Cattula tag:typepad.com,2003:weblog-1582900 2011-12-16T14:22:16-05:00 TypePad Trying to Find the Sweet Spot tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e55055a342883301675ed9b05b970b 2011-12-16T14:22:16-05:00 2011-12-16T14:22:16-05:00 So, like most modern day parents, I have a tendency to obsess over my parenting. Am I attentive enough? Too attentive? Is it ok to have child care? Should I have someone come to the house or send him somewhere? If we really scraped by, could I stop working? Would that be fair to him - if it make us less stable? I had lunch with a friend the other day. And while I feel like I practice "attachement parenting lite" - she practices a more formal type of it. And being with her makes me question all my decisions anew. She works w/o daycare - maybe I should do that too. But I did do that - and it make me insane. And I am so much less stressed out now. I really think it comes down to knowing yourself and knowing your child and finding the solution that meets your sets of needs in the right way. I choose to partially wean and have part-time childcare. She feeds almost no solids at 11 months and has no paid childcare. In the end - though - what matters is the love - the attachment. And our bond is strong. As Steve said to me the other night - Ben never calls out in the night for Cecilia - he calls out for me. I am his mama. And I will always be. And for that I am truly, truly blessed. Cattula

So, like most modern day parents, I have a tendency to obsess over my parenting. 

Am I attentive enough?  Too attentive?  Is it ok to have child care?  Should I have someone come to the house or send him somewhere?  If we really scraped by, could I stop working?  Would that be fair to him - if it make us less stable?

I had lunch with a friend the other day.  And while I feel like I practice "attachement parenting lite" - she practices a more formal type of it.  And being with her makes me question all my decisions anew.  She works w/o daycare - maybe I should do that too.  But I did do that - and it make me insane.  And I am so much less stressed out now.

I really think it comes down to knowing yourself and knowing your child and finding the solution that meets your sets of needs in the right way.  I choose to partially wean and have part-time childcare.  She feeds almost no solids at 11 months and has no paid childcare.  In the end - though - what matters is the love - the attachment.  And our bond is strong.

As Steve said to me the other night - Ben never calls out in the night for Cecilia - he calls out for me.  I am his mama.  And I will always be.  And for that I am truly, truly blessed.

 Mom's Group Dropout (Or at least aspiring to...) tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e55055a3428833015392b600dd970b 2011-10-31T13:07:22-04:00 2011-10-31T13:07:22-04:00 It's happening again. I've logged onto facebook. And there they are. The pictures. A large group of moms and babies - on a playdate, at a muesum, or some other event. I know everyone there. And I wasn't invited. And on some level I am completly ok with that. But on another - well....It's all so high school. And that is exactly how it leaves me feeling - high school, alone, uninvited, questioning why I am not liked, scanning the contents of my mind for what I did or said and when.... The truth is the explanation is probably simple. I'm a work at home mom. And I hang out with a lot of stay at home moms. And they just don't get my schedule - no matter how many times I explain it. It's like there is this wall between us. On some level I am jealous of them - they get to be home and just be home - not home with an email to send, an attorney's ego to soothe, a paper to get out. And on some level they probably resent me - a two income family, a back-up plan built in. But then there are also the other lines that divide - carefully etched. To breastfeed or not. To co-sleep or cry it out. To make your own baby food or use the store bought variety. I consider myself to be practicing "attachment parenting light." I got an epidural - but not until the very end - so it never really kicked in - my "almost natural" birth. I co-sleep. I'm breastfeeding. Still. At 14 months, I'm not sure when I will stop. Then again - maybe it has nothing to do with the mommy wars. With working or not. With co-sleeping or cry it out. Maybe it is because I tend to exaggerate too much. Maybe it is because I've never managed to be a glass half full type. Whatever the reason - the fact is - I'm okay. I may not be the most popular mom or the most liked mom. But I am a mom. Which means that for now - at least - there is one person who thinks the world of me - the one who is napping upstairs right now. And I have my close friends. My confidants. I belong to some. But I don't belong to everyone. And that is okay. As moms, some day we will have to teach our children to accept their limits. And a lesson first lived is a lesson much more delicately taught. Cattula

It's happening again.  I've logged onto facebook.  And there they are.  The pictures.

A large group of moms and babies - on a playdate, at a muesum, or some other event.  I know everyone there.  And I wasn't invited.

And on some level I am completly ok with that.  But on another - well....It's all so high school.  And that is exactly how it leaves me feeling - high school, alone, uninvited, questioning why I am not liked, scanning the contents of my mind for what I did or said and when....

The truth is the explanation is probably simple.  I'm a work at home mom.  And I hang out with a lot of stay at home moms.  And they just don't get my schedule - no matter how many times I explain it.  It's like there is this wall between us.  On some level I am jealous of them - they get to be home and just be home - not home with an email to send, an attorney's ego to soothe, a paper to get out.  And on some level they probably resent me - a two income family, a back-up plan built in.

But then there are also the other lines that divide - carefully etched.  To breastfeed or not.  To co-sleep or cry it out.  To make your own baby food or use the store bought variety. 

I consider myself to be practicing "attachment parenting light."  I got an epidural - but not until the very end - so it never really kicked in - my "almost natural" birth.  I co-sleep.  I'm breastfeeding.  Still.  At 14 months, I'm not sure when I will stop.

Then again - maybe it has nothing to do with the mommy wars.  With working or not.  With co-sleeping or cry it out.  Maybe it is because I tend to exaggerate too much.  Maybe it is because I've never managed to be a glass half full type.

Whatever the reason - the fact is - I'm okay.  I may not be the most popular mom or the most liked mom.  But I am a mom.  Which means that for now - at least - there is one person who thinks the world of me - the one who is napping upstairs right now.  And I have my close friends.  My confidants.  I belong to some.  But I don't belong to everyone.  And that is okay.

As moms,  some day we will have to teach our children to accept their limits.  And a lesson first lived is a lesson much more delicately taught.

 He Fell Asleep without Nursing for the Second Time Ever Tonight... tag:typepad.com,2003:post-6a00e55055a34288330162fc07592d970d 2011-10-30T19:30:41-04:00 2011-10-30T19:30:41-04:00 I mean - technically - he has gone to sleep w/a bottle before bed before. But last week, instead of nursing and then playing w/my hair - he just played w/my hair and drifted off to sleep. I figured it was just a fluke and wouldn't happen again for a long time - but it happened again tonight. It's just odd - I remember when he was first born and he lived in the ergo. I used to worry he would never learn to crawl or walk because I wore him so much - but over time he was in it less and less and now he is toddling everywhere... And we nursed to sleep from infancy until about 11 months - we started nursing and then playing w/my hair afterwards. I used to think I would never be able to put him to sleep w/o nursing. Now I see how quickly these stages really do go by. I think in some ways it will help me be more patient if/when there is a seocnd.. I will still offer to let him nurse before bed and I'm sure he will continue to accept for some time to come. But I can see how it could someday - and it is beautiful/too fast/right on time - all at once... Cattula

I mean - technically - he has gone to sleep w/a bottle before bed before.  But last week, instead of nursing and then playing w/my hair - he just played w/my hair and drifted off to sleep.  I figured it was just a fluke and wouldn't happen again for a long time - but it happened again tonight.

It's just odd - I remember when he was first born and he lived in the ergo.  I used to worry he would never learn to crawl or walk because I wore him so much - but over time he was in it less and less and now he is toddling everywhere...

And we nursed to sleep from infancy until about 11 months - we started nursing and then playing w/my hair afterwards.  I used to think I would never be able to put him to sleep w/o nursing.  Now I see how quickly these stages really do go by.  I think in some ways it will help me be more patient if/when there is a seocnd..

 I will still offer to let him nurse before bed and I'm sure he will continue to accept for some time to come.  But I can see how it could someday - and it is beautiful/too fast/right on time - all at once...