Steve preparing to kick it sardine style inside a taxi

What makes traffic bad here in Africa? The Taxis. A typical taxi here is like a minivan, except with 30 people inside. Not that 30 people is the limit, because there is always room for one more. Taxis are also usually poorly maintained (Read: needs a push to get started and brake pads are an optional extra). Most taxis have an assortment of dents to show for the lack of maintenance and driving ethos. With these things cruising around you never have a dull moment on the road.

Now both Lusaka and Kampala have lots of taxis. However, there are two big differences, I believe, in driving in these places. One is the speed. Lusaka is messy, but usually slow. Sometimes very, frustratingly slooooooow. This means accidents are not as dangerous as in Kampala. Slow never seems to be an option in Kampala. If you are a pedestrian, then crossing the road always seems like bungee jumping with dental floss. Not fun at all.

Why did the missionary cross the road? I don't know but I hope it was worth his near-death experience!

The other big difference between these cities is the Boda-boda. These things are legendary to anyone who has ever visited East Africa. They are a small motorbike, a lot like the Trail 110 bike my dad and I rode on our hunting trips in my earlier years. In Lusaka, during heavy traffic, taxis will use up all the space between the other vehicles. However in Kampala, they seem to manage to fit the Boda-boda between those centimeter gaps that the taxis leave behind. When you combine all of this with the speed I mentioned earlier, it really makes for a ride of your life – literally.

I found all of this out the hard way. Waiting for my host to arrive one day I realized: class was about to begin and I wasn’t there. A bit of a problem since I was the teacher. By the time she arrived, we didn’t have time to catch a taxi so we took Boda-bodas instead. I don’t think anything could have prepared me for the breakneck speed we maintained while darting between all the big trucks, taxis, and cars. There were times I had to pull my knees in from the sides in order to keep my knee caps from getting completely smashed on the sides of a car. I also wondered if helmets were out of fashion, because no one seemed to be wearing any.

To top it all off, the driver of this rollercoaster on wheels began texting. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. So at that point, I just closed my eyes. When I opened them, we had arrived in one piece, which is a sure testimony that God is completely sovereign and extremely gracious. With a feeling of injustice I paid the drive (a dollar) and rushed into the classroom.

I now know why African’s are such prayer warriors. They get a lot of practice on Boda bodas.

Don't show this to my mom!

Step 1: purchase beans (if you can convince your already hard-working husband to wade into the busiest, grungiest outdoor market in town to purchase these beans, so much the better)

Step 2: put off moving the beans from the plastic carry bag to a sealed plastic container (coming up with a water-tight excuse for this such as “I had to make a cake for Friday night!” or “The kids had a really bad day” will be good for your morale in the long run)

Step 3: When you notice little bugs flying in and out of the bag, ignore them. After all, they’re probably just curious… and curiosity killed the cat so it has a fighting chance with winged insects too, right?? Logical, that’s me.

Step 4: when you finally decide to open the bag of beans, don’t bother to see what the insects have done to them. Simply soak overnight as usual.

The next morning:

The Evidence (or 'maybe a little TOO organic')

Step 5: After an overnight soak, observe the presence of small holes, larvae, and drowned insect carcasses. Congratulations! Your beans are pesticide free (hence the presence of pests!) If you are so unfortunate as to have whole, still edible, non bug eaten beans, I’m sorry, you are not a winner. Your beans were sprayed with pesticide.

(If you’re wondering if we still ate the beans, the answer is YES!)

(And by “we” I mean the dogs)

Lesson learned: ask if the beans have been treated with pyrethrum, the most common African treatment for dried beans and, ironically- ORGANIC! That or actually put the beans in a sealed container so the bugs can’t eat them……

The Worms Crawl In....

This is Part III of Olivia’s birth story (plus all those cute baby photos we just can’t get enough of!)

Part I and Part II

There’s something you should know about me. When it comes to labor, I’m picky. VERY picky. (Just ask poor Tim!) It’s beyond “Get me ice chips!”… and rather more like “IF YOU MAKE ME LIE DOWN I.WILL.STAKE.YOU!!!!” (I just assume that anyone who would do something so cruel as make an unmedicated laboring woman lie on her back MUST be a vampire or other-worldly monster of some kind). I spend hours preparing myself mentally and physically and make sure Tim has all the information and resources he’ll need to bring the baby safely into the world. What do I mean by unmedicated and no-intervention? My rules are simple: no drugs, no knives, no needles. Don’t get me wrong, we’d never stand in the way if Baby’s life was at stake… just don’t count on getting any scalpels near me to get an early lunch break, doc!

Ann Rachel and Page were my totally awesome doulas. I may have done something truly desperate without them!

When we interviewed the doctor at Fairview Hospital she assured me that she was completely happy to help me with a natural, unmedicated, no-intervention delivery. She even laughed at some of my questions as though to say, “Who would think of such a thing?” I figured since she was working in a second-world hospital maybe she was used to delivering babies the old-fashioned way.

WRONG!
(how does that saying go… when you assume, you make an… anyway:

Well, I could start ranting and raving or I can just summarize with a good “HUMPH, ARGH, GROAN, YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!!” Let’s just say if there was a procedure she could think of, a drug within reach, a possible opportunity to use those scary looking metal scissors, she tried to convince/coerce Timothy and me into letting her do it- to the point that she almost allowed the midwife to scoot in between Timothy and me and cut Olivia’s umbilical cord before she was born. Yup, you read that right: before she was born! I have never been so incredibly thankful for Timothy’s commitment to do what is best for our kids (and for the fact that he’s so big and intimidating in a tiny delivery room, haha!)

A successful, natural birth thanks to God's grace, Timothy's diligence, and the kind friendship of Ann Rachel and Page (and the bath definitely deserves some limelight)

Olivia Alice Keller was born at 6-something am on Saturday, January 21st, 2012. We were incredibly blessed- in spite of the doctor’s best efforts we had an unmedicated, no-intervention birth, a healthy baby, and a short hospital stay. At the end of the day, the only downside to her delivery was that I missed the one and only yard sale that ever happened in Kabwe. Drat. (I’m a real addict- I miss yard sales almost as much as Starbucks!)

one day old

Already preparing my “let me out after 24 hours” speech, I was flabber-gasted when they released me 3 hours after giving birth, provided we stay the night in Lusaka before traveling home to Kabwe. No problem! Get me out of here! We called some friends who manage a guesthouse just outside Lusaka and, unbelievably, it was EMPTY for the night so we got the whole place to ourselves: couch, bedrooms, coffee machine and all!

shortly after delivery

Thanks, everyone, for your prayers and encouragement. Olivia has been SUCH a “good baby” and is an incredible eater and night-sleeper already.

The lovely Keller ladies

Frederick with his 'Did-eeya'

a continuation of Olivia Alice’s birth story

Daddy's Hands

I’m not sure it was the most relaxing birthday celebration Tim ever had… but it might be the most memorable! In between bites of steak he continued trying to convince me to get in the car. However I was perversely determined to enjoy every minute of his birthday party… even if he wasn’t! Eventually Christel (our neighbor and one of my best friends) kindly told me that if I didn’t put myself into the car, she was ready to help Tim get me in there. (Afrikaans charm is very convincing.)

That left only one small detail… or rather two: our original plan for Monica and Frederick was to have my mom and Mary Jo watch them in Lusaka… but they hadn’t arrived yet! While any of our friends would have been happy to take them for us, I didn’t want to run off and leave them for a day or more in a home they didn’t know very well. While dragging me to the car, Christel offered to take the kids for as long as we needed. Since Monica and Frederick are pretty much convinced that ‘Dian’s house’ is their second home, leaving them there was a perfect solution. I was able to put Frederick to bed so at least he would have that much from mom (he’s a creature of habit, to state it mildly). When we told Monica why we were going she took my face in her hands and said, “Don’t worry, Mom! The doctor will make your tummy flat again!” Haha- just about what I needed to hear right then!

Monica is convinced that she's the best thing that ever happened to Olivia

We finally pulled out of the gate around 8pm. We picked up Ann Rachel and Page on our way out of town. They had been “on call” while Timothy was in South Africa, should I go into early labor and need a ride and help in the hospital. I asked them if they’d still like to go along and lucky for us they said “yes!” Driving to Lusaka in the dark can be treacherous. On that particular night we only dodged four drunks and two un-lit, broken down trucks in the middle of the road- not too bad for a Friday night! Tim was torn between driving carefully (a cautious night drive to Lusaka can easily take over three hours) and flooring it to avoid a road-side delivery. Always the safe driver, he didn’t take any unneccessary risks: and the biggest risk on his mind was delivering Olivia in the middle of nowhere! We made it in very good time.

I was checked in quickly and because I was the only laboring woman in the hospital, I got the whole labor ward to myself- woohoo! As my contractions were down to every 5 minutes and had been regular for the last 4 hours we didn’t anticipate a long wait. That is, until the “midwife” on duty did such a rough exam that I was left in tears. My only consolation was that my failed attempt to get a good foot print on her chest seemed to relay a “get off me!” kind of message. That exam set me back to every 20 minutes and it took FOUR HOURS to get back to 5 minute contractions. Ann Rachel made sure “midwife” was too scared to come back for a good long time!

Note the 'Keller nose'

Around midnight the doctor arrived and tried to convince me that I needed to have my water broken- this would mean no soak in the tub. Um… don’t think so, SORRY. Ann Rachel made sure the tub was clean (catching the cleaning lady wipe the inside of the toilet and then the bath tub was one of those moment’s in Africa where you realize that, well, you are in Africa!) The water was nice and hot and I stayed right there for over four hours. I must have transitioned during that time becuase I don’t remember most of it!

I never intended this to become a mini-series but my pillow is my siren and my muse fell asleep in spite of the second cup of coffee……..so…… zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (to be continued…. again… lame, I know)

Olivia, at 6 weeks old, sleeps 'well' at night and is generally a cheerful little monkey

I know this post is looooooooooooong overdue. As you probably have guessed, I haven’t had any free time lately because I’ve been enjoying extra-long naps and leisurely baths…. haha. NOT.

Olivia made her early arrival on Saturday, January 21st at 615am, weighing 7lbs. I later commented to Timothy that her birth was much less dramatic than Frederick’s. He responded with a resounding, “Maybe for YOU!” and took another much deserved nap. You see, Olivia’s early arrival- two weeks early- made for a rather LONG day for her dear Daddy.

Throughout January Tim tried to pull together a supply trip to South Africa. Because of circumstances beyond our control, his trip was pushed to what we felt was the last possible opportunity before he needed to be close to home for the arrival of Baby. After a stressful but successful trip to South Africa, Timothy returned to Zambia on January 20th. His plane arrived at noon, he spent the afternoon at the immigration office in Lusaka, and made the two hour high-stress drive home to Kabwe, arriving around 5pm.

I’d had a fairly pleasant day (all things considered). I took the kids to play with some friends earlier in the day. On the way home I was going a leeeeeeeeetle too fast down our VERY bumpy, be-potholed road. I hit one of the ruts pretty hard (don’t tell Tim) and then felt that oh so familiar twinge… ok more like a kick from a mule, in my lower back. I slammed on the brakes, pulled to the side of the road, and thought to myself, “That was totally a fluke.” (Tim is convinced that labor hormones take away my ability to think reasonably.) Eventually I got the kids down to nap and after an unsuccessful pilates attempt to stop the contractions I decided to take a nap. No luck there. The contractions woke me up every time (that’s supposed to be a sign, right? Well remember Tim’s theory about my brain and labor!) I decided starting dinner would distract my mind enough to make the “false labor” disappear. Tim’s birthday had been a few days before, while he was in South Africa, and I had a few finishing touches for his cake.

Tim walked in the door around 5. I had been tracking my contractions since 4 and was starting to believe ‘this might be it’ as I saw that the contractions were not only regular, but less than 7 minutes apart. Not wanting to distract from Tim’s birthday, I let the kids give him his presents and welcome him home. Once he had settled down I put on my best optimistic-face and announced, “Well, now that you’re home, I should probably tell you that I don’t think it’s false labor.” His face could have cracked concrete, maybe even warped titanium. After a long, hard stare he just turned around and walked outside. He returned half a minute later and demanded, “you’re kidding, right?!” The fact that I had the far-off look of pain-denial was enough to make him realize I was contracting right then and there. His words were not of the uplifting sort.

He began pacing our 4 foot living room (that’s about 1 1/3 steps each way for a guy his size) wavering between throwing me in the back of the truck and flooring it to the hospital or setting up our bedroom for delivery. However, still unconvinced that I could actually be lucky enough to get out of 2-4 more weeks of being pregnant, I told him no way was I leaving before his birthday party! He tried to convince me that time was of the essence, even enlisted the help of all the friends who were arriving for our neighbor’s weekly cook out. I was immovable. The thought of making that two hour drive and not coming home with a baby was too embarrassing to contemplate. Besides, we had birthday steaks and a cake!

to be continued… (Olivia’s hungry!)

Monica and Frederick LOVE their new baby sister

As Monica would say: 'Dah, dah-dah, DAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!'

Our amazing crew has worked long and hard to get the building up and the roof on, and we are ALMOST there. Timothy is, even at this last minute, running around trying to source last minute materials that seem to have “walked away”, find a single extra roof sheet, etc. The way the weather has been the last few days, I think we’ll make it literally within a week of when the rains come down in their real tropical fury (you can see the clouds in the photo above!)

This is what the roof and weather were like a few days before Christmas

We’re thankful for the Lord’s grace in providing the funds, time, and labor to get the house this far. Please pray with us as we raise the funds to complete the inside of the building (plumbing, electrical, etc).

As we come into the last month of this pregnancy it is especially exciting to see that our home is coming along so well! Our prayer is to move in by May of 2012. Timothy plans to do most of the interior work himself as he has the time. Please pray for the Lord’s guidance as he works on these diverse projects!

We've been blessed with mild weather this month, which makes building a much easier task!

This is a very quick post as I dash madly from wrapping Christmas presents to canning tomato sauce to chasing an enterprising and cranky two year old (or ALMOST two year old) little man. Thanks for your continued prayers as we work here in Zambia and try to get our house built before the rainy season starts in earnest. While last night the rains certainly came down in all their tropical fury, by this morning it was clear and brick laying continued apace. God is good! Timothy has been juggling teaching, preaching, and his “run of the mill” missionary routine with helping the builders get the brick layout placed correctly. Needless to say, it’s been a VERY busy time for both of us!!
Here are some photos of the progress:

Getting all of the "courses" and corners laid out properly is the most time-consuming part of brick-laying (or so I'm told)

Once the corners are properly placed the bricks go up very quickly in between them.

Digging our septic tank

Frederick LOVES visiting the building site with his Daddy

The bricks are hand made, sun and kiln baked, 100% pure Zambian

After a difficult few weeks trying to get the foundation box filled in the intense October heat, our hard working friends have finished laying the slab and we get to watch the walls ascend! There have been quite a few logistical challenges along the way, though. We left for a camping trip on Friday and returned Monday to find the guys putting up the walls… with an upside down house plan. Out comes the sledge hammer, down go the walls. The next afternoon Timothy found them bricking in the doorway. Out comes the sledge hammer, down go the walls. Thursday saw the windows being bricked in and Friday the room walls being laid incorrectly- all this in spite of carefully plotted guideropes, stripes, etc. That being said, for every frustrating step back, these hard working Zambian builders are making big strides forward. We can now see our walls, windows, and doors… all exactly where they should be! We’re very thankful for Hannes, our “contractor” and the enterprising missionary training Zambians to be really good builders.

It's a jungle gym, right?

Timothy is also learning how to “tweak” building to suit the materials available in Zambia. Aside from the fact that EVERYTHING is done manually (including hand mixing all the cement for the foundation), a lot of the common western materials like drywall and… ready for this… bubble levels (I know, I know) aren’t readily available here. However, did you know they have an app for that?? That’s right, Tim is checking levels with his iPhone. The saying used to be “where the rubber meets the road”. I think more appropriate to this Age of Technology is “where there’s an app there’s a way”.

Never thought I'd say this... but... thanks, Apple!

Building Inspector in training

Weather and “finishing” funds permitting, we hope to move into our house around April or May of 2012. It will be wonderful to have a house big enough not just for the (by then) five of us, but also for the many and frequent guests who pass through our home (who at the moment graciously sleep on the couch, the floor, in tents on the lawn, or share the room Monica and Frederick already share). We will also be able to greatly expand our ministry capacity, as we’ll be able to bring the local people right into our home for ministry and practical training. At the moment our one large room is a living room/dining room/preschool room/food prep/Timothy office/childrens play room/Ashley’s workspace/sewing room/cheese factory……. it’s a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittle cramped.

We will still need $12-$15,000 to put in plumbing, electrical, floors, ceilings, bathtubs, etc. We’re trusting the Lord to provide in His time.

The guys at work filling the box for the foundation

Thank you so much for your prayers, encouragement and support as we embark on this exciting new development in our life and ministry!

Digging our well... by hand! Current depth is about 50 feet.

Our little girl in profile

At this point, we’re planning on delivering in Lusaka, rather than making the long trek to South Africa. There is a brand new hospital that appears to have standards (as opposed to most of the local hospitals that definitely do NOT). I’m really excited to be able to have our Little Girl so close to home! Lusaka is only two hours away, so we’ll be able to go home within a few days of her birth! Due date at the moment is February 5th, although I’m hoping for end January based on the previous Keller babies.

Please be praying for the continuing growth and development of our little girl 2.