We recognize that internet and online dating can be a little intimidating, confusing, and even frustrating for many people. If you are looking for online dating tips and advice on writing your online profile, look no further.

This advice is based on the use of the free dating site, plenty of fish.

Writing your profile

We believe that your written profile is not as important as how you make your initial contact, that said, it shouldn’t deter people from replying and should create some additional value for you. Stick to these online dating tips and your profile will get more hits than imaginable.

Do not make your profile too long. Keep it under 10 sentences and use white space. Include a passion outside of work or school and talk about how you like to stay busy.

You want your profile to make women think “oh wow this seems like a great guy that probably doesn’t have a lot of time to go out and meet new people” and not “this guy seems like he sits at home stalking people on the internet.” You likely won’t get a response if they think the latter.

How not to start your profile:

“I am a 27 year old male, 6ft 1in, 190lbs and athletic. Not looking for anything serious just casual hang outs and a fun time.”

I know 50 people that fit that description off the top of my head. Not only have you created no value, but your age, body type, and what you are looking for can be or is already included in the basic information on your profile, so you are not adding anything new. Remember online dating takes some work, so stick to our online dating tips.

The perfect picture

No matter how good you think your bare chest and stomach looks, do everyone a favour and leave that a mystery. This is a one of those must follow online dating tips. It may work for some people, but we are focusing on creating value within your online profile.

So then what makes a good picture?

A good picture does what your conversation would. After all, a picture is worth one thousand words. Your main picture should be some sort of headshot in which you are smiling with teeth and looking into the camera so your eyes are visible.

Ideally, it should not be a self-taken photo or webcam shot and should have subtleties in the background that create a sense of intrigue.

A picture of you from your trip to Europe or down south, at a sporting event, or even a graduation. These subtle aspects in the background will build value by showing stability and a sense of intrigue and mystery.

Making initial contact

Out of all our online dating tips, making initial contact is probably the most important. Remember to guide the conversation in a way that encourages her to reply. We recommend asking a question or two based on her profile or pictures and bringing yourself into her reality.

For example: “I see from your pictures that you are a dog lover :). My family had a black lab while I grew up, but unfortunately I haven’t lived in a place in the city that allows pets. Do you live inside the city? Is it difficult at times to care of her/him in [city name]?”

In three or four sentences you related yourself to something she loves – her dogs – and asked a couple questions that she is passionate about and will likely respond to.

Avoid long chit-chats

Similar to interactions in person, you want to avoid drawn out conversations that can allow things to go flat. This can easily happen if you bounce messages back and forth for weeks.

We recommend closing in your second or third message.

How to close and ask for the phone number

Closing online is similar to closing in person. You want to create a sense of urgency and force them to make a decision on the spot. You want them thinking either give this guy a shot or never hear from him again.

Here is a textbook close from our online dating tips for how to pick up online. You can include it at the end of your second or third message.

“The next couple weeks will be quite busy for me with a couple projects and I doubt I’ll make it online much. I would love to get together for a cup of coffee or a drink some time if you wanted to give me your number maybe we can get together later in the week.”

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Did you like these online dating tips? Let us know, we would love to hear from you.

A woman loves a guy who is able to handle their own, verbally, but having a great conversation doesn’t mean talking a mile a minute to make sure it doesn’t go flat.

Teach yourself and practice the following conversation tips and you will not only feel more confident in conversations, you will grab the attention of all the women you talk to.

1. Listen.

Listen carefully and avoid all distractions. If you are alone with someone, make sure you turn off your phone or put it on silent. Giving them your full attention not only shows respect, but allows you to engage them better in conversation.

2. Guide the conversation with questions.

Women love to talk – especially about things that they are really passionate about. Consider yourself the conversation facilitator and guide the conversation with specific questions based on what they are talking about.

For example, if a woman just finished explaining how she grew up in Halifax, ask her what it was like to experience the rush of students every year while growing up – she likely has some interesting stories. Of course, it is only possible to do this if you are listening to her stories.

3. Fuel the fire.

Although you will want to do more listening than talking, it is important to add some discussion to the conversation. This can be done by adding a personal twist on something before moving the conversation.

Example: “I could only imagine how living through the students moving in every year must have been. I’ve only been in the city for 3 years and already notice the high level of emotion that the start of September brings to the city. Not to mention I once had to help carry a couch on my back for 5 blocks.”

4. Avoid certain topics.

Work is typically boring, so unless it has been brought up already avoid bringing it up. If you are asked about what you do for work, address it quickly and guide the conversation in another direction. No matter how exciting you think think balancing the company’s books are, it is not going to build sexual attraction. I guarantee that.

Women love to talk about past relationships, and it also creates a sense of sexuality.

Avoid controversial topics such as religion or politics, at least during the first encounter. Also, avoid topics like technology and science in which you have a high degree of knowledge (if you do). Although you may not mean to, it can easily ruin the conversation with a condescending tone.

It happens.

As the image above so kindly outlines – rejection happens. It typically isn’t personal even when it comes to dating, which can be hard for most people to understand. No, you probably didn’t stink, your hair wasn’t done the wrong way, you weren’t too skinny, etc.

Rejection in dating and picking up usually is caused by the situation. Perhaps she is not used to having a confident, interesting person approach her on the street, waiting for a bus, or at the coffee shop. She is put out of her comfort zone and makes a quick decision to dismiss the idea of a future rendezvous.

Rejected. But don’t take it personally – is that even the type of person you want to date?

It is their loss.

You have a lot to offer and are a great person. You put yourself out there and suggested a non-threatening opportunity to pursue future conversation or physicality.

If they reject this, it is no one’s loss but theirs. You didn’t hold back. They are the ones that will be forever wondering what would have happened if they accepted. Let them think about that.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket

If you are in the casual dating scene you likely won’t be chasing one woman at a time. The idea of ‘plenty fish in the sea’ comes to mind here. Don’t feel like you can only approach one woman and then wait to see what happens. Approaching many woman will give you more possibilities if some do reject you.

Don’t let Rejection lead to Obsession

It is unhealthy to obsess over rejection. If a woman does not want to see you, let her go. Remember after all it is their loss.

Unfortunately Obsession can happen. It typically occurs when you have excellent initial contact with a woman – and maybe even a casual first date – but then she slowly distances herself and even though she may say she wants to meet up, it never happens.

Be careful in situations like this and have the discipline to let it go and move on.

It gets better with time

Needless to say, like anything the more practice you get handling rejection the better you will become at handling it. It is important not to let the fear of rejection be the reason you do not approach women. The worst she can do is say no.

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For some great information on handling rejection in the dating world we highly recommend the reading: Attraction Formula by Paul Janka.

Here are some of the factors we feel are important when deciding where to go after an evening out together.

Comfort

A huge part of getting in the right mood and escalating things into a fun, safe, and sexual environment is how comfortable you are in that situation. This is important to remember when deciding where to go when you “go home” with someone.

Typically, a woman is more comfortable in her own place as she feels more in control of the situation. The familiar surroundings will have her much more relaxed than across town in your pad – especially if you just met her for the first time. Additionally, they will feel more comfortable knowing they can ask you to leave whenever they want.

Proximity

No one enjoys spending $20 on a cab ride across town – unless you use it to check a location off your list – so if one person lives a couple blocks away it makes more sense to choose that venue.

The roommate factor

Roommates are definitely a factor when determining where to end your night together. If you have chosen your roommate well and gave ample notice then this will be less of an issue. If the option is available, we recommend choosing a location where the two of you can be alone.

Final answer

Guys, there’s a good chance you forgot to prepare your place before taking her home, so holding all variables constant, we recommend that you choose her location.

Of course if your place is closer, roommate free, or if she insists on going back to your place do not put up a fight.

Naturally, for any of this to happen you will need to arrange a date or rendezvous. In order to do this you will need to figure out what works for you.

Follow up

This is usually done the same day that you secured the number to ensure that the memory of you is still fresh in her mind. You should follow up via text message with a short and harmless text. An example could be “I hope you are enjoying the beautiful day :)”. You will likely receive one of many responses ranging from “I am thank you” to “who is this?” If you receive the latter, simply reply with a reminder.

This not only reminds her of the encounter with you, but it also gives her your number if she didn’t take it and brings you into a part of her world.

Text option

The text option is great for those not extremely comfortable speaking on a telephone. It is also much more discrete and gives you the ability to send out many messages in a short period of time (congrats if your “black-book” is getting that full). Be sure to ask to get together the same day that you sent the text.

There are some people who consider using a text message inferior and not as personal as calling. There are definitely pros and cons to each method, but text messaging is how people are generally communicating and there is nothing wrong with setting up and arrangement over text. We recommend it and use it ourselves.

Call option

As mentioned, both the text and call option have their strengths and weaknesses and it really depends on what you are trying to achieve. If you are comfortable talking briefly on the phone then calling to arrange a date is a good way to show attention and it is harder to say no on the phone.

Call at lunch time on a week day. Begin the conversation by acknowledging that you caught her during lunch and that you do not have much time to chat. Quickly ask if she would be interested in getting together for a drink later today or tonight.

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Putting the pressure on for a same-day date or encounter allows you to control the situation. If she argues or suggests a later date, cite a busy schedule as a reason you are unable to do so and insist again on the same day. The longer she puts off the encounter the less likely it is to happen.

We will discuss a few key aspects of meeting people in general that can be applied to leave a great first impression on the family or parents of your significant other.

Don’t “just be yourself” – be prepared.

We aren’t suggesting to be someone you aren’t. That said, just “being yourself” in the sense that you should act like you do when you’re staying home for an evening likely won’t cut it.

Don’t over analyze the family or situation, but make sure you know the names, occupations, and any important history of the parents and siblings before diving in.

In addition, make sure you have a decent answer to the inevitable “how did you meet” and “what do you want to do with your life” questions and that you are able to handle your own in a conversation. Remember to steer the conversation away from you and more about them.

Smile

A smile goes a long way when interacting with people – especially parents. A nice smile instantly increases comfort, raises the energy level, and creates a positive mood. It is hard to be unhappy around someone who is constantly smiling.

Don’t make it fake and make sure you are comfortable with it. A forced smile or a constant grin will be noticed. Be sincere.

Don’t do nothing

You’re nervous about meeting the family so you think that if you just keep to yourself and don’t do anything you won’t be able to mess it up. Perhaps. The goal of meeting the family should be to leave a positive first impression.

Sure, doing nothing and not leaving a bad impression is good, but it won’t gain the trust and build your value in the eyes of their parents the same way that being involved in the evening will.

Mirror people

Mirroring people is a technique that is used and practiced across many disciplines including psychology and business. It is hugely beneficial when gaining trust, building a relationship and “fitting in”.

It is important to understand that mirroring does not mean imitating. Imitating every move can make it seem as if you are mocking someone and have a negative effect.

What you want to do is simply mirror the mood, language, energy level, and demeanor of the parents, family, and the situation. This may mean you need to step outside your comfort zone for a while but you will quickly become more comfortable with exposure.

Say anything.

An ice breaker is meant to do just that – break the ice. If you spend too much time deciding what you are going to say to introduce yourself you are going to look awkward and rehearsed, and likely miss the opportunity altogether.

Depending on where you are making first contact, an ice breaker can be as simple as asking for the time or directions, or quickly commenting on something unique.

Don’t tell them how beautiful their eyes look. That’s creepy coming from anyone. Instead, quickly comment on their scarf and ask where they got it. Listen to the reply and guide the conversation in another direction.

Become part of their reality

It is much easier to break the ice if you don’t have to comment about something of or about her, and can instead comment on something that is active in the situation.

For example, if you see a girl at a coffee shop working on her laptop you can break the ice by commenting on how you would never get any work done if it weren’t for coffee shops.

This brings you into her reality and allows the two of you to discuss something other than each yourselves to break the ice.

Get in, get out.

If your end goal is to get a phone number or set something up, don’t spend too much time talking the first time you meet her. Build a little value and get out.

Check out how to pick up a woman for more information on what to do after breaking the ice.

From my experience this conversation is usually initiated by the woman (but not always) and usually involves a variation of these quick questions: What are we? or What do we call this?

Don’t miss this question.

Whoever asked this question just put themselves out there and likely feels a little vulnerable after asking it. It is important that it gets addressed.

Why does this conversation happen?

This conversation is usually sparked by curiosity to make sure that both parties are on the same level as far as the relationship goes. It is hugely important for couples as it gauges the degree of interest and what degree of feelings and effort is being invested to progress the relationship.

What is expected?

Obviously every relationship and couple is unique and there is no textbook answer or reply that one can give to this question or conversation. That said, be honest. This is likely your first “serious” discussion as a “couple” and it is a chance to be open about your thoughts and feelings.

The textbook answer.

I know I just said there is no textbook answer, but for all of you people who need one, I thought I’d offer it. Just make sure you mean it if you say it.

“You can call us whatever you’d like, just know I am not interested in seeing anyone else.”

This reply likely gives them what they wanted to hear – the idea of exclusivity and that you are not “dating around” so-to-speak – while not smothering things with an absolute definition of the relationship. Just understand that this reply gives them the permission to call you a boyfriend/girlfriend in public.

For men – this is a good thing. It means that men are able to increase their chances with women by understanding what women find attractive and appealing to it.

Naturally, there are different qualities that women will look for in someone they want to casually date vs someone they want to engage in a long-term relationship with. I will focus on what you can concentrate on to appeal to women in the dating scene.

Confidence

This is the first thing mentioned in any blog or book about meeting women. It is easy to say you need it, but harder to explain it and acquire it.

So what is it and how can I get more confident?

Confidence is a state of mind. It is the ability to believe without knowing for certain – essentially having the ability to control and handle your environment or situation.

You can have confidence in a variety of things. Your confidence in your ability to run 10K may not be as high as the confidence you have in interacting with women. In the dating world and when picking up women, it is important to have confidence in your ability to speak and control a conversation, as well as confidence in yourself as an intriguing and interesting individual.

The best way to raise your confidence is by acquiring information and experience. This basically means practice makes perfect. It is also important to be able to operate outside your comfort zone in case something happens that you were not expecting.

Verbal Game

Other than your confidence, your ability to talk and your verbal game is by far the first thing a woman will notice when you approach them. Women will be amazed if you are able to create something from nothing when it comes to a conversation.

If you have the ability to carry a conversation for two or three minutes by merely asking her the time of day, I guarantee you will get phone numbers, dates, and laid.

Verbal game is a skill, and like any skill it can be learned and mastered. It will make you stand out in a crowd and without a doubt make you more attractive to women.

Stability

Women like a sense of stability in a man. A good head on your shoulders, means of rewarding employment, or great education all play into how a woman is attracted to you.

How you convey this stability is also important. Don’t spend your conversation talking about your job – it’s boring and no one cares. However, it is easy to subtly mention that you live a few blocks away (in a good neighbourhood), that you took business in University, or that friends from work have talked about that same location that she gets her hair cut.

Be subtle, but make sure she knows you aren’t some stalker who sits and waits to pick up women at the bus stop. Wait – we aren’t, right?

Sense of intrigue and mystery

Although woman do like a sense of stability, this doesn’t mean they like boring. Turn them on with a sense of intrigue and mystery. Make sure they know that you are interesting.

There are a number of ways to increase your sense of mystery. Keep your initial contact brief and do not reveal too much about yourself. Focus on catching their attention and making them wonder more about you.

Facial hair and time of day can play into your sense of intrigue. It begs the question of what sort of work you do that allows you to wear scruff and enjoy an afternoon coffee, for example.

Also, exiting a conversation by saying you are running late or someone is waiting for you to get back to a project, work, or whatever, will create questions in her mind as to what is so important that you are late for or need to get back to.

Physical

Obviously women are also attracted to physical features of men. Style, hygiene, the way you carry yourself, and body shape are all factors that women notice.

Keep these in mind when you head out on the town. Trying to pick up in sweats may prove challenging. Wear appropriate clothing for your body type and show that you have a sense of style.

The following is our breakdown of things to watch for in a relationship as signs to whether it is healthy or unhealthy.

Talk, sleep, and eat

These are three things that you need to make sure you enjoy doing with your partner. When it all boils down, when the relationship progresses, talking, sleeping, and eating is how you will spend most of your time together.

If you get easily frustrated when trying to have a conversation, or are not comfortable sleeping together, you may want to reconsider the compatibility of you and your partner.

Sex

Everyone has a different opinion on the role that sex plays in a relationship, when it should be introduced, and its importance.

Being able to fulfill the sexual needs of your partner and satisfy them is a rewarding and relationship-building experience.

That said, if there are problems in the bedroom they can likely be talked through if addressed. In our opinion, although sex plays a big role in a healthy relationship, for the most part it will not make or break one – unless one partner is unwilling to try.

Listening and validation

We believe that these are huge factors that many couples tend to overlook. When you and your partner are talking or when one person is in need, do the two of you actually listen to each other?

Be sure to show that you are listening by asking questions and avoiding distractions. Listening is a huge way to show your partner that you respect them. If you find it difficult to have a conversation with your partner without them being distracted and not paying attention you may want to address it sooner than later as it can hold back a relationship.

Validation is another way to show support and respect. It can be achieved by simply supporting, agreeing to, or confirming others actions. If you find yourself receiving no validation or credit for anything in a relationship, it should be addressed.

Negative emotions to watch for and avoid

Every relationship has its ups and downs, and some give and take. Some can be more of an emotional roller-coaster with extreme highs and lows. There will always be emotions involved in every relationship, but there are some emotions that tend to often lead to a falling out in a relationship.

According to Dr. John Gottman, there are four negative emotions that often lead to the destruction of a relationship. These are: defensiveness, stonewalling, criticism, and contempt. Among these, contempt is the most destructive. If your relationship involves someone speaking down to the other, using hurtful words, or one partner trying to put themselves higher or above the other than you should consider leaving.

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If you decide that your relationship isn’t working out and want to end it. Make sure you end the relationship properly.