Megan Fox made her way from Berlin to London for another premiere of Transformers. I think me and everyone else have already covered the fact that she’s pretty and young and virile and the complete opposite of Jennfier Aniston. If I ever had the opportunity to talk with her, my mind would go on auto-pilot and I’d start humping her leg. Which would be the least embarrassing thing I’d do. You probably couldn’t even understand me saying, “I love you Megan Fox,” through the buckets of drool coming out of my mouth.

Katie Holmes filmed a guest appearance for So You Think You Can Dance yesterday in what “seems like a huge Broadway production.” To anyone who is tricked into believing this was all spontaneous, Us writes:

Holmes — who was also spotted rehearsing at CBS Studios yesterday — “has been working on this for a long time,” the source says. “She is working with the choreographer Tyce Diorio. They want it to seem like she waltzed in and put it together very quickly, but that’s really not the case. This has been a longtime in the making.”

Other sources say she’s “killing it.” Since I’m not hip to all this urban speak, I’ll assume that means she’s doing good.

Execs are trying to save the performance for the show’s 100th episode on July 8th, but as news has started to leak, they may air the performance as early as this week.

It would be funny if after all this hype, it ends up being a one minute clip of Katie Holmes twirling around like a little girl pretending to be a ballerina. And then she falls on her ass. And then runs away crying.

Are The Pussycat Dolls even making music anymore? I don’t think I’ve heard anything from them in a while. Granted, I don’t listen to the radio. That’s how Satan recruits his minions.

What’s up with the blonde? She looks sort of homely without the 10 gallons of makeup. If you bought her a drink, she’d probably think you were proposing to her.

Sylvester Stallone is shooting The Expendables and judging from this picture of Sly running around holding his gun like he was at a tea party, it looks like it will be a manly affair.

Instead of live ammo, Stallone’s gun will shoot love bullets and everyone will settle their differences with either a debate or fashion show. Rated PG-13 for a rough kickball scene and kissing on the cheek.

Returning to his trailer on the set of his upcoming film Remember Me, a mob of effusive fan girls chased Robert Pattinson down like he was the last Twinkie at fat camp. Their piercing wails didn’t phase Rob, however. He kept himself sane by repeating, “Age of consent is 18, age of consent is 18.”