I’ll leave this blog intact for Teegan’s memorial link and my blogroll, but my archives and a new and improved blogroll will be at the new location.

Hope to see you there!

I started a new system at home for helping keep the kids’ behavior on track.  It’s working so great . . . I don’t know why I didn’t start it years ago.

I was prompted to do this because their behavior had really gotten out of hand.  Ian was having to be restrained often at school and was exploding at home when he didn’t get his way.  Max was throwing temper tantrums at school and home, and hitting his siblings when he didn’t get his way.  And Emy was having Mount Vesuvius-esque meltdowns at home when she didn’t get her way, as well as receiving multiple conducts marks at school every week.

Calgon, take me away!

I had had enough, and realized it was imperative that I stop slacking in this department, because, if I thought I had my hands full now . . . oy!  The stories I hear about teenagers!

I knew I needed to establish now that I was in control and in command, so they won’t question my authority when they are older.  Okay, I know they are still going to test me when they are teenagers . . . but I believe (hope) that if I remain strong and consistent, they will always know what to expect of me and will practice some self-discipline.  We’ll see how it goes.

But regardless of the future . . . getting a handle on their behavior now . . . makes life right now, oh, so much more pleasant.

When everyone was calm and not throwing a hissy fit, we sat down and I told them what I was planning to do.  I made a matrix Monday through Sunday, with everyone’s name listed–including mine.  The week is broken up into two parts Monday through Thursday (The School Week) and Friday through Sunday (The Weekend).  The kids helped me establish the rules . . . we listed the behaviors that should be punished, and what the punishment might be.

Because Monday through Thursday are school days, the kids are limited in what they can do.  After school they can watch a little TV, but when I walk in the door from work the TV is turned off for the rest of the evening.  They can do homework, read, draw, play with their non-electronic toys and games.  Their behavior at home and school during the school week will determine their privileges during the weekend:  drawing, playing with toys, computers, video games, swimming, etc.

The grandparents and I determine what deserves a conduct mark, and when their reports come home from school, those points are also marked on our matrix.  We’ve been making a big deal about this every Friday when I get home from work.  We sit down and talk about their behavior and count up all the points.  Everyone starts out with an A, but conduct marks are two points a piece, and if their grade drops below a B . . . that’s where the fun stops.

Their weekend will be spent reading and drawing, nothing more.  Any conduct marks earned on the weekend carry over to the next week.  So I’m always on the lookout for bad behavior.  Sometimes I think maybe it’s too harsh, but then I realize, considering that I’m not really all that strict . . . ten conduct marks is a lot of freaking marks.  So I’m okay with my system so far.

What I like being able to tell the kids is that their weekend is completely up to them.  I want them to think about and understand that they are responsible for their behavior.  They control how their weekend will go.  And I really like that it’s not all put off on me being a mean mommy.  We made an agreement.  We stick to the agreement.

Unfortunately there are also times when immediate punishment is necessary.  So we have very specific rules for hitting and having to be restrained.  I love that I have 19 steps right out my front door, it makes it so easy to punish the hitters.  Not so great is that Ian and Emy actually like doing the stairs.  :rolleyes:  They can do twice as many flights as Max.  However, I lucked out that they don’t really hit as much as Max does.  For Ian, when he has to be restrained at home or at school–and I know this is hitting below the belt and I feel awful about it–I’ve had to resort to taking away his drawing priviledges.  This is utter torture for him, excessively cruel and unusual.  But it’s been working, so I’ll stick with it.

We’ve been at this probably just over a month, and the difference has been remarkable.  Sure, we still have our issues and we still have our moments . . . we are just a normal family.  But I can honestly say that the issues and the moments are fewer and farther between.

Yeah, I think we’re going to stick to the agreement.

L

We realized that the chick at the front of the salad line was ordering like 15 salads! ???  We mumbled under breath about how thoughtless that was, heck . . . the people behind her were going to waste half their lunch standing in line. Not only that, she was slowing up the sandwich line because that server was also helping with the salads.

So fast forward to today.  I go down there, a little later than usual to grab my yummy grilled flat bread sandwich.  The sandwich lady–I should really find out her name :duh:–asks me how I’m doing.  Fine.  I asked if she had recouped from that crazy salad line last week.  It was kinda loud in the deli, so we weren’t exactly talking in low voices.  You know where this is going . . .

Sandwich Lady:  OMG, can you believe someone would come down and order that many salads . . . IN LINE?

Me:  I know!  SO inconsiderate of the other people trying to get their lunch.

Me:  I mean . . . Hello?  Have you ever heard of a telephone?  :holding invisible phone up to my ear:

Sandwich Lady:  :chuckle:

Me:  Maybe you could call it in next time and not be such a pain in the arse!

Sandwich Lady:  :chuckle:

At that moment I looked towards the salad line, and O.M.G.  The chick was standing right next to me.  I mean, like, RIGHT. NEXT. TO ME.  We were almost touching we were standing so close!  There is no WAY she didn’t hear my smart ass self.

And she had about five salads in her hand, and was waiting on a couple more.  LMAO  I spun the other way and noticed her coworker standing behind her just a bit with several salads in her hand.  She must have heard me too!

I was kinda shocked that they did it again!  I know they are just doing their job, but this seems highly inefficient. I mean, sure, it’s lunch, but sheesh, find a way to streamline your procedure.  Pffffft.

Anyway, I’m such a goob.  You know that old and wise adage about not saying anything unless you have something nice to say?  Yeah.  I need to practice that more.

L

But this morning, after I dropped the kids off at school . . . I had to take some time to myself. I sat in silence at the park and ride for 10 minutes, just listening to the quiet.

The view outside my window was gloomy. It matched my mood.

From the moment she woke this morning Emy found every excuse she could to justify pitching a fit.  She spared no expense today, she gave me her all:  yelling, tears, sobbing, throwing herself on the ground, screaming that she hated me and that she wanted another mommy, insisting that she could not control herself.  All over . . . well, hell . . . I’m not sure what it was all about.

:sigh:

I told her she was entitled to be upset, even if none of us, including her, knew why.  She could cry even . . . but she must keep moving forward, she must finished getting dressed and brush her teeth and put her shoes on.  And there can be no screaming.

Cue the piercing shrieks, and a thud as she threw herself on the floor.  I love how she follows directions.  LOL

We made it out the door only a couple minutes behind, so I wasn’t upset . . . until the howling started outside.  I had to grab her ear to make her move forward.  Threatening to remove her earrings because, ‘babies don’t get to wear earrings’.  That didn’t silence her, but it did get her moving towards the car.

Yes, eventually I lost it . . . after more screeching in the car . . . I hollered at her.  I hate yelling at the kids.  Truly hate it.  I’m loud enough as it is . . . as some of you have experienced . . . I’m on a whole different level when I’m upset and yelling.  Trust me, you don’t want to see it.  And I don’t want my kids to see it either. But it happens.

I’m not sure what the point of it is . . . I guess yelling is a release valve, because it certainly doesn’t calm the situation.  It only causes more distress.

:sigh:

I’m anxious to get home now, so I can give her a hug.

L

Jack Cafferty

L

It’s so good, even I can’t remember it.  Hence the delay between posts.  Seriously.  I feel stupid so you don’t have to rub it in anymore.  Or as Ian likes to say . . . “Isn’t me feeling bad enough punishment?”  Uhhh, no . . . wait, I don’t think I’m proving my point there . . .

Anywho . . . lots going on lately.  The apartment is coming along nicely, I just have a few finishing touches . . . like teaching the kids to pick up after themselves . . . oh, and, yeah . . . unpacking the scrapbook room.  That room is crazy crowded at the moment, stuff is everywhere.  I really need to get on the ball, Spring Break is inching closer and I think I’d prefer to actually scrapbook, rather than organize the scrapbook room.

But there is one area of our home that is finally finished–though it still needs something for the walls–mine and Emy’s bathroom/closet.

I love the height of this vanity. My bathroom vanity at the house was so short it killed my back. Luckily Emy is getting tall enough that she doesn’t need a step to reach. Definitely need something for that wall facing the door.

These curtains were in my office at the house, and I was going to use them in my bedroom . . . but I forgot and bought a comforter set that clashes big time so I decided to use them in the bathrooms instead.

Never had a garden tub before. The kids LOVE taking baths in here. My knee is not so fond of the high edge, but I still like it pretty good.

Directly across from the tub is an Expedit bookcase from Ikea. These used to be in Emy’s room, but this bathroom was sooo big, I knew they would fit in here perfect. It took a while, but I finally got everything organized with some baskets. I think I want a couple more though. I don’t like the mismatched blue and white tubs. It’s gotta match!  Definitely need something hanging over this bookcase.

This is Emy’s side of the closet. I’ve had these wooden drawer towers from Ikea since Ian was a baby. They have definitely come in handy over the years. We were going to paint them white . . . but I’m not the only who likes to procrastinate, so it didn’t happen. I think they look okay as they are though. We drove to Ikea this weekend and got her all new tubs. She wanted ALL pink. Big surprise. She loves them.  She’s got all her clothes and toys neatly organized now.

And here’s my side of the closet.  I’m thinking this area isn’t looking as black as some other closets I’ve seen.  Hmmmm . . .

More to come later!

L

Dr. Suess

Visit Seussville!

L

The 365 photos blog is gonna have to wait a little bit longer though.  Since I haven’t managed to get a photo every day, I’m going to modify my goal to at least taking 365 photos throughout the year.  Unfortunately I’m not off to a very good start, considering I misplaced my camera during the move . . . but I’ll catch up.

So, today we’ve been hanging out.  Emy wasn’t feeling well, so we’ve spent a lazy day at home and I decided to play on the computer and create a page.  The down side is that it took me ALL day to create a page.  Jeesh.

Anyway, here it is, Max and Emy trying to take a decent buddy shot . . . they need a little more practice no?

Supplies: Chrissy Williams - Favorite Place; Shawna Clingerman - Graffiti Grunge; Font - Old Typewriter

L

:beeeep: