Carrie Goes to Kilimanjaro

Pieces of Me... July

2010-07-16T23:02:00.000-04:00

Hello July. It's been months since I've written a post and thought about adjusting the privacy settings to just me, but I thought better of it.

And so for July...

I like...
... the sunshiney weather and clear blue skies out here in San Diego.
... That my Dad came to visit and I got to hang out with him for a whole week.
... things have fallen into place and I feel whole again.

I don't like...
... The bitter hotness on my sunkissed shoulders at the moment.
... That I'm missing a beach day tomorrow.
... That I miss my dad already... He just left 8 hours ago.

I want you to know...
... that I'm happy. And relieved to be so at long last.

I've planned...
... to make my volunteer trip at the end of this year. More details later!
... a trip back home in September, where I'll get to see practically my whole family.
... To move again soon.

I want to say to someone special...
... Nothing at all.

Tear stained pillow cases

2010-05-10T01:57:00.000-04:00

Tear stained pillow cases and swollen eyes give me away. It kills me
to let you see me cry, but cry, I will.

It's the cold and lonely nights such as this, that I miss you. My
mom, who can make anything better instantly. And my dad, who can pull
apart the well-built walls around my heart. My sisters sweet smiles
and knowing eyes.

Those that know me best, know I'll keep you out no matter the cost.
And a high cost it seems I've paid. I'd give nearly anything just to
be hugged for an instant, and a stroke of my hair telling me that
every little thing is fine. To sleep in the comfort of a friends
embrace. A pat on the hand to reassure.

Today, I miss you.

Petite billet doux (little love notes)

2010-04-09T00:53:00.001-04:00

Dear Africa,

I wish I could come visit. Why do you have to be so dangerous?

Dear allergies,

I'm grateful for what I've been gifted in life, but allergic to the yellow fever vaccine... Really?

Dear San Diego,

I finally feel like myself again. I have you to thank for that.

Dear Little Italy,

I like your little neighborhood. I mean, MY little neighborhood.

Dear new job,

I like that I made my own hours, my bosses appreciate me, my salary is perfect, that I basically have the run of the town, and my accounts love me already. Plus, being able to walk to work is a HUGE bonus.

Dear Mama,

I miss hanging out with you and talking forever into the night. I am so grateful that I was able to spend 4 weeks with you. I wish you were here to see my new place, but I know that when you come visit, you'll absolutely love it!

Dear Dad,

I miss you. I'm sorry that my move wasn't planned better. There's no time like the present and there's no point in waiting it out. I'm happy here, but I miss you a whole awful lot.

Dear little sister,

Sorry I couldn't explain it better or wait any longer. I hope that one day you'll understand the why's and how's of it all... And in the meantime, just know that I miss my best friend and really wish I could drive across the bridge to see you right now.

Dear Allisen,

I miss hanging out and wish, now more than ever, that I'd spent more time coming to visit. I hope you'll visit me soon.(and maybe stay?)

Dear Michelle,

I am so glad that we've come back into eachothers lives. I forgot how much I missed you and I'm so grateful to you for needing me as much as I need you right now.

Dear blog friends,

I don't have Internet yet, but I promise to update more and catch up on what I've missed as soon as I do.

xx Carrie

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

a little note

2010-03-13T18:26:00.000-05:00

Last time I wrote, I had just arrived in Las Vegas. I had a great time, but more on that another time. I might be away from blogger for a few more days...

I just wanted to fill you in on some big news.

After the tradeshow in Las Vegas, I drove down to San Diego with Michelle and her little family to hang out for a few days before heading back to NY.

All you really need to know (and I'll get more into it later, I'm sure...) is that after being in San Diego for a few days, I felt like I could breathe.

Literally, yes,

but also,

just starting in a new place where no one knows you at all.

I've decided to stay in San Diego for awhile.

I like breathing, after all.

without going too far into it, this is what I need to do for me.

for now.

for those of you that have been so understanding and supportive,

I thank you - it means the world to me.

for those of you that I've hurt,

know that this is best for me, for now.

talk soon!

Pieces of me... March

2010-03-01T13:30:00.011-05:00

And for March... here goes...

I like...

... that as I'm writing this.. I'm in Vegas.

... that for the next few days, I'll get to hug my niece & nephew & my sweet sister all I want
(and right now, little Celina is in my lap asleep.)

... text messages.

I don't like...

... seriously heavy snow.

... my car being damaged from the collapse of the carport, thanks to said snow.

... leaving my Dad in NY to clean up the carport mess and without power for who knows how long?

I want you to know...

... I'm most likely postponing my volunteer trip for a few months.

There have been road blocks at every turn

( I guess that means I'll have to explain it all in a post soon, huh?),

and it seems like someone just might be trying to tell me something.

Believe you, me... not in any way cancelled.. just postponed a month or two..

I'm thinking June.

I've planned...

... some fabulous ideas for trips to hold me over until June.

... a high possibility of a sisterly adventure in April.

... to get a job.

I want to say to someone special...

... hi.

a winter wonderland...

2010-03-01T10:12:00.000-05:00

{this was actually written on Friday morning (02/26/2010) but could not be published for lack of internet}

Our snow storm started yesterday morning. We've had some snowfall so far this winter. But it's been nothing compared to those of you south of us... Virginia, DC, Jersey, North Carolina... even Georgia!

We've had winters where we've gotten this much snow.

But all at once?

Really Mother Nature?

Necessary?

I think NOT.

We thought we would be okay in all this snow.

Until the power & phone went out around 5pm Thursday.

Yep... just in time for nightfall. So, as I was multi-tasking between my Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, ebay, & etsy...

power outage.

and then the phone lines were dead.

Oh - did I mention that I live in a cabin in the middle of the deep dark wood?

When the power goes out here, it means...

no electricity (obv),

no heat,

(save for the woodstove, which we... ok Dad.. had to dig out the woodpile after all of the snow)

no water (septic tank, hello?),

no internet/cable

and spotty cell service

(we basically live in a hole where cell phone service requires you to hold your cell phone high up in the air with one hand while standing on one foot and praying for a signal as you walk from one end of the house to the other, standing by the windows and wondering if signals can travel through log walls...)

So in the midst of all of this - Dad & I get our gear on and trudge up the mile (seven tenths of a mile, to be exact)-long private road to check and see if the rest of the neighbors are in the same boat.

Yes. All of them. Same deal.

(some do have generators, but come on..)

So on our walk back home... we actually have to navigate through fallen trees on the road

(yes, they fell in the 15-20 minutes whilst chatting up the neighborhood)

So, in addition to all of the snow...

this is what I woke up to this morning...

"heavy duty" carport

our poor trucks...

roof rack is gone. tires are being squished... roof is a lot closer to the floor now...

(dad's is worse)

carport leaning on my poor sweet jeep.

snowblower was saved by the jeep...

dad.. fixing the snowblower..

with duct tape, a wire hanger & a spike.

(he's a ranger... what can I say?)

oh, yes... that's the carport. You can see the shed behind it...

but that has just sunk into the ground... not collapsed.

And so far... the roof has held steady.

I count my blessings that no one was hurt,

and I pray that I can make it to the airport somehow for my seven AM flight to Vegas tomorrow...

tweet tweet

2010-02-25T15:32:00.000-05:00

so I have finally joined the bandwagon....

I joined Twitter!!

follow me - cpfeftravel

isn't that name cute?

Thanks Jac for the help!

spontaneous combustion

2010-02-23T19:32:00.000-05:00

Have you ever felt so much excitement you just feel like you're going to explode?

I have.

A lot lately.

maybe too much?

is there a such thing as 'too much'?

I mean, if it's exciting, you might as well get all worked up about it right?

Well, let me tell you what made me feel so much giddiness that I happy-danced around the house awhile...

I was chatting to my sweet sister, Michelle,

(you know, the one that lives in San Diego with my darling niece & nephew?)

she was having a tough week -

they have a WHOLE lot going on right now -

and mentioned that she wished I was around for sanity & company.

Well, that got me to thinking...

(and that's always dangerous)

I really want to see them again soon.

(and no, when I move there in July is not soon enough)

They have a couple of trade shows coming up

at the end of February
(next week)

AND a store opening the first weekend in March.

Well, the shows are in Vegas.

And then they are driving back to San Diego for the opening...

And Vegas is on my list...

(it might not have been on the 2010 Intentions list,

but it is definately on the life list.)

So guess what?

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

I'm going to Vegas ((!!!!!!))

and then back to San Diego to pop bottles with my sis for her grand opening!!

I'm making moves.

and so then Patton says....

2010-02-21T23:58:00.000-05:00

*disclaimer: personal alert*

"The time to take counsel of your fears is before you make an important battle decision. That's the time to listen to every fear you can imagine! When you have collected all the facts and fears and made your decision, turn off all your fears and go ahead!" —General George S. Patton, Jr.

After a chat with my dad (thanks, btw) and some reassurances, I've decided that I will post about this and you don't have to read it if you don't want to, but I need to write it. I'm writing everything.

All of it.

I'm not a crier. in any sense. But I'm feeling a little weepy tonight.

ok, maybe not weeeeeepy.. but definately teary-eyed.

There are certain people in my life that have this inane ability to look at me and if I have any sort of sadness in my heart, I will immediately burst into tears.

Not kidding.

and not pretty, either.

It's actually quite annoying.

Especially if you've just driven 11 hours with your sister only to stop in and see an old friend and can barely speak in his direction let alone make eye-contact for fear (yeah, it scares me) of losing it.

{long story, different story, more on that at some point down the line, maybe.}

I've learned that the key to this is eye-contact.

It should be avoided at all costs when feeling sad,

helpless,

{insert name of another useless-in my humble opinion-and unavoidable emotion here}

etc.

you get the point.

so tonight, as my Dad was so kindly saying good-night, what did I do?

slipped up and looked him in the eye..

yep.

tear central.

so here's what's up...

I haven't written much in the last week

every time that I sit down to write,

I go blank.

So here goes.

I am scared. nervous. apprehensive. second-guessing myself.

I feel lost.

I feel alone.

Even in the midst of a packed room, I feel alone.

I am trying to think happy thinks.

I amuse myself with happy blog-posts that others have written.

I busy myself with plans of cleaning and baking and cooking, and all around, just not at home time.

I've become addicted (seriously, not a good thing) to my iphone.

{Words with Friends, anyone? - I have 13 games going right now.}

I surround myself with people.

I volunteer my weekend to hang out with a four-year old (did have fun, btw).

I try to block out the bad thoughts.

The ones telling me that what I'm doing is crazy.

That I need a job.

that grown ups don't do this.

grown ups don't give everything up and make huge decisions based on whims.

then I chide myself, because obv, this is not a whim.

I am not whimsical.

I'm spontaneous, yes.

whimsical, no.

I want to wake up every day with a purpose.

I know, right now, my calling in Africa in less than 30 days, but I'm talking long run here.

Please keep in mind that I haven't worked in... (oh, since, November 13th, 2009)

yeah, seriously, three months. That's it.

And I've had big things going on in those three months.

But what I long for is not the job I left,

it's not the 9-5 routine of conventionality {is that even a word?}.

I want to do something that reminds me on a daily basis why I go to work.

I want to travel.

I want to know in my heart that I make a difference.

I want to experience different cultures.

I want to learn more about people.

I want to share my experiences with writing.

or photos.

or postcards.

or stories.

Problem is... what kind of job does that???

Poa kichizi kama ndizi

2010-02-21T15:21:00.000-05:00

I've been studying up on my kiSwahili.

And this phrase made me laugh out loud.

Poa kichizi kama ndizi

go ahead, say it out loud...

I'll help you...

poh-ah

ki-kee-zee

kah-mah

nah-dee-zee

translation?

cool like a crazy banana.

yay for Friday!

2010-02-19T11:50:00.000-05:00

Just secured my seat to volunteer abroad with Cross Cultural Solutions in Tanzania. My sponsors so far have been amazing, and I am so grateful for your help with this. If you'd still like to donate, I'll be hosting an additional fundraiser next month so that I can extend my trip to teach conversational english and care for orphaned infants and young children diagnosed and affected by HIV and AIDS.

snowy day

2010-02-16T11:18:00.000-05:00

{via the amazingly talented}

More snow today...

therefore, today is a day I'm doing all the little things around the house

(including working on a guest post for Krissa)

that I have put off for the last week

(and have been left undone while away for the prior 3)

chores, updates, basic organizing, unpacking..

thank you Mother Nature, for forcing me to do this.

In the meantime, for your viewing pleasure,

please click here

to read the post that my one of my new blog-sister's (Krissa)
has guested for our Desi.

I believe... in love

2010-02-15T05:45:00.001-05:00

*this is a new series that I'm trying out entitled, 'I Believe..."

I hope you love it as much as I do already!*

I believe in love.

love at first sight.

love at first kiss.

everlasting love.

new love.

old love.

young love.

true love.

self love.

I believe in first loves that turn in to last loves.

that two people are made for one another.

I believe in marriage.

and having babies.

{lots of babies} with the one you love.

I believe in happy ever after.

I believe that love finds you when you stop looking.

I believe in putting yourself out there.

I believe in falling in love.

falling so hard it hurts.

I believe that love can make you.

and love can break you.

love can lift you up.

and love can bring you down.

I believe that when you fall in love,

it's forever.
I believe in fall-down,
head over heels,
heart-pounding,
mind blowing,
goofy smile,
playful,
honest love.
I believe in love.

and how could I not add in my favorite {ever} song...

Do you believe in love?

Deliciously Luvy Duvy

2010-02-14T15:10:00.000-05:00

This is a guest post by a lovely lady (you can go check her out here) that I was fortunate enough to meet through a blogging project - The Sisterhood of the Blogosphere (see button at left for more info).

post & photos from 'Americanising Desi,' captions by me.

much love to you on Valentine's Day!

xx, Carrie

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I am truly humbled that Carrie permitted me to go all crazy with my posting as a guest post on her blog. I actually love it already. The little twinkle in my eye is much sharper and as the chimes ring to call it love love love, I am beginning to step back and be in love with something in my imagination, something that is so far from my reach and yet the fuzzy warm feeling in my heart makes me wanna embrace him for eternity. Okay shush! This is not my blog and hence no quotes of boredom. I'd like to introduce myself as 'Luvy Duvy Libra' because there is no other way to this. I was born out of love and to date, after the many mishaps in relationships of all kinds, I still have so much love that it is insane!

The delicious notion of love has been interpreted for many years on the face of this planet. I loved the Shakespearean era though; there is nothing that makes me tickle like the Mid Summer Night's Dream or Romeo and Juliet. I don’t want to be those characters but love does end before anything else does in this darn materialistic world. I haven’t had any valentines to date. I am that sour of a woman and perhaps that ugly too. I see these decked up girls with really weird guys all blushing and romancing and showering presents and I envy it all. Hence I stay home and don’t spill a tear about it. So what if 27 years were in vain, I could always hope the next 27 (if I live that long) are filled with valentine every day. My aim to post here is to spill some delicious stuff that will make your heart moan and your mouth water and some might want to kill me, but please have a heart and let me pour some sweet things all over so that you may bathe with ecstasy!

I've never been able to put together,

how you simply make, me float like a feather.

Its so amazing, how our love glooms,

its like an unending, honeymoon.

It feels as strong tonight,

as the very day, when it first took flight.

It still feels just like the first kiss,

an amazing feeling; emotional bliss.

It still feels, like the first night together,

Only one thing Hun, its getting better.

Like the first time our eyes met,

its the same feeling that I still get.

We just keep getting closer baby,

Can't EVER get close enough.

Please believe that this is true,

all I ever want is to be able to love you.

Our love just keeps getting stronger,

which makes me want, to just love you longer.

It feels like our first touch,

We never expected, a thing as such.

If there's one thing that I depend on,

It is for us, to remain strong.

And we're still holding on,

and you my love, are still the one.

It still feels like our first date,

every second with you, just feels so great.

Its things like your bright smile, & shining eyes,

that make me the luckiest, of all the guys.

The one thing that I am sure of,

Is that you and I, are TRUE love.

And there could not be a better time,

than now; day of Valentine.

To show the world what they miss,

because they will never, match this.

We seem to have something out of this earth,

Lets always see it, for what its worth.

p.s. i read it and i couldn't help share it!

My words for you lonely and helpless souls out there is, 'there is so much love inside you, you don't have to look around to express it, just dont hold any sour memories and pamper yourself cuz you all are so worth it :)'

Bless you!

She used to wear her heart on her sleeve,

but she found it felt safer pinned to his collar.

He always thought the sunset on the coast was beautiful,

until the day he saw her smile.

she kept every word he wrote to her

as a reminder of his love

the only time she ever broke his heart,

was when he gave her chocolate.

the weather never mattered,

as long as they were together.

she took her coffee without sugar,

but it was always sweetened by his smile.

her words flowed off the pages and into his heart,

like the confetti out of the envelope she sent.

she was sure to kiss him everyday

if only to make him see that he was loved.

she lit a candle for her love every night

and every day, he burned for her.

when they met, two hearts became one.

a kiss to build a dream on.

so much to say!

2010-02-10T16:38:00.001-05:00

first, let me start by saying a happy {belated} birthday to Alex over at The Sugar Tree.

I hope it was a wonderful day for you!

Ok - Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnndddd..

I made it back to New York last night!

I did have to sit in the Atlanta airport for an extra hour because the original plane we were boarding had some mechanical issues. Which I don't really understand why people get so worked up and angry when there are delays like that... I mean, do you really want to take a plane that has mechanical problems??

And then when I saw Jackie at the airport, I hugged her for a good five minutes.

After claiming my bags,

which by the way,

went from this...

to this...

yeah, I know...

amazing, right?

it's my mad packing skills.

yeah, no.

I don't have any of those.

As much as I was able to get into the bag

(it even has a zipper to expand the lid)

I did have to leave some stuff there for the next visit.

So, after picking up my bag,

got home and gave Dad a big hug, too.

Then - had to return my {overdue} library books...

oops.

And picked up hoagies.

mmmmmm..

I missed those.

And theeennnnnn...

braved the snowstorm with my buddy, Sean for a few beers.

oh, New York, how I've missed you!

should I get my sneakers & iPod?

2010-02-09T00:15:00.001-05:00

It just occured to me tonight that what I'm doing

{going to Africa, moving to Cali, travel, travel, travel, etc..}

could be looked at as me running away.

And I asked myself,

"Self, are you running away again?"

the answer...

...

questionable.

This is something I've wanted to do for a long time,

but why now?

why africa?

why california?

WHAT am I doooooing?!

Part One:

let me explain

(a little background)

for those of you

{read: everyone - I know.. frustrating.}

that can't read my mind...

I have a very expressive face.

You can really see what I'm feeling most times.

Or rather, people guess.

often, they get it right.

Then there are times,

when no one can figure out what it is that I'm thinking.

My dad tells a story about times when I was maybe about two years old,

and he'd ask me a question,

and sometimes,

I'd just stare at him.

big eyes, no expression.

He claims that the expression was,

"I know what you're saying, but you can't prove it, so I'm not saying anything"

I wasn't a big talker back then.

I had an older sister that could tell anyone whatever they wanted or needed to know.

I had an older sister that talked enough for both of us.

{love you misha ♥}

I'm still not a big talker now.

I have a little sister that can tell waiters/waitresses that I have a severe allergy to peanuts and what kind of sushi we'll have.

I have a little sister that talks enough for the both of us.

{love you jac ♥}

I will say (disclaimer) -

that there are a few people that can get me talking for hours upon days upon weeks,

{but not many can do that..}

Ok - so...

from what I'm picturing of the story my dad so fondly recalls,

I was a demon child with a death stare.

ok.. maybe not that bad.

but seriously,

nickname in high school?

the Anti-Christ.

{ok, given by a boy that claims to have had a crush on me}

but still.

my older sister

{remember? lives in San Diego with her sweet little family}

when chastised for being too bossy {read: bitchy}

she says...

"you haven't met my sister."

just for the record - I don't take offense at this.

my dad says that I

"don't suffer fools lightly"

just for the record - I don't take offense at this.

mostly because it's true.

I think it's important for people to know where you stand.

I am a firm believer in standing up for yourself.

and your family.

and your friends.

and those that can't stand up for themselves.

and I believe that you should be held accountable for your actions.

for your words.

whether you do it,

{or I do it for you... ha ha}

stand up for yourself.

and those you love.

hold yourself accountable.

THAT being said...

I've been looking back on my short little life and rethinking it over the last few months, weeks, days.

I'm not a big talker, I've never been a sharer.

of feelings, I mean.
maybe that's my problem.

So, I've decided, I need to share.

and who better to share with, than you?

I would like to start by saying
{disclaimer, again}
that I have a firm belief in my heart that I have no regrets.

I would like to say that, but I don't know if I can, honestly.

I don't regret where I am today.

I don't regret the experiences that have made me the person that I am today.

I know that if I hadn't had those very specific experiences,

I would not be the person that I am today.

the person that's going to change the bad in the world to good.

the person that's making a difference in the life of a child.

in the life of a stranger.

the person that's making a difference in your life.

I think maybe I could've done without the scars & stitches on my heart, but unless I share some of it, what good is it to have the experience and not learn from it?

google stole my heart.

2010-02-08T17:14:00.000-05:00

Ok - so my favorite (read: most used) phrase of all time, is...

"google it."

what time is the movie playing?
"google it."

who's {that} guy, you know in the {funny} movie we saw 5 years ago?
"google it."

how do you speak swahili?
"google it."

how am I going to get back to NY?
"google it."

what do you want to do with the rest of your life?
"google it."

You get the point.
favorite. of. all. time.

That being said, I think that the overall hype of the superbowl commercials has let me down once again.
Anybody else have this feeling this year?

BUT...
there was ONE company
that outdid themselves.
they stole my heart.
and made me want to go to Paris even more.

Anybody else fall in love with this commercial during the superbowl yesterday??

can we say swoon?

2010-02-06T21:15:00.001-05:00

I've been super busy this week, got to spend another week with mama. I promise to post some more soon. Some pretty pictures to look forward to spring with all the snow out there right now...

petite billet doux (part deux)

2010-02-01T20:18:00.003-05:00

Ok.. so I know that I just did this same format a couple of days ago, but I've had a rough day, and I'm hoping that writing it out will make me feel better.

dear fox news channel,

your so-called 'news' is slanderous & a disgrace to real journalists. change your name immediately. maybe the 'fox opinion channel?'

dear media-in-general,

your stories are ridiculous. I am so tired of talk about tiger woods' & john edwards' affairs. 1-they should have known better than to cheat on their wives; 2 - what does this have to do with sports or politics because let's face it, it's not the first one & it's certainly not the last one. 3 - if this is all the news you could muster up in the world, you suck as a journalist in general.

dear grandma opal,

please please please listen to your daughter and don't try to get up by yourself. I cannot imagine how frustrating this must be after 88 years to have to rely on someone else for everything, but you must understand that this is for your own good.

dear hospital clerical staff,

please do not spend 20 minutes collecting a patient history if your coworkers are not going to bother to look at it.

dear emergency room doctor,

don't uncover the wound that my mom & I so carefully covered and walk away to get her x-rays done with the damn wound open bleeding all over the place.

dear nurse(if you even are that),

I could dress a wound better than you did today. As a matter of fact, a five year old girl scout might have done a better job.

dear supervisor of said nurse,

don't walk into the room as I stand up and start to flip my lid on your 'assistant' for her incompetence in applying a dressing (and almost applying neosporin - which the patient is allergic to) and not know how often the dressing needs to be changed or how long until the x-ray films come back.

dear mama,

I don't know how you manage to stay so sane handling everything that you do. you single-handedly take care of your ailing (and aging and stubborn) mother. I cannot begin to tell you how strong and caring and supportive that you are and express my deepest & most sincere gratitude for being my mom. You are such an inspiration for me. You have always been there for me to talk to whenever I needed advice. If it's any indication just how easy to talk to you (and caring & supportive), most of my friends have (at one time or another) come to you for advice. thank you for always being there. and thank you for being so wonderful & so patient.

ok.. yep, I feel better. thanks for listening!

Pieces of Me... February 2010

2010-02-01T10:44:00.001-05:00

I like...
... laughing so hard it hurts.

... my super-spontaneous-self.

... Corrine Bailey-Rae's newest album.

... emailing with Desi & Krissa nearly every day.

I don't like...
... that I feel like I have so much to do, and none of it is getting done.

... that I had to cancel coffee with a friend who needs someone to talk to.

... people that just don't get it and make the same mistakes time & again.

I want you to know...
... that my program fee due date is February 20th and if you would like to donate, blog about it, or ask a friend to donate, I'll be forever indebted.

I've planned...
... and been disappointed.

... to make fancy cupcakes for Jackie's birthday soiree. (so excited)

... to be my own valentine this year and am so excited for my gift.

I want to say to someone special... (two someone's)

... you are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. keep your chin up and know that my door is always open.

"What lies behind us & what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us."

... you made me smile & laugh for hours. I loved every minute.

Fill in the Blank Friday (on a Sunday)

2010-01-31T15:12:00.001-05:00

found this post (by Lauren) through Anna (see her here), and thought I'd participate too...

Fill in the Blank Friday (on a Sunday)

petite billet doux (little love notes)

2010-01-30T23:22:00.000-05:00

{i've seen a bunch of bloggers using these little notes lately and i've got some of my own that need to be written...}

dear winter,

i hate you for ruining my travel plans for Monday. ok, i'm exaggerating. i dislike you strongly. you're lucky that the upside to this is that i get to spend more time with mom & grandma.

dear amtrak,

i wish you wouldn't cancel trains just because of the weather. is the south really that incapable of dealing with snow? seriously? get it together already.

dear north carolina,

a state of emergency? is this really necessary? come on already. invest in a plow or a shovel and get over yourself.

dear bookswap,

i was so looking forward to receiving my book this week, but alas, i must wait due to old man winter being so crotchety.

dear statesboro,

i really only like you because mom & grandma live here. you are too far from my old friends in hinesville to be likeable in any way.

dear mama,

i think it's really sweet that you cut out all of the sudoku games from the paper for me. also, please stop doing the snow dance. i love you and everything, but i do need to get back to ny. you're the best.

dear people that bought my grandma's old house,

i was excited to drive by the old house on olive street and see that the place hasn't changed much. thank you for keeping the pot-bellied stove mailbox, gazebo, fence & seesaw that dad built, & the pool the same. i was disappointed that you've removed the tree that held our treehouse. and just in case grandma gets to see the house again, i strongly suggest that you keep up with the lawnscape. if an eighty year old woman can do it by herself, i think the two of you with your family should really be able to step up your game..

dear doppelganger of snookie,

this is georgia, not the jersey shore. a six-inch poof is ridiculous. especially with your bleach blonde hair.

dear g-i,

it's sweet that you think i'm pretty and want to talk to me. it's flattering, really. please try to understand why i don't want to hear about your soon-to-be-ex-wife or your six kids. please get the hint a little earlier next time, but thank you for backing off (a little) after i told you my dad is an airborne ranger & retired first sergeant.

dear sweet man that saved me from said g-i,

i've never laughed so hard in my life. my face hurts from smiling. i like that you only asked once to dance with me, you just assumed that i would everytime after that. i'm glad i did.

dear self,

stop being such a sucker for guys that make you laugh and ask you to dance. seriously. stop it.

oh.my.

2010-01-29T01:20:00.002-05:00

I guess you could say I'm an avid reader.

I grew up reading everything in sight.

At nine years old,

I read Gone with the Wind

(in 5 days)

I was in love with Rhett Butler.

the second he walked into Twelve Oaks for the barbeque..

But really, who wasn't?

Is it any wonder that I studied english & literature?

The lit courses were my absolute favorite in college. Maybe it was my brilliant professors, but probably not.

It was the books.

My absolute favorite books

{of all time}

are the ones that are old and weathered and falling apart at the spine.

The gentle vanilla-almond-papery (?) scent of really old books is intoxicating.

But, new books are just as fascinating to me.

I borrowed a book before I took a trip to California in November (Jackie, Kateigh, Allisen... I'm not sure which one lent it to me) - the first in a series by Nora Roberts...

After I read the first book,

let me tell you,

I quick,

whipped out my iPhone

and searched on my amazon app to find out if I could download the second book to my phone

- credit card ready in hand.

I didn't bother to check for shipping dates,

because I needed it right then and there because I needed to start it right away.

Well, at 2am,

after searching for about 10 minutes,

giving up and just google-ing it,

I was disappointed to learn that Book two had not yet been released.

Worst feeling ever.

Nothing like hopeful anticipation to be squashed with the red-tape of it not even being available yet.

So in the bookstore, I happened across this book 2 and picked it up and (again)

let the happy dances continue down the aisle.

Once I started, I couldn't stop.

This is an excerpt from that book that I stayed up reading until 4am.

{when i finished it}

I love books that pull me in like this one did.

When I read,

it's like my imagination is jump-started;

like I have a little movie playing in my head.

My brain just fills in all the rest of the details of the scene without questions.

It's amazing really.

***

   "But don't worry, no need to run for the hills. I'm responsible for my own feelings, my own needs, my own choices. And I'm done here. I'm done with this."
     "Hold it." He wondered his head didn't explode. Maybe it already had. "Wait a damn minute so I can think."
     "Time's up, thinking's over. Don't touch me now," she warned when he started toward her. "Don't even think about putting a hand on me. You had your chance. I'd have given you everything I had. If you'd needed more, I'd have found it, and given you that. It's the way I love. It's the only way I know how. But I can't give where it's not wanted and valued. Where I'm not."
     "Be pissed off." He snapped it out. "Break dishes. But don't stand there and tell me I don't want you, don't value you."
     "Not the way I want or need. And trying not to want, Jack? Trying not to love you the only way I know how to love? It's breaking my heart." she grabbed her bag. "Stay away from me."
    He slapped a hand on the screen door to stop her. "I want you to sit down. You're not the only one with things to say."
    "I don't care what you want. I'm done caring. I said stay away from me."
     She looked up at him then. It wasn't temper or heat in her eyes. Those he would've ignored until they'd burned this out. But he had no power against her pain.
     "Emma. Please."
     She only shook her head, and, pushing past him, ran to her car

***

- Nora Roberts, "Bed of Roses" (Book Two of The Bride Quartet series)

What's your favorite genre? Favorite author? Favorite series?

my super fantastic awesome day

2010-01-28T18:01:00.002-05:00

today is amazing!

I am finding oh-so much happiness with the little things today.

all of them.

And if you know me,

you know I am ALL about the little things.

well, and 3+ inch heels..

and those huge purses that confuse men because of how much (and what) you can pull out of them..

and mayyybe some nice big pretty jewels..

but I digress.

...

I woke up this morning after a few short hours of sleep

and the first thing that I ususally do...

{thanks to the iPhone}

is to check my e-mail.

Much anticipated email responses were there.

{insert excited & happy dance here}

I love getting emails from Desi (of Life or Something like it) & Krissa (of Randomness).

We've been going back and forth a lot lately and it really is the highlight of my morning.

Thanks ladies for making my morning great!

...

I made chili in the slow cooker last night and had a very happy lunch.

Michelle's chili recipe is one for the books.

Especially topped with sour cream & chives.

And a side of sweet tea.

and the book...

that I may or may not have stayed up until 4am reading

until I actually couldn't understand the words anymore -

no, I mean it.

I was reading and then all of a sudden,

I couldn't make sense of the letters anymore..

...

When I asked grandma if she wanted some chili for lunch...

she said no.

She wanted apple pie.

And she makes a mean pie.

No really -

if pies could laugh,

it would cackle in your face and demean your intentions to stay fit & trim.

...

And so,

{being the wonderful granddaughter that I am}

I immediately set her to work mixing up the pie crust.

yes, even with a broken arm.

don't let her size fool you.

She's got more spunk than most 20-somethings that I know.

combined.

Take, for example,

her reaction to my camera capturing the moment below...

"get that thing. out. of. my. face."

oh, grandma Opal...

And then I discovered something that I cannot do.

at all.

roll a pie crust.

seriously.

I'm inept.

And I'm usually great in the kitchen. I promise.

ask my friends.

ask my old boyfriends.

ask my mom.

which reminds me... Jackie -

please, may I bake you some mini cupcakes for your birthday soiree?

I found the sweetest (no pun intended) recipes for mini cupcakes

and they are just so darned fancy

(just like you).

they have names like:

salted caramel chocolate cupcakes

fresh citrus cupcakes with ruby red grapefruit glaze

cappuccino cupcakes

fresh citrus cupcakes with orange buttercream

(i think you get the idea... now wipe the drool off your chin, and keep reading.)

So I guess my pie crust needs work.

A lot of it.

so I added it to my life list.

one more thing to do.

sad, isn't it?

the finished product...

And after cutting into it...

I've officially renamed this from apple pie, to apple crumble...

...

Also... made schnitzel & red cabbage...

served with a side of broccoli casserole & mixed vegetables.

Oh... and did I mention, the whole time in the kitchen,

was dancing to this playlist..

I know.. it's a wide array of artist & genre...

but these fit my mood today.

Oh, and I almost forgot...

These are the wonderful books I got yesterday!

**not including the one I mailed for my swap partner today, I might add.

Was your day just as wonderful??

sweet friends.

2010-01-28T16:44:00.000-05:00

So here at my mom's...
     I have a little friend next door.
        He comes to visit every day
     at the same time.
          usually around 11am.
                He doesn't bother to knock.
            there's really no need.
     He's always welcome.

He likes me to fix him something to eat
                   and sits with me while I read.
Then,
    because eating & reading are
so
    exhausting
                   for
                          him,
he takes a little nap on the daybed in the sun room.

At about four o'clock in the afternoon,
  he gets up,
   s
     t
      r
      e
         t
          c
            h
              e
                s,
           and walks back over to his house
- just in time for his mom to get home from work.

Meet Carlton, friends.