She opens the article by writing, “Leaders who create extraordinary new possibilities are passionate about their mission and tenacious in pursuit of it. Many people have good ideas, but many fewer are willing to put themselves on the line for them. Passion separates good intentions and opportunism from real accomplishments.”

Professor Kanter describes how a colleague and friend Dr. Donald M. Berwick started his career as a pediatrician with a vision to improve health outcomes for patients. Today he is the founder and president of the Institute for Healthcare Improvement which reaches thousands of hospitals, hundreds of thousands of practitioners, and millions of patients.

Yet even with his achievements as a professor at Harvard Medical School, the Harvard School of Public Health and leading the Institute for Healthcare Improvement, his aspirations continue. Now Dr. Berwick has another door that may open. He is nominated by President Obama to be administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, which runs health programs insuring nearly one-third of all Americans.  

As you graduate with your degree and embark on leaving your footprint in the world, I share with you Dr. Kanter’s 12 questions to guide you in determining if your passion matches your aspiration. Congratulations!

1. Do I feel strongly about the need for this?

2. Does the idea fit my long-held beliefs, values, and convictions?

3. Have I dreamed about something like this for a long time?

4. Do I think that this is vital for the future of people I care about?

5. Do I get excited when I think about it, and convey excitement when I talk about it?

6. Am I convinced that this can be accomplished?

7. Am I willing to put my credibility on the line to promise action on it?

8. Am I willing to spend time to sell it to others who might not understand or support it?

9. Can I make this the major focus of my activities?

10. Am I willing to devote personal time, above and beyond organizational time, to see that this happens?

11. Do I feel strongly enough to ignore negativity and fight for this?

12. Am I committed to seeing this through, over the long haul?

What next?
Subscribe to Carol Bory’s Etiquette Blog with RSS reader or email.

Graduates: Does Your Passion Match Your Aspiration? is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog

I remember as a child growing up my mother would bake pizza every Saturday night. The dough for the crust was either a package mix or if we made bread earlier in the day, we saved some dough for the pizza. The toppings were simple: a small can of tomato sauce, fried and sliced Italian sausage and lots of thick slices of mozzarella cheese. Then thirty minutes in the oven and wallah! Oh the memories.

Fast forward a couple of decades and now I ask you, do you eat pizza with your fingers or a fork?  As a child, and now most times as an adult, I use my fingers. Now that’s not to say if I’m served pizza with a knife and fork that I skip using the flatware. It’s usually a subtle hint I’m in an establishment where patrons use a fork over fingers.

So when eating pizza with my fingers, here are the etiquette tips I follow so the meal does not become messy.  

1)    Resist blowing on the pizza when it is hot. It really doesn’t cool the pizza any faster. Wait a minute or so for the pizza slice to cool. You will also save yourself from burning the roof of your mouth.

2)    Don’t tilt your head backward like you are going to gulp the slice of pizza. Save the silliness for when you are eating by yourself (if at all). Instead, share some conversation with the folks at your table.

3)    If the pizza slice is layered with soft melted cheese, score the cheese with a knife before taking your first bite. Sometimes using a knife and fork is the better option in this situation.

4)    If the crust is crisp, skip eating the crust and place it on the side of your plate. You don’t want your friends hearing a “crunch” when you bite into the crust.

5)    Avoid licking your fingers by using plenty of napkins. Don’t be shy about asking for more napkins. It is much better to have several paper napkins on your lap than one unsightly and overused napkin.

Now it’s your turn. What are your etiquette tips for enjoying a pizza with friends?

What next?
Subscribe to Carol Bory’s Etiquette Blog with RSS reader or email.

What is Your Pizza Taste, Fingers or Fork? is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog

Unvarnished

While LinkedIn allows community users to post recommendations about other professionals, Unvarnished promotes itself as “providing candid assessments of coworkers, potential hires, business partners, and more.” The objective is “by contributing Unvarnished reviews, you can share your knowledge of other professionals, giving credit where credit is due, and valuable feedback where needed.” In essence, by providing anonymous user feedback, a person will be more inclined to share balanced feedback giving readers a more realistic assessment of a person’s performance.

While I am skeptical Unvarnished will reach its goal with anonymous reviews, nonetheless, it is a site that garners a professional’s attention. Be sure to read the suggestions for managing your professional reputation and the guidelines for writing a review.

For readers who have attended my seminars, the following comment may sound familiar: Nothing on the Internet is 100% private. If a person gains unauthorized access to a site, even momentarily, your name and associated words, photos, etc. are accessible to the public. Even Unvarnished states, “reviewers, while not identified, do have identity and a reputation on the site, and gain authority over time through their highly-voted reviews and the creation of recognizable patterns within their professional network.”

From an etiquette perspective, before posting on Unvarnished or any social network site, think about your intention of the post. Is an anonymous text-based post the best communication method to convey your intended message? Can the text-based message potentially be misunderstood by the reader? Do the words convey consideration for the other person? If in doubt, pick up the phone to communicate the message or meet the person face-to-face for a discussion.

Related Post
Why Email Starts Fights

What next?
Subscribe to Carol Bory’s Etiquette Blog with RSS reader or email.

Unvarnished Site May Tarnish Your Business Reputation is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog

The service provider Teneros says its solution “empowers companies to monitor employee public activity on social networks such as Twitter and Facebook [My Space and LinkedIn this summer] helping to eliminate corporate risks related to: compliance, leakage of sensitive information, HR issues, legal exposure and brand damage.”

Domino’s Pizza knows all to well the damage a social media misstep can have on a company’s reputation. When two employees taped a prank video depicting unsavory food practices, the video went viral and within a few days there were more than a million views on YouTube.  According to YouGov an online research firm, the perception of Domino’s brand quality went from positive to negative in approximately 48 hours.

The lesson learned: Whether intentional or unintentional, video, photos, words, etc. posted on public social networking sites can be misinterpreted, sometimes with negative consequences. Pause before you post.

Below I’ve listed a few social networking guidelines from three prominent companies that I find helpful when engaging in the world of social media.

“Perception is reality. In online social networks, the lines between public and private, personal and professional are blurred. Just by identifying yourself as an Intel employee, you are creating perceptions about your expertise and about Intel by our shareholders, customers, and the general public-and perceptions about you by your colleagues and managers. Do us all proud. Be sure that all content associated with you is consistent with your work and with Intel’s values and professional standards.” – Intel Social Media Guidelines

“Protecting confidential and proprietary information. You must make sure you do not disclose or use IBM confidential or proprietary information or that of any other person or company in any online social computing platform. For example, ask permission before posting someone’s picture in a social network or publishing in a blog a conversation that was meant to be private.” – IBM Social Computing Guidelines

“Keep your cool. One of the aims of social media is to create dialogue, and people won’t always agree on an issue. When confronted with a difference of opinion, stay cool. Express your points in a clear, logical way. Don’t pick fights, and correct mistakes when needed. Sometimes, it’s best to ignore a comment and not give it credibility by acknowledging it with a response.” – Kodak Social Media Policies

What next?
Subscribe to Carol Bory’s Etiquette Blog with RSS reader or email.

Software Uncovers Employees’ Social Networking Faux Pas is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog

The reason for the placement of the knife blade stems back to the Middle Ages. During this time men regularly carried at least one knife. For the common man, the knife served two purposes: one as an eating utensil for spearing meat on the tip of the blade, the other for use as a dagger. For aristocratic men, they carried two knives. One knife for use as a kitchen tool for cutting meat before the feast, the second knife as a dagger carried in a sheath suspended from a belt around their waist.

In fact, have you heard the expression, “To whet your appetite?” It comes from the practice during the Middle Ages of placing a whetstone before the entrance of an eating room so men could sharpen their knifes before they would partake in a feast of food.

It is because people were keenly aware men were armed with knives at the eating table (threatening human weapons), that table manners were created for safety. A system of civilized taboos were created to reduce tension while at the same time to protect one another–“we do not want the guests to get mixed up with the dishes.” 1

This is why table manners say not to point a knife at anyone at the table, or to hold the knife standing upright in your fist, or to have the cutting edge of the knife blade face a guest. It is all based on the notion that we sit closely at a table and that we easily could be vulnerable if not for the control, order, and regularity men and women show each other through their table manners.

1 Margaret Visser, The Rituals of Dinner

What next?
Subscribe to Carol Bory’s Etiquette Blog with RSS reader or email.

A Flatware Folly You Want to Avoid is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog

“Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame-seed bun.”

For Super Bowl 2010 change is on the way. This year CBS will broadcast an advocacy ad during the Super Bowl that is drawing controversy even before its television debut.

Sponsored by Focus on the Family, “Celebrate Family, Celebrate Life” will feature football player Tim Tebow and his mother telling the story of her decision not to end her difficult pregnancy that resulted in the birth of her Heisman Trophy winner son Tim Tebow.

For thirty seconds there will be a change in tradition, this time to show a controversial advocacy ad during the Super Bowl.

For the Super Bowl party guest, below are some tips for civil conversation during the thirty second commercial.

-    First, decide whether you want to engage in a conversation or not. Since the topic is controversial, ask yourself if this is the best time and place to start a discussion. If not, maybe after the Super Bowl game or the following day would be better.

-   Second, some people are very passionate about their viewpoints. If you engage in a conversation be respectful of other’s opinions and exclude personal attacks. If the topic gets heated, you can always excuse yourself from the conversation or change the subject.

-   Third, it is also quite acceptable to say, “I am not quite comfortable discussing this topic at the party.” Most party goers will respect your feelings and move on.   

Finally, keep in mind you’re an invited guest at a party. As a guest your primary responsibility is alertness to how your behavior respects the host and the other guests at the party. The last thing your host wants his/her guests to remember about the party is a verbal scuffle.

What next?
Subscribe to Carol Bory’s Etiquette Blog with RSS reader or email.

Talking Tips For A Controversial Super Bowl Commercial is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog

I sometimes picture Internet dialog as a pendulum swinging in an opposing direction, free from the encumbrances of courtly culture, where deference was restricted to those above us in the social hierarchy. Yet as the pendulum swings from courtly culture to the freewill of an individual, we see another dynamic. We see the “democratization” of deference. Deference once reserved to courtly subjects, transformed into an aspect of all (or almost all) of our interactions. Mutual recognition of individual preferences now becomes a part of forming our social connections (Adam B. Seligman, 2000).  

Interestingly though, as the pendulum reaches the pinnacle of its arch, there is another tradeoff. The confidence once held in courtly culture—that a person would act according to a collective set of social norms—is now replaced by trust in the freewill of the person.  Trust in one another to show mutual recognition, not because it is law or tradition or obligation, but because of the morality embodied in our freewill.

It is in the codes of civility and the social norms of etiquette do we see mindfulness for individuals, curbing our desires at times in recognition of another’s preferences. It is when we ascribe to these ideas, do we begin to develop social bonds of trust: trust between unknown persons.

Related Post
Knowledge is Power, Character is More

What next?
Subscribe to Carol Bory’s Etiquette Blog with RSS reader or email.

How Trust Is Offered Among Strangers is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog

Below is an excerpt from his post: Home Again, A Long Way From Haiti.

January 18, 2010 

“. . . We flew home this weekend on a U.S. Air Force C-17—which we later learned was part of the “shake-down” portion of what will become an air bridge of evacuees from Haiti who will now become temporary residents of McGuire Air Force Base in New Jersey.” “. . . On our flight, there were . . . about 10 members of the media alongside approximately 100-150 Haitian evacuees.  They were all tired, scared, sad, thankful, unfailingly polite and peaceful. Those with children seemed totally devoted to their cargo, and not one of the children fussed during our 10-hour journey.”

“. . . I must confess to intervening in military affairs on the flight home. It struck me that our current wartime military has now been thrust into a giant and urgent humanitarian mission, and that was not fully reflected on this first evacuee flight.  The professional and businesslike Air Force crew on board made all the appropriate announcements, and showed their usual courtesy to their passengers, but it was clear they were used to transporting pallets of water and Humvees and generators…and not people, some of whom were enduring the darkest chapter of their lives. They boarded this cargo jet not knowing where they were going.  Many were wearing minimal clothing, and they were headed north to the dead of winter. I suggested to the media liaison on board that the Crew Chief of the flight find a volunteer to make a few announcements in Creole.  It was apparent to me that our guests were not paying attention to the announcements (those about safety, meager amenities, and updates on the flight, including such term-of-art phrases as “taking on fuel” and “off-loading passengers”) and were missing out on vital information.  In what I hope becomes an act of Air Force policy, we witnessed an amazing change: the passengers who had been asleep or disinterested during the announcements suddenly came to attention when they heard their native tongue being spoken to them, with great courtesy from a young father of a beautiful little girl on board.  He was thrust into the “announcer” role and did superbly well.” 

“I was also concerned upon landing that the Haitian visitors were subjected to almost punitive-feeling searches once on the base—bomb-sniffing dogs and metal detectors…the standard operating procedure when non-military passengers arrive, but suddenly slightly tone-deaf in terms of what these Haitians had been through.  It will simply require some sensitivity on the part of our young airborne warriors—our armed forces volunteers, who have been fighting this nation’s dual wars for years now, non-stop.  There was no food available on the 10-hour journey—and while there was water, it was never handed out—it was made available in the front of the aircraft, only for those who understood the announcement in English. It was immediately apparent that many of the passengers did not realize there was water…or a bathroom available on board…until it was time to leave, when they walked by both on their way out.  To be fair: the care and comfort of human passengers on a cavernous cargo jet has not been a priority of the Air Force lately, but now it is.”

“It was because of my familiarity with the military—on so many levels—that I spoke up. . .”

January 20, 2010

“I heard from a high-ranking Air Force official last night. . . The concerns I raised (gently, respectfully and reluctantly, given my appreciation of the work of our military) have been acted upon  . . .”

“Since the Air Force can’t find Creole-speaking personnel on short notice to be on board every rescue flight, the policy from now on will be to do what we did on our flight: ask for a volunteer from among the evacuees to make announcements and answer any questions. . .”

Mr. Williams humbly adds in his blog post, “The senior official was effusive in his thanks . . .” (for bringing the observations and suggestions to the military.)

I sit back and reflect on Mr. Williams gentle, respectful tone and am thankful that amidst a very difficult situation for many, Mr. Williams chose civility to express his desire for change. If the tone were different, I wonder if the outcome would have been the same.

Related Post
Raising the Bar on Business Etiquette

What next?
Subscribe to Carol Bory’s Etiquette Blog with RSS reader or email.

The Humanity of Civility is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog

What are her other concerns? Hoping people don’t drink from the finger bowls or take silverware as a souvenir.

Watch this three minute video as Ms. Zantzinger talks about coordinating a state dinner from the White House chef preparing tasting menus to the first lady choosing the flowers, tablecloths, and china to be used that evening.

A Sneak Peak in Preparing a State Dinner at the White House is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog

L.A. Burdick’s handmade chocolate turkeys are truely a unique gift. I have tasted their chocolates and they are oh so good! Below is a description of the chocolate turkeys from their website.

 ”These chocolate turkeys are hand-piped with flavored ganache, each boasting a tail of almond feathers. We have a choice of Dark Chocolate Turkeys piped with a clementine ganache, and a Milk Chocolate Turkey piped with pecan, bourbon and chestnut ganache.”

 A box of four chocolate turkeys is U.S. $15.00 plus shipping. Individual chocolate turkeys wrapped in a cello bag are also available at U.S. $3.50 each plus shipping.

Enjoy! Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Note: This is not a sponsored post. I do not receive monetary compensation from L.A. Burdick.

Last Minute Thanksgiving Gift Idea is a post from: Carol Bory's Business Etiquette Blog