CARPEntryDIEM

What's Up?

2012-05-18T01:17:00.000-04:00

North Carolina's Bob Trotman is June's featured artist. Post questions for him in the comments of this post.

I have done a lot of repair and some festival-going in the last week and a half. A few beautiful mashup things were sold quickly and I don't have pictures. One was an 80's shaped hardwood desk base that I matched up with a vintage sheet of bird's eye maple veneer plywood for the top. The bottom layer of the bird's eye looked like weathered leather but it may have been a severely distressed finish applied very thick? About 40x22, 7-layer finish ply with a drawer pull (type of thing) cut out along one edge - the most unique piece of scrap I've run into in a long time!

On this Formica table, I painted the legs burgundy.

Then I built Icehouse II bookcase on commission:

Starting with the door (backing), I cut of the bottom to make it even and to clean off a thin layer of woodrot in the endgrain. The worn, graffitied door was beaten apart from the sides of the tool cabinet it once enclosed, so splintered edges were split off with a chisel. I then wire brushed away the loose paint chips and triple-coated it with water-based polyurethane front and back.(4 layers on exposed endgrain) The hinges were busted off to remove this one, but the bent latch is intact and rotates freely. (Icehouse I Bookcase also had hinges)

The side panels are cut from the plywood back of a very strange old stereo cabinet. I may cannibalize the rest and will try to remember to take pictures of it first. I gave bits of the componentry to Susan for the future making of a Bot.

The shelves are the very last of the shelf-stock donated by our neighbor Sam from a library tear-out in the early 90s. (Previously, I guessed they had come from a prior incarnation at 201 Haywood Rd.) I lost the shop countersink for about a week, so I used a flat auger bit in its absence. With a wide pilot, the flat recess created by the auger seems to create a lock-tight effect when the wood screws bite in at the end. So, lesson learned: losing tools leads to innovation. Lose your tools often as long as you are certain to find them again later.

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] j [

JRun presents : monthly art feature : Interview with Ron van der Ende

2012-05-03T05:22:00.000-04:00

Still Life, 2010 (studio)

I discovered Dutch woodworking artist Ron van der Ende on Empty Kingdom. Soon after, I contacted him about featuring his work on CARPEntryDIEM. He was remarkably open about his passion and process. Following is a portion of our conversations.

Flawless, 2007

JRun: When did scrap material begin to fuel the majority of your work?

Ron van der Ende: I started restricting myself to old wood as material for my sculptures in 1996 because it boasts a wealth of color and texture, it is readily available and inexpensive, and because it is inherently 'imperfect'. Sometimes it looks like it has been touched a million times. It feels good to make something of value from such a modest material.

Axonometric Array, 2008 (studio)

JR: "...touched a million times." I love that idea; some of your work really wants to be touched. So, how did found wood bring you to bas-relief?

RvdE: I vividly remember having my 'eureka!' moment. It suddenly dropped into my head that I could work in this material almost flat to produce a large and light sculpture. I realized instantaneously that it could be done, that it would be possible to do cars and limitless other subjects. That I would not need any detailed technical drawings but just one photograph. And that the result would be unique and spectacular and sell like hot cakes.

Fly Over, 2002 (studio)

JR: An influence from photography is not at all surprising, but it never occurred to me. The work plays with flatness and dimensionality, so maybe photography is just hiding in plain sight.

RvdE: It felt then (and it feels now) like I have stumbled upon a continent of possibilities that is mine alone to explore. And twelve years on, there is still so much opportunity to develop and grow.

Vostok, 2006

It allows me to use both painterly and sculptural solutions. Because of the 'illusion' it tends to draw people in, also people without any existing fondness for art. Also I always liked the idea of a fixed vantage point for anybody looking at a sculpture because it is a big nono with the crafts teachers. In fact it is the same with the use of colors. I'm a bit of a rebel in my own modest way!

Shipsection, 2003 (artist in studio) & Bathyscaphe Trieste, 2010

JR: Where do you collect most of your scraps?

RvdE: Most of my material I find in the streets. I find it myself or my friends call to report a dumpster/skip with interesting materials.

JR: Have your material sources changed over the years?

RvdE: It has shifted a little bit to buying materials at specialized stores because not as many material is being thrown away as a couple of years ago. People are making their own fake Piet Hein Eek furniture with it. Sometimes I buy stuff from the internet, like in 2008 I bought a lot of two hundred and fifty antique doors. That makes a full truckload!

JR: Have you developed relationships by collecting scraps from practical woodworkers or other artists?

RvdE: Not really. The scraps have to be old you know.

JR: I know some old woodworkers here in Asheville. Maybe I will send you a few of their scraps.

RvdE: YEAH!

Plymouth Custom Suburban 1969, 2000; G.A.Z.21 Volga 1962, 2000; Capri, 2002

JR: Some commentaries have attributed a dark industrialism to your work. Is this an atmosphere that you intend to project?

RvdE: Mostly I'm dealing with sculptural qualities. I do not want aesthetics or style to be dominant in my work. And there is a conceptual side but not as 'words intended to justify the work', more as a strategy for possible associations. This becomes especially interesting when pieces are made in a deliberate combination. I used to work in themed series in the past. Series of cars for example, a set about polar exploration or space flight. But in recent years I've started trying on seemingly illogical combinations to great effect. In the end though, every single piece will have to be strong enough to survive in the world individually.

DS II (Pallas), 2008 & Phoenix: Rise ! (Pontiac Firebird Trans-Am), 2011 (studio)

Still Life & On Re-entry (Burning Log), 2010

JR: Maybe it's too obvious, but did you play around with On Re-Entry (Burning Log) and Still Life? You know, having them speak to one another at an exhibition?

RvdE: I have not had these pieces together in a show, unfortunately. Mostly my work sells on the first exhibition they are shown in, so not much opportunity to make combinations like that. It's a shame in this case. Both these pieces have a life and death angle that would have made for a nice combination.

JR: Do you have any details or construction shots from those two endeavors?

On Re-Entry (Burning Log), 2010 (construction, details, studio)

RvdE: I did not have any of the Still Life piece, but some nice shots were made by the "Happy Famous Artists" Collective. You should ask their permission though. Tell then I sent you! They can be reached through their blog.

Still Life, 2010 (details via Happy Famous Artists Collective)

JR: You showed "Perishables" at the Armory in NYC in 2011 and, sadly, we missed it. Do you have any upcoming shows in the US?

RvdE: I'll have a solo show in the spring of 2013 with Ambach & Rice Gallery in Los Angeles.

727, 2008 & KO Valkyrie, 2010

JR: I would also like to include this video if you are happy with it:

RvdE: Sure. It's in Dutch though... I would translate but I'm terribly busy right now. At one point I tell the cameraman that I am sawing "a very tricky little piece of wood."

JR: Thank you very much for speaking with me and my community. It was a pleasure to get to know your work.

RvdE: Of course. Let me know if you have any more questions.

Best,
Ron van der Ende

Checkout 2 / Kassa 2, 2005

(June's featured artist is North Carolina's own Bob Trotman. If you have questions for Bob, please leave them here,

in the comments)

A Promise Is a Promise: Where's My Update?!

2012-04-29T05:57:00.001-04:00

Top two reasons it has taken so long to deliver: a yard sale and a stolen bike. But I don't want to talk about that.

So there it is, the corner bookshelf, nestled in the chaos of Hip thrift. I do believe it will be more comfortable once it has been claimed by a new owner. Keep in mind, it won't look like this anywhere else; the concept is a blank slate.

The open design makes it ideal for the creative display of toys, books, objects and art.

Meanwhile, I have been doing a bit of painting.

Dry brushwork on the side of a bookcase.

Here are new chairs to go with the tree table. Three are pictured from the set of four.

On a warm March morning, I went to a secret location with the artist Penish Wrinkle and we snagged some wonderful graffitied* tool cabinet doors.

*Graffitied is not a word yet! But I believe that one day it will be.

This is the backside of the door, which is being repurposed as the backing for a crooked, wobbly bookcase that I picked up at an estate sale.

And now it is solid as a rock and no longer crooked. I wire brushed the loose paint and heavily glazed the entire door, front and back, so it is a safe piece despite its delinquent origins.

The bookcase for vinyl sold yesterday and two different parties are now very interested in the tree table. It feels great to be productive! Thanks to everyone for your support.
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] j [

Corner Bookcase is here

2012-04-20T01:16:00.000-04:00

After using the six odd boards from the reclaimed futon frame for my personal experiment, it's time to move on to the production piece.

Each of the twelve remaining boards measures 51-3/8 x 2-1/2 x 3/4 (inches).

Two similar panels are constructed as above, and interlocked below.

The back half of each shelf is then attached.

This detail shows how the two pieces of the frame interlock.

The connection is made with dowels so that the case can be split apart and transported.

If you give the objects enough space, as above, there will also be room to hang small art pieces within and around the two frames. I will move the Corner Bookcase into Hip Thrift tomorrow, so look for the update.

] j [

A Very Lightweight Bookcase: Rough Design

2012-04-19T02:03:00.000-04:00

Against the near wall in my workshop are 18 boards reclaimed years ago in Brooklyn from a broken futon frame. It sure did take a long time for this bastard wood to tell me what it wanted to be: a complete departure from my previous pair of bookcases.

Using only the four short and two long boards, I set myself to the task of making an experimental bookcase for my own use.

This model is low and long and close to the ground, well suited to my "Spartan living style" (as described by motorcycle fabricator Norm Plombe).

The shelves are rather narrow and bouncy, and the bottom "shelf" is the floor itself. These factors make the prototype unsuitable for mainstream consumption, but perfect for my meager needs and open spaces.

Using the remaining twelve regular boards, the upcoming shelf will more than double the weight of my experiment. It will also measure twice as tall and nearly twice as long, gaining stability by wrapping completely around the corner. After framing it I will decide on the use of backing, which would bring another material element into play. I hope instead that my design can allow the bookcase to fit snugly against the wall.

] j [

A Tale of Two Woodpiles {and the Hip Horse}

2012-04-11T18:47:00.000-04:00

I will start the tale with the Horse. Now that my role at Hip Thrift is becoming more tangible, I have been granted occasional use of a new used van for the hoarding of the woodpiles.

Last week, someone finally brought down the axe on an old rotting tree in their front yard. And I swept in to pick up the pieces. Pun intended; it's one of those days.

This is a weird crystallized dead grub.

And this grub was quite alive. Which brings me to a burning question: how can I be sure that this beautifully eroded wood is ready to work once it has been seasoned? I thought of cutting it into small enough pieces and cooking out the critters in my home oven. I also thought of bartering with a local reclaim outfit to use their kiln in exchange for the lion's share of the wood. Has anyone tried to do this on their own? Please leave comments!

The larger pieces have decayed to just the right state to produce interesting burls, so I am very eager to start seasoning it. I even wonder if some aggressive chainsaw slicing might be good enough for removing all of the little buggers . . .

Now the coolest part of this story is how I met the creator of the Bottitudes. It's her tree in her yard. I always get permission before scrapping, so when we got to talking Susan shared her creations. Look for these funky little raku-glazed bots soon at Hip Thrift.

My son is with me on Spring Break and the next story got him all excited. I have been scoping out construction jobs and scrap piles and finally corralled the boss on this one down on Waynesville Ave.

The foreman is more than happy to let me raid the scrap pile for the duration of construction.

And my son is more than happy to get down to it and load some scrap! Call it shameless child labor if you'd like, but does get paid . . . in root beer floats . . .

Whether it be dead trees or seemingly useless piles of scrap, we are on the lookout for wood. I will be sure to put it to good use!
] j [

Prototype Revealed: Tiny Legs for Tiny Legs

2012-04-06T19:17:00.001-04:00

My daughter has been asking for a step stool to reach the sink, and now I have finally gotten to it!

Here are five members from my old pile of 2x4 cutoffs, arranged as three legs attached to two planks.

The feet are attached with deep-sunk wood screws.

The pre-drilled holes on each side are given a healthy bubble of wood glue and six dowels are inserted 3" deep into one plank.

With a hammer, the two sides are tapped gently together. If much force needs to be applied, it is best to use another block of wood as a beater to avoid marring the edges of the finished piece.

In a few hours the two sides of the doweled step stool will be firmly fixed in place.

Full curing time depends on the wood glue used, but usually takes 24 - 48 hours. I like the results: a simple sturdy child's step stool or comfy adult bench. If I can work out some of the kinks, a prettified version should be on sale soon -you know where - Hip Thrift.

And in completely unrelated news, this mess blessed me in front of my house in the morning . . .

What madness can I contrive from a broken exercise bike? The future remains unknown, though I certainly had a good time disassembling it!

Tutorial: DIY Bookshelf holds Vinyl

2012-03-30T22:28:00.000-04:00

My last bookshelf sold at the March Hip Thrift Second Saturday event. I also had a specific request to build another to hold vinyl. As luck would have it, I had exactly enough material to build one nearly identical but with taller shelf spacing.

If you like it, I have good news: the original requester has not been in touch, so this new shelf is still available. As I mentioned in the last post, the record-shelf has been assembled for awhile but apparently needed time to settle down before being painted.

More good news: it's a good starter project if you want to work on some basic woodworking skills. To complete this DIY project, you will need shelfstock, a single bi-fold door, fence slats, and fasteners. Paint or other finishes are optional. Useful tools: speed square, tape measure, carpenter's pencil, safety gear, circular saw, jig saw, drill and drivers / bits, countersink, and brushes or spraygun.

Always start by cleaning, organizing and syncing the pieces you plan to assemble. Shelfstock is squared on both ends and cut to match the shortest length. Mark square lines with a speed square or carpenter square, then carefully cut with a reliable saw. These boards are squared on both ends and cut to a uniform 28 inches.

(Hey look, it's that nifty oval table before it got painted!)

Once the hardware is removed from the bi-fold door, all pieces are uniform and ready to be altered and assembled. First, material is cut out from the bottom rail to create feet. With a speed square pull lines angling inward. I used 12 degrees. With a jigsaw, cut precisely into the corner and stop.

Leave plenty of room to freehand a curve to the top line, starting the saw with the blade already inside the existing kerf. Again, saw into the corner and stop. In this case, the top line is sawn left to right.

Cut out the last corner from right to left. Repeat for the second shelf support.

Determine shelf spacing by considering what you'd like the shelves to hold and sketching to achieve your own concept and a visual harmony. Mark the bottom of each shelf across the inside face of the front and back stiles of the shelf supports. In this case, once the bottom shelf is marked out, you can add marks at 13-1/2 inch intervals: 12-1/2" vinyl + 1/4" clearance + 3/4" shelf thickness. 1/4" is a very tight clearance and requires great precision. 1/2" to 1" clearance is preferred.

On the outside face of each stile, mark (+) for drilling 3/8" above the lines marked on the inside face. The back stiles can be drilled in the center, but the front stile should be pulled slightly (~1/8") to the back since the face of each shelf will not fall flush with the front face of the front stiles. If the shelves were deeper than the stiles, they would stick out past and this would not be necessary. Pilots are drilled for a loose fit but leaving plenty of cover to hold screw heads. Then a countersink is used to ensure uniform depth when sinking the screws. Piloting and countersinking can be done in one step if you have an adjustable countersink bit.

Lay out the bookshelf face up and choose where you would like to place each shelf. This is especially important if you use reclaimed materials. A shelf with a defect on the bottom side can be placed near the bottom where it will only be seen while you do yoga. A shelf with a defect on the top side can be placed at the top of a tall bookshelf where it will only be seen every three years when you dust off the ceiling fan and/or chandelier.

Right-handed instructions: Insert a screw fully into the pilot so that the tip is flush with the inside of the front stile. Facing as shown, use the left hand to stabilize the bottom shelf and line up the bottom of the front edge with the mark on the inside of the front stile. Use the right hand to drive the screw in with reasonable force, being sure not to angle the screw in such a way as to blow out on the front, top or bottom of the shelf. Twist the back of the shelf into place with the left hand still on the front edge. You can use a foot to brace the back edge but always be sure to keep hands and feet clear of the area where it is possible for the screw to blow through the shelf unexpectedly. Do this along one side before beginning the other.

Fence slats are laid on their sides to determine the extent of twisting, cupping, bowing or crowning. For this project, crowning would present the largest problem. When laid as shown below, a stiff crown will stand out by raising up in the middle significantly more than adjacent boards. If the crown is placed upside down, the piece will rock like a seesaw. If you encounter a board with a bad crown consider replacing it with a tamer piece of wood. But don't be afraid to force one into place - factory milled wood is never perfectly straight.

Now the entire unit is flipped to face down. Each shelf is already secured with four screws. Remember to lay out the backing in advance before getting too far and noting a problem too late. The application of backing provides cross-bracing and stiffens the positioning of the frame, so be sure you have enough play for adjustments.

TIP: the flange of a speed square can be used to provide a uniform gap between planks. This is very useful when building a deck.

I didn't follow my own advice, centered this gap on the back of the top and bottom shelves, and attached the middle slats before laying out the remaining boards. Since this bookshelf is 2 inches narrower than my last, I need to run the backing without intentional gaps - they must sit tight to avoid ripping down the plank on each outside edge. Good that I caught it when I did - I only had to remove four screws and attach the two boards again with no gap. After the two center boards are on, check the four inside corners for squareness with the speed square. Rack the frame as needed when you attach the third and fourth slats.

Based on the quality of the upcycled wood at my disposal, I decided painting was the best option. I started with a greyish base coat. It was much lighter than it appears in the Goop below.

The base coat is shown in progress. The shelves had previously been hit once with watered down white left over from painting another project earlier.

This is about all I can show of the painting process - don't want to give away my secrets! But seriously, have fun with it, experiment, don't be afraid to take risks. If you don't like the result, you can just paint over it.

Between here and the finished product:
*watery spray (purple gray)
*brush-out
*air spray disturbance
*back spray through the gaps
*heavy orbital sanding
*clear coats

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] j [

Hip Thrift Updates: Nifty table is on the floor.

2012-03-29T01:31:00.000-04:00

Not too long ago, I hinted that I might document the construction of a new bookshelf to be sold at Hip Thrift. It's funny how things get in the way, in this case literally. While I was building the shelves, Amy Williams was sanding down the top of a sweet old wooden table. And then somehow this table ended up back in the middle of the workspace. I thought, "Let me paint this thing and get it out of my way, then I'll paint the shelves . . ."

Well, I still haven't painted the shelves.
The table took on a life of it's own.

I thought, "This is a classic table. I'll paint it white."
Then I thought, "Those little circles could really make it pop," so electric blue.
And then, "The legs look bare now . . ."
"Now the top needs some color," and I speckled it with blue and teal.
And then, inspired by painting outdoors. Above, the raw painting is in progress.

Following that were olive and milky glazes, sanding and distressing, and many layers of clear coat. A worthy picture will find its way here soon, but I brought it into the shop tonight by the light of a streetlamp.

So check back for the finished product in all of its refurbished glory.
___
] j [

>>> daylight

>>> in detail

FOUND: Tiny Legs!

2012-03-19T12:03:00.000-04:00

You may remember my little floor table assembled from uncut upcycled deck board cutoffs.

At the end of that post, I vowed to be vigilant in search of tiny legs to make the table more ergonomic and functional. And vigilant I was.

As evidenced above, I found suitable material quite awhile back. It was the last haul in the old reliable Ford Ranger. These cutoffs were left over from making massive stakes and braces from lineal 2x4s.

I have finally gotten around to Project Tiny Legs, by the simple virtue of procrastination: I was able to put off another project by completing this one! I firmly hold that both designing and making are visual processes, so I always organize available materials visually before selection and layout.

Even for something as simple as attaching three legs, this exercise ensures that I think everything through before I start screwing it all . . . together . . .

With the legs attached, I turn my attention to the final detail: feet. The idea behind a three point base is to avoid rocking, regardless of the levelness of the floor. This is best achieved if the feet can end in a ball joint, allowing 3D rotation, or a single* point. (*theoretically)

Opting for the simpler solution, I used an electric sheet sander to shape the feet. A sanding block or sandpaper would have worked just as well, only taking longer. This could also be done with a chisel, band saw, or jig saw. The curved facet is as close to a single point as it needs to be, ensuring that each leg lands on a relatively small surface area. Since a tangent is preferable to a sharp point, wooden spheres make excellent feet for furniture.

The table takes wing!

Now that I have finished a prototype, I'm itching to make a more refined variation . . .

SOLD!: Harley Davidson FXR Black Death Replica and some funky looking shelves!

2012-03-10T16:56:00.000-05:00

This is great news. As is the case here at CARPEntryDIEM, interest in the actual bike is global.

With the custom FXR already on the way to the buyer, we are certain to 'collaborate' on another Black Death Replica soon, in addition to other bike designs. I use collaboration loosely since my tiny paint job is only the icing on a very badass cake. And I am quite glad Mickey Rourke's goons didn't come to get me.

For no apparent reason, let me now confess my love for FX Series Sons of Anarchy. Over at Hollywood Reporter I read some exciting teaser news about the hit show's upcoming season 5. It couldn't be of much interest if you are not into the show, but my revelation may explain the sudden enthusiasm for working with a custom motorcycle fabricator . . . even a tangential involvement in bike production has always been a fantasy for me, kind of like being a NYC bike messenger.

Today was full of great news. My bookshelf at Hip Thrift also sold, unpainted.

On Monday I plan to build another with similar properties, after a round of wood scouring down by the river. The next one will probably get paint on the shelves to pretty them up a little bit. Today was a sidewalk event at Hip Thrift with live music and putt putt and treats for the kids. I dropped by and it was definitely hopping.

Is anyone interested in having the next bookshelf fully documented as a tutorial? Please let me know.
___
] j [

Back to Familiar Territory

2012-03-04T00:14:00.000-05:00

Well a week on St. Thomas was just what the doctor ordered - thanks Mom! We had some epic long-snorkels and adventures every day on land as well. If there is enough interest I could post a detailed log of our days and hopefully get the pictures uploaded from Mom's camera . . .

Great New Development: I have linked up with Amy of Hip Thrift in West Asheville to create reclaimed furniture on sale for consignment! My first piece, a simple bookshelf, is on the floor now. If it doesn't sell soon, Amy will apply her trademark painting flair. More furniture is on the way . . .

Amy and I went down by the river to collect discarded wood. We had to pass up plenty of boards that were just too old to use. By far the biggest catch was a ravaged fence that clearly was not getting back up before becoming music for earthworms. It's perfect as a backing material, which stabilizes shelving and keeps things from falling down between a bookshelf and the wall.

I found this old shelf stock in the basement. I never asked from whence it came but I suspect it was installed somewhere in the shop before Amy launched her amazing Hip Thrift. Odd detail: 1-1/2" x 1/4" flats nailed as nosing on 1x12 dimensional lumber. I decided to flip that nosing onto the back of each shelf.

Now this is where it's at! A 6-1/2 foot tall bi-fold closet door with slats will be used as stiles to support the shelves. First I stripped all of the hardware, saving it for future projects of course.

I cut down the shelves to a uniform length, 30".

Out of the thick bottom rails of the closet doors I used a jigsaw to create legs.

(The fencing required no cuts, always a good feeling)

The final piece measures approximately 32"w x 79"h x 12"d.

Come to Hip Thrift to check out more by me and some very talented local artists and artisans.

201 Haywood Rd

Asheville, NC 28806

828.423.0853

(see more simple handmade wood projects here )

WARNING: Imminent Departure

2012-02-14T00:16:00.000-05:00

Not only am I leaving the country (sort of) on a top secret mission involving snorkeling, I have also left the realm of wood and woodworking for this post.

This is ostensibly the original custom motorcycle 'Black Death 3' from the epically bad Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man starring Mickey Rourke and Don Johnson, albeit in an aged and distressed condition. While the 1991 flop is considered by some to be a cult classic, it only caught my attention in Middle School for one reason: The Marlboro Man (Don Johnson) defeats the bad-guy by virtue of the fact that his cowboy boots are held together with duct tape. So yeah, I only remember the ending. The heavily modified 1989 Harley Davidson FXR however, is indisputably a cult classic in its own right.

Many bike enthusiasts want to feel like they own this bike so there have been a lot of working replicas created over the years, fan-made like the one pictured above, for sale by independents at bike shows, and commercially licensed with the lettering reading "BLACK DEATH MOTORCYCLES." The latter were sanctioned by Mickey Rourke himself, who is a long time cycle enthusiast and serious rider with rumored ties to the Hell's Angels.

Norman Plombe of Eastern Tennessee is building one now for a bike show in Florida, and he approached me about doing the artwork on the gas tank. I've never painted on a curved surface like this before so it was bound to be a challenge. After a lot of figuring and discussing our ways and means, we agreed that Norm would supply the tank with rough blocking and I would work from there.

Here the tank is detached from the mommy bike and begins its young affection for washing machines. This is how I received the tank. There were problems at the sign shop where he had his stencil made and the font is really not adequate. But I don't back down from a challenge, even when it needs to go from that to this:

This is a screencap from the movie, so I'm just waiting for the MGM goons to come and break my kneecaps tomorrow.

I started with the yellow outlines to begin correcting the proportions of the lettering, and then painted in the white linework over light pencil in the center of each letter. Comparing this to the original it is very clear that there should be a lot more space inside the letters. Also, the basic shape of some of the letters is just too far off to pass, so I use the yellow to morph them as much as I can.

The layout and spacing were actually well-done, but Norm assumed I would be working inward, when in fact I plan on moving outward. This presents a major problem; above you can see how tight my spacing is already and I still have a black outline to apply as well. Again, I use the yellow to smush things around as needed.

It's starting to get chunkier and take on the form of the original, and I'm ready for the black to bring it on home. It goes on smooth but I need to do a lot of touching up and then make the outline super-thick for that final punch. I'll be using marker for a lot of that and it doesn't flow well over tacky enamel. As expected, the 72 hour window is a bit of a crunch . . . while I wait for everything to dry it's time to move on to the centerpiece. I start by penciling it in:

The initials painted on BD3 are rumored to be deceased individuals connected to Mickey and/or Hell's Angels. Conventional wisdom says to alter them and also not to use those of anyone still living. This is why family got some phone calls asking for the given names of some Great-grandparents who died while I was young or in-utero. With penciling complete, I can go from primarily using One Shot enamel professional sign paint to a high-grade paint marker for detailing and touch-ups.

TIP1: you can shave down the tip of a marker for a finer point but it will wear down pretty quickly and as you whittle away you may end up with no tip at all. TIP2: Tips on refillable paint markers are removable, making it much easier to shape them as desired. TIP3: If you can't find the handle to your big fat #2 Xacto blades, and you are forced to push a blade down with your index finger, be sure that the blade edge points down, not up, or you may slice into the tip of your finger:

That was grand. At least I didn't get blood on the tank. We don't need doctors — Richard Gurley Drew invented adhesive tape in 1923 (no offense, Mom).

So it's really close to finished as pictured here. I think after this I did another round of touch-ups and made the black outlines even thicker. Norm should be sending nice high-res images soon, and at some point a few pics of the final product, of which I am but a crumb.

The jokers were fun. Here they are somewhere in the neighborhood of life-sized.

Rest In Peace
9♦John and Jean Runyon
8♥Frank Deegan
8♣Bessie-Mae Runyon
8♦Jack Hess
8♠Dorothy Hess
A♦Joe Strummer
A♥You (we all go some time)
A♠John R. Cash

Nicholas Eilenfield

Outhouse Rocker!?

2012-02-08T01:18:00.000-05:00

Fig. 1: Thirty-five dollars worth of good will inside a polyhedron

I ventured into a Goodwill in Asheville a few weeks ago, in search of pots and pans and work jeans. Yeah, it's like that - no shame. A very nice fellow customer pointed me around to the back, where he said I could find pots and pans even cheaper. Sounds shady, right? Well it is not. Turns out this particular Goodwill has a spectacular bulk wing where you purchase items by the pound!

Here's my haul:
*the shallowest frying pan I've ever seen
*2 qt sauce pan
*venting pot lid (without matching pot)
*nifty wooden cutting board by Crestwood - not moldy, score!
*spatula with lathed wooden handle
*five foot length of metal tube with threaded endcap both ends
*two foot by eight foot light beige carpet remnant for feet wipe and shoe storage
*purple folding clip-on motorcycle passenger seat (perfect for table sans legs)

*two VHS tapes for the kids: "The Steam Locomotive" ca. 1940 & the beyond silly "Wee Sing in Sillyville" (passed on Braveheart as I don't own VCR or TV)
*computer speakers
*stereo & unmatched speakers, i.e. top of the line GPX stereo w/ speakers by peerless brand Venturer
*rocking chair customized for use in the OUTHOUSE!!!***

*neato zipper sunglass case perfect for protecting work glasses
*three pairs work jeans that fit
*pimpalicious brown leather jacket that fits
*plastic Darth Vader helmet

Fig. 2: Darth Shaft wuz here

*** Okay, the rocking chair is probably not custom designed for use in the outhouse, but that tiny seed of possibility is positively thrilling! What we have is, I believe, a vintage factory-milled hand-assembled rocking chair, likely 60s, maybe early 70s or unlikely late 50s, quite sturdy and well-made. Factory markings or pasted slips are absent. The fresh wood you see from the top view is crudely screwed on from the bottom, clearly not original and fueling my desire that this is actually a rocking plopper. However, it did come with a medallion of pressed paperboard, visible under the Vader Helm in Fig. 2, suggesting a missing insert panel.

I will remove the tacked on plywood scab and get to the bottom of this . . .
] rimshot [
. . . seriously, I will conduct some carpentry forensics to see how an insert panel may have been attached originally. If anyone has run across a perfect specimen please comment your findings below.
___
] j [

ps - no offense to any actual pimps out there, or to anyone who has been pimped or otherwise adversely affected by a pimp. Please allow that 'pimp' is a new bastardized verb and adjective creeping into our silly language. Expect it in Webster's by 2020, courtesy of MTV.

Get in the Groove - Chainsaw Talk

2012-01-29T22:52:00.000-05:00

I couldn't resist featuring this post from Anna and Mark's WaldenEffect.org

Do it yourself plank production?

"When we first got our 039 Stihl chainsaw we also got a ripping chain with a special adjustable guide that connects to the chainsaw body. The guide helps to make even cuts when you want to make planks from a tree.

I think we cut a total of 15 planks from a pine tree that were each about 2 feet long. They worked good for our foot bridge, but the process was not easy.

We decided making our own planks was a bit too complex for our skill level, but if you've got the time and a remote location that makes delivery a challenge then maybe a chainsaw mill is an option worth considering."

Follow the title link to check out a valuable conversation thread in the comments.

] j [

Working Wood for Gaynor

2012-01-26T19:30:00.000-05:00

2010 was ages ago! For many months I took on the role of doting handyman in Williamsburg, Brooklyn for my dear friend Gaynor and her two ageless Siamese cats, Oyster and Sosumi (named by an attorney). I was connected to Gaynor through the eccentric artist and conservation botanist Bill Moye, who some readers are bound to know.

I have chosen a couple of highlight projects, with photos furnished by resident Williamsburg woodworker Japheth March. In addition to the projects below I repaired furniture, doors, frames, windows, sills, screens, storm windows, sheds and sculptures; installed AC units in both vinyl and wood window openings; installed industrial metal shelving; replaced a vintage mail slot and light fixtures; weatherproofed a neighbor's faulty retaining wall; insulated the rear wall of the building adjacent to the mechanical room; cleared ancient doors, paint cans, debris and small corpses from the back yard; planted and transplanted various plants; and performed quite a few other sundry tasks . . .

Upstairs and downstairs radiator covers were built on the cheap from hardwood planks in a rustic style matching the detailed settling of the rest of the house. The uncovered radiators had previously been a cause for annoyance under the kitchen table and behind the headboard of Gaynor's bed. Apparently, the cats greatly enjoy the new heated surfaces, which do a proper job of dispersing heat rather than having it collect all in one place.

The tree surround and planter box were also rustic budget projects, assembled with minimal lengths of treated lumber. My only regret was that I paid too little attention to the fasteners used in the tree surround, but functionality was our main concern. As opposed to the previous tree surround which was easily pushed around by cars attempting to parallel park, the one is deeply anchored, set on stone and brick, and not going anywhere. It was also expanded to give more room to the typically constricted roots of a suffering Brooklyn sidewalk tree. Both the original planter and tree surround appeared fittingly weathered and eroded. I tried my best to impart this look upon the new pieces while ensuring a long lifespan.

Neither of these projects made use of reclaimed material. Unfortunately, time does not always allow for us to be choosy about the wood we use. Now that I have a little workshop, I am on the lookout for wood to reclaim for use in future endeavors. If you run across wasting wood in Asheville, please let me know!
___
] j [

EDIT: outdoor projects are heavily treated with Japheth's patented secret blend of Turpentine and Linseed Oil.

Don't Let This Happen to YOU!

2012-01-19T20:25:00.000-05:00

Sunday I was on the way to pick up my mother's chainsaw from ACE Hardware in Weaverville. If you don't know this already, Ed is the man! He can fix anything and he knows how to do it cheap and easy. Fast, cheap and easy should be impossible [2/3 law] but he had the repairs done in 48 hours.

Where was I? Right, on the way to pick up the chainsaw . . . and just around the corner form my driveway I notice a veritable tragedy that I have passed day after day.

Of course on weekdays I am never home during daylight hours so I have an excuse, but still I wish I had known about this sooner. What's that? Just looks like an ordinary home, with an odd painterly aspect to the photo? Okay, here is a closeup of that big fuzzy space taking up half of the front yard:

Don't let this happen to you! Someone somewhere near you will certainly take away your dead wood for free before it goes to rot! If you don't know anyone, tell me and if I can't come and get it myself, I will find someone for you!

I had a horrible imagining . . . back to the first image with the dumpster trailer in the foreground: there is a little orange loop sitting on the porch roof. Without the aid of a super-expensive sawdust filter, you can clearly see that this is a power-cord attached to some sort of power-tool, a drill if memory serves. I checked yesterday and the drill is still up there on the roof, after at least one night of heavy rain. So I imagine: this homeowner cuts down the tree early in the fall of 2009, then moves up to a project on the roof, and falls to an untimely death in the back yard. A total recluse living off the grid and having property taxes paid up years in advance, no one is the wiser as feral cats and squirrels feed off of the body until nothing remains but a pile of bones covered in crunchy leaves. Oh, and thus the tree rots in the front yard.

There are more likely explanations as to why a rotted out tree cut into two sections would be filling half of the front yard. 1) This tree was 'recently' felled, but was already rotting from the inside. 2) This is a serious procrastinator who is constantly promising to get to it later. Obviously it is a combination of the two (or my twisted story) — who leaves a drill attached to a power cord on the roof for four days in the rain?

How can you tell your tree is dead or dying? A) It will stop producing leaves. B) Large sections of bark may be peeling away / eaten away by tiny bugs or mold. If this happens, find someone who can take care of it for you. Like I said, if you know someone with a CHAINSAW they might do it FOR NEXT TO NOTHING, especially if the wood is nice and thus valuable to someone WHO IS A WOODWORKER WITH POWER TOOLS. And also especially if they already owe you a favor for the time you babysat their kids and also that other time they picked you up from the hospital [HINT Sloan and Kat].

UPDATE:

I don't think anyone died!
On Friday the trailer was gone.
Today the power cord is gone.
The rotten dead tree is still there
but my morbid imagination was clearly working overtime . . .

] j [

Farewell to a Wonderful Workhorse

2012-01-17T21:18:00.000-05:00

Well I did promise a post about my MVA (motor vehicle accident). Can you tell I've been on the phone a lot with an insurance claim adjustor?

As I mentioned in an earlier post, I did borrow this wonderful workhorse my mother's Ford Ranger from time to time for travel and moving things, including wood.

Someone misread an exit from the highway and in a panic did jerk and swerve right into my path and that is all she wrote. Knowing the age of the vehicle and seeing the damage firsthand, I can say with confidence that the offending driver's insurance company will junk it and opt to pay book, rather than springing for some very costly repairs.

Thankfully, even at six in the wee, my reflexes were primed at NYC bike messenger level and both of us were 'unhurt.' Unhurt despite the crazy moments when I crunched the tail of the car and charged upon its whirling donut dance. Somehow we both skidded to the right shoulder completely out of the way of cars coming in behind us. And yet somehow traffic on the highway we had just exited eventually reached a 45 minute delay. [This I learned from the receptionist at my new chiropractor! Oh, the irony.]

Kat was an angel and picked me up from the hospital and also took me out to empty personal effects.
Wipe away a tear.
Diagnosis: Whiplash

Pain is minor but still lingers and obviously doesn't mix well with my line of work. 48 hours later was the worst of it, as predicted.

I eat a ton of ibuprofen.

The chiropractor is recommending treatment far beyond my means: i.e. I can't afford to miss as many days from work.
Oh! His name is Dr. Bart at River Ridge Chiropractic and he is exceptional.
http://www.ncashevillechiropractor.com/blog/

At present, the insurance company has furnished us with a rental. I won't say what it is, but it looks like a clown car, is bright white, and is named after a platonic solid.

EDIT: High Res Images from Kat

Secret Obsession: Reclaiming Cutoffs

2012-01-12T21:35:00.000-05:00

It sounds like I'm talking about making a new pair of shorts, but I'm not.
That's fun too - my best pair of cutoffs used to be black corduroy pants.
In carpentry, cutoffs are scraps left over from a project, usually cut from dimensional lumber like two-bys or decking boards. The most exciting scraps come from larger lumber and timbers.
(bookshelf from found wood)

(Interesting . . . not only is my phone filled with sawdust -note fuzzballs- it has also started suffering from some serious data transfer disturbances. YAY!)

So, I'm eying a stack of material by the driveway behind my new apartment, cutoffs from a deck project. With only a drafting table and no chair
I need to build a floor-sitting table for reading, eating, writing, and surfing.
A three-point base is best since reclaimed material is often irregular.
Additional challenge: use the scraps as found - no cutting or sanding allowed.

On closer inspection the wood is older and moldier than expected.
Even so, digging around yields results.
I come away with only an armload and leave the rest to the elements
(or someone more desperate than myself).
Some of the pieces I've chosen have tiny mold spots, but these boards are pressure treated so a wipe-down with mineral spirits should keep spores at bay.
Turpentine and other solvents are great for cleaning off dirt, grease and grime.
Plus they penetrate and then evaporate to expel much of the moisture gathered while sitting outside.
Downside: this also off-gases the harmful chemicals from your material
and of course the solvents themselves are mild neurotoxins.
I soak the endgrains and knotholes in case critters have gone in to lay eggs.
After the very thorough cleaning, I arrange the boards into a rough design layout.

"I love it when a plan comes together!"

—Colonel John 'Hannibal' Smith, The A-Team

I've banned cutting and the only leftover is 72" long, so finish nails are out of the question without material for nailers or blocking.

Pilots and countersinks are drilled to receive screws.

Assembly provides a few hiccups but I get through it.

Technology failure continues to haunt me: the NiCad batteries are finally showing signs of memory burn and hold almost no charge at all.

Looks like I need to buy a new drill and upgrade to Lithium Ion.

Now I have a place to sit and eat oatmeal at 5:30 every morning!

EDIT:
It's a better bench than a table. Tiny legs are in order; I will be vigilant.
Carpe lignum!

Wood Speaks

2012-01-10T20:56:00.000-05:00

Thanks for peeking into my headspace. It is mostly about wood and making anything with found material, but really it is about all that we can make with our own hands.

Wood speaks to me the most. Trees are the anthropomorphs of the plant kingdom. Like us, they break the plane of the horizon until they eventually fall and meet it, and then decompose into the same soil that we will also make of our lives. They reach and explore in every direction, seek sunlight and food and water, and express endless varieties of emotions within their forms.

Dead wood is not really dead; it carries a living memory and the alive potential to be transformed by a force of nature, be that the sea or the human hand. Sometimes wood tells us what it wants to be. Sometimes I think I know what it wants to be, only to realize that it's all in my head. With patience, misunderstood wood will be heard correctly at a later time. So yes, "seize the wood" when you find it, but also think on it. Give the wood time to speak to you.

I left Brooklyn needing time to decompress and get my head straight. My mother invited me to stay for awhile on her land South of Jefferson, NC. Several projects awaited my arrival, but I was most excited about a tree that had suffered complete erosion of the bark around its base. Having lost its connection with nurturing soil, this tree was now dead and ready to be transformed!

My mother noted that the tree was old, and described its location along the sloping pasture behind her house. With so many unknowns, my head swam in the potential of this mysterious tree now large and dead. I imagined a tall straight poplar, the common specimen on that corner of her property. I imagined razing it down to the height of a man and, centered upon that tall stump, forming the cuttings into a jungle gym with a secret room where my children would lay plans of mischief over visits to Oba's House.

I was a little disappointed to find that it was not a poplar but an apple tree, old indeed and large as they go with a 6 inch diameter, nine foot spread and a 13 foot crown. After the initial letdown, I decided it should be made into sculpture. I drew the apple in the twilight. I ran through a few ideas and sketched one out. To be honest, I was never wholly inspired. Also, I sensed that my mother wouldn't have the patience for me to play around with it when there were more important tasks at hand: barns to be mended, moldy palettes to be taken to the dump, new recycled palettes to be fetched and laid down, holes to be dug for soil testing, stones to be cleared from a field and hay to be unloaded, loaded, transported, unloaded and loaded again on three separate occasions.

In the end, I didn't make anything of the apple tree by November when I found work in Asheville. I left several projects unstarted or unfinished and I became a framing carpenter. Working my new grueling 9 to 5 (in bed by nine to wake at five) time passed quickly and Thanksgiving was fast approaching. Having borrowed the Ford Ranger for travel, I eventually heard what the wood should be - it wanted to be taken to Wortroot, for the Solstice bonfire. Wortroot is wonderful farmland with a holler and a storied past, laying across state lines just North of Blountville, not far from Bristol. It is now the site of a Winter Solstice tradition for our ever-expanding 'family,' a community that has been cultivated for decades in the foothills and mountains of Tennessee, Virginia and North Carolina.

The day after Thanksgiving my son, seven, helped with the felling while my daughter, three, watched from a tiny yellow plastic chair. We started by taking down the dimensions of the tree and truck bed, deciding on acceptable overhangs, and trimming down reachable branches. For all cutting we used the Japanese-inspired Vaughan Bear Saw, which slices on the pull stroke for greater control and a very narrow kerf. This makes it a great learning saw for children. My son insisted that we wear safety goggles. He was thrilled to give the final push and shout, "Timber!"

I remembered previous Solstices with big sprawling burnpiles, mostly cleared brush with some large timbers crossing the middle. I envisioned planting the apple tree upright in the center of a pyre to deliver it's final performance and to fall to the earth one last time in spectacular fashion. Considerable effort was made to leave the tree as whole as possible while still safe enough for highway travel.

The burnpile this year was set closer to the house, more compact and vertical. It was nearly as tall as the largest section of the tree! Once again my vision was compromised but I was content knowing that the wood would be pleased to burn in the fire regardless of my silly ideas. I leaned the main sections up against one side of the pile and spread around the branch cuttings. That night, flames leapt high above the house and Solstice was, as always.