Life According to Carmen

My last Blog

2010-12-26T14:11:00.000-08:00

I want to wish every one of you from my home to your home, from my soul to your soul, a warm and wonderful new year. One filled with positive and enriching opportunities available to us and taken by us.

This is my last blog. I write this with a peaceful heart.
I feel I have said all I have wanted to share for the past 2 years.
I want to thank all of my loyal readers, particularity, Robert in Sacramento, Linda in the Tehachapi Mountains and of course Ms Berlin.…Heyyyy.

The following was posted in my July 11, 2010 blog.
It pretty much sums up all I stand for and pray for you and for me:

Peace, Love and Healing

Peace – Peace for all that is restless and uneasy inside of us,
Peace for all the people and situations we encounter throughout our day,
Peace for all living creatures, our world, our universe and our destiny.

Love - Love for self, for life, for the unexpected,
Love to everyone we encounter throghout our days, for someone may be at a serious cross road and needs someone to show them kindness.
Love, deep within our souls and in our minds.

Healing – Healing for any sadness, illness, doubt we may have inside ourselves,
Healing for any situation or encounter we are having difficulty with,
Healing for our body, mind and spirit,
Healing for our present, past and future.

May we all be blessed by being able to live our most authentic life, what ever that may be for you and for me at this moment and time in our lives:

Being authentic means “living” your truths as a day-to-day practice… personal truths that are lived not just believed. That is why we are here in a body in time and space. This is what life is truly about. We each have an opportunity to practice what we believe. To act out our deepest visions. To have a life that is deep and rich and filled with meaning and purpose. (John Kehoe)

You, my readers will be forever in my heart.
Thank you for your loyalty.
Thank you for allowing me to share what I have learned and some personal thoughts with you.

Remember to be FABBBBulous, don’t take yourself too serious and smile from your heart.

With love, compassion and respect… one last time,
Carmen

Dogs and people – learning from each other

2010-12-19T18:37:00.001-08:00

Recently I received one of those chain e-mails with the automated slide pictures of dogs, each with a saying while beautiful music played in the background. ooooohhhh

There were many quotes that I felt were rather noteworthy…yes, noteworthy.
So much so, that I wanted to share them with you.
After you read each one, just take a second and give it a thought:

One reason a dog can be such a comfort when you are feeling blue is that he doesn’t try to find out why. Hummmmmmmmm

The average dog is nicer than the average person. (Andy Rooney)

Everything I need to know I learned from my dog:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride. (Not in a stolen vehicle)
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

If you pick up a starving dog and make them prosperous, he will never bite you.
That is the principal difference between a dog and a man. (Mark Twain)

Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.
(Ann Landers) OK, this one made me laugh out loud.

If your dog is fat, you aren’t getting enough exercise. (My dog is not fat, she is muscular, or is it thick?)

Unconditional love “heals.” It’s best to keep both person and dog on the receiving end.

My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am!

That was fun.
Have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

Words that motivate us into action

2010-12-12T12:00:00.000-08:00

We humans are funny sort of creatures. One would think that logic would be our motivator to make the changes needed in our lives to live our most authentic life, but nope, logic is not the motivator.
Fear is. Not just fear but vanity fear works best.

Example. I bring my lunch to work every day in one of those plastic storage containers.
I being an educated nurse and teacher have known for years that the research shows a higher incident of cancerous problems when reheated repeatedly in the microwave. But noooo, I continue to repeat this act until my containers are not worth keeping after repeated cleansing in the dishwasher. Yes, I know there are sooo many health practices that are wrong with this issue on my part. Hummm.

Anyway, it took a clip on TV from the Dr Oz show to make me consider changing.
Yep, there he was saying that during my lunch ritual I personally was creating obesogens by my reheating my lunch is plastic containers and then voluntarily placing them into my body.
WHAT? Obesogens..like making my body keep fat cells. Yikes, that was exactly it. OMG. Now why it was the word carcinogens did not even make me change my lunch ritual? Hummm?

For men you have to hit them just as hard. Many, many men who have uncontrolled diabetes and/or uncontrolled hypertension are at a high risk for a heart attack or stroke. Somehow this does not seem to motivate a large percentage of them.
Now let them know they will be impotent if already not so and all of a sudden many will start to listen and start to make healthier choices to lower their blood pressure and blood sugars...
Really? Not the kids, not their wife or significant other?

So if you are one of those like myself and I’m pretty sure millions of others who need a fearful, vain buzz word to make us listen early on, please make those changes.

If you have a health care need and the correct motivating word has not been found to get you moving yet…for g-d sakes, save yourself complications for I am pretty darn sure that cellulite, impotency, or something just as vain will be lurking to get us besides all those really bad health issues we keep ignoring.

Lets just do it because we are worthy of our own attention and healthy changes.
Let’s just do it because our bodies are where our souls live and we need to provide our soul a safe and loving place to live.
Think about it, are you unknowingly a slum lord to your soul?

There is a brand new year coming around the corner, if your health change can safely wait until then, then ok. But if your health is at risk right now, then now is the time to take a look at ourselves and make the change.

Have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

12 Days of Christmas – According to Carmen - pass it on

2010-12-05T18:51:00.001-08:00

Christmas for me has never been a “happy time” and yet I seem to end up with partners who reeaalllyyyy like to decorate and celebrate. Go figure.

But over the years I have celebrated in my own way.
Nearly every Christmas my daughters and I would celebrate by giving back to those who needed a helping hand during the holidays.

For years we worked at the soup kitchens, I would serve food or wash dishes and the girls would clean tables and speak with those souls looking for a kind, non judgmental smile.

When the girls became older and had lives of their own we began making survival packets and bringing them to the shelters. Kmart was our main shopping place at that time. We would purchase the strongest freezer storage bags we could purchase, hopefully with a zip lock top. In it we would place Chap Stick, a box of cough drops, tissues, one size fits all gloves, warm sock and candy canes.

Then just before delivering them we would bless them that those receiving this small gift would feel the kindness and love they were made with.

When the girls were grown and moved away, for years I began purchasing hundreds of angel coins and gave them to the homeless with a dollar bill. The back of the coin would say, “Guardian Angels protect us all.”

So this Christmas, even thought it is a rather frugal one for many of us, there is one thing we can all afford… Kindness.

So here we go- The 12 days of Christmas According to Carmen.

Day 1 - This day I’m going to encourage you to smile like crazy. Yep all day, smile at everyone you meet until you feel like your face is going to freeze that way.

Day 2 - Go out of your way to donate a couple of dollars to a Salvation Army bell ringer. If you can’t find a Salvation Army bell ringer then McDonalds is collecting for their Ronald McDonald house, or anything along these lines.

Day 3 - Purchase one bag or warm socks. For each pair of socks in the bag wrap a couple of dollars around the socks and next time you see a homeless person give them this gift of warmth and say to them “Your Life Matters.”

Day 4 - This day do at least 12 minutes of exercise. Yes, all of you.

Day 5 – Today call a friend you have not spoken with in a long time and LISTEN to them.

Day 6 - This day tell a person important to you what you appreciate the most about them.

Day 7 - Sit down and write down 3 good qualities you have then appreciate those qualities about yourself all day long.

Day 8 – Do a random act of kindness.

Day 9 - This day listen to holiday music and sing at least one song out loud.

Day 10 - Today, spend at least 5 minutes in silence and gratitude for the all good things in our lives, no matter how small they may seem.

Day 11 – Today, light a candle and sincerely say: “May we all be blessed with kindness in our lives and peace in our hearts and mind.”

Day 12 - Walk or drive around your town and enjoy all the holiday decorations in your area. While doing so, remember that the true meaning of Christmas is hope, the miracle of life and kindness.

May we all be blessed.

Have a great week.
With love, compassion, respect and yes, kindness,
Carmen

Chanukah 2010 According to Carmen

2010-11-28T09:26:00.000-08:00

On Wednesday December 1, 2010 at sundown, Jews around the world will be celebrating Chanukah, the festival of lights which began approximately 2,300 years ago.

This is celebrated as a holiday of miracles where a small amount of oil lasted and provided the Ner Tamid or Eternal light 8 days of sacred light, for you see, the Eternal light, once lit should never go out.
An eternal light, hangs over the Holy Ark in every synagogue. This ark houses the Five Books of Moses which represent Jewish law. Moses instructed the Jews to create a lamp that burns continually near the ark as a symbol of God's eternal presence.

Now Chanukah is said to mean re-dedication, so this is where Chanukah, according to Carmen comes in.

I like the thought that once an eternal light is lit, it is never to be extinguished for you see, I feel we are all eternal lights…YEP.

So how can we keep our internal, Eternal light burning brightly? Re-dedication.
This Chanukah, after sundown each evening, light a tea candle in a safe place. Now look at the glow of the candle burning, and be open to the idea that a light as beautiful burns within you, within me.

Day 1 at sundown - Allow yourself to be open to the thought of miracles past and future.

Day 2 - Create a sacred space where you can be peaceful for a few minutes during these 8 days and perhaps afterwards as well.

Day 3 - Allow yourself to be open to the greatness that lives in all of us. Yes, you.

Day 4 – If you are having difficulty accepting that you are a wonderful gift to our world, then ask for Divine intervention that for at least these 8 days you allow yourself to be open to the light in your soul and its positive meaning in the in the scope of life.
If you already are open to this, then just enjoy.

Day 5- Be open to have your prayers answered remembering that what we pray for may not always be what is best for us. I encourage you to think about a hearts desire. Carefully word it and then give it to the Compassionate Universe to hear, to fine tune and hopefully to show you the way…but remember, it works best if we are open to receiving goodness and joy in our lives.

Day 6- This is where we learn to have faith. Although faith can be an action word, it frequently requires us to be still in our hearts and minds even for a few minutes a day. For this is when the Divine speaks with us. We must allow to receive guidance, to “hear” in the stillness of our minds and hearts.

Day 7- This is our day to be open to healing thought for our lives. Sometimes we do not know what parts of us need healing. Perhaps we need healing on every possible level.
This day our mantra will be: Peace, Love and Healing… all day long in our minds and in our hearts. Thinks these words, speak these words, heck write them down.

Day 8- Be open to the possibility of miracles in our lives. There are miracles that occur every single day. Look for them, be present in all your actions for that is when we notice miracles the most…for you see, being open to the endless miracle of us, helps us to re-dedicate ourselves daily and keep our Eternal light burning.

Have a wonderful week.
With love, compassion, respect and yes, miracles of “Light.”
Carmen ( Jewish year is 5771)

A Thanksgiving message that can have meaning around the world

2010-11-21T16:42:00.000-08:00

According to wikipedia.org, “Thanksgiving was a holiday to express thankfulness, gratitude, and appreciation to God, family and friends for which all have been blessed of material possessions and relationships.”

For years many of us have taken for granted the many blessing great and small that we have in our lives, frequently wanting more, never really feeling satisfied or grateful.

Since Mother Nature has rocked our world and the global economy has equalized many of us, narrowing the gap between the haves and have nots…we are one by one learning gratitude. However, for many of us it has become a deep, sincere almost cellular level feeling of thankfulness for all we have left, no matter how small.

For many of us who have lost loved ones or have supported others who are mourning a deep loss, every tiny victory, every tiny movement forward is a tribute towards our survival and thus we have once again are becoming thanks giving.
So today, I want to proclaim my deep and humble gratitude for having a loving family, for not loosing my home even though I came very, very close.. giving gratitude for my health that I am an active participant, for finally after a year of being unemployed and fighting for survival I am finally in a secured job, I am grateful for health care coverage but most of all, I am deeply grateful to be alive.

May this Thursday November 25, 2010 be a day that each and every one of us takes time to reflect on the good in our lives, the people we love and those who love us back and be deeply and sincerely grateful. Gratitude is a state of Grace, allow yourself to experience this Grace.

Have a great week.
With love, compassion, respect and yes, thanks giving,
Carmen

Advancing the Soul to the next level - Carmen style

2010-11-14T15:50:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time since I have had a “day off” or taken a vacation, however, I frequently take my mind on a journey.
Hang on to your seats because you are about to go deep inside my mind, travel with my soul and ponder the wonderful twist and turns of this thing we call life.

Now in order to follow my thoughts you first have to be open to the possibility that there could be such a thing as re-incarnation.

Re-incarnation I feel is like traveling up and down the spectrum of the soul, for instance, when we are born, is it a factor taken into consideration as to how we have treated our loved ones and pets?

I mean, were we abusive people who had to come back to experience abuse and neglect or were we neglectful people who had to return to experience unconditional love and to learn what it feels like?

This thought process does not excuse on any level neglect, abuse, intimidation by any one to any other life form…Perhaps if we just learned respect for all life forms, respect for a life of kindness and compassion… respect for the things in life that brings out the best in others..Perhaps our species would then be catapulted into an age of enlightenment …..

During this human experience I have found that those with the deepest sense of empathy are frequently those whose souls have experienced negative events in our lives. We then make a conscious decision to help assist others or perhaps even better, work to guide others with a goal to prevent them from this suffering. For you see, I have learned to believe that suffering does not advance the soul but kindness and compassion does.

I frequently feel a deep sadness when I see or hear of a child, or any animal is suffering on any level, so I have learned to make the conscious decision to love on my family, close friends and of course my pets deeply and sincerely.

What if this has a bonus of advancing my soul to the next level?

Sometimes I can actually feel someone else’s pain, some one else’s joy…
My thought is that I have lived many lives and that finally, finally I am getting it. Living a compassionate life, living a joyful, respectful life and providing these same emotions to all life around me…that this “growth” in my behavior and actions may be the unknown ticket of advancing our souls to the next level…perhaps it’s just that simple?

It’s just a thought.
Have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

Free Your Mind And The Rest Will Follow

2010-11-07T11:30:00.000-08:00

“If the heavens were to open and a host of Angels descended, they could not have produced such an effect on my soul as Mary Anne descending the chapel staircase for our wedding,” David Perkins Dairy August, 1908

Fear, fear, fear and not a rational mind is what drives the movement against same sex marriage. OMG, that’s right, my God too for I am speaking to you softly from my heart.

Have you heard the expression “on the down low?” Well, what that means is that there are married men and some women who are living “heterosexual married family lives” to be socially accepted because of their careers but have a gay sexual under cover life.
Yep, that is correct.

Mostly men who are afraid of loosing their place in financial society, some I am pretty sure are ministers as well, are screaming the loudest it’s “unnatural” deviant, against God” yet all the while they are living a double life.

You know who suffers from this?
The unsuspecting spouses that cannot figure out why their husbands are not attracted to them. These spouses think that they are less than attractive, less than desirable, not good enough….is that preserving the family, marriage?

Funny thing is the argument of the “Preserve the Family” is destroying souls.
Think about this, how many marriages are shams and fronts for “affairs.”
How many spouses develop vague illnesses because they suspect, and stuff this “knowing” deep inside their souls and hearts?

If that is not bad enough, anytime anyone has an affair gay or heterosexual the chances for STDs is opened and as time goes on doubled and on and on.

There are also many, many people like myself who knew somewhere deep in our hearts that we are different, yet married a socially accepted person of the opposite sex just to divorce and re-marry. Infidelity was not an issue here but a somewhat distant marriage was …..what about these souls, our children, these families?

When a child sees a dysfunctional relationship as their norm, they too will perpetuate a loveless, distant, dysfunctional relationship and may not know why.
Is this what we want?

People who control others by placing fear in our hearts and minds are doing just that, controlling us…you have to stop and think about what their ulterior motive is? Are they hiding something from us? Who are they really trying to protect?

When you have nothing to hide then you do not have to use fear to control others!!!!

To preserve the family we must have trust and honesty in order to have love, compassion and respect in the marriage.
To preserve the family, no one should be made to feel less than...
To preserve the family, there must be a family.

So next time you hear someone speak foolishly about preventing same sex marriage to preserve the family, think about what I just shared with you and make your own informed decision. That is all I ask from you.

Free your mind, and the rest… will… follow!
Have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

HOPE Carmen style

2010-10-31T18:56:00.000-07:00

“Hope is a rare gift that, if we are lucky, comes to us with the power to heal our lives.
I’ve come to know that the deepest sense of hope often springs from the hardest lessons in life. It is in the darkest skies that the stars are best seen – perhaps it is divine irony that within the darkest moments we are capable of revealing the greatest light, demonstrating what is best with humanity.” Author Paul Evans

So I wanted to see how the dictionary defines hope?
To cherish with desire with an expectation of obtainment.
The feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best.
To cherish a desire for good or of something welcomed with expectations of obtaining it or a belief that it is obtainable.

My personal belief is that hope without action is less attainable than HOPE with action.

2 personal examples:
* I hope to win millions of dollars from the lotto soon.
So, my actions are, I occasionally purchase a ticket, see myself happily winning in my mind but I continue working and trying to save until the happy day arrives…soon…really soon….no really… 

* My life and health were once in a negative place. I hoped for a happier, healthier life.
So I had to cut loose the negative people in my life and learned how to take better care of myself- physically, mentally, spiritually… then I had to put what I learned into action.
Not easy but in order to have real hope we need to be part of the hope process.

Hope without action can occur but the chances, I feel, are lessened and the time, I feel, much longer than needs to be.

So the above quote in Life According to Carmen would most likely go like this:

Hope is a gift that can come to us with the power to heal our lives.
I’ve come to know that the deepest sense of hope often springs from the hardest lessons in life. It is in the darkest skies that the stars are best seen – perhaps it is divine irony that within the darkest moments we are capable of revealing the greatest light, demonstrating what is best with humanity………..Only if we open our minds and hearts and allow it to be so. For without our permission, changes for the better and HOPE can not enter and help us move forward to a better place…perhaps even a magical place. (Adapted by Carmen)

Have a great week.
With love, compassion, respect and don’t forget hope,
Carmen

How we vote and who we want to represent us will affect our overall wellness

2010-10-24T13:25:00.000-07:00

I am neither a Republican nor a Democrat. I am registered non partisan.
Why, Because for most of my 40+ years voting I have made the conscious decision to vote for the best person for the job, not for a political party.

So this year is no different. How do I choose the candidates I vote for?
Well, I do not watch negative ads.
I read the papers, watch a variety of news stations then I read the voting pamphlet and who is behind the candidates and the measures.
However, I do something in addition to all that, I look at the way these individuals treat those around them.

For instance Meg Whitman. The incident with her house keeper in my mind could have been handled in various ways. One, the way it was or a more compassionate and productive way.

If a person who has worked for my family for 9 years came to me and said, I want to become a US citizen to stay in this country, I would guide them to learn all the privileges and responsibilities that come with becoming a citizen.
Each one, reach out and teach one, not throw them under the bus for what ever reason.

October 19, 2010
http://prop8trialtracker.com/2010/10/19
By HRC
The Courage Campaign and HRC released a new ad today asking Californians to call senate candidate Carly Fiorina and demand she reject the extremism of NOM (so called National Organization for Marriage) – one of her campaign’s biggest financial backers. The ad – running in the LA Times,
Sacramento Bee and San Francisco Chronicle – features disturbing clips of NOM supporters from rallies, in which they can be seen and heard calling for the murder of gays and lesbians.

So yes, I look at the measures and political issues, but I also look at how they live their lives. Are they responsible human beings? Who do they associate with? What drives their decision making?

These are the factors that I feel will ultimately affect how a politician makes their voting decisions that will impact my life and wellbeing.

Have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

“You have the right to be yourself - don’t give up”

2010-10-17T18:48:00.000-07:00

This phrase is inscribed on a circle piece of jewelry that should be also inscribed in all of our hearts and minds.

The artist that created this piece of hope and inspiration is a woman with an aware heart. She and her partner are donating $ 5.00 out of every $20.00 to the Trevor Project.

The Trevor Project is determined to end suicide among LGBTQ youth by providing life-saving and life-affirming resources including our nationwide, 24/7 crisis intervention lifeline, digital community and advocacy/educational programs that create a safe, supportive and positive environment for everyone.

http://www.thetrevorproject.org/about-trevor/organization

Lifeline: 1-866-488-7386 OR 1-866-4-U-Trevor

If you agree that all of us, gay or straight, young or old, shy or outgoing have the right to be ourselves, then please do what you can to support this message and let this thought travel our world.

We as a global community need to take a stand that whether some it like or not, we are all created equal.

You may appear different than me, I may be on a different path than you…but you are my brothers and sisters. We are all a light, a sorrow, a joy and a tomorrow to be reckoned with.

We must all become aware. We must all learn to honor our “brighter” selves.
Only then can we honor our brothers and sisters that who be different that us, only then can we honor all life.

Suicide is the mind and heart’s way of saying, I feel like I have ran out of options…
I need this pain to stop…Once I am gone they will miss me, they will love me…My life will then matter…..

How do I know this? I just do……..

Stand up to suicide, stand up to bullying, stand up, stand up, STAND UP!
When we all stand up one by one and form a global wall of compassion, a global wall of understanding, then those who are uninformed and still practice prejudice from fear, will hopefully then begin to see that there is another way, that of compassion.

Compassion and respect do not mean we are weak. Quite the contrary, only someone who feels strong in themselves, in their beliefs has the strength to be kind, to be respectful, to be helpful and protective.

Stand up, be that voice of compassion, stand up be that voice of concern.
Wellness on any level is contagious. Compassion and respect have a direct line to wellness. Be an instrument of wellness & compassion…be an instrument of HOPE.

Have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

www.jewelrybynorth.com

“Peace Begins with A Smile”

2010-10-11T07:25:00.000-07:00

About 10 years ago I lived in Northern India for several months.
This had been a dream of mine for over 25 years but as life would have it I had not been able to fulfill that dream until then.

Funny thing is, had I lived in India and worked at the Mother Teresa compound for the Dying and Destitute when I was younger, the experience would not have been as profound. I had to make peace with myself in order to stick it out and learn the answer I had been searching for.
I worked with The Sisters of Charity in the city of old Delhi and cared for and learned from the souls that had been labeled as “untouchables” and those who were recovering from tuberculosis.

It was shortly after Mother Teresa had died, so I never had the opportunity to meet her.
Once I earned the trust of Mother Superior, the nuns would share their stories of Mother Teresa’s work and personality during our morning tea.

When I arrived I was looking for God, but found out that God lives in us all…..always.
We are all his children and if we allow the internal light of our Spirit to shine, we can light our world, our universe brightly. Yes, we really can.

There is a small book titled, Mother Teresa, In My Own Words 1910-1997, by Liguori Press that has many profound quotes of Mother Teresa’s. She was a woman of action!
This is stuff we can all do.

For this blog I am going to share the ones I feel can be practiced across the board no matter what our spiritual, religious or political views may be-

Here are some of her thoughts : Enjoy !

* Peace and war begin at the home. If we truly want peace in the world, let us begin by loving one another in our own families. If we want to spread joy, we need for every family to have joy.

* I have the feeling that we are in such a hurry that we do not even have time to look at one another and smile.

* We should not live in the clouds, on a superficial level. To better understand those we live with, it is imperative that we understand ourselves first.

* If there were more love, more unity, more peace and more happiness within the family, there wouldn’t be so many alcoholics and drug addicts.

* I prefer to make a mistake because I am too kind than perform miracles without any kindness.

* All sicknesses have cures. The only one that cannot be cured is the sickness of feeling unloved.

* In the developed countries there is poverty of intimacy, a poverty of spirit, of loneliness, and poverty of lack of love. There is no greater sickness in the world today than that one.

* I will never understand all the good that a simple smile can accomplish.

Have a great week and don’t forget to smile!
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

In Honor of Souls

2010-10-03T18:58:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to all the gay teens that have sadly taken their lives and to their loved ones left behind. May everyone’s soul find peace.

All my life I felt different, never really fitting in…anywhere.
I could never really put my finger on it, but I knew there was a secret….shhh, can’t even think about it.

Life was hard and I was raised to always do what was expected of me and so I buried this secret deep inside my mind, deep inside my soul, deep inside my life….shhh.

The teen years came and after never fitting in, I tried so hard to be invisible…..shhh…. but they would find me…. shhh…..

Children learn to be cruel, teens can be crueler and adults have been practicing their cruelty to where it can be easy for them to be cruel …..shhh.

I married 2 wonderful men and divorced 2 wonderful men…..shhh

Life was hard, my soul was dark, my heart once was made of ice……hush.

God wanted to save me from my own personal judgment and from the judgment of those who have no right to judge anyone, for that is not our purpose in life…..shhh.

2 daughters were given to me so I could learn to love and accept them, so I had to learn to accept me…I was raised to always do the right thing….shhh.

My soul was in turmoil but with time and my active participation I became a healthier person… but that knowing inside my soul was screaming to be recognized….I wanted the pain of my life to stop…please……shhh

My children graduated from high school and my inner soul knew I could no longer deny my reality so events occurred, and I had to claim myself…hush….no, no, no more shhh.

I am a gay woman with a soul who has learned to love herself, who has learned that her life is integral to our destiny because of who I am.

I am a gay woman with a kind soul who lives in a straight world….or is it?.......

You, you precious child, gay or straight, Your Life is Precious and You Matter!

If you are a gay, bisexual, transgender or are not sure and you are struggling, PLEASE call a gay suicide hot line. Speak with some one who understands and will not judge you.

Your life is important to us all, your soul is precious.
I care what happens to you!

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Suicide – Suicide.org
http://www.suicide.org/gay-and-lesbian-suicide.html

1-800-SUICIDE
(1-800-784-2433)
or
1-800-273-TALK
(1-800-273-8255)

With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

10 Laws of life - worthwhile reading

2010-09-26T19:52:00.000-07:00

I used to watch Dr Phil, and then he started to get on my nerves.
I felt like he was taking himself too seriously and was employing his entire family.
I would wonder what is he really like at home. Is he that annoying there as well or he is he just a really great guy? After all, his wife looks pretty secure and he does have nice sons who do interesting things such as marrying a Playboy model, or becoming a musician.
Then I realized he too has to deal with outcomes we did not see coming and that made him more human right away. His sons are allowed to be who they are, not who he is. Awesome.

Anyway, Dr Phil McGraw has an interesting book called Life Methods by Hyperion Books of NY, published in 1999 that I have not read…..however, Debi came home with a 1 page flier listing his Ten Laws of Life and then of course I researched the heck out of it.

Dr Phil used to repeat these life strategies on his show so you may already have heard them, but when we see the written word for our minds to soak up on a deeper level, they take on new meaning.
Pretty interesting stuff and I feel pretty right on.
Here are his pretty darn good strategies for taking control and being successful with your life.

Life law # 1 You either get it or you don’t.
Strategy: Become one of those who gets it. :)

Life law # 2 You create your own experience.
Strategy: Acknowledge and accept accountability in your life.

Life law # 3 People do what works.
Strategy: Identify the payoffs that drive your behavior and that of others.

Life law # 4 You cannot change what you do not acknowledge.
Strategy: Get real with yourself about your life and every body in it.

Life law # 5 Life rewards action.
Strategy: Make careful decisions and then pull the trigger.
OK, all those who own a gun, put it down..I am pretty sure he was speaking figuratively.

Life law # 6 There is no reality, only perception --- Hello, welcome to my world.
Strategy: Identify the filters through which you view the world.

Life law # 7 Life is managed, not cured --- makes it do-able
Strategy: Learn to take charge of your life.

Life law # 8 We teach people how to treat us.
Strategy: Own, rather than complain about, how people treat you.

Life law # 9 There is power in forgiveness.
Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you.
I would add and see how they are affecting others.

Life law # 10 You have to name it before you can claim it.
Strategy: Get clear about what u want and then take your turn.

From what I learned there are get to know yourself assignments to complete. They are designed to help us identify if our lives are in a healthy place. If not, then how to begin to make the changes needed.

From those who have done the work, a small inexpensive notebook or binder is recommended for your getting to know your life assignments that will document our challenges and help us create our own individual life map for success.
You will also need to refer back to them at a letter time.

Many say it is work but it is also very effective and so worth the time and self honesty.
Sounds worth exploring.

Have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

The Maloofs, Larry King and Me

2010-09-19T18:37:00.000-07:00

Last night after a wonderful day I sat down to watch a little mindless TV so I channel surfed and landed on CNN's Larry King. This evening he had the Maloof grown children. There were 5 in total, four brothers and one sister all at least 30 years old.

They spoke about the many successful businesses they currently have like the very trendy Palms Hotel and the Playboy Club both in Las Vegas; the Sacramento Kings and a more current Skate Boarding competition they are taking around the country that is catching on like wild fire.

For me it was fascinating because after almost every sentence, they would praise their mother, Colleen Maloof for their success. This intrigued me.
So I listened attentively and then looked them up on line.
This is what I learned: Colleen Maloof never played favorites, she never focused on their screw ups just on what they were doing well, no matter what.

When something needed to be changed in the way each child did things she would never use shame nor embarrass them. She would speak with each child separately and ask them how they felt things were going. If they said well, she would leave it alone but end their conversation with if you ever want to run something by me, just let me know.

They learned to trust she would never belittle them, never let them fall, just guide them back to being the best person they could be, not who she wanted them to be. Each very successful Maloof child attributes their numerous successes in their mother not equating failure with fear or shame. Failure was just an opportunity to re-evaluate and make the changes needed. Always compassionate, never condescending nor rude to their children no mater what. WOW. You go Colleen.

I think this woman has the key ingredient to support those we love to a more successful them whether it be our children, partners or even co-workers.

A lot of good food for thought.
Have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

Pay it forward – A Tribute to Victor Hugo Perez Zavala on his 25th Birthday

2010-09-14T10:13:00.000-07:00

On the cusp of a new day, Victor Perez was shot and killed in Sacramento California.
It was the time between Saturday night and Sunday morning that he transitioned to what ever next level our spirits rise to. Victor was a few days shy of his 25th birthday. Today is his birthday.

To who ever randomly shot him – should they never catch you, turn your life around and pay it forward. Putting you away for life will not bring back that wonderful young man you killed. Putting you away in a prison will not take away the pain from his loved ones hearts. You too are some ones child. Your family weeps for you as well.

Turn your life around and fill Victor’s shoes. Turn your life around and fulfill your destiny. It is said in the metaphysical world that if we die 2 weeks before our birthday, then we had pre determined the day of our returning home to God. Perhaps Victor could see you getting lost and gave up his life so you could have yours.

Turn your life around. Victor’s life was about reaching out to those lost youths who need someone to reach out to them. I am sure in spite of you taking his life, his hand is reaching out to you…please reach out and take his hand. Allow his kind and gentle soul to pull you out of your sadness and guide you to a better place, a better life, one that has meaning and work towards a better tomorrow for you, for all of us.
Forgive yourself, for I’m sure Victor has forgiven you but do not forget for then his life would have been in vain.

To all whose hearts who are aching and sad:

A Hopi Prayer
Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there,
I do not sleep;
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on the snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle rain.
When you waken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave.
I am not there.
I did not die.
For everything beautiful that you see
will bring a memory of me.

My deepest condolences to all involved!
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

Can’t we all just along?

2010-09-12T19:07:00.000-07:00

You cannot turn the news on without hearing about our fears of the Muslim community.
The craziness of the “minister" that wanted to burn the Quran.
Sure, teach hatred and fear to your church practitioners.

Then there is the Ground Zero Muslim Community Center debate that everyone is weighing in on.

Fear is a terrible thing, it makes rational people do evil acts.
We must get our fear in check.

As far as any Religious or Spiritual leader who teaches hatred or mistrust for any other faith – run as far away from them as you can. How can you minister the word of God and teach hatred and/or fear ?

And as far as the Muslin Community Center, no one but those that were directly affected by 911 should have any type of opinion. Everyone else, stay out of it.

Tolerence is a good beginning; it opens the door to understanding, then the door to peace.

In my family we have Jews, a variety of Christian denominations, Buddhist and yes Muslims. Heck we even have one that does not believe in God at all and I love him dearly.

I have concerns that the Muslim communities that practice peace and respect will become the new Japanese Community of WWII and that the fear and hysteria that created Interment Camps will rise again. It must be prevented.

Am I cautious about any radicals- hell yeah.
Anyone who joins any form of destructive radical group is someone who is screaming, you will listen to me now !
How about if we just take time to listen to those around us in a respectful and educated way and see if we can reduce the number of our youths who are taken under the wings of gangs, Christian radicals, Muslin radicals or any other group that can brainwash our loved ones.

Fear and hatred never produces a positive outcome- open respectful dialogue does.

Get to know those individuals whose lives are different than yours and let’s learn from each other. I do not want to just live in a tolerent world, I want to live in a respectful and compassionate world. How about you?

Have a great week,
With love, respect and compassion,
Carmen.

U have something to offer, so please read this - the sequel

2010-09-05T20:38:00.000-07:00

One of my most frequently read blogs is the one from May 24, 2009.
Funny thing is that blog is a little political and a little dry. So I have asked myself then why?

Well duh, the title: “You have something to offer so please read this.”
This just re-affirmed in my mind that most of us, if not all of us at some level want to make the world a better place.
We want to know that there is something special about us. That our lives matter.

I mean what would be the point of being here?
This may sound easy but it is hard to process.

Many of us were told while growing up we would not amount to anything, perhaps that we were stupid, lazy, and useless, on and on.
After a while, a child’s soul remembers this but our conscious mind might forget and so we become the reality someone else has set for us.

Many may go a lifetime without realizing we are all given a talent, an ability that has meaning in the scope of things. Others grow up to be selfish and egotistical people of power.

Those that were not verbally putdown perhaps were emotionally or physically put down.
You can be physically or emotionally abusive and still take your child to expansive schools, many after school activities, vacations and so on. The message is still the same. You do not matter.

No one there for you. Same message, you are not worth my time.

Holy crow, no wonder we have so many people hungering to know their self worth.
What makes us special? What makes our lives matter?

In Life According to Carmen, the fact that you breathe makes your life matter.
Now it is up to us, to you to realize that perhaps through many circumstances out of your control a message of low self worth was given to you.

Believe me, very few people do that on purpose. Many parents, grandparents, extended family and friends treat others with low value because deep down they need to put someone down for them to feel better about themselves.

Hello…that screams low self worth to me…how about you. See?

So I do not know if the precious gift you were born with has developed or still needs to be developed but listen to me…… You have something special about you that makes our world a better place!

It may be as simple as a kind and compassionate heart to being an extremely talented person in the arts, in sports, in cooking, in Government, to doing your job well and with pride, to having a sincere smile to being a good listener to being aware of the needs of others and guiding them to succeed, to being a rocket sciencetist or a safe bus driver who treats people with respect and so forth.

Now those of you in places of power over others such a politicians, CEOs, law enforcement, bosses, educational or any other position of power, if you are misusing your place of power, your special abilities for self gain and if you are making yourself more important by trampling over others, your life at the point of your selfish behavior still matters but your actions MUST be changed, NOW! You are part of the problem, not the solution.
“Take a good look at yourself and make the change.”

Power with integrity and compassion is one of the most powerful ability or gift any human being can ever achieve!!!!!

What I want you to do is forget the negative things others have made you believe.
Start fresh.
Write down 3 good things about you.
Write down one thing you do well.
Write down something about yourself you want to explore that is positive.

Forget the negative. Focus on the positive.
You can not change the past. Set- it - free.

I believe deep down that we are placed on this earth for our souls to learn ultimately kindness, compassion and understanding not just for ourselves but for those different from ourselves.

No matter your place in the socio economic scale these days, you were placed on this earth with an ability to be kind, compassionate and understanding in what ever you do.

Mother Teresa was and is one of my heroes. She would say “do small things with great love” And so if you do, your life right then and there is pivotal to our destination as a people, as a planet.

As we age our gifts evolve or may completely change. So as we transition through life we need to re-explore ourselves.
Now get out there and explore the possibilities and of course, be fabulous while doing it.

Have a great week!
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

The valuable things you can learn from an old hippy bus

2010-08-31T09:11:00.001-07:00

As I was driving down north Watt Avenue this past Sunday, there was an old VW bus being driven by a man about my age.
He had a full beard, long hair, a canoe safely secured on top of his car and a smile on his face.

Now I could hardly keep my eyes on the road like I should be doing, I was too busy reading the numerous stickers randomly plastered all over the sides and back of his car. They were that good.

Ex: Powered by pineapples. I have been powered by pineapples and was having a really good time. Flashback, big grin.

Once you stop whining you can realize the good things in your life.

Attitude, the difference between adventure and ordeal.

If you have never failed then you have never been outside your comfort zone.

If you are caught in a storm, keep rowing but keep an image of yourself getting out alive.

That was all I could read and not get in an accident…..dar n.
Thank you to my deeply wise stranger.

Sometimes, there is nothing else needed to be said, so…. Have a great week.

With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

The Full moon on Tuesday

2010-08-29T20:24:00.001-07:00

On Wednesday morning as I opened the window to allow fresh air and sunshine in, I saw Tuesday’s full moon smiling at me on the western horizon.
It was full, intricate and peaceful.

I lit my morning tea candle of gratitude then I poured my coffee and sat logistically to be able to be in the presence of this moon.

As I looked at the horizon and then looked around me a feeling of humbleness overcame me. Here I was in my home surrounded by my very protective dogs knowing that in spite of all that was worrying my mind and heart, the challenges my partner and I were working through together were all going to pass……

I thought about all the people in Pakistan who are facing catastrophic conditions that are worsening by the day. All those innocent people suffering because of a situation out of their control.
Then I thought about the people of New Orleans 5 years after hurricane Katrina still working to bring life and safety to their area, and the people of Haiti many still stuck in despair due political and bureaucratic issues….
I thought about all the people who lost their homes due to the economy, all the families that have a loved one at a region plagued by war and unrest……and all the innocent people that have been negatively impacted by any war or act of terrorism in any way….and I said, Thank you God for my problems are minor compared to these.
Thank you God for a loving family, Thank you for guiding me to take care of my body, mind and soul, Thank you for a loving partner, Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Yes my loved ones and I have challenges that sometimes wear our souls down as fast as we replenish ourselves……however, in the scope of things we are ok.

Then instead of feeling guilty for having the capability to keep moving forward, I began to repeat the Zen chant I posted on August 8, 2010.

May suffering ones be suffering free
And the fear struck be fearless be
May the grieving shed all grief
And the sick find health relief.

I repeated this over and over.....

May we all be blessed! May we all be granted the strength, the ability and the support to keep moving forward to a safer, more peaceful and healthier place.
Bless us all dear God, Bless us all!

And with that, I felt like I was floating…. then I noticed the moon had disappeared over the horizon and it was time to get ready for work.

Have a great week!
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

Get outside, get moving and be fabulous

2010-08-22T19:14:00.001-07:00

“Dear --- I release me to change in ways I never thought I could.
I leave any changing that needs to be done in your hands. Amen”
(Stormie Omartian)

In my job there are many files that come across my desk with a variety of health care concerns. Many are from immune suppressed health care problems, cancer and depression just to name a few.

Now I am fully aware that there are genetic pre dispositions, there are environmental contributors and certain circumstances that are out of our wellness and health control.
However, there are also many, many people who have serious health issues from the lack of activity and fresh air because we are too over extended and thus too tired. It’s a vicious circle.

Many of our jobs mandate we are stuck in front of a computer for 10-12 hours a day.
Many personal responsibilities also keep us indoors. Even poor air quality contributes to our needing to remain indoor.

Here is what I am proposing. Every day either early in the morning before it becomes too hot or too much traffic go for a short walk. Work days? Then do it in the evening.

Here is why: Walking outside has been proven to reduce stress, oxygenate our bodies including our minds. It is a free resource that helps to provide us with strong bones and a healthy cardiovascular system. We replace our chi/life force and we get rosy cheeks in the process. We can also do anger management when we remove ourselves from an argument with a loved one or at work and allow our selves to cool off.

We can sit by a tree, a safe quiet place, take some deep breaths then go for a walk.
We can repeat short prayers or positive affirmations while we walk and decompress.
Never talk on the cell phone while walking, while riding a bike or any activity that requires you to be aware of your environment. Be fully present in the moment.

How does walking outside strengthen our immune system?
Well, part of our immune system are the white blood cells found in our lymph nodes and blood. The heart circulates our blood throughout our body by its pumping action. The problem is that our lymph system does not have an organ such as our hearts to circulate the healing properties of the lymph fluid and white blood cells.
That is why we have to be physically active at least 30 minutes a day, because the lymph system that affects our immune system depends on us to exercising, being physically active. Who knew?

When we add sunshine to our walk, active yard work, bike riding, kayaking or any other activity that increases our heart rate, we add the benefit of Vitamin D to our immune system boosting.
Our body needs Vitamin D to be well and also helps fight certain kinds of cancer.
Sunshine provides us with natural source of Vitamin D.
By walking in the early morning or cooler hours of the evening we lessen the chances of skin cancer which frequently results from repeated sun burns.

As long as we remember to take comfortable, rhythmic breaths we breathe in fresh air that clears up our lungs and minds and we keep our lymph fluid circulating and our immune system working at a healthier level. It even helps to keep our minds younger.

Stress lowers our immune system, physical activity no matter how tired you may feel boosts our immune system and energy levels. I find repeating a simple rhythmic phrase or prayer such as the one written above keeps my mind busy and gives it even deeper purpose and meaning as well. A healthy multi tasking.

Now of course, if you are under medical care check with your physician first to make sure there are not other factors to take into consideration such as medications or environmental factors.

Dogs are great way to get us outside for long walks but keep them on a leash for safety.
Do what it takes but get out there…Wear comfortable shoes and leave the cigarettes behind. No, really.

I’m walking, I’m breathing, I’m repeating my prayer or phrase and I am smiling.

Have a great week.
With love compassion and respect,
Carmen

9 Days- My personal internal conflict and how I was able to get out of my own way:

2010-08-15T12:46:00.000-07:00

This blog was written by one of my daughters. Her personal experience can be utilized by anyone for just about any personal struggle or need. Amazing. A must read for anyone in any relationship that needs help.

Whether you believe in God or not, it doesn’t not matter as long you are open to the idea that there is something higher than ourselves that is kind, compassionate and forgiving.

A must read to the end:

“I have been working at it for a good, solid year, since my return to D.C. last September. It all began when my relationship with the love of my life and father of my daughter began to dissolve into sadness, pain, confusion and desperation. A friend gave me a book as a present. This book has changed my world, “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian.

(Male or female, Gay or straight, keep on reading)

This friend had been going through a similar situation and had to look to something greater than herself and within herself if she ever was ever to make any changes in her life and relationships. I have begun to apply the workings of this powerful book to my own life as a now single woman and mother of an amazingly blessed and gifted daughter.

My daughter has been the recipient of my lack of patience. I knew this and I hated it. I would pray that I could be a better mother to her. I wasn’t present when we were together. As much as I tried, our time spent just wasn’t what I wanted it to be or what she deserved. I could see that I was shadowing her bright spirit with my sadness, pain and frustration. I refused to allow this to happen anymore. I made a conscious decision to move her front and center in my life. Since then, everything has begun to evolve, rotate and take its own place.

With this being said, I began to translate the prayers in Omartian’s book so that they applied to my life. I knew what I had to offer the world but, couldn’t seem to peel back the angry layers of grime to expose the brilliant, shiny Me. So, I prayed and God allowed me to release. I prayed and cried and prayed some more. In the shower, next to my bed, driving down the road, at the kitchen table, next to my daughter’s empty toddler bed as she traveled with her father….and like a miracle, something was awakened in me, a new me was born and revealed to me was the new patient, refreshed me. My daughter was getting her new mom and She was Me.

I learned to pray for this in Omartian’s book, “Make me a new person, Lord. Give me a fresh perspective, a positive outlook, and a renewed relationship with the [daughter/son/etc] You’ve given me. Help me see her with new eyes, new appreciation, new love, new compassion, and new acceptance. Give my [daughter/son/etc] a new [mother/father/etc], and let it be me.” (Pg. 46) And, like that, she walked off the plane and my heart lit up! We ran to each other like lovers in a movie. Arms outstretched smiles from ear to ear. I literally couldn’t get to her fast enough.

In nine days, something released in me the ability to see and feel differently for my daughter. Like the serum of patience had been injected into my very being and now flows through my veins. We interact differently, like never before. I see her. I acknowledge this little girl for what she is, a two-year old. I promise, the communication I have with her is divinely lead because I can hear the words in my head before they ever reach my lips. I’m calm and it's so natural. She listens. No more yelling and arguing about getting things done. I ask and, she listens. I see her eyes smiling because the energy I give to her is different now, it’s calm. I have slowed down and now am in step with her precious little self. I prayed for God to give my daughter a new mother and He has.

Sometimes, it’s difficult because we just don’t know where to start with the healing process. I have extremely high expectations for myself and with a bar set so high, frustration and failure is inevitable. The second quote from Omartians’ book which has literally changed how I exist in this world is, “I realize that in some ways [I] may never change, but at the same time, I release [me] to change in ways I never thought [I] could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither of us is perfect and never will be.” pg. 45

If this story has touched you in any way, I encourage you to reach deep inside yourself and speak the truth. Give a voice to your pain and then release it. Surrender and allow your faith to guide you. Trust in the power of prayer. Give thanks to God for the strength and opportunity of bringing you into a new day, every day. Acknowledge your areas needing change and then forgive yourself. Release them into the world. Allow yourself to be a blank palette because you never know how capable you are of change until you surrender and let God take the lead. Best wishes on your journey….”

Thank you and have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

Zen Chant

2010-08-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

Hey, did you know that you can help make the world a better place?
Yep u!
It’s simple to start.
Repeat this Zen Chant at least 3 times and pass it on.
It pretty much covers what many are experiencing around the world even as we speak.

Believe it or not, something as simple as saying this chant to your self 3x in a row can even help you feel a little better.
Try and see.
Then pass it on any way you can to everyone you know.
Even if it circles our globe at least once it can make a difference.
Really.
You can feel the mind intent of kindness.
You can feel the mind intent of compassion.

We all have a little kindness & compassion to share for those struggling.
Just give it a shout and check it out:

May suffering ones be suffering free
And the fear struck be fearless be
May the grieving shed all grief
And the sick find health relief.

May suffering ones be suffering free
And the fear struck be fearless be
May the grieving shed all grief
And the sick find health relief.

May suffering ones be suffering free
And the fear struck be fearless be
May the grieving shed all grief
And the sick find health relief.

Alright, do your thing and have a great week!
I know I can count on U.

With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen

If I were G-D for a Day…Be afraid, be very afraid…or not

2010-08-01T16:44:00.000-07:00

In Life According to Carmen, negative behavior on any level can be changed with behavior modification.
My solution to all of our world’s problems?
Simple, let me be G-d for about 3 days.
I would make it so that every single one of us experiences every reaction we create in another life…at the very same time they do.
Example- we do nice things for someone- the joy they feel or the gratitude they feel, we would experience at the same time but double the amount.

We hurt someone with our careless words and actions and they experience sadness, pain, or any negative emotion, then at the very same time they are experiencing their negative emotions we will as well…yep, double.

After about a day of this people would begin to understand cause and effect.
We would choose our words more carefully, respectfully, compassionately.
We would choose our actions the same.

Pain for you, yikes, double to the pain for me.

Warm and fussy for you, yeah, double the warm and fuzzy for me.
That includes how we treat all living creatures for all life counts and even animal have souls that have to be treated well, respectfully, compassionately.

Even playing head games will be experienced by us…doesn’t this sound like fun? No ? How about effective?

So, I’ve put in my application for the job of temporary Omnipotent, Master of the Universe.
Trust me, you will know when and if I get the job so you better be good until then.

Have a great week.
With love compassion and respect,
Carmen

Illuminating my eyes

2010-07-25T18:27:00.000-07:00

Recently a Mayo clinic staff writer stated that taking the path less traveled by exploring our spirituality can lead to a clearer life purpose, better personal relationships and enhanced stress management skills.
How so?
By helping us feel a sense of purpose.
By helping us feel connected to the world… we tend to make different choices when we think globally
By helping us understand the importance of being able to release control.
According to the Mayo Clinic, yes, by allowing ourselves to make a spiritual connection we can actually lead a healthier life.

For me, it all started when I was a little girl in Puerto Rico, my grandmother Lolita would take me to church with her on Sundays. Now my grandmother was not a warm & fuzzy kind of person and to think about it, I don’t remember spending any other days with her...ever… just Sunday mornings.

The funny thing is Sunday morning church services transformed her into a more peaceful person and when we left church and entered her home we would go directly to the room where there was a place to kneel while praying and leave a lighted candle.

This very peaceful memory has for ever been etched in my heart and soul.

Just before puberty, I came to the States to live with my mother who raised us Jewish for you see, although my grandmother loved and practiced Catholicism she had actually been born and raised a Jewish woman as had been my grandfather.

So for the next 10 years I was then taught the beautiful teachings of Judaism as well.
There is a Sabbath ritual which is the lighting of the Sabbath lights on Friday evening.
Just before sundown, women and some men light 2 candles for harmony within the home or shalom bayit as well as for the Joy of the Sabbath. One candle is shomor or keep, the other sakhor or remember - keep & remember the Sabbath.
However, these 2 candles also represent the dualities in our lives such as body & soul or silence and speech, creation and revelation.

I remember lighting the candles first, then as I closed my eyes I would say a blessing in Hebrew, then a prayer of gratitude and as I slowly opened my eyes I would look at the candles slowly motioning my hands around the candles and bringing back their light towards me, inside of me. I would stand there and feel this peace fill my very essence for a brief second then it would be gone.

My mother and grandmother both passed by the time I was 21. For years I did not carry on these wonderful traditions for way too many reasons to mention.
When my daughters were in middle school and for sure in high school, I began lighting candles again for gratitude, blessings and requests.
It has been 20 + years that there has always been a candle safely burning on my alter of gratitude and thoughts and when someone is needing a little help, people request of me to remember their loved one in my prayers. As I do, I keep my mother’s and grandmother’s teaching of gratitude for their Higher Power that was so engrained within me.

My alter is non denominational or perhaps more accurately, multi denominational from a Hebrew Blessing for the home to beautiful statues of Jesus, Mary and Quan Yin to Red Hawk feathers. There is always a light for global peace and understanding burning, but daily I light my tea candle of gratitude for without the love, forgiveness and direction of my Higher Power, I could not keep moving forward and maintain my life of wellness.

Have a great week.
With love, compassion and respect,
Carmen