Caustic Candy

Central Park Hotel, Hong Kong: A shabby filthy hole

2012-05-05T09:12:41Z

Rooms as advertised on the hotel website.

Review:

I’m currently investigating hotels in Hong Kong that can be had for US$200 or less a night.

A couple of weeks ago it was the turn of the Central Park Hotel in Sheung Wan. A 3* hotel that is used by many overseas travel agents who put tour groups there or those who are staying just one night in HK on a transfer through to somewhere else.

So, was it the “hip boutique hotel…in the heart of Hong Kong’s financial and commercial centre” that it claims on its website to be?

Nothing could be further from the truth.

For a start, when I last looked (yesterday), the financial and commercial heart of Hong Kong Island was definitely still Central and Admiralty, whereas Sheung Wan was still the heart of sharks fin and dried bark trade. But petty differences in geographical opinions aside, onwards to what I actually experienced.

After an unnecessarily long 15 minute check-in process, the first room I was assigned (2504 I believe it was) was so musty, and the atmosphere was so damp I couldn’t believe they’d dared give me the key. Uninhabitable.

The mould covered the entire wall

Keeping the door wedged open so as not to be overcome by the smell, I rang reception for a new room. As I was on the phone holding for a response, I realised that the odd pattern on the wallpaper I was staring at was in fact mould. It was all over the entire wall behind the bed.

I then looked at the other walls and found rising damp above the skirting boards, stained carpets and general scruffiness – and this was one of the rooms on the Executive Floor!

On to the second room.

I went to meet a porter on the 7th floor, and as soon as the lift doors opened the reek of stale cigarette smoke was thick in the air. I told the porter I wouldn’t stay in a smoking room as I had indicated on my booking reservation, so there was no need for me to see it, yet he assured me that it was just the corridor that smelled. Hmm, what a bloody stupid thing to say, and what a bloody stupid room to try and check me into when I’d asked for a non-smoking room, and already turned down one room partly because of the stench.

Against my wishes he hauled me into the room, and lo and behold, on entering it was more like walking into a smoking lounge at an airport than a hotel room. Having reiterated my request to change room, poor Mr Porter suggested that maybe all it needed was some air-freshener! Um…No…What it needs is a thorough gutting.

I tilted my head to one side and looked at him with pity, “That would be like spraying perfume on a pile of poo, dear. It’s still a pile of poo, and will still stink like a pile of poo, although probably just more rancid once the smell of pine and lilies has worn off a little.” He smiled back weakly in bafflement, as these were not the English words he was used to hearing. Poor chap, but by this stage I was gently fuming.

On the march again, and on to the third room.

This room was still shabby, dented and scratched, but at least it didn’t smell, but by now I was running so late that it would have to do.

I had a quick shower, where I noticed that the window frame didn’t fit properly so there was an air gap down the entire length of one side, and the loo was surrounded by a blooming stain of rust.

In the bedroom I also saw that not only was the bed so low to the ground that it didn’t even come up to my knees, but I also realised that it was rather short. Rather too short for even a person of just 5 foot 10 inches, which isn’t overly tall by anyone’s standards apart from probably the Mbuti tribes of central Africa. Livid and running late I had no time to do anything about it.

My night out was not starting well.

Rising damp, ill-fitting windows, leaking toilets

Later that evening, after a fine meal at a surprisingly empty Roka and a trip to the flicks, the bed as expected was found to be too short for Mr H, who had to sleep diagonally across it and I had to sleep with my knees round my ears (and not for any kinky reason at all).

In the morning before even 7:15am had rolled around, the cleaning staff were crashing about with their walkie talkies squawking at full volume, so the only thing to do was admit defeat, forego the lie-in and check-out as quickly as possible.

The night out was thus not a great success I’m sad to report, but at least it has given me the chance to reveal the full horror of the hotel to you here, and thus save countless others from a night of misery (and potential infection). I did wonder about reporting the hotel to the Food and Hygeine Department, but instead have settled for exposing the hotel for the disgusting, health hazard it most surely is through these pages.

Price: We paid HK$1308 (US$168) for a Garden View room for the night through Agoda, booked on the day. We ended up staying in a cheaper City View room, but I didn’t have time to argue once I’d finally settled on the 10th floor, and as we’d pre-paid it wasn’t worth my while walking out to find another hotel at so late an hour.

Website: www.centralparkhotel.com.hk

Anantara Dream – Luxe cruising in Bangkok?

2012-05-02T08:46:57Z

Review:

Anantara Dream’s is a funny old offering: some of the most expensive river-cruising accommodation in South East Asia, but on what you usually think of as one of the least picturesque rivers in the region.

Although the first day is spent sliding past some of Bangkok’s more industrial areas, I didn’t find that to be a bad thing, as it was absolutely fascinating to see how the Chao Phraya is such an important communications route for Thailand, and to watch a bit of everyday life along the way.

I also quickly realised that we would never have got round to visiting all the sites we did on this tour if we’d just done them as day trips from Bangkok. The likes of the Royal Barge Museum and the Bang Pa In summer palace are a lot more interesting than they sound, and although we visited more than six temples and monasteries in just 72 hours, I was only just on the verge of temple-fatigue.

Concept:

Anantara Dream is a two-cabined 55ft converted teak rice-barge that you charter exclusively for a 3 day/2 night cruise from Bangkok to the erstwhile capital of Ayutthaya. Along the way you visit a number of temples, markets and palaces, eat on board, and sleep tied up along the side of the river. All the while you are looked after by the three-man crew – a host, helmsman and chef.

Accommodation:

Fifty-five feet is plenty big enough for four guests and three crew to live on very happily. The whole boat is wood floored and wood pannelled. Up top there is an open viewing deck that leads into a large lounge area with a barrelled roof. The eves come well down so that even if it rains you won’t be soaked, and when it’s very sunny you are still shaded when sitting on the sofas placed around the sides.

The two cabins downstairs are similarly sized with big, comfortable beds, large windows, traditional artifacts and furnishings, air-con, dimmer switches etc, and then downstairs again, in the bowels of the boat, you have the ensuite bathroom.

The cabins were really delightful, and certainly everything that I expected they should be.

I have to admit though, that when I first got on board I was a little bit peeved at the slight shabbiness of the upper deck. The pictures on the website gallery are true to life, but up close some of the wood is quite scuffed and there are stains on the sofa cushions. Both these issues are so easily fixed that I was quite annoyed that the Anantara hadn’t bothered to. When you are paying upwards of US$1,300 per person for a two night trip, I think you can expect the cushions to be clean!

However, that is literally the only complaint I have. Everything else about the trip was superb.

Service:

Johnny was our host, Witiya was our Chef and Milky was our helmsman and these three guys were just brilliant.

Johnny was an absolute fountain of information about Thai history and culture, and was super-willing to answer all of our questions about Thailand in general, ghost stories in particular and himself as well.

He took us to be blessed by the head of a monastery that we moored beside on the first night, and had organised gifts for us to offer in thanks for letting us stay there. He showed us how to fold lotus lilies, which we then bound together and took to offer at another temple later in the day. He also helped us haggle for goods in Koh Kred’s market, and took us on walks and around some of the lesser temples we visited.

All of this could sound very contrived, especially as I have an almost pathological dislike of guided tours, but because we were such a tiny group, and Johnny’s enthusiasm to show us his culture so sincere, we really had an awesome time, and even Mr H finally got into his flower arranging, although in a rather competitive way…

Finally there was Milky our captain who was always ready to answer our questions about what we could see along the river banks and about the river traffic itself. After hours of driving up or downstream he would then help Wity prepare dinner.

If you want to experience Thai service at its best it would be difficult to beat this team.

Food:

Having a personal chef for three days cooking some really, really good Thai food was a complete treat. We had to ask for less food by the end of the first day as we were overwhelmed by the quantities of dishes coming out of the galley. It was our guests’ first time to Thailand and I couldn’t have been more happy with the food that they were introduced to. It was traditional Thai fare, and a little easy on the chili, but the variety, quality and care taken to produce it was impressive. Our guests loved it.

Wity gave us a cookery lesson too on the final day, so we made a nahm prik and a prawn and green mango salad with him that formed part of our lunch.

Excursions:

Anne was our expert guide for all the main sites we visited like Wat Arun, the royal barge museum, Wat Panancherng, Ayutthaya and the Bang Pa In summer palace. She was hilarious. Not only knowledgable and engaging but had a really cheeky sense of humour that made our time with her a lot of fun. These on-shore tours were organised by Exotissimo and they did a great job. I can highly recommend using them across SE Asia, (we used them again for a day trip out of Hanoi later in the trip).

Scenery:

It takes all of the first day to really get out of Bangkok’s cityscape, and there is a good deal of industry and housing along the riverbanks. It’s not exactly picturesque, but it’s fascinating to see the day-to-day life on the river. From mid-morning on the second day you are out in the countryside so you feel much more in the rural rhythm of Thailand.

Summary:

The trip was definitely worth the money. To begin with, when I got on board I did wondered what we had paid so much money for as I’d been totally focussed on how opulent I was expecting the vessel to be and it wasn’t quite there. But by the time lunch was served and we’d already visited a couple of sites I was completely won over because our hosts were fantastic and the food brilliant.

Floating around on a boat is a lovely way to spend a few days around Bangkok. As our guests were visiting three countries and four cities in two weeks I didn’t want to subject them to very long road trips or more internal flights when we were in Thailand. I needed to find something close to Bangkok to while away a few days.

I also knew it was going to be ridiculously hot in April, and so to be able to see so much at low speed and low impact, with ice-cold towels permanently on-hand, this tour was perfect for us.

Price:

Approx US5,500 (THB170,000). This exclusive charter includes two nights accommodation for four people. about one zillion meals and three days of guided tours and activities including entrance fees. Soft drinks were also included in the price, so we only had to pay for our wine or beer with dinner as we had brought our own Hendricks for some top quality sundowners.

Find out all about the tour at www.bangkok-cruises.anantara.com

Monachyle Mhor Hotel: A little slice of Scottish heaven

2012-04-24T11:33:54Z

Review :

Chances are that when you rock up at an unassuming boutique hotel on the edge of a Scottish loch far from civilization and there’s a helicopter sat on the lawn, you’ve probably found somewhere worth the journey.

Loch Voil is just an hour away from both Glasgow and Edinburgh airports in the less visited part of the Trossachs National Park. It’s a stunning landscape of glens, babbling rivers and forests, and is steeped in the history of Rob Roy McGregor, made famous by Daniel Dafoe and Sir Walter Scott, who lived, fought and died here.

Far down a single track road, which is barely marked on the map, the Monachyle Mohr estate has been owned by the Lewis family since 1983. It’s a real family run business that has been built up with hard graft over the intervening years to bring it to where it is today – a lovely boutique hotel, a working farm producing quality meat and veg, an award winning restaurant, and owner of a host of other business in the area including Mohr Bread (a bakery), Mohr Fish (a fishmongers and restaurant), and Mohr Tea (a tearoom).

On our visit, we stayed in one of the feature rooms in the old granary on the ground floor across the courtyard from the main, rather startlingly pink house. It was a spacious and warm, wooden-floored bedroom with a homely gas fire, a steam-room, and a very comfortable bed. It didn’t have much of a view, but that was hardly a deal breaker as it was the only bedroom available when we booked just the day before.

When we arrived, lunch had already finished but we were offered door-step sandwiches and huge mugs of tea in the cosy lounge in the main house instead. Just what we needed after a long, wet drive from Grantown-on-Spey way up north in The Highlands.

What we had really come for though was the promise of a great evening meal, as it was the award winning restaurant that attracted us in the first place when it had appeared in Mr H’s internet search for “best Scottish restaurant”. The subsequent discoveries that the hotel itself was rather wonderful and the location so stunning were purely bonuses.

Using local game, the farm’s own grass-fed, dry-aged angus beef and lamb, and vegetables grown in the garden, Tom Lewis prepares wonderful food from the ingredients available on the estate, and from the best fish and seafood Scotland has to offer.

I can understand why people fly in from the city by seaplane or helicopter for lunch to enjoy the likes of Perthshire spring lamb, mustard celeriac remoulade, chantenay carrots with juniper jus, or crispy hen’s egg, new season’s white and green asparagus, with lemon sorrel – we certainly weren’t disappointed with what we were fed.

As ours was a bit of a whirlwind tour around Scotland we only had one night to stay in the Mohr, so we left wanting more. You could spend days wandering the countryside, fishing the loch or birdwatching, and the estate manager Alan will take you on safari to tell you the history of Rob Roy and to spot the local wildlife – well worth the money for a morning of exploring.

Sent on our way at noon the next day we were given a hearty packed lunch of sandwiches, fruit, local cheese with homemade oatcakes, and even a butter knife each from the restaurant. As we drove away and came to the end of the loch we spied a for-sale sign on a piece of land, so promptly took down the details for further investigation. One way or another we’ll definitely be back to Loch Voil and The Mohr to experience this little slice of Scottish heaven again.

Price: Rooms start from US$312 per night.

Location: Balquhidder, Lochearnhead, Perthshire, FK19 8PQ. Tel: 01877 384622.

Website: http://mhor.net

The Golden Silk, Hanoi – Elegance in Exclusive Luxury my arse…

2012-04-24T03:49:58Z

One of the quieter moments on Hang Gai

Review:

I found the website to the new Golden Silk Hotel in Hanoi back in February. It was yet to open, but from the website it looked as though it might finally be the breakthrough boutique hotel that Hanoi so desperately needs, and I was all for trying it.

If money isn’t a concern and you just want to stay somewhere small, stylish and 4* or 5* in Hanoi, it is utterly impossible.

The options at the deluxe end for a quick weekend break are:

The Sofitel Metropole‘s Historic Wing – very pleasant, but unless you stay in one of the history soaked suites, ultimately it’s just like any other 5* hotel. The rooms have been refurbed to the point of losing their historic feel.
The Sofitel Metropole’s Opera Wing – pleasant, but modern with no real connection with the older areas of the hotel, so could be any Sofitel in any city in the world.
The Hilton Opera – pleasant, modern, again could be any Hilton hotel in any city in the world.

The Metropole has a lovel swimming pool and landscaped courtyard, so definitely rates higher than the Hilton and is a very nice hotel, but it has somehow lost most of its former charm in the refurbishment, which is a great shame, (oo, and don’t eat at Spices Garden)

There are other 5* hotels in Hanoi, but none of them are within easy walking distance of the Old Quarter which is where you want to spend most of your time poking around, so aren’t very convenient for tourists.

The next level down in price are the raft of Hanoi’s 3* boutique townhouse hotels. These include the Luxe Guide recommended Church, and the Zephyr (no idea why these two in particular, they don’t seem to offer much to me), and whilst all of them try to deliver an international standard of styling, quality, amenities and service, none of them actually manage it.

Plus, if you want to stay in a decent room at any of these hotels, it’s going to set you back upwards of US$100, (all their cheapest rooms are well under US$100), and it starts making more sense to just suck it up and go to the Metropole.

Under this level, are the plethora of small, honest to goodness 2* and 3* townhouse hotels, that are just as comfortable and have the same amenities as their ’boutique’ brethren, but with none of the deluded aspiration.

Find one in a quiet spot (I’ve had a lot of luck with a number of the Prince Hotels over the years), and you’ll enjoy family style service and clean rooms at great value.

The Golden Silk is unforunately yet another example of that merry middle band of boutique hotels that promise luxury and barely deliver anything beyond necessity, (i.e. four walls, a bed and a basin). Here’s my take.

Service:

This hotel had been open barely six weeks when we stayed and so I didn’t expect much of the service. It was horrendous though – painfully slow, staff who weren’t empowered to make decisions when faced with a problem to be solved, and no managers around in the evenings or at the weekend to sort out such problems personally. We spent much of our time forcing the staff to ring the managers for their input when there was an issue.

Weird to stay in a hotel where the staff thought that their managers’ leisure time was more important than their guests’.

The staff need training, and I’m sure that the service will improve when they get it. Unfortunately the rest of the problems with the hotel will not improve without a complete refurbishment, or maybe a few days with a bulldozer…

Rooms:

The bathrooms: Let’s start at the design travesty of the bathrooms and get one thing clear. For all those idiots à l’étranger who post on Trip Advisor and think that a separate bath and shower are the very quintessence of sophistication: it’s not, it’s a basic human right. Any hotel that describes itself as luxury and then makes you clamber into the bath just to get clean deserves a rating of zero. The Golden Silk has actually managed to screw this up even further by installing showers that spray water everywhere but the bath, and so unless you dam the edges with towels you end up with a flooded bedroom.

Not content with designing a bathroom with merely safety hazards to negotiate, the Golden Silk has gone one step beyond in the silly stakes and inexplicably, (but like a growing number of its Asian contemporaries who can’t afford switchable smart glass), erected a clear glass wall to separate bathroom from bedroom…and then plonked the loo in full view of the bed.

Although there is a “modesty” blind of sorts it covers both the wall and door, so it’s impossible to get in and out without hoisting and lowering said blind on each visit.

I just don’t understand the f**king stupidity of the interior designers. It’s not just the fact that I don’t want my beloved to inadvertently catch a glimpse of me straining on the pot; what about when one of us needs to visit the bathroom in the night? There is no way to not disturb the other person unless we start wearing bloody headlamps to clamber around the room. The bathrooms are so awful that I wouldn’t stay here again just because of them.

Can you see the similarity?

Right -onto the rest of the bedroom.

The styling: Hotel marketing 101 suggests that you don’t lie about the rooms on your website. None of the rooms (and I looked in four) looked anything like the renderings on the website. Shiny floors, square rooms not rectangular, no rugs, no dimmer switches on the lighting etc, etc, meant that I couldn’t actually get the room to look even close to what was displayed on the website. I was standing scrunched in the corner to take my photo, so the perspective in the hotel’s rendering is way out, and the Studio Suites are far smaller than suggested.

The noise: It seems rather a large screw-up that in the Golden Silk the more expensive your room, the noisier it becomes. The “better” rooms have balconies, are larger and apparently have more furniture. Unfortunately they have the same bathrooms and hanging rails and are also on the front of the hotel.

Hang Gai is pretty much the busiest street in the Old Quarter, so the noise is appalling. Plus, the windows and doors don’t fit, so though they are double-glazed, they are pointless.

Even if I didn’t nearly die of shame every time I had to take a pee, I can’t recommend anyone to stay in a room above Luxury class (which are all at the back of the hotel), because of the cacophony of constant traffic and early morning loudhailers they will be subjected to.

The terraces: None of the rooms have terraces. They have balconies wide enough for a table and chairs, but there are none provided, so it’s pointless to have a balcony.

Again, do not stretch the truth on your marketing material, over-promising and under-delivering is unforgivably bad business practice.

The wardrobe: There was no wardrobe. Simply a couple of short hanging racks along part of the bathroom wall. A complete mess and somewhat in contradiction to the idea of luxury in a hotel.

Powerpoints: The one powerpoint in the luxury room took five minutes to find and was behind a heavy bedside lamp that had to be moved to access it. There was one powerpoint in the Studio Suite in the same position and another thankfully near a shelf in a more convenient place.

Bedside lamps: The bedside lamps in all the rooms had their switches hanging off the far edge of the bedside table making it impossible to reach whilst actually in bed.

Electicity and Water Pressure: Hanoi does seem to have a bit of an issue with the stability of its water pressure and electricity, so it was no worse here than at any other of the townhouse hotels I’ve stayed in. Don’t expect hot water on the higher floors by 9:30am.

Beds: Surprisingly the beds were not rock solid, and were actually pretty comfortable. In the luxury rooms though the beds are so wide that there isn’t really space for much else. However on the plus side, if you are six foot five inches tall you can sleep across the bed, which makes it one of the best hotels for tall people in the whole of the capital.

Summary:

If my expectations had been managed properly before I arrived - a photo of the bathroom, realistic descriptions of rooms, and photos not renderings, then I think my impression of the hotel would have been more forgiving. But having been dumped in a room in a lower category without being told when I checked in, and then at every turn when I wanted to do something in the room being faced with inconvenient and downright stupid design, I’m not in the mood to be charitable. The Golden Silk provides a brilliant case study of pretty much everything you shouldn’t do when building a new hotel.

So, once again I shall have to make my way back to the Metropole or the Prince until someone in Hanoi finally comprehends and then manifests a Boutique Luxury Hotel. I’ve been travelling to the city for seventeen years, and I’d have hoped by now that the hoteliers here would have caught up with the rest of Indochina. Heavens to Betsy! If Laos can manage a dazzling array of small luxury hotels why the darnation can’t Vietnam?

Location: 109-111 Hang Gai Street, Hoan Kiem District, Hanoi, Vietnam, Tel: 84-4-3928 6969

Website: www.goldensilkhotel.com

A handful of Hanoi Restaurants

2012-05-04T05:04:22Z

Review:

So, we went to Hanoi for a quick getaway with some guests last weekend. Apart from the irritation of having to fly out of the ridiculous Gate 500 hub in the middle of what feels like Hong Kong Airport’s runway, the Dragonair flights leaving at 18:00 on a Friday and returning at 19:50 on Sunday were perfectly timed.

We arrived at our hotel in Hoan Kiem just after 20:00; well in time for dinner and a night out. We therefore were able to fit in two dinners and two lunches before jumping back on the plane to Hong Kong on Sunday evening.

Here were our meals:

The Spices Garden, Sofitel Metropole

Rapacious prices, mediocre food, dreadful service.

I don’t understand how the best and most expensive hotel in Hanoi is happy to run a restaurant this dismal.

I usually get my restaurant advice from the boards on Chowhound, but there is precious little on the Vietnamese capital, so I relied on a website called Rusty Compass that described the joint as “for those wanting to gently ease into local cuisine off the street in a 5 star space…a very nice upscale Vietnamese cuisine experience.”

Sounded perfect for our guests who weren’t yet comfortable to sit on plastic stools on a pavement to eat food delivered from a hole in the wall, or a bunsen burner in the gutter. How wrong that decision turned out to be.

Beef was tough as boots, everything that was fried was oily, the waiter kept jabbing his fingers into the food to tell us what to dip into what, and completely failed to mention that many of the items in the traditional platter were repeated in some of the other starters we ordered.

Green Tangerine - a quiet courtyard oasis

Please don’t waste your money on dinner here. Have a drink at the lovely Bamboo Bar, but sidestep the monstrous Spices Garden. We spent US$240 for four people eating only starters and mains with one reasonably priced bottle of wine.

Ngon (Quan An Ngon), 18 Phan Boi Chau, Tel: +84 4 3942 8162

Fun, great service, good food. The safe-bet.

It’s loud, it’s packed, but at least it’s packed with tourists and Hanoians alike. Service was very good. It was efficient despite there being about 300 diners there at any one time. They suggested dishes when they thought you’d made the meal unbalanced, and no one has offered to peel my prawns at the table for a very long time. The food was good and the cost very reasonable.

Green Tangerine, 48 Hang Be, Tel: +84 4 3825 1286

I’m a bit sentimental about the Green Tangerine. I’ve been going since it opened in 2003. Its quirky French/Vietnamese fusion works pretty well, the presentation is interesting and I’ve never taken anyone there who hasn’t enjoyed their food and the styling of the restaurant. It’s expensive for a restaurant in Hanoi, but nowhere near Metropole pricing. Sitting inside or out, it’s a great little oasis, especially at lunch time.

One of the houses in Thanh Chuong Palace

Thanh Chuong Palace, Hien Ninh Commune, Day Dieu, Keo Ca Dam, Soc Son Town, Tel: +84 043 793 0667

We had lunch in the restaurant here after looking around the palace. It’s a quirky oddity of a place, and you wouldn’t expect the restaurant of a tourist attraction to serve great food, but our lunch was very tasty, with really generous portions. We enjoyed it sitting out on the terrace overlooking one of the many ponds.

I highly recommend visiting the palace as part of a half-day trip out of town. Exotissimo teamed it with a visit to the Giong Temple which was also beautiful. I rate these guys highly having had their guides in Thailand a couple of weeks ago during a trip on the Anantara Dream in Bangkok, and had friends use them to great success in Laos.

It’s safe to say that we ate well within our comfort zone in Hanoi. We were considering the sensitivities of our guests so were eating only upscale and super-safe.

That said though, apart from The Spices Garden we really did enjoy our food, and I’m looking forward to going back to Hanoi again soon and getting lowdown and local on the pavement.

Nahm Bangkok – food to get on a plane for

2012-04-27T06:49:06Z

Review:

I don’t need much of an excuse to bob down to Bangkok for a weekend from Hong Kong. Who does when you have great shopping, awesome food and cheap massages just 2.5 hrs away?

However, the excuse I’ve been using most for the past couple of years, is that when a movie I particularly want to see opens there before Hong Kong it is permissible for me to go to my favourite cinema to watch it – the wonderful Enigma Shadow Lounge in Siam Paragon.

Now though, I have a new excuse: I have to go to Bangkok because I need to satisfy my addiction to David Thompson’s food.

I ate in Nahm at the Halkin in London a few year’s ago and enjoyed it, but wasn’t blown away. However, having found out more about David Thompson since then and on discovering he’d be opening a restaurant in Bangkok, I had an inkling that with access to the full range of fresh indigenous ingredients, he might do wonders.

After an abortive attempt to go to Nahm in early 2011, twice this year I’ve been to Bangkok, and twice I’ve flown earlier in the day so that I can get to Nahm for dinner. Yes, it’s one of the most expensive restaurants in Thailand, and yes it’s in a hotel (the Metropolitan), and yes, the chef is a farang, but by crikey he puts together some mouthwatering food! This guy has really nailed it.

Now, we all know that the delight of eating in Thailand is that you can get the most wonderful food from the most humble of restaurants and food-stalls. But for a long time it’s been exasperating that there hasn’t been a really exciting restaurant in the capital pushing the envelope of Thai cuisine. The only difference between a good cheap restaurant and a good expensive restaurant was the decor, the wine list, and the lighting.

The chef and the magic:

Thompson is an Aussie who first visited Thailand some 20 years ago and moved there a year later after being utterly seduced by the place. He was very lucky to meet a lady called Sombat Janphetchara whose family worked in the palace, and who had somehow been taught the intricacies of palace cuisine.

The basis of Thai cuisine is its pastes – the marrying together of the vast array of herbs, spices and aromatics in ideal proportions to produce the taste you want, is an art not a science. This is why you will see many of the same dishes on the menu in the north of Thailand as down in the south, but the flavours are very different because they use different ingredients in different proportions in their pastes.

David Thompson seems to possess an extraordinary gift for creating wonderfully complex flavour profiles in his dishes that reveal themselves in stages through each mouthful, and it’s all because of Sombat Janphetchara teaching him how to use herbs and aromatics with extreme care, presence of mind and unending patience.

And that’s it really. That’s what makes eating his food a startling pleasure. I don’t think I’ve eaten a meal where I’ve wanted to concentrate on each mouthful as much as I have at Nahm.

The best chefs in the world almost universally place a number of different elements on a plate that together create a balanced flavour profile for the dish. You pick a little of this, with a little of that and a bit of another to put on your fork to eat, or you have to eat the different elements in turn in a suggested order to experience the flavour that the chef wants to impart.

Not so with David Thompson’s food. The most you will have is a dip, the rest of that flavour profile is just sitting there in the bowl or the plate, innate in the curry, the salad or the parcel before you. That’s the clever part. That’s the magic.

The decor and ambience:

There’s not much point in going into details about the restaurant’s styling. You come here for the food not for the very standard, could-be-anywhere-hotel-breakfast-room decoration. The ambience can often be rowdy. There are many people who dine here for celebrations and it can get rather noisy on weekend nights, so ideally I’d suggest going on a weekday.

Service:

The initial front of house service can be maddening. Once the food starts arriving it’s been absolutely fine, but to begin with you can easily be forgotten. Stay on the waiters if you feel you have been overlooked just once, and persevere as the food is worth it.

Having said that, the service the last time I went was impeccable, but that might be because I noticed the note “Take Care!” by my name in the reservations book. Why that’s there is another story, but one with ultimately a happy ending…

Choosing your food:

There are some intense flavours in the menu and to get the best out of the meal make sure that you choose dishes that will balance each other.

We were so excited the first time we ate at Nahm that we ordered a lot of the more unusual, pungent and rampantly hot items, and ended up a little overwhelmed by the flavour punches, (there is no manipulation of heat here; if a dish should be fierce with chilli, then fierce it shall be). The second time we went we chose more carefully and created a more satisfying overall meal, rather than just opting to try as many new things as possible.

There is one starter that absolutely no one should go without and sets the tone for the rest of the meal, and that’s the grilled mussel skewers.

Drinks:

There’s a good list of interesting cocktails and a very adequate wine list. I’m used to just plumping for beer with most Asian cuisine, but the sommelier was informed and helpful and we ended up with a Thai wine from Monsoon Valley, which was very decent.

Price:

You can eat à la carte or opt for a menu that gives you the option of choosing one dish from each of the sections – a relish, a salad, a soup, a curry and a stir fry along with a taster of every one of the starters. This menu costs 1700THB++ (US$55) per person which is a complete bargain in my book, but drinks prices are up there with every other 5* hotel in Bangkok, so it can add up. Overall I think Nahm is great value given the quality of the food.

Location:

Ground Floor, The Metropolitan Hotel, Sathorn Tai, Bangkok. Tel: 02-625 3333. It’s next to the Banyan Tree, so if it’s your first time in Bangkok go to Vertigo before or after for drinks.

Summary:

Ignore the service and the decor, insist on a table in a quiet corner when booking and concentrate on the food.

I have no hesitation in saying that Nahm, without doubt, serves the best food in Bangkok at this point in time, and it’s because of David Thompson’s intense passion and deep respect for his adopted home’s food and culture.

Rome: A few quick tips

2012-03-05T01:24:22Z

Well, I’m just back from spending a week in Rome, and I thoroughly enjoyed strutting around as a tourist. This isn’t something I do very often, I must admit.

Usually when I travel I’m either working or doing my damnedest not to look like a tourist. Standing on a street corner looking perplexed map in hand and a camera slung round my neck? Not I (thank god for smartphones).

But then I got to Rome and realised that as I would be walking pretty much everywhere paying HK$168 a day data-roaming charge just to use Google maps was probably not worth it, and if I didn’t have my camera slung round my neck, I’d be diving into my bag so often to get it I would end up with a repetitive strain injury.

Will post proper reviews later, but here are some tips:

Go to Rome in late winter/early spring. The weather was perfect, the skies clear, the humidity low and the temperature a cool 14 °C to a balmy 19°C. We never queued for a single museum, and even the Vatican wasn’t crowded.The idea of wandering the narrow streets of the Centro Storico with a million other people in the height of summer makes me feel queasy.

If you’re not fussed about 5* service, then seriously consider renting an apartment. There are lots of good apartments if you take the time to look, and they are very reasonably priced for the size when compared to the tiny hotel rooms in most of Rome’s hotels.

Do try and get on the Vatican Scavi Tour. It was fascinating, and one of the highlights.

If you don’t get to the Collesium, don’t worry – it’s like the one in Gladiator, but rather a mess, and the centurions and caesars outside lower the tone rather drastically.

Do go to the Roman Forum and the Palatine Hill – the context it gives you after learning about the Romans so many god-damn times in school makes you wince at the superficial knowledge your teachers imparted.

Don’t miss the Pantheon – it’s extraordinary. Even if you only want to go because you saw it during Angels and Demons once you see it and learn a bit about what it actually is, you’ll be truly impressed.

The Aventine Hill is a chilled place to watch the sunset over the roofs of Rome, and you can also pop along to peep through the keyhole of the gate to the Malta Knight’s old HQ.

Sorry to say, but the taxi drivers are some of the most obscene swindlers I’ve ever experienced. Pick up a Roma taxi guide at their booth at the airport before you leave it so you know what you should and shouldn’t be paying for, and be on the lookout for the switching of banknotes when paying.

Much of the food we ate was pretty damn average and on the expensive side. Rome seems to be completely stuck in the past and even it’s modern variations on trad dishes still seem old fashioned. Do your research before you go as you could end up mightily disappointed. The nights Mrs H cooked at the apartment were some of my favourite meals as the ingredients on offer are fabulous.

Bring your walking legs as the metro and buses are only good for certain sights, and you’d miss so much by not scooting down the smallest of alleys.

Finally, buy the Blue Guide, and not just the concise one but the big tome. The Blue Guides focus overwhelmingly on history and culture rather than shops, restaurants and hotels, so in a city like Rome it is an absolute must.

Stuff looking like a geek, it’s more important to know what the hell you’re looking at when faced with the latest unnamed Roman ruin you happen across in an alley, or a statue that could be a Bernini or a Canova. I have the internet for the latest and best hotels, bars and restaurants, whereas history doesn’t change quite so quickly.

Ho Chi Minh – Maxing a weekend from HK

2011-12-19T03:16:20Z

Now that my rehab is over from being fitted with the most technologically advanced bionic limbs and a new eye that gives me more functionality than a iPhone 4, I can once again get back to my job and start traveling again.

So, recently it was a trip to Ho Chi Minh – this is going to be a long post, but hopefully it’s got lots of helpful stuff: online visa application, best flights from HK, hotels, restaurants, clubs an bars, shopping gems, trips and massages.

I don’t remember much about Ho Chi Minh the first time I went – delerium had set in after I’d managed to pick up something nasty during a hunt for gem smugglers in Quy Chau back in ’95.

Suffice to say that the place is completely different now than it was 15 years ago, when it was all bicycles, nón lá’s and Australian NGOs.

I’ve traditionally been a monstrous fan of Hanoi so have spent far more time in that city over the last few years, but I thought it was time to give HCM another shot, and a very pleasant weekend was had too.

Getting there (from HK):

Flights:

United Airlines offer a fantastic option to max your time in HCM on a weekend from HK.

UA869 leaves HK at 20:40 getting you in around 22:00

UA862 leaves HCM at 06:15 getting you back to HK around 09:50, which means you can be in the office by 11am, which is perfect.

At that time in the morning in HCM it takes 20mins to get to the airport from the centre of town so it’s not too brutal a wake-up call if you’re checked-out, packed and ready to go.

At HCM on the way back we paid US$39 each for extra legroom and ended up on the front row of economy class, which meant we could dash off the plane and into work in the quickest possible time.

Visas: We tried the online visa service by www.myvietnamvisa.com.

This was convienent and good value and the approval letter arrived within 48 hours.

I thought I was being terribly smart by using this service, but once we landed in HCM and sauntered off the plane to immigration, it became apparent that at least 80 other people had had the same bright idea, and so there we sat in immigration for over an hour, waiting for our visas to be processed.

Unless I really can’t get my passport down to the consulate here in HK the next time I plan to go to Vietnam I won’t use this service, as it was no fun hanging out in the airport until well past 11pm after a long day in the office.

Things to know if you decide use the online service:

1) Your visa approval letter will contain a bunch of other names that have nothing to do with you. They process the visa applications in batches of up to 20 at a time, just ignore these other names and check that yours are on there.

2) Run, elbow, trip and barge your way to immigration from the plane to try and be at the front of the queue for visa processing (it’s on left of the immigration hall). It should then only take 15-20 mins.

3) They do take multiple currencies not just US$ and dong (as it says at the counter). We paid in HK$ and although it was a fairly steep exchange rate, there are no ATMs around so you don’t have a choice.

Hotels:

HCM should be bursting at the seams with beautifully refurbed deco hotels, but for some reason this is not the case.

The place is chockablock with the raw materials, but all of them seem to be state run. So establishments like the Continental, the Rex, the Majestic, and the Grand to name but a few, are absolutely horrendous. Your options therefore, are to stay 5-star brand name, or to go 3-star and below townhouse, otherwise you’ll just be frustrated by what these wonderful old hotels ought to be like.

We stayed high-end in the Park Hyatt in District 1 (centre of town), and it was fine rather than excellent. However, there are so many tiny, friendly, cheap and clean little townhouse hotels in District 1 that until a truly interesting boutique/heritage hotel opens I’ll stay in one of those.

Next time we would probably stay somewhere like the Catina as it’s slap bang on Dong Khoi, which is a good little street for shops, bars and restaurants, and has in-room wifi.

Quan An Bistro

All of the ones below are in District 1, and oh my lord, how cheap it is to eat! The only time we spent over US$40 for the two of us was in Square One in the Hyatt.

Like Thailand though, it’s likely that the best meals you can have are just at the most local, plastic-stool-type hawker stalls, which are dotted around the place. Don’t be shy, just point at what you like the look of, or ask another diner what’s good. English and French are pretty widely spoken by young (English) and old (French).

There are a bunch of what I call Heritage restaurants in HCM, in villas or old houses, sporting antiques, dark woods and a slightly colonial feel. The ones we tried were:

Tib – 187 Hai Ba Trung - This place is highly recommended in every guide I looked at inexplicably as it’s way, way past it. Avoid.

Quan An Bistro - 71/5 – 71/6 Mạc Thị Bưởi (083.8258275) – down an alley off Mac Thi Buoi in an old town house.

Service was good and the food was really decent. Enjoyed it muchly and the staff were friendly. Looks much better in real life than on some of the websites I’ve seen.

Temple Club - 29–31 Ton That Thiep.

Enjoyable meal – food was good and the decor stylish. Better known as a relaxed lounge bar, it’s best to go for an early dinner as the nightclub down the street’s bass post-9pm was so strong the light-fittings jingled the entire meal.

Others:

Square One - in the Park Hyatt. Very good food but glad we only went for lunch. The most pricey at US$60 for two, and a bit 5-star pompous.

Au Parc – 23 Han Thuyen St, (08-829-2772) – Cute French bistro open from breakfast through dinner time, on the park near the old post office and cathedral etc.

3A3 Bun Bo Hue – 39A Ngo Duc Ke Street in District 1, (38 293 526) – but has branches all over the place. Canteen style, packed for lunch, great food and good value.

There are loads of restaurants in HCM and lots recommended that we’ll try next time we go. We just wanted to get a handle on the centre of the city so we didn’t go outside District 1. We’ll leave those assaults for future trips.

Cafes with WIFI:

There are coffee joints and cafes all over the shop. Highlands Coffee still seems to be the most pervasive, and has free WIFI which was very useful as most mobile providers don’t have cheap data passes to Vietnam yet.

Bars/Clubs:

It seems that a fair amount of fun can be had in HCM at night. If you’re gay, then it seems you can have even more!

Liquid Club - 104 Hai Ba Trung – We kind of outdid ourselves on our first night out by running across Liquid on Hai Ba Trung.

It was the first club we passed on our way back into town from Tib, and who were we to resist the lure of a four storey blue neon festooned club with paramilitary bouncers outside it? T’would have been churlish not to explore.

The other clubs we visited after that were tame, snooty or a little bit dull in contrast.

It’s a happy house/techno club that seems to be very popular with locals and not so with expats. It was packed with cognac swilling tattooed gangsters in caps, surrounded by stunning six-footers, and office-workers celebrating birthdays (we knew this because we were subjected to a techno rendition of Happy Birthday at least five times in three hours).

There were scantily clad GaGa styled dancers and a slew of “PR” girls all in yellow making sure the punters weren’t lonely. Waiters were easy to spot in snazzy white-tie with turquoise trimmings, and security were even easier to spot in fatigues and berets.

The laser show was retina burning, bamboozling and skirted on the edge of inducing some kind of Ipcress Files breakdown. We were completely deaf when we tumbled out. Masses of fun, with absolutely no edge to the atmosphere.

Q Bar – Hasten then to Q Bar, under the Opera House which is touted as the most sophisticated bar in town. We hit it quite late on in the night and weren’t at all impressed.

Inside it was clubby, snooty, and very obviously where all the most knife-edge of gays decide to hang out. There’s nothing more cool about being gay than being straight. It doesn’t mean you have to pose, sneer and scowl at the heterosexuals because they decide they too fancy a bit of a dance and a drink. To be fair it seemed to be the fags’ hags that were most hostile. Maybe my shoes offended them, or they thought I was going to steal their bangles.

Outside was more chilled and welcoming.

Villa - 2/F 131 Dong Khoi St – We then headed out again into the night and heard pounding bass from a darkened 2nd floor premises. This was small, dark and super gay. Thoroughly friendly, and fun with none of the bitchiness of Q, but the music was not quite as daft as Liquid.

Go2 Bar - De Tham Street – We spent a few hours down on De Tham street sitting in the street side cafes. Great backpacker watching and very relaxed despite the mopeds and general street craziness.

I don’t usually have any interest in hanging out in places where the tourists wear their luggage on their backs and Tevas on their feet, but this was actually pretty fun. Go2 had a great corner location which was marvelous for viewing the general goings-on and it has a pool table. Crazy Buffalo is a huge 4 storey club that’s opened recently opposite and looks quite wild, a least from the outside.

Shopping:

The real standout store for me was Verlim. They are an interior design outfit that also sell their own designs of lighting, objet d’art, restored and new furniture as well as paintings, carpets and upholstery.

With a strong Belle Époque influence it’s no surprise that Verlim has been commissioned by the likes of David Tang for pieces in his establishments.

Their style is right up my strasse.

You can find them at 41 Ho Tung Mau St., District 1, Ho Chi Minh City Tel: (84.8) 8211655

There’s also a couple of outlets of Ipa-Nima, Christina Yu’s handbag and accessories store. I still have a real soft-spot for her whimsical designs that are handmade in the country. There’s branches at The New World Hotel at 76 Le Lai Street, and also at 85 Pasteur Street.

Not for the PETA members amongst my readers, but Viet Thanh has some really good value leather handbags and accessories in croc, ostrich and snake. Some of the designs are rather old fashioned, but there’s also some classic styles that will never date.

Silk and embroidered goods are the other popular buys in Vietnam. I’m not a huge fan of Vietnamese silk, I prefer Thai and Laotian styles, but for embroidery they can’t be topped. There are tonnes of embroidery stores, which sell everything from Christmas napkin and tablecloth sets through duvets and kid’s clothing. You’ll find them all over District 1, and there’s not one which stood out over the others for me particularly. Kitsch but very cute.

Massage:

We had a good few massages around town. We particularly enjoyed My Spa at 15C4 Thi Sach Street, tel 0989 973 309. I also rather liked the Lotus Tea served in all the massage palours. I’d never come across it before.

Street Crime:

Fortunately I have never been the victim of violent crime in Asia. It does happen, but in general I think SE Asia is very safe.

However, do hold onto your handbags girls in Ho Chi Minh. I always have mine clamped under my arm and over my shoulder on a short handle, and always zipped up.

Right in front of The Park Hyatt at 2:30am on a Friday night a foreign girl walking a few paces in front of me was mugged by two guys on a moped. At first we thought he was just going too fast through a traffic light and was on a course to hit her and we all started shouting, then we saw he had grabbed her satchel strap which was round her neck and pulled her to the floor. We raced towards them shouting and the pillion passenger let go, but not before the girl had suffered a pretty nasty injury. We made sure she got to a clinic and she was fine, but it shook me a little as it was a violent assault rather than an opportunistic slash and grab.

Apart from that, Ho Chi Minh was a lot of fun – the locals are genuinely friendly, the food is fantastic, the shopping is good and there’s too much to see and do to get even slightly bored

My only disappointment (much like Hanoi), is that there is a dearth of good boutique hotels, and I have literally no idea why this should be. Hopefully this will change sometime soon.

The Garth Hotel, Grantown, Scotland

2011-10-15T07:17:56Z

It’s unusual for me to be in Scotland as a tourist, so the past few days have been an absolute delight. In the Highlands almost every bend in the road reveals another breathtaking vista, and we had the perfect weather for touring – strong winds that produced roiling clouds, localized showers and startling sunshine. We stayed on the edge of the Cairngorms, in the Trossachs and finally in Edinburgh and we received some wonderful hospitality.

The Garth Hotel, Grantown on Spey

Our Coutt’s World concierge suggested this small hotel in Grantown, as it’s recognized as having a rather good little restaurant. We turned up unannounced and managed to grab the last of the 18 bedrooms, and although we were right above reception meaning a little bit of noise first thing in the morning, we had the strongest wifi signal in the building.

Rooms

The rooms were unexpectedly well appointed if I’m honest. Newly refurbed, they were cosy, nicely styled and had bright bathrooms with heated towel rails (important in somewhere like Scotland). The double beds were just standard double-sized so pretty small, but there were comfortable.

Service

The front of house staff were delightful.

Food

A mix of cuisines at dinner, but a lot of solid Scottish fare with quality local ingredients. The smoked salmon was real good, but it was the melt-in-the-mouth smoked mackerel that was truly delicious. We had beef and game hotpot, steak and some great cheese too.

Breakfast was the star of the show though. Once you’ve started off the day with a full Scottish of that standard you’ll want to do it every morning.

Drink

A good selection of Speyside whiskeys as you would expect, some local beers and a modest wine list.

Price

We paid a very reasonable GBP45 per person for bed and breakfast. It was the last room they had and gave us a bit of a discount, which was a nice and unnecessary touch.

Location

Castle Road, Grantown-on-Spey, Morayshire, Scotland, PH26 3HN. Tel: 01479 872 836, email: reception@garthhotel.com

Summary

If I was ever in Grantown again, I wouldn’t bother looking for another hotel, I’d definitely go straight to the Garth – it’s homely, comfortable and delightfully styled.
We poked our noses in at another couple of hotels and were not tempted. The Craiglynne Hotel was full of coach parties, and whilst I do love old-people, I don’t want to feel like I’m staying in a care home. The other was the Grant Arms, which was rather more outwardly striking than the Garth, but the rooms weren’t up to much.

Ritz Carlton, Tosca: An unholy mess of a restaurant

2011-10-12T13:59:01Z

Review:

The poor chef at the Ritz Carlton’s Italian eatery Tosca must have been gutted when he first saw his restaurant space.

Usually a chef will at least be able to rely on the decor and ambiance of his restaurant to enhance his diners’ experience, and help balance out any glitches in the food. Here at Tosca, the food was going to have to be unfailingly excellent to keep patrons’ eyes and minds off the shockingly awful interior design.

Unfortunately, the food was not quite able to stand up to the task.

First things first.

The Space: There is no way you will every forget you are in a hotel restaurant here. It’s a giant hall of a place. The one feature I did like was an absolutely enormous silver chandelier. However, once you see the chandelier you then have to look at the ceiling above it, and you realize that whomever the designer was, they forgot about the ceiling and left it looking like the roof of a conference centre. Sloppy.

Interior Design: I am just not eloquent enough to describe the sheer atrociousness of the restaurant interior. The closest I can get to is that it resembles the absolute worst of China’s super-sized sauna lobbies. Everything is an assault on the eyes. There is not one thread of coherence running through the entire space.

There were blue neon lights, red standard lamps, turquoise glass water features, turquoise glass wall panels, brown marble floors, wooden paneled fascias, fret-work ceiling panels, chromed wine-fridges, black banquettes, red and gold striped chairs, purple glass tableware, spangly reflective ornamentation and grey linen table cloths.

The number of different textures, colours and materials used was just mind boggling.

Pet Peeve: The seats. There a number of banquettes running the width of the restaurant serving around six tables each. Because they are not attached to the floor and are lightweight, this means that when any of the other people sitting on it tap their feet or push against it in any way, every other dinner has to endure their seat moving too. I spent my entire meal lightly vibrating because the woman sitting on the next table was continually tapping her heel on the floor whilst pushing back into the banquette.

Service: Efficient bordering on over-efficient. After ten minutes I had to stop the waiters from topping up our water glasses after every single sip.

Also, even though my companion and I were in the full flow of conversation, every time they put a dish down and we’d thanked them for it, and then re-started our conversation, the waitress would proceed to talk over us to introduce the dish – she showed absolutely no discretion in deciding whether it was an appropriate thing to do.

If I’m having a tasting menu multiple courses long, then this kind of thing can be useful. When I’ve chosen what I’ve ordered and it amounts to two dishes, I don’t need to reminded what it is as though I have the mind of a goldfish. Just back off.

Food: Modern Italian, there was plenty for us to choose from that sounded good.

Unfortunately, my starter was rubbish. It was meant to be artichoke velouté with a crispy egg and black truffle shavings. Not one element of it had been seasoned and the whole thing was just a cloying gruel. I suspect that the truffle was either not ripe or old as it had no scent and no flavour. Not a good start.

My sea bass main came, and was raw. Don’t get me wrong, I often enjoy fish rare, but literally half the fish was uncooked and stone cold.

The replacement fish arrived after my companion had finished his main course, but was very tasty and beautifully cooked when it finally did come. Served on a spring onion fondant and with buffalo mozzarella, it was an unusual combination that I enjoyed.

My companion was luckier: he had a tasty onion soup to start and a very good piece of steak for his main.

So, unfortunately the food was rather a mixed bag.

Drink: There’s a good selection of wine by the glass, and the Sardinian red that my companion had was very good.

Price: We paid $1688 for two with the only booze being one glass of wine. I expect those prices in a 5-star hotel, but then I also expect the food to be faultless and the decor to not be channeling Katie Price’s subconscious.

Location: The Ritz Carlton, above Elements Mall, part of the ICC building in West Kowloon. 1 Austin Road West, Kowloon, Hong Kong. Tel: (852) 2263 2263

Summary: Wild horses wouldn’t drag me back for dinner.

Note: I’ve realized from looking at photos on the internet what the issue with the interior is. The design is actually fine in daylight (although those water features are still vile), it’s just at night that everything falls apart. Look at the photo in daylight through the link here and you’ll see what I mean.