Janice Dickinson, Courteney Cox or Cindy Crawford? [ICYDK]
Ryan Reynolds is back to looking gerbily. [INFDaily]
Victoria‘s Secret model quits because her body is the property of Jesus and her husband, of course. [The Blemish]
Here‘s Ryan Gosling in Thailand. [Evil Beet]
Naomi Watts‘ sons are just so BLONDE. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Paraminder Nagra is getting divorce. [CDAN]
Rick Santorum raised $1 million in 24 hours. [Jezebel]
Photos from The Heart Truth Red Dress event. [Moe Jackson]
Chelsea Handler talks about the abortion she had when she was 16. [The Frisky]
Radar pretty much calls Lindsay Lohan a hooker. [Radar]
Kris Jenner is the new face of a “sexual enhancer”. [Life & Style]
Preview of Adele‘s 60 Minutes interview. [PopBytes]
Kiki Dunst‘s Wonderland Mag pictorial. [Hollywood Rag]
Denise Richards joining RHOBH? [LimeLife]
Sofia Vergara wants to sell you some bras. Sold. [Celebs]
What happened to this poor puppy? I hope this wasn‘t on purpose. [CityRag]
Michelle Obama beat Jimmy Fallon in a fitness challenge. [Bitten and Bound]
House is over. Sad, except I stopped watching last season. [Starpulse]

I don’t even have the words to describe these photos. Lindsay Lohan was at the amFAR event in New York City last night, and these are some of the spectacularly cracked-out photos from the red carpet. Um. She gave herself bangs. AND SHE’S THE CRACKEN. Dear God, look at her face. Look at her bruised-looking eyes. Look at her nose. Look at her lips. Look at that fried white-blonde hair. Look at how she’s smiling and playing it all up for the cameras. She’s high as a kite and having her picture taken, so of course she’s happy. I guess technically this is a “fashion post” so we should mention her dress? I can’t even look past her face, though.

Lindsay has been front and center this week because of her TWO photo shoots with Terry Richardson, one for Love Magazine and one for… no apparent reason, other than LL was high at the Marmont and Terry wanted to take her picture. She looked especially dead-eyed and pathetic in those photo shoots, but these red carpet photos are a new low.

I also have to wonder – she still has a few months left on her probation, right? I wonder if she skipped out on morgue duty to come to New York just for this event? I wonder if she’ll stay in New York to party for a while too? Valentine’s Day is coming up. She’s probably got some “jobs” to do for some “clients”.

Photos courtesy of WENN.

“HOW GAUCHE.” – Dame Gwyneth

FINALLY. We finally get to hear about the baby gift Gwyneth Paltrow sent to her BFF Beyonce. I’ve been waiting for this! And I’m a little bit disappointed. Considering Blue Ivy Carter already has diamond earrings, a platinum bracelet, a sapphire-encrusted baby bottle and SIX NANNIES, I was expecting Blue’s mother’s best friend to really deliver something so spectacular, it would have put all of the peasantry to shame. Unfortunately, Gwyneth gave a gift that seems almost… normal. It’s really expensive, of course, but it’s also practical.

What kind of stroller did Beyonce get from pal Gwyneth Paltrow? A Bugaboo, naturally!

Paltrow was among the very first to tweet about the birth of her BFF Beyonce’s daughter Blue Ivy in early January — and the actress, 38, knew just what to gift the chanteuse and her bundle of joy.

Paltrow treated Beyonce and husband Jay-Z to an all-black Cameleon stroller by Bugaboo; the posh baby-transporter retails for $880. (As it happens, Beyonce, 30, scored one of many smash singles with Destiny’s Child in 1999 with the song “Bugaboo,” about a male suitor who just doesn’t know when to give up.)

Before Blue Ivy’s birth, Beyonce (who made her first post-baby appearance Monday and Tuesday in NYC) snapped up a $3500 NurseryWorks VETRO Lucite crib in NYC for her little one, born at 7 lbs Jan. 7 at Lenox Hill Hospital.

Blue’s crib and Bugaboo will fit right in with her extravagant nursery — a 2,200 square-foot space recently built in the superstar family’s Tribeca apartment.

[From Us Weekly]

Maybe Bey and Jay just like stuff in all black – I think all of their cars and SUVs are black too. Anyway, I don’t have a problem with Gwyneth’s gift. I doubt it will ever be used, though. Beyonce and Jay-Z will NEVER push little Blue Ivy down the sidewalk in some peasant-y stroller. Never.

Here’s Goop and Chris Martin (in the same frame!!!!!!) having dinner with one of Gwyneth’s other BFFs/mentees, Taylor Swift, in London a few weeks ago.

Photos courtesy of WENN, Fame/Flynet.

Yesterday, we covered Russell Brand’s refusal to take any of estranged wife Katy Perry’s millions during their current divorce proceedings. Most of you agreed that it was a smart move on Russell’s part regardless of his motivations, and I’m sure that he is looking quite forward to getting on with life without constant reminders of his wife’s cocaine lifestyle. Even though Russell just filed for divorce about six weeks ago, it seems like he and Katy have already been apart longer than they’ve been together. Of course, that has a lot to do with the fact that rumors of the relationship’s demise have been swirling since almost the beginning of their 14-month marriage. They were such a poor match from the very beginning.

Now Russell and Katy have finalized their divorce settlement and all property has been divided accordingly. Thank goodness there were no kids involved although the couple did adopt one cat together, so who knows what direction the poor feline will be headed. Naturally, Katy had to be all showy and “quirky” while signing the papers:

There’s no going back at this point.

Katy Perry, 27, and Russell Brand, 36, have reached a settlement in their divorce, Us Weekly can confirm. British movie star Brand filed for divorce on December 30 citing “irreconcilable differences.”

In court documents filed Tuesday and obtained by Radar Online, Perry and Brand said they “have entered into a comprehensive written settlement of all issues, including, without limitation, with respect to the property to be confirmed or assigned to each party.”

Brand will not be receiving spousal support from Perry, despite not having a pre0nuptial agreement. The “Firework” singer is worth an estimated $70 million, while Brand is valued at $20 million.

The former couple owned four properties in California, New York and London, totaling $15 million. The exes also have three cats: Her Kitty Purry, his Morrissey and, Perry once told Us, “together we got Krusty!”

Perry signed the court documents with a happy face next to her name — a sure sign that she’s ready to put her 14-month marriage behind her.

[From Us Magazine]

Indeed, Katy did sign the divorce papers (which you can see at The Mail) with a heart and happy face combo. Of course, that’s her standard autograph these days (and can be observed on many signed items currently on sale at eBay), but I’m sure Katy knew that the cute little smiley would be seen the world round once the papers were released. It’s probably her way of trying to show the world that she doesn’t care about getting divorced. Whatever, Katy.

At any rate, it looks like this (semi-)long nightmare of a marriage is finally over except for the requisite waiting period. Katy and Russell will be officially divorced on June 30. In the meantime, they can both resume their previous lives. He’ll be wearing increasingly ridiculous scarves, and she’ll get back to “partying” even though she never really stopped.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet and WENN

Reports have Aubry triumphant in last weeks’ court ruling, although Child and Family Services has been recommending he have supervised visitation for now. We’ve also heard that he’s been ordered to anger management classes, that counseling has been recommended for both Halle and Nahla, and that Halle and Gabriel have been advised to take parenting classes together. Here’s the latest story from TMZ:

Halle Berry is asking the judge in her custody war for permission to move to France with Nahla — and baby daddy Gabriel Aubry is saying … over my dead body.

TMZ has learned Halle filed papers with the court requesting the move and the hearing is pending. Sources tell us Gabriel is livid because he believes the move is punitive and designed to strip him of any contact with his daughter.

And Gabriel is particularly upset because Halle’s longtime boyfriend Olivier Martinez will be living with Halle and Nahla if the move is approved … informed sources tell TMZ.

Halle could have an argument that it’s safer for Nahla to be in Europe … especially because her latest stalker — who broke onto her property multiple times — has recently been released from jail.

[From TMZ]

That stalker argument is a weak one. We’re talking about Halle Berry, who can afford a state of the art security system and ’round the clock security guards. She can build a fence if she wants.

I was somewhat on Halle’s side when we first heard this latest news about Gabriel. It seemed like all those stories about his explosive temper might be true. Now I see the other side a lot more clearly. This is a petty move by Halle meant to pull rank and show Gabriel that she’s serious about keeping their daughter away from him. I wouldn’t put it past her to have pulled the nanny’s strings that led to this whole issue. I’m not saying that Gabriel isn’t to blame for his temper, or that he’s not as much in the wrong. It just seems like there’s much more to this story. I’m sure we’ll read the other side on Radar sometime today.

Gabriel is shown with Nahla on 2-3-12. Halle is shown picking Nahla up from school with the nanny on 2-2-12. Credit: WENN.com

Ugh, we have even more of Jennifer “Did You Know I Was Married To Brad Pitt?” Aniston’s InStyle cover story for the March issue. A few days ago, we had the early excerpts – of course she mentioned Brad, and how it’s totally a misconception that they’re in some kind of “feud” and that it’s all just a media conspiracy for profit. She also discussed Justin Theroux and how she totally did NOT change her style when they got together. Speaking of that exact thing, she also says she does want to change her style now that she’s with Justin. And of course, she discusses her diet and exercise plan.

Changing her style: “On the red carpet, it’s time for me to start doing something different. I play it very safe because I just want to be comfortable … if I could wear a jersey tank that went down to the floor, I would.”

Did she mention her hair yet? Here we go. “I’ve been thinking about dyeing my hair a dark brown. I feel it would be healthier.”

Justin’s style: ”He has great style. It’s very specific, and it has been his style forever. Has it influenced mine? No, but I know people say it has.”

Workouts: “I work out almost every day, at least five or six days a week. I do 40 minutes of cardio: spinning, running, the elliptical, or a combination of all three. Then I do Pilates one day a week, and I do yoga in addition to that, three days a week. I try to mix it up.”

Traveling workouts: “I take 8 pound weights with me whenever I’m staying in a hotel. It’s always good to do arm exercises when you’re watching television or talking on the phone. I also love to stretch before I go to bed, and usually throw in a couple of sit-ups.”

Diet: “Most of the time I eat things like salmon or other fish, quinoa, lentils, and green vegetables. You’re told to avoid fried food, but I don’t always. I had Mexican the other night and ate everything you can imagine! I also take Omega Cure liquid fish oil and resveratrol, which is supposed to be good for your heart.”

[From Radar & People Mag]

I’m not going to complain too much about these interview excerpts, mostly because she’s talking about stuff I wish she had been doing for years. She would look GREAT if she gave up the Real Housewife blonde and went for a rich brunette – it would make her eyes pop, and I think it would make her look younger too. I’d also love to see her change up her red carpet style. I get tired of her minidresses and LBDs. I know she’d be more comfortable in jeans and flip-flops (I’m that way too), but for a supposed “style icon” she rarely takes any fashion risks, and she rarely dresses in a way that compliments her figure in a classy way.

Photos courtesy of InStyle scans, WENN.

The latest issue of US has an article that suggests to me that Demi is not taking responsibility for her addictions, or at least that her family is still in denial about it. It squarely places blame on her ex Ashton Kutcher as somehow triggering Demi’s latest problems. Here’s part of US’ report:

Just one week [prior to Tallulah's 18th birthday party on February 3], [Demi], 49, checked into rehab, a source confirms to Us, to seek treatment for substance abuse and an eating disorder. “Her friends and family wanted her to get help,” says a Moore source. Now Bruce, 56, and Moore’s daughters, Tallulah, Scout, 20, and Rumer, 23, are holding accountable the one person they consider responsible for her troubles – her estranged husband, Ashton Kutcher. “Bruce and the girls hate Ashton,” says another insider close to the actress…

“Her family and friends are happy Ashton is out of her life…

“This think Demi’s breakdown is his fault.” (Another source counters that Rumer, who has visited Kutcher on the Two and a Half Men set postsplit, is still close to the actor.)…

[The friendship between Bruce and Ashton] “was all a show,” the source asserts of the Die Hard actor’s friendliness. “The hatred is long-standing.”

Still, Kutcher, 34, may have made himself too scarce in recent weeks. “Ashton hasn’t been there for her,” says another insider. The one time he went to her house after her hospitalization, she wasn’t even there. But another pal defends Kutcher: “He hasn’t seen her because he doesn’t want to give her the idea that he wants to get back together…”

“Bruce is concerned about Demi,” says a Willis soure. But even he is limited. His wife, Emma Heming-Willis, 33, who is pregnant with their first child, “doesn’t want to expose their baby to any of that drama,” says the source.

[From US Weekly, print edition, February 20, 2012]

I buy that Ashton was an ass to Demi and that he cheated on, lied to and left her. We have no idea what went on in that relationship behind closed doors, or how bad it was. It’s understandable that Demi’s family hates Ashton now. Ultimately Demi is responsible for herself, though. Plenty of women go through infidelity and public humiliation and deal with it in much healthier, constructive ways. Most of those women don’t have a fraction of Demi’s means or opportunities. This is a cop out by Demi’s people. She needs to get more distance from this before putting out the next planted story.

Family photos are from The House Bunny premiere on 8-20-08. Other photo of Demi is from 9-23-11. Credit: WENN.com. Ashton is shown out in LA on 1-3-12. Credit: LRR/FameFlynet Pictures

A month ago, Khloe Kardashian’s paternity drama went from “quiet” to “the topic that every media outlet was reporting.” It’s been widely believed that Khloe Kardashian is the one sister who isn’t really a Kardashian – that her biological father was not really Kris Jenner’s then-husband, Robert Kardashian. Robert Kardashian’s wives (after Kris) even told media outlets that Robert always “knew” Khloe wasn’t his bio daughter, and that Khloe herself knew/suspected it too. This caused everyone to speculate as to WHO Kris Jenner was screwing during the time of conception. OJ Simpson perhaps? Or some miscellaneous corporate LA dude?

Speculation has grown and grown, and then some outlets found photos of Kris Jenner’s long-time hairdresser, Alex Roldan, and the jig was up. Khloe looks remarkably like the older photos of Roldan. Oh, and Khloe’s middle name is “Alexandra” – perhaps because Kris knew Alex was the father? Anyway, Khloe’s half-sister Kylie Jenner tweeted the header photo yesterday with the tag, “First official photo of my sister and her dad! Like father like daughter!” When everyone was like, “OMG, that really is Khloe’s father,” Kylie then tweeted, “It was a joke everyone! Lol!” But is it a joke? Really?

Photos courtesy of Kylie Jenner’s Twitter.

Here are some new photos of the Duchess of Cambridge in London last night. She wore a “a double-breasted, 1950s-style dress by the high street clothing label Jesire” for her first solo public appearance as a royal – I like the outfit. She looks good in grey, and I think it was suitable for the occasion and the season. While she still needs to STOP with the eyeliner, her salon-fresh hair did seem more subdued, right? It’s not so “college girl sausage curls”. Or maybe I’m just getting used to it.

Anyway, the occasion was a preview of the Lucian Freud exhibition at the National Portrait Gallery. You might remember, the National Portrait Gallery is one of Kate’s five patronages (which took her more than a year to organize). The tour of Freud’s work took an hour, and I’m happy to report that Kate handled herself with grace. She didn’t mess up, she didn’t trip or scratch one of the Freuds. Incidentally, did anyone else read that fantastic article about Freud in Vanity Fair last month? Go here to read it – it’s a great piece about one of the great artists of the modern age.

Us Weekly has an article this week about how depressed Kate is now that William has left her for his Falklands military training. Here are some highlights from the piece:

William left on February 1, and “Kate misses him,” says a Kate source. “It’s difficult for any officer’s wife to have her husband away on duty.”

William’s absence comes as Kate, 30, begins an intensive round of princess boot camp. “Kate’s a working royal, and her first work will happen while William isn’t around,” says the Kate pal. “It’s the toughest time for her to be alone.”

While William is away, the Queen is advising Kate. A palace aide says, “They’ve become close. Her Majesty has done it all. There isn’t anyone who can give better advice. Her Majesty has helped Catherine learn the importance of engagements, and what’s expected of her when she starts to go out and meet the public by herself.”

“While William is away, Kate plans to do nothing but work,” says a palace source.

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Sure. I’m sure she “plans to do nothing but work” especially considering the palace has been trying to convince us she’s actually been working “hard” this whole time. In between shopping and hair appointments, of course. And sitting around, waiting for William to come home. And I really, really hope the whole “this is the toughest thing EVER” part of these stories is just editorial BS, made up out of whole cloth, and Kate isn’t really sitting around thinking about how tough she has it.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Angelina Jolie has been confirmed as a presenter for this year’s Academy Awards. I like it! She hasn’t presented at the Oscars in a long time. When was the last time? 2004? Yikes. She presented Best Director at the Golden Globes this year, but for the past half-dozen years or so, Angelina has avoided presenting at awards shows, even when she’s nominated. I don’t really know why – she never seems nervous in front of a crowd or anything, so my guess is that it’s just A) bad timing and B) she doesn’t want to. But now that she’s going to the Oscars simply as “the date” of a (multiple) nominee, Angelina thought she might be bored, so she decided to take the producers up on their offer.

The last time Brangelina went to the Oscars, it was 2009 and both Brad and Angelina were up for lead acting awards, he for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button and she for Changeling. The previous year, Angelina had been snubbed for a nomination for A Mighty Heart, and they made it a point to avoid going to the Oscars that year. In my opinion – and I have no proof to back this up – I’m guessing that Brad and Angelina have a standing invitation to present at every Oscar ceremony, regardless of whether they’re nominated. Producers simply want people to tune in, and more people tune in when Brad and Angelina show up.

Other presenters who have signed on thus far: Cameron Diaz, Halle Berry, Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, Jennifer Lopez, and the cast of Bridesmaids. It’s a good list. But I’m waiting to see if Jennifer Aniston gets added. Aniston famously showed up to present at the 2009 Oscars (with John Mayer, LOL) when Brad and Angelina were nominated, and Aniston has Wanderlust coming out THAT same weekend. Will she bring along her new John Mayer, Justin Theroux?

Here are some old photos of Angelina at previous Oscars. God, I still LOVE that Marc Bouwer dress. And I still think that black Elie Saab was beautifully tailored.

Photos courtesy of WENN.