CatholicLove.com: Blog

Dominic: Our Little Intercessor from Above

2011-12-27T22:03:00.001-07:00

From the beginning, when we lost Dominic through late miscarriage in October of 2010, I have always thought of him as our little Saint in heaven.

For some reason, many people refer to babies dying within the womb as angels. I believe this is a misrepresentation of who our child is within the womb. Angels are angels. They are messengers of God. They are not human.

I think Dominic and all babies who die within the womb can be ‘compared’ to an angel because they do send us a message like our heavenly angels do. In other words, they can act like a messenger so to speak.

Since a few months ago, I have been writing in a journal dedicated to Dominic. I write letters to him almost every day.

A couple of weeks ago, our oldest son woke up with a very stiff neck. Right away, I thought it was rather odd. I thought about calling for a doctor’s appointment but instead, I decided to wait and see thinking he may have just slept the wrong way. Later that same day, I took his temperature and he had a high fever.

We realized that there was a need to take him in to get his condition checked. Thankfully, the doctor did not think it was meningitis but requested blood tests just to be on the safe side.

Before going to bed, I wrote to Dominic in my journal. I wrote asking Dominic to ask Jesus to help his brother get better. The next morning Raymond had no fever but his neck was still pretty stiff. Raymond told me that he had a dream. He said Dominic was in his dream and he had fluffy, curly hair. I asked him if Dominic talked to him. He said he did not remember but a little later he said that Dominic told him, “I love you” in his dream.

I thought wow, coincidence? No, I believe this is not a coincidence. Did Dominic really intercede for us? Yes, I believe he did. I told this to a family member who said he has asked for Dominic’s intercession as well and whatever he asked for was granted.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church talks more in detail about the communion of saints and more specifically, the intercession of the saints. In regards to the intercession of the saints, the CCC stated:

Being more closely united to Christ, those who dwell in heaven fix the whole Church more firmly in holiness… They do not cease to intercede with the Father for us, as they proffer the merits which they acquired on earth through the one mediator between God and men, Christ Jesus… So by their fraternal concern is our weakness greatly helped.

Furthermore, the CCC added, “Do not weep, for I shall be more useful to you after my death and I shall help you then more effectively than during my life” (p. 205).

The latter are two very powerful statements. They can truly be consoling to those who are grieving a loss of a loved one.

I am so proud of our little Saint in heaven. We miss him terribly yet what a gift God has given us in his short life here on earth.

Lucille Everett

Our Second Christmas without Dominic

2011-12-26T16:33:00.001-07:00

Last year, we spent our first Christmas without the baby we lost through miscarriage at almost 18 weeks gestation. Like many around this time of year, instead of being a joyful event, Christmas turns into a burden that we don’t necessarily fully look forward to but instead dread.

Grief overpowered me last year and this year it was still there at a different level. As much as I desired my heart to be more joyful this time of year, my heart just was what it was because someone was missing. People have many different ways of dealing with grief. Some may choose to ignore it or deny it, some may set it aside, some may resort to bitterness and anger, and some choose to deal with it head on. How do you deal with grief?

The neat thing is that even though we may be stuck in grief, it is difficult to ignore the fact that Jesus is now with us as a baby spreading peace all over the world. Mary desires with all her heart for us to touch him and hold him. He is the Saviour of the world. She wants us to draw near to him and weep with joy.

Before Christmas, I was drawn to listen to an old cassette I bought on one of my two trips to Medjugorje. The cassette is called “The Story of a Wounded Womb” by Sister Emmanuel. One of the things that Sister Emmanuel talks about is about a man she met who was in deep distress and hopeless. His life was on the brink of being turned upside down. This man was in Medjugorje, received a tape about a man named Albert who made a deal with Our Lady. The deal was he would give all of his burdens to Our Lady and in return he would pray for Our Lady’s intentions.

He met Sister Emmanuel and told her about all of his hardships. He said he was going to give Our Lady all of his problems. The next day, he was looking for Sister Emmanuel to talk to her before leaving. He was weeping for joy because he prayed for hours for Our Lady’s intentions with his heart. He told Sister Emmanuel that he received a telegram saying he got his job back after being fired. His wife did not want a divorce anymore and his health was not so serious as to require surgery.

What would happen if we all gave Our Lady our burdens? In exchange, what if we prayed for all of Our Lady’s intentions? Perhaps we can start with, “Mary, I give my burdens to you and I will offer up this rosary for your intentions…” Amen.

Merry Christmas everyone!

May God richly bless you and give you the graces you need to deal with all of your burdens.

Lucille Everett

9 months after 17 week Miscarriage

2011-12-13T22:09:00.001-07:00

I wrote this in July of this year but I am posting it now with a few changes:

I last posted on this subject in January so it has been a while. A lot of growing has been happening since then and the pain in my heart has softened some from being rock hard so there is some improvement. I am smiling more and actually laughing sometimes. I am really learning more and more to be more present to my children and husband. Catherine Doherty liked to call it the duty of the moment. For me, sometimes the duty of the moment means soaking in what my children are saying and really listen to what they are saying for example. It is so easy as parents to sometimes say, “Uh huh, uh huh”, when we seem to hear some things over and over.

Another big area I am growing in since our losing our tiny baby Dominic at 17 weeks is trust in God and in the people around me. Ironically, as I was reading an excerpt from my journal, in July of 2010, I wrote something that my husband John had told me. He told me that in order for me to go in the next room of my spiritual growth, I need to take a leap of faith. I need to let go of all the things that cling or stick to me re: wounds from the past. He further said that the next room for me involves abandoning myself to him and to God thus letting myself fall back, wait and trust that someone will catch me on the other side.

I elaborated and wrote that it is much easier for me or anyone to act or operate according to what my wounds are saying rather than facing my fears of a wound being touched and then to embrace the suffering if it comes.

John then suggested meditating on the gospel of John when Jesus was arrested. In this gospel, Jesus makes it clear to the soldier’s that He is going by His own will to suffer for our sins. He had total trust.

This Gospel reading also reminds me of the total trust and obedience of Abraham when asked to sacrifice his only Son. The story of Abraham is the perfect pre re-enactment of the future death of Jesus but without the death of Abraham’s son Isaac. For Abraham it was the ultimate test of which he passed with flying colors. He loved and total trust in God. Are we able and willing to trust God to this extreme?

The Divine Mercy Chaplet has been a daily practice for us since losing Dominic. I wrote how this came about in a previous post. “Jesus, I trust in You!” is what it says below the Divine Mercy Image. I believe the more we say this prayer, the more Jesus is teaching us about trust and His Infinite Mercy.

Lord, Have Mercy on Us! Help us and teach us how to trust in you completely.

Tenderness and the Heart Broken Open

2011-05-08T21:10:00.001-06:00

St. Monica prayed and waited for the conversion of her son, St. Augustine, for _decades_. We look to her for perseverance in prayer no matter the cost.

When a deep conversion and eventual release of the heart takes place in one that we love it can be very tempting to want to draw this new experience of the other’s heart out as much as possible and as soon as possible.

However, just as it is when one has not eaten for a very long time and we must patiently eat very small portions, we must be patient and tender with our beloved and wait at their side during the process of the heart’s opening.

If we rush things we can end up causing our beloved’s heart to close back up and withdraw. Or, we may get lost in our selfish desire to open that heart up all the quicker.

Where is this coming from? Well, we all know that to a lessor or greater extent we all have our history of being hurt with the possibility of developing some very elaborate defenses and coping mechanisms depending on how extreme things were.

One of the most difficult things for those of us that have been deeply wounded in the past after getting married and living with that one person day after day is to let go and totally trust our spouse.

To let go so thoroughly that the heart is completely revealed to the other . . . nothing is held back. The ultimate in vulnerability.

Now, given that our spouse probably has their own history to deal with, again with protection mechanisms and coping mechanisms, it becomes all the harder to open up our heart to the other and be _totally_ vulnerable with them.

I mean, how could we since we sense that there is something within their own heart that they are holding back?

Yet our Lord makes it so clear through St. Paul in Ephesians 5 that we as men are called to do just that _over and over and over and over again_!

We are called to make continual sacrifices on behalf of our wife and child(ren). We are called to forgo our own pains, struggles, and selfish hurts to be totally vulnerable _to them_.

If we lose sight of our calling to be completely open and sacrificing our lives for our wife then we miss the opportunity to make an offer of love for her healing.

Day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year . . . just as St. Monica made continual sacrifice and prayer for her son we offer our sacrifices to the Lord through Our Lady for our wife.

In the end, after all of that, the Lord may pleasantly surprise both of us with an amazing gift of healing that produces an openness of the heart that is gift beyond all imagination.

Indeed, there is Resurrection after the Passion and Death on the Cross!

John Everett

Memorial of the Apparition Michael the Archangel

Catholic Saints of the Day

Working on My to do list: Part 2

2011-04-15T06:41:00.000-06:00

The following poem was another piece of writing that I was inspired to write last June/2010. It was inspired in part by an excerpt of a talk by a priest named Father Larry Richards. Here it is:

I’ve come to set you free,

Come confess with me.

I’ve come to set you free,

Come adore me.

Let me cover your sins, your wounds with My Most Precious Blood.

Let me deliver you from this flood.

Walk on the water,

Come follow me.

I will guide you,

To the place

I want you to be.

Let me lead your heart.

Let us not break apart.

Lucille Everett

Working on My To do list: Part 1

2011-04-13T21:38:00.001-06:00

The following words came to me in June/2010. I finally decided to stop procrastinating and post these words that were inspired while listening to an instrumental piece of music from the “Fireproof” soundtrack. Here it is:

Come Holy Spirit,

Rain down on me

With all your might,

With all your strength,

Pour forth into the most deepest depths of my wounds.

Purify me oh Lord,

Cleanse me from my sin.

Mother Mary carry my wounds

Gently to your Son.

“Pour forth, we beseech thee, O Lord,

Thy grace into our hearts,

That we, to whom the Incarnation of Christ, Thy Son,

Was made known by the message of an angel,

May by His passion and cross be brought to the glory of His resurrection,

Through the same Christ Our Lord.” (Taken from the Angelus prayer)

Fill me with your most precious blood

Let it flow,

Let your redemption grow.

Together, we will bring my wounds

To your most Holy Cross.

Let my suffering be united to yours

For my salvation and for the worlds.

Let my suffering not be Your loss.

Lucille Everett

There Is Someone Missing – The First Christmas After Miscarriage

2011-01-03T22:00:00.001-07:00

There was definitely something off this Christmas.

Neither Lucille or I had any idea how things would happen on the day of Christ’s Birth. On several occasions she mentioned that her heart was not really into it while mine was somewhere between numb and seemingly absent.

We managed to celebrate Christmas but things were pretty subdued. We did enjoy the kid’s reactions to their gifts and our own but indeed something, no _someone_, was missing in the midst of it all.

We know that Dominic is with the Lord and through the Communion of the Saints that he is with us too, but we missed being able to “touch” him while here in Lucille’s womb. We missed his presence deeply.

Dominic’s absence this Christmas was very much a parallel to God’s apparent absence of late. It is time for me, it seems, to hang on the Cross with Our Lord and share in His “My God, my God why have you forsaken me!?!” moment (Matthew 27:45).

Yet, somewhere in the midst of this numb heart is a hope that the Lord is indeed holding our little one close to His Heart, but at times it sure can be difficult to find that hope.

Our Lady of Sorrows pray for us.

John Everett

Blessed Peter Thomas

Catholic Saints of the Day

Grieving During the Christmas Season

2010-12-16T23:10:00.001-07:00

I honestly cannot describe the feelings I am having this Advent. I’ve had visions of just going away at Christmas and escaping all the hustle and bustle. I have never not looked forward to Christmas. I grew up in a happy Catholic family when Christmas was peaceful and always a blessing.

When John and I were married, I carried that same joy and openness of heart with John and our kids. John did not share these same happy experiences around the Christmas season so approaching Christmas with John has sometimes been marked with struggle because of John’s past. Now, I can certainly understand a lot better how Christmas can be a real burden for some people.

So, how do we open our hearts and prepare ourselves for Our Saviour in the manger? How do we open our hearts to feel joy and peace instead of numbness, sadness, and a feeling of wanting to escape the festivities?

Recently we watched a movie called Call me Mrs. Miracle. It was a really wholesome movie that centers around a father and son as well as a little boy from a different family whose mother had died. I won’t go too much into detail in case the opportunity arises to watch the movie but essentially the father (owner of a successful department store) ends up finally celebrating Christmas with his son after 20 years of escaping Christmas by flying to another location. The father was finally convinced his wife (who died 20 years previous) would want him to celebrate Christmas in her honour.

It is a big hurdle to say, “Hey, I can celebrate Christmas and not feel guilty for being joyful when we’ve suffered such a loss of someone we love dearly.” Perhaps the answer is found in the gift of Jesus born on Christmas day. We still need to do our best to prepare our heart this Advent by going to confession, adoration, Mass, daily prayer of the rosary (even if just a decade) . . . And then, we need to wait.

We need to wait patiently and prepare for the PROMISED SAVIOUR as did the descendants of Abraham right through to St. John the Baptist. Jesus will speak to us and he will answer our prayers, embrace our sorrows, and take them to God our Father as an offering of love for the world.

We homeschool our children and one thing that Jesus is teaching me along side my daughter in grade 1 is explained in our religion curriculum (Faith and Life Series) which includes “the three things necessary to attain happiness in Heaven: to know God, love God and serve God” …

From the curriculum (Teacher’s Manual page 42):

a. Know God : To pay attention and study hard in religion class, to read the scriptures, to listen well to the readings and homilies at Mass

b. Love God: To receive the Sacraments of Penance (Confession) and Holy Communion when old enough, to pray reverently at home, in the classroom, and at Mass, or during a visit to the Blessed Sacrament

c. Serve God: To be obedient to parents and teachers, to be helpful both at home and at school, to share toys, to be kind to others.”

Now, during this Advent season which finds my heart filled with more pain than with joy, one of my prayers is: “Jesus, help me to know, love and serve you better”.

That’s it.

Simple eh?

Lucille Everett

Help for those who have had an abortion or thinking about an abortion

2010-12-10T22:09:00.001-07:00

A few weeks ago, I fell upon this very interesting book at our local chapel. The book is called Return of the Children by: John Regan. This book is a very easy read. I honestly could not put it down. I read almost half of it in one time stretch. After three visits to the Blessed Sacrament, I had finished reading it. It truly did captivate me and it really brings to light the awesome gift of love and forgiveness of God.

Sunday is the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

Our Lady of Guadalupe, PRAY FOR US!

Reaching out: Do I sink or stay afloat?

2010-12-06T23:57:00.001-07:00

About 1 week prior to the miscarriage, a lady from church gave a picture of Jesus in the Divine Mercy to hang on our wall. Apparently someone was trying to give it to someone else but she was not Catholic so it was given to us. I was perplexed to say the least. Why is this stranger giving me this picture while I am praying in the Blessed Sacrament chapel? Now I think, perhaps it is a sign for me to learn more about the Divine Mercy. Perhaps it is a call to Trust in His Divine Mercy at a greater level.

The first few weeks after the miscarriage definitely tested my ability to reach out. John mentioned how painful it can be to reach out (previous blog post). When we are going through any trial that causes suffering, reaching out can mean the difference between sinking or staying above water.

Yet, I somehow worked up the courage to reach out to other people who had gone through a late miscarriage or knew of someone who had. It was painful and unnatural for me to reach out, but I had to admit to myself that I could not keep floating above water on my own. I needed other peoples hands to help keep me above water. I needed to talk about my struggles to others who truly cared and understood my pain. I can be very independent so having to almost admit my defeat, my powerlessness over the miscarriage and its effects took one of the biggest leaps of faith I have ever had to take.

“Many parents have feelings of losing control when they express the normal feelings and emotions of grief: they may feel like they are “going crazy” because of the thoughts that plague them about their baby” (Maternal Child Nursing Care, 1998, p. 555).

Almost 2 weeks after the miscarriage, I was in the midst of a very long anxiety attack. I felt like I was below water sinking like I have never sunk before. All John could do was hold me, listen to me, and tell me to look at the picture we have by our bed of Peter reaching out to Jesus walking on the water after he realized that he himself was walking on the water (Matthew 14, 22-33). The more I thought about the picture, the more I realized that just thinking about the picture was not helping. Little did I realize that somehow I needed to make an act of the will. But how?

As I kept breathing in and out, my anxiety did not improve. In my helplessness, I finally told John that I needed extra help and asked John to call our local Health Care Access number. The nurse on the line talked to me and finally directed me to someone who was trained to talk me out of my anxiety attack. Later, the anxiety subsided . . . but slowly. I needed to trust. I needed to trust in myself and in Jesus. I needed to keep affirming myself with these different statements: “I’ll be ok, I am going to make it through, this is normal”.

Reaching out to others is one thing but reaching out to my husband and my children was the most important thing for me to do. Our children can only do so much since they are so young but simply telling them that I was sad and asking them to pray for me was a form of reaching out.

Reaching out to my husband was not as difficult as it normally might have been perhaps if the miscarriage would have happened earlier in our marriage. Through our eight years of marriage, we have grown to predict quite well our different patterns of behaviour, turning inward for example, if there was a problem. Because of the growth in our marriage, I was able to make a conscious decision that I was going to show my vulnerability and keep my heart open to John. I would do my best to be as open as possible in the sorrow, struggles, and pain resulting from the miscarriage.

John’s strong presence and strength were a big reason why I stayed afloat for the last month or so. He was particularly present during the first few weeks after we lost Dominic. I tried my best to work up the courage to talk very openly about my thoughts, and to allow myself to cry whenever I needed to cry. For me, these acts were all important in the the beginning of the healing process since my greatest temptation was to crawl into a cocoon and feel sorry for myself.

Lucille Everett

Breaking Out Of Grief’s Grips

2010-12-05T18:48:00.001-07:00

Really, there is nothing more that can be done other than reaching out . . . as painful as that can be.

Yes, even during those times when the depression is so intense, there is nothing more in my vision than dark clouds, emptiness of heart, and absolutely no energy. When this happens, even smiling, playing around with the kids, or trying to spend time opening up to Lucille are key to breaking the hold the depression has.

There are only two ways that things can go when we experience something so traumatic as the loss of a child.

Growing Together

The first, and hopefully the path chosen, is to work as hard as possible to be supportive of each other. We, Lucille and I, did that by making sure that despite our own pain and suffering that we remained present to one another.

In the first weeks after the loss of Dominic my responsibility was to support Lucille as best as I could. That meant that to some extent my own grieving was put on hold. But, it was absolutely imperative for my grieving to be held back as Lucille really needed me.

During the initial weeks there were opportunities for us to cry together though I still held onto much of my grief to make sure that I was attentive to Lucille’s needs.

As things progressed we found that our relationship was growing stronger in a way that we had never expected. We kept working at supporting each other, being present to each other, and watching out for each other and still do to this day.

Despite the circumstances, our relationship has indeed grown closer together.

Breaking Apart

The other way things can go is for our relationship to fracture. There were times when I totally withdrew from Lucille, held back, did not allow her in, and walled up my heart from everything and everyone.

If I continued down that road there could have been a very distinct possibility that our relationship would have broken up and I would have been the primary reason for it.

In fact there were times when I was so buried in my grief that my fight or flight reflex was on the verge of flight mode. I _wanted_ to run away.

Prayer provided no consolation with my heart feeling like a hardened rock in my chest. Being around anyone was painful.

The Test

Once we buried Dominic I found that I could let go but it still took a while for me to open up to Lucille. Listening to music (previous blog post) really helped with the opening up process as has spending time adoring Jesus exposed at a local Archdiocesan adoration chapel . . . though my heart still feels like a lump of concrete.

Together we faced an amazing test of our relationship, our love for each other, our communication skills, and most especially our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Lucille and I made a tangible decision to be present to each other and to support each other. We also had the force of our wills following through on that decision plus we had the momentum of the Sacramental Grace of Marriage behind us too.

On top of that, Dominic has been very present to us in so many different ways since the beginning of the pregnancy. His prayer is indeed powerful and the graces his prayer brings about are only now starting to be revealed.

So, once we are further down the road of healing we will be able to look back prayerfully and see the many graces and blessings that we have shared in.

Hopefully we have indeed passed “The Test” and this portion of our lives written in the Lamb’s Book of Life (Rev. 20:12) will stand up to scrutiny.

Our Lady of Sorrows pray for us.

Saint Dominic pray for us.

John Everett

Saint John the Wonder Worker

Catholic Saints of the Day

Our Little Miniature White Rose, Rose up to Heaven

2010-12-01T23:31:00.001-07:00

It has been a very long time since I have posted. I had been working on an article for the website on suffering. Ironically, the article included a story about a mom we met who lost her teenage child over a year ago. Now, I am writing this post to relate a similar story but this time, I am the mother who has lost a child, our beautiful 17 1/2 week old who died within the womb. This is our story:

Not long before, October 26, 2010 our miniature white rose plant in the kitchen bloomed one single beautiful miniature white rose, the tallest stem on the plant. On October 26, 2010 our lives changed.

Early in the wee hours of the morning, we suddenly miscarried our little 17 week old baby. Before the paramedics came, I kept thinking, “No!… No!…. Lord, You can’t take my baby! I can’t believe this is happening. My water is not suppose to break now!”

The positive result on an old amniotic fluid stick from our second pregnancy confirmed that I was truly in labour. I did not want to let go of the baby but my worst fears were about to come true as I stood up to lie on the stretcher.

I did not want to get off the bed. I wanted to stay there. Once I stood up, our little baby came out. I yelled to John who was in the next room, “The baby came out!”. I will never forget the numbness at looking at our child still attached to me lying on the stretcher with all the fingers and toes the size of a Barbie’s fingers and toes.

Earlier that morning, I remember tapping on John’s head, saying, “Something is wrong, something is coming out. John immediately knew he needed to get some Holy water to baptize our baby just in case. And this is what he did as soon as he got back in the room.

From then on, it felt as if everything was in slow motion. We arranged for someone to come look after the kids. The ambulance brought John and I to the hospital, and the emergency room was actually unusually quiet. They hooked me up on IV’s. The emergency doctor finally came to examine me.

Eventually, he asked John if he wanted to cut the umbilical cord, so he did. I had a closer look at our baby but I was still so in shock, it was difficult to savour the moment as I looked at him in the kidney basin the doctor had put him in.

I now regret not picking up that kidney basin and just holding him. Since the placenta had not come out yet, I was still haemorrhaging … a lot. My obstetrician was actually on call that morning performing a C-section up in the OR. That was a miracle in itself since my doctor is on hospital rounds only once a week.

One nurse was kind enough to ask if we would like a chaplain to come in. We agreed and they were a great support with their prayers, presence, and resource information. The chaplain also got our parish priest to come and give communion. We were very thankful for that.

Finally, my obstetrician arrived about 5 or 6 hours after our arrival at the hospital. Prior to that, the nurse prepared me for a possible blood transfusion since my blood pressure became quite low. I was so relieved to see my doctor. She knew exactly what to do to help me expel the placenta.

Later in the day, the ultrasound showed no tissue in the uterus so we were able to go home without having to go to OR for a D&C and no need for a blood transfusion. Praise be to God. Our prayers were answered in that regard. My only real regret though was that I wished I would have asked to hold our baby before we left the hospital. With everything that happened, and being so tired I didn’t even think of it.

When we turned the corner to leave the hospital, my heavy empty heart sank. The reality that we were leaving our baby behind in the hospital really set in. I couldn’t stop sobbing. The reality of our baby being out of my body so early set in even more.

Once we finally got home, the reality of having to tell the kids what happened pierced my heart. As my husband and I drove in the driveway, I got out of the truck, numb, shocked, and pale. I just stood there looking at my kids looking at me through the front door window and our middle child playing in the snow outside.

I slowly walked up to the garage door weeping before entering. As I got the courage to open the door, there sat John’s Dad on the couch looking at me intently with loving eyes. After spending a little time with the kids, I needed to find a name for the baby. I started to look up the names of the Saints that day on the computer. John and I later decided on Dominic or Dominique since we were not totally sure of the gender of the baby at that point.

After over 2 weeks of waiting (Dominic(que) needed to be sent to pathology for examination), once all the arrangements were finalized, we finally had a little private Mass offered in the basement of our house, then off we went to the cemetery where the Knights of Columbus had a special location to bury miscarried babies. We were so thankful for that. We feel at peace to know that we have a special place for our baby and a place to go if we ever feel the need to be with Dominic(que) at the cemetery.

When all is said and done, after looking at our baby while at the hospital John and I could tell that we had a boy even though pathology said the gender was undetermined. The Knights of Columbus will engrave the name of our baby, “Dominic Jacob Everett”.

Dominic, I know you rest in peace in perfect happiness forever in heaven till we meet again, my precious child.

My husband encouraged me to write and now I want to write more reflections on the spiritual, psychological, and physical aspects of miscarriage.

A few days ago, I cut down our miniature white rose from the plant as it was starting to dry up after over a month of being in bloom. I truly believe this was a gift for us from heaven as we grieved the loss of our beloved baby Dominic.

Lucille Everett

In the Midst of Grieving, Music

2010-11-27T17:24:00.001-07:00

A couple of months ago, Lucille and I caught the first hour or so of the movie Titanic on TV. Lucille has seen it a few times while I have not seen it yet.

There is something about Celine Dion’s song My Heart Will Go On which is associated with Titanic that has totally hooked into my heart while grieving the loss of Dominic.

Every time, and I mean _every time_ I hear the song I break into tears.

There are some timeless truths about love spoken in the song.

Despite the shortness of Dominic’s life within the womb my heart and his are bound as a father’s and a son’s hearts should be.

The love that I have for my son Dominic is no different than the love that I have for our children here with us in this life.

It is near the end of the song (~3:40 Min) where the reality of our love breaks through the pain and suffering of losing him:

You’re here, there’s nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stay forever this way
You are safe in my heart
And my heart will go on and on

We will _stay forever this way_ as father and son. I trust that Dominic stands before the Throne of God appealing to Him on our behalf.

And, indeed he is safe here in my heart as is Lucille and our children.

Our Lady of Sorrows pray for us.

John Everett

Saint Josaphat - Hermit

Catholic Saints of the Day

When We Miscarriage, A Husband And Father Grieves Too

2010-11-26T22:41:00.001-07:00

The old saying goes, “Hindsight is 20/20”. Though introspection and looking back can only go so far in the process of grieving and healing.

It is quite obvious that I as a husband and father will not grieve in the same way as Lucille does over the loss of Dominic.

However, _I do grieve the loss_ of our child. Though, I could not spend much time in any state of grieving during the first two to three weeks after losing Dominic as I needed to be Lucille’s anchor in the midst of the trauma and pain of loss.

Kimberly Hahn in her book Life-Giving Love dedicates a whole chapter to Miscarriage and Stillbirth (Chapter 10). Lucille handed the book to me and suggested that I read it not long after we buried Dominic as that is when I started to let go and allow the grief to consume me.

Kimberly talks about some of the emotions that we can expect as we grieve (pg. 254):

Shock or disbelief
Feeling overwhelmed or numb
Deep sadness
Guilt toward ourselves
Blame toward God or others
Anger
Depression to the point where it is difficult to function
Relief

As much as I tried to be Lucille’s pillar of strength there were days where I was almost completely catatonic. The empty hollow feeling inside was so intense as to consume every ounce of energy just remaining somewhat present to Lucille and the kids all the while just lying there.

It has been a very long time since I have experienced a depression of that intensity. The past depressions were due to the intense trauma of the abuse I went through. This depression is entirely due to my feeling utterly helpless in the face of Lucille’s pain, our children’s pain, and my own pain.

The numbness has been just as intense. As much as I clamoured to embrace the Cross, to hold onto the Lord’s moment of utter loss (Matt 27:46) while hanging on the Cross, there was no consolation to be found in the midst of my grief. Though an image of the Pieta (Bing Image Search), that is Our Lady holding her dead Son after being taken down from the Cross, has been a source of comfort as Lucille and I can surely relate to her pain and loss.

It would be so easy to allow the anger to consume me to and walk away from my faith and deny Him Who Loves me. There have been times where putting a bridle on the anger has been extremely difficult. I am fortunate in that I can head over to our shop and allow some of it to be vented there without worrying about scaring Lucille or the kids.

There have been times though where I did cross the line with my anger. Fortunately, we can talk about what happened and I can and do apologise to Lucille and/or the kids when it did.

Even now, a month later, there are more down days than there are up days. Today was a very down day for all of us.

We parents are not wired to lose our children. Our parents, yes, we can deal with the grief. But there is something about losing one of our children that just rips our heart to shreds.

Our Lady of Sorrows pray for us.

John Everett

Blessed Hugh Taylor - Martyr

Catholic Saints of the Day

Anatomy of a Miscarriage at 17 Weeks

2010-11-25T23:53:00.001-07:00

Lucille and I lost our little one about 17 weeks into our fourth pregnancy. It has been a fairly rough ride since it happened late last month though we are starting to gain some level ground . . . at least to some degree.

Our little Dominic was definitely an Everett through and through!

He was about four to five inches crown to rump.
He had that unmistakable button nose that all of our children share.
His arms and legs had fully formed hands and feet.
His eyes were still sealed and his ear flaps were as well.
He had a bump . . . though this is not conclusive as far as his gender was concerned Lucille and I had a heart felt need to accept him as a male.
He was grey, very grey, when he came out.
- He had apparently died sometime between one and two weeks prior to Lucille’s labour for his birth.
The cord was very thin (this turned out to be the cause).

Very early that morning we were very fortunate to have a great pair of EMTs, an ER doctor and nurses, and later that day our own OB-GYN in the hospital.

There is no doubt that we have lost our child. The pain that we have and are experiencing now does not lie.

Our Lady of Sorrows Pray for us.

John Everett

Feast of Saint Catherine of Alexandria

Catholic Saints of the Day

A New Look

2010-11-25T22:57:00.001-07:00

We have updated the blog template to allow us a little more flexibility in the long run to work with Blogger’s setup.

John Everett

A Gift of Healing

2010-01-05T20:31:00.001-07:00

During this Christmas season, I would like to share something about gifts. We receive many gifts at Christmas not necessarily material ones. For the children, the joy of opening their presents is so exhilarating, they cannot wait to open them. They are so excited for many days before the actual Christmas and behave like these little firecrackers just waiting to explode. They do not know what to do with all their emotions. We as adults have presents to open too but the magnitude of excitement within really cannot measure up to that of a child.

We, as adults may sometimes receive a different gift, such as an unexpected gift of healing. For example, these last two Christmases John and I have been blessed with wonderful gifts of healing.

What happens when we experience an unexpected healing out of the blue? We embrace it, right? We give gratitude to Jesus, right? Ok, then what? What happens next? Do we start feeling afraid? Maybe. But what are we afraid of? We are afraid of losing what Jesus has done in our hearts in the way of healing.

When I was in front of the Blessed Sacrament the other day, I heard in my heart that the gift of healing can be compared to opening a present for the first time. We open it, we feel joy, and everything is so new. The present is then kept in a safe place to treasure and admire. Over time, the present may even break and then repaired but it is still treasured and admired. We may become over cautious with it because we are afraid to break it again.

Yes, the gift of healing may "break" because we are not sure what to do with it. It is so new. Thus, it takes time for us to figure out exactly what happened and how to live and work with it.This is ok. This is all a part of the growing process.

The gift of healing is not a plant already in bloom. It is a seed which has taken root and has already begun to sprout it's way out of the dirt to one day form its glorious bloom. As long as we keep using the water of prayer and facing the Son,, we need not be afraid of losing the gift of healing that Jesus has given.

Merry Christmas!

Even More Glorious!

2009-12-02T10:34:00.001-07:00

Many years ago prior to my conversion there were many times in many different places where I would hear

"Why would I ever want to be married to the _same_ woman for the rest of my life. How boring is that?"

Now, there is a line of truth in that saying, but the implication is that she would remain static throughout the marriage . . . that is never changing.

What person remains static throughout their life? Perhaps one that knows nothing more than fear or someone that has never tasted true freedom?

Both Lucille and I have passed through some significant moments of healing and growth lately.

So much so, that when I look at her I do not see the same woman that I saw even a month ago.

One of the more beautiful gems of Grace that comes to us in sacramental marriage is the ability to pour our heart into prayer for our spouse. No matter the circumstances, our Lord truly understands what it means to break down and pray at the deepest levels for another.

And because of that, He answers those prayers that rise from deep within our heart and spirit for our spouse. He never answers those prayers in ways we expect Him too either.

So, today, as I take a moment to eat my breakfast and take a sip of tea in between work tasks, I gaze upon the most beautiful woman I have ever encountered with my minds eye coloured by the glasses of my heart with a truly deep seated Joy. :)

I am truly blessed to have Lucille as my wife.

John Everett

Feast of Our Lady, Cause of Our Joy

Fireproof-A movie about the Best and the Worst of Marriage

2009-10-20T23:25:00.001-06:00

One morning, my husband and I were getting ready to go about our daily routine. I decided to have a shower before the kids woke up. Unbeknownst to me, John was having a shower in the other bathroom at the same time. Now our house has a limited capacity for hot water, so you can guess the rest. Both of us got a dose of cold water that morning. What a way to start a morning! But, fortunately we got a good chuckle out of it.

This is simply a small example of what the lack of communication can do in a marriage. If one goes one way and the other goes the other without communicating with each other, we get hit with a cold shower almost every time no matter what form that takes in daily life.

The movie "Fireproof" portrays a marriage in desperate need of repair with the divorce papers in the works where the lack of communication is but one of the troubles taking the marriage to ruins. But amid the destructive fire within the marriage a flicker of hope remains. One partner decides to go against his will and begin the process to try to re-ignite their love again. It started with advice from his father to do one unexpected act of kindness every day over 40 days for his wife. The story builds on that principle from there with all of its struggles, pain, and healing.

The sacrament of marriage cannot take place unless the couple goes through the marriage consent (Catechism of the catholic church, 1625-1632). One form of the dialogue that happens is as follows:

"(Name) and (name), have you come here freely and without reservation to give yourselves to each other in marriage?"

"Will you honor each other as man and wife for the rest of your lives?"

"Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?"

Priest (or deacon): Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.

Groom: I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Bride: I, (name), take you, (name), for my lawful husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

Groom (placing the wedding ring on his wife's ring finger): (Name), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Bride (placing the wedding ring on her husband's ring finger): (Name), take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. http://www.catholicweddinghelp.com/topics/catholic-wedding-vows.htm

When one gets married, the love feels strong. That is why we get married right? We almost wear rose colored glasses in what is called the "romantic phase" (the first stage of marriage). I remember one of the best pieces of advice a newly ordained priest gave us when we were newly married that was, "Never forget the feelings you have now and keep them in your heart." At the time the comment was a little foreign of course, because how could this feeling disappear? I took the advice and remembered his statement. Now, after almost 7 years of marriage, I have never understood more the importance of these wise words.

Many know the saying that love is a choice and not always a feeling. When good times are replaced by tougher times, our love for each other is tested. Love is like a child. The child will test you and test you until you are black and blue in the face. The child wants to know how serious you are, as if saying, do you truly mean what you are saying? Love says, are you truly committed to the love you professed many years ago? The answer should consistently say, YES! I AM! I pledge my love for you for better OR for worse, till death do us part.

I recently listened to a CD recording of speakers Dr. Michael and Catherine Pakaluk. They spoke of an amazing testimony about how they came to where they were now with Catherine being Michael's 2^nd wife. His first wife died of cancer at the tender age of 41 leaving him with 6 children. Dr. Michael Pakaluk mentioned how he was standing next to his wife's grave at the end of the funeral, saying, "It is finished".

It was very touching to hear, not only because it paralleled what Jesus said before he died on the cross fulfilling His promise, but because his marriage WAS finished. His vocation of marriage to Ruth, his first wife had been fulfilled and it was good. The promise fulfilled is the epitome of what love truly is.

I believe that the vows we take within marriage should be kept in a special place so we can meditate on them especially when times are bad. When one gets married we have a pretty clear image of what the "better" part of our vows were. But, it's the "worse" part where things get a little grey. We see the "better" because our marriage commitment when first married is so new.

Let's face it, the longer we are married the "more intense" the temptations can be. We can choose to let the temptations go or succumb to them and sin. If we choose to act on the temptation, we will suffer the consequences. Sin can become a cancer unless we cooperate with grace to stop it from growing by saying, "NO" to sin.

When temptations come, the following are four ways we can choose to deal with them:

Meditate on the wedding vows, especially the "for worse" part.
Meditate on the scripture passage, "What God has brought together, let no man put asunder" (Mark 10:2-16).
Meditate while looking at a physical picture or a mental picture of our family as opposed to dwelling on our selfish needs. Our family is a gift to treasure: My husband who is not perfect, our kids and the joy, innocence, and energy that they exude are truly gifts.
- Do we really want to destroy what God has given or do we want to build our marriage and make it better and brighter no matter what the cost? We need to remind ourselves that what we have in front of us is beautiful and believe it.
Last, but not least, we need to put out the flames of conflict with forgiveness and frequently receiving the sacrament of reconciliation. Forgiveness, acts of kindness (in the movie, "Fireproof", they called the acts of kindness the 40 Day Love Dare), and a serious commitment to change will be the water the marriage needs to put out the flaming fires before they become out of control to the point of destroying the marriage.

Take time to watch the movie "Fireproof" and let the Holy Spirit do the rest. Whether your marriage is heading for divorce or not, you will reap benefits. Listen to the theme song, "Waiting". Let the song pour into your being and let it speak to your heart. This song brought goose bumps to my skin for the longest time while hearing it. This song is truly a fruit of the Holy Spirit.

* For more information re: the four stages of marriage visit www.HelpOurMarriage.com

Glimpses of Glory in Her

2009-10-06T21:23:00.001-06:00

When the heart is tender and open, or even when it is not so open, there are times where the Holy Spirit will open the eyes of our heart to see the whole beauty of our wife.

In that moment she will be almost radiant.

When we experience this Glimpse of Glory for the first and subsequent times we are beginning to discover the inner beauty that drew us to fall in love with our wife in the first place.

It is important to note that her inner beauty is founded both in Jesus Christ and the blessing of the Holy Sacrament of Marriage.

With that in mind and heart we can work even harder to pray for our heart to open up and discover even more in our wife.

Our Lady Queen of Chastity
Blessed Marie Rose Durocher, pray for us.
St. Joseph, pray for us.

John Everett

Feast of Blessed Marie Rose Durocher

The Husband's Eyes of Love and Purity

2009-09-10T20:05:00.001-06:00

They are the Eyes that won over the heart of Mary Magdalene.

What was it that Mary saw in the Lord's eyes when He first looked at her?

In our heart of hearts, the answer to that question is the Man that looked at her in purity and spoke to her as a person of dignity. She was not an object to be used by Him.

In the Purgative journey of the eyes, also mentioned yesterday in the post on A Husband's Contemplative Chastity of the Eyes, we as husbands, as well as prospective husbands, need to discover how it was the Lord looked upon every woman.

When we stop to think, pray, and contemplate how the look of the Lord was towards women we can discover in ourselves the source of that look: The Lord Jesus Christ resident within us through the power of the Holy Spirit (1 Cor. 6:19).

When we discover that Source within, we can tap into Him and His gift of grace to let go of anything that we train our eyes on that is not of God. We can even begin to discover the motivation for looking at something or someone too.

Whether married or not, we can then begin to discover our sisters in the Lord in a chaste way . . . a way critical to maintaining fidelity in our marriage or fidelity to our Lord in the single life.

St. Joseph, true man of chastity and purity, pray for us.
St. Augustine, chaste lover of the Lord, pray for us.

John Everett

Feast of Blessed Joseph of Saint Hyacinth

A Husband's Contemplative Chastity of the Eyes

2009-09-08T21:31:00.001-06:00

The Master tells us that early in our Purgative State that we must purge those things that we invite into our beings via our eyes that are not conducive to contemplating Him.

Our eyes must be fixed upon the Cross and on Him that won for us the reward of Eternal Life.

The eyes are the windows to the soul so goes the clich�. In our case, as Catholic Husbands, there is a very deep and humbling truth to this old clich�.

The eyes are truly the windows into the heart, mind, and spirit of our wife.

The same is true for her looking into our eyes. In our eyes, she can see into the depths of our being . . . if we let her.

The truth . . . or not . . . lies in what we do with our eyes when we are in the presence of our wife and family but also not in their presence.

If we truly believe that our marriage is Sacramental, that is a visible sign of an invisible grace given (New Advent definition), then we need to stop, think, and meditate on who our wife is for us.

What are those invisible graces (CCC 1641 and 1642 specifically) given to us men through our wife? And, what are the invisible graces she receives through us?

Well, if our eyes, and thus our hearts are concentrating on other things, places, and/or women we may never really get to know what those graces are.

If we take the time to stop and contemplate the gift of grace that flows both through the Sacrament of Marriage and thus our wife, then perhaps we can discover how it is that Jesus Christ is present in her and in our marriage.

As we begin to let go of those things and people that distract our eyes and embrace the yearning the Holy Spirit places on our heart to contemplate the woman we have married, we begin to discover things about her that we would otherwise have missed.

Her physical beauty and her attributes.
The beauty of her heart and He Who rests therein.
Her graceful spirit and all of its radiant beauty.

The labour of love was never meant to be easy. Walking and working in His Love, and allowing that Love to become a part of who we are and what we do in our marriage is an ongoing job that we must never stop doing as husbands and fathers.

John Everett

Feast of Our Lady of Charity of el Cobre

Feasts of September 8

Men, Given This A Listen

2009-09-04T14:14:00.001-06:00

I reviewed the movie Fireproof (previous blog post) a while back.

It is a really good movie for husband and wife to watch together in a state of prayerful awareness.

One of the pieces of music associated with the movie is a song by John Waller called While I'm Waiting. The song is pretty awesome and when tied to our struggles and suffering has a deep meaning.

John has the Fireproof mix of the song on his Web site:

John Waller: While I'm Waiting (Fireproof Remix)

Note that the song will kick in as soon as you hit the site.

Take a deep breath and listen with your heart, mind, and spirit.

Let the Lord speak to you through the words of the song and the characters in the movie.

He certainly has to me. Some of the words that He has spoken:

Humility

Kneel before her (Lucille) and express my awe of her and my love for her.

Forgiveness

Beg her forgiveness for my shortcomings and failings.

Fidelity

Be True to her in our Marriage Covenant.

Chastity

Be True to her in my body, mind, eyes, and heart.

John Everett

Feast of Pope Saint Boniface I

The Marriage Journey: Purgative, Illuminative, and Unitive

2009-09-03T10:35:00.001-06:00

From the Catholic Online article citing St. Thomas Aquinas:

The first duty which is incumbent on man is to give up sin and resist concupiscence, which are opposed tocharity(sic) ; this belongs to beginners, in whose hearts charity is to be nursed and cherished lest it be corrupted. The second duty ofman(sic) is to apply his energies chiefly to advance in virtue ; this belongs to those who are making progress and who are principally concerned that charity may be increased and strengthened in them. The third endeavor and pursuit of man should be to rest in God and enjoy Him; and this belongs to the perfect who desire to be dissolved and to be with Christ.

The Purgative, Illuminative, and Unitive ways have traditionally applied to our spiritual life. That is, our journey in relationship with God.

Now, let us have a look at our own marriage and how that journey can be seen through the same set of lenses.

Purgative

The first state is that of the beginner. By purgative, I am called to purge all that is within me that holds me back from giving myself completely and totally to Lucille.

I am called to learn how to lay my life down completely for Lucille and when the time came our children. Just as Jesus did and does for His Church.

That means purging my attachment to things, to places I visit in person and virtually that take me away from Lucille, and to any outside spiritual influence that is not of God.

This is a tough one. It is really difficult to let go of the toys, of my wants and desires, and in some cases my dreams that I am discovering may never be fulfilled.

Where my treasure is, so is my heart (Matt. 6:21). I want my treasure to be my wife and my family founded in Jesus Christ and His Sacrament of Marriage.

Illuminative

After a number of years into our relationship, I have discovered in myself a good view of my weaknesses and propensity to commit sin that impacts my marriage.

But, in the process of discovering and purging the things that were holding me back in my relationship with Lucille, I have begun to discover things in her I could not see before because of those things that held me back!

Forgiveness plays a huge part in the discovery, or Illumination of our marriage's gifts and glories. As we develop a communication method that incorporates the ability to express ourselves without fearing a destructive criticism death spiral, forgiveness enables us to look past it all and begin to discover those gifts and glories.

The Illumination of Lucille's heart, and my ability to "see" into it is also a beautiful benefit of letting go. The more that I let go, the more beautiful she becomes. The more that I let go, the more I can embrace Lucille in all aspects of our marriage and being.

The other side of that coin, and one that is critical for the deepening of our marital relationship, is the opening of my heart to Lucille.

The Illuminative process is a two way street of the heart. One outbound to Lucile's heart and one road inbound for her to take up residence in mine.

Unitive

This state is a bit tougher to address at this point for me.

Why?

Because our marriage is only 7 years young.

We have been blessed though to catch glimpses here and there into the truly amazing gift that God gives us in our Marital Unitive state.

One that we both have experienced is the union of our two hearts founded in His Blood. There is very neat Joy that begins to find residence in both of us as we become more and more open of heart to each other.

That Joy is somehow founded in the realization that Lucille loves and accepts me as I am and that if things go sideways on us we have an established mechanism to work on forgiveness and penance.

Some further reading:

John Everett

Feast of Pope Saint Gregory the Great

TV Series Review: Defying Gravity

2009-08-26T14:26:00.001-06:00

From St. Paul:

"for we are not contending against flesh and blood, but against the principalities, against the powers, against the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places." (Eph 6:11-12)

There is nothing sometimes more surprising than being blindsided by something or someone we have taken an interest in.

In this case, I have caught the last few episodes of a new TV series called Defying Gravity.

The show is well done with there being key emotional hooks to grab our attention such as the adventure dynamic, technology displayed, special effects, and sexual interest/tensions between the characters on the space ship and on the ground supporting them.

So, not having caught the first couple of episodes, there are a few elements missing in my understanding of the show. Keep this in mind when it comes to my opinion on it.

So, what do I mean about being blindsided?

Given what I have seen so far, my expectations as far as the characters and their development were fairly on the level. There were some pretty straight forward interactions between the characters on the space ship that would seem to be pretty typical for a group of folks living in what is essentially a small container for a long period of time.

Last night, in the episode named Rubicon which means the point of no return, the characters were called to let go of something from their past. They had to pick something they brought with them and put it in a "time capsule" container that was to be left in space at the Rubicon point to be picked up on the way back.

As we were shown the various things the characters were looking to choose, we were given flash backs to the point in time where the objects acquired their value . in most cases.

In those flash backs and some of the current time interactions between the characters we discovered:

Casual sex is seemingly okay (not unusual for any media).

NSA - No Strings Attached is one theme between Maddux and Nadia Schilling.
No consequences to the heart or spirit.
Shifting between different partners has no consequence or impact on future relationships or self.

Religious objects are "crap" not needed for faith.

Discussion between Morales and Wassenfelder when she was deliberating between a Miraculous Medal necklace or a dog collar from a pet of hers for the time capsule. Her expression after that conversation made it pretty clear that she had to struggle between them.

Tarot Cards hold the "truth".

Zoe's mom "reads" people using the cards. Her "reads" are seemingly accurate.

A vasectomy is okay.

A flash back for Maddux Donner to him discussing his vasectomy with a doctor . which was apparently not there.

Abortion is okay.

Zoe Barns got pregnant sometime during the early phase of the training and weeding session all of the candidates were going through. I think I caught that one of the other characters, Maddux Donner, was the father.
Zoe has to decide between continuing the pregnancy and losing the chance to get into space or having an abortion which is quite "illegal" according to the abortion doctor she talks to.
Needless to say the decision was made by her to lose the child and not her chance at space.

It's only a TV show and the characters are only human right?

If we stop, and take seriously what St. Paul is telling us at the beginning of this post then the answer is clearly a resounding NO.

Recognizing that there are spiritual influences, sometimes very subtle until they really show themselves as they did in this particular episode of Defying Gravity, takes a lot of prayer and discernment.

We are what we eat.

If we take to the Sacraments of Eucharist and Confession on a regular basis, then this statement certainly holds true.

If we feed ourselves on media and other content that is very subtle about its message and who is delivering that message, then where does that lead us to? What, or whom, do we become, and what do we believe if we continue to watch? How many justifications and excuses will it take to continue down that path?

As a husband and father, it is ultimately up to me to be the spiritual bastion upon which this type of content must bound off of. Thus, I need to know if the content of the show is leading me, and thus my family, closer to Jesus or if it is taking us away from Him.

I take that responsibility very seriously as I am a weak and sinful man. That means many confessions, receiving Our Lord in the Eucharist as often as I can, and begging for His Mercy and my family's forgiveness for my failings regularly.

Some external links:

Defying Gravity (Wikipedia)
Opus Angelorum: St. Paul 6: Discernment

While specific to the need for a priest to discern, this article is an excellent read to discover the various resources needed to learn how to discern.

Previous Blog post: Discernment of Spirits Our Lady's Way.

We pray:

Our Lady Queen of Chastity, pray for us.
Our Lady Queen of Fidelity, pray for us.
St. Joseph, pray for us.
St. Augustine, pray for us.
+ In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

John Everett

Feast of Saint Teresa de Gesu, Jornet y Ibars