carymiller.net

as if stolen from my lips

admin — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 16:47:32 +0000

“One regret dear world, that I am determined not to have when I am lying on my deathbed is that I did not kiss you enough.” –Hafiz

thank god i’m not censored

admin — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 19:08:15 +0000

today is perfect
does that make sense?
that one day could be more perfect than another?
{i know, i know - there is no such thing as more perfect}
yesterday was perfect too
though if you’d asked
with that pitying look in your eye
i would have told you that the sky was too hot
my eyes were too itchy
time was running far too slow.
but none of that
is anything more
than that… you know?
and today really is perfect
and i’m just happy
that i thought
to notice it

open letter to arlene

admin — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 17:30:35 +0000

hey arlene!

thank you for the very kind comments you’ve left on my blog. i can tell you’ve been very concerned for me, and i really appreciate that, but the e-mail address you comment with doesn’t seem to work, so while i’ve tried to reply to you many times, they never go through.

sorry about that… leave me a good address and i’ll be happy to let you know how i’m doing.

-Cary

i’m in love with this photo

admin — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 23:09:15 +0000

WILCO at the Greek Theater

admin — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 19:23:26 +0000

Wow. Had such a great time on Saturday. I spent the afternoon at two different tiki-themed BBQs with my sister and her husband in Alameda (good lord, it was hot even there,) and then picked up my friend Cassie in Oakland and headed over to the WILCO show in Berkeley.

What a performance!! And what an amazing place to see a show… huge amphitheater, perfectly warm California night, big beautiful moon in the sky, and lots of stars. How is it that I’d never seen a show there??

Ok, so they didn’t play my favorite WILCO song, but I guess you can’t have everything… they did play an incredibly good set though.

Hope you’re all well,
C

starfish…………….

admin — Sun, 28 Jun 2009 08:32:37 +0000

that delicious promise

admin — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 17:19:27 +0000

that delicious promise hangs over us like a ripe peach ready to be plucked

i sense its breath {aching, halting}

and trace its curves with the fingers of my memory.

you know perfectly well i would dip it in honey and take a bite

if i had my way {with it, with you}

but i am too proud to chase

and besides, i have already eaten

all the good parts

the babies on my front porch

admin — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:45:20 +0000

uggh

admin — Sat, 23 May 2009 06:30:25 +0000

I had a bit of a blowout today with a good friend, and I’m having a hard time getting it off of my mind. When Lori passed away, most of our mutual friends pretty much went AWOL, and I’ve had to learn to live without the support network that I thought I had.

I’ve done a good job of making new friends, with a lot of work, but I really miss having some people around who really know me, or at least knew me as I/we went through this terrible loss.

Anyway, I’m afraid I may have let pent up frustrations get out of hand, and said a few things that may not have exactly described what it was that I was feeling. Really, I think I acted like a bit of a jerk.

So to my friend — I don’t know if you ever read this, but if you do, I’m really very sorry about all of that… I hope you’ll forgive me for acting like a big baby, but it was only because you’re one of my favorite people, and I’ve missed getting to spend any time with you.

I’m sorry it came out so badly.

‘night now.

Southeast Asia: Spring 2010

admin — Thu, 14 May 2009 21:47:49 +0000

Well, it’s settled… I’ve decided that come hell or high water, this time next year I will be lounging by a pool somewhere in Southeast Asia — mornings spent eating fresh fruit under a thatched roof, afternoons exploring the living temples beneath a canopy of jungle, evenings enveloped in the flowery scent of incense, guided by fireflies across the rice paddies.
But where to exactly?! Bali calls me back (as it has constantly, rather cruelly, since I first set foot on that magical island,) but I am enamored of Thailand, Cambodia, and Vietnam as well… and it would be nice to explore something new.

Well, no hurry to make that final decision quite yet, but I feel an amazing rush of good energy just making this decision. I’ve been wanting to do it for some time. Ever since Lori’s passing had become eminent (what, two or three years now?) And now that the active part of my grieving is over, I feel truly free to get out there and explore the world again.

I think it might be fun to invite a few friends to come along, but I’m not settled on that yet, either. I’m pretty sure I’d enjoy the company, and I do find that discovering new places is so much more enjoyable when you have others to share it with. But regardless, I will be boarding a fat jumbo jet in the Spring of 2010, and don’t you try to stop me…

Bless you all, as always,
C