Catalogette

The month we missed

2008-05-10T00:35:00.005-04:00

The bon fire commences any minute now. Here's what I'm tossin to the fiery gods of greed:

Lands End - Their spring catalogs all had a new, smaller shape that I really like. Plus their colors are so vibrant and fun. Hard to resist.

L'Occitane - Cherry blossom body lotions and a new line of mineral sunscreens containing Buriti, a natural anti-oxidant oil that protects against free radicals.

Vera Bradley - A summertime red, white and blue pattern for purses and handbags called Seaside Collection. I had to have this purse. One of my few spring splurges.

Grandin Road x2 - Solar fountains and everything for the patio.

Splash (Frontage) - The beach in a book. Poolside paradise. I don't have a pool, so I don't care.

Home Decorators Collection - Who needs furniture when they don't have a house?

Ballard Designs - Ditto.

Crate and Barrel: So beautiful. So unnecessary. But I can't bear to part with it.

MOMA Design Store: Philippe Starck's ghost chairs are such classics. Worth every penny I don't have.

Talbots Accessories: Cute shoes if you're a little bit prissy.

Fair Trade: A log that touts "style with a conscience." That's a bit high-minded, except the clothes are stylish, cute, organic and they paid a fair wage.

Restoration Hardware Home: So thick it's sick. Could possibly keep a homeless person warm all night.

Hammacher Schlemmer: Who needs a performance water cycle? I don't even have a pool.

Retail therapy

2008-05-10T00:22:00.002-04:00

I've been ignoring all the catalogs in my mail. I have a stack fit for the firepit. Why? Well, with food shortages and killer cyclones and foreclosure signs everywhere, the Catalogette doesn't quite feel like buying in bulk. I know. Have a pity party and move on, but really, do I need another pair of shoes? Another dish? Another purse? Another dress? Another piece of hand-crafted jewelry? Another 500-ct sheet set?

Short answer: No.
Long answer: No frickin way, but I want it anyways.

The peak of teak

2008-04-06T11:26:00.003-04:00

Even before the spring blooms hit the trees, the logs in my mailbox are pushing me outdoors. Believe me, I want to go, but it's rainy and 50 degrees! Which means, I can stay inside and pour over my backlog of catalogs until my eyes bleed. First, it seems everybody has teak furniture on their covers. Lands End (lifetime teak), Pottery Barn (chic teak) and Crate&Barrel (it's actually eucalyptus, but it looks a lot like teak so sue me). I don't own any outdoor teak furniture and I wasn't really feeling left out, but now I am so sad and practically an outdoor outcast. Looks like I need some wood to supplement my iron.

I don't understand the appeal of teak - it's beautiful and rich at first, but it fades to that grayish silver color and then it's time to replace it. Kinda like what happens to women. Alright, so there are some people who like that aged, silvery look. I just don't. I'll stick to my aluminum and wrought iron and weather-resistant wicker.

Shiny, happy paper

2008-03-16T16:49:00.001-04:00

The catalog industry is wrestling a paper tiger. Apparently, not only is the cost of paper rising, but also the cost of mailing that paper. With postal rates set to jack up in May, some companies are trying to trim down the size and weight of their products. Less of that thick, shiny stuff and more pulped-out recycled featherweight material.

Does it matter? The environment and the economy aside, do catalog shoppers care whether LL Bean prints on 80-lb or 60-lb sheets? I don't think so - I mean we're not talking Charmin here (yet). As long as the models smile and the products glow, it's probably gonna fly under the radar for most consumers. And places that have the high-end clients, like Tiffany's and Neiman Marcus, are probably just gonna suck it up anyways.

Now, for catalog crazies like me, a thick, super-glossy, coated color sheet of paper is as good as crack. I can't wait to get my nose in it. So I expect to suffer some serious withdrawal. But, hey, there's always scrapbooking.

They call it mello yello

2008-03-02T18:20:00.003-05:00

I've never been a big fan of the color yellow, but based on the logs I'm seeing for spring, I better reconsider. Yellow is everywhere - from Pottery Barn to Hammacher Schlemmer. I find yellow rather irritatingly bright and shiny and false. Like, I think people who really love yellow are probably the people who are really dark inside. Why else would you want to steal the sun and wear it on your chest in the form of a sweater set?

Plus, there are so many negative connotations of yellow - heck, in the Middle Ages, yellow was the color of evil! (Sorry, Old Yeller.) It's also the color of sickness as in you're looking a bit "yellow around the gills."

I guess yellow is also a wartime color thanks to Tony Orlando & Dawn and their old oak tree. Maybe that explains its current popularity the best.(And if you don't know who TO&D are, consider yourself lucky!)

Either way, the Yellow Submarine has already left the station and landed in your mailbox. So unless you're a fashion coward, it's time to get on board.

Cheating - the garden variety

2008-02-23T12:48:00.004-05:00

I'm sure some of you thought I'd given up the bloglife, but alas, not true. Like, without this silly little blog, how would I define myself? Seriously. I'd have to pay attention to the world around me instead of getting lost in manufactured pages of ideal bliss. That's so not for me.

I did spend nearly two months trying to stick to my catalog-restricted diet. My husband had strict instructions that any catalog in the mail was to be trashed immediately. I did not want to see the new spring shoes at Lands End or the Valentine's Day baubles at Red Envelope. I must admit to feeling like a drug addict coming down off a big mail-order high - itchy and shaky - for the first few weeks. But after that, I sucked it up. I did order a few things from QVC, but that doesn't count because they don't have a catalog. (Don't argue with me!)

But then a friend, who has a passion for gardening - one that I share - started nattering on about garden catalogs. The heritage seeds and one-of-a-kind blossoms and getting your order in before spring. She made me itchy. And suddenly I was rummaging through the trash for garden catalogs. Natch, didn't find any, but said friend gave me a few ideas. So here are five catalogs to get your garden groove on.

1. Heronswood. Oh, the hellebores, the dahlias, the starry-eyed navelworts. You get my drift. The catalog specializes in new and unusual plants. All beautiful. My favorite.

2. White Flower Farm. Their new spring perennials include gorgeous bellflower, columbine and dianthus. Plus you can browse their catalog online.

3. Thompson & Morgan. They have a Pink Parasol echinacea that is their "flower of the year." It's lovely. You also get two packs of seeds free with each order.

4. D. Landreth Seed Company. The oldest seed company in America has heirloom vegetable beauties, flowering bulbs and a children's garden collection. Their products have great names, like "Luther's German Red Strawberry Tomato." If you grow your own produce, this catalog is a joy.

5. The Cooks Garden. A great collection of summer, perennial and organic herbs and seeds. Also, garden collections, including baby vegetables, four-season lettuces and French chef's garden ingredients. A fun catalog for the gourmand.

Everybody cheats

2008-01-16T22:42:00.000-05:00

Couldn't resist Crate&Barrel's new everyday catalog with my girl, Giada De Laurentis, on the cover. Luckily I only had to turn to page 3 to see that Giada is launching anew line of Italian specialty foods available only at C&B. Stuff like salt, vinegar and herbs. So tasty. But not tempting enough to make me give up my diet.

The catalog diet

2008-01-14T23:52:00.000-05:00

All these catalogs have gone to my hips. Not exactly, but it was a real pain in the rear to bundle up stacks of holiday logs for the recycling bin. I know, I've told you I'm not that responsible, but with this much paper, the green police would be after me.

How much? At least 50 pounds. I wanted to weigh the stacks on a scale, but I'm terrified of those things. Let's just say my catalog obsession is a weighty issue that probably should be evaluated by a professional.

So as of Jan. 1, I've been on a catalog diet. 14 days and still going strong. I'm reducing my dependence on glossy pieces of paper bound by staples. I'm slimming expenses, thinning clutter and narrowing my waste line.

But, boy, am I hungry.

The day after

2007-12-27T23:12:00.000-05:00

Shopping the post-Christmas sales is a bit of a guilty pleasure for many. I mean, after opening a bonanza of brightly wrapped boxes the day before, who can really claim they need to buy anything? Now, if your holiday cache consists mostly of those thin plastic squares known as gift cards, then you can be forgiven. (However, the person who gave them to you will not be. Talk about thoughtless.)

This year, I decided to shop online on Dec. 26 at one of my fave retail sites: crateandbarrel.com. I sneakily thought this would allow me to get an early start since the sale would likely hit the site at 12:01 a.m. I loaded up my cart with goodies and waited for the witching hour. It came and went with no sale. I foolishly went to bed and when I checked the site the next morning just about every item in my cart was "no longer available" online.

This is the price of greed.

I ended up at the mall, where I was able to fight off the crazies and score several rolls of the Marimekko gift wrap.

The new year cometh

2007-12-26T23:47:00.000-05:00

Holiday greetings, my dear logettes. I'm sorry I've been away for so long. Vacationing, as it were, on winter break south of the border, er, I mean in South Florida.

The sun was shining, the water was warm, the palm trees were aglow and snowbirds were in swarm. (I was never a poet, but I won't let rhyme be my reason to stop trying.)

Anyways, I'm back bitches. So, what did you get for Christmukkahzaa?

Spring training

2007-12-04T10:37:00.000-05:00

Isn't it a little early for daffodils? What about gauzy beach dresses and sandals? Last I checked it was just above freezing outside and my neighbor's yard was full of twinkling multicolor lights. A sure giveaway that this is winter. (I guess the lights could be in honor of Cinco de Mayo, but my neighbor's a pretty traditional guy.)

The catalogs must have their calendar on fast forward, because in the midst of the holiday madness, a little spring sprouted in my mailbox. Spring 2008 -- Be The First to Shop 500 New Styles! How about be the first to freeze to death in next season's margarita tankini!

Seriously, I'm sure this has something to do with "resort" season - that time of year when everyone has a cruise or cabana booked in the Caribbean -- everyone except me. So I don't do resortwear in December. I do cashmere. And layers, lots of layers. Christmas lights and fluffy white stuff called snow.

Spring can wait.

Saturday Shopping List - Foodie edition

2007-12-01T12:25:00.000-05:00

If only we all had time to stay at home and bake cookies. Most of us don't. Which makes us mad. But then we eat a stale, store-bought brownie and move on. At the holidays, food gifts are plentiful - lots of pots o gold to go around. But why not go a bit more out of the ordinary in your grub giving? Take a bite out of these tasty items I found in my holiday crop of special order food catalogs.

1. Fanny May Pixies : : Like Turtles on steroids. Chocolate, caramel, pecans. Crunchy addiction that's better to give than receive : : $29.99, fanniemay.com

2. Royal Pears and Honeybell Oranges : : Naturally juicy and oh so healthy. Aim your order to arrive in January when everyone's trying to kickstart their diets. : : Pears at harryanddavid.com; honeybells at ceebeescitrus.com

3. Olive Press Infused Olive Oil : : Olives with a twist. Freshly pressed and grown onsite at their farm in Sonoma, California. Choose from basil walnut or blood orange or liminato or many, many more. : : $18, theolivepress.com

4. Peet's Holiday Coffee : : Peet's holiday blend is eagerly anticipated, but any of their coffees (or teas) would be a good pick. Major Dickason's is my fave. : : $9.95-$12.95 per pound, peets.com

5. Collins Street Fruitcake : : OK. We know all the jokes, but some people appreciate an old-fashioned fruitcake (think grandma). And this Texas bakery delivers the best you've ever not tasted. : : $21.85, collinstreet.com

Welcome to CyberMonday

2007-11-26T09:05:00.000-05:00

If you didn't get everything on your list in the 3-day shopping-gasm after Thanksgiving, don't cry, big girl. Dry your tears and head for the computer for today's biggest online shopping day. Lots of free shipping offers, online-only deals and other cyber craziness.

I plan to hit up my favorite catalog sites, just to see what I'm missing. After last weekend, my feet hurt and my credit cards are on life support. But I'm sure you have room in your budget, darlings. So cyber-skidaddle.

Black Saturday Shopping List

2007-11-23T23:32:00.001-05:00

I know y'all are exhausted from chasing the early bird around your local mall. After all, "Black Friday" is the shopping holy day - even for log lovers. So I admit to cheating a bit yesterday and heading out to catch a few deals. I won't be fighting the crowds every weekend - I still plan to let my fingers do the walking. And so should you, darling. But now that the holiday shopping season has officially begun, I know how hard it is to resist a little group retail therapy. So here are my five tips for surviving the madness at the malls.

1. Make a list : : Avoid the temptation to browse. Go with a plan in hand and know exactly what you want to get for Sister Suzy, Uncle John, etc

2. Go early in the morning or late at night : : Go home, put dinner on the table, get the kids in bed and then head for the mall around 9 pm

3. Read the sale papers : : And if you want something specific, bring along the flier or clip it out so you can show it to the salesperson to verify price etc.

4. Look for mall rewards : : Some malls offer cash back if you use a specific credit card. It's like free money!

5. Avoid the food court : : This is where the great unwashed gathers to rest their weary whatevers. But not us. We don't need the temptation of Aunt Annie's - after all, we've got fit into a great dress for New Year's Eve.

Saturday Shopping List - Got turkey?

2007-11-17T19:58:00.000-05:00

It's time for the Big Eat. To be followed closely by the Big Sleep, as we well know. But with Thanksgiving just days away - are you ready for the in-laws? If you're hosting dinner, here are a few items that may come in handy - in addition to the brandy and other numbing agents. It's probably a little late to order, but there's always overnight shipping. Come on, you know your in-laws are worth it. Well, pretend they are.

1. Silicone prep and mixing bowls : : After all, who hasn't wanted to throw a few dishes on Thanksgiving? This way, nothing breaks and no one gets hurt. : : Chefs, $24.99-39.99

2. Hand-hammered chafing dishes with wrought iron stands : : Keeping the food hot prevents the conversation from getting too cold. : : Grandin Road, $149-$299

3. Mercury glass candleholders : : These are way too pretty to throw - unless Uncle Al pinches your ass again : : Smith&Hawken, $16-$24

4. Cheesecake Party Wheel : : If the turkey burns or, say drops on your significant other's foot by accident, let em eat cake : : Harry & David, $36.95

5. Taffetta holiday plaid wrap shirt : : Hey, a girl's gotta look good even while dishing out the gravy : : Coldwater Creek, $69.50

Come in from the cold

2007-11-17T19:08:00.001-05:00

I always think of Coldwater Creek as appealing to a woman of a certain age - certainly older than me. But I was skimming through their holiday catalog and fell in love with outfit after outfit. (Horrible thought: Am I getting old - maybe my eyes are going?)

Regardless, I love the way the log displays its clothes. There are no models, so I don't get distracted by hating some too-perfect leggy blonde type. Instead, I focus on the outfit and can imagine myself in each skirt, dress or blouse. Plus, they do a good job of showing how to accesorize each look. Right now, they're having a sale on dresses - this was my favorite, but looks like it's just about sold out.

If you're not a fan of the Creek, and I don't mean Dawson's, check out their catalog online. It certainly won't disappoint. No matter your age- or style.

Saturday Shopping List - Birthday Edition

2007-11-10T14:25:00.000-05:00

OK, darlings, I know I forgot to post a list last Saturday, but slide me some slack. I was celebrating my birthday last weekend and considering the number of candles on my cake, the only thing I should be shopping for is a facelift. Or maybe a fire extinguisher. Let's just say 40 doesn't seem so far away anymore.

So forgive me for shedding my tears in a few too many gin and tonics. I know, I know. Be grateful, count my blessings, blah blah blah. The only thing that could possibly cheer me up is a shopping spree!

1. Dinnerware : : Who says red is the only color for the holidays? How about bright hammered copper, lustrous silver and taupe or iridescent black plates that really set the table for entertaining success. : : Crate & Barrel Holiday, $19.95-$54.95

2. Flip-flop bins and mats : : Summer is so over and so are flip flops. But keep them around in these colorful storage bins and rugged door mats -- made from leftover flip flop material : : Viva Terra, $29-$135

3. Nambe Twist Cocktail Shaker : : Hold the ice. This shaker is made from Nambe metal, a cool alloy that has three times the cold retention of normal metals. Simply freeze for 30 minutes before serving drinks : : Hammacher Schlemmer, $144.95

4. Uglydoll : : With names like Toodee, Ice-Bat and Babo, these fleece dolls are so ugly they're cute : : Garnet Hill, $20

5. Built Two-bottle Tote : : It's party time and this insulated tote makes it easy to BYOB -- or to gift the hostess : : Built NY, $19-20

Catalog crusaders

2007-11-06T09:29:00.000-05:00

It's holiday season, so I knew it wouldn't be long till someone started bitching about the number of logs in their box. That bitch turns out to be the Natural Resources Defense Council. Some of their greenie friends have created a web site where the whiners can go to "opt out" of specific catalogs. No, I'm not naming it, but you can get it here.

So far LL Bean, Lands End, Pottery Barn and Victoria's Secret are the logs most people chose to opt out of. I guess people don't realize that several catalogs, including Pottery Barn and Victoria's Secret, now use recycled paper.

I really don't have a problem with the environment. I love fresh air, clean water and polar bears. (Especially that little Knut in Germany.) But I hate getting saddled with a guilt trip because I enjoy catalogs. So what if it takes 53 million trees to produce them. I've planted like six trees in my yard this year - that should help.

If I didn't have catalogs, I'd spend every weekend driving from mall to strip plaza to outlet center just to browse. How much gas would that burn? I'm guessing alot of fossils, fools.

The moo-log

2007-11-01T13:03:00.000-04:00

When I think about charity, the first thing that comes to mind is not a catalog. And when I think about making a donation, I don't usually think about heifers. (After all, I don't own any heifers. But I do know a few!) But there's a group that's combining catalogs and cows to do good in the world.

The Heifer International Gift Catalog allows you to send a gift of livestock, such as goats, chickens, cows, pigs, sheep and rabbits, to a family or community in need. The livestock is used to help create sustainable farming or to provide nutrition and income for families in villages around the world.

For example, the gift of a dairy goat ($120) can supply a family with several quarts of milk each day. Some of it they can take for themselves; the rest they can use to make cheese, butter or yogurt to sell at market. In addition, they can use goat manure to fertilize gardens, helping to create even more food for their table and the community as a whole. They can also breed the goat and sell the offspring to other members of the village.

So in many ways it's the gift that keeps on giving. And it's tax deductible. Heifer calls their log the "most important gift catalog in the world." I can't disagree.

Zapped

2007-10-29T10:09:00.000-04:00

I should have kept my big mouth shut. OK, maybe this doesn't have anything to do with me, but the way I see it - everything is about me.

So this weekend, I got my Zappos shoe order. Lickety split, as usual. Free overnight shipping. Free return shipping, if needed, but the shoes I ordered are totally cute - so I'll be steppin in these kicks soon.

But this is not about the shoes. This is about what else was in the box. A catalog! Tucked beneath the shoe box, a slick, beautifully photographed publication called Zappos Life. It's so well done, it's like porn for your feet. It just can't be the first time they've done it.

If you've seen a Zappos catalog before, holler at me. I hate to be the last one to know.

Saturday Shopping List - Free Iggy edition

2007-10-27T09:41:00.000-04:00

In honor of Ellen and Iggy, we'll take the dogs out shopping today. Although I'm more of a cat person than a dog person, I can go either way. That's why when I got a catalog called Fetchdog in the mail, I didn't toss it. This doglog has everything a pooch like Iggy could want, much of it made from earth friendly products. Check it out here.

1. Organic Sleeper : : A fluffy dog bed filled with kapok, a goose-down like fiber from a sustainably-harvested tree : : $159-230

2. Automatic Toy & Treat Dispenser : : When you're away, the dog can play for hours with a little help from Kong (watch the video) : : $110

3. Woof cosmetics : : Shampoo, soap, detangler and fur balm - all with botanical extracts. : : $14-16

4. Picadilly collar : : These fashionable collars give your dog a style all his own : : $18-27

5. Spa towels : : For Iggy and Ellen to dry their tears...no, it's a bath towel, silly : : $28-34

Lands' End vs LL Bean: Fleece fight

2007-10-25T22:38:00.000-04:00

The weather is still pretty nice, so I almost hate to think about wool and goose down. But as you all know, if you wait too late in the season to find that perfect coat, you end up with some puffy jacket in mustard yellow with green trim. Don't ask, darlings, it was a horrible outerwear nightmare.

I now know better. Much better. But I still find myself dithering between the stadium coat at Lands End and the faux shearling at LL Bean. Over the years, I've ordered more stuff from LE than LL, so I guess it's my favorite by default. LL Bean has more online traffic and is probably better known, according to this analysis. But I figured in the interest of fairness, I would do my own side-by-side comparison. So here goes:

Catalog: √ Lands End has great scenery and smiley people plus hot models
LL Bean has great scenery and smiley people, but the models seem older

Web site: √ Lands End's site is updated frequently with a rotating lineup of hot models and cute kids
LL Bean has a slide show, but the photos are small; the kids
are still cute - and the dogs, too

Service: Lands End orders can be returned at Sears stores, but otherwise you pay return postage
√ LL Bean orders can be returned at their stores, plus you can ship it back for free; they also have free shipping for the holidays

Products: √ Lands End has more trendy clothes plus a virtual model you can dress up
LL Bean has great staples and reliable clothing you can wear for years, but who wants to wear fleece forever?

Zapped by love

2007-10-22T20:05:00.000-04:00

Shoes are the one thing you can't buy from a catalog. I mean you have to try them on, stand up and give a wiggle to make sure they can handle your stride. At least that's what I thought.

Then I discovered Zappos.com. And OMG, it was love at first sight. Sole mates. Now, I don't even bother to glance at a shoe catalog. It would be like cheating. (Though I do occasionally sashay through the shoe department at Nordstrom - on my way to the mall, really, I swear!)

I was thinking that Zappos is so great, they should do a catalog. They'd probably reach more lusty shoe lovers that way. Just a thought. Although, I do hate to share, darling.

Saturday (night) shopping list

2007-10-20T18:28:00.000-04:00

I do some of my best shopping after midnight, especially online. Everything seems to load much more quickly and I can focus - finally - after everyone is asleep. So here's to a little midnight madness. And here are my Five Favorite Finds for this week.

1. Little black dresses, $295-595 : : Night shifts and sheaths with designer names from Elie Tahari to Missoni : : Neiman Marcus VIT (very important trends)

2. Honey Caramel Bees, $32 : : Handpainted chocolates with salted caramel and basswood honey - please bee mine : : John & Kira's Chocolates

3. Zebra or Leopard Jacquard Towels, $9-29 : : Go a little wild in the shower : : Pottery Barn

4. Metropolitan Museum Advent Calendar, $14.95 : : The holiday countdown has begun whether we like it or not : : The Met Store

5. Leaf night light, $39 : : Because the night belongs to us : : Viva Terra

Politi-log

2007-10-18T22:30:00.000-04:00

Here's a couple of words that don't normally appear in the same sentence: politics and catalogs.

I know you're gagging right now, but let me explain before heave up your Kung Pao.

The New York Times writes in a story today about the effect of Iowa and New Hampshire moving up their primaries/caucuses/whatever to dates that may coincide with the holiday season. Apparently, the candidates are very concerned about a Christmas/Chanukkah campaign and some say they may have to change the way they do things. For example, no direct mail because they don't want to compete with the holiday catalogs.

Now, I'd love to say - in the spirit of democracy - that there's plenty of room in my mailbox for catalogs and campaign literature. But in reality, not so much.

If I have to chose between propaganda and Pottery Barn, you can guess which gets my vote.