In my work as a Celebrant, I collaborate with individuals, couples, and families of all backgrounds.  My respect (and curiosity!) for other traditions seems to attract those searching for an interfaith officiant.  It must be true that what we put out comes back to us!

Over the years, I’ve had the great pleasure of creating and conducting ceremonies for amazing clients of the following backgrounds: Jewish, Persian, Chinese, Evangelical, First Nation, French Canadian, Buddhist, Catholic, Anglican, Armenian Orthodox, Indonesian, Scottish, Greek, and oh boy I surely have missed a few!!!

When the majority of guests do not speak English, or important family members do not, I work with a translator to ensure key portions of the ceremony are understood.  My ceremonies have been translated into Mandarin, Cantonese, French, and German.

We experience powerful opportunities for connection when people of differing faiths and cultural traditions come together for a marriage, birth, or death. Rather than be divided by differences, we can use the ceremonies for these occasions to foster memorable shared experiences.  Here are five tips for creating meaningful multicultural or multifaith ceremonies.

1. Look for underlying universal human truths.
2. Honour commonalities between the two traditions.
3. Research folk tales.
4. Include unifying rituals.
5. Learn to speak key words or phrases in a different language.

Look for Underlying Universal Human Truths

We all want to be loved. To feel part of a community. And to be accepted for who we are.  Happiness and joy, grief and pain, disappointment… the emotional arc of what it is to be human is experienced by us all.  Bring these universal human truths into the ceremony by illuminating experiences and emotional everyone present can relate to.

Honour Commonalities between the Two Traditions

Though two traditions may be very different in some ways, in others there is great similarity.  Highlighting the commonalities helps bring connection and welcoming spirit to the ceremony and in interactions beyond. Here’s an example: Chinese and Jewish families place great importance on family.  Speak to these important shared values during the ceremony.

Research Folk Tales

I’m a storyteller and love to share folk tales during multifaith or multicultural ceremonies.  Participants and guests appreciate the intention and effort!  Folk tales or stories bring home deeper meaning in a way that seems to resonate with many listeners.  I don’t tell LONG stories, but rather abbreviate them into a paragraph.  It is especially wonderful to share folktales from two traditions that illustrate the exact same point!  Again, it’s about celebrating what we share.

Include Unifying Rituals

All faiths and cultures have rituals intended to unify self with others and self with the sacred.  Spend time learning about these and you will enliven your ceremonies with emotional richness. See if you can combine ritual elements of both traditions. For instance, in a handfasting I once used the crowning ribbons from the orthodox Armenian crowning.  Always remember that to be resonate rituals must be relevant and suited to the individuals involved.  No rites by rote!

Learn to speak Key Words and Phrases in a Different Language

Learning how to say “Welcome” in Mandarin, “You may kiss the bride” in French, “Mazel Tov” in Hebrew, “Ashes to Ashes” in German, “Sofrey-Aghd” in Persian will endear you to guests and to your clients.  Make sure you practice!

….

I welcome your comments and would love when you share your own tips!

All for now,

Michele Davidson, Professional Celebrant & Wedding Officiant

Mostly weddings, as ’tis wedding season. But I also crafted and performed a Child Honouring Ceremony in a forested grove. The ceremony brought harmony to a family struggling with some divisions. It’s been over a month and I am still deeply impacted by the connection of human spirit that I witnessed that day.

Many interesting ceremonies to tell you about… all in good time.

Till soon,

Celebrant Michele

I spoke with a member of the art committee, as well as a young woman volunteering with the large task of archiving and cataloging the collection (all of which has been donated by major collectors and generous artists).  They and each of the speakers this evening spoke to the positive response of patients, visitors and staff.

As a former volunteer on the palliative unit, I can speak to how uplifting I found it to have objects of reflection before which to take pause when I felt especially emotional.  Some became like touchstones for me.

The paintings and sculptures help to honour that healing work is taking place on the grounds… and that that the care of the soul is more than only medicine.

Isn’t it wonderful that on the palliative unit, patients have access to an Art Cart program where they can choose art for the walls of their room, with changes possible twice a week.  Many have chosen more than one piece to adorn their walls.  And staff are constantly amazed that the painting chosen by Mr. A last week, was chosen by Mrs. Y the next… despite the two individuals being vastly different personalities. I hope they can expand this program to other areas of the hospital, for instance the rooms of long term care residents and psychiatric patients.

If you would like more information, I encourage you to contact the VGH and UBC Hospital Foundation at info@worldclasshealthcare.ca  or 604-875-4676.  Financial gifts to support the program are gladly accepted. Potential donations of works of art should be discussed with the Art Committee, as they have particular needs in particular areas.

In peace,

Celebrant Michele Davidson

Without the religion, of course!

In the ‘old’ days we had an individual in our village or town who knew the families in the area and served them in times of joy and sorrow.  These were the Parish Priests: parish being the community and priest referring to their role leading ceremonies and sermons.  The Parish Priest knew people personally and was entrusted with blessing their babies, officiating their weddings, attending their deaths, and leading their mourning and burial rituals.

Today, unless we belong to a faith institution, we no longer have our ‘parish priest’.  That begs the question: Who do we turn to to guide us in the significant ceremonies of our lives?  Most of us would prefer someone who knows us, or takes time to get to know us.  But who?

Well, I’d have to say that I see this as an important part of my lifework as a Celebrant. Celebrant, after all, is another centuries-old term for someone who leads a community in ceremony.  It’s true that in the past Celebrants and Parish Priests were once associated with a particular religion (often Catholic or Anglican).  But today we are interfaith and intercultural, respecting the values and beliefs our very diverse clients.

There aren’t many of us around yet… in fact I was the first full-time, professionally educated, modern Celebrant in Vancouver.  I actually call my business Modern Celebrant! Today the demand for my services has grown dramatically. It tells me that a Celebrant-led ceremony is a perfect match here on the west coast where we trend to a multi-cultural, not formally religious demographic. People want this.  And thankfully more Celebrants graduate and enter the profession every year.

Serving Vancouver and Whistler (hey, it’s a large parish), families are turning to me in the way they would have years ago with a parish priest.  Couples I have married are having babies and calling upon me to create a family ceremony for them. Many clients have told me that when a parent or other family member passes away, they will entrust me with creating the Celebration of Life or other memorial.

I wish I could express just how immensely privileged I feel to be invited into the intimacy of my clients’ hearts and emotions. And into the most transformational events of their lives: births, end of life, marriage, beginnings and endings. For these are experiences that change us.

To be so trusted at such significant moments is a great gift that brings meaning to my own life.  I imagine that this is what it means to be a modern day parish priest… and a thoroughly Modern Celebrant.

If you  know someone experiencing a transitional event in their lives, I’d be grateful if you let them know about me. It’s my greatest desire to serve our community by sharing the healing power of ceremony.  I’m at 604-992-4217.

As children, our mothers and fathers held space for us when we cried. The way we simply hold a baby in our arms to comfort it, is much like how we hold space for adults we care about. You probably have experienced a look of kindness so gentle that it freed the tears stopped up within you.  That person was holding space for you in their heart.

So how do we do it? How do we go about holding space?

Sometimes holding space involves physically holding, but more often that not, it is to hold our friend with our heart and our mind… in person, on the phone, or in our thoughts.  To hold space is to make room in our heart to witness their pain, and not to problem solve or change it.  To let it be just as it is so they can work through it themselves, with the comfort of knowing we are there for them in body or in spirit.

I really learned to hold space as a spiritual care volunteer in palliative care.  I came to accept that no matter how hard I wished, I couldn’t take away the physical or emotional suffering of another.  Nor could I remove the anguish of family members as they prepared for life without their loved one. To think I could was to feel more powerful than I actually was, and also didn’t make room for them to go through things in their own way.

And so I learned what it meant to be truly WITH people in empathy and kindness. The more aware and open I was to their experience, whatever it was, the better I was able to be a genuinely supportive companion.

Sometimes I held a hand, rubbed feet, made a cup of tea, or offered gentle words.  But most of the time, few if any words were spoken. Often I synchronized my breath with theirs allowing us to be two human beings bridged by our breath.

To hold space is to let someone know they do not walk alone. You aren’t trying to release their emotions for them.  Rather you give empathetic support that can gives them courage to bear what they must bear. To resolve what they must resolve. To feel what they must feel. Holding space is beyond words.

It is a precious gift but holding space can be hard. Strive not to take anything personally or to let the other’s pain reside in your own spirit because of worry or transference. It’s wise to nourish yourself afterwards.  After my shift at the hospital, I would walk home as a transition. Once home, I relaxed in a hot bath. This was my ritual of holding space for my own emotions afterwards.

The amazing thing about holding space is that it is not a one-sided relationship.  Whatever space I offered, I was given the same and more in return.  Holding space is two people touching the collective spirit of their humanity together.

In peace,

Celebrant Michele

The resurrection of Christ is for me symbolic of the resurrection of hope, of new beginnings, and of the continuation of life.  The Biblical story reminds me that the beauty of life continues, even after times of immense suffering and darkness.

I look around today, Good Friday, and see evidence of this all around.  In the garden of my friend who died last year in the vibrancy of her life, the tulips she planted have pushed through the ground in a riot of colour. Standing before them I wish to weep for the sadness and loss of her, for I miss her very much, but inside there is a little twitter of joy to see evidence of her life continuing on in the seasons of her garden. How fragile life, yet how powerful and enduring.

Whether you believe that Christ rose from the dead after crucifixion on the cross, it is clear that, for many many people the time of Easter is a time of great meaning. Yes, we gather easter eggs, but we also gather for family feasting and togetherness.  Churches fill. The spirit of peace is passed.  And the collective heart of humankind that longs for fresh starts and new beginnings, beats with hope.

May you take time this weekend, whatever your faith, to welcome magic and mystery into your own life.

In peace, Celebrant Michele Davidson

Vancouverite Jen Zurowski owns Cheeky Umbrellas.  Jen lives in the rainiest spot of all in the Vancouver area and knows exactly what we need in a well-made umbrella that is also super stylin’.  I have one and it is the best quality and most beautiful brollie I’ve ever had with it’s cherry blossom design and contrasting inside panel.

But here’s the BIG NEWS!  Jen just launched her Bridal Umbrella line.  I’ve been telling my brides about this for a while now, and everyone is stoked.

Her bridal umbrellas are absolutely stunning — worth the wait.  Tasteful, elegant, and of the highest quality. White with delicate silver designs and slogans like: “Rain or shine, That guy is mine!” on the bottom edge.  I invite you to check out Jen’s bridal umbrellas at Cheeky Umbrellas.  The link takes you directly to the bridal line, but you can also view her primary line of umbrellas.

These bridal umbrellas are perfect for Brides and Bridesmaids.  Makes a great shower gift too!

I have a couple of ideas on how we can be agents of change around this.

1) The language around having lots to do — What about if we used the word full instead of busy? (And omitted the word crazy… so that we don’t say crazy full!)  We could say our lives are “very full”.  It doesn’t feel as doctor-office-ish to me. To me, ‘full’ implies: full of good things.

2) Slowing down our pace –  Yes, it’s true, most of our lives are busy… oops, I mean full.  I believe we do need to slow down and that we have the power to do so.  We can slow our minds and the way we interact with and speak to each other. Ever hear someone talk rapid fire rat-a-tat-tat through what is supposed to be a social outing with you.  Feels like a visit to the doctor when s/he has 5 minutes and you need 20.

3) Bringing ourselves back to core values — Hopefully even our most menial activities can in some way connect us back to our core values and purpose in life.  For instance, one of my values is to Cultivate heart-to-heart, person-to-person connection.  So, when I’m about to roar through the grocery store in a last minute blitz… do I make eye contact with others… can respond with kindness when the person at the head of the line fumbles with their payment? Hey, do you know what your core values are?  Or are you too _ _ _ _  to think about them?

So dear readers will you join me in starting a not-so-random act of rebellion?  Will you join me in being an agent of change?  Let’s vow to never use the phrase Crazy Busy again…To use the word “Busy” less… and “Full” more?  And even when we are actually feeling CB inside, let’s at least try not distance ourselves from each other because of it.

Here’s an interesting You-Tube video on the subject by Dr. Hallowell who claims our world has gone ADD!

I’m a believer that we have to make time for small moments of magic each and every day.  Why not bring happiness and meaning into our days?  No matter how full our lives are, we can make moments of meaning that uplift our hearts.  On Saturday March 20th, pause to honour new beginnings, fresh starts, and the glorious cycle of life.  Some ideas:  Hang prayer flags, plant some seeds, share a special spring breakfast with friends and family, set your clock and step outside to raise your face to the first rays of light.

To welcome spring is to partake in one of the oldest of universal human rituals!

I’d love to hear what your spring rituals are.  Please share!

Marriage Commissioner, Justice of the Peace, Wedding Officiant, Wedding Celebrant, Marriage Officiant, Minister, Chaplain.  These are all commonly used terms but what do they really mean?

Here in beautiful British Columbia, there are two primary options when choosing the Officiant for a legal wedding ceremony. I fall into the first category.

ONE)  An Officiant recognized as a Religious Representative… someone who has gone through BC’s very strict approval process and is thereby authorized to stand in the power of ceremony. While it may sound formal — it certainly doesn’t need to be! For instance, as an Interfaith Celebrant and Chaplain, my ceremonies are deeply meaningful and completely reflective of the couple’s beliefs, whatever they are.

But I digress… the truth is that this is a very diverse group of people who can perform a wide variety of wedding ceremonies.  We range from Lay Chaplains (like me) who work in an Interfaith way (again, like me), to Priests, Ministers, Imams, Rabbis, etc who can guide a very formally religious wedding ceremony in a house of worship.  We use a variety of titles: Celebrant, Wedding Officiant, Wedding Chaplain.  What we don’t use is Marriage Commissioner ...

TWO) A government appointed Marriage Commissioner who uses a preset script.  These ceremonies can be fun if the Marriage Commissioner is willing to make changes to the script to give it a more personal feel.  Marriage Commissioner ceremonies are not created or written specifically for the couple.  These ceremonies fall into what I call ‘the cookie cutter’ category.

That leaves us with Justice of the Peace.  In the past these officers of the peace performed wedding ceremonies in city halls and courthouses around BC.  Nowadays the Marriage Commissioner has taken over this role.

Did I muddy the water or make it clearer?  Please let me know.  I’d like to really help people understand this.

Joyfully yours,

Celebrant Michele Davidson, Vancouver Wedding Officiant, Custom Wedding Ceremonies Vancouver and Whistler