caucasian invasion

To my darling, Maurita

2021-04-30T18:09:00.003-07:00

Happy birthday, my dear girl. Today is your first birthday and I have spent most of the day reflecting on this day only 1 year ago when you were born. I keep pestering your dad requesting updates from what labor was like at xyz time last year as it was all slightly blurry for me. I describe this year as the longest shortest year of my life. With no question you have been the best thing that has ever happened to me and I struggle to remember what life was like without you here. However, this year has tested me in ways I never have been before. It took you almost a full year to sleep through the night and I learned that sleep deprivation is not my strong suit. Your dad on the other hand was mostly unfazed however I was impacted in ways I have never experienced before memory loss and inability to regulate emotions I am sure it was coupled with the plethora of postpartum emotions.

Adjusting to my new role as a mom was not easy either. I struggled with my identity changing overnight and what that meant for me as an individual. Newborns are beautiful and tough demanding lots of milk especially at night, which was hard for me to provide because my tailbone was injured, likely broke during labor. As time went on I grew into my role and started to view life with how to maximize my time with you. For example, I could ride another lap while mountain biking with friends but I really just want to go home to be able to see you even for a few minutes before you go to sleep. Choosing my first nursing job between the Cardiac ICU (which was a dream) vs homecare nursing (which had a better schedule) home care won out solely because I could be home with you for more days.

Initially days home alone with you felt long and isolating. I struggled to figure out what you needed and how to differentiate your cries and attempts at communication but as time went on we got into a rhythm and we learned how to communicate with each other developing rhythms. I got to see you grow and develop seemingly overnight as I watched you slowly reach for overhanging elephants that were dangling above you to seeing you roll over for the first time. It was amazing! I have never been so proud as watching you learn and explore yourself and the world around you. I spent hours buying organic healthy vegetables, roasting and pureeing them so that I was able to provide you with healthy foods when you started to explore the food world outside of milk, although you still very much love and still love milk.

It brought me great pleasure to watch you love the outdoors, something that I have a great passion towards. Initially you explored the outdoors with me on long walks where you would look up at the trees until you fell asleep. When it was windy we would walk to the park and I would put a blanket out and lay you down under the trees and you would love to watch the leaves dance. People walking by would look over at you as you excitedly made little grunts and noises as the leaves blew. It was truly so beautiful. Although camping with a baby felt stressful worrying about what to pack and how to help you best sleep we took you camping as much as we could starting at 2 months of age. We took you to Cuyuna where we took turns mountain biking while one of us stayed with you, we went up north with Chris and Shanna, and into the Bounday Waters where we canoed in and camped out with your uncle, aunt, grandmpa, grandma and Chris and Shanna. You did so well and although I was constantly worried you were too cold I think you really found peace in being outdoors. Even when we are inside one of your favorite things to do is to stare out the screen door and look outside watching the cars and world go by.

Getting to know you has been such a joy. Your excitement is contagious and your smile is the most beautiful! You smile so big it draws your eyes into a squint and exposes your newly poked through two front teeth. You could literally get anything you wanted with that amazing smile, and I am sure you do (especially from your Grandma and Grandpa). I hate to focus on your outside because your inside is what matters but I have to spend a moment talking about your eyes, throughout this year they have changed frequently they started out blue and then somedays they looks like a stormy sea with a mixture of grey, hazel, and green. At the moment they look like a blend of your mom and dad's eyes with blue and hazel mixed in. They are just beautiful, sparkly and truly breathtaking.

I worried and hoped throughout my whole pregnancy that you would be healthy. I tried my best to eat well, exercise, take my vitamins, avoid non-organic food or bath products etc. I thought so frequently about your health and felt so blessed when you came out healthy. What I hadn't spent much time about is thinking about your looks I would frequently wonder what your face would look like but I just couldn't picture it. However, when I finally met you I was amazed at just how perfect and beautiful you are. I repeatedly ask myself how the heck could I create someone so perfect? Truly I look at you and gaze into those eyes and am still dumbfounded. Not only are you healthy but your are just such a beautiful baby.

I wake up in the morning so excited to see you again, as even in those 10-12 hours I miss you. I now really understand all the cliches parents say. "they grow up so fast" "I've never felt a love like this" etc. You really are a miracle in our lives and we love you so deeply. I feel so humbled and blessed to be able to watch you grow and explore the world in the role of your mother. I hope I am able to add joy and depth to your life and I truly hope we can have an open and deep relationship as you grow older. I love you forever and always my beautiful daughter.

Those are words I thought I would never be able to say as I didn't think I was going to meet a good partner. I dated and just never found a person that was a good match for me. As time went on I started to grieve the fact that I may never have children which is something I had truly hoped for and it was so sad to me. However, when I met your dad I was so excited and hopeful. He has turned out to be even better than I ever thought. His optimism and can do attitude is amazing but more importantly watching the two of you has been the best. He is an amazing dad and you both have a really special bond. It is a beautiful thing to witness.

I have so many thoughts and emotions on your first birthday. This year has been so humbling, challenging, and beautiful. I will forever have gratitude to the universe for bringing you into our lives. Happy first birthday, my amazing daughter.

That's a Good Story

2020-11-16T18:52:00.001-08:00

Everyday Maurita came home from school and threw her backpack and fell onto her well worn yellow couch for a few minutes while she waited for her best friend Ingrid to arrive. Ingrid and Maurita were inseperable and their favorite thing to do after school was ride their bikes to the creek where they would find all sorts of treasures. On this particular day they found turtles, fish, and plenty of ducks enjoying the sunshine, when all of a sudden out of the corner of Maurita's eye she saw a jagged metal object peaking out from underneath the sand. They both ran over to the object and started digging. They could not believe their eyes as they dug deeper and deeper they realized it was the hull of what appeared to be an ancient ship. They couldn't stop there and decided they would meet up after school every day until they uncovered the entire boat, hoping of course they may find an even better treasure. So everyday as soon as school ended they rode their bikes as fast as they could to the ship to dig a little more and after 10 whole days to their surprise they found a glowing chest. When they opened up the chest they found a golden lamp that was a little dull looking. Maurita found a towel in her backpack and began to shine the lamp when suddenly a voice started speaking. They looked to the left and to the right but no one was there, they looked behind them and still no one to be found. When suddenly their jaws dropped and they realized the voice was coming from the lamp. They opened the lid of the lamp and found a little mouse with a mustache staring back up at the two of them. The little mouse told them he was once a man and 100 years ago he was the captain of this very ship when a storm came out of nowhere and after hours of winds, torrential rain, and lightening he lost control of the boat. The captain thanked them for uncovering the lost vessel and with a swift twitch of his mustache the boat transformed into its former self and set sail just as it had 100 years earlier to reach its final destination of the Great Mississippi River

Grandma Morgan

2020-07-19T16:50:00.000-07:00

The world lost a beautiful soul today, I know everyone says that when someone passes away but this is true through and through. I have never met a kinder, more patient, accepting, open minded person and I am so thankful to have not only met her but called her grandma.

Going to grandma's house was always super exciting she always had klondike bars in the freezer, diet coke by the side door and lucky charms and kudos bars in the cupboard. If she wasn't home she was likely out to lunch with her friends and we would grab the key she had stowed in the drawer in the garage we'd let ourselves in and eat a snack while posting up on the couch waiting for her to walk in the door.

She had many grandkids and great grandchildren but still managed to make you feel so special when she interacted with you, her memory was impeccable and she would remember your animals names, school friends names and ask questions that were so pertinent even the most astute of listeners wouldn't have been able to remember.

Growing up we got to spend a whole day with Grandma once a week when Marge went to River Falls. I loved those days, we would drop Laine off at work and pick her up, go out to lunch, walk to the corner gas station where she would buy us sugar gum that Marge would never have allowed us to eat. She would give us the best back scratches and would join me on the ground doing gymnastics moves with me.

We would sit downstairs at the bar they had in the basement while I would mix fake drinks and we would smoke "nutritional cigarettes" of spaghetti noodles.

She would always play this complex game that I was a little to young to understand but would beg to play that included elephants, bears, etc.

I think I only saw her really upset once and that was when we broke something important to her, I don't remember what it was but she never yelled and just looked sad for a moment so not to make us upset.

We would have cousin sleepovers where we would all wear one of grandma's old silk nightgowns stay up late watching Pink Panther and all crash in blanket beds made in the living room.

As I was older grandma and grandpa always stayed up late so I would call or go over to visit anytime since they were up at least until midnight.

Grandma happily endured almost every band and choir concert I ever had and there were a lot! She even managed to enjoy them as she watched Ryan and I performed songs that only relatives would appreciate.

At Christmas she made sure everyone had a pile of presents, including individually wrapped kibbles treat packages for our cats addressed to them by name. No one would go without gifts including any random partner or friend that you wanted to bring along. All were truly welcome at her house. She grew up in an era where not everyone was accepted but she embodied a spirit of a wiser woman and was able to overlook differences and see people for who they are and accept them including all their flaws.

She was quick to laugh and didn't take herself to seriously. A perfect example was when I started working in group homes and learning more about complex diagnoses that many people with mental illness incurred. When I asked my grandma what diagnoses my uncle John had she thought for a while and stated "well Rachel he's just plain retarded." After a minute we realized how ridiculous that sounded and burst into laughter. Her intent was there the wording was not and it was something we continued to laugh about for years to come.

On May 10th 2020 which happened to be both her birthday and mother's day she got to meet Maurita for the first and only time, sadly through a window as it half rained and snowed. It was equally horrible and beautiful as she never got to hold her or see her without a barrier. It was also the last time I got to see my grandma outside of a computer screen. Due to Parkinson's she frequently was unable to speak but on that day even through a window I understood her words she said "she's beautiful" and asked how much Maurita weighed when she was born. She also mustered a lot of her effort to blow Maurita a kiss before we left.

The last time I saw my grandma was through a computer screen through Zoom on July 14th, with about 10 other people joining. The only communication she could display was a kiss she blew at the end. I am so thankful I attended that call and that Maurita although crabby as on Zach's lap for most of it. The nursing home staff had stated that they were working on details and state approval to be able to have us see her outside at a distance but unfortunately it didn't come soon enough. I am just devastated today at the loss our whole family incurs by losing our glue and matriach. I am also so sad that she was never able to really meet Maurita, which would have meant so much to both me and my dad.

RIP my most beautiful grandma. Your absence is felt painfully deep but my comfort comes in the hope that you are pain free and in a better place. You will continue to be with us through all of the beautiful memories we shared.

Tuscobia Ultra

2018-12-31T14:39:00.001-08:00

Facts: 80 miles, unsupported, fat bike on trail from Park Falls, WI to Rice Lake, WI

gear: bivy, 0 degree sleeping bag, sleeping pad, stove, fuel, water, food

Two years ago I joined my dad in shuttling 3 of his friends to the start of a race that I had never heard of, as we shuttled the three of them to the start I realized this was the first adventure that I really had no interest in. It seemed too hardcore for me, which was a bizarre feeling for me, typically I am down to try most any adventure.

Fast forward two years and a friend let me know he was interested in signing up for Tuscobia and I sure as heck wouldn't be satisfied just shuttling him to the start, so I found myself signing up! With almost 3 months to start I didn't have a fat bike or any of the gear, but those seemed like minor details at the time.

Fast forward to December 28th, 2018 and JB, Zach and I found ourselves at the starting line awkwardly shuffling gear around to get our bikes set up to take off on a bizarre endeavor to say the least. In typical fashion the race had started and we were still putzing around in the parking lot throwing lights on the bikes and applying nordic tape to our faces.

I wouldn't recommend our approach, as we did quite little in regards to training, although we are all relatively fit and active I can't say we put in ample training rides to be attempting this type of ride. The one thing we all did have was experience putting our bodies through physical duress and mental grit.

The first ten miles were lovely, we passed beautiful bogs, the sun was peaking through clouds and the fresh snow was beautifully chilling on the conifers. I began to think this was a great idea and that I was going to really enjoy seeing the winter Wisconsin landscapes at the speed of 7.9 mph. Upon entering Price County I realized things were getting serious, the trail changed drastically as the powder appeared to be untouched by snow mobiles and the fluffy powder that surrounded a narrow bike tire size route put us into a single file line in which you had to be careful to pay attention because any deviation could cause the bike to slip out from under you. If you wanted to pass or be passed it required you to stop and step off of the narrow trail.

Mile 15ish brought about a weird clinking noise, after inquiring if JB heard it as well, we realized I had lost a bolt from my rack. Meaning the entire left side of the rack was hanging free, this sent me walking back on the trail searching for the bolt that was incredibly important to the rest of the ride. With Zach's mechanical expertise we were on our way after about 15 minutes. It was during those 15 minutes that I realized the severity of what we were doing, as my core temperature had plummeted so quickly that I realized how this fun challenge could quickly turn to a survival situation if we became stranded. Good thing for our gear, but hopefully we wouldn't have to rely on our bivy, sleeping bags etc.

The tiredness starting kicking in as we neared the first rest stop Ojibwe at mile 35, we rolled in at saw my dad and brother who were phenomenal spectators and supporters, as this was already the 3rd time we had seen them on the course. It was comforting to know that if something went horribly wrong we wouldn't be stranded in the cold for hours, assuming we could communicate to them. Ojibwe rest stop was wonderful, we entered into a shelter that kept the cold out with tarped windows, fire, and heaters. We enjoyed the random smorgasbord of all the best things one would want to eat in this situtation: Twizzlers, vegetable broth, ramen, warm water, coke, ginger ale, and brandy. After a change of clothes, refill of the camel baks, bathroom break, and a goodbye from my bro and dad we were off.

Rumor had it that the next 30 miles were going to be long and desolate, we had heard of one gas station in Radisson that was the only place to stop so we took the opportunity to guzzle electrolyte laced beverages and beef sticks and just as we lost the last of the light we were off. I have biked only a handful of times at night, so this experience was new to me. We got into a single file line and tried to follow the line of least resistance on the trail with only the ability to see 3 feet ahead with a small amount of trail illuminated it was both a blessing and a curse. I couldn't see what was ahead, which was great, but I also felt a sort of mental exhaustion that comes with having to focus so hard to stay upright and not end up in slick powdery snow.

We biked for what felt like an incredibly long time in what was the darkest, quietest place I had experienced since the Sahara Desert and although we had little energy or words for each other it was nice to be in a peddling rhythm together. As the temps were getting colder we were all quite anxious to get to Birchwood which was the last rest stop before Rice Lake. I was holding off on layering up because I felt that stopping would cool me down to quickly and felt it was easier to keep peddling than to stop and shuffle through my panniers for layers. For the first time we saw lights and I thought we might be nearing town, unfortunately it was a false alarm and there would be two more false alarms that ended up being Christmas lights on houses and then it appeared the beautiful glowing green that could only be the prices of gasoline. I truly have never been so excited for a gas station in all my life. My water had frozen in my camel bak and I hate to admit that it had probably been 2 hours since I had last had a drink of water, so it was time for rehydration. I felt overwhelmed as I walked in and saw an overwhelmingly huge menu of food items, I literally felt unable to decide and ordered the first item my eyes saw, pulled pork sandwich with baked beans and a chai tea. For those who know me that was a weird pick, as normally pork is not of high interest. After sitting down for a few minutes and exchanging a few words with Zach and JB I started to feel cold, like really cold and started to shiver. The shivers increased and soon I was having trouble holding my spoon to eat my beans, it felt almost violent and my back was aching with the intensity of the shakes. Zach kept looking at me concerned and we piled on some layers and I filled a bottle with warm water and put it close to my core. I called me dad and could barely talk because my teeth were shattering, I was 16 miles from the end and mentally not committed to quitting, but was confused at what the heck my body was doing. Luckily, my dad's friend James who is a nurse was there and confirmed that it was a normal experience to get the shakes, this made me feel better and after spending almost 2.5 hours at the gas station I got them under control and we were off!

Although it was only 16 miles it felt so hard mentally to break them apart into a reasonable amount, as it was still over 2 hours on a bike, but we got into our single file line and plugged into a pace and slowly the miles ticked by. My dad and brother checked in on us about 9 miles from the end, which was comforting but we didn't stop long and didn't have much enjoy to talk but all felt mentally committed to finishing.

At mile 13 I started to recognize parts of the trail from previous skiing excursions, I knew that 4 miles from the end we could take a left and enter the last portion of the ride, as soon as we made the turn we were hit with some wind that was definitely not in our favor and although we were peddling the lights of Rice Lake seemed to remain distant. It is funny how antsy the mind gets towards the end. About 100 feet from the end of the race I caught ice and the bike surprisingly slipped out from under me and I hit my head quite hard, thankfully I was wearing a helmet. Zach helped get the bike off of me, I got back on and we happily ended the ride with a hand written sign that said finish and one person, the race coordinators Helen there to document and congratulate us. We entered the Knights of Columbus building, which seemed like heaven and were greeted with pizza and beer. We seemed pretty dazed and confused as we happily ate some pizza and chatted about spending 14 hours on a bike!

Getting from the finish to my parent's house is 2 blocks and at that time it felt quite far, we actually discussed our strategy should we walk, hmmm that might take too long and its really cold. Zach suggested we bike but only ride standing up as our bits were chaffed. Within a block JB had caught black ice and yard saled all over the road, I looked back to see a helmet laying in the middle off of his head. Luckily he wasn't hurt and we went with the original plan of walking, we happily entered my parent's warm house with a weird combination of adrenaline and exhaustion. I am so happy for the experience, as it was quite different from any adventure race/run/or ride that I have ever done, it was both a physical and mental challenge, with a side of managing the elements. I feel quite proud of all of us and how we worked as a team to support each other through the experience.

Frustration

2017-01-06T12:14:00.002-08:00

I'm frustrated and wanted to place this quote right here for safekeeping:

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

~Buddha

Words of Wisdom

2015-01-20T07:43:00.002-08:00

I wanted to share some words of wisdom that I came across yesterday, located on my Good Earth tea bag of all places.

"Care about what others think and you will always be their prisoner" - Lao Tzu

New Years Resolutions 2015

2015-01-19T16:17:00.000-08:00

There is something about writing these things down and putting them out to the world, so with no further ado here are my 2015 resolutions:

Professional Goals:
*Join Toastmasters
*Complete Adecco's Certified Recruiter Course (currently 1/2 way through)
*Sit and pass the PHR
*Complete hour of code http://hourofcode.com/us
*Complete Strength Finder
*Complete a free Tech Course (http://bit.ly/1IpYpsg)

Health Goals:
*Cut sugar consumption (although nothing has been quantified, I would like to reduce my sugar intake and will monitor daily)
*Do more yoga (minimum once per week)
*Meditate (minimum once per week, ideally find a location to practice group meditations)

Personal Goals:
*Take one free online class through course era/ed ex
*go for a solo multiple day backpacking trip
*Write everyone I care about a hand written card
*Cook more healthy meals (2X month cook a large health batch of food)
*be more organized by keeping my car, bedroom organized and clutter free
*learn guitar- really find a way/teacher/class (something that isn't a fortune, that will allow me dedicated time each week to focus on learning)
*lead climb a 5'10a route outdoors
*Read more- (Sunday newspaper, New Yorker, Books)
*Take a swim class (to be able to complete in a triathalon)
*Complete a triathalon (of any distance, I just want to get the lead out and try it)
*Finish book of stories

The Invitation By Oriah Mountain Dreamer

2014-12-22T17:47:00.002-08:00

The Invitation

Oriah Mountain Dreamer

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It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the centre of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shrivelled and closed from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it, or fade it, or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. If you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. If you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty even when it is not pretty every day. And if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand at the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, 'Yes.'

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

My new GIG!

2013-08-03T09:48:00.001-07:00

Well I am a good 2-3 weeks into the job search process and still no job. I have gotten quite a few interviews, but the competition is intense. I am not feeling down about this yet because I feel optimistic that it will happen soon. After all I am a qualified, adaptable candidate(insert wink)!

In the mean time I drive a pedicab or bicycle taxi! Last night was day 2 of my pedicab career and I can tell you I am going to have killer legs.

How it works: I am an independent contractor and lease a pedicab for a night. The fee to lease depends on the night. i.e. Friday and Saturday are expensive to lease, but there are lots of people out, so you hope for the best.

WHY?
Secretly, I have always dreamed of getting paid to ride a bike. When I went to New York City in high school I saw bike messengers cruising around and dreamed of being one. So more than 10 years later I am getting paid to bike!

Hours: Typically a cab is rented for day time or night time. I have yet to work a daytime shift because of the heat and the lack of alcohol influenced customers.Usually I take my cab out around 6:30pm and finish around 2:30am. Truth be told most of my business comes around bar close as people are a little stumbly, tired, and sick of wearing their high heels. I have never been so happy for high heels-they are great for my business!

Pay: I am told $20/hour is average, but I will admit I am slightly below that amount, but it is only my second day!

Hello America

2013-07-23T19:23:00.002-07:00

There she is! (from Google images)

After almost 4 years of living outside of the USA, I have returned and feel like I am now viewing my country through a different set of eyes. I have compiled a list of random things that I have noticed about the homeland.

General Observations:

*There is a ridiculously large amount of water in our toilet bowls.

*Most cars are large and usually have only one person in them, the driver.

*A lot of food tastes bland (esp. after the spiciness of Thai food)

*A lot of restaurant food doesn't seem fresh and tastes of chemicals.

*People seem friendly, open, and warm

*English is everywhere and it is very convenient to understand 100% of what is going on around you.

*People are tall

*At night many women dress in quite revealing clothing

*EVERYONE has a smart phone

*Portlandia is real, people do wait in line for brunch.

*Laws, regulations, licenses, contracts abound

*Tips-tipping is not common in Asia, most definitely not 20%!

*Micro-brews are everywhere and most of them have long and confusing names that tell me nothing about the type of beer they actually are

*American houses are HUGE!

*Public transportation is usually very limited and difficult to get around with

*Organic, free-range, raw, gluten free, vegan, free trade seem mainstream and all the rage

*2 year cell phone contracts, what happened to 1 year?

*Water from the tap is potable!

*There is toilet paper and soap in almost every bathroom.

*Fruit and vegetables are expensive and not very fresh

*People work, work, work, work, work, work

East and West

2013-02-05T21:47:00.001-08:00

from voices.yahoo.com

Last night I finally started reading Richard Nisbett's book The Geography of Thought: How Asians and Westerners Think Differently...and Why. After having spent three years living in Asia (Korea and Thailand) I can tell you that there have been some frustrating and confusing moments over things that I didn't expect. I have had a hard time understanding the process of thought and according to Nisbett it is because the cognitive processes are actually different.

To be honest I used to think that people around the world were all just that, people. We are all doing the same things for survival: eating, sleeping, working, living. If I look at it from a very macro aspect indeed, it is true, but I must say after living and working in Asia there are moments when I am dumbfounded at the differences. Disclaimer: I don't think one viewpoint is "right" while the other is "wrong" I just find it interesting to learn that many of my thought processes come from my geographical location, society, and culture.

These three years have given me an opportunity to look as objectively as possible at my own culture while being submerged in a culture that is quite unlike my own. Specifically, in regards to Thailand many people may have visited as a tourist and seen the "array gdai" or "whatever" attitutude of the people, smiles, and relaxed demeanor's. However, don't be fooled there is a whole lot more going on here that meets the eye, this realization has been both an intriguing journey unraveling the complexities and at times personally frustrating.

Although some might read Nisbett's book and be appalled at what may be considered blanket stereotypes and generalizations I would have to agree that when dealing with homogeneous societies sometimes these blanket generalizations are accurate. A most basic example is the generalization that "most Koreans eat kimchi", and indeed it is true go to Korea and you will see for yourself what a great source of pride this national side dish is for a country.

I will leave you with a small but very pertinent exert from the book:

"The collective or interdependent nature of Asian society is consistent with Asians' broad, contextual view of the world and their belief that events are highly complex and determined by many factors. The individualistic or independent nature of Western society seems consistent with the Western focus on particular objects in isolation from their context and with Westerners' belief that they can know the rules governing objects and therefore can control the objects' behavior."

Not so purple haze!

2013-01-31T20:18:00.003-08:00

picture from asiaone.com

Lingering cough, itchy throat, raspy voice haven't we been here
before? When I lived in Korea I wrote about yellow dust (sand from
west China that gets blown east and affects the air quality of Korea).

Well here I am in Thailand and dealing with "same, same but
different". The air quality for the past month has been horrible. In
Kanchanaburi Province, where I reside, it is sugar cane harvesting
season. The fields are being cut down and long stalks are being put
on antique looking trucks to be carted to factories in order to
produce sugar. After the fields are cleared they are burned (good
ol' slash and burn farming) to yield short term results in lieu of
long term consequences.

I have been told that after the sugar cane is processed the remaining dry stalks are shipped to Japan to be used as livestock feed.  

Since seemingly the majority of the surrounding agricultural land is
sugarcane Kanchanaburi has been experiencing a constant, intense haze. The
weather looks like it is almost on the brink of a rainfall, however
it never occurs because it is just smoke that is partially blocking out the sun.

Seeing this again leads me to ask the question, "at what point can humans cease to exist?"  Literally, how much more pollution can our bodies handle?  It seems many industrial areas and cities are willing to continuously push the limit and test the threshold level of pollution on humans.  I on the other hand am not interested in joining this experiment.  I can not wait to get into the Himalaya Mountains and breath that untouched air.

Funerals in Thailand.

2013-01-23T00:58:00.002-08:00

I don't know where it started, but I am so curious and fascinated by different cultures approaches to death and the process of dying. Thailand's approach is quite different to any other I have experienced. I had the opportunity to experience the whole funeral process from start to finish via my German exchange student's writing assignment. So, although I didn't experience it first hand I will write about it through his eyes.

The funeral was for his host grandfather. It started on a Monday when he realized his host mom and grandmother were dressed all in black, a rarity in Thailand. When he inquired they told him with a straight face that the grandfather had died last night. There was no display of emotion or sadness, it was as if they were asking him what he wanted to eat. In Thailand this is typical, displaying emotions isn't usually culturally acceptable, in fact it is considered impolite.

On Monday evening the funeral began at a local temple, people brought offerings for the family and eventually the monks came in to chant. The deceased was placed in front in a closed coffin with a picture of him placed on top. During the time of chanting, one might assume it would be a somber moment, but actually people were quietly talking and answering cell phones. Before the family went home placed a plate of food and water close to the coffin for the deceased grandfather.

This same procedure was repeated on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Go to the temple, chant with monks, repeat. Some people came every day others came a few days or only once. Each day the food and water plate was filled and placed next to the coffin.

On Saturday, or "burn day" as the family referred to it in English was the day of the cremation. The morning began with the monks chanting, then food was offered to the monks and everyone began eating in which the atmosphere was very casual as if it were any gathering and not a funeral. In the afternoon, the monks chanted for a short period of time and then removed the inner portion of the coffin from the surrounding refrigerated portion. Now it was just a basic,white, wooden box they placed it on a cart and placed a white rope on it and the monks circled around the crematorium three times each time they passed the coffin they would touch the white rope.

Six men carried the coffin into the crematorium and placed it in front of the oven as the monks and people followed. Small white flowers were placed on the casket and the monks were chanting and some people were practicing traditional Thai dancing with music. The monks went back up to the crematorium and opened the casket to place white flowers inside. After they closed the casket 6 men took the casket upstairs and placed it inside the oven. The burning had started and you could see black smoke billowing from the chimney, but still no one was crying in fact everyone was nonchalantly chatting. Although it appeared that some people were sad in their face, but not in their actions.

On Sunday morning, the close family members went back to the temple and were given the bones of the grandfather in a white, silk clothe. A monk came and took a bone from each part of the body and put it in a urn . The rest of the bones were doused in oil and flowers and put back inside the white, cloth. The monk kept the urn and walked away. The family got in the car with the white, silk bone sack and went to the river. They dropped the white, silk bone sack into the river and we watched as they slowly sank.

The next week, back at the temple a hole was cut into a small tower (chedi) and the urn was placed inside. The hole was closed by a gravestone and flowers were placed on top. Regardless of what was going on inside everyone acted very nonchalant and the day went on as normal.

Loi Kratong

2012-12-12T23:34:00.003-08:00

Getting ready to float my "Kratong" down the river.

Last week was a week of celebrating and festivals, which were kicked off by Loi Kratong and followed by the King's birthday.

Loi Kratong is a holiday celebrated in Thailand, Laos, and Myanmar in which people make "kratongs" or flower decorations to float down the river. The flowers are usually decoratively placed on top of a banana stalk along with incense, a candle, and coins.

It is beautiful to look up and down the river and see a continuous stream of flickering candles as they are swept downstream by the currents.

When I inquired about how this holiday began or why it is celebrated It was hard to get a straight answer. Some people believe it is actually a Brahman tradition dating back to Hinduism. Others say it is simply a way to honor the river and all that it provides, and still others claim it is a traditional Thai Buddhist holiday that started during the Sukothai Kingdom(1238-1438). Regardless of how it began or why the tradition doesn't appear to be fading anytime soon.

Floating "kratong"
photo from: http://www.soppong.com/Photos/krathong.jpg

The Places I Have Been -Photo Journey

2012-12-06T05:27:00.002-08:00

The past few years I have had the opportunity to see many beautiful places that the world has to offer. I thought I would share with you some of the photos I have taken from my travels. I hope you enjoy!

Golden Sunrise -Anapurna, Nepal

Buddha's Calm -Busan, Korea

Bayon Temple -Cambodia

Bamboo Fishing Nets -Kreng Ka Wia, Thailand

Sadhus -Varanassi, India

Hiking in Chaing Mai

Humayun's Tomb -Delhi, India

Turtle Bug -Chaing Mai, Thailand

Precious Boonrod -Thailand

Once in a lifetime -Anapurna Nepal

eloquently real -Jodphur India

Morning in Kathmandu, Nepal

French Goats -Old Delhi, India

Thai Teaching License

2012-11-29T00:35:00.001-08:00

Representing Zambia, Philippines, USA, and France

Last week I had the pleasure of attending a three day "Thai Culture and Professional Ethics" Course. After attending this course and passing both the pretest and post tests I will receive my Thai Teacher's License.
The course was fairly informative and well done and I decided to share 8 things that I learned.

1. Thai words are generally one syllable. If words have more than one syllable it can be assumed that it is derived from Khemer, Sanskrit, or Pauli.

2. Thais believe the soul is on the top of the head. Therefore, when giving offerings a person should be outside with nothing above their head.

3. Don't call a baby cute because Thai people believe the spirits might hear and become interested in the child.

4. Thai language has 5 tones: rising, falling, flat, high, and low.

5. The Erawan Shrine in Bangkok was build because a lot of people died while the Hilton Hotel was being built in order to appease the spirits of the dead. In 2006 a "crazy" person broke the shrine.

6. Chinese spirits houses are kept inside the house. Thai spirit houses are kept outside the house.

7. The Emerald Buddha used to be in Laos, now it is in Bangkok. According to Thai's it likes sticky rice.

8. Amulets or Buddhist pendants must be given "power" from a monk.

Shabbat Shalom

2012-11-25T21:08:00.001-08:00

Last Friday I attended my first synagogue which ironically was in Bangkok, Thailand. It was an interesting experience. One thing that struck me right away was how similar I looked to the fellow synagogue attendants, English speaking, mostly Caucasian western dress and style. So, initially especially with a name like Rachel I looked like I fit in, however, upon being handed a Torah in Hebrew it was clear I had no idea what I was doing. It was the first time in a long time that upon first glance I blended in when in actuality I didn't. Living in Asia for over 2 years and North Africa before that I am not used to this reverse situation.

Beyond this initial impression some things that were interesting were the division between men and women. Women sat in an area that was surrounded by a chest high wall and on top of that was a lace curtain which made it quite difficult to see the rabbi and service.

I was also struck by the similar sounding nature of the Hebrew language to that of Arabic. Although it seems obvious due to the geographical closeness of the regions I had never before heard Hebrew spoken for any length of time.

Lastly, the generally chaotic behavior of the service was something I didn't expect. It seemed that one was free to sit down or stand up, chant loudly or softly, chant quickly or slowly, leave the service and come back in as frequently as desired, yawn, look bored, or rock front to back. Kids added to the chaotic nature by zig zagging through the attendees. It seemed to be a very whatever goes atmosphere much unlike the strictness of Catholic Church services in which I was raised.

After the service I attended the dinner and was ecstatic to have been offered no rice and a variety of different breads. Also, unexpected was top shelf liquor!

Shabbat Shalom!

"Teacher Upgrade Please"

2012-09-27T20:48:00.003-07:00

For the last 48 hours I have had an endless parade of students coming to my desk to see their grades, now that in and of itself is fine. However, most of these students in their most annoying, high pitched, whiny voice relentlessly pester me to "upgrade" their scores. Now, I don't mind bumping a student up to the next grade level when they are lacking only a point or two and they have worked hard and shown respect, but I have a number of students who have done nothing repeat nothing. I actually have one student who has NEVER shown up to my class, he has only shown up to take the exam. Now, as a teacher how could I possibly pass him? However, under the system I can not fail him. So, I have spent the last 3 days and relentless hours working with a number of students who haven't given an ounce of effort in my classes. It is my job to figure out a way for them to pass. The logic in this approach escapes me, I believe it sets up a system that discourages effort. This process has left me frustrated beyond belief and this lovely blog gets to bear the brunt.

Thailand: 1 Rachel:0

Cultural Dichotomies

2012-08-30T06:57:00.001-07:00

A male student "on display" in our school parade.

*Disclaimer: I know America (USA) has numerous cultural dichotomies too, but being an American I don't always have the ability to step away and view them as objectively.

Being a cultural outsider can be a unique perspective into a foreign land. It is part of the reason why I enjoy living in different places . I am able to objectively look at a place and easily see the pieces that are conflicting (at least in my mind). For me Asia seems to be the place that has the most, difficult to digest dichotomies for my western mind. Who knows the reason exactly but I would hypothesis that it has to do with a rich, sometimes rigid culture that is now converging with more western and modern ideals.

Myself and my student on sports day?!?!

Today was the perfect example of this convergence which subsequently led to my western mind's utter confusion over the days events.

I was told this week is a "sports day" which I immediately interpreted as meaning healthy competition between classes and grades. I anticipated sports shorts, jerseys, t-shirts and sweaty kids getting their energy out in a healthy way.

This mental picture was quickly diminished when i showed up to today's parade and found everyone dressed in a manner that seemed more for the runway than a sporting event. My students were hardly recognizable as they were transformed from my sweet, awkward, teenagers with acne, glasses and braces into these runway models wearing high heels, fancy up-dos, and a half pound of make up and glitter.

The students pranced around town and ended at the football/soccer field of our school. Maybe this was where they got the name sport's day? Because what ensued was clearly not a sport I was familiar with. The students marched awkwardly around and spent the better part of the next hour standing with a fake smile slapped on their face as they were photographed and paraded in front of the covered stand of administrators.

A male student participating in our school parade.

Due to the heat we lost a few to fainting spells or maybe high heel give outs. After what seemed like an awkwardly long amount of time to just stand there while the public stared back they were awarded prizes, for beauty I would assume.

This whole display left me with a bad feeling. In my humble opinion, I felt as if my female students were being displayed, sexified, and objectified and for what? There was no dance, no music, no performance, just standing and looking pretty.

This leads me to the dichotomy I feel in Thailand (and Asia in general), there are many moments when Asia is extremely conservative and strict and then bam they throw a racy, sexy, low cut dress, and parade around town.

240 Kilometer canoe trip!

2012-05-02T01:54:00.004-07:00

Early morning pre-heat=happiness

Last week Paul and I both had vacation time and were looking for an adventure. We found our answer through a random stop at a canoe maker in a city near the border of Myanmar called Sangkhlaburi. To our surprise when we walked into the Sanghalei Canoe & Kayak Company we met a pleasant Canadian man named Brent. We explained to him our goal of completing the journey from Sangkhlaburi to Kanchanaburi and he chuckled a jolly laugh and promptly pulled everything together to enable us to embark on our journey the next week.

April 25th: Bright and early we were sent off from the guesthouse pier and enjoyed a beautiful day of canoeing Khao Laem Lake. We encountered some frustrating wrong turns as we tried to navigate the lake through dry season with a map that vaguely resembled what was the current reality. After a lunch of homemade tortillas, mangoes and oatmeal we enjoyed a tail wind that brought us to an island 5 kilometers or less from Paul's Peace Corps village. We took a swim/shower and enjoyed the beautiful sunset. We were proud of our first camping dinner, a combination of crushed black beans and ramen. Exhausted we crawled in the ten and could barely stay awake until 8pm.

Paul getting his paddle on.

April 26th: We woke up bright and early to capitalize on the calm morning and cooler temperatures. Today was spent navigating around islands and inlets. The heat was intense and shade was lacking. Paul managed to take refuge from the elements in a cave during our swim/lunch break. We were quite disoriented on the lake and took a wrong turn towards the dam. Luckily, we realized it quickly and didn't have to backtrack far.

April 27th: We met Brent for a portage around the dam at a small town called Tongphaphum. Although it was only 2 days on the lake I felt like a cave woman as I reentered society and sat in a CHAIR while eating food at a restaurant. After restocking our supplies we headed to the river and were quite overjoyed to see it moving quite fast! The rest of our day was spent merely steering our way through the windy river wishing we had bought cold beers to enjoy our float trip. The scenery was beautiful lots of tropical birds, high mountains and jungle.

April 28th: More of the same blissful currents and swimming breaks. We pirated onto a floating hotel and ate lunch in a hammock. Paul enjoyed looking at each and every hotel!

Watching the beautiful sunset from our island campsite on day 1

April 29th: River honeymoon over (well kind of)! The river unexpectedly widened and the current slowed WAY down! The mountains fade away and we find ourselves surrounded by farm land. Not all is lost we enjoyed seeing water buffalo and elephants escaping the heat in the river.

April 30th: Where the hell are we? The river has taken us on a convoluted, windy course. Kanchanaburi (our final destination) feels like it should be around any corner yet, it never appears. We are still enjoying the river but, ready to shower and eat "farang" foreign food.

Paul enjoying our daily swimming break.

May 1st: Man, are we ready for Kanchnaburi. We flag down nearly every fisherman we pass to gauge our location and every person gives us a different answer. However, we gather from all the sources that Kanchanaburi will be attainable to reach today! After some vicious stretches of head winds and running on almost zero for food. We are relieved to start seeing more houses and karaoke boats, a sign of civilization. We arrive in Kanchanaburi excited but completely disorientated. With no fanfare we high five and get a picture, pull our canoe up and indulge in a cold beer and papaya salad to celebrate!

A typical view during our lake portion of the journey

Mango Season!

2012-04-22T23:22:00.003-07:00

Bountiful mango trees

Mango season is in full swing here in Thailand. Which means mango trees are overflowing with this sweet, delightful fruit.
For less than .25 cents I purchased 5 mangoes from my local market just yesterday!

One of the joys of living in a tropical climate is getting to experience a plethora of new fruits and veggies that are usually way to expensive to risk buying in a grocery store in the Midwest.

Without further ado I would like to introduce to you one of my new, favorite fruits...the mangosteen

The mangosteen in all is glory (Google image)

Thailand take 2

2012-04-22T23:14:00.001-07:00

Hello to all after a long hiatus of traveling I am back in the blog world. Once my computer arrives I will try to do a photo summary of the last 6 months of adventures around Nepal and India.

I am currently sitting at a desk in air conditioning at my new job as a high school English Teacher in Kanchanaburi, Thailand. It was definitely not something I intended to do, move to Thailand and teach English however, I am satisfied with my situation. It is looking to be a good year.

Paul and I celebrating Songkran

What the hell is Songkran?
Songkran is the traditional Thai new year. The way it is celebrated is like most holidays with a lot of alcohol and music. The difference is the entire country of Thailand has a water fight. Literally everyone everywhere is throwing water at each other.

It is considered a blessing when someone douses you so, after getting a bucket of water thrown at you, you say thanks and carry on. On top of that our faces are smeared with a fragrant chalkesque substance, I guess you could say its the cherry on top of the blessing.

I loved this holiday and would highly advise America to adopt it! :

Stories of Courage

2011-12-30T00:31:00.000-08:00

This week was great. I had the opportunity to join the "that takes ovaries" campaign and head into the villages around Delhi that we work with.
Through a 4 day workshop we encouraged the women and girls of the village to share stories of courage. This is what we got:
Day 1: Adolescent Girl’s Session
Shared Stories of Courage:
Rakhi’s Story: Two boys were doing acid I told them not to and because of my persistence they eventually stopped.
Teku and Kaishma’s Story: Our parents wouldn’t let us do anything, not even leave the house to visit our grandparents. We stood our ground and continuously demanded to be able to go out. Eventually my sister and I made the decision that it was our right to be able to leave our house so, we went out. Our parents realized that we were capable and continued to let us leave.

Bhauti’s Story: My uncle would drink and when he drank he would beat his wife. I saw this happening and didn’t think it was right. So, eventually I got up the courage and told my uncle to stop. He listened and stopped.

Phuspa’s Story: My brother was smoking, drinking and not going to school. My parents were very frustrated with his behavior and responded by beating him. It wasn’t helping my brother wasn’t changing his behavior. I noticed this and told my mother that instead of violence she needs to talk to him. My mother took my advice and through talking to him he listened and now goes to school and stopped drinking.
Muskaan’s Story: I was walking with my mother when I noticed a small child in the road and saw that a car was coming towards him. I saw that he was going to be hit so I let go of my mother’s hand and rushed over to the small child and saved him from being run over by the car.

Mamata’s Story: I was really sick for a long time but my husband and mother in law didn’t take my illness seriously and continued to make me do all the housework regardless of my condition. My husband was very lazy and would smoke and drink all the time. I realized this isn’t how I want to be treated so, one day I stood up for myself and returned to my family’s home. My husband was shocked and came to get me when he came I told him I would to go unless he changed his behavior and started treating me better. He was very surprised but agreed and now we are back living together and his behavior is much better.

Megha’s Story: I am a good student and enjoy going to school. Because of my high scores the other students make fun of me. One day I stood up for myself and said “I’m good at what I do, don’t make fun of me.” Since that day I have the prestigious role of classroom monitor.

Kajal’s Story: My family didn’t have enough money for me to go to school but, I really wanted to go. So, I saved up all my pocket money, I never bought candy or anything and eventually I saved enough to pay for my school tuition. Now I am going to school and paid my own dues.

Momal’s Story: I was at the market and noticed a man drop his money. I grabbed the money and ran after the man and returned it to him. I could have kept it but I knew it wasn’t mine.

Feelings/Reactions to stories:
“I’m proud of Mamta’s story of leaving her husband now he knows he can’t abuse her. Her story is important for all of us because it could happen to any of us and we must have courage so stand up for ourselves.”
“I liked the story of saving the child. It was very courageous and she saved a life.”
“I liked sharing my story because it felt good to open my heart and let out something so personal.”

Indian Rupees

2011-12-15T23:01:00.000-08:00

Money Quirks:

Well, hello there Ghandi!
(Photo taken from Wikipedia)

India is a quirky place. With that statement this blog could be quite long but, I will focus on the quirkyness of money in India.

The first quirk is the ubiquitous issue of change. Everyday I must start my day by strategizing how I will obtain small bills in order to barter effectively for that day. In the USA most store owners forsee that they will need change throughout their day. Therefore, they make it a point to set up their cash registers appropriately so, as not to hinder business.
But, in the land of India the responsibility falls on the customer to have exact change. Many a time I have been turned away because I didn't have exact change for the item I had hoped to buy.

Ripped Bills:
Quirky India two revolves around ripped bills. Never before have I had to be so diligent in checking over every last paper rupee I receive to assure that there isn't the slightest rip. People are constantly rejecting currency due to tears rendering it useless. This means that being the unaware, foreign lady I have received a lot of reject money due to my ignorance of this issue. I am happy to report I am now a rupee nazi, turning paper money down left and right!

Currency Exchange:
After spending the better part of an hour wandering around trying to exchange my last chunk of Nepalese Rupees for Indian Rupees with no luck, I learned about the prohibition of importing or exporting Indian Rupees.

Human Trafficking FAQS

2011-12-15T22:17:00.000-08:00

Namaste,

Photo from worldvision

I am currently in Delhi, India interning with the organization Apne Aap, an ngo that combats sex trafficking. I encourage you to check out their website here to learn more.

Apne Aap means "self help" in Hindi and their focus is on increasing choices and opportunities for women in prostitution and/or their children.

The issue of human trafficking is one of the biggest injustices of our time and it is only increasing. I feel more attention needs to be brought to this cause to end the suffering of millions of people.

Posted are some FAQS regarding this booming industry.I hope these numbers shock you into action or at the very least encourage you to research more into this issue.

FAQS:

What is trafficking?

Although various sources and people have multiple definitions, the UN Protocol’s definition is widely cited stating:

“Trafficking in persons shall mean the recruitment, transportation, transfer, harbouring, or receipt of persons, by means of the threat or use of force or other forms of coercion, of abduction, of fraud, of deception, of the abuse of power or of a position of vulnerability or of the giving or receiving of payments or benefits to achieve the consent of a person having control over another person, for the purpose of exploitation. Exploitation shall include, at a minimum, the exploitation of prostitution of others or other forms of sexual exploitation, forced labour, or services, slavery, servitude, or the removal of organs.”

Elements of Human Trafficking

v The Act (What is done)

Recruitment, transportation, transfer, harbouring or receipt of persons

v The Means (How it is done)

Threat or use of force, coercion, abduction, fraud, deception, abuse of power or vulnerability, or giving payments or benefits to a person in control of the victim

v The Purpose (Why it is done)

For the purpose of exploitation, which includes exploiting the prostitution of others,

How many people are trafficked every year?

It is difficult to get an exact number due to the underground nature of the industry. However, it is estimated 10-30 million people are living in slavery NOW. (Multiple sources: ILO, Siddharth Kara, Kevin Bales)

Who are the trafficked?

According to the United Nations Office on Drugs and Crime(A Global Report on Trafficking in Persons, 12 February 2009, the most common form of human trafficking today (79%) is sexual exploitation. The victims of sexual exploitation are predominantly women and girls.

A child is trafficked every 30 seconds (UNICEF)

Why are they trafficked?

There are at least 12.3 million adults and children in forced labor, bonded labor and commercial sexual servitude at any given time.( United States Department of State, The 2010 Trafficking in Persons Report (2010), citing ILO statistics)

Economic profitability: Human Trafficking is a 32 billion dollar per year industry. (The United Nations)

Where is this happening?

Human trafficking affects every country of the world, as countries of origin, transit or destination - or even a combination of all (UNODC).

What is the world doing about it?

At the international level, the adoption in 2000 by the United Nations General Assembly of the Protocol to Prevent, Suppress and Punish Trafficking In Persons, Especially Women and Children marked a significant milestone in international efforts to stop the trade in people.

Each national government that has ratified the UN protocol is now setting up National Plans of Action and changing the law to:

· Prevent trafficking in persons

· Protect trafficked persons

· Prosecute traffickers and end users

At the national level, governments around the world are passing new laws to punish traffickers and demand. Some of the countries that have addressed demand successfully include: Sweden, South Korea, Phillipines, Chile and East Timor

What can you do about it?

Sign Apne Aap's petition here. This petition will be presented to the Indian Parliament in an effort to ammend the Indian Immoral Traffic Prevention Act. The ammendment aims to take the criminalization off of the women and onto the traffickers.

Educate yourself: Read the state department's TIPS Report (Trafficking in Persons), google search: human trafficking, pick up a book on the issue.

Write your representative: In the USA state law dictates the penalties for traffickers and prostitutes. Research the laws and write your representatives to put pressure on them to make the laws more stringent towards traffickers and pimps.