Carolina Z

portrait

2011-10-04T20:33:00.004+01:00

the eyes i give the color

belly butterflies ought to have

all the rest

would be just speculation

free

2010-12-06T11:04:00.005Z

in the greys of winter
through the clouds of stone
a mass of winged
in common sense
heads south
only one chap
takes a mid-air turn
makes a dive or two
and planes the other way

j u s t
be
cause

blind date

2010-10-16T20:20:00.004+01:00

when doors slide shut
find me

through dimming light
sight me

though scissored nerves
sense me

while shutting down
scan me

and see

target

2010-10-10T21:08:00.004+01:00

no matter
how close the shot

i miss you

the bridge

2010-09-20T20:29:00.008+01:00

if you never saw me again

would you remember my voice
could you retrace the joy
and the sky we starred with trust?

if you never saw me again

would you still hear the singing
could you still picture my leaning
over dreams that did you bad?

if i simply never came
if you never heard your name
from my mouth and eyes and arms
again

how long would it take till the bridge disappeared?

grin house effect

2010-04-04T11:36:00.009+01:00

the rain you yell on me

is not the thunderstorm you paint

on your canvas, with your greys

at my window

in my face

soothing shower cleansing crystals feeding flowers

i recycle

the flames you throw my way

don't trespass their glowing ra(n)ge

burn no clothing, eat no fields

breed no ashes

leave no trace

healing warmth tanning wave cooking fire

i regrade

the tornados you breathe out

whistling all the shades of hate

move a leaf not, barely stir

scatter nothing

roar in vain

replenished lungs refreshing gush cool embrace

i repace

all in place

in your face

midwinter bathtub philosophy

2010-04-02T22:59:00.009+01:00

if you are what you eat
why can't i turn delicious
from glazed donuts?

huh?

lift

2010-02-26T20:08:00.006Z

and through the heft of your wings weightless

you flap

equals

2010-01-14T22:31:00.004Z

1 word to get it right

4 days with a brand new start

100 kisses you'll never taste

20-something and off goes my faith

1 second to get it wrong

3 ways to undig the hole

1000 nights when you weren't there

8 bites on the one who cared

1 thought for a different role

1 look to caress the soul

1 move and it is my turn

1 card and it'll be fun

see

the thing is

i don't do math

grey

2010-01-03T12:40:00.002Z

snow your warmth on me

and melt down my black

worth association

2008-11-12T10:32:00.005Z

her love in the length of a scar

a fight with no taste for war

the craving for oven-fresh peace

his dream of the might-not-have-beens

intents being forced into sleep

a night with no dawning to seek

her love in the range of a star

a light with no shine to dart

kreativ blogger award

2008-11-07T19:25:00.009Z

It was with pure joy - and a considerable share of surprise - that I recently found myself receiving the Kreativ Blogger Award from Kayla, who runs OCD Lives Here and The Fourteener - two excellent contributions to our lives, both real and virtual. Thank you so much, Kayla!

As known, it is now my turn to reach the prize for creativity... and I am surely not the only one to consider him deserving of it: Nathan from Imagination Manifesto, a place which feeds eyes and soul. Creativity is naturally only one, from many attributes. Chances are, he's been Kreativ Blogger awarded many times before... nothing more understandable.

As I learned from Kayla, this particular award requires that a dozen taste-related items be listed... so here they come:

6 things I love, randomly picked:

- My daughter (as in cute little thing :)

- Music

- Cinnabuns (can't get them around here - the pain!)

- Photography

- Kisses in the rain

- Calvin and Hobbes

6 things I do not love, randomly picked:

- When my iPod runs out of battery.

- Shop clerks that look and sound and smell like they are doing me the ultimate favour for selling me something.

- Choosing an absolutely delicious dish from some delivery place menu, getting an obscenely watery mouth at the mere thought of it, calling and finding out that they are closed for the day.

- When my child is sick.

- Driving (Hey, Kayla.. let's start a club? ;)

redemption

2008-11-04T20:40:00.010Z

rescue me

from these dubious thoughts
from this breathing that stings
from the futures i lost

release me

from this toxic hope
from the hours long dead
and the needs they evoke

free me

from this mud in my veins
this unweary withdrawal
and its ruthless reign

find me

in the maze of your being

throw me out
and forbid me

to slip back in

to slip back

to slip

audio version

a melodic composition

but i'm not a singer

don't listen with your ears

listen with your soul

prime flight

2008-11-02T18:41:00.005Z

a
star was
turned on

and for the first time
i didn't miss it

a song was composed

and the newborn got
cradled in my ear

a poem was found

in a rusted tin can
between layers of wait

a fire was lit

from stone on stone
easing paleolithic shivers

when
you came

audio version

song loved

2008-11-01T22:50:00.004Z

Daphne and Apollo
by Nerina Pallot

Venus loved Daphne and so did Apollo
So why can't I make myself like a tree?
Why must I burn daily and nightly
When nobody's running - well not after me.
Must I wait, must I pray
For something good to come my way?

Oh, Daphne was stupid! Yeah, how could she do it?
How could she turn a prince from her door?
'Cause if you came calling, boy I'd let you in
But you don't come calling, well not anymore.
So I wait, and I grow old.
When I'm dead, then you'll know.

Do you know?

You know.

my attempt

cinch

2008-10-23T16:35:00.002+01:00

like the sun gives up shining
when i shut the blinds

much as hurt just steams away
when i quit crying

same way you're no longer there
when i close my eyes

just as rain no longer pours
when i reach my lair

i flip a coin
i pull a plug
i skip a scene
i pick a mug

i hit a switch
and let go of us

erosion

2008-10-19T11:00:00.000+01:00

i was here
all was well
heart was fine
lead was mine
walls bright white, speckless

you were there
voice on mute
bans in bold
dreams on hold
tears dried out, irrevocably

then somewhere

along our timelines

we reclashed

and nothing

remained

in place

not a pebble

not a leaf

not a sigh

a reboot

and i'm back to zero
only this time

i'm alone

the
forces
of nate you
have done their job:
the gap has become a canyon

invoice

2008-10-16T10:23:00.007+01:00

so Chungyen Chang from Weather for Headphones had the simple yet sparkling idea of recording his poems. and what can I say.. i got so inspired that i've decided to implement the gimmick myself! on a happier note for you, kind readers that i treasure, listening to the results is entirely optional. :)

i have only voiced two of my latest posts so far and i don't really think i'll cover the whole of my scribblings. requests, anyone?

i'd also like to take the opportunity to thank Robert from Black Tie and Sneakers, who's been unsayably gracious to me, having gone that far as to reach me an award!

and my very first one too. thank you so much, dear friend! now, i am not exactly sure of what i should do next - what with my lack of experience in the matter. so i'll do as Robert did, since i'm sure he knows what he's doing - and pass it on to two of my favorite bloggers in the whooole wide web:

Tim from Smoke Signals and Juan from Naovem Quenaotem

i hope i'm not doing anything awfully wrong. could i have sent it back to you, Rob?

thank you all for stopping by! ;)

ff

2008-10-14T05:00:00.003+01:00

i had a dream today
of flames and chill
of now being then
and issues gone still

i got some bills to pay
before the jackpot hits me
before the prize is reached
and i can cash thee

i've a confession to make
i didn't word a thing i meant
i never said for how to speak
of the engraved that can't be read

would you please be a darling
and reach for the remote
to get us forwarded

now

audio version

take it

2008-10-11T08:07:00.005+01:00

it's yours

it's not bloody
i promise

it's still pumping
but softly

it won't kill me
the opposite

and it fits in your pocket

audio version

under new direction

2008-10-09T12:14:00.006+01:00

if i were to spread my wings
somebody would try to clip them
some feathers could grow unevenly
my soaring could be unsteady

if i'll just get up and sing
they'll hear the imperfections
i'll know of my limitations
and let them nullify the essence

so i won't

if i could defend myself
i'd no longer sit so still
they'd quit all the understanding
and charge would replace their pity

if i could undust my faith
i'd sound way too self-assured
the world affronts self-assured
i'd have to prove myself right

so i can't

if i take some breath away
there are always the unimpressed
soever this "good, not best"
and the looks that pierce the fragile

and if i go back to writing
who knows what they'll think of me
god knows if you'll feel a thing
or if i can take the blow

so i don't

so i didn't

2008-10-07T04:28:00.004+01:00

you've been my golden best friend
and now with post-demise at hand
i can't go to you for consolation
'cause we're off limits during this transition

this grief overwhelms me
it burns in my stomach
and i can't stop bumping into things

i thought we'd be simple together
i thought we'd be happy together
thought we'd be limitless together
i thought we'd be precious together
but i was sadly mistaken

you've been my soulmate and then some
i remembered you the moment i met you
with you i knew god's face was handsome
with you i saw fun and expansion

this loss is numbing me it pierces my chest
and i can't stop dropping everything

i thought we'd be sexy together
thought we'd be evolving together
i thought we'd have children together
i thought we'd be family together
but i was sadly mistaken

if i had a bill for all the philosophies i shared
if i had a penny for all the possibilities i presented
if i had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air
my wealth would render this no less severe

i thought we'd be genius together
i thought we'd be healing together
i thought we'd be growing together
thought we'd be adventurous together
but i was sadly mistaken

thought we'd be exploring together
thought we'd be inspired together
i thought we'd be flying together
thought we'd be on fire together
but i was sadly mistaken

Alanis - Simple Together

trinity

2008-10-02T19:17:00.002+01:00

her and her
clear achievements
strong-rooted goals
and amazing roles

me and my
maze of doubts

her and my
unwanted presence
disturbing trail
and involuntary offensive

me and her
self-blindness

you and her
hungry love
nearly criminal beauty
and striking ways

you and my
fragile self

me and your
charming spirit
shameless taming
and keys to my every gate

you and her
innocence

fail

2008-09-16T03:33:00.002+01:00

love
as a word, as a metaphor
repainted, renovated, improved
mutated
into orchids, tears or air

love
unspoiled by illusion, unscarred by deception
with all the power conceded
and all the tags that dangle
on all the shapes it borrows

love
in its cradle
raw, naked, immaculate
unconceivable in its very core
and soaked in its very truth

still won't say

audio version

poll results

2008-09-13T12:04:00.003+01:00

why

it frightens
turns off the lights
exposing my darkness
and its unbreathable smell

when

back then
in a decade
as we speak
5 minutes ago

what

this feeling of insufficiency
my bleeding out insecurity
and that fervor to get it right
at no time believing i might

how

head held underwater
after the happy dive
i can't come out for air
i can't come out alive

if i reach for your hands

we will both drown

please
forgive me