When tragedy strikes, people often ask the question “Where is God?” While God does not cause tragedy – He is after all, all good – He does permit it to happen. I believe He does this that we might see His Goodness.

A tornado touched down in Moore, OK last week and left lasting devastation. At least 24 people died, including 9 children. As with any tragic event, the beauty – the goodness – of God comes through in the aftermath. People will do good things; they will provide clothing and shelter, they will comfort the grieving, and they will care for the sick and wounded. All of these things give us a glimmer of the goodness of God.

Goodness is a fruit of the Holy Spirit and it seems like it should be a hard one to pin down. In a world rife with disease, violence and apathy it can be difficult to see goodness, especially goodness of a supernatural sort. Mother Theresa is probably the most widely known figure who embodied this fruit. She cared for the lowest of the low, the sick, weak, and dying. In reality, every EMT, Nurse, Doctor, First Responder and volunteer on-site in Moore is ripe with goodness. Something as simple as bringing a meal to a grieving family is a way to feed the hungry.

Goodness, as a fruit of the Spirit can be seen in the Corporal Acts of Mercy:

To feed the hungry.

To give drink to the thirsty.

To clothe the naked.

To shelter the homeless.

To visit the sick.

To visit the imprisoned (formerly known as “to ransom the captive”)

To bury the dead.

The works of mercy come from Matthew 25:31-40

And when the Son of man shall come in his majesty, and all the angels with him, then shall he sit upon the seat of his majesty. And all nations shall be gathered together before him, and he shall separate them one from another, as the shepherd separateth the sheep from the goats: And he shall set the sheep on his right hand, but the goats on his left.

Then shall the king say to them that shall be on his right hand: Come, ye blessed of my Father, possess you the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in: Naked, and you covered me: sick, and you visited me: I was in prison, and you came to me. Then shall the just answer him, saying: Lord, when did we see thee hungry, and fed thee; thirsty, and gave thee drink? And when did we see thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and covered thee? Or when did we see thee sick or in prison, and came to thee? And the king answering, shall say to them: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me.

It is easier than we think to share the fruit of goodness. I know that the Acts of Mercy my family received in the days, months and years following our infant daughter’s death were – and are! – glimmering beacons of God’s love for me in a time where my life seemed covered in darkness. While not all of us are able to perform Corporal Acts of Mercy for the suffering in Moore, we can find people in our everyday lives who are in need of goodness and we can always remember the suffering in our prayers as we perform the seventh Spiritual Act of Mercy: Pray for the living and the dead.

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I’m a melancholy person.  I look around at the world and feel an oppressive weight—the weight of the sin and suffering that encompass us.  It’s so big, and I’m so small.

 “You can do nothing here,” he said.  “Let us go.”

“My friend…”

“I tell you, you can do nothing.  Have you not troubles enough of your own?  I tell you there are thousands such in Johannesburg.  And were your back as broad as heaven, and your purse full of gold, and did your compassion reach from here to hell itself, there is nothing you can do.”—Cry, the Beloved Country

That’s how I feel: there is nothing I can do.  Even on the smaller scale of my family, I break with sorrow over my children’s choices—choices that I can’t change or make right.  My helpless grief is a heavy cross.

“Perceptive people like you wound more easily than others. But if we’re going to work on God’s side, we have to decide to open our hearts to the griefs and pain all around us. It’s not an easy decision. A dangerous one too. And a tiny narrow door to enter into a whole new world. But in that world a great experience waits for us: meeting the One who’s entered there before us. He suffers more than any of us could because His is the deepest emotion and the highest perception.”–Christy

I haven’t mastered the art of transcending my woundedness.  I cry with the pain of knowing that these things are, and that I can only watch—an impotent bystander.  I want to escape the world, to end the pain of being witness to things I can’t bear to see.

“You see, Christy, evil is real—and powerful. It has to be fought, not explained away, not fled. And God is against evil all the way. So each of us has to decide where we stand, how we’re going to live our lives. […] We can compromise with it, keep quiet about it and say it’s none of our business. Or we can work on God’s side, listen for His orders on strategy against the evil, no matter how horrible it is, and know that He can transform it.”—Christy

 I want, in my heart, and also in my pride, to do things that make a difference.  But I’m not one of those people. I am the way God made me—small and weak. I am unable to shoulder the burden of much, and I do little except pray.  It seems a feeble offering.

“What is this want of power about?[...] What then is to be done? What you can do, and for which you will never lack power.  This is to form a simple desire of good, for God sees all the actions you would wish to perform in this sincere disposition to act rightly.  Cease then to distress yourself and to lament over your weakness.  Rather say, ‘Fiat, fiat.’ This will be of infinitely more value than anything that you could say or do according to your own ideas, to please yourself.”—Abandonment to Divine Providence

Self-knowledge is painful.  Humility isn’t about being lowly; it’s about letting go of my notions of how things should be—in my family, and in the world—and in myself.  It’s acknowledging that not only am I helpless, but that this is how God intends me to be—dependent.  All my strength, all I do, must come from him alone.  Only when I’m broken can I learn this.

“It was not that she was willing to compromise with wrongdoing or poverty or ignorance just that she was a long step ahead of wasting emotional energy on fretting. […]  She was—that was all. And her stance toward life seemed to say: God is—and that is enough. But why was it enough? That was what I had to find out. Even supposing one had proof of the existence of God, how could the fact of God suffice when all around us were conditions crying to be righted? How could Miss Alice be so sure that He had the world in His hand?”– Christy

When I am feeling overcome by all that’s wrong, and by my own self-pity for what I cannot achieve, I have only to do one thing: look to Jesus.

“You have a traitor there, Aslan,” said the Witch.  Of course everyone present knew that she meant Edmund.  But Edmund had got past thinking about himself after all he’d been through and after the talk he’d had that morning.  He just went on looking at Aslan.  It didn’t seem to matter what the Witch said.”  —The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

There is an old story of St. John Vianney, in which he encounters a peasant, sitting in the church before the tabernacle.  The curé asked what the man what he was doing, and he replied, “I look at him; he looks at me.” That’s what I am trying to do now: look at him.  If I can do that, if I can look into his eyes and think only of him, if I can let go of all the things that I can’t make right, then for that moment I can breathe, I can live.

“What do you do when strength is called for and you have no strength? You evoke a power beyond your own and use stamina you did not know you had. You open your eyes in the morning grateful that you can see the sunlight of yet another day. You draw yourself to the edge of the bed and then put one foot in front of the other and keep going. You weep with those who gently close the eyes of the dead, and somehow, from the salt of your tears, comes endurance for them and for you. You pour out that resurgence to minister to the living.”—Christy

I am not in charge; God is.  If I have no strength, it is because I have tried to do things in my own power, things that he hasn’t asked me to take on.  I have to lay the burdens which trouble me at his feet, and look deeply into the eyes of Him who loved me unto death.

“And so,” continued the Witch, “That human creature is mine.  His life is forfeit to me.  His blood is my property.” [....]

“Edmund was on the other side of Aslan, looking all the time at Aslan’s face.  He felt a choking feeling and wondered if he ought to say something; but a moment later he felt that he was not expected to do anything except to wait, and do what he was told.”—The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe

“But they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”  Is 40:30

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1. Respond, don’t react. Someone said something that struck you the wrong way. Take a deep breath, pray…maybe walk away for a few minutes, but always try to respond to a conversation and avoid reacting. It’s easy to resort to knee-jerk reactions when we’re angry or over emotional. Not that us gals are easily angered or emotional. Puh-shaw! Never! Yeah, anyway. Avoid angry impulse writing, mmkay?
2. DON’T BE “LE WILD CAPS LOCK” PERSON!! IT LOOKS LIKE YOU’RE SCREAMING AT PEOPLE. Ooops! ::adjusting own caps lock:: Ah, better. So, yeah. If you want people to read what you’re writing, use capitals the way they’re meant…and sparingly for effect. In my experience, people tend to gloss over all caps comments. If you really have a love affair with caps lock, be sure to remember October 22, or Caps Lock Day, and then go wild, friend. GO NUTS WITH THE CAPS LOCK!
3. Apologize when necessary. Ack! You said something you didn’t mean to and now it’s biting you in the butt. That’s where apologizing comes in. Rarely, RARELY is there any conversation where one person is completely in the wrong and the other is completely in the right. It takes a bit of humble pie to put aside the notion that we were completely right by admitting our contribution to the derailing of the discussion. While it’s a nice thought to apologize publicly, it’s not necessary and a private message can go far. The other person may not be willing to accept your apology or continue to blast you, even privately. Still, offer your apology and toss up a prayer for them, that God will calm the anger in their heart – then move on and let the issue slide off your back like water off a duck. ::note: letting it roll off is not as easy for us gals – guys, this should not affect you any longer than oh…a nanosecond?::
4. Start by prefacing. Though it’s not always possible to avoid offending people – in fact, there will always be someone who chooses to be offended when there is nothing offensive to extract – do your best to preface your words to diffuse potential conflict. Keeping in mind from the previous post, assume charity in others and expect others to do the same for you and you have a recipe for a fruitful conversation.
5. Don’t lay out the Costco-sized bag of troll kibble. Also known as feeding the drama llama. If you know what I mean, then you know what I’m getting at. Trolls. Ah, good old internet trolls. Who doesn’t love them? Also known as pot stirrers, troublemakers, people who…probably just need a hobby, but mostly they are there to derail your conversation and have zero interest in contributing to the topic at hand. They look to get everyone’s dander up and then sit back, exit silently, and watch the fur fly. The best way to avoid these personalities is to disengage and ignore. Starve their drama llama.
6. Use “pet names” sparingly. very. sparingly.  You probably mean well, but this doesn’t translate well online. I grew up in East Texas and while I can literally hear the word sug the way it’s intended – short for sugar, sounds like “shoog” and comes with its own glass of sweet tea – it usually comes across online as condescension. I love to use these words, but I generally only reserve them for friends who know me for REALZ and would not take it as anything other than my being endearing.
7. Talk privately. Sometimes a conversation can continue, but it would be more fruitful if it’s private. Public discussions can get long, windy, and people lose their place. If you connect with someone who wants to have a genuine conversation, private message them away from the chaos of the public wall so that the focus of the conversation remains and doesn’t get derailed by the drama llama.
8. Learn to agree to disagree. It’s ok to disagree with someone. Honest. It may not feel that way in the moment and you may want to right fight to the bitter end, but sometimes {almost always} it’s better to preserve the friendship {which is way more fun and nurturing in the first place} than to beat people over the head with the right stick.
9. Learn. Just learn. Commit to learning. Even when you disagree with someone, ask yourself What can I learn from this situation? How could I have handled myself better? He mentioned a great book he read when learning about x, y, and z…I should pick that up! Adopting an attitude that commits you to challenge yourself to grow with each conversation can help you look at your communication style differently.
10. Be true to yourself. In other words, don’t be Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Keep in mind that when having a conversation with someone in person vs. online your presence on both should be relatively similar. Of course not accounting for the occasional fluctuation of off days here and there, most people who know you should confidently be able to say you are the same in real life {IRL} as you are online. Why is this important? Well, it ties into the idea that if you wouldn’t be brash and in someone’s face to their actual face, then it stands to reason that we would want to strive to come across in the same way online.

So, there you have it! You are ready to tackle the comboxes with renewed enthusiasm and you will never make any mistakes, right? I know these days, I am rarely that invested in a topic anymore – many, many, MANY minutes/hours/days wasted on what usually amounted to fruitless arguments led to the ability to detach myself from pointless emotions. In fact, one glance up from my computer to look at all the crayons strewn about, Mt. Washmore staring me down and hungry kids pecking on the floor for scraps of food snap me back to what is more important. Cleaning! No, the kids. Wait. Kids who clean?

In my next installment, I will venture into no-man’s land by talking about parenting ::DUN DUN DUN!!!!:: teenagers online {said in loud ominous voice – start your prayers now, folks!}. Recognizing that I was also a teen at the time of the birth of the public internet, this should make for an interesting topic. Until next time, friends!

The post Confessions of The Original Online Junkie: How to Avoid Internet Road Rage II appeared first on Catholic Sistas.

A valid Catholic marriage results from four elements:
(1) the spouses are free to marry;
(2) they freely exchange their consent;
(3) in consenting to marry, they have the intention to marry for life, to be faithful to one another and be open to children; and
(4) their consent is given in the presence of two witnesses and before a properly authorized Church minister.

According to Canon Law code 1065, before marriage the couple should be involved with the Diocesan marriage prep procedure, and it is during or prior this time that the would-be spouses are Confirmed, if they have not previously received confirmation and it can be done without grave inconvenience.

1.  God instituted Matrimony for the special purpose of entrusting to the married couple the privilege of cooperating with Him in the generation of children and of caring for the souls and bodies of their children.  ”May both she and her husband see their children’s children and live on to a happy old age, through Jesus Christ our Lord.  Amen.”  ~ The Nuptial Mass Blessing.  As stated in Mark 10:14, “Suffer the little children to come unto Me, and forbid them not, for of such is the kingdom of God.”  So it is a grievous sin for the married couple to prevent God’s special purpose of Matrimony.  The Sacrament of Matrimony gives husband and wife the gace to be faithful to each other and to bring up their children in the love and fear of God.

2.  The true marriage of Christians is always a Sacrament, for Jesus Christ raised marriage to the dignity of  a Sacrament.  ”It is evident that among Christians every true marriage is a Sacrament, and nothing can be farther from the truth than to say that the Sacrament merely adds a certain decoration. ” Pope Leo XIII

3.  The Christian man and the Christian woman who make the marriage contract are the ministers of the Sacrament of Matrimony.  ”I take you to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”  ~ The Marriage Promise.  The marriage couple freely and publicly bind themselves to live together faithfully until death, as husband and wife.  Therefore, the husband cannot during the life of his wife have another wife, nor can the wife during her husband’s life have another husband.

4.  Christian marriage is governed by the laws of God and His Church. The State may make laws which concern only the civil effects of Christian marriage; for example, property rights.  The State cannot grant an absolute divorce with permission to marry again, for the State has no right or authority to judge a valid marriage if one or both of the married couple is baptized.  ”What therefore God has joined together, let no man put asunder.” ~ Mark 10:9

5.  For a valid Catholic marriage, the couple must be free to marry, freely consent to the marriage, and marry before the parish priest, or a priest delegated by him, or a permanent deacon, and in the presence of two witnesses.  If the couple fail to fulfill the requirements of a valid marriage, there is no marriage.   For a lawful Catholic marriage, it is further required that each of the contracting couple must be in a state of grace, be sufficiently instructed in Christian Doctrine, and observe the laws which the Church has made to keep marriage sacred.  ” We are the children of saints, and we must not be joined together like heathens that know not God.” ~ Tobias 8:5

6.  Catholics should marry at a Nuptial Mass and receive Holy Communion because the Church has appointed this Mass  to call down God’s blessings on the married couple.  ”May the God of Abraham, be with you, and may He fulfill His blessing in you, that you may see your children’s children even to the third and fourth generation, and afterwards possess life everlasting, by the assistance of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  ~ Nuptial Mass Blessing.

7.  To prepare for a holy and happy marriage, Catholics should pray fervently that God will direct their choice of a life partner, seek the advice of their parents and confessor, practice virtues especially purity, go to Confession and Holy Communion frequently, and consult their pastor with enough time before the intent to marry.  ”And the third day, there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee, and the Mother of Jesus was there.  And Jesus also was invited, and His disciples to the marriage.  My son, do nothing without counsel, and you shall not repent when you have done.” ~ Ecclesiasticus 32:34

8.  Catholics should try not to marry non-Catholics because such marriages sometimes result in loss of Faith on the part of the Catholic and in neglect of the religious training of the children.  The Church does sometimes, but always reluctantly and only for very grave reasons, grant dispensations from her law regarding these mixed marriages.  When the Church does grant them, she always insists that the non-Catholic party promise (sometimes even in writing) not to interfere with the Catholic life of the other party.  Also that both parties have all the children of the marriage baptized and brought up in the Catholic Faith.   Most priests would probably advise caution and clearly state expectations.  Of course, there is the idea and understanding that some mixed marriages will later turn out a convert.  So trying to stick to dating Catholics only might be a better idea just for the sake of simplicity.  Doesn’t mean it can’t happen the other way, of course.  {side note: I happen to know a couple whose mixed marriage produced two sons who are practicing Catholics, one of whom is a seminarian, and the non-Catholic spouse ended up becoming Catholic but it did take 22 years for this to happen.}  So, while it is ideal for couples to be  both Catholic, it is not unknown for there to be successful mixed marriages as long as certain expectations are observed from the beginning.***

9.  Some marriages prove to be unhappy because husband and wife married hastily and with unworthy motives.  They probably did not ask God’s help in this marriage difficulties and they also neglected the duties of their married life.  ”Husbands, love your wives, as Christ also loved the Church.”  ~ Ephesians 5:25.  ”Wives, be subject to your husbands as it behooves in the Lord.” ~ Colossians 3:18  There are situations where the Church issues annulments.  It should be made clear that an

10.  The practice of family prayers will bring rich blessings on married life.  As Blessed John Paul II once said, “the family that prays together, stays together!”  ”May the God of Abraham be with you and may He join you together, and fulfill His blessing in you.”  ~ Tobias 7:15.

*** Since we’ve had so many comments regarding this point, I am adding the section on Mixed Marriages from the  Catechism of the Catholic Church.:

Mixed marriages and disparity of cult

1633 In many countries the situation of a mixed marriage (marriage between a Catholic and a baptized non-Catholic) often arises. It requires particular attention on the part of couples and their pastors. A case of marriage with disparity of cult (between a Catholic and a non-baptized person) requires even greater circumspection.

1634 Difference of confession between the spouses does not constitute an insurmountable obstacle for marriage, when they succeed in placing in common what they have received from their respective communities, and learn from each other the way in which each lives in fidelity to Christ. But the difficulties of mixed marriages must not be underestimated. They arise from the fact that the separation of Christians has not yet been overcome. The spouses risk experiencing the tragedy of Christian disunity even in the heart of their own home. Disparity of cult can further aggravate these difficulties. Differences about faith and the very notion of marriage, but also different religious mentalities, can become sources of tension in marriage, especially as regards the education of children. The temptation to religious indifference can then arise.

1635 According to the law in force in the Latin Church, a mixed marriage needs for liceity the express permission of ecclesiastical authority.¹³⁷ In case of disparity of cult an express dispensation from this impediment is required for the validity of the marriage.¹³⁸ This permission or dispensation presupposes that both parties know and do not exclude the essential ends and properties of marriage; and furthermore that the Catholic party confirms the obligations, which have been made known to the non-Catholic party, of preserving his or her own faith and ensuring the baptism and education of the children in the Catholic Church.¹³⁹

1636 Through ecumenical dialogue Christian communities in many regions have been able to put into effect a common pastoral practice for mixed marriages. Its task is to help such couples live out their particular situation in the light of faith, overcome the tensions between the couple’s obligations to each other and towards their ecclesial communities, and encourage the flowering of what is common to them in faith and respect for what separates them.

1637 In marriages with disparity of cult the Catholic spouse has a particular task: “For the unbelieving husband is consecrated through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is consecrated through her husband.”¹⁴⁰ It is a great joy for the Christian spouse and for the Church if this “consecration” should lead to the free conversion of the other spouse to the Christian faith.¹⁴¹ Sincere married love, the humble and patient practice of the family virtues, and perseverance in prayer can prepare the non-believing spouse to accept the grace of conversion.

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Fleshing out the teachings of the Catholic Church is like turning around an aircraft carrier: it’s done slowly and methodically, taking considerable time and care. And she typically only takes on that task when her teachings are under attack. Take contraception, for example…for nearly 2,000 years, “Contraception is immoral” was sufficient for most Catholics to eschew it.

Then the Pill offered couples easy, reliable family planning and suddenly, the Church’s teaching seemed inadequate. Especially when compared to secular feminism and humanism, which touted contraception as the enlightened path to equality for women, more satisfying marriages, and stronger families.

The Church caught up–eventually–with God giving us the profoundly beautiful teachings about conjugal love through John Paul II’s “theology of the body,” as well as modern natural family planning methods that are scientifically proven to be as effective as the best hormonal contraception. Catholic couples today are blessed that they have not only the means to be faithful to Christ, but plenty of compelling reasons to be, too.

We see the same thing happening today with same-sex attraction (SSA). Until now, the Church’s concise teaching was enough: “Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity, tradition has always declared that “homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered” (CCC 2357).

The Church also says that “This inclination…constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided.” But for many people, the call to compassion is hollow. Why? Because this is what they really hear the Church saying:  

We’re sorry you aren’t attracted to the opposite sex. We’ll pray for you to conquer these filthy desires. Sure, you’ll be lonely and miserable for the rest of your life if you’re celibate, but what’s a little suffering to gain heaven in the end?

Then there’s the secular world, which for the most part accepts and even celebrates SSA, claiming the orientation is so innate that it’s analogous to skin color. (And what kind of unenlightened bigot could fault a person for simply being who they are?) The world says homosexual acts are just another normal expression of human sexuality. These messages are more palatable to folks, especially to those who actually struggle with SSA and its stigma. The secular world seems so much more, well, loving and compassionate than the Church does on this issue…so much more enlightened. It’s not, but it’s the perception that’s killing us.

I understand this better than most because I’m a practicing Catholic and I live with same-sex attraction. I’ve known and loved many souls who struggle with it, too. Some of whom are trying to live as faithful Christians and others who live an openly and unapologetically gay life. If what the world says is true, then it’s easy to understand why so many with SSA reject the Church’s teachings. Who wants to be celibate–and thus, alone and miserable–for the rest of their life? 

If living a lonely and miserable life was the only way a person with SSA could be a faithful Catholic, I’d probably have jumped ship long ago. But that’s not God’s plan for us. Instead, God’s plan is so simple, so elegant, that it escapes the notice of even most Christians:

Intimacy.

God wants nothing less than the deepest, most profound communion with his creatures. But for a culture that thinks almost exclusively in physical terms, the only relationship worth seeking is the one that ends in sexual union.

Let’s be honest with ourselves, though. We seek the physical union because we hope it’s the means by which we’ll achieve the spiritual union. We intuitively know that the most sublime joy we can experience is spiritual, not physical. Would any of us suggest that a mother’s overwhelming joy at seeing her new baby for the first time is on par with savoring a good steak dinner? Or imagine that any sensory pleasure could compare to a father’s happiness at seeing the son again that he thought had died in the war, alive and well before him instead? The same is true of marriage. We don’t marry because we want a sex partner at the ready for the rest of our days; we marry because we want to share our soul with another soul. The physical part of the relationship–in healthy marriages, anyway–is simply the most intimate way we express that spiritual connection.

What every human person seeks–regardless of sexual orientation–is spiritual intimacy. We want to love and be loved by the other unconditionally, with such intensity that it scorches the soul. We want this: 

Late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient and so new; late have I loved you! You were within me, and I was outside; and I sought you outside and in my loneliness fell upon those lovely things that you have made. You were with me, but I was not with you…. You called me and cried to me and broke open my deafness; you sent forth your beams and shone upon me and chased away my blindness; you breathed your fragrance upon me, and I drew in my breath and now I pant for you; I tasted you, and now I hunger and thirst for you; you touched me, and I burn for your peace.

Would you be surprised to know that St. Augustine wrote this about God more than 1500 years ago? Most people are. God, of course, desires this intimacy even more than we do, which is why he pursues us so relentlessly, no matter how many times we reject him. Even those of us who love God and are engaged in vibrant friendships with him can only dimly comprehend the depths of his love for us:

Is it a small thing in your eyes to be loved by God…to be the son, the spouse, the love, the delight of the King of glory? Christian, believe this, and think about it: you will be eternally embraced in the arms of the love which was from everlasting, and will extend to everlasting, of the love which brought the Son of God’s love from heaven to earth, from earth to the cross, from the cross to the grave, from the grave to glory, that love which was weary, hungry, tempted, scorned, scourged, buffeted, spat upon, crucified, pierced…which fasted, prayed, taught, healed, wept, sweated, bled, died. That love will eternally embrace you. (English poet Richard Baxter)

The person with SSA yearns for love because he is made for love; we all are. But the love God plans for those of us who suffer SSA looks nothing like the world imagines it to be.

Please join us next Thursday for Part 2, in which I explain why same-sex attraction is a sign of God’s special favor.  

The post I’m Catholic. I’m Gay. Now What? (Part 1) appeared first on Catholic Sistas.

My kids attend public school right now, and so they get less faith formation than I’d hope for. But I still try to integrate our faith into their life with activities outside of school that will help them learn and grow in their faith.

For us Catholic Christians the month of May is full of tradition and activity that is done in remembrance of Our Lord’s mother, Mary. She’s a shining example of how to serve God. During this month we honor her and use her examples of faith and service to help us grow in those areas of our own life as well.

Often times I can’t find crafts activities that I imagine being great teaching tools, so I make my own. This is one I made for my kids this month.

This diorama is really simple to put together and you don’t need much to get it started! There are many things you could add to it to make it as embellished as you like (glitter, ribbon, etc), but I’m going to show you the basics. So here we go!

You have a few options to print out Mary and her flower garden. You can right-click and save this next image. Or you canclick this link and it will take you to a printable PDF. I will suggest printing it on a cardstock type paper if you can. If not, it will work still, but the pieces may be a little more floppy.

Next have your kids color the images and cut them out. You can be as detailed or simple as you’d like both with coloring, and with cutting.

When you are done coloring and cutting, the next thing you are going to want to do is help the kids cut some little strips to fold and tape to the back of their flower garden pieces and to the back of the image of Mary. I simply used some of the scraps of paper that were left after all the pieces were cut out. Cut small strips and fold them in half to form an L shape. Tape one side to the back of the colored images, and fold a small circle of tape so that it can be attached to the underside of the L and stick securely to the shoe box.

For my shoe box, I attached Mary first to some decorative card stock. Cut it to fit the bottom of your box by tracing around the edges of your box onto your paper and cut it out. You could also have your children color or paint the inside of the box, or cover it completely with pretty paper or glitter, or even moss might be pretty!

I attached Mary to the cardstock, and then taped the cardstock with double-sided tape to the inside of the box.

Your finished project will look something like this!

The Magnificat

Luke 1:46-55

My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,

my spirit rejoices in God my Savior

for he has looked with favor on his lowly servant.

From this day all generations will call me blessed:

the Almighty has done great things for me,

and holy is his Name.

He has mercy on those who fear him

in every generation.

He has shown the strength of his arm,

he has scattered the proud in their conceit.

He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,

and has lifted up the lowly.

He has filled the hungry with good things,

and the rich he has sent away empty.

He has come to the help of his servant Israel

for he has remembered his promise of mercy,

the promise he made to our fathers,

to Abraham and his children for ever.

 

If you try out this project be sure to come back and let me know how it went for you! I’d love to see your own dioramas!

::Originally from California’s wine country, Celeste Bowen is a military wife, mother of three, artist, blogger and small business owner at Doodle La. Inspired by the world around her, she uses her artistic background to share one of a kind artwork, handmade diapers, clothing and do-it-yourself projects on her blog and via her online store. Trained in the culinary arts and experienced in the restaurant industry, Celeste enjoys coming up with new, resourceful recipes and baked goods to share with her family and readers. You can follow her creative journey by visiting Doodle La’s website, Instagram, Pinterest and Facebook page. This post was originally published on the blog Doodle La::

The post Mary Diorama appeared first on Catholic Sistas.

Where we live now we have to cross over train tracks every day to get to town.  As it happens we are often stopped by trains on a frequent basis.  When we first moved to our home it bothered me a lot.  I was busy.  I had things to do.  I needed to get places.  Sitting and waiting on a freight train, especially the super long ones, was not in my daily plans.  I would be frustrated when I’d get close to the crossing only to see the train lights start flashing and the arms descending to block my way.

Back in the days before I had children old enough to stay home and babysit younger children I took all the kids with me everywhere I went.  They were often excited to see that a train was coming and would yell, “Roll down the windows, Mama!”  We would roll down the windows and listen to the whistle as the train drew nearer.  Then we would hear the thunderous sound of the train wheels clanking along the tracks.  They would wonder aloud who was on the train, where it was going, and why was it going there.

I began to ponder why there was such a huge difference in how we viewed waiting on the train.  I viewed it as a burden- something interrupting my day, wasting my time.  My children saw it as wondrous- this huge mechanical beast traveling to who knows where but definitely off on an adventure.  I found that I liked their view better.

I decided to change my outlook regarding the wait I knew I would have to endure over and over again.  Instead of being impatient and frustrated I would take that time to reflect.  As I sat waiting the next time at the train stop I suddenly understood what I couldn’t see before.   God was blessing me when I would have to stop for that never-ending train.  He was giving me a quick break from my busy day; a time to sit quietly, to pray a prayer or two, a time to just stop and look out my window to see the beauty that surrounded me.  He also was giving me time to enjoy the wonder in my children’s eyes as they discussed who might be on the train and where they might be going.  I suddenly felt silly for all the other times I muttered under my breath, “Really God?” as I was stopped by the train.

There are times that I still occasionally get frustrated when I’m in a hurry and I see those arms lowering to stop me from crossing the tracks.  The difference now is that I can re-center myself to think about why God might be slowing me down.  I trust that He has a reason and I take that time to thank Him for everything He has given me, especially for the opportunity to wait on the train headed anywhere.

The post Waiting on a Train Going Anywhere appeared first on Catholic Sistas.

Did you know that through all Masses offered, nearly the entire Bible is covered in the three year cycle of readings?

Let us join together, quietly reflecting on today’s readings:

Follow this link to today’s readings.

Heavenly Father,
Today we also bring to you the Prayer Requests that are left here on our Catholic Sistas site.

For all General Intentions, we pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer.

For our Homeward Bound Intentions {for friends and family who are Christian and we would love to see come home to the Church}, we pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer.

For our Teardrops Intentions {those who have lapsed from the Faith}, we pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer.

For our Heavenly Ambassador Intentions {for children who have returned with our Heavenly Father, through miscarriage, infant or child loss}, we pray to the Lord.
Lord, hear our prayer.

Be assured of our prayers as we all pray together:

O my God! I offer you all my prayers, works and sufferings of this day, in union with the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and through the Immaculate Heart of Mary, for the following intentions of those who gather to read, contribute and share the Faith. Amen.

For those who would like to leave their prayer requests, please follow this link.

As part of our blogging schedule we have agreed as a group that we will not be doing individual blog posts on Sundays. Our Splendid Sundays is set to auto-post so that we can keep holy the Sabbath and spend time with our families.

The post Splendid Sundays – May 19, 2013 appeared first on Catholic Sistas.

According to the Catechism of the Catholic Church, our human dignity comes from God’s love for us and his invitation to us to share in that love. We are the only creatures that he made in his image, for our own sake, to know him, love him, and share in his life. Even the worst criminal still bears that image of God in his being, though he may be cut off from God’s grace through his choices. And he still retains the invitation extended by God to love him and serve him, until he takes his last breath. It is because of these truths that the Catechism says that, while the State does have the right to execute some criminals, the Death Penalty should be used only as a last resort.

Most Catholics today enthusiastically support the position that the Death Penalty should be abolished in this country. However, many of us fail to carry this concern for the dignity of criminals beyond the question of whether they should live or die. While we want them to have their lives spared, some of us desire that prisoners be treated poorly or even inhumanely while they live out their sentences. We say we are glad that they are not getting the “easy way out” by being put to death, and hope that they live many agonizing years behind bars. We make jokes about prisoners being violated or otherwise harmed by the other prisoners. We celebrate when we hear of a prison where inmates are humiliated purposefully, just for the sake of humiliation. We spew hatred and vitriol against them in internet comboxes. We complain that they have any access to television or that our precious tax dollars are paying to feed them anything more appetizing (or healthy) than bologna sandwiches.

I’m not suggesting that prisoners need to be given access to cable TV or certain kinds of food in order to be treated in accord with their dignity. Rather, it is our annoyance with any comfort they may have in prison coupled with our glee at any discomfort they may have—in short, our desire to see them suffer— that is an offense against their dignity. We have to ask ourselves what our reasons are for wanting prisoners to be humiliated and treated as harshly as possible, and then compare those reasons to what the Church says about the purpose of punishment.

The Church holds that punishment has a basically fourfold purpose – rehabilitation, defense of society against the criminal, deterrence, and retribution. (Take note that retribution is not the same as vengeance). We may legitimately believe it wrong for prisoners to be treated to overly comfortable conditions in prison, because we do not think that justice is satisfied or rehabilitation is facilitated by such a scenario. We may even legitimately support the death penalty in limited cases. But a virtuous and detached concern for justice is a far cry from the vengefulness that often is the real cause of us wanting prisoners to be as miserable in prison as possible, or to be put to death.

Church teaching indicates that when the aim of punishment (especially protection of society) can be fulfilled in ways more in keeping with human dignity, the Death Penalty should not be used. The logical extension of that is that we should always be trying to balance the aims of punishment with the protection of the dignity of the human person – not just when it comes to the question of the Death Penalty. We must always balance our concern for justice with our duty to love. My husband is a law enforcement officer and I see him trying to do just that. He has to fight against the strong temptation in his career to see criminals as less-than-human, as irredeemable. But he also has to keep the common good – the safety of society – at the forefront of his mind. He supports longer sentences for criminals than what they typically receive through our local court system, but he does so because society is not being protected adequately through the “slaps on the wrists” that are handed out far too often for serious crimes. It is acceptable and even laudable to support tough penalties for those who commit serious crimes, as long as we do not do so out of malice toward them.

As the wife of a police officer, I have to fight against the same temptations as my husband. I truly understand and sympathize with people who have a difficult time extending mercy toward those who harm others with their evil choices. I understand wanting them to know nothing but pure misery while they serve their sentences. My emotions don’t always align with what I know intellectually to be the truth. The truth is that criminals are people too. And it’s not enough simply to support their right to life; we have to love them, too. It’s possible to satisfy all the aims of punishment, including retribution and protection of society, without trying to strip them of their dignity. In fact, I think the aim of rehabilitation is more likely to be achieved when prisoners are shown basic human decency and treated like they still have worth even though they have done great evil.

We have great examples of how we should treat prisoners in recent popes. Several have visited the imprisoned, as Jesus told us we should. But some have gone even further in their extension of charity to prisoners. Pope Francis gave a strong witness to the dignity of the imprisoned when he washed the feet of juvenile prisoners on Holy Thursday.  Pope John Paul II forgave his own would-be assassin, in addition to visiting with him in prison. Most Catholics celebrate these examples, but many of us do not ask ourselves enough whether we are living in light of them.

I said above that it might be a difficult truth that Gosnell is loved by God. But at the same time, it is a very comforting truth. If someone like him—who mercilessly killed thousands of innocent babies and showed great indifference to the lives and health of the women who were his patients – is still loved by God and still has a chance at salvation, that means that there is always hope for me, too, no matter what sins I may commit. It is only by God’s grace that I or any one of you reading this is not in Gosnell’s place. None of us is above grave sin. It’s certainly within the realm of possibility that I could someday find myself with a large chasm between God’s grace and me. It is comforting to know that even then, God’s image would still be imprinted on my being and he would thus still be reaching out to me across the chasm.

The post Love Your Enemies appeared first on Catholic Sistas.

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Priest Blogs

There are many priests who are blogging now, maybe you even know one or two yourself. Some use blogs to publish their homilies, some for apologetics discussions, and much more. Some of the favorite priest blogs among the Catholic Sistas include:

Fr. Z’s blog: What Does the Prayer Really Say?

Monsignor Charles Pope, who has a blog on the website for the Archdiocese of Washington.

Fr. Dwight Longenecker’s blog at Patheos: Standing on My Head

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Catholic Channel on Patheos

In addition to Fr. Longenecker’s blog at Patheos, there are many others that have great content. Too many to choose from, of course, but here are a few we picked out:

The Anchoress, aka Elizabeth Scalia (of course!)

Bad Catholic

The Crescat

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Catholic Mom Blogs

A very popular category among the ink slingers is the Catholic mom blogs. I bet you’re not surprised, are you? There were a lot  of blogs we could have listed here, but instead here’s three of our favorites:

In the Heart of my Home by Elizabeth Foss

Testosterhome by Rachel Balducci

Shoved to Them by Rebecca Frech

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Apologetics Blogs

We also enjoy reading blogs that make us think and help us continue to learn. Here are a few we enjoy:

Phat Catholic Apologetics

St. Joseph’s Vanguard by Devin Rose

Young, Evangelical, and Catholic by Brantly Millegan

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Multi-Contributor Blogs

As much as we’d like to include ourselves here, we’ll refrain. But there are plenty of others we enjoy! Multi-contributor blogs can be so diverse, ranging from families writing together to collections of variant writers on a wide-range of topics to posts from a variety of authors collected on one website but pointing back to their individual blogs. Some favorites of ours include:

CatholicMom.com

Like Mother, Like Daughter

The Integrated Catholic Life

Catholic Spirituality Blogs Network

–6–

Miscellaneous Blogs

Some blogs just don’t fit neatly into a category. Some are inspirational, some offer support, and there are many more.

The Breadbox Letters

NFP and Me

The Apostolate of Hannah’s Tears

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Finally, a big shout out to a favorite blog of all of ours and host of the 7 Quick Takes series, Conversion Diary. Be sure to go visit and check out all the many other Quick Takes posts and discover a few new blogs while you’re at it.

What are some of your favorite Catholic blogs? Share with us in the comments.

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