Casanova Shrugged

And Now a Word From Our Sponsor...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 03:13:00 +0000

Good evening.

My name is Rene' Guerrero.

I know you're probably wondering a myriad of things at this point... That is, of course, taking for granted that, if you are indeed reading these words, you have an interest, however vested it may or may not be, in the views expressed here by the man known as Johnny Cordova.

Where has he been? Why haven't we heard from him? And who, pardon my French, the fuck, are you? I assure you in the next few moments I will answer any and all of theses questions to the best of my humble ability.

Let me say first that Mr. Cordova, though slightly worn and damaged, is still here in his hometown of Southern Babylon (affectionately known as Dallas, Texas) and is, in his own inimitable way, in fine spirits. He has chosen to take this holiest of seasons to hibernate and strengthen himself for the onslaught of 2011. Which we all know will be a world-wide reenactment of the film Battle for the Planet of the Apes. Get your federation-issued costumes soon.

Secondly, he stopped contributing to this humble platform in the wake of a most devastating loss. A beloved family member was taken from this world by lung cancer and it almost torn his soul apart. It is a horrible thing to see a demon cry. And though I somewhat jest when I refer to Mr. Cordova in such a way, he would admit, perhaps even relish the thought, of playing the role of tormentor to a society that chooses vanity over sanity. Fear not, though this platform for views and opinions, Casanova Shrugged, may change in some superficial ways, I assure you it will remain a beacon in the light of darkness; cultural, moral, political, and social.

Thirdly, I, Rene' Guerrero, am the creator of all things Cordovan. Johnny and I had a long talk over the last few months and we decided it was in our best collective interest to incorporate our efforts and jointly utilize this forum to honor the homeland, so to speak. The homeland being our realities, collective and individual as they may or may not be.

In the 14 months since this blog was last updated, while Johnny slept the sleep of the dead, I personally wrote a 477-page, 104, 563-word historical paranormal thriller entitled White Rock that was completed on December 16 this year, 2010. It is the adaptation to screenplay I wrote two years ago when both Johnny and I found ourselves ousted from the evil Media Empire and left to survive by our wits. You will hear more about this project as the months progress. The rebellion will not fail.

Also, we will start the process of getting our legal paperwork in place, creating an LLC to produce this as a feature film in the next 24 months.

It's an exciting year of growth here at Casanova Shrugged. I thank you all for your patronage and will do all in my power as CEO to make sure you don't go without the Cordova Edge for so long again.

Thanks for your attention.

Let the games...

begin...

R

(Posted by J. Rene' Guerrero)

"What the Fuck??" And Other Marvelous Tag Lines of the Modern Age

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 01:16:00 +0000

Three weeks ago yours truly participated in a panel that was asked to address the students at the Arts Institute here in Southern Babylon. The group was comprised of some of the most highly regarded media professionals in the city; producers, voice-over agents, casting agents, and writers. I have yet to figure out what the hell I was doing there. As a matter of fact, one of the first things out of my mouth was that I was undoubtedly the only panel member who was NOT currently working in his/her industry. I was expecting peals of laughter. What I got instead was the sound of crickets chirping. I jest. Actually, the kids were totally cool and by the end of the seminar I got a line of would-be writers asking me a myriad of questions, many of which I didn't have the answers to. Since I'm still searching for representation myself, I chose to stress integrity in writing, responsibility in journalism, and writing about what you know. They seemed genuinely inspired and impressed. I was pleased to share what I could with these young people. I hope I helped positively shape their futures in some infinitesimal way.

Lately I've heard and read of about dozens of cases of friends and family alienating one another over political discussions. Socialism verses liberty, etc... Seriously, folks, we all need to realize that what is good for, let's say, a family of four is disaster for someone like me: early forties, heterosexual, who has no desire to sire children WHATSOEVER. What many of you people think was a wonderful time in American history (the ill-fated Bush years) was in reality a witch hunt for people like me. You and I are natural enemies. Stands to reason that your political beliefs are not going to gel with other members of society including your friends and family. We are becoming a very definable chaste system; stubborn, prejudicial, and full of spite and bitterness towards those who do not share our chosen lifestyle. This is AMERICA, folks, remember? Land of the free? Home of the Knave? We need to realize that, for better or for worse, we will never be a society that emulates one another. And that's a good thing... isn't it? Hello?? It's only the crux of what the forefathers of this country planned... And now these tenets are being encroached upon by the self-righteous sense of entitlement of the breeder sect towards the rest of us who are not so procreatively inclined. Where does the perversion of it all stop? We have become a society of predators. People in the city are rude, expectant, demanding, and anything but loving of one another. Hell, just drive from one end of Southern Babylon to the other. The inconsideration, the gall, the total black hole of generosity that people exist in even while driving on the Interstate is enough to piss off the pope.

Seriously, people, if you're going to hate a friend or family member hate them for a reason, not because of their political affiliations. Take my mother for example. She's a crazy fucking bitch who has spent both our entire lives fucking me up, filling me with guilt and insecurities that have all but destroyed my initiative and she refuses to accept she's the main reason I'm a fucking basket case. Now that is a reason if I've ever heard of one. I shudder to think even if God came down and made her the chairwoman of His own nationalist party that would save this dying civilization and restore peace in the galaxy she would still be the most evil, passive/aggressive cunt on the face of the Earth where I'm concerned. So much for your social barometers... I'll borrow a bit of philosophy from the Rocco-fascists:

If you're going to hate, hate with REASON, and hate with all your heart.

And to that I will add: But please, don't hate just out of fear of the unknown. Like so many parents across the nation who probably for the first time in their pathetic lives were up in arms over the viewing of President Obama's address targeted to school children. For God's Sake, people, we're talking THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES here not some crack-selling nigger from the wrong side of town wearing a trench coat who wants to talk to your children. What is wrong with you people? If that idiot Bush wanted to talk to your children you would have sent them all to Neverland Farm for cake and soda pop and whatever else he wanted to fill them with, wouldn't you?? Are you people afraid that your parenting skills are sadly lacking? Do you fear your children might wake up and realize that they are smarter than you and dare stand up for themselves? Here in Southern Babylon parents even called the private schools and threatened to take their little honey bee's out of the fucking institutions if they dared to broadcast the speech in class. If it had been Ronald Reagan things would have been different though, right?? Idiots... I'm ashamed to be human because of you ignorant miscreants. It shows so much more about you parents than it does your civil rights or the sanctity of family virtues or that 'heroin-selling jigaboo in the White House'. Have you people no shame??

Here is the text of the speech he will give tomorrow morning. All you protesting parents should be ashamed of yourselves, seriously...

Obama Speech to Kids

All I have to say is WHAT THE FUCK were you guys thinking?? I love that saying. What an amazingly original 21st century piece of vernacular. 'WHAT THE FUCK?'. You would think that by 2009 with our technology that we'd be walking on moving sidewalks, driving cars running on hydro-electric power, wiping out cancer and starvation. Instead we are spending 11 BILLION on the fucking Olympics, wasting time with hybrid cars, bailing out Wall Street and Detroit, and still pretending we are the saviors of the world. The best thing to come out of the 21st Century so far is YouTube and vernacular tidbits of wisdom like 'What the Fuck?' (or it's Internet cousin FTW). It proves only that the philosophy of my favorite show Mad Men is prevalent: Life is just the search for the perfect tag line.

I have been procrastinating again. I should be banging out the re-writes for my screenplay so I can get my boys chasing down a few dollars instead of playing footsie (and lipsie and inner-thighsie) with my love interest and adding to my Netflix cue. I should be slaying those query letters and sculpting my resume to start looking for another producer position. Instead I'm half-ass working out, dreaming of fame and fortune, and coming up with a list of future writing projects that I may or may not ever start, much less finish, if I don't buck up and act like a writer. And I don't mean by sleeping with women half my age, drinking my weight in vodka weekly, and maintaining a very un-healthy drug addiction. No, what I need to do is WRITE. In blood, in phonetics, in pig Latin... WHATEVER. I just need to staple my brown ass to the chair and put some words on the digital page.

I hope everyone is well. I've seen that I've lost about 10 followers on Twitter lately. Apparently I'm not funny/sexy/stupid enough to keep some people's attention. C'est la vie, lovers. You all were probably boring lays anyway...

It's Labor Day (whatever that means) and I'm sure many are out there becoming traffic fatality statistics or DUI's. Thin that herd, yall. I am opting to staying in and at least attempt to get something done. I'd like to see the new documentary with Jack White, the Edge from U2, and Jimmy Page called "It Might Get Loud" at some point, but I can't justify wasting time and money at this point. Maybe on Wednesday...

So, my computers boot disk has a virus. Yes, I'm still using a PC at Moonbase Alpha but believe me it's only because of a lack of financial latitude, not preference, I assure you. I'm trying to purchase a used new iMac just so I can write unencumbered by digital gremlins. We're trying to work out the details now. I've had some problems getting my financial shit together so it's looking like I'll get the iMac next week. Not bad, $800 for the machine PLUS a brand-spanking new My Book 500GB WD external drive that is still in the shrink-wrap. The warrantee is gone on the machine but it looks like it's never been used. And the best part of it, even though I'm wallowing in semi-poverty, I don't have to rely on irresponsible responsible parties to assist me in acquiring it. I won't go into details because it's exhausting for me but let's just say that my insane mother is behind a failed thwart of this transaction and though it will take me an extra week to get it, in less than two weeks that machine will be all mine. Confused? Consider yourselves lucky. If any of you have crazy, self-righteous parents who will more than likely rise from the grave to try to run your life than you can have some idea of what I go through on what I would never again allow to be a daily basis.

To end on an up-note: I shot camera on a crew in Denton, Tx Friday night for the band Oso Closo. This band won the Chipotle Burrito competition by submitting a video and song. Their prize was 10 grand in cash and the honor of having the "Oso Closo Burrito" placed on the menu. This is that winning video (which I did NOT shoot). I hope you like it. And look for these cats- they are amazing!!

Cheers on your last day of an extended vacation. I'm off to do re-writes on the screenplay. See you soon...

JC

Film Review: Fissure

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 09 Aug 2009 03:49:00 +0000

No matter at what level, what the budget is, who is starring/directing/writing/producing there is one unwavering truth in the film industry: it is incredibly difficult to shoot a feature film. Period. That being said, it is even MORE difficult to shoot a good feature film, and by good I am implying that 3 major elements are present: competent, interpretive camera work, believable acting/staging, and a compelling story. Everything else is forgivable. Inappropriate costuming can be shrugged off as modernization or stylized art direction. Bad lighting can be dismissed and elevated as camera obscura or the herald of a new lighting trend. Even sound is expendable, depending on the genre. Personally, having an extensive background in sound and composition, I would have preferred to include good audio in the list but a film, in its purest form, should be able to stand on the merit of its images alone. If the nuts and bolts are there, the creature will walk. And of course, money doesn’t make a good film. (Anyone remember “Waterworld” or Spielberg’s “War of the Worlds” or Peter Jackson’s “King Kong” or “The Last Samurai” or “Valkyrie” or…?) Ok, I won’t go all esoteric film snob on you, but what I’m trying to state is, hey, filmmaking isn’t brain surgery, but it’s probably the closest thing you can get to it without nurses, knives and clean rooms.

Filmmaking is ESPECIALLY difficult when you are a first-time director making a feature film in a city that in the not-so-distant past has been much less than supportive to even big studio projects much less the local independent producer. The city fathers seemed at one point to decide that this city would focus on oil and healthcare for its financial identity, not the devil’s work like filmmaking and art. This is Dallas, son, not Paris! Add to all of these obstacles the hurdles of working in a sagging economy, the learning curve for legal/distribution/managing investors while at the same time dealing with the building blocks of casting/rehearsals/locations, AND the long list of details that every young director must learn while on the task of celluloid alchemy... What we end up with resembles more of an endurance test than an act of artistic creation. For many, filmmaking is a right of passage equivalent to ritual scarification, even circumcision… (ok, maybe I got a little carried away…) But the skinny is: it’s no walk in the park, kiddies. Making movies takes determination, sheer will, organization, and good old-fashioned thick skin.

Director Russ Pond

FISSURE, (http://fissurethemovie.com) the first feature by Dallas-based director Russ Pond, has its first North Texas screening Tuesday July 21, 2009, just two years after the cameras first began to roll here in Dallas (not far from my apartment) and one year after it debuted at the AFI Dallas Film Festival in 2008. The film is a well-shot subtle science-fiction thriller that won “Best Locally-Made Film” in 2008 from the Fort Worth Weekly and “Best Lead Performance” from Hollywood First Glance. And rightfully so.

James MacDonald as Detective Paul Grunning

The story centers on character-actor James MacDonald as Detective Paul Grunning, an injured officer who has just returned to the force after a personal tragedy. He unknowingly steps into a complex maze of alternate realities when investigating a routine domestic disturbance. MacDonald is a familiar face who is usually cast to play law enforcement types. He has been in a handful of features including “Phone Booth” and “Hollywood Homicide” and also has an impressive television resume which includes “ER”, “NYPD Blue”, “CSI: Miami”, “Weeds”, and even “Sex and the City”. FISSURE is his first lead role and he takes the opportunity to infuse the character with his brand of “sensitive tough-guy” that he does so well. He is the life blood of this film and seeing his performance alone is well worth the price of admission.

Russ Pond with Todd Terry

While on the subject of talent, a secondary character, Tyler, played by Texas actor Todd Terry, has probably 30 seconds of screen-time in a flash-back but leaves a lasting impression as an ex-con in a desperate situation. I wish there was more of his performance in the script. Watch for this guy. He's brilliant.

Crystal Mantecon as Rachel

I felt that a pivotal character, the female lead, played by Dallas actor Crystal Mantecon, was not used fully, or at least not to my liking. Perhaps more of her role ended up on the cutting room floor, but what I saw from her didn’t do her justice given the breadth of her talent. Crystal has a smart logical appeal but unfortunately the industry tends to dumb down most females roles. This part called for a multi-dimensional characterization and that is not what I saw on screen. In the press releases the character of Rachel is described as seductive. Cute, definitely. A temptress in sexy eye-wear? I didn’t really get that from her performance. It felt like her character couldn’t make up her mind if she was a damsel in distress or a brainy co-ed with a secret. Luckily, with the lines she’s given, either interpretation works. Just not both simultaneously.

The story itself keeps you guessing, though the payoff at the end, for me, was slightly lacking. The script could have used some tightening ( the incessant running from room to room in did not equate suspense) and at times the pacing was a little forced for me, but all in all it is an excellent first release.

Director of Photography Alan Lefebvre

The look of the film is what sold me. There’s nothing like the combination of a talented DP and a good film colorist to create a compelling modern visual identity. The Director of Photography Alan Lefebvre captured some wonderful images that suggest a slightly altered reality. The interiors are tight and somewhat claustrophobic which adds to the tension of the scenes. The exteriors are warm with a slight soft focus vignette that make the autumn golds and blues seem to shimmer with their own life. There is a beautiful shot where Grunning returns to the home of the disturbance after re-living a pinnacle moment in his past. As he gets out of the car the elevated camara dollies forward and follows him back to the mysterious house. The shot is full of emotion and a high point in the visual storytelling in the film.

A few things left me wanting more. In the film because of an unseen force people are described as being ripped apart from the inside out as they cross these invisible barriers in time. None of this ever makes it to camera, except for some bloody spittle on MacDonalds’s chin towards the climax. Also, there are references to an "institute" that the ill-fated Mr. Ulster works for doing, you guessed it, "classified" research which we never see either. Not even a white coat nor a security pass. Yes, it’s a bit of the “Theater of the Mind” in play here that makes the viewer imagine what is happening, but one good shot of someone disintegrating would have made me happy. For a science fiction thriller, the landscape is practically devoid of special FX, except for a single low-level timewarp shot that was right out of Stargate. And for someone raised in the 80s where less is less and more is MORE, I wanted MORE. I can't help but think that with a sizable budget this script easily could have been a summer block-buster (or at least a Labor Day holiday release) vehicle for Keanu Reeves (perish the thought) or some flavor of the week filled with time-shifting effects and a self-aware techonolgy that threatens to take out the world. Alas, in this incarnation the film is more of a clever character study that simply nods to the implied catastrophe that we never get to actually lay our eyes upon. Where as the unseen was more frightening than the revealed in "The Blair Witch Project" (the original, that is), the lack of a tangible "monster" (i.e. VISIBLE THREAT) in Fissure left me feeling a little jilted. Even in "The Andromeda Strain" (1971 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0066769/) though the threat was microscopic we were shown the horrible things this other-worldly organism could do. Call me an ambulance chaser, but I want to see the mash-up.

Another thing that I found a little annoying at times was the sound design. The abundant use of the Hollywood-style ‘swoosh’ and frenetic string glissandos used to enhance intense scenes were a little distracting and, in at least one point in the film, downright funny. A little elevated ambient room noise and a low-end hum can do wonders for a tense scene where forced sound effects can distract. But then again I am a filmmaker so I am both condemning as well as forgiving.

In a press roundtable interview at Hotel ZaZa last month I asked director Russ Pond what his follow-up project would be and he said that a children’s film was next in consideration. It didn’t surprise me in the least. Children’s films have the highest percentage of return on investment. Of course, making films is a business and you have to sell product to stay in the market, but I half-hoped Russ would have chosen to stay in the thriller genre and try to raise everything up a notch. I think Russ is a talented director and would love to see what he could do if the gloves were off, there were no punches pulled and he attacked a project without the hindrances of investor expectations, ratings, and budgetary concessions… That, I think, would be an amazing film.

I don’t attempt to take away from his success with Fissure. By all means, he should be revered as a hero in the indie filmmaking populace of Dallas. He has succeeded with the help of a visionary marketing team led by Brandon Jones of Indigenous Films and Kelly Kitchens to release an excellent first project that has raised the bar for low-budget independent filmmaking in Texas.

The marketing team embraced technology and used social media platforms like FaceBook (http://www.facebook.com/pages/Fissure/9676621281) and Twitter to self-promote the film with amazing results. Simply by sending out event invitations on FB they successfully filled the theater to 80% capacity for their first non-festival screening in Portland, Oregon, a city that literally no one on the team had any previous ties to. Now that is impressive. The producers also decided to upload snippets of the film to the website to create a buzz and whet your appetite to see the entire feature. Literally, the first 30 minutes of the film are being offered in short webisodes you can see here: http://fissure.tv/

Is this a perfect film? No. But then again the concept of perfection is entirely subjective. Perception is reality. The holes are only apparent if you are looking for them. There are some lacking performances (the entire Ulster family is mis-cast and have no chemistry whatsoever) and a few technical issues (cameras seen in reflections, over-use of audio effects), but Fissure does one thing amazingly well- it raises the bar for independent filmmaking across the board. It illustrates what can happen when art is refined through a business mind and sculpted into a marketable project by passionate and conscientious craftsmen.

Does the film entertain? It caters to a Hollywood mentality, but, yes, it beats out 80% of the swill you’ll glance over on the rental shelves this weekend. Will the film change your life? Probably not, unless you are a filmmaker. Then perhaps it will open up a world of possibilities and light a fire under your ass. And really, when was the last time ANY film did that for you?

Fissure is making the rounds in the festival circuit but it is being released direct-to-disk this month. It is available on Netflix, Blockbuster, and Amazon starting on Tuesday August 11. So get it in your cues, kiddies, and get ready to enjoy the best fare to come out of Dallas since Fletchers Corny Dogs. And no, that's not a movie...

JC says ‘Check it out’…

"Fissure" Trailer

Shorts, volume 2

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 20:54:00 +0000

It's that time again, my loves. Time to check out my shorts...

******

SARAH PALIN

The website www.AlaskaReport.com was the first to report that Sarah Palin was running for governor of Alaska and the first website to report that Sarah was picked as John McCain's VP candidate. It is also the first to state that Todd and Sarah Palin are filing for divorce after a National Enquirer story exposed previous affairs on both ends. Sarah, my love, you're entire empire of lies is falling down around your ears. At least that will ruin your chances to run for president in 2012 and that is good enough for me. But apparently you recently signed a book deal worth an estimated 11 million and that really shows the stupidity of the American people and what they choose to feed themselves with. Personally, who WOULDN'T cheat on Sarah Palin? I mean, she's a hot piece of ass and all but for Gideon's sake, could you let up on the holier-than-thou attitude? If you came out and said you just want to be EMPEROR of the WORLD I'd respect you more than I do you're constant demanding for respect. Respect is like sex appeal: you either have it or you don't. Respect is bestowed on people who are not LOOKING for it. Sex appeal is not necessarily based on looks but either way you have to have SOMETHING radiating from you. You can't demand people to get a hard-on for you (though in your case, you've given us all US males a woody since you arrived on the scene two years ago), sexually or otherwise. But you played the part of the MILF beautifully and even pulled the wool over the GOPs eyes for a while. Thank God the drugs are wearing off...

(And regardless if this story is true or not, it fucking should be...)

Here she is talking shit yet once again. Cool lighting though...

Sarah Palin on "hurt feelings" from Dennis Zaki on Vimeo.

******
THE MARS VOLTA

The Mars Volta has a new release entitled Into the Octahedron. The first video is called Since We've Been Wrong and is just amazing. Though not yet on YouTube it can be seen here:

Since We've Been Wrong

A blend of prog-rock, post-punk, jazz fusion, and Latin influences,TMV, won a Grammy in 2009 for "Best Hard Rock Performance" for "Wax Simulacra". They formed in 2001 by guitarist Omar Rodriguez-Lopez and vocalist Cedric Bixler-Zavala. Cedric sounds like the hip re-incarnation of Freddie Mercury with an english degree. Intense conceptual lyrics over a cacophony of progressive instrumental mastery with all the cock-rock posturing and frizzy afros you can take, the Volta is praised for their energetic impromptu performances as much as their brilliance in the studio. You probably won't hear them at the next family barbecue but do your inner music snob a favor and check them out.

Here's "Wax Simulacra" live. Dig it.

******

JENNIFER'S BODY

And this looks like an interesting offering: teen temptress Megan Fox playing the part of a possessed high-school girl with a taste for blood... And how far from the truth do you thing THAT bit of type-casting is?? I would venture to say writer Diablo Cody (who, there is no doubt, if given the slightest chance, I would fuck into oblivion) didn't even have to make any of it up. The director is Karyn Kusama who wrote and helmed the indie pseudo-hit of 2000 "Girlfight" and the beautiful but useless "Aeon Flux" in 2005. It should be interesting, if you're into possessed vixens with a distaste for clothing...

******
CORALINE

Neil Gaiman's gothic child's nightmare"Coraline" was released this last week on DVD. It's a frightening animated tale of a young precocious girl who finds a door in her family's new house that leads her to her OTHER life where everything seems to be wonderful. The key word in that sentence is 'seems'... This film is not for children under 12 but is a wonderfully scary trip to the other side of your imagination. JC says "Check it out."

And I suppose that is it for the shorts this week... Look for my review of Russ Pond's "Fissure" this weekend on Casanova Shrugged. And that means TOMORROW.

♠ JC

Let me show you my shorts...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 01:09:00 +0000

Welcome to my shorts. This is not a rambling post like most of my work but rather a quickie, though God knows I prefer LONGIES... Ah, what were we talking about?? Oh, yes, posts... A few quick points of interest that are either too convoluted or just not deserving of an entire post. Like little gems that you find that are worth remembering but not worth changing your life over. This is a new segment and I hope you like it.

I saw a wonderful film last week called "Whatever Works". This film is really a blast (at least I enjoyed it). Woody Allen wrote it some 30 years ago and Larry David from Curb Your Enthusiasm has breathed some great new life into it. JC says, "Check it out..."

I saw Duncan Jones' "MOON" this weekend. For those of you who don't know, he is David Bowie's son. The film borrows from some of the greatest films in the genre: 2001: A Space Odyssey, Solaris, even a little Invasion of the Body Snatchers. A very intense and believable first project for Jones.

Yours truly interviewed the director and the lead actor of a local Dallas film entitled "FISSURE" this last Tuesday. I got my screening copy the night before and have been trying to catch up with my review ever since. I'll post it sometime tomorrow, Saturday the 26th. I'll also be posting the interview in video later next week. Until then, here's the trailer and some press off of YouTube. I hope you enjoy it...

And, after a sweltering weekend of no AC, the compressor at my apartments is once again fixed and it's starting to cool down. Fucking finally.

OK, gotta run. My friend Hunter Sullivan is singing at the Mansion tonight and I'm meeting a group of people there and for dinner before hand. Yes, I know, I know, but even enigmas need a little socializing. Have a great Friday and see you soon.

JC

Holidays, Gravestones, and the Destruction of Life as We Know It.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 14:40:00 +0000

Yes, I know the 4th of July is gone. Thank the heavens. I have a thing about expendable holidays. I think Americans are a little too liberal with their celebrations and after Mother’s Day, Labor Day, Father’s Day, and Memorial Day I’m pretty fed up by the time the 4th comes around. Besides, it’s the beginning of the HEAT in Dallas that will last the rest of the year. A friend from up north wrote and said she hopes the heat wave will pass soon. I told her it will… in February. And though I love fireworks I’m not really into standing around watching things explode surrounded by drunk, smelly, obnoxious, sweaty rude strangers. What is it about the 4th that brings out the inner “Deliverance” hillbilly in most people? Ugh. Oh, well, God bless Americana….

As for all the celebs dying lately, you know these people had to go sometime. It’s not like it’s the fucking Black Plague or anything. Anyway, I’m all for thinning the herd. And who best to go than fucked-up celebrities? I don’t care what you think about Michael Jackson’s legacy, the dude was a fucking ALIEN. And the universe, or at least our solar system, is a lot safer with him moving on… And if I hear Man in the Mirror one more time I think I might choke myself. Carradine was the strangest. I mean, what’s a 70-year-old man doing hanging from a pole in a closet with rope around his genitals? Ah, never mind, I don’t really want to know. Sounds like the beginning of a Tarantino film to me. As for Farrah Fawcett, poor thing. What kind of karma would you have to pay to have something eat you alive from the ass outward? (ah, no snickering out there, please…) She should have married Ryan O’Neal when she had the chance. As for Steve McNair, that fucker deserved it. I mean, cheating on your wife with children at home is one thing, but fucking a psycho-billy 20-year-old WHITE GIRL is like kneeling in front of a subway train begging to be run over. Stupid. Motherfucker. Karl Malden was one guy who I’ll miss. Good actor. And who the fuck really cares about Billy Mays, except maybe his family? I mean, really, do you people watch THAT much television to have actually bonded with the spokesman for Oxi-Clean?? Come on. NO ONE made a stink when Dave, the guy from Wendy’s, died a few years back. What misplaced priorities… And Ed McMahon will be missed, surely. What a recognizable voice and face of the Tonight Show long before Mr. Potatohead Jay Leno and Conan O’Brian stepped up to the plate.

I was talking to my dear friend about the glut of social media conferences offered out there by these self-proclaimed gurus lately. The reality is you people need to get a fucking job. And your new career choice of ‘media guru’ is appalling at best. I saw an advertisement that said for ONLY $695 you can come and be part of a MEDIA EVENT in Chicago. No, airfare is not included. Nor hotel. And I’m sure alcohol is not included either. That’s just to get your pimpled ass in the door. And why? To listen to a LIST of “media professionals” talk about how social media is changing the world. Seriously. In many ways you all are simply prostitutes, making money off the delusional, ill-informed, and under-exposed. Now more than ever the adage stands true: those who can, DO. And those who can’tTEACH… social media. You’re all a bunch of snake-oil salesmen to me. Actually, I take that back; it's unfair to the snake. At least I can jack off with snake oil…

Are you ready for the truth, children? Wait for it… Ok, here it comes. Sitting down, lovers???

ATTENTION WALMART WRITERS:

Social media and the internet has DESTROYED our way of life.

It has destroyed the economy for media professionals (and by that I mean REAL PROFESSIONALS who actually PRODUCE CONTENT, not the mommy-bloggers nor the gurus who are raping people for the right to regurgitate the same information that can be found on everyone else’s blog). The Internet itself has crippled the human race sexually (by the introduction of over-the-top porn), socially (by alienating us from real human contact), and psychologically by giving us delusions of grandeur by feeding our egos three squares a day plus snacky-snacks in between. We are all now OBESE MEDIA GLUTTONS.Technological freedom has truly become our slavery. The thing we cling to the closest is what is destroying us. By embracing this quantum leap in communication technology, as much as you hate to admit it, we have doomed ourselves. And every time I read one of you people’s aimless, cutsie blog entries I realize that I am the Omega Man surrounded by the living dead. And I’d rather shoot myself in the head than be one of you.

I am a writer. Like Milton. Like Chaucer. Like Henry Miller. Like Lovecraft. I have life experiences (and some prejudices) which far exceed most of you and I’m able to communicate my thoughts and stories in appealing diatribes that entertain, educate, and inform. I do intense research even in my fiction to make sure that it is viable and not some convoluted shadow of truth that my sick ego just happened to deem real. And what isYOUR work based on? What are YOU writing about? Most of you aspire to be the Rachel Ray of social media when your characters (meaning your personas) are less than human, more of a stereotype, an amalgamation of humanity , than a true representation of the many facets of the human psyche, really.

What I’m hearing from potential publishers is that the market is totally FLOODED with self-help/internet marketing/mommy-blogger-fueled projects. Thank GOD that is not what I write. However, my question to you all is:

What in God’s name do you Cretins possibly have to write about??

It’s not like it’s one long Twitter post, folks. A book is a BOOK. Like Moby Dick. Like Catcher in the Rye. Like Altas Shrugged. What most of you guys do barely makes a decent crank phone call or grocery list much less a serious contribution to the human legacy. Seriously, it reminds me when Non-Linear Editing systems came en force to the market about 5 years ago and people who bought them, coupled with a decent digital camera, immediately called themselves filmmakers. Now, I’m not going to shit on the ‘less is more’ philosophy of filmmaking, but let’s be real:

Just because you own a Ferrari doesn’t mean you can drive it

Possessing the technology tricked these people into thinking they had the insight, the nuance, the story-telling skills, the gift of creating dramatic tension when really all they had was a cool new toy that they didn’t have the desire to really learn to play with correctly. Same thing here. Now that EVERYONE has a blog and enough free time to post the most mundane things they do in their lives, they think people really give a shit. The worse part of it is that you people are actually getting readers. And it shows more about the diluted tastes of the internet masses than your wicked prose skills, believe me.

There is one thing I get from reading the glut of blogs out there simmering in the ether: most of you people are not individuals. You would be NOTHING without other people. You live and work and love and fuck and breed and write and educate and create by COMMITTEE. All of this activity is not a literary wave sweeping the nation, it’s a world-wide fucking support group for geeks, a global 12-step enabling program for breeders and over/under-sexed ignored souls to flourish their egos and get their 15 minutes of fame. You people are delusional. And you know why you all are having such “success”? Because your readers are JUST LIKE YOU. Great pretenders. And that therein lies the problem… Personally, I would rather have one intelligent reader than an army of mental invalids licking my ass. Just saying…

Social media is a tool that must be used with some amount of responsibility. A Tweet came out a few months back saying that Jeff Goldblum died. The poor guy had to go on a talk show to prove to the world he was still alive. It’s amazing how gullible you people are. The more I think about it, the more I believe the atmosphere is totally ripe for another Orsen Wells to rise out of the mist and fabricate something AMAZING to scare the quantum shit out of all you people. Maybe not alien invaders but SOMETHING to shake up our self-righteous and juvenile society. Turn the world inside out, if you will.

I have a brilliant friend of mine who I used to be in a band with over a decade ago. Somewhere during our rise to recognition (and we were good, too, you mothers. It took a while but we were definitely on to something…) he decided that he wanted money instead of fame, left the act, and started singing standards for a living. Now that he’s making 100k+ a year as a glorified wedding singer, I think it's safe to say he’s probably miserable. All he wishes for is the chance to do something of VALUE, something creatively redemptive that will fill those enormous holes in his soul that his wife, his son, and all of his “adoring” fans will never, ever fill: artistic integrity. Remember what I said 20 years ago, dude: You cannot have your cake eat it too. Street cred comes from paying the piper, not paying him off… I will always love my friend but I have realized that he and I are simply natural enemies.

I suppose you could say I’m smug in the knowledge that I have spent my life fighting the good fight, not giving into the temptation to dilute my essence and go the way of the masses, trying desperately to please everyone and succeeding in pleasing few, least of all myself. Yes, I’m a 43-year-old grown ass man who lives like a college student but in many ways it’s kept me young and hungry. Not to trade stocks or currency to make money without ACTUALLY WORKING or any of that shit. No, it’s made me still hungry enough to chase that illusive dream of personal success. And regardless what anyone tells you, personal success does not always equate with financial success. Therefore, I am fortifying my efforts to find a literary agent to represent me as a talent. I WILL be published within the next two years and will live ENTIRELY on my own merit. I can’t even imagine getting married, much less having children, when there are scores of goals I still have yet to reach. And as selfish as it may sound, those goals are more important to me than all the dirty diapers and vomit and stuffed animals and drunk wife episodes under the harvest moon. At least I'll die knowing that, even if I never make it, that I never gave up, that I put my money where my mouth is, and I lived the integrous life of an artist to the very end. And even if I am never remembered when I pass like so many celebrities that have come and gone, I will know that my time here was pure and untainted by the stigma of humanity: settling for something less than what I deserve.

Ok, I’m done. I don’t feel the need to coddle you today. You are grown-ups. Supposedly. I’m off to do battle with the world. A fight I am more than happy to engage in…

JC

The Destruction of the World Part 3… oh, and Father’s Day…

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 21:47:00 +0000

First of all, I have to say my main man Roland Emmerich’s new film 2012 is right on the mark. Death to humanity as we know it has always been an obsession of mine. I am jealous that he’s had such luck to kill off hundreds of thousands of people in his relatively short career. Independence Day was about aliens attempting to take over the Earth, where entire cities were destroyed. The Day After Tomorrow told about the next Ice Age.

*heavy sigh*

I’m soo jealous… God, why do you mock me???

Secondly, it’s Father’s Day. And for some reason that resonates so much more with me than “Mother’s Day”, since my mother chooses to be a critical, vindictive source of stress and guilt in my life. Not that my father is a saint. Please. He’s far from it. And I think what endears me to him is that fact that he doesn’t try to pretend he’s this pious steaming pile of rose-scented shit that I should ingest by the ladle-full simply because he was unlucky enough to not pull out some 43 years ago. No, he’s always been the one to embrace his kink, take his whippings, and continue on like a good staff infection. No apologies, no tears, just on to the next battle.

I have learned so much from my father. Not just his simplistic lizard-brain approach to life in modern society but also his impulsiveness, his prejudice, his sex-addiction, his charm, his affability, his sincerity… I wouldn’t be who I am without his support and love.

I would hope that if Karma ever catches up with me and God decides to punish my eternal deflections with the malodorous task of actually fathering a human larvae, that I would be at least as honestly indifferent and passionately confused about the task as my father was/is.

So after a nice brunch at a quaint little place called Buzz Brews here in Dallas, I am once again back at home thankful for my father and the fact that he would rather be at home watching the golf open then be running around with the crazy masses trying to pretend to want to hang in the hot Dallas sun. Not that my father doesn’t want to spend time with me, but we both know that he should do what HE wants to do, not what I nor anyone else should expect him to want. And I respect that. Truly.

So happy father’s day to all you idiots who were too drunk to pull out on time. Enjoy your day- you get so few of them all to yourself…

*heavy sigh*

JC

Life At the Shooting Range: Memoires from the Target

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 19 May 2009 23:52:00 +0000

I have been absent for about two months from this blog. I'm sure most of you couldn't care less. But in that time I found myself stretching the boundaries of my creativity, fostering a growing love affair (no, not just with myself, asshole), and was threatened for the first time with life-endangering parasites. Kind of like if Han Solo went out on his own and started a film franchise based not on the balancing zen/Enter-the-Dragon-esque charms of the Force but rather the sinister, seductive, and secular route of spacey piracy... (hey, let me write that one down... Lucas fucking NEEDS an idea...) Except my journey was nowhere as exciting as one I would create. So much for life imitating art...

Now, if you are completely new to Casanova Shrugged and are too fucking lazy to skip through the ill-fated IN THE NEWS TODAY segments to get to the heart of what this blog is about, (though I must admit there are some little editorial gems there worth mining), then let me tell you I have just recently finished what I consider to be the greatest project I've ever written. It is a screenplay, a ghost-story set in the 1960's in Dallas, Tx, my current location and hometown (if you must know). I had a deadline that I more-or-less made at the first of May (first WEEK of May is the same thing, kiddies). We have investor interest but, like everything in this God-forsaken industry, we'll see what happens. But this is the real deal, yall. I have put everything I have into this and I'll stand behind it. But that doesn't mean it won't be panned by every company out there. There is, truly, in this industry more than most, no accounting for Taste. But still I throw myself out there like a battered wife that can't stand to lose.

For those interested, here's a small taste of what it's like...

FLASHBACK.
INT. OLD HILTON INN - NIGHT

A young Andrásné Szabó is talking to a friend behind the hotel. The man hands him a name tag that said Bora.
Next, he is in a waiters uniform carrying a case of wine up to a very solid security door. He knocks in a pattern. The door opens and he steps into a dark Bridal Suite. Music is playing and people are populating the shadows as he walks through the sea of writhing bodies to the bar.

ANDRÁSNÉ SZABÓ
(narration)

I remember one night in particular. I barely made it out with my life... It was the first and last time I worked for the Jewel Club. I had picked up a shift from a guy I didn’t know very well. He said it was a VIP party, very secretive. His daughter was getting married and he couldn’t get off work or something... I had to wear his name tag and speak to no one. He said the money would be great so I agreed...

There is another patterned knock on a door. The door opens and Rose enters one of the Bridal Suites from a service entrance. She is wearing a sheer gown with bustier underneath. Her make-up is severe and sensual. The room is dark and smoky. A gorgeous blonde European woman, Madam Belle, smiles and closes the door behind her. She hugs little Rose in the dark haze and slips a pill in her hand.

ROSE DAVIS
What is this?

MADAME BELLE

They’re called Quaalude. It will help, believe me.

Don’t be afraid. These men are all VIP’s, very wealthy. They will take care of you. Just be your beautiful self...

She leans over and kisses the side of Roses’ face a little too tenderly. Rose turns and Belle pats her on the ass.

Men are everywhere touching, breathing, watching everyone and themselves. The pill is starting to take effect. Rose grabs a glass of wine off the waiters tray as he passes by and slams it. We see the waiter is a young Andrásné Szabó. Rose is walking slowly through the suite. Music is playing and couples are dancing close together in the shadows. Rose watches a group of men surround a single girl and start undoing their pants.

Rose pulls a cigarette out of her robe. Just as she’s about to light it a hand appears and strikes a silver lighter.

KEVIN FOWLER
May I?

ROSE DAVIS
Thank you.

She puffs on her cigarette and sees he is a tall lanky man in a gray suit. His hair looks like he has shoe polish in it. She notices a scar over his right cheek but doesn’t let him see her look at it. She slinks next to him. He bends down and kisses her, hard. She pulls away, coy.

ROSE DAVIS (CONT’D)
I’m Rose. I recognize you from the Fairmont. What’s your name?

KEVIN FOWLER
It’s none of your fucking business, cunt.

ROSE DAVIS
Excuse me?

The man shoves her up against the wall by the throat as he feels her up with his other hand. She can’t scream. No one can see that she’s in danger. She struggles for a bit and then kicks him in the balls. He doubles over and lets her go.
He straightens up and storms out of the entrance knocking others over in his haste to get out the door.
Rose runs to the back of the apartment where the madame Eva stands.

MADAME BELLE
Rose?

ROSE DAVIS
Belle, I can’t do it! He tried to strangle me. Help me!

MADAME BELLE
Baby...

She puts her arm around the shivering girl .
The security man Burke walks up and grabs Rose by the wrist. She screams and pulls away.

MADAME BELLE (CONT’D)
She’s just a kid, Burke, for Christ’s sake!

BURKE
Whatever. Tonight she’s an entertainer. And everybody here has to be entertained... At least once...

MADAME BELLE
Let me fix her up. She’ll be along. Go.

She shoos him and he reluctantly walks away.
Belle pulls out a wad of bills from her robe pocket and gives it to Rose.

MADAME BELLE (CONT’D)
Here. Take it, little one. And go. Tonight is not for you.

ROSE DAVIS
Thank you. I’m so sorry.

MADAME BELLE
Go. And don’t come back...

...And that's all you get. I hope it sparked your interest. Of course, I have to save the really good stuff for the film. But you can see the level of intensity. It's OK. It's been registered with the Writer's Guild of America for a week now.

I had some friends come in town a few weeks ago and went out and totally over-did myself. After the binge, I started having strange traveling pains in my abdomen. Now, being the product of a fucked-up childhood I am what I would politely refer to as a total head case when it comes to personal health and safety. Being my mother's son, I am easily the worst hypochondriac that I know, even though I rarely take medication of any sort unless it's homeopathic. I am, in all probability, undiagnosed ADD and depressive yet somehow live my life without chemicals (not including pot, that is) that could very well make my journey less traumatic. I just don't want to get into the habit of taking things and becoming dependent upon them. Which is funny seeing as that snorting $50 worth of cocaine every now and then or inhaling $100 bar tabs at a moments notice seems to be no problem for me whatsoever. Selective boundaries, I choose to call it. But give me a phantom pain and immediately I think either my spleen is rupturing, my appendix is about to explode, or the spiders from the Stephen King film The Mist are eating me from the inside out. Rational thinking from an intelligent creative? Not so much... But the one thing that makes me a great artist is the same thing that stops me in my tracks like a deer in headlights: a vivid and overpowering imagination.

Anyway, about 3 days later I caught a very bad cold, which wouldn't have been a problem had I not made plans to meet my lover in Venice, CA for a few days. I started popping Mexican amoxicillin like Skittles and hoped for the best. Three days later and two days before my departure I knew it was doing NOTHING for me. I took my ass to Primacare and was told that I had a massive viral infection and it was no wonder the anti-biotics weren't working. He put me on STEROIDS to knock out a bad case of bronchitis. He told me to be careful and stay away from sick people because the steroids would wipe out my immune system. The next day the news announced the on-coming threat of swine flu. Fucking great.

Somehow I made it to California without contracting the pig virus. But after another 2 days I still felt like shit. I called my ex DS who is a homeopath and she told me to get on some Arsinica Album. 2 days after that I was able to breathe and enjoyed the rest of my vacation.

When I returned to Dallas I knew that the abdominal pains hadn't subsided and went to see an internist. Ugh. Thus began a 10-day sojourn of icky and embarrassing procedures culminating in a colonoscopy.

Let me say now: Biology is disgusting.

The procedure itself was a walk in the park. It's the GALLON of sodium bicarbonate solution you have to drink in AN HOUR the night before that causes you to shit your guts out until you're passing nothing but water that disturbed me to my core. I thank the Elohim that I'm single- I couldn't imagine the embarrassment of having to do that in a house full of people! Fucking disgusting.

When I came out of the surgery my doctor said I was lucky: he found a large polyp that he removed. If we had waited another 3-4 years to get this procedure done I would surely have developed colon cancer by then. He even had pictures to show me. Ugh. I could have done without the visual aids. (and for all the Japanese in the audience- dude, there is NOTHING sexy about endoscopic video. Yuck.) There were also a series of lesions that looked like someone had taken an Exacto knife and made random cuts in my intestinal wall. So gross. And unexplainable.

The funny part was the anesthesiologist came to me afterwords and, knowing I had told him I took recreational drugs (POT), asked me what other drugs I was taking... He said he had to give me like 3 times what a normal person would have needed. So much for my love of opiates...

When I finally got diagnosed there were no gallstones, no inflamation of the liver, actually all my cholesterol and triglyceride levels were all excellent. He told me it was irritable bowel syndrome caused by...

...wait for it...

..STRESS.

Alert the fucking media. Gee, I just lost a job 3 months ago, I work in the most stressful industry next to waiting tables, and I'm a natural stress-monster. Who would have thought that it would cause my body to eat itself???

Christ on a stick...

But the good thing is I dodged a bullet. So if you guys haven't had it done yet, go in for your forty-thousand mile check-up and get it done. You'll hate it, but it could literally safe your life.

The only negative thing is I got placed on this strange medicine that I have to take with my meals that also puts me into lala land. No wonder, it's kin to Valium. If you're interested, you can read about it here:

Chlordiazepoxide

Some crazy shit. And I can't drink much on it. It totally puts me out after a couple beers. I'm sooo not happy.

So much for modern medicine. The truth is I think I was infected by the government so as to get me on some psychotropic medicine to take my edge off and make me more docile. I have to fight it. I have to find some way to live without this crap zoning me out like Lithium. I need to get healthy, get back into yoga and start some meditation to bring my stress level down. I don't want to be another zombie out there walking around infecting the world with my fuckedupness.

So, for better or worse, I'm back. In black. I have a new project coming up but it won't be a rush job so I'll be posting more or less regularly from now on.

Hope all of you are enjoying the spring. It won't last for much longer here in Dallas.

Love and snickers to you all.

JC

In the News Today, Friday February 20, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 18:47:00 +0000

Nadya Suleman, the fuckstick mother who is ripping the rest of America off should take this offer from Angels in Waiting who are willing to help pay to raise and care for her brood. At press time, she hasn't yet responded. I hope she's been hit by a fucking bus...

She's a selfish crazy bitch who should NEVER have been allowed to have children in the first place...

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British reality star Jade Goody: down for the count. Thank god...

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Governor calls on Senator Burris to resign.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

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Gibbs: Santelli wrong about Obama Plan... People are going to have to be responsible. I love it.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

***************
Cheney rears his ugly fucking head yet again using FEAR to undermine our new president and his policies, only weeks old...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

I just had to get a quick one in before the weekend. Have a great Friday evening and see you guys later...

JD

In the News Today, Thursday February 18, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 17:48:00 +0000

This is so fucking sad. Dolphins trapped in a hole in the ice in Seal Cove, Newfoundland. Poor babies... They can hear them crying at night...

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Mr. Obama Goes to Canada. Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, doesn't it? Or a road film from the 60's. And for the record, I would love to see Melissa Long naked. Just sayin...

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Woman blinded by acid attack demands "eye for an eye" justice. And she's going to get it... This is so unsettling....

Anyone who thinks her demand is against human rights is an idiot. At least he's being allowed to live. Better than what would happen if it had been someone in MY FAMILY. I shit you not...

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Some people in India do not care for the success of "Slumdog Millionaire"...

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If we lose the bees, we are not far behind. A sign of the apocalypse? Perhaps. I agree, bees deserve a bail-out instead of Wall Street. We can live without Wall Street...

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UBS, Swiss' largest bank, is agreeing to turn over names of Americans who might be eluding paying taxes to the American IRS.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

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Sarah Palin's intent unclear for Alaskans after her campaign... I hope she's ousted. That fucking bitch is dangerous. And stupid.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

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World Bank warns of the dangers of melting glaciers... This is real shit, people. Wake the fuck up...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

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Phillipe Cousteau speaks on offshore drilling. Smart guy, but he looks like a fucking douche. Jeremy Pivin wannabe? Smarmy... But right...

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Oh... I cried when watching this... A female koala bear accepts human help after being rescued from the Australian fires... What a sweet baby...

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I never really cared for her until she decided to strike back at the Evil Sarah Palin empire, but now I think I would actually sleep with Ashley Judd...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Judd's looking pretty hot in that sleeveless silver dress, I must say...

Heavy sigh...

Ok, that's it for this beautiful Thursday afternoon. Have a great day and a productive tomorrow...

JC

In the News Today, Wednesday February 18, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 17:58:00 +0000

After a bit of an absence, we're back with our news highlights for today...

If you choose to live with blinders on, should we make everyone wear them too? Georgia lawmakers are trying to tell you what you can and CANNOT learn in school. It's all just another form of censorship by the Religious Right but education might actually help our kids from suppressing things and becoming sociopaths . What do you think?

******************

And yet another Muslim crime of passion or honor or whatever they call their rituals for killing wives and family members who disagree with them... All these people should be exterminated themselves to show how unjust their actions are. Muzzammil Hassan kills his astranged wife who helped him build the Muslim-based Bridges television station. Assfuck.

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Bristol Palin is a fucking idiot. Totally. "I (want to help) prevent teen pregnancy, I guess..." You stupid cunt. You've been raising your siblings all your life. It's all you fucking know.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Fuck her. She's no fucking role model. She's a statistic.

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Travis the 200 lbs. chimp mauls a woman and is shot dead in Connecticut. She was probably trying to fuck him.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Who the fuck is stupid enough to keep a chimp?? Idiots...

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Ethanol losing steam. Then gas prices fell (though they are already rising again). Farmers are fucked yet again...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

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Fireballs zooming over Texas were not debris... But a truck-sized meteor. Right...

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Watch out for scams during this tax season, everyone.

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Facebook backs down. You fuckers...

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A nude photo from an ex girlfriend got a dumb boy in jail. Poor little guy...

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Is Google invading your privacy?? Or just ripping off BrightKite?

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Actually it would be great for security for single women and seniors. But of course, it will be misused eventually. We fuck everything good up.

******************

This fucking kid needs to go to prison. 18 year old boy blackmails other boys for gay sex. Fucking perv...

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

And that's the way the world looks so far today...

In the News Today, Monday January 19, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 17:25:00 +0000

Of course this is January 19, 2009, the eve of the inauguration of President Barack Obama. There is more coverage this year that ever. Here is a plethora of MSNBC video to whet your:
Appetite for RECONSTRUCTION…

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

********************

And just how high are the stakes??

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Inaugural festivities commence in D.C.

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Crowds and celebrities flock to D.C.

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

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…and it’s not without a bunch of celebrity bullshit…

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Did I mention even though she's barely a step up from a sorority gossiper that I would, more than likely, if the occasion presented itself, fuck Courtney Haslet?

Unfortunately I will not be attending the festivities. I hate crowds. But I will be at the bar cheering along with everyone else…

More to come...

JC

In the News Today, Friday, January 16, 2009

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Fri, 16 Jan 2009 20:57:00 +0000

A Boy Named Sue. Boy George Acting Curious Again…

From CNN, London – we see that former Culture Club singer Boy George was sentenced the star to 15 months on Friday at Snaresbrook Crown Court for ‘imprisoning a male escort’ a court spokeswoman said.

The jury determined BG, who's real name is George O'Dowd, 47, had chained male escort Audun Carlsen to a wall at his apartment in London's hip Shoreditch neighborhood. Carlsen had also said the singer beat him with a metal chain.

Now, maybe it says volumes about my choice of companions but I know A LOT of people who do a lot worse on a boring Sunday at THE CHURCH, Dallas' chapter of Goths and Necrophiliacs Anonymous, and have no problems. Yes, BG might be a total fucktard heroin addict but people are always trying to sue celebs for quick cash. And face it, people, all those prim British stuffed shirts HATE the thought that somebody might actually be having more fun then they are living their repressed zombie baby-machine existence.

Since leaving Culture Club in 1987 he has become a DJ and revived his singing career, releasing a single last year called "Yes We Can," inspired by Barack Obama and featuring clips of the U.S. president-elect.

And Boy is no stranger to the Poisoned Mind. In August 2006, he spent five days cleaning the streets of Manhattan as part of a community service sentence for falsely reporting a break-in at his New York City home.

He has also publicly battled drug addiction for years.

Welcome to the fucking club...

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Man Hopes to Build Operational Flying Saucers...

I'm all for the entrepreneurial spirit. Plus, I smell a government cover-up....

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

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This is the biggest piece of Bush Bullshit Propaganda I’ve ever read… today that is…

Did Bush REALLY save 10 million POSSIBLE HIV infections from coming to fruition? And should a lucky blind call to spend millions out of guilt overshadow the fact that he was the worst president in history? What’s your take on it? Read it here.

BUSH BULLSHIT

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Do Men's Penises Shrink as They Age? Plus the Upside of Slowing Down

Growing old doesn't mean you're dead: here's

Our men's health and sexuality article...

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An American in Europe...

American Amanda Knox, 21, and her former 24-year-old Italian boyfriend Raffaele Sollecito went on trial in Perugia Friday in the 2007 killing of a Knox's roommate British exchange student, Meredith Kercher, who died in what prosecutors called a "drug-fueled sex game" with the couple and a third person, Rude Guede. The trial is expected to take months. If you aske me these fuckers should all burn. I mean, yes, BDSM is fun times (though, for me, it's a lot like fisting- it's sounds like a great idea but gets old REALLY QUICKLY) but it's so easy to take things too far, especially when experimenters choose the wrong people to trust. Read the CNN story here:

Italian Sex Crime

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I know she's a bitch and could stand to gain 15 lbs. but after seeing this I have to admit...

I Would Fuck Anne Coulter.

Embedded video from CNN Video

Whether you want to admit it or not, she's on to something. And NOBODY wants to hear it. Sounds familiar. She and I are now soul-mates...

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God, I hate people. Dozens of dead cats found in trash bags.

What the fuck is wrong with people? Apparently they were all adult Siamese and were seemed to have been kept in a freezer for some time. Is this some Lovecraftian experimentation bio-trash? Cult involvement?? You decide. Read it here:

MSNBC

---------------------

A Good Idea Gone Bad: Underage Sexting equals child pornography

Ok, I know all about being an overly hormonal idiot ready to fuck everything in sight (it IS my birthday week, after all) but I swear to God they are breeding kids more and more stupid every year. More tech than brains…

And if that's not enough for your mid-day fodder then hook em over to FOXNews- I'm sure they have something ridiculous for you to read...

Have a safe and productive tomorrow...

♠ JC

In the News Today... BitterSweet Sarah

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 21:30:00 +0000

Welcome to our new segment entitled In the News Today, a quick one-two punch commentary on daily local and international headlines. For our inaugural entry we first take a look at:

BITTERSWEET SARAH

I find it interesting that your favorite MILF hockey mom Sarah Palin is miffed about all those nasty journalists attacking her flag-waving, under-age parenting, separatist family members. TODAY offers a hell of a tell-tale video:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

And as an added comment...
Remember Pee Wee's Big Adventure? Well, from the Huffington Report here is...

SARAH'S BIG LIE

The Huffinton Link

And for the record, family DOES count in assessing your proficiency and ability to govern the United States of America, you dumb bitch. Kids are NOT off limits. It tells SOOOO much about what your priorities are, your methods for conflict resolution, and your perception of the world. Did you take the GOVERNOR mail-order class to get your job?? Who the fuck has over-looked your total ineptitude for years and even ALLOWED you to keep me from a good night's sleep for months worrying about Nazi Hockey Mom's sawing my bachelor balls off with a serrated knitting needle?

---------------------

PACK MENTALITY: All Together Now

This next tidbit is a fascinating piece in support of individualism vs. pack mentality. Everyone should see this... (Even though the producer/writer Elizabeth Landau reminded me more of somebody's kid sister than a professional journalist. I swear I thought she was going to say "Oh, my GOD!" any second...)

Embedded video from CNN Video

---------------------

And of course, topping the dung-heap that is our governing system, the featured story that has JUST COME IN is:

U.S. Airways jet has JUST NOW crashed into the Hudson River, New York.

Apparently it was taking off to Charlotte, North Carolina with 148 passengers and 6 crew members. It was a 'bird strike' that caused the emergency landing. The plane apparently did not break up and made a successful water landing. They now have Coast Guard and rescue ferry's on the scene. Apparently, everyone has been rescued and has been relocated to a building off of 42nd Street in Manhattan... There is no archived video as of yet since this is happening as I write these words but I will post a link as soon as possible.

Be safe and have a productive tomorrow...

♠ JC

A Brave New World…

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 22:41:00 +0000

It’s an amazing thing but we are, yet again, on the cusp of another New Year.

2009, the Chinese year of the Ox, in all it’s new-born glory, is swooping down upon us like the Ghost of Christmas Future and we may or may not be ready for what it has to show us. It seems the more I regress into my mid-40’s Peter Pan phase the faster time just keeps marching on relentlessly forward reminding me that I though I may have missed the battle with Time the Destroyer, the war is still looming. Lovers, I’m here to tell you I’m lucky I’m not some washed-out hack derelict with 3 bratty kids, two ex-wives, a receding hairline, a hard 60 lb. gut, two mortgages, an ulcer, a lifetime of shattered dreams, and a prostate the size of a Ruby Red grapefruit… I am one of the lucky ones… and I am eternally grateful for my thankless job working at the Death Star for Darth Goldstein and all the hell I swallow and burp up in my sleep like spiritual vomit… I am happy to have a lifeline no matter how strangulating and castrating it may seem… The fact is I can still shoot a load along with the best of them and for that I’m eternally grateful…

But even a spirit such as mine will not last forever.

(Ah, the trappings of a hyper-aware and mildly paranoid mind… I sooo need to be on psycho-actives… )

But back to the New Year. Remember, the beginnings of anything are the most delicate of times…

Of course on January 20th President Elect Barack Obama will take control of this bucking bronc we call a country and try to ride it back into the stables. He will inherit staggering debt, an economy on the brink of collapse, more un-tethered domestic spying power than any other new president has had in more than 30 years, two wars, and, like all good stepfathers who inherit a fucked-up family of 300,000,000, he simply rolls up his sleeves, pulls out his credit card, and keeps on smiling. As the first black president in American history Obie is more than just a symbol of change; he is the modern poster-child for the American Dream itself. He single-handedly, simply by winning the election (by ground-breaking use of technology and marketing strategies), has given us proof that anyone could aspire to and actually find himself or herself… president! A little hokey and Hallmarky but it’s funny because it’s true…

On February 17th, 2009 all TV stations in the U.S. will cease their analog broadcasts. We are now 3 years away from the end of the universe, if you watch the Mayan calendar instead of the View to get your Armageddon Report.

Some cretin motherfucker took the opportunity of the holiday chaos to shatter my driver’s side window on my new (for me) 99 Mercedes SKL 230 Kompressor hard-top convertible the night after Christmas. Nothing was taken (he or she was probably chased away by the alarm, though I didn’t hear anything even though I was home all night.) But what the fuck is that all about?? What is wrong with our modern society that makes people always want to screw other people’s shit up, especially the night after fucking Christmas?? Fuck you, inbred bastards! I worked hard for that car and have done everything to get it up to snuff in the last couple of months and here you are, some ICE smoking, STD spreading, non-deodorant-wearing, smegma-leaking, soup-smelling derelict with nothing better to do then fuck dogs and bust my window open… Fuck you. I hope your herpes get herpes, you simian ass-polyp… I just hope the syphilis has already sterilized you so I don’t have to shoot any of your stinky artful-dodger children when they follow your ill-taught lead…

Merry. Fucking. Christmas.

It’s unsettling to me but not really shocking because of what happened to me years ago while I was working at a now-defunct restaurant chain called Tejas Café here in Dallas in the early 80's. It was, of course, a Mexican food joint; so stands to reason that most of the employees both in the front of the house as well as the back of the house were… that’s right, Mexican… You’re keeping up. So, I, being not your common Spic and Span, cute, smart, and filled with dark energy and snarky observations, drew a lot of attention to myself from some of the more ‘socially challenged’ wetbacks I happened to work with. The kitchen staff was comprised of all illiterate Hispanic men who were more interested in drinking and fucking white chicks then repairing the world opinion of single Hispanic males in Dallas, Texas.

From the beginning they tried speaking to me in Spanish and, though I look the part, alas, I am a fucked-up Americanized Latin and can’t even speak my own vernacular. Each time I apologized and told them I didn’t understand, much to the shaking of greasy heads and the familiar curses they grumbled under their collective breath. But growing up with my multi-lingual family, I could understand a lot of what was said even though I didn’t have the ability to answer back. So I had an inkling of what was up. Finally, one day the head cook Fausto looked at me as said, “Fuck you. You’re ashamed of being Mexican. You can speak it, you just don’t WANT TO…”, insinuating in his 4-grade mentality that I thought I was better than them. Now, if they had asked me outright I probably would have agreed whole-heartedly. However, I was not a dick-wad to them, ever. I just wanted to do my job, get my money, and live my life. Hell, I HAD a life. I was the lead guitarist and songwriter in my own band, was writing up a storm for a now-defunct publication, and was dating half of Dallas. My father had just given me his old Cadillac diesel Eldorado that was in excellent condition. The car was more than a little ostentatious and turned the heads of the kitchen crew not in admiration but outright spitefulness.

I remember it was Christmas Eve and we were open for a short shift before leaving for the holidays. The kitchen guys who were constantly fucking with me were actually smiling and being kind of nice…I should have suspected something was up immediately. Sure enough, when I walked out to the parking lot that night my car was gone. I called the police and had to deal with all that crap on Christmas Eve. At the time in Dallas there had been a rash of auto-thefts and the police chalked it up to just another random act of thievery. They took some strange pleasure in assuring me that my car had already been parted out and was scattered all over the city in various parts shops by the time they arrived. Gee, I felt better already…(meh…) But I knew in my heart that Fausto had had one of his shit-heeled Mexican minions come and steal it while we were all working so as to not be implicated in the incident. It's amazing how smart a Mexican can be when he wants to...

They didn’t find my car until February 3rd. It had been abandoned in a field and had not been dismembered like Dallas’ Finest believed. No, instead someone had taken huge rocks and bashed all the glass in, ripped up the seats, pissed in it, and taken a sledge hammer to the body AS WELL AS TO THE ENGINE in a grotesque display of vandalism. I knew those stupid fuckers in the kitchen did it but I had no proof except for the shit-eating grins some of them would flash me every now and then. Cocksmokers. Now I know what it’s like to hate members of your own race.

It reminds me of a joke (which you will only get if you're a Hispanic male)...

What's the difference between a straight Mexican and a gay Mexican??

...about a six-pack...

...and that, my lovers, was the birth of Cordovaism…

And of course it’s always during the holidays when people strike out at those who have more than they do. Now, I’ve been one to cathect every now and then but I have NEVER destroyed someone’s property simply because I thought they didn’t deserve to have it. That is a fucked-up sociopathic mentality shared by the unintelligent. So. Not. My. Speed.

What is up with the masses in general? Do they just sleepwalk through life hoping they don’t walk off a bridge somewhere?? It amazes me how people are so quick to identify with something for fashions sake without regard for what that action signifies in reality…

Recently a romantic horror film was released, the horrendously-lit, ridiculously-written chick-flick adaptation of the soft-core vampire series called TWILIGHT. Overlooking the fact that it is simply riding the wave of (juvenile) horror resurgence led by Blood and Chocolate, True Blood, and Underworld 3, the film is a piece of shit fluff-n-stuff made for taking in the money of unsuspecting, under-sexed, over-imaginative young pseudo-gothic females 14-35 (BELIEVE ME, I WORK IN THE INDUSTRY, I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT… that is an actual DEMOGRAPHIC!). Now, I’m not sure if you know this or not but the writer is a practicing Mormon and has written the entire vampire-keeping-his-hunger-at-bay thing as a rolling metaphor for sexual abstinence in the books, a concept that is at the heart of the Mormon social ideology (the joke I hear from a good friend who lived in Utah for 5 years as a rock drummer is that, though nefarious about keeping their hymens intact, except for masturbating, of course, to please the boys very few of the girls are hesitant to take it up the ass in the name of the ol’ in-out, in-out before marriage… Which reminds me, I really need to visit that city someday soon…). Anyway, as in the Catholic faith, 10% of all monetary earnings go directly to the church, a thing Christians call “tithing” (I call it ‘guilt for money’). For those of you who keep up with the Bill Paxton vehicle about polygamists BIG LOVE, these country folk aren’t like the fat city Catholics- they will get their cut come hell or high water. (though, not all of them actually look like Warren Jeffries or Harry Dean Stanton… thank the Lord…) And of course the Mormons are the main socio-political body that is pushing Proposition 8 through legislature. So if you say you are in support of gay marriage and you love the ability to choose the sex of your own life-partner and the flavor of your sexual lifestyle yet you still insist on buying the TWILIGHT books and watching that stupid drivel of a movie then you, my young friend, are shitting in your own mouth. YOU CANNOT SERVE TWO MASTERS. You must take a stance or stop proclaiming that you are an individual. You are nothing more than a gutless wonder who would rather throw your hard-earned money at you enemies than stand up and refuse to play the game. You are totally and irrevocably ineffective. Live with it. Or change. It’s your decision. If you don't give a fuck about anything and just want to get your rocks off, hey, I can respect that. JUST SAY IT. But please don't pretend you are innocent. Do you need superficial stimulation that badly?? Stop masturbating and reach for something real, for fucks sake. Stand up for something, and AGAINST something for the first time in your pathetic, simpleton, materialistic lives…

Or shut the fuck up and quit telling me your something special. Because YOU ARE NOT.

Of course, the new year is the PERFECT time for self-examination and restructuring. All is not lost, my loves. You have just become mesmerized by all that glitters like so many deer entranced by on-coming headlights. Nothing to be ashamed of. Don’t feel bad about where you are, just feel bad if you stay there. And yes, standing up for your real beliefs is frightening when we’ve spent our entire lives trying to integrate ourselves into a society that wants nothing more than for all of us to be the same. Yes, wear your hair funky, some will have tats, some will be conservative, doesn’t matter … As long as you stay within the boundaries that THEY IMPOSE, all is peachy. But once you start rocking the boat… that’s when all hell breaks loose.

People treat us like we teach them to. And my friends its time to take back your lives from your loved ones. You can’t really blame them for wanting you to give them your constant undivided attention. Hell, you’ve been running to them and wiping their asses at every whimper probably all your lives. In a huge way, you don’t even know how it’s killing you. The truth is you might already be dead and just not aware of it. (shades of Sartre, though the reality is usually a lot more banal than that…) But for those who know they are not fulfilled… this is another chance for you to get your shit together and demand your independence. It takes balls to tell your husband/wife/children/boss/mistress to fuck off and quit bleeding you dry when you are the one sticking the tube in their mouths… but it’s something you must do to realize you are not a babysitter, a cum-bucket, a meal ticket, but rather A PERSON with real FEELINGS and NEEDS and DESIRES that are not being met.

And friends, if you don’t look after your own well-being no one else will give a fuck either. They look to you to see how to act. So instead of saying “I’m ok,” tell the rotten bastards to "TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR THEIR OWN LIVES AND LET YOU FIND A SPECK OF HAPPINESS SOMEWHERE FOR GOD’S SAKE BEFORE YOU BLOW YOUR FUCKING BRAINS OUT AND THEN TURN THE GUN ON THEM!"

(Well, at least it sounded good...)

Or not. Stay there and be miserable for the rest of your time on Earth. Just don’t bitch about it.

You might wonder why a post entitled Brave New World would harp on unhappiness and fear… Because it is in this exploration that we actually find the missing elements of our lives. It takes courage to stand up on your own two feet and walk away. It is the most brave thing you will ever do in your life. And also the most rewarding. Again, many read my work and think me a misanthrope. Yes, in a way I am. But what I hate in society is not society itself but what we have allowed ourselves to become. We are no longer a society of individuals. We are cattle waiting for the slaughter. And I don’t know about you, but I’m not waiting around to be ribs and chop steak. I’m packing light and hitting the yellow brick road like Jack Kerouac and looking for happiness. I know it exists. I’ve seen it in glimpses. And I refuse to live without it one moment longer.

Hope you are the same…

So for the New Year I pray that you all muster up the courage to change what you can, find the serenity to accept what you cannot, and develop the wisdom to know the fucking difference. Bless you all. Tough love, even though scathing, is love in its most pure form. And though I hate what we have allowed ourselves to become, know, in my black little heart, that I, without a doubt, love you more than you love yourselves.

Let’s change that, shall we??

See ya next year…

♠ JC

How YOU Fuck Up the Holidays... and other seasonal truths...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 24 Dec 2008 17:37:00 +0000

As a companion to the joyous celebration of everything carnal that was the list of My Favorite Things, now I’m cutting to the chase, as it were.

What the FUCK is going on out in the pre-Yuletide streets these days? Now, I know I am a little dark and intense at times. Hell, I can be down-right cantankerous when the mood hits me. But even I, the Mussolini of Social Media, tries to keep hits snarky shit to a minimum during the holidays. I might be a loose cannon but at least I keep my ammo TO MYSELF and don’t purposely fuck with other peoples’ vibe. I have respect for even the rabid mongrels that populate this stretch of Southern Babylon. But lo! The fuckfaces have ZERO respect for themselves; what makes me think they should possibly be able to muster up the strength and scruples to RESPECT ME?? People walk around mumbling about how horrible the holidays are… While they are sipping eggnog frappuccinos, wearing designer jeans and Pantagonia fleece jackets, and whipping out the credit cards like they’re winning lottery tickets… What the fuck do you blockheads have to bitch about, really?? Did Sharper Image sell that vibrating dick holder out from under you??

And on top of it, you get an attitude and try to smear your holiday smegma all over me??? Step off, fuckers! I’ll deck you right in the hall and crunch those snowglobes like old candy canes… think I’m lying…

All you people who wait till the last minute to do anything for Christmas and then run around like savage wolves cutting people off, fighting for sale items, and being rude to your waiters… FUCK YOU. You are the LAST people GOD or ANY of the heavenly host will think about during this or any other holiday season. And you people wonder why you are so fucking miserable during the holidays… Hell, I KNOW why I’m in bad mood-

I HAVE TO DEAL WITH ALL YOU FUCKERS ON A DAILY BASIS! And believe me, that’s enough to piss off the Baby Jesus.

I know we all have a billion and one things to do. But seriously, do you think your shit is more important than mine??? If so, you are sadly mistaken… Mongrels...

And you, Einstein, stilling there in your vibrating Lazy Boy stuffing your face with Pizza Pockets and Pabst Blue Ribbon while you scream at the television all weekend… Do you not see the kids (that YOU decided to sire, you lame-ass motherfucker) are watching and learning from all your grotesque selfish behavior? When you suddenly realize your kids are obese fucksticks who don’t give a damn about you or anything else PLEASE don’t blame them for their behavior… You’re the one who taught it to them!

And for those of you who think God is going to answer all your selfish smarmy prayers that your stocks go up and your wife gives you a divorce and that your face-lift will heal before your cruise in February… Hit your knees and be thankful that I’m not the GOD in question. You would all be dust blowing in the wind by now… I’d be like Charleton Heston sweeping down with my locusts, frogs, gnats, and my MVP the ANGEL OF DEATH and teach you the meaning of “bad holidays”… you can keep the idiot first-born child… I want your 50-inch HDTV and your hot stripper girlfriend. I’m GOD, bitch!!

Seriously, what fucking right do you people have to be cunts and pee-holes all the time?? Why don’t you people go home and beat your kids or something? Don’t be dishing out your repressed frustration on me and other obsessive/compulsives who are just trying to get through the season unscathed… because I’m not your mother- I’ll cook it and feed it back to you through your nostrils, you selfish pricks…

DEEP BREATH…

Ok… It’s amazing how much better I feel now….

When I was a child and my father’s mother Lupe was still alive the tradition was to go to her crib after midnight mass and we’d all stay up til 4 am singing carols and opening presents while my Dad and the other grow-ups drank beer and wine and pretended to love each other… She would make tamales with my aunts on Christmas Eve and we would feast all night long. Christmas Day was always a late start but I already had most of my presents and that was all that mattered. Ah… That was probably the happiest, most care-freee time of my life, as it relates to the holiday experience. Things change so much once you become an adult... And I must say, being single and unencumbered, I really have it so much easier than most of my constituents. The simple act of daring to live my life as a bachelor has saved me from the most mundane of fates.

I went to Whole Foods On Friday to get ingredients to make my infamous HOLIDAY SANGRIA to take to my friend’s Christmas Debacle and the first thing I saw when I walked through the sliding doors was a meager man in his early thirties clutching a child of 2 who looked up at him and instantly projectile vomited right in his face and all over the floor in front of the organic mango bin.

Brother, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy…

Ugh. As if life isn’t hard enough, people…

Of course, the holidays are all about children. But seeing as that I have kind of alienated myself from my family after a horrible estate dispute after the death of my father’s mother, I really have no kids around me. And though you might think I hate them because of my vocal doctrine concerning the irresponsible breeding inherent in American culture, I really like children. They are smart and curious and pure, unless totally fucked-up beyond belief by their insane parents. During Christmas I find myself, like them, being charmed by the twinkling of the lights like fractured diamonds, the smell of pine, the sight of packages the colors of the rainbow… the carols sung in praise to a time that is long gone but fondly reminisced… But, alas, that is the nature of Western thinking- the good borrow, the great steal…

Unfortunately, kids rarely get the chance to BE kids today. With the media and peer pressure and sexual innuendo everywhere, it's easy to think of virginity as your first case of chicken pox- get it over as soon as possible and go on with the rest of you life... I wouldn't want to be a child in this society for ANYTHING... Poor little guys...

Kids are just like BlueTooth ear pieces: a good idea gone bad...

But with all this materialism, it's easy to forget that we are supposed to be celebrating the BIRTH OF CHRIST. Now, I know everyone is not Christian. And being Catholic I don't believe in not believing. And of course the written history of Christ is fucked up beyond believe and makes it hard to instill trust in a non-Christian. But seriously, it's not any worse than the Bush Administration and look how easily you fell for THAT ONE!

The true date of the birth of Christ has long been debated:

http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/108038

“…If observed at all, the celebration of Christ's birth was usually lumped in with Epiphany (January 6), one of the church's earliest established feasts. Some church leaders even opposed the idea of a birth celebration. Origen (c.185-c.254) preached that it would be wrong to honor Christ in the same way Pharaoh and Herod were honored. Birthdays were for pagan gods.

Clement of Alexandria (c.150-c.215) favored May 20 but noted that others had argued for April 18, April 19, and May 28. Hippolytus (c.170-c.236) championed January 2. November 17, November 20, and March 25 all had backers as well. A Latin treatise written around 243 pegged March 21, because that was believed to be the date on which God created the sun. Polycarp (c.69-c.155) had followed the same line of reasoning to conclude that Christ's birth and baptism most likely occurred on Wednesday, because the sun was created on the fourth day.

The eventual choice of December 25, made perhaps as early as 273, reflects a convergence of Origen's concern about pagan gods and the church's identification of God's son with the celestial sun. December 25 already hosted two other related festivals: natalis solis invicti (the Roman "birth of the unconquered sun"), and the birthday of Mithras, the Iranian "Sun of Righteousness" whose worship was popular with Roman soldiers. The winter solstice, another celebration of the sun, fell just a few days earlier. Seeing that pagans were already exalting deities with some parallels to the true deity, church leaders decided to commandeer the date and introduce a new festival…”

Imagine if we were celebrating Christmas in April... So. Not. Fun. But then again, we wouldn’t know any difference so again PERCEPTION IS REALITY.

So on this holiday season don’t be a dirt-bag. BE NICE, for fucks sake. You never know when a piano is going to come crashing down on your head… Don’t make everyone hate you. Believe me, once there it takes years to change it…

Ok, now I’m off to do my last-minute shopping… And if one of you allows your kid to throw up in front of me again, I swear I think I’m going to lose it…

Merry Fucking Christmas!!

♠ JC

...A Thought for Human Rights Day...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 22:55:00 +0000

There has been a call to arms for national HUMAN RIGHTS DAY. A call to bloggers everywhere to post something on this topic. Though I don't necessarily consider myself a 'blogger' it does happen to be the medium of choice... so here I am.

First of all, I think media-driven celebratory things like this are very much like the American holiday mentality. Why take one day out of the year to celebrate something that we should be supporting vehemently every minute of our American lives? It seems to me to be a mis-placed value, an afterthought that we have the freedom to live, work, fuck, worship, watch, listen to, and ignore anything anywhere we fucking want (with a nominal amount of censorship). We should be cherishing every little thing we can retain because our rights are being taken from us, slowly but surely.

Over the last eight years we have been coerced by the government as well as the media to give up our inherent human rights in exchange for the illusion of safety. With NYC police being indicted on sodomy charges, the debacle at the Republican National Party, the horrors of the Hudson family murders, I’d venture to say I feel about as safe as a cat in the middle of a 6-lane interstate at rush-hour.

And when we say ‘human rights’ we are not just talking about the rights of families and the protection of children. Fuck them. That has nothing to do with MY reality. What about the fact that I, as a conscientious intelligent SINGLE taxpayer WITH NO CHILDREN, pay roughly 20% more taxes that an family of 4 who consume easily 5 times the amount of natural resources that I do. And that the IRS, through a gross misinterpretation of the constitution that clearly states that income tax is a VOLUNTARY contribution, is insisting that I owe taxes plus penalties for $4,000 worth of income I never even received in 2002… Yeah, I have complete unshakable faith in this country and it’s infrastructure… Not.

What are human rights? A simple definition is: The basic rights and freedoms to which all humans are entitled, often held to include the right to life and liberty, freedom of thought and expression, and equality before the law. Human rights refers to the "basic rights and freedoms to which all humans are entitled."[1] Examples of rights and freedoms which are often thought of as human rights include civil and political rights, such as the right to life and liberty, freedom of expression, and equality before the law; and social, cultural and economic rights, including the right to participate in culture, the right to food, the right to work, and the right to education. (notice the lack of "the right to procreate"- JC)

“ All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. They are endowed with reason and conscience and should act towards one another in a spirit of brotherhood.”
—Article 1 of the United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR)[2]

It seems that in this day of extended parentship, single-parent fatherless families and overstated moral obligations to proliferate as dominant organisms more and more human rights are protected for those who are being protected and not so much for the people who are doing the protecting. It is true that the more you have, the more you have to lose. So those in power use wealth as the buffer in a system that is anything but fair for all.

And in a society that glorifies the trainwrecks of humanity in celebrity tabloids and reality television where do we find a base on which to measure the quality of modern life and liberty? Just because you have the freedom to do whatever you want is not necessarily a good reason to do just that. And with morality being kept out of learning institutions more and more the burden of instilling discernment in children falls directly on the shoulders of the parents. But who is teaching them??

We must seek out education. We must teach ourselves how not to be manipulated by our own system. And that calls for ridged self-examination. In our society our rights are no longer ours in anything but theory. We must demand that our rights be given back to us by demonstrating that we DESERVE THEM. And that, my friends, is a frightening situation, having to be personally responsible for our own decisions.

The chaste system proves beyond a shadow of a doubt that all men are NOT created equal. And intelligence is not something sought out nor valued by everyone. How can we create a desire in citizens to strive for knowledge instead of hand-outs? It is an inherent philosophical tenant that transcends religion, education, and social programming.

Human Rights. A birthright? Not so much. But they are something that we as free-thinking men and women deserve. And it is up to us to figure out a way to get them back…

♠ JC

And Now For Something Completely Different…

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 02 Dec 2008 20:41:00 +0000

Yes, we are about to wrap up 2008 in the next few weeks. Where the hell did this year go? I mean, so much happened but it seems it’s always the last third of the year when the rollercoaster feels like it’s really moving. Suddenly, here we are speeding towards another fucking year with its own horrid set of obstacles and characters and fears and triumphs and failures… Christ, just thinking about it makes me nauseous…

The biggest thing in 2008, of course, was the Election. Still, I was amazed by the number of simians I witnessed saying how much they hate politics during the entire process. Yes, responsibility is exhausting, kids. It’s horrible that we have to discern; think and form opinions, hopefully our own, and actually have to muster up the strength to do something about it: vote. But those are probably the same people who love rolling around in their own filth, cheating insurance agencies, and fucking their best-friend’s wives but constantly wonder why the world is so filled with hate and misunderstanding… Morons. But now that the gauntlet has been run and the best man has been left standing, we can all get back to living our lives and trying to walk the walk. God knows there’s a new sheriff in town and that will have to unfold all on its own…

The truth is: all this politics is like reality itself- an intrinsic element of life but ultimately boring. Ugh. Doctors report that even katydids dream and therefore have an escape from even their short-sighted life experience.

So let’s talk something different.

-Like how the Dallas Cowboys is the lamest excuse for a multi-billion dollar franchise…
-Or how Brad Pitt is probably hating himself for marrying that baby machine… Ugh. I don't care how hot she is, she's fucking insane... (It’s amazing what guilt will do for a woman… )
-Or how Britney Spears could have the Lady of Fatima appear and speak on her behalf and it still wouldn’t change her status as white trash…
-Or how horrible the tragedy of the Hudson family murders were. And of course it was an ex-spouse. Does this make anyone think twice about getting married and to whom?
-Or how the sharp fall in gas prices has SOLIDIFIED my opinion that over the past 3.5 years the oil industry has been FUCKING US RAW under the Bush administration. And still there is no social outrage… (Opps, there I go with politics again…)

One good thing that happened to yours truly this year is I started traveling in earnest again. I so love exploring different cities and discovering the soul of a locale. I just treated myself to my first visit to Seattle, Washington a few weeks back. I love the fucking vibe of that city: bohemian executive at it’s best. And everyone seems to be pretty fucking cool. Downtown was an amalgam of historic landmarks and modern monoliths. Gazing out at the bay I transcended my own snarkiness and wanted nothing more than to become a part of the energy of that city.

Could I integrate myself into the ebb and flow of another city and create an identity there to rival that of what I have in Dallas? I could probably do a hell of a lot more damage here but we all know that the hometown prophet is anathema to his own people. It might not be such a hard sell in another city. Hell, if I had half the connections in New York or Seattle that I do in Dallas I’d be rich and famous by now. It’s amazing how little people want to help you when they’ve known you all your life. For me it’s the complete opposite; if someone has a history of being creative and dependable I would go out of my way to help them in a second. But again, all men are not created equal….

This last year has seen many things come to fruition in my life, or at least to seed. My rebirth of Casanova Shrugged has attracted the attentions of a few people who share the vision and wish to represent me as a writing talent. It’s both comforting and frustrating, kind of like never being able to get a gorgeous woman in high school but now that I’m in my 40’s they’re everywhere and I’m like “Where the fuck were you back then?” But, like that same scenario, better late than never, eh? This I add to a schedule somewhere behind the feature film script I’m 60% through with (I want a first-draft of completed by Christmas. Ugh.) and a novel I have promised my current lover to pick back up and attempt the long process of completion in her name. And a possible spec script in 2009 for a sit-com I’m partnering with a friend in Florida to write... Yeah, lots of pots on the stove. But isn’t that the way it should be?

Let’s see, what else…

We just had Thanksgiving. Thank the Lord mine was relatively quick and painless. However, I find it funny that so many people make such a deal of something that we should be doing every day- being thankful for the people and things that enrich and populate our lives. Personally, I find it blatantly insulting to my intelligence to watch so many people glorify their own bastard sense of humanity by making asses of themselves in a ‘religiously formalistic’ seizure of good will acted out for all the world to see. As if it makes up for all the months of in-action they show all year long… Attention Fucksticks: a lack of planning on your part doesn’t not constitute an emergency on my part. (For those not versed in metaphoric banter that means: you’re a fucking hypocrite- no body cares. Shut the fuck up.)

Coming up next is the greatest national slur of a religious holiday- Christmas. I will have a little Yuletide jewel for you all in a few weeks, but for the most part I will be going dark for the remainder of the year. But even though I will be in hibernation please feel free to contact me anytime with your comments or questions if you have any. I sincerely appreciate all your responses thus far and promise to continue to bring you the essence of Casanova Shrugged for many moons to come. So until our next go-round take care of yourselves, take care of your shit, and take care of your hearts. Because if you don’t, no one else will…

♠ JC

The Cordova Plan

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 22:27:00 +0000

(Most of this post was written the week before the presidential election. My last few entries were challenged and a solution was requested by a faithful reader. I am not a politician nor have I a political science degree so most of this post is speculative.)

We need real political conventions, not these product-placement-driven pep-rallies and slander-fests…

The last administration has been filled with incompetence. Personally, I don’t hate George Bush. He seems like a nice guy. I dated a woman for a short time who’s family knew him socially. Needless to say, we never talked about him much... He stood up and responded accordingly to the terrorist threat, at least to the best of his narrow-minded abilities. However, his competency has never been questioned. Why? His atrocious handling of the Katrina disaster, the gung-ho mentality that threw us into a horribly-run war in Iraq… What an irresponsible action, to go into a country forcibly and search for WMDs. If they actually HAD WMDs we would have enticed a direct attack on US soil. Didn’t anyone think of that? Apparently not. How lucky we are you were wrong, Little Bush. The lies and deception… Yet we chose not to pursue impeachment… But we canned Clinton… What a fucking joke.

Bush is not a bad guy. He just didn’t have a strong enough of a personality to stand up to his advisors… namely Cheney. And he was led into some shitty decisions that, unfortunately for him, will be his legacy. And unfortunately for us, could have easily enslaved us forever.

The question has been posed to me. What would one nation under CORDOVA look like? And I’m here to answer this question to the best of my ability.

Desperate times call for desperate measures… therefore I say in the name of expediency we would go on a 10-year plan of social reform that would include much of the healthcare plans and the taxation plans proposed by Obama. The truth is we cannot fund change without cracking some eggs. And if the American public think it’s possible to fund a revitalization of the country without taxation, I say you all are selfish moronic fools who should have taken finances courses instead of 3 years of ceramics for electives. Pulling out of the war would free up BILLIONS a month, even after putting in place a memorial fund to the fallen soldiers who were thrown to the lions. To that I would add my own brand of Cordovaism.

-Put a limit on children born to new families. 2 children per new household. If you choose to have more children you are taxed for each additional child. For each child born over the limit the penalty goes up exponentially. This money goes directly to the appropriate agencies to pay for the costs of running the program.

-give major tax breaks for life for all adults over 40 who have voluntary hysterectomies or vasectomies.

-Nationalize the record-breaking profits of the petroleum companies who are making a killing during an energy crisis. Take 95% of the revenues over the gross average culled from the past 5 years (starting 3 years ago, to not include the outrageous profits during the energy crisis) and put it directly towards developing reusable energy programs.

-put a high tax on all SUV’s and RV's. If you own one your insurance is higher and the funds go directly into alternative fuel production. Alternately give tax breaks for owning small cars and hybrids.

-release all bans on pre-fabricated housing within city limits and give tax breaks to green builders, allowing grey water systems and solar heating nationwide (they are currently outlawed in Texas) and incentives for builders of mass housing incorporating green technology.

-Close the American borders to all immigrant traffic. Let no new nationals enter the US nor apply for citizenship for 10 years. Do not deport but tax illegal immigrants already here an extra 5% and have those funds go to running the Boarder Enforcement agency for the first 5 years of the Plan. After that, all illegal immigrant families are granted full citizenship but must strictly adhere to reproductive limitations expected of all Americans.

-New families must apply for parentship licenses. The couple must pass a series of tests and studies to prove a base level of proficiency to give birth and raise a child. Those who do not pass will be given another chance in 6 months. If the couple procreates without a license they will be taxed accordingly directly from the employer. These funds will go to parentship education.

-Force all drivers to take driving tests for every license renewal. And if they can’t pass demand anther full fee for another test. (Hell, we’d make BILLIONS annually off this one fee alone AND keep shitty drivers off the streets) And raise the penalties for driving without insurance and infringement-related offenses.

-impose a ceiling on welfare. Discourage mis-use by penalizing people who take disregard the new procreation laws and take funding away for families of 4 or more who consistently infringe. This is not against the Constitution, this is an enforceable system that will call for all families to be held accountable for their own decisions.

-complete consentual support and endorsement of sex education starting in elementary school.

-nationally regulate the Federal Reserve and make them publicly accountable for their actions.

-raise the pay for educators and get the American average for testing scores up to an gobal level.

-Give special financial assistance to science and math majors and give the upper percentile direct exposure to the top infrastructure jobs in America.

-in urban centers have a renewal of cleanliness and hire the homeless to beautify the city’s public centers, lakes, and roadways that are not being tended to by prison inmates.

- Instill a committee to keep church and state separated

Ok, I think it’s evident that I’m not a politician or a law-maker. But the reforms I would make would be standard stuff. Many were concerned I’d make a call to arms. The fact that I think we could have used a good civil war in the past 5 years does not mean I would create one if I had the chance. Unfortunately, I believe the war would begin once the reforms started and good things were happening in the country, much like the true original rebels in Star Wars (Episode 1-3) were fighting to instill the Galactic Empire, not free themselves from it. Our enemies are strong and bold and in their own minds have God on their side, very much like Al Qaeda. They believe they have special dispensation to instill their will on the country, and that makes them dangerous to everyone.

We are finding out that, no, America does NOT run the world. Obie will not solve the country’s problems in a single term for a myriad of reasons. Because it’s not just America that need fixing. It’s a global economy, the debt we owe to other countries and how it is handled, that is what will define the American economy. And his enemies will site HIM as the reason, but anyone with any insight will know that it is an algebraic equation that we are only a single variable in.

In the case of this detestable campaign I believe we should learn a lesson: Disagree but don’t disrespect. Making fun of Sarah Palin on SNL is one thing, but, yes, slamming her was not a smart thing to do during the election. We appear to be elitist when we criticize her obvious fundamentalist, short-sighted and simpleton mentality. It is not an issue of one side being SUPERIOR to the other but rather a shift in base priorities. She’s a Christian Fundamentalist. And there are so many people from the same background who support her. Revealing her for the media whore she is doesn’t enlighten her supporter, it causes resentment. Voters have to attach doubts to their vote if it’s money at the heart of an issue, but they don’t have to attach doubts if someone is making fun of them. It becomes personal. And because of what our country’s media has fed us for DECADES, we let our pride get in the way of our intellect and we vote with our HEARTS instead of our MINDS. But our hearts are tainted. As well as our minds. Talking about impartiality and bi-partisanism is one thing and putting those concepts into everyday play in out lives is quite another.

This election shouldn’t have ever been close, but we made fun of those candidates (however deserving it may have been) and the people they represent- and easily could have caused a backlash that could given them the race. I thank God and all that is holy under His auspices that that DIDN’T happen…

The McCain/Palin ticket was the worst run campaign in history, which was interesting to watch in a political sense. The people interviewed at Mac’s camp can’t even pronounce Muslim… it doesn’t do much for their credibility. And the footage of hate-mongering slogans shouted out against Obama at the Palin rally were never addressed and denounced by her, even after she was informed of the severity of their content. But in a big sense the Republican party is simply preaching to the choir. Either you’re with them or against them; within this new millennium identity of the GOP there is no middle ground for converts to occupy or ponder. They have chosen to polarize themselves from the rest of the political world like an elitist club who can’t imagine why anyone would ever argue with their beliefs or want anything more than what they offer. And again perception becomes reality because they are in actuality engaging in the same level of prejudice that they accuse the Obama camp of perpetuating. I know what you are, but what am I?

This election has polarized the nation. I myself have redefined many relationships with certain people because of their political view, something I have personally never done in my life. I will choose to exclude many from my personal life from now on, realizing I want nothing to do with those who have complete disregard for me as a tax-paying thinking contributing member of society simply because I’m not married and am without children. And again, on another level, it has become war.

There is no way either candidate could possibly fix the problems we face as a country and a SOCIETY in a single term. In the end, breeders wanted Mickie C and single, self-made people wanted Obie. And the two parties are NATURAL ENEMIES. Personally, I look at the long-term ramifications of the election. I am single and know I will pay a higher tax bracket because this country’s template is built to be prejudice against adult singles. I want America to be SMARTER, more intelligent. I want children to get an EDUCATION more that street knowledge and sexy television shows. Education is the key to everything. Not military might. Look what happened to Germany... they were the greatest military strength in the world and though it took the rest of the world's forces combined, they fell. Hard. And for good reason. Do you honestly believe all of the propaganda of our humanitarian efforts? It all depends if you blindly believe that America still exists as a political and economic concept or if you perceive that we are being fed only the information we need to keep us satiated while the aristocracy (i.e. politicians/pharmaceutical companies/oil industry) rape us blind. But if we have enough children and debt we will not rock the boat because we have precious things to lose. People are polarized because of their lifestyle. This was no easy election. And either way it could have herald the beginning of the end of our 'Roman Empire'...

So many things are shrugged off as paranoia, conspiracy theories… Personally, I believe all that psychological terminology was created just to discredit people who genuinely have knowledge the rest of us don’t. Reverse psychology to discredit the opposition. Standard textbook propaganda 101…

And in response to many of the Republican views after losing the election: Please don't infer that 'liberals' are not intelligent enough to see that the media controls the thought processes for the entire country. It is a lack of morals and sex education in school that keep the youth ignorant of their own bodies and urges. Just because parents want to pretend sex doesn't exist at that age does not mean it doesn't. This huge rift in education is an all-out form of suffragette on a non-gender-specific level. The truth is the atmosphere in America CONDONES single-parent families and even ENCOURAGES the practice, seemingly. With modern psychology we have eradicated personal responsibility and given everyone in America a false sense of ENTITLEMENT to live, work, speak, and procreate at will. Therefore, young depressed, uneducated and misunderstood females caught in the headlights of modern media expectations are looking to have CHILDREN to give their seemingly empty and meaningless lives purpose. These same people bring their children up in the same atmosphere they did, devoid of any education of sex and emotional maturity and dare to wonder why their children become parents as teens. Don't point fingers at the artists and business people who create film and television- we are sharks and that is their point of our existence: to devour you all. No, point fingers instead at the parents who refuse to tell their children IT’S ONLY A MOVIE and reinforce that real life should not be lived like an HBO film. TAKING PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. Nurture curiosity in your children so they discover that there is an ALTERNATIVE to mindless selfish procreation.... Think of it as defensive driving for your genitalia.

And for the record, in a truly FREE America we would be able to have a comfirmed Muslim run successfully for President. But with the inherent prejudices in ‘heartland’ American thinking (i.e. WHITE PEOPLE-thinking) it will never happen. Just like there’s no way in Hell an atheist would ever be elected. Land of the free... yeah, whatever…

We have to watch Dogma and its terrible influence on logic and reasoning. The fact that I was raised Roman Catholic and have issues with the prevalent “Stepford” quality of the society and their archaic stance on marriage and abortion… that I have spent my life trying to resolve. We are a society that has the ability to take control of our lives and our thoughts for the first time in the history of the Human Race. Why would we possibly choose to keep ourselves in the Dark Ages? What good could possibly come out of denying our intellectual right to EVOLVE, spit in the face of knowledge, and choose to live like animals, bound by our superstitions and empty religious beliefs? Religion is for the LEARNED man. Unfortunately, it was found to be a tool to enslave the weak-minded since the beginning of it’s conception. Remember, RELIGION IS MAN’S CREATION. Spirituality is something completely different. What God would want to keep His greatest creation in the dark? Yes, supposedly Adam and Eve were punished for desiring KNOWLEDGE but I believe it was only because God knew THEY WERE NOT EVOLVED ENOUGH TO HANDLE IT. How many of us stumble through our lives perpetuating ignorance for our own gain, manipulating our loved ones to get what we want? I know I am guilty of that. But at least I never tried to subvert the entire WHOLE OF SOCIETY.

This will be the last political post from Johnny Cordova for a while. I have received some amazing and supportive feedback but just as much opposition. I don’t have the heart to beat the truth into you. That’s for your parents, your church, your wife, your husband, your brattish children and ultimately the State to do. No, I refuse to be another voice in the cacophony clamoring for your attention. Either you are open or you are not. And in many ways I am not here to convert. I will not waste my precious life trying to convince you of something you already know in your heart. Either that or I refuse to fight the decades of shit your brain has consumed to make you the shell of a human being you might be. Am I an elitist?

Most. Definitiely.

And I’m so fucking proud of it I couldn’t even begin to tell you. At least I can wake up in the morning and look at myself in the mirror and know I’m REAL. I may not be perfect but I’m LISTENING and I’m AWARE. I may be a lot of things but so help me God I am NOT STUPID. And if you care to join me we will embark on a wondrous journey called LIFE. If not, you are on your own. Good luck because God knows YOU WILL NEED IT.

I raise my glass to a new administration that I have SO much faith in. More faith than I could ever have in the people who have been leading us for the better part of a decade. Again, I love my country enough to want to see it fail and rebuild itself. We have already reached the bottom. Here’s to a glorious opportunity to stand behind the real tenants writtin in the original constitution, for the American people to evolve into higher organisms, and for people to finally take responsibility for their own lives. The future is clouded but we know that beyond the clouds lies a world of possibilities we’ve only dreamt of…

Are you ready?

♠ JC

Thank You...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 16:28:00 +0000

I am so incredibly proud of my country for having the courage to stand up against the face of oppression and take control of its own FUTURE. We are blessed to live in a modern age where people refuse to live by the archaic methodology that has been so pervasive for the past 50 years. With our new President we usher in a new identity for Americans world-wide. No longer will we be perceived as heartless money-hungry opportunists and spoiled co-eds...

The road is long and winding and like Obama stated in his acceptance speech it will take longer than a single term to right the problems we have allowed this last administration to create over the past 8 years. But for perhaps the first time since the Regan era we have evaded the manipulation of the aristocracy and have stood up for true equality, true pride not in the wealth and prosperity of our country but in the wealth and integrity of the hearts and souls of its PEOPLE. People who refuse to believe the lie any longer. There is a better way of life. And we have made the decision to cast off our fears and embrace the unknown like our forefathers did when they were first creating this country from a ferrel and malevolent wilderness. Yes, there are unseen dangers ahead; yes, our victory will only coterize our enemies against us further and create bitterness and hatred in hearts already blackened in negative selfishness, greed, and gross malignant prejudice. But we are no longer alone. We have a champion who has risen above the cocophony of modern politics to instill a new integrity into the bloodstream of our nation. This transfusion is the salvation of the true American identity, one of compassion, acceptance, understanding, and intelligent volitional existence. We will no longer simply take up space and time, we will have a purpose for living beyond our individual concerns.

I urge you all to search your hearts and regardless of who you cast your vote for please cast off all negativity and embrace the chance we have to make this country great again. Not for just a few, but for us all.

We have seen the light in the darkness. And we have turned towards it...

♠ JC

Anathema

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 04 Nov 2008 01:22:00 +0000

Republican swine. Vermin. How dare you take political advantage of a DEATH to advance your own psychotic asses?

The Washington Post

You will rot in Hell. Or better yet, rot right here on Earth; this world of YOUR making will be your Hell... You all remember this when you're families start turning on you, leaving you in homes somewhere in your old-age to petrify like the frightened mean-spirited group of lemmings you are. Anything to win... I have read Ayn Rand. And your beliefs are not what she envisioned for the country. You have taken concepts and distorted them to fit your own doctrines.

There are spiritual EYES that you cannot hide from. Your GOD is not amused. You people make me embarrassed to be human...

♠ JC

No Apologies...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 16:16:00 +0000

I have received some criticism for my last blog entry. It seems a few of you think that it is beneath me to use harsh language and graphic scenes of violence in my prose. One even said I appear infantile by my guttersnipe vocabulary and story-telling.

I have to say this:

I do not write for others necessarily. I write because I have something in my heart that I feel HAS to get out. It may not be politically correct, it may not be nice, it may not be fit for children, animals, and expectant mothers, but make no mistake: IT IS THE TRUTH. At least as seen through my eyes. And the truth is I have nothing to hide. I have no sexual taste, no latent aggression, no prejudice or psychotic bent that I would not openly share. Because I believe in FREEDOM. Not violence, but FREEDOM to express frustration, to hypothesize, to predict, and ultimately to say what’s on my mind. Politicians LIE through their teeth, cheat, steal, slander, and imply sooo much OPENLY but there is no OUTRAGE towards them. I speak only the truth. I do not threaten anyone, I do not throw false accusations or belittle because of my personal views. I just call them as I see them.

And nobody has EVER liked the Referee…

I have even had an associate who is trying to brand me comment that it took her back and for a moment she was frightened that I might be some kind of a nut-job. I assure you, all of you, that I am NOT. I am simply an animal. Like we all are, in opposed to the Disney Belief System that we lived in harmony with the dinosaurs and materialized here as thinking, God-fearing people of Christ. No, children. The beginnings were ugly. And though I have educated myself and have risen above the animal traits in many ways I have kept the animal aggression. I BITE. I also roll over, beg, speak… I’m not good at fetching so don’t ask.

The truth is: You don’t need me. And for all intents and purposes, I don’t need you, either. We CHOOSE to be together here on these pages. We CHOOSE to read, listen, ponder… We are not cattle waiting for the next morsel, the next salt-lick, the next slaughter to define what our lives are all about. No, we are thinking individuals. And you are here for a reason. I’m not your mother, I’m not your priest or Rabbi or Congressman (though if I were, there would be some shit going down, I promise you…), I’m not your significant other or your stylist… I’m more like the lover you run to on the side. I am the voice of REASON that you sneak around and fantasize about. Even when you are lying naked next to your partner glistening from your love-making you still can’t get me out of your mind. That is how strong TRUTH is.

I will not apologize for being who I am. If I gave in and changed my trajectory for the simple reason of pulling in the masses I would be a LIAR, a BLASPHEMER, and would be doing you, my readership, the horrible injustice of screwing you blind. You might love me for it and it might make me rich, but it would be completely empty and false.

So for those who would like a more watered-down version of Cordova, you’re shit out of luck. For those who can see beyond my snarkiness and see the truth in my rantings and even are entertained by them, welcome home. I will do everything in my power not to disappoint or fragment under the auspices of… who? God? I think He gets a kick out of it. If not, I think He would let me know. I am accountable to NOBODY ELSE.

So if you dig it, dig it. If not, then take yet another wonderful data stream out of your life, replace my RSS with another porn site, and be done with it.

But know this, my loves:

I’m not going anywhere…

♠ JC

Now a Word From Our Sponsor...

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 17:00:00 +0000

Up until now I have not dedicated a post specifically to the political turmoil our country is in. I have held my tongue and have spoken instead of personal politics, that which influences ALL DECISIONS, the power of the SELF. As the old commercial for a now-defunct clothing wholesaler in the Dallas area once stated: “an educated consumer is our greatest customer”... Or something like that. Same thing.

The truth is, my loves, in a scant 7 days we will have yet ANOTHER administration in place to cure or cripple this country. And this election, more than any other in the last 40 years, is so important to the trajectory of the next century in American History.

In case you guys are blind, (which by the poles a good 39% of you are) Palin is setting herself up for an independent run for the Brass Ring in 2012. We can only hope her looks fade and her policies mature in that time. I’d love to know what Hillary thinks of this petulant and incompetent hockey-mom making a mockery of having a woman in the Whitehouse? I’m sure that bitch is pissed-muthafuckin-off that some pandering ex-beauty-queen would fuck up the opportunity to do wonders for the female gender in America. I know I would be. If I were her I’d get Palin cornered in a women’s room somewhere, pull out a shiv, and tell that cunt I’d make Trigger, Seabiscuit and the rest of the Palindromes motherless if she didn’t shut the fuck up and stop acting like William Randolph Hurst’s fucking WHORE on the rag every time she got in front of a goddamned microphone. It’s not a dick, Sarah. You can’t bite on it, slap it against your face, blow kisses at it, and fake it into cumming all over you. I’d really love to see Hillary kick that bitch right in the pussy for setting women’s political aspirations back two millennia. Now THAT would be a SMACKDOWN!

Not to go on and on, but she said NU-CLU-LAR for fuck's sake! She's a life-long member of the NRA, is openly anti gay, pro death penalty, and to quote a friend, a Stepford Fembot... she used marijuana when it was legal in Alaska... (ok, she's not all bad... ) but as a woman who is obvious pandering to the female voters she's striking out left and right, appalling most feminist groups without even trying because she's only talking to the BREEDERS. I see her on television like a hot female Yosemite Sam and envision her waving two six-guns in the air, shaking her shit out of her Victoria Secrets Lift Bra, winking like Michael Jay Fox, and pulling in the STUPID votes by the thousands... Her husband is in the oil industry, the Roman Empire of all industries and the next in line soon to topple, who's affiliation with a certain Alaskan separatist organization somehow slid under the media radar... McCain doesn't beilieve in evolution… Palin believes humans and dinosaurs lived together probably in neighborhoods resembling the Flintstones…

It makes me so embarrassed to be American, yall...

And everyone’s already forgotten about the Republican National Convention fiasco: the most BLATANT DISREGARD FOR HUMAN RIGHTS SINCE THE NAZI WAR CRIMES.

Live and let live, right McCain? Why look backwards when you can look forward… you dumb motherfucker… just because you are a simian you think WE ARE TOO???

Just a quick blurb from The Minneapolis Star Tribune...

“When protesters hit the streets of St. Paul on Monday to disrupt the convention, nearly every move they made was immediately relayed through webs of text messages and instantaneous Internet posts, in contrast to previous times when word more likely was spread via bullhorns and walkie-talkies. St. Paul police kept pace with a network of 103 video cameras mounted at strategic spots near the Xcel Energy Center and throughout downtown that fed live footage into a command center.

It all added up to something like a massive game of virtual chess, as demonstrators used electronic flashes to keep their allies one step ahead of police — who responded with countermoves aimed at quelling chaos before it had the chance to flare..”.

Police arrested nearly 300 protesters following the violent confrontations.

And don’t you feel like a total TOOL, McCain, by having your brother CALL 911 to inquire about traffic problems last week and then tell the operator “Fuck you” when she reprimanded him. YOU WANT PEOPLE WITH THIS GENEOLOGY RUNNING OUR COUNTRY??? Grated I wouldn’t mind fucking Palin into next week, but give her the keys to the KINGDOM?? Ah, not so much…

With the deficit reaching A TRILLION dollars, who the fuck do you think will pay all this back? What if the companies or nations who lent us this money decide to take a lean out on the country? What then? It will be the first corporate take-over and occupation of a country in history. And if you ask me it couldn’t happen to a better place... It would teach us right to have the Chinese and Microsoft OWN America. And subsequently YOUR ASS.

Now that the dollar is slowing rising people are having to abandon many subsidy programs that were in place and now STILL CAN’T AFFORD TO OPERATE! FTW???

And now McCain's own advisers sees Palin for what she really is...

At least now they see she's in it just for herself... God help us... The same year Charles Manson is up for parole might be Palin's first year as President of Rome. Let's hope the Mayans were right and the universe ends before then...

And of course, the qualifier is saying I’m a conspiracy theorist. Yes, of course I am. And I’m also a know-it-all Spic Who Can’t Keep His Mouth Shut, and An Ungrateful Egotist by thinking I can actually make a better environment out of the company I grace with my presence, and I’m a Selfish American for choosing not to have children and actually ENJOY my life for a while before giving away the farm… I’m also GAY because I refuse to fuck women beneath my intellectual level, I’m ugly because I don't fit into 34-inch waste jeans like my idiot mother thinks I SHOULD at 42, I’m a COMPLAINER because I have a voice and a platform and actually have the guts to USE IT.

Ok, I’m not one to kick a dead horse, so we will see all in 7 short days. This morning I myself made the rounds and voted early. Man, they sure don’t make it easy for you, either. So please, folks, regardless what you think of me or my work, if you’re listening to the sound of my fingers keying PLEASE get out there and do you duty. It doesn’t even matter who you’re voting for, just get out there and do it…

♠ JC

A Funny Thing Happened on My Way to Nirvana…

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:26:00 +0000

…This world has changed a lot in two years… that is evident in everything I see around me. For those just tuning in, I have recently woken from a long self-induced slumber and am reacquainting myself with modern life. My ‘keeper’, as it were, RG, is an interesting mortal… A bundle of self-righteousness and artistic isolation and also the closest I know of someone actually being a modern renaissance man.

Not that he’s Stephen Speilberg and Mahatma Ghandi rolled into one, mind you. And he definitely doesn’t look like Han Solo or anything. He’s actually a handsome, slightly-shorter-than-normal Hispanic man in his early forties. He comes from a Catholic background (can’t win em all, I guess) and is very intelligent and creative- and a complete victim to all the chaos and madness that that combination implies. He suffers from pretty standard symptoms, really… Delusions of grandeur, amplified libido, ADD, OCD, satellite Dish, a personal trainer… He’s a television and film director so is naturally predispositioned to being a total fuckstick. But what makes him different than the rest of the douchbags populating Dallas is his sensitivity. Seriously, this guy cried watching Snoopy Come Home. He’s almost embarrassing at times… The sensitive new-age man disguise. Hmmm… I wonder how much pussy he gets out of that…

Anyway, it’s not because I’m in love with him or anything that I go on. It’s that this last week he began a project that really fucking surprised the shit out of me. A little background: He’s currently orchestrating a consumer advocacy show called I Accuse (I TOTALLY approve of the name) that will be all about stamping out societal injustice. (Very cool. Look for it from Bobby Goldstein Productions, the makers of CHEATERS, in mid 2009) BUT he’s incorporating the viral video environment as well as social media sites as a way for the audience to keep up with cases, share information, etc.

ANYWAY, because of all that he has been a member of a site called PLURK for about 9 months or so. Over cocktails one evening he told me the people there are very intelligent, funny, and engaging. Which is the most frustrating thing about most web communities I have found- they’re usually very cliquey and many people are just not very communicative, especially to outsiders.

Not so on Plurk.

As he tells the story, this last weekend he was out-of-body ‘plurking’ and suddenly, while juggling 7 different threads involving up to 30 people at one time, he realized how many smart, feisty, and successful women were there talking about their lives, giving their opinions, sharing themselves with the world and therefore making said world a brighter place. Disneyesque? Perhaps, but it’s real, ladies and gentlemen. Though many people believe social sites are nothing but a substitute for real life I refer to a classic Johnny Cordovaism on the subject of fake breasts:

If I can touch them, they’re real.

And I got on-line to see for myself, lurking while RG was plurking… and I was completely blown away about the quality of people I saw interacting. I’ve NEVER seen that type of camaraderie between most childhood friends much less absolute strangers who are across the world from one another in an on-line society. These people were real. And you can touch them. They were not Stepford people. They laugh and cry and bitch and gloat and love and hate and fear and fight and desire just like real people… because they ARE REAL PEOPLE. With all the cattiness and friendship and jealousy that you would see anywhere. On-line at Plurk I witnessed more humanity and passion than I do currently walking the dark streets of Southern Babylon on a nightly basis… People who I only know by their screennames opened their mouths and their hearts to me (no, piglet, not like that… not yet, at least…) and in doing so have engrained their avatars on my brain for life… @Dirty_Snowflake, @Robyn, @MissRiss, @Prisqua, @Alexis, @JustJen, @ShimmerGeek, @lilyholiday, @amanda, @crystallynne, @sfgirl, @Cilithria, and so many others...

RG’s concept was simple yet effective:

Do a calendar of The Women of Plurk and give the proceeds to breast cancer research.

On a Sunday night he was drunk and half-kiddingly plurked it to a friend, @Dirty_Snowflake, who is recently pregnant. She loved the idea and immediately agreed to do the photo shoot in 6 months when she’s HUGE in a torn wedding dress… Brilliance! The next morning, in a haze of a hang-over, he actually remembered his great idea and did a public reveal on Plurk.

And the crowds went wild.

All his contacts began a chaotic frenzy of support and well-wishing. The most brilliant artists and technicians began offering their services pro-bono for the noble (and slightly randy) cause. The amazing @Roadhacker who is the IT genius behind the endeavor, @Alexis, the sensuous siren/graphics designer who not only will be designing the avatar, banners and graphic look but will also be the incredibly sexy FACE of Women of Plurk! (as well as a calendar girl…), @MissRiss, the sexy and amazing woman who will be the new voice of WOP and indispensable den mother to the girls, … it almost makes me want to offer to be the disciplinarian and walk around with a riding crop keeping everyone in line…

But that’s another post entirely…

The purity of it all makes these reptilian eyes mist over… if they could. Here, all of a sudden, was the candidate for Douche of the Decade orchestrating something he pulled out of his ass in a drunken stupor that will add years to his karmic life and help society as a whole. That fucking guy… what a total surprise. And a good one at that.

PLURK LIVES!!!!

It amazes me how something that began as an opportunistic guilty pleasure like a social web community could grow into a soft machine led by a most unlikely charismatic leader. And they were just fucking around. And if they could get this much accomplished by just fucking around imagine what they could do in the future if they get their shit together? ‘Men Of Plurk’ is already in the planning stages. If it catches on maybe we’ll see “Men and Women of Twitter? FaceBook? BrightKite?” The possibilities are endless. So by all means, people. Give up the schedules and the proposals. Tell your boss to fuck himself like @JustJen did. Let’s fuck around and really get some stuff done…

Till then,

Toodles…

♠ JC

The Passage of Time and Other Myths

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 17:35:00 +0000

Hello…

Hello?

Hello...

Is this thing on?

Shit, man… I feel like I just woke from the dead. And for all intents and purposes I suppose I have. Nothing like a long hibernation in the face of adversity, eh?

*Stretch… yawn*

I suppose it was a cop-out, allowing the doldrums of human dramarama to keep me in slumber for, oh, what has it been… a good two years now?

Jesus Christ Fuckstick, I put myself to sleep for over 730 days in penance for… God, can I even remember??

Oh, yes. It was because of a woman. A couple of them, actually, overlapping like titanic squalls, white or otherwise, in what many would dare to call the Perfect Storm. A storm that I, the God I made in my own likeness, created.

A lesson in decision-making: get all the facts. First. But that’s another post entirely…

Regardless, like all good terrible forces of nature I have returned. Like el nino. Like a flesh-eating virus. Like hurricane season. Like intellectual herpes that might go dormant for a while but never really go away.

Only this time I’m better. Stronger. Faster. And look better naked.

And really, people, isn’t that what’s really important?

So much has happened to the world while I slumbered. I listened to all your little penneydreadfuls and soap operas through the miracle of the third eye… seeping into my super-conscious like so much wastewater into a blessed cistern. What a cacophony of morose mediocrity, a pure symphony of simpleton bullshit churning like a white noise machine set to lull me to unconsciousness and beyond...

I can’t leave you people alone for a moment, can I?

Let’s see… A war has been raging ever since before I first shut my eyes. I knew it. We might as well change our country’s name to Oceania because, children, we aren’t getting out of this one anytime soon… And believe me, my best friend (if a feral creature can have such a thing) works in television… and he assures me that we know only what they want us to know. Welcome to the American Dream…

For example, did you know that Castro’s been dead for months now?

See…

Anyway, I see we are in the middle of the worst Presidential race of the last 20 years. Personally, if I hadn’t been sleeping I would have voted for Hillary. She might be a bitch but no one would walk all over her and she would have stuck by her guns. Hell, she has bigger balls than the entire current administration put together. At least no one would have called her a black Hitler. (did I say that out loud?) And McCain is a little Bush waiting to sprout. Only worse. Is it too late to secede?

What else… Ah, the price of gas is through the roof. Another surprise there… The government is nationalizing everything else, why don’t they put a ceiling on the profit margins petroleum companies can have during a crises period? Especially since in the last 12 months many have reported record earnings for their shareholders… Oh, wait, that’s because the oil companies and the government are butt-buddies and have been fucking us all along… Silly me…

Skipping merrily through the Internet I see the birth rate in women under the age of 18 has risen dramatically. Didn’t see that one coming. Let’s see, take funding away from the learning institutions, put secondary education out of financial reach for most, alienate the whole of society by creating a viral reality that keeps people separated, have the media espouse how being single is against the word of God and glorify twisted philosophies that condemn birth-control as sin and it’s no fucking wonder all these ignorant, unloved, emotionally deserted children have been brainwashed into thinking that the only way to have any type of purpose in life is to have a child. If I had a daughter I would bring her up with the Cordova code: people are smelly. And they will make you smelly too. And if you decide to use your ‘girl’ card and have a child while you are under 18 and live under my auspices you and your bastard progeny are out the door and on your own. I won’t disown you but I won’t support you. And before all you feminists shriek bloody murder, let me say that I would have raised that girl to feel loved, valued, and indispensable. If she chooses to spit that back in my face, then fuck you; you’re on your own. I love with an incredible intensity but I will not take having my permissiveness and understanding subverted by some whiney co-dependent bullshit. It’s called ‘tough love’, sweetie. And if more parents put their foot down and actually ‘raised’ their children to desire more in life than being some idiot’s cum receptacle then America wouldn’t be filled with all the dumbshit in-breds that it is. Hell, at least third world countries have an excuse… I’m sorry, I thought that this was America, land of the FREE, home of the BRAVE… but parents would rather be friends with their kids and won’t put their foot down until junior in his 19th year knocks up a 16 year old high-school girl and has to move in. Suddenly the grandmother becomes the parent and the kids are trying to get back their youth.

FUCK YOU. I have spent 42 years making sure I don’t have to deal with some sorry-ass bullshit. You think I’m finally going to marry someone, go through a hellish pregnancy, and have a child that will shit out another child and dare to dump it in my lap??? I’ll pick up a bat and send that fucker into the bleachers asaf.fucking.p. What kind of gutless wonder would allow their kids to treat them with such disrespect? If so, you know what? You deserve it. Stupid ass…

Why the fuck isn’t Spears’ underage boyfriend in fucking jail? If I were her father I’d have the guy’s balls boxed, painted like dice, and hanging from my rear-view mirror. Why the fuck don’t laws apply to everyone?? Yet an 18 year old man is old enough to go and give his life for something he doesn’t even believe in but can’t go and get a fucking beer after a hard day of sucking military dick. Damn fucking shame.

IQ’s have certainly dropped suddenly while I was away…

And just because the national curve is getting curvier, some people think it relates to all of us. People try to fill us with sociological myths that appeal to our naive sense of humanity all the while opening us up wide to their personal influence over our lives. And society as a whole has supported these ridiculous tenants more out of in-action than pro-action. (imagine that…)

The first myth is: We are nothing without a partner.

If that is so then a phantom is writing phantom words on a phantom Internet to phantom readers about phantom reality. Not likely.

The second half of this is: why the fuck would I ever depend on another person to set my net worth, either emotionally or financially? I don’t trust people to get up I the morning much less put a decent price on me. We are only what we make ourselves, children. We can live without everyone else but ourselves…

The second myth is: Everything happens for a reason.

That is the sorriest load of depressing bullshit that you could ever tell a society. Now wonder everyone’s on anti-depressants and ready to kill themselves at the drop of a hat. The truth is it’s all a crapshoot. It’s 50/50 if you’re going to be born without some type of malfunction. If you have one thing it’s almost certain you won’t have something else. Example: If you’re rich, maybe you’re a total asshole who treats people like shit and wonders why nobody hangs with him. If you’re poor, maybe you have a wonderful partner who supports you, fucks the dogshit out of you, and is your biggest fan. If you’re beautiful maybe you’re a cunt who no one trusts and the only “friends” you have are the douchbags you fuck. If you’re Mother Theresa or Mahatma Ghandi you probably won’t ever get laid but your reward lies somewhere else. Everything with a price. And everything must go.

Yes, there are things you can do to tip the scales a bit. A positive outlook is one. Praying, which is the same thing only focused. It’s pretty religion-independent so works across different platforms… So to speak. You could blow somebody. But for the most part it all depends on the spin of a bottle, a random thought.

Get used to it.

The third myth is: I won’t cum in your mouth.

You can almost certainly be assured that, come hell or high water, I will.

I look in the mirror and see a few more gray hairs than I remember. I am lucky that I have great jeans and have aged gracefully. I’ve seen some people I went to high school with just recently. And though it wasn’t so back in the day, now I am now undeniably in the upper 10 percent of hot USDA fuck beefstock. You have no idea how much joy I got from seeing the ex-football champion with a spare tire the size of my futon. And the hot cheerleaders who wouldn’t give me the time of day are haggard alcoholic ex-wives with too many kids and Botox scars. My entire elementary school career as a reclusive geek has been vilified.

Revenge is sweet.

Don’t hate the player. Hate the game.

And I suppose that brings us to the dichotomy of life. That the more things change the more then stay the same. Not much is different since we last chatted. The names have been changed to protect the innocent, but for the most part it’s the usual criminals…

We are still our own worst enemies, my darlings. It doesn’t take a masters degree in shitstorming to see that.

Hmm… I’m hungry. I wonder what I eat nowadays… I suppose this is as good a time as any to give my salutations until the next installment while I figure out if I’m still a carnivore or not. (Though, how could I be anything but?) And I assure you it will not be two years from now when we next break bread, er- bones. Even in the face of all these new bloggers (basically women who have nothing better to do than talk about their orgasms, lash out at their ex’s, and rant to a bunch of other bitchy, repressed, irritated and intimately irritating women) I will prevail… Because I am right. If for no other reason, Truth will prevail.

And it’s so exhausting being right all the time. But that’s another story…

So in the words of ‘Ben’ from Blue Velvet, David Lynch’s seminole film…

“...Here’s to your fuck, Frank…”

♠ JC