Here are some photos of Rooney Mara in Dior at the Ain’t Them Bodies Saints premiere. I think this was a premiere just in general, not in competition for the Palme, either that or it’s in competition for Un Certain Regarde. I don’t know. Rooney’s Dior ensemble is a variation on Jennifer Lawrence’s black-and-white premiere dress, did you know that? I think J-Law wore it better. I just don’t get what Rooney is trying to achieve with her fashion. Is she trying to show us that she’s so avant-garde and special that she can wear fug clothing and pull it off? Or does she honestly think she looks cute? Ugh.

Rooney was just announced as the new face of Calvin Klein fragrances too. So much for her claims that she’s NOT A MODEL and she doesn’t want to be. You can see the first image from her CK campaign here.

Doutzen Kroes in Calvin Klein (the white) and Versace (the pink). The Versace isn’t that good and it washes her out. The CK dress is decent, but I feel like the top part is ill-fitting.

Cheryl Cole in Zuhair Murad. Game show hostess.

Jane Fonda in Atelier Versace. I’m sorry, but everything here looks straight out of the ‘80s. I mean, good for her for still looking so good and everything, but this photo looks like it was taken in 1985.

Lea Seydoux in Louis Vuitton. She’s a beautiful woman in a so-so dress.

Paz Vega has been everywhere in Cannes. I kind of think she’s “working” the festival, you know? She wore this Stéphane Rolland Spring 2013 Couture gown which is absolutely terrible. Jennifer Lawrence wore a Dior gown like this at the SAGs this year, so I guess Rolland is copying Dior. What a stupid design idea to “copy”. God.

Photocall pics from Inside Llewyn Davis, with Garrett Hedlund, Justin Timberlake, Carey Mulligan and Oscar Isaac. Garrett looks AMAZING. But Justin thinks he’s the “star”!

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Here’s Jennifer Lawrence at Cannes (and settling nicely into a Liam Hemsworth and Sam Claflin sandwich) while wearing Dior at an early photocall for Catching Fire. I’m labelling this “early” because Catching Fire is not actually screening in Cannes — it’s not even close to being a finished movie! Yet it is never too early for the promotional game, and there are flaming billboards up near the famed Majestic Barriere hotel.

Hence this photocall — and I’ll be perfectly honest here and admit that this Dior jumpsuit is so unflattering that, upon first glance, I was certain that JLaw was wearng some awful Stella McCartney creation that was making her look lumpy in places that certainly would look much better with a flattering design. After all, Jennifer has worn Stella before even if that instance was a rare Stella design that actually looked halfway decent. However and now that this look can be attributed to Dior, there is simply no excuse for the ruffled detail around the waist that is the crowning achievement of awkwardness atop a black crochet bustier erroneously coupled with off-black pants. Poor JLaw, and her shoes are nearly as mystifying as Claflin’s choice of footwear.

Since I’m in the mood for full disclosure tonight, I will admit that even though I am the resident JLawloonie, her recent haircut wasn’t met with much excitement on this end. Kaiser thought it was cute, but I didn’t like it in its wavy incarnation. Now I’m seeing this haircut in all of it’s messy, piecy glory, and it is glorious and accompanied by a complete absence of winged bangs. It is spectacular. It might be my new haircut.

Liam Hemsworth looks quite appetizing too, right? I quite like him with only the tiniest bit of scruff and am pleased that he shaved the overzealous beard away.

Also, here are some photos of JLaw and Liam at the Jimmy P. (Psychotherapy of a Plains Indian) premiere. JLaw is wearing Dior again (and this look is so much more sophisticated than the other outfit) while Liam is wearing the most delicious Dolce & Gabbana suit. Most suits are so boring, but this one is … hot damn.

Photos courtesy of WENN

Here are some new photos of goddess Cate Blanchett in Milan, Italy over the weekend. She stopped by the Armani showroom and then she and Mr. Armani spent some time at Hotel Armani and went for a little walk together with the paparazzi. Cate is a big Armani girl, although she’s not strictly all-Armani. I always associate Cate with Armani, Alexander McQueen (more so when McQueen was alive), Givenchy and Louis Vuitton. Cate IS a Fashion Girl, but it works with her because A) she’s so much more than a Fashion Girl and B) because no one wears avant-garde and provocative fashion better than Cate. Cate doesn’t need to tell you that she’s a princess by wearing a big, obvious ball gown. Cate is an intellectual princess and it shows in whatever she wears.

I have to say, I love everything she’s wearing in these photos. I especially like the cut of those black pants, but the muted grey & blue outfit is a study for how women past a certain age can look stylish and graceful and appropriate. And you know my favorite part? I love that Cate has lines on her face. She has a REAL face. She’s not Botox’d and filler’d. She’s not pinched and pulled. She’s got beautiful, amazing skin but it’s not the result of her love affair with needles. Cate doesn’t need to be a perpetual 29 year old. She wears her 40s with such grace. Sigh.

Anyway, I’m assuming that Cate was in Milan with Mr. Armani because she was recently named the new face of Armani fragrances. Reportedly, Cate’s contract is worth $10 million. People Magazine claimed last week that Cate was chosen specifically to front the campaign for the new Armani fragrance Si. The ads should be out this summer. Can’t wait!

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Here are some photos of the Saturday premiere of Epic, that new children’s film. It’s animated, of course, and it features voice work by Amanda Seyfried, Beyonce, Pitbull, Chris O’Dowd, Jason Sudeikis, Christoph Waltz, Steven Tyler and many, many more. Colin Farrell does some voice work and he came out for the premiere. At first I was like, “Oh, he looks nice. He took a shower and he’s wearing a nice sweater and he looks so handsome.” Then I did the scroll-down and I was eye-assaulted by his freeballin’ bulge. This is some Jon Hamm sh-t, right?

I mean… we know Colin is something of a tripod. He’s got one of the biggest dongs in the business (along with Jon Hamm, who is rumored to be enormous). But much like Jon Hamm, I do have to wonder… is freeballin’ really the answer to one’s size problems? I get that tighty-whiteys might be TOO tight, too confining. But surely there is a happy medium between tight drawers and going commando to the premiere of a children’s movie. I can see the outline of IT in several of these pics. And yes, I’m impressed and titillated. But I’m also kind of grossed out.

I’m also including some pics of Amanda Seyfried (she wore a bright Preen dress), Jason Sudeikis (in weird hipster frames) and Chris O’Dowd (who is adorable).

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

OMG! This is like Christmas and Thanksgiving and a birthday all rolled into one magnificent sparkly gossip gift. According to People Magazine’s sources, Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart are done. For now. Maybe. Probably. Definitely. Considering it’s People Mag, I’d say that it’s for real. If you’ve been following the sparkly shenanigans for a while, you know that Rob and Kristen have seemed… off. For a few months at least, although you could argue that they’ve seemed weird since last summer, when she was flagrantly cheating on him with her married director Rupert Sanders. So how did this breakup go down?

Twilight fans may want to sit down for this one. As rumors of relationship trouble continue to swirl, a source tells PEOPLE that Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart have called it quits after more than three years of dating. Reps for the two could not be reached.

But the source says it would not be surprising if the on-and-off-again pair got back together again.

The news follows online reports that Pattinson ditched out on his 27th birthday plans arranged by Stewart.

Prior to his birthday, the pair appeared to be on and going strong: They were seen in New York together after the Met Gala – and then flew back to Los Angeles together on May 8. They also recently celebrated Stewart’s 23rd birthday together and held hands at Coachella – despite the actress’s cheating scandal with her married Snow White and the Huntsman director Rupert Sanders last July.

Following the ordeal – which included a public apology from Stewart to Pattinson – the duo reunited less than two months later and appeared to be back to normal.

With the exception of some paparazzi kissing shots and Stewart’s admission of her fling, after which she openly professed her love for Pattinson, the two never publicly addressed their romance.

Stewart was known for playing coy about her relationship in interviews, most recently telling Today’s Savannah Guthrie she likes to “keep ‘em guessing” about her love life.

[From People]

According to Hollywood Life & Entertainmentwise, there were some shenanigans with Rob’s birthday plans? Kristen tried to throw him a low-key pool party with all of their friends but he just wanted to hang out with his dude friends. I also saw something early last week that Kristen had been seen (and photographed) crying while she talked on the phone, apparently pleading with someone on the other end, probably Sparkles. You know what will be fun tonight? Checking in on Twitter to see the meltdown. This should get good.

UPDATE: Us Weekly has basically the same story as People, only they say their source is “close to Pattinson.”

Photos courtesy of WENN.

I don’t really understand why this news “broke” on a Friday afternoon for Us Weekly and E! News considering that Page Six already had the “exclusive” story on Monday. But here we go – Beyonce is pregnant again. Allegedly, maybe. Probably. Or something. It’s worth noting that after Page Six claimed Bey was pregnant, Us Weekly ran a story with sources claiming she definitely was NOT. Then Beyonce had to cancel one of her concerts in Belgium and everyone was all “Oh, it’s on, break out the pillows, y’all.”

Let’s just do bullet points:

*E! News says: “That’s right: Superstar supermom Beyoncé is expecting her second child with hubby Jay-Z, multiple sources exclusively confirm to E! News.
The news follows rampant speculation that the “Countdown” songbird was pregnant, even as the couple remained tight-lipped about their ever-growing family.”

*Us Weekly doesn’t have any new sourcing, they’re just citing E! News. But! Us Weekly does say that when Beyonce finally did perform in Belgium (after canceling the one concert), she told the crowd, “Now, my doctors told me not to perform tonight, but there was no way in the world.”

*And People Magazine doesn’t have anything. Yet. I feel like People’s editors think that Beyonce should confirm exclusively to them, but Beyonce’s people are like, “No, Bey, you gotta wait until some big event and then pop that pillow out!” Or something.

Anyway, the long and short of it is that there’s still no real confirmation. Watch this space!

Photos courtesy of WENN, Bey’s Tumblr.

Paris Hilton is in Cannes so that she can make out with her poor boyfriend in front of the paparazzi. Because of course. [The Blemish]
Mariah Carey swears she didn’t lip sync on Idol. [Dlisted]
Gabriel Aubry carries his daughter to school. [Celebrity Baby Scoop]
Khloe Kardashian’s optical illusion dress makes her look butt-tastic. [ICYDK]
Some Daniel Day-Lewis is always welcome. [LaineyGossip]
Rooney Mara was named the newest face of Calvin Klein. [Pop Sugar]
I love Joshua Malina and these are the reasons why. [Buzzfeed]
Why does Kerry Washington’s leather dress look baggy? [Go Fug Yourself]
Everybody loves Star Trek Into Darkness: a review. [Pajiba]
I like Jennifer Lopez’s Dolce & Gabbana outfit. [A Socialite Life]
Selena Gomez has a sushi date with a gal pal. [I'm Not Obsessed]
Britney Spears did a song for Smurfs 2. [Evil Beet]
Everybody’s leaving SNL these days. [Moe Jackson]
Brooke Mueller has overdosed six times in two years. [CDAN]
Anthony Weiner wants to become Mayor Weiner. [Gawker]
Rihanna doesn’t want to shop with peasants milling about. [Celebslam]
Keith Urban wants to stay on American Idol next year. [Reality Tea]
OMG. This woman needs a breast reduction. [Seriously OMG WTF]

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.

Princess Charlene might be fooling around! MAYBE. Hopefully? There is new speculation that when Charlene visited South Africa a few weeks ago, she ended up fooling around with her “friend” Byron Kelleher, a New Zealander rugby player. When Charlene was in South Africa (to open her foundation which supports local athletes), she gave an interview declaring that she was finally ready (maybe) to think about trying for a baby. Charlene always seems pretty over her marriage, but would she really fool around and not keep it locked down?

Media speculation is rife that former All Black Byron Kelleher may be romantically involved with Princess Charlene of Monaco.

Spanish newspaper ABC ignited the flame at the weekend with a report that the wife of Prince Albert II did not accompany her husband to the coronation of the new Dutch King Willem-Alexander two weeks ago because she was in her native South Africa with Kelleher.

A former Olympic swimmer, Princess Charlene, 35, was in South Africa working with her sports-focused charitable foundation, the Princess Charlene of Monaco Foundation.

Dunedin-born Kelleher, 36, is in charge of the foundation’s rugby projects.

“Rumours about a relationship between the two have erupted,” ABC reported.

Other European publications have picked up on the rumours. Under a headline “Charlene with a rugby player?”, Vogue says today : “According to rumours Charlene Wittstock cheated on Albert of Monaco with rugby player Byron Kelleher.”

Vogue continues: “New rumors from the Principality of Monaco. According to some sources Charlene Wittstock is cheating on Albert of Monaco. According to rumors, the Princess has had an affair with rugby player Byron Kelleher, from Paris Rugby Club.”

Kelleher attended the Monaco royal couple’s wedding on July 2, 2011 and reportedly spent time with them on Italy’s Amalfi coast last year. Scrum-half Kelleher plays for Stade Francais in the French Top 14, and has played 57 tests for the All Blacks.

The Monaco royal family has not commented on the speculation.

[From TVNZ]

If you remember, just before Charlene and Albert were married, she tried to physically escape Monaco three different times. And just days after the wedding (in which she looked miserable), Charlene had to deal with the public revelation that Albert had fathered yet another child out of wedlock (but while he was with Charlene). So, it’s not like Albert is some angel and Charlene is just a crazy, wanton woman. There have been quiet rumors about Albert throughout this marriage too – when he attends low-key events, Charlene will stay at home (or wherever) and Albert will bring some female “date” with him, and he always seems friendlier with his date than with his wife. I think their marriage is miserable and it’s always been miserable. But I think it’s weird that Charlene hasn’t popped out an heir and then moved on to a separate life (full of athletic lovers) or just divorced him already. Will this marriage end before there’s an heir?

Photos courtesy of WENN.

Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison… are once again making headlines for a blowout fight – this time on May 4, after Doug, 53, came home in a drunken rage. “He was out of his mind,” reveals a source. “Neighbors could hear Courtney crying.” The boozy encounter, which has family worried for 18 year-old Courtney’s safety, is nothing new. “He drinks day and night,” considers the insider. “Doug controls every aspect of her life.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, May 27, 2013]

I believe this. If Courtney’s extreme age difference with her husband and bizarre appearance didn’t convince you that she’s in an unhealthy relationship, this video of her in goth garb as an alter ego calling herself a “slut” who moved to Hollywood “to marry some old, washed up, D-List, saggy-balled actor” will do it. She made that back in March, and of course her enabling manager mom dismissed it, calling it “funny” and “edgy.” There’s nothing funny or edgy about this whole sketchy situation, but this girl is 18 years old and her only life skill involves wearing lucite heels and posing in a bikini. She probably is unable to take care of herself and I doubt she could divorce this guy and get any support from her parents. They’re the ones who thought it was perfectly fine that she marry a 50-something washed up actor in the first place.

I don’t know why this didn’t occur to me much earlier, but Courtney’s mom probably set her up with Doug from the get-go, right? This wasn’t a situation where these two found each other online like they’re claiming, I bet her mom planned it all and pimped Courtney out to these creeper in some grand scheme to make her daughter a “star.” Look how that’s working out. Courtney is playing the role as she’s expected to, but I just feel sorry for her.

Update: I just read over on Starcasm that Courtney announced to E! news that she has a sex tape. Of course she does. She said it’s “not out in the media” or on her computer and adds “I don’t want to put any images in people’s mind; I’m gonna leave it up to you guys to think what you want.” She claims she’s not going to release it (unless the money is right) claiming that “this is personal.” Isn’t that what Farrah Abraham said too? Courtney claims It’s “just me… I turned 18 in August, so you do the math.” If she has no plans to release it, why did she wait until she was 18 to make the tape?

Courtney with her mom:

Courtney, her mom and the designer, Shekhar Rahate

Courtney and Doug are shown on 5-13. Event photos are from 5-16. Credit: FameFlynet

Here are some new photos of Kim Kardashian and her mother, Lucifer’s Homegirl, out and about in LA yesterday. Kim doesn’t look too bad here – her clothes are still too tight, but I don’t feel like her unborn child is being smothered by ten layers of maternity Spanx at least. There is one really unfortunate thing though:

OMG. OH. MY. GAWD. Why would you do this to yourself? If your ankles and feet are that swollen and you don’t need to wear heels, for the love of God, just wear flip-flops. Why bother with any of this? Just wear sweatpants and flip-flops and keep your feet up. Enough.

As for this other stuff… well, I’ll get to it, but have I ever told you that my mom has very strong feelings about the Kardashians? My mom has a theory that Kim is just going to give birth, profit from the baby and just leave the baby to be raised by Kris Jenner and Auntie Khloe & Kourtney (and probably a lot of nannies). My mom said, “Say what you will about Kourtney, but she raises her children.” And you wonder how I got to be such a judgy bitch. Anyway, in that same vein, Kim is super-pissed that Kanye is planning to go on tour two seconds after the baby is born:

Kim Kardashian is furious that her baby daddy boyfriend, Kanye West, is planning to go on an international tour to promote his upcoming album after the reality star gives birth, RadarOnline.com has learned exclusively.

Kanye’s soon-to-be-released yet untitled record, which is expected to drop on June 18, will be “launching a worldwide tour later this fall, early next year. Kim is giving birth in July, and the baby will only be a few months old when Kanye goes out on the road,” a source close to the family exclusively told Radar.

“Needless to say, Kim is very unhappy that Kanye won’t be around as much because of his work. Even if she flew on a private jet with the baby to see Kanye, it would be impossible for mother and baby to be on the road with him. Kim wants to breast feed for at least the first six months. The baby needs to be on a schedule, and that is hard when crossing time lines.”

Complicating matters, Kim will be required to be in Los Angeles this winter to shoot Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

“Kim just feels like she can’t win. She feels that both of their work schedules are going to prevent them from spending quality time together after the baby is born,” the insider revealed.

[From Radar]

Kim is planning to breastfeed for six months? I’ll believe it when I see it (and we probably will see it on a “Very Special Episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians: The Lactation.”) But yeah, if Kanye is going on tour my guess is that Kim will be following him and she’ll leave the baby with her mother. And thus Kris Jenner got another generation of children to pimp.

Meanwhile, this happened (NSFW language, beware):

Kanye performed at the Roseland Ballroom in NYC and he rapped about how he wasn’t a celebrity and it’s all pretty much how you think Kanye really does think about himself. You can read the full transcript here at Complex.

Photos courtesy of Fame/Flynet.