I’d love to hear some comments. Even if they’re awful, cause I’d hate to get too far into this and find out no one likes it

And so it begins—-

Blackness gripped me, I could hear the waves, feel the salt spray on my face. Looking out, into nothing but inky darkness. One hand out in front of me, the other hand gripping the hand rail, tightly, afraid, I inched my way along the slippery, pitching deck. Several minutes passed. I still can’t see anything, its as if I’ve stepped off into the abyss. Finally I feel the hatch levers. Flipping the last dog open, I pull the hatch toward me, and stepping over the knee knocker, I see the dim red glow. Safe at last! Now just 2 levels up and I’m at my destination, the outgoing Mail Box, where I can mail the 100 news letters I’m mailing to my Any Servicemember pen pals. The helicopter will be taking the mail out at first light, a few hours from now. But I’ll be asleep in a few minutes. And this time I’ll be taking a slightly easier route, and not take my chances on the weather deck!

—

Cold, Shivering, Alone. I’m at high altitude in Colorado, in the back of my van, sleeping bag pulled tight around me, an old hair dryer blasting away at the icy fingers of the night, until finally the battery runs down, and with a last BEEP, I’m left with silence, cold, and darkness. Alone. Still, I’m happy to have what I have. I put the spare tire on a few hours ago, happy in the fact I have a spare tire, and a van to put it on. I’ve seen a lot in the last few weeks, and even looking at my self now, after almost 40 days on the road and xx states, I feel like a king. I chose this road, and no matter what happens, I know how lucky I am. I have experiences, resources, and friends. I am truly wealthy.

—

Traffic… Stupid red lights… car feels heavy, it should, its loaded to the roof. Where is all this stuff going to go anyway… Oh good, light is green, hit the gas… sputter, BANG, clunk, grind to a stop. no… no… NOOOOO. start, please start. HONK. Sigh. Light is red now. Great! Look over, wow, a parking spot, just right there. Open the door, put car in neutral, and lean into it, good its rolling. Push a bit more and I’m in the spot. Wow, lucky break! And I’m only a few blocks from home. Think, brain think. I might still have time. One last look at the car. Oh well, it lasted a year longer than I expected. Grabbing my keys and wallet, I start quickly walking home to pull together my new plan, a slight detour toward being homeless in Seattle.

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To me, the difference between Resilience and Tenacity, because before I started writing this, I would have probably used these interchangably!

Resilience is a flexability, like a palm tree in a hurricane. Bend, bend, bend until you touch the ground, but when the storm passes, you just pop right back up again!

Tenacity is the roots of the palm tree, the anchor that keeps you from blowing away in the storm. Its digging your toe nails in so you can stand your ground.

Tenacity is “Rocky” when he looks at “Appollo” and says “I’m not going down again”, after Appollo had already knocked him down several times. ”

(something that just flowed just now, while I was writing for an unnamed, up coming book. You’ll have to just stand there and wait for the rest of it!

Thought you’d like it… Carlin)

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Lately, in the last few years actually, I’ve been moving around more than normal. Ok, I think Gypsies would think I’m a drifter. Anyway, I’ve not had much for roots lately. Then with the secret missions, I’m really getting bounced around.

For example, I was in 2 different hotels over a 3 month stretch. I thought that was inconvienient. Then the next mission, I found myself in my 4th room, in a total of 3 hotels in the last 5 weeks! And they were in different neighborhoods!

Anyway, since I didn’t have a car, I did a lot of walking. Which is good, I like walking, really I do. Except when it comes to getting groceries, in the rain. That’s not so good. Been doing that a few times lately!

One good thing I do realize, is you get a way better appreciation for a neighborhood as you walk through it. You see all the little shops, for example. I now know where to do laundry in 3 or 4 different places, in a few time zones! That’s valuable intelligence! I know which fast food places to avoid. I know where to find a washroom.

Or for example a couple weeks ago, I was walking… probably on the way from the hotel to the nearest hamburger place, and I see this cool gray car. Think it might have been a Porsche. Cool, mental note. Keep walking. On the way back, yup, its a 928, sweet! Ok keep walking.

From My 928

Next day, its kind parked facing out, you know, how cars get parked when someone is trying to sell them right? So I walk over a bit closer, think hey it looks kind of… hmm something not quite right, but it was getting dark, so I didn’t think much of it. Next day… how many cheese burgers is that now anyway? Finally decide to walk over and really look at it. Better light today, hey, it looks actually pretty good. Some parts missing, trim, wipers, etc.

Then I see the price. Oh, hmmm about 1/10th of what the car was when it was new. Interesting. But I live in a hotel, so not like I can really be fixing up a car, in the parking lot, right? So I walk around it again, go for a hamburger

A few days later, I say screw it, go back, look at it again, write down the price and the guys phone number. Wait a few more days, now its almost payday. I’ll actually have enough to buy the car, which is dangerous right? No more excuses! So I call the guy. No answer. I almost throw up. Next day, call the guy, leave a message. 3 Days before payday, he calls me back, we set up a time to view the car. I walk there, its about a 45 minute walk. See, it had been just down the block when I first saw it, but we moved to a new hotel, of course!

I get there, another guy is looking at the car. Oh oh, trouble. But I had a secret plan. I’d stopped by the ATM and got cash, just in case, you know, I liked the car

Other guy gives me the stink eye, gets in his minivan, and leaves. Not sure if I had more street cred, walking, or him in the soccer van

So, Finally I get my chance, the guy gives me the tour, and its funny, he’s showing me all the bad stuff. All I wanted to know know was did it run. So finally, he puts in the key, VROOOM. It fires right up, and ohhhh it was pretty… Like a thousand angels having orgasms maybe. I might not even edit that out! He said he’d not really topped off the fluids and they hadn’t really checked out the mechanicals, he was just the body shop guy, but he did put the car in gear and it moved, no weird noises, he blips the throttle… more orgasms… I walk around it a few more times, just trying not to drool mostly, and finally we get quiet, look at each other, and I handed him $500 in twenties, straight from the ATM. “I’ll see you on Friday”. That would be Friday the 13th, a pretty lucky day I’d have to say!

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So, on with the show!

Fox – This is Socks, the Fox. Socks hangs out with us sometimes. Socks is way too tame. But being very photogenic is always a good thing right?

Bears – We saw these two, assumed to be a Mother bear and her cub. I didn’t bother to walk out there and actually confirm that, but they acted like a mother bear and her cub!

Urban Assault Vehicle – And finally, here is my motorhome that I just bought. Well, a week or so ago now, but I’ve been busy lately, so am just now getting the pictures posted! I’m sure I’ll post more about this in the future, seeing as I’m most likely going to be living in it

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“I just wanted to get the day over with and go down to Smokey’s. Sneaking a look at my watch, I saw the time, 1655. Five minutes to go before the cemetery gates are closed for the day. Full dress was hot in the August sun. Oklahoma summertime was as bad as ever–the heat and humidity at the same level–both too high.

I saw the car pull into the drive, ‘69 or ‘70 model Cadillac Deville, looked factory-new. It pulled into the parking lot at a snail’s pace.. An old woman got out so slow I thought she was paralyzed; she had a cane and a sheaf of flowers–about four or five bunches as best I could tell.

I couldn’t help myself. The thought came unwanted, and left a slightly bitter taste: ‘She’s going to spend an hour, and for this old soldier, my hip hurts like crazy and I’m ready to get out of here right now!’ But for this day, my duty was to assist anyone coming in.

Kevin would lock the ‘In’ gate and if I could hurry the old biddy along, we might make it to Smokey’s in time.

I broke post attention. My hip made gritty noises when I took the first step and the pain went up a notch. I must have made a real military sight: middle-aged man with a small pot gut and half a limp, in marine full-dress uniform, which had lost its razor crease about thirty minutes after I began the watch at the cemetery.

I stopped in front of her, halfway up the walk. She looked up at me with an old woman’s squint.

‘Ma’am, may I assist you in any way?’

She took long enough to answer.

‘Yes, son. Can you carry these flowers? I seem to be moving a tad slow these days.’

‘My pleasure, ma’am.’ Well, it wasn’t too much of a lie.

She looked again. ‘Marine, where were you stationed?’

‘ Vietnam , ma’am.. Ground-pounder. ‘69 to ‘71.’

She looked at me closer. ‘Wounded in action, I see. Well done, Marine. I’ll be as quick as I can.’

I lied a little bigger: ‘No hurry, ma’am.’

She smiled and winked at me. ‘Son, I’m 85-years-old and I can tell a lie from a long way off.. Let’s get this done. Might be the last time I can do this. My name’s Joanne Wieserman, and I’ve a few Marines I’d like to see one more time.’

‘Yes, ma ‘am. At your service.’

She headed for the World War I section, stopping at a stone. She picked one of the flowers out of my arm and laid it on top of the stone. She murmured something I couldn’t quite make out.. The name on the marble was Donald S. Davidson, USMC: France 1918.

She turned away and made a straight line for the World War II section, stopping at one stone. I saw a tear slowly tracking its way down her cheek. She put a bunch on a stone; the name was Stephen X. Davidson, USMC,
1943.

She went up the row a ways and laid another bunch on a stone, Stanley J. Wieserman, USMC, 1944..

She paused for a second. ‘Two more, son, and we’ll be done’

I almost didn’t say anything, but, ‘Yes, ma’am. Take your time.’

She looked confused.. ‘Where’s the Vietnam section, son? I seem to have lost my way.’

I pointed with my chin. ‘That way, ma’am.’

‘Oh!’ she chuckled quietly. ‘Son, me and old age ain’t too friendly.’

She headed down the walk I’d pointed at. She stopped at a couple of stones before she found the ones she wanted. She placed a bunch on Larry Wieserman, USMC, 1968, and the last on Darrel Wieserman, USMC, 1970. She stood there and murmured a few words I still couldn’t make out.

‘OK, son, I’m finished. Get me back to my car and you can go home.’

Yes, ma’am. If I may ask, were those your kinfolk?’

She paused. ‘Yes, Donald Davidson was my father, Stephen was my uncle, Stanley was my husband, Larry and Darrel were our sons. All killed in action, all Marines.’

She stopped. Whether she had finished, or couldn’t finish, I don’t know. She made her way to her car, slowly and painfully. I waited for a polite distance to come between us and then double-timed it over to Kevin, waiting by the car. ‘Get to the ‘Out’ gate quick.. I have something I’ve got to do.’

Kevin started to say something, but saw the look I gave him. He broke the rules to get us there down the service road. We beat her. She hadn’t made it around the rotunda yet.

‘Kevin, stand at attention next to the gatepost. Follow my lead.’ I humped it across the drive to the other post.

When the Cadillac came puttering around from the hedges and began the short straight traverse to the gate, I called in my best gunny’s voice: ‘TehenHut! Present Haaaarms!’

I have to hand it to Kevin; he never blinked an eye–full dress attention and a salute that would make his DI proud. She drove through that gate with two old worn-out soldiers giving her a send-off she deserved, for service rendered to her country, and for knowing duty, honor and sacrifice.

I am not sure, but I think I saw a salute returned from that Cadillac.

Instead of ‘The End,’ just think of ‘Taps.’

As a final thought on my part, let me share a favorite prayer: ‘Lord, keep our servicemen and women safe, whether they serve at home or overseas. Hold them in your loving hands and protect them as they protect us.’

Let’s all keep those currently serving and those who have gone before in our thoughts. They are the reason for the many freedoms we enjoy.

‘In God We Trust.’ Sorry about your monitor; it made mine blurry too!

“If we ever forget that we’re one nation under GOD, then we will be a nation gone under.” -Ronald Reagan

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If that makes no sense…. my phone uses Android, an operating system by Google. Wordpress is the ap that this blog runs on.

And yes, I am sitting at a park, typing this blog post on my phone. Holy crap, this is pretty cool! “This changes everything!”

Hmmm since this is turning into a real post.. things to look for in the rest of 2010… the Mars book will be published before end of this year. Yeah, only a year late. Deal with it

Also very likely going to relaunch the video business, only this time its going to be run a lot smarter. ?

Stay tuned!

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I’m now well into my 6th week of my Secret Mission, you know, that thing I’m doing in a place I can’t tell you about. I suppose you could guess, since I did mention it raining, but that would be a long shot. All the normal rumors run rampant. It could end this week, it could last another year. What ever, right?

My good friend, Tina McAllister, or @TinaMc, for those of you who Tweet, recently posted on her blog, something about “catching up” after somehow forgetting to post on one’s blog, and after I laughed at her in the comments for being such a slacker, I thought I better see how long its been since I posted something.

Of course, being on a Secret Mission, of course, I’ve had very little that I could blog about, since the mentioning of such mission or its details or locations or other peeps involved could be bad. So I’ll just talk about the interesting things, like the before mentioned pop tart, which is now gone. It was good right? mmm smashed up goey crumby goodness…

Or I could talk about my new fear of xxxx no, sorry, can’t talk about that. Darn, what else is there.

I would like to give a quick shout out to all my Peeps over on Facebook , thanks for all the love there, its nice to be remembered. Now that I have carpel tunnel and have to go ice my hands, after responding to all the kind words and comments… hehe , no really, thanks

Well, guess I’ll head over to Perkins and enjoy some tasty French Toast… mmmm good stuff!

Stay Tuned!
Carlin
PS this post will possibly self destruct in 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1…. bonk!

or maybe not?

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Well, lets see. I could tell you all how busy I’ve been. But I’m really not that good of a fiction writer, yet!

So I’ll just do my best to catch you up on things.

You may have noticed I gave up on selling stuff. If you didn’t notice, I used to try to sell stuff. Not that much of it sold So mostly now my blogs are just random meanderings of what I’m not doing or what ever. If you get tired of that, feel free to go buy stuff. A book is always good! There’s a link somewhere.

Quick recap then.

November 2009 I moved from California to Alberta, Canada. That after a very brief stint of being a pool boy. Nice pool, it was!

So then, here I am in Canada. Note to readers out there, moving to Alberta, from pretty much anywhere, in November is not recommended. But it did get me here ahead of the snow and the REALLY COLD weather.

December… it was REALLY COLD, water froze up, nothing much happened. It was dark a lot.

January 2010. My mom left the farm for a while, she went on a cruise in the Caribean. Saw that canal thing, learned about bananas and coffee. My brother had a birthday. We ate food. Still pretty dark outside. And cold. I interviewed for some jobs, started having fancy dreams about actually having money, not a lot of money, but money. It could happen!

February 2010. Did some training for a job. Its one of those “on call” situations. I waited for the call. So far no call. Its still dark, and cold. Watched the Olympics on TV. Go Canada! Canadians look good wearing Gold. We all sang, and smiled a lot. Its good to sing when its still dark and cold outside.

March 2010. Having been inspired after watching the Olympics on TV, and singing in the dark in the cold, I decided to get off the couch. I started going for walks. We are surrounded by snow drifts, barb wire fences, horse pastures, and hay fields. So I decided to go for a walk one day. The snow was deep. Over my boots. Over my knees, not quite to my waist. I had bought some “gaitors” at a second hand store a while ago, thought I should try them out. Gaitors are a fabric, in this case nylon, that attach over your boots, and then wrap around your leg. They go up higher, hopefully higher than the snow goes. If it works, there is no snow in your boots when you get back from your walk in the field through the snow drifts. So far so good! So I’ve been walking. It hasn’t snowed yet since I started, so if Google should ever fly over the farm and take a picture of the field, you’d see lots of tracks in the field. I doubt they will, but if they did, you’d see them! I did take some video, but its mostly just panting and weezing, so I doubt I’ll post it. Walking through deep snow is hard work. But it is getting warmer, so the snow isn’t as deep. So that just means I have to go farther to feel like I’m getting anywhere. I almost miss the deep snow.

I am planning to get some cross country skis. I felt that is the one area that Canada really didn’t do so well, so I’ll do my part. If nothing else, I’ll shame someone else into going faster next time But seriously, its a big field, I should be able to make some good tracks out there. Of course, by the time I get that call, and get the big fat paychecks, and buy the skis, the sun will shine, and the snow will melt.

It could happen.

Oh yeah, I’ve been writing a lot lately, the Mars book is coming along nicely. Maybe I’ll tell you about it sometime. Funny how that works. This was supposed to be a short book, kind of a prequel to the big Mars book that I would write later. Well, crap. This one is big, and I’m not even sure I’ve gotten a good start on it yet. Might have to edit it later!

But then I had an idea, since a picture is worth a thousand words, maybe I’ll just turn it into a graphic novel instead. Fun right?

It could happen, too!

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