinating to hear her thoughts. See the team in her eyes. We’d share what the team did right and what needed to be fixed. We discussed line changes and improvements we saw.

I was connecting with my amazing little girl again. And she really understood how much her opinion mattered to me.

In the end, we had some wins and some losses. I’ll never forget the first time our team won a face-off, completed three passes without dropping the ball and scored a goal. That day, I came home thinking I was the world’s best coach. But the truth was, it was never about the games, it was about getting to know my daughter at this new age. Knowing her friends, seeing her interact, learning that her world is way more complex than I knew, watching her fall in love with a sport, and bonding with her on a new level. And I could only hope the parents of the other kids were seeing something new in their daughters' eyes. I hoped they were seeing their daughters take charge of more at home, being more confident in their decisions, opening up to them as a team – and I hoped they were encouraging it.

One coach and one season isn’t going to make a world of difference. But it’s a start. I saw my daughter grow from kid to budding leader, from silliness to decision maker. And for her, I know she sees that I made an effort. An effort to get to know her and to grow closer to her. But it was even more than that. She and I became our own team. And that was the only win I needed.

I’ve already signed up for next year.

Letter To My Mother

Sheila — Mon, 06 May 2013 13:41:57 -0400

In honor of Mother’s Day, I want to show you a beautiful letter a Care.com employee, Gina wrote to her mom. Gina works on our Member Care team and manages our employees (mostly moms) who work from home. As a working mother myself, I hope my children feel the same way as Gina one day!

My Dearest Momma,

One day doesn’t seem like enough. One letter, words on a page, doesn’t seem enough. How can I express the gratitude for a lifetime of nurturing love you have invested -- that has literally made me all that I am today? And all that I want my own child to feel one day as well.

This Mother’s Day, I guess all I can do is try. I can try to illustrate just how meaningful all of your hard work has been. Hard Work. Words I know well. So do you. As I mother now, I only have small glimpses into how challenging your life has been. With five mouths to feed. When being a woman mainly meant being domestic. You were determined to contribute to the household - yet you still managed to give us all so much comfort and attention. How?

Now, as a working mother with 1/5 the workload (my gorgeous little 2 year old girl), I think back to when you first started teaching art classes in our home. Eventually, we had a living room packed with your students two to three nights a week. Women from all over came. My friends’ moms came. And you made them feel like true artists. Then you helped them sell their art and make money for their families – from their budding new talent.

Now, I realize why you did this. Now, I see the timing of your art shows lined up perfectly with wanting to buy us back to school clothes and supplies – and wanting to put Christmas presents under our tree.

There may have been times when I wondered why you worked so hard. Why you had to take a call or meet with a student. Why you had to work late. But I get it now.

When I struggle with my own journey as a working mother today, I think back on what you showed me. You knew that you were a fantastic mom and an excellent entrepreneur. You wanted to share your passion for art, and you inspired so many other women around you. You supported our family. And in the end, you showed your children what it means to be a strong, successful working mom.

I hope I can show my daughter the same thing. I work because I love it. I’ve found something that challenges me, fulfills me, and that I know I’m good at. I love that I help to support my family. And this is on top of the love I feel being a Mom. Yes, it’s tough. I miss my amazing, ever-changing sweet girl each and every day. I hate walking out that door. But I love walking into my role here. I love the person I am at home – and at my job. I only hope I can be the role model to my baby that you were to me.

I hope that she feels like she always comes first in my life. I hope she grows up knowing that she can ask for my help with anything. No, I might not have the time to make lunches, go sledding, attend parent-teacher meetings, and help solve homework problems. But I’ll make the time. (How did you do that Mom?) I hope she’ll always feel safe knowing that nothing will come between us, even if I have to travel for work or take a trip to visit girlfriends who live far away. I hope she grows up proud of her Momma for trying to juggle it all, for being a good friend, a hard-working employee, and the best boo-boo kisser on the planet.

But I hope she sees my flaws too. Mom, I know you aren’t perfect. But that was your charm. You worked at being better, and that was perfect to me.

I hope my daughter never accuses me of loving my job more than her. But if she does, I will have to say: Baby, you are my world the way I was my Momma’s world. But you were given a gift, the way I was given a gift. And that gift is your drive to succeed, your compassion for people, your leadership skills. I’ve seen this from the time you were a year old. I work because I love it, but Sweet Girl, there is a difference between the love I have for my projects and the love I have for you. The love I have for work is in my brain and in my paycheck. But the love I have for you is felt deep down in my core. It is who I am – who I became the moment you entered my world. I will always define myself as your Momma first and an employee second. We are connected at the core. And one day, I know you will feel this too.

Happy Mother’s Day, Momma. Thank you for giving me the gifts of being passionate for my work and my family. Thank you for being the role model I needed when I was young – and helping me blaze a trail for what I know my daughter can become. Thank you.

Tell me, what do you appreciate your Mom for this Mother’s Day? What do you hope you pass down to your children one day?

P.S. Here's a fun Mother's Day video for your amusement!

Summer Nanny Taxes: 2 Truths And A Lie

Sheila — Mon, 29 Apr 2013 10:21:39 -0400

Stephanie Breedlove and her husband are the founders of Care.com HomePay Solutions and I can tell you -- I have never met a more engaging tax professional! Here, she describes a way you can solve your summertime childcare dilemma and save money at the same time (in a fun game-style).

The anxiety first hits around late-April: School is coming to an end! How ironic that summer vacation actually makes life more hectic until you get everything straightened out. My kids are grown now but I remember the panic: School was going to let out, my husband and I were working, and we needed someone to care for the kids, even if it meant shuffling and chauffeuring them from camp to playdate. What put me at peace was the realization that teachers had new summer schedules too, college students were on break, and teen sitters were out there looking for jobs. That’s still true today. As you put your summer care plan in place – and exhale – play a quick game I like to call "Two Truths and a Lie: The Tax Edition."

Who said taxes aren't fun?!

1. My summer nanny is not an independent contractor.

Truth!

Many families think a temporary or part-time nanny is an independent contractor, but the truth is that you’re her employer.

So even if he or she only works for you during the summer, the nanny is your employee in the eyes of the IRS and is covered by special protections such as minimum wage and overtime.

2. I can pay a summer sitter cash because she’s temporary.

False!

You aren’t supposed to pay any nanny or sitter earning more than $1,800 a calendar year under the table!

3. You Can Get Tax Credit for Hiring a Summer Nanny

Truth!

Say you hire a nanny to take care of your kids for the 13 weeks of summer – and you pay her $500 per week, for a total of $6,500 over the summer. The employer taxes on this wage amount will be about $600 (or a total of $7,100).

That’s the cost side. Now for the good news: tax breaks.

If you have a Dependent Care Flexible Spending Account (FSA) through your employer, you can set aside $5,000 for childcare expenses using your pre-tax dollars. An FSA can save you as much as $2,300 per year, depending on your marginal tax rate. That savings will bring your total cost down to about $4,800.

By putting her on the books, you’ve saved roughly $1,700!

If you don’t have access to an FSA (or missed the enrollment period for this tax year), that’s okay. You can still use the Tax Credit for Child or Dependent Care (a.k.a. the "Childcare Tax Credit"). It will save you up to $600 if you have 1 child or $1,200 if you have 2 or more children, bringing your total cost down to either $5,900 (save $600) or $6,500 (break even).

Remember, these tax savings are only available if you pay your summer nanny on the books and fulfill your "nanny tax" obligations. If you’re not up for the paperwork, let Care.com HomePay by Breedlove handle it all for you.

I hope you find a great caregiver and have a wonderful summer. Along the way, if you have any household employment questions, just let us know. We’re here to help (888-273-3356).

Do You Share Bad News With Your Kids?

Sheila — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 15:08:09 -0400

Last week, the panic around Boston was felt on a local, national and international level. And as parents of young children, we are faced with an important decision: Do we tell our innocent, happy children this tragic news? Chris Duchesne, our VP of Workplace Solutions discusses the choice he made – and why this was so hard on a personal level.

My kids are lucky. They don’t really know about ‘bad’ things yet. They don’t know that bad things happen on bright, beautiful days. They happen unexpectedly on downright nice days – to nice people. September 11, 2001 was sunny and clear – by all accounts a gorgeous day. April 15, 2013, the day of the Boston Marathon was much the same. It was a great day for a run.

As events of last week’s bombing unfolded I was faced with the same choice as so many other parents – do I tell the kids? Do I let them watch the news with me? Listen to the radio? Would I share with them the sickening feeling the bombings had created in me when I heard about them? Could I explain that scary things happen while still making them feel safe? Why would the 3-year-old need to know about it? Would the 5-year-old even understand, and did she need to? What was the benefit in that? How many people and places was the 7-year-old going to hear about it from and did I need to preempt them?

It was school vacation week and my 7-year-old was supposed to spend the last half of the week with his grandparents in Boston. They had plans to go to the circus, the park, breakfast with Papa. How could I explain to him that he wasn’t going to be able to go to the circus because they hadn’t caught the bombers and I didn’t want to take a chance that the arena would be their next target? He worries. A lot. How could I tell him that and feel like he wouldn’t worry about it for weeks, and each time we go into Boston?

I like to run. My wife and I often run races together, and we always have someone bring the kids to watch us. When there’s a race in town and we’re not running, we all sit on the sidelines and cheer the runners on. The kids love to give everyone high-fives as they run by. I’ve long been hoping that the kids will like to run too – that it will be something we can do together. So I was excited when my 7-year-old recently announced that he was going to run a 5K and that he wanted to start training. The day before the marathon, we took him to the track to run a mile. How was I going to explain to him the next day that someone killed people at a race? That terrible people had targeted innocent people at a running event.

So I didn’t tell him. I didn’t want to take the chance that he would turn away from running. That he’d be fearful and worry at each road race. I didn’t want to ruin it for him.

But I am torn. While I don’t want them to know about the terrible and scary things that bad people can do. I do want them to recognize that what matters, what’s most important, is how we, Americans, react. We’re people of action. We help those in need. We refuse to let bad people scare us. In fact, bad people make us angry. We have no tolerance for people that hurt others. We don’t stand for them. We pursue them relentlessly, wherever they are and we bring them to justice. And we don’t let them change what we do. We announce the next day that we will run again next year, in bigger numbers, with even more purpose, louder, prouder. I want them to know that setbacks happen. That we – Americans – push on and push through .

As a parent, we’re constantly faced with decisions, and it’s sometimes hard to know whether you’re getting it right. Maybe it’s because I want to keep my house a "safe-zone" of sadness, panic and worry. Maybe I want to preserve Boston as a safe family destination. Maybe I’m protecting my kids – and myself. But in the end, I chose not to tell my kids. There will be other opportunities, another time. For now, I will take pride in our response to the bombings and help my son train for his first 5K. I have visions that someday he’ll run the Boston Marathon and I’ll be there, proud and unafraid, to meet him at the finish line.

But if one of them hears from a friend – and I realize that I do need to tell them -- I will bring it on their level. I will explain that there were two bad men who hurt people at the Boston Marathon. And they were caught. But that our job is to not let bad people stop us from living our lives – and from doing what we love, which is running. And then I will use the London Marathon as an example of a runner’s unbeaten spirit.

Tell me, did you tell your kids about the Boston Marathon? If so, what did you say? How did they react? Or, are you like me and hoping to keep them innocent and worry-free for as long as possible?

And if you need help talking to your kids about the events, here is an article from Care.com on talking to kids about violent acts.

The Marathon Hits Home

Sheila — Wed, 17 Apr 2013 12:00:27 -0400

Our company, Care.com is based in Waltham, MA, 11 miles outside of Boston. And while this day was not a holiday for our internationally-based group, many of our employees took the day off to celebrate – and cheer for our two employees, Jill and Morgan who were running their first marathon. (Sadly and scarily, a few of our "Care.com family" found themselves near the blasts at the finish line, but fortunately, they are safe and unharmed.)

Now, the whole idea of "celebrating a marathon" is a unique idea to many who live outside of marathon routes. But it is one that Bostonians grow up with. It is a state holiday, Patriots Day, when we commemorate the American Revolution. And with the weather getting warmer and pulling us out of a tough New England winter, this is a day of celebration and rejoice.

And then there are the runners. Boston is one of the toughest courses to qualify for, so many of the runners race as part of a charity. They are there supporting a cause, running because they raised thousands of dollars. Hoping this money will save more people. Sweating, aching, and pounding the 26.2 miles of pavement for people who are truly suffering.

So it makes sense that on a state-wide holiday when the weather starts to get warmer, and you are excited to celebrate spring, people along the multi-town course go out and cheer. Runners often wear their names – or the names of people who they are running for – on their shirts. And together with your kids, you can cheer for total strangers to achieve something they set their heart, mind and body to.

So when I say there are no words, it is more that I, like most of you, am tongue-tied. I am overcome with sadness for the families affected, the ones who are suffering from loss and pain. The ones who will never be the same after what they saw, felt and experienced. And I find it very tragic that the people responsible would want to cause harm to innocent people.

I am left thoughtful and in prayer for those who have suffered and lost love ones. But we also need to find a way to help our great city of Boston. We will get our marathon spirit back. We will continue to cherish our neighbors. We will rally and cheer in the face of terror.

We need to be there for our loved ones and our community.

Please, feel free to share your stories and your notes below.

Love,
Sheila

P.S. This is a good piece about talking to kids about violence.

Would You Hire A Teen Babysitter?

Sheila — Mon, 08 Apr 2013 11:17:45 -0400

Valerie is the Director of Service Delivery here at Care.com. She is working on our new senior care product, HomeBase Senior Solutions, in which we try to help seniors age in their homes safely. But she is also a mom of three and the oldest boy just started babysitting-which led to this interesting blog…

My 16-year old son couldn’t clean his room if his life depended on it. He can raid a refrigerator in a blink of an eye. And don’t even get me started on his sweaty, smelly basketball clothes and sneakers.

So I was a little surprised when a close friend recently asked if he could babysit for her 7-year-old son, Matthew.

"Really?" I asked her, almost laughing. "Better have your pantry stocked!" I wanted to add – but held back.

But then in a flash, I saw my son, Justis the way my friend saw him. He’s fun and playful. He’s CPR certified and choke-saver trained. And most importantly, he cares for his 12-year old sister who has special needs and frequent medical challenges that take a toll on all of us. He is patient with her, attentive, loving and capable of crises. He also cares and plays with his 5-year old autistic brother, often creating forts out of living room furniture, or teaching him basketball skills while he practices.

Right, I guess my 16 year old "little boy" (who is also 6’4’’ I should add), is quite responsible and could actually be a really good babysitter. It suddenly made sense – he’d not on ly be a great playmate, but a wonderful mentor and role model.

So I asked him – and he was really interested. He thought it would be "cool" and "fun." Getting paid was an afterthought.

I have to admit that I was nervous on his first night there. I had to prep him: "Clean up after yourself," I prodded. "Make sure you put him to bed on time and don’t just watch TV!" He looked at me like I was crazy. "Mom, do you think I’m not going to take this seriously?!"

I also prepped my friend: "Tell him what you want him to do. Be exact. And write it down," I advised. I wanted her to feel comfortable giving him her own training. That’s what he was there to do: learn.

So on the Saturday night, he went over to their house and my friend showed him where everything was, went through Matthew’s bedtime routine, and reviewed the list of emergency phone numbers. I, of course kept my cell phone next to me the entire time! (And I promised myself I would only text him once later in the evening to check in.)

They played with Army men. Then Justis fed Matthew dinner, got him ready for bed, read stories, and tucked him in. At one point, Matthew tried negotiating that didn’t need to brush his teeth before bed. But Justis told him it wasn’t optional and that he would thank him in the future!

So, it was a success. Justis even did his homework until the parents came home. Amazing! And now he wants to try more babysitting jobs. We just launched Teen Care on Care.com where parents can monitor which jobs their teen applies to -- and I might just let him do it!

If only he would start cleaning his room.

Tell me, would you hire a teen to babysit your child? Would you let your teenager babysit?

Confessions Of A Serial Liar

Sheila — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 11:40:27 -0400

This is a very funny tongue-in-cheek blog from a lovely friend and co-worker of mine who is being hilariously harsh on herself. Not that any of us need tips lying to our kids… but it’s a great read none the less!

Motherhood has made a liar out of me.

I remember the days when I couldn’t even tell a fib – but now, they just flow trippingly off my tongue.

It starts harmlessly enough: I said "I’ll think about it" when I had no intention of giving it one more thought. I said "You’ll ruin your dinner," to a (probably) harmless snack.

Then it became tricks to get better behavior like "Santa’s watching" and "Better clean up your toys or they’re going in the trash!"

I knew it was bad when I once described the Easter Bunny in elaborate detail to my son, right down to his little vest, glasses and pocket watch.

Don’t judge me, but with three kids I’ve kind of become a lying pro. I’m not proud of this "skill" but what helps me sleep at night is that they are (almost) always for their own good (or mine). So in case your little ones are seeing through your fibs lately, here’s my tip sheet on how to lie your way to the teenage years (when they start seeing right through you!):

Step 1: Be casual, but specific. Lying is almost a job requirement at the grocery store. With junk food all around you, you’ll have to be inventive and quick on your feet. Those fun-looking cookies? They’re made out of Brussels sprouts. Read the ingredient list to make this seem more realistic. The ice cream truck jingle? That means he’s out of ice cream. Kids are smart, so put on a performance worthy of Anne Hathaway.

Step 2: Don’t be afraid to embellish. Somewhere around the time my son turned 5, broccoli stalks became tiny fairy trees that became magical when eaten. I also had a crazy irrational fear of him opening the car door on the highway (I suppose I hadn’t heard of the Child Safety feature!). I’m not proud of this one but I told him that pushing random buttons in the car could eject him straight out through the sunroof. That worked until one day he asked me, why would they put a button like that on the car? And I couldn’t answer. My son also grew up believing that appliances and machines were fickle and unpredictable and that we should all just learn to accept it. The TV only worked on the PBS station. The car only worked when everyone had their seatbelt on. And batteries for noisy toys were impossibly hard to find.

Step 3: Use your power for good. My son went through a phase where he was afraid of the doctor. So I told him one day that the office needed our help to make a list of what not to do when the doctor came in. He started with the simple things, which I diligently wrote down: Don’t cry when you see the doctor; don’t hide when he comes in. And then we got silly: Don’t jump up and down like a monkey; don’t yank on his stethoscope… By the time the doctor came in we were both laughing and we dropped off the list at the front desk together when we left.

Now that my oldest son is entering his teen years, I am conversely meticulously honest with him. After years of lying, I give it to him straight: The tough news, the hard choices, even the sometimes harsh news about what’s happening in the world. Lying was a way of protecting him from what I thought could harm him.

What worked at five, sadly doesn’t work at twelve. But that’s ok. He’d just see through me anyway.

But I have two 2-year old twins who still believe every word I say!

Tell me: What is the craziest/funniest white lie you’ve ever told your kids? Have you ever been caught? Or, are you completely honest with your toddlers – and how do you do it??

After having this openly honest conversation with my co-workers here, we created this hilarious video, "How to Lie like a Mother." I hope you will watch and share with all your friends!

Everything You Need To Know About Nanny Tax Breaks

Sheila — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 12:59:22 -0400

Stephanie Breedlove and her husband founded household employment payroll & tax company, Breedlove & Associates out of a personal need – they wanted to pay nanny taxes. Now part of the Care.com family, I can tell you I have never met a more engaging tax professional! Here, she wants to make sure you get the money back you deserve!

I love baseball. I had two boys, so maybe being a sports-mom was inevitable. Or maybe it’s in my Texas-blood. But I love going to the Texas Longhorns baseball games with my (now) college-aged "boys" and cheer for our home team.

The season just started here in Austin. So we were at a game recently when I overheard people sitting behind me talking about not getting a tax refund this year. They were surprised they actually owed about $2,000 to the government!

Now, ‘tis the season for tax talk. And call me a nerd, but this is the type of chatter that perks my ears up and gets my adrenaline pumping. Why? Well, I also happened to notice that this couple also had two young kids and looked like they had just come from work – I would have put money on the fact that they weren’t getting all the childcare tax breaks they deserved.

Often these tax breaks can take the sting out of paying nanny taxes in the first place. But because my sons begged me to keep my mouth shut, I didn’t tell this sweet couple the following ways I’m sure they could have saved some money.. but I’ll tell you:

1. Learn How You Qualify

As long as you and your spouse meet the "work-related" test (both of you must be employed or a full-time student) and employ someone to provide care for at least one child under the age of 13, you qualify for one of the tax breaks below. Please note there are no income restrictions on these tax breaks – and you can capitalize on them even if you are subject to the Alternative Minimum Tax.

2. Take Advantage of Flex Spending

Many companies offer Dependent Care Flexible Spending Accounts (also called "Flexible Spending Account" or "FSA") as an employee benefit. It allows you to set aside up to $5,000 of your pre-tax earnings to pay for childcare expenses (which includes nanny wages and nanny taxes). This means there is no federal or state income tax, Social Security tax or Medicare tax on $5,000 of your income. Depending on your state and your marginal tax rate, this can save you up to $2,300 per year.

Note: Most companies have a specific enrollment period to set up an FSA, but there are mid-year exceptions for "life changing events," such as having a child. See your HR department for enrollment details.

3. Use the Child Care Tax Credit

If you don’t have access to an FSA, you can claim the Tax Credit for Child or Dependent Care (IRS Form 2441) on your federal income tax return at year-end. If you have one child, you can save up to $600 per year (20% on up to $3,000 in childcare expenses). If you have two or more children, your savings will be up to $1,200 per year (20% on up to $6,000 in childcare expenses).

If you want to know more about these tax credits, call our Nanny Tax Experts at 888-273-3356 and let us answer any of your questions. (We’re all tax nerds – so we love this stuff!) You can also talk to your personal income tax professional, but make sure he or she has expertise in household employer accounting (Test their qualifications with these 5 questions). This Nanny Tax Calculator is also a fun place to see what you would pay your nanny on a weekly or annual basis, and how tax credits will help.

How Tax Breaks Can Take the Sting Out of "Nanny Taxes"

Sheila — Mon, 25 Mar 2013 10:40:11 -0400

We realize that the term "nanny taxes" strikes fear in many people. It sounds time-consuming and expensive. I hear that all the time! But I want to make sure you know about the tax breaks you can receive when paying a nanny "on the books." Often these can offset the employer taxes.

(I like to think of the tax breaks as a reward for those who follow the law and do the right thing for their caregiver). Here’s what you need to know:

1. Know If You Qualify

2. Take Advantage of Flex Spending

Note: Most companies have a specific enrollment period to set up an FSA, but there are mid-year exceptions for “life changing events,” such as having a child. See your HR department for enrollment details.

3. Use the Child Care Tax Credit

Note: For Families with two or more children under the age of 13, if you have access to an FSA, you can also use a portion of the Child Care Tax Credit and achieve combined tax savings of up to $2,500 per year.

For most families, these savings will defray most of the nanny tax costs. For an estimate of how much your family can save from tax breaks, use our free Nanny Tax Calculator and you can always learn more from our Care.com Payroll Solutions Team at Breedlove or calling us at 888-273-3356. You’ll be surprised at how affordable it is to do the right thing!