Celebrity Ladder

Looking For Harvey Weinstein. The Book.

2007-08-16T11:10:00.000-07:00

We have just written to Harvey and asked him if he wants to turn our little pink kiss and tell book about him and our time in LA LA Land, climbing the celebrity Ladder, into a movie.

Keep your eyes open, he might just say yes.

How To Look Fantastic Naked

2007-08-10T02:17:00.000-07:00

You have to give it to her, Kylie looks amazing naked so why can she not keep her men interested?

Posh And Her Puppy Go Shopping

2007-08-10T02:05:00.000-07:00

Why would Posh insist that her hubby goes shopping with her? Take a look at our Celebrity wannabes out for a day shopping in West Hollywood. They both look like they want to shoot themselves. How many pairs of sunglasses does one person need for Gods sake.

The problem for the Beckhams is, there is nothing else to do in LA but shop. We have heard on the grapevine through our man Nigel, Nigel Knows, life is not so fantastic after all and Perez Hilton gives them less than a year before they are looking for somewhere else to set up home.

We think it will be less time than that before they are sick of tacky Vegas for the weekend and hanging out with the Crinkly set in Palm Springs.

Hot Tip Off Of The Day

2007-08-07T09:15:00.000-07:00

Paris Hilton told friends she buys her black and white lace underwear from British lingerie shop Agent Provocateur, loved by a host of Hollywood stars.

Looking For Harvey Weinstein

2007-08-07T08:50:00.000-07:00

Read the little pink kiss and tell book everyone in LA is talking about. We wrote it after spending many years climbing the celebrity ladder to find Mr Weinstein. It is very funny, very real and very informative about who and what you need to know to get on in LA LA Land. We have sent a copy off to Posh to read.

Open Your North And South And Become A Paper Hat

2007-08-07T01:52:00.000-07:00

It has to be seen as a worry when Victoria Beckham is teaching Tom Cruise to Talk Posh, Cor Blimey!!! It seems Tom is fascinated by her Cockney slang and enjoys mimicking her whenever he is round her pad for a cuppa, we cannot think of anything more ridiculous.

The next thing we know Tom will be backing the remake of

Mary Poppins with Posh playing the Nanny and him playing Bert the Dick Van Dyke role, no no please.

This is what happens when the provincial meets the rough. She has probably told them all she is great pals with the Queen and often has afternoon tea at the palace where she gives Cockney lessons to Her Majesty.

To Posh For Malibu Beach Baby

2007-08-03T09:35:00.000-07:00

We don't want to say, told you so but it looks like Posh has had enough of Beverly Hills after just two weeks. We could have told her not to invest $10 Million in a home there, its boring and full of old people. The Celebrities who live there are always away filming, holidaying or doing what Celebrities do.

It seems Posh wants to move to The Beach and buy a $40 Million Dollar home. It won't make her happy, lets face it flip flops, no make up and Pam Anderson as your neighbour? Watch out Posh, she is a man eater and looks pretty good in her tight red swimsuit.

Malibu is nice if you like a small Beach Village lifestyle but beware the shopping is crap and the only lively thing going on is a slow stroll down to Starbucks on a Saturday morning.

Heavens Above What Is Going On Courtney Love?

2007-08-02T04:57:00.000-07:00

Now this is the other extreme of what happens to LA wannabes. Poor Courtney, not only does she have an eating problem but she has major problems with those lips. According to our sources, she is not happy with her trout pout and is considering more cosmetic surgery to put things right again.

Just enjoy being a major Rock and Roll chick for goodness sake and stop trying to hard. Money clearly does not buy you happiness, well not in LA, anyway.

Mrs Blair Just Does Not Care

2007-08-02T04:47:00.000-07:00

Now if you were on holiday in Barbados with the Ex leader of the Country, as a wannabe celebrity, you would expect the Paps to be watching your every move, yes? Well poor Mrs Blair obviously has no worries about the way she looks in a swimsuit!

It seems that the beached whale look is in this year, as an alarming number of top profile folk just don't seem to give a toss, sign of the times, perhaps.

She Might Be A Drunk But She Scrubs Up Well

2007-07-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

Miss Lohan is facing jail after being arrested for drink-driving and possessing cocaine just 11 days after leaving rehab where she had been treated for alcoholism but she is still looking Hot!!!

Her sexy new advertising shoot looks amazing and clearly the high life is not taking it's toll to much.

Keeping Mum In LA

2007-07-30T11:08:00.000-07:00

Now this is what Posh should be doing instead of shopping, being a Mum, although she looks like she could do with a hand. Celebrity Wannabes in LA LA Land are not usually seen out with the children in tow, it is important to have your own Mary Poppins, not a role we see Posh in normally but we think it suit her. The Hermes tote is fantastic and we are glad to see LA has not totally crushed her sense of style, well not just yet anyway.

Kate Moss Moves In With Ronnie?

2007-07-28T11:48:00.000-07:00

Yes it is true but don't worry they are drinking mates. Ronnie is on the wagon and Kate has been cheated on by her ex lover, could be tricky to keep on the straight and narrow but we have faith in Mr Wood. Kate is just hanging out with Ronnie and his wife Jo while she gets over her split from Pete.

Its Only Rock And Roll And We Love It

2007-07-28T11:46:00.001-07:00

So Mr Richards is to write a book about his life as a Rolling Stone, will he remember anything? We have decided to give you a treat and show these two fab pictures of the oldest, besides us two of course, rockers on the planet.
Keith was born in Dartford Kent in 1943, can you believe that. He is the greatest guitar player in the World and the sexiest pensioner!!

Was The Brickie Just A thickie?

2007-07-28T09:46:00.000-07:00

It seems that love has fizzled out for Jen and her Essex boy Paul. She says she wants someone more suitable, reliable and probably with a brain. He says it just got stale and now he is looking for a Hollywood movie career. We wondered if she dumped him because he is a close friend of Posh and according to Hollywood insiders, Jen has the hots for Mr Posh, who knows but times have sure changed. It used to be the Women who jumped on the casting couch in order to secure a Film role!!!

Is This The Best Money Can Buy?

2007-07-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

OK, it is really hard not to judge when confronted with this motley crew of style Icons and Hollywood A Lister's. We think Perez Hilton said it all with his summing up, one word, Swingers!!!

Posh looks like a cheap Hooker, Mrs Pinkerton-Smith looks like a dodgy drag Queen and Katie, well just bless her. They do look like the worst dressed bunch on the planet even though collectivly, they are worth over a Billion Dollers between them.

We know we could take all six, dress them from a charity shop for under £100 and produce a better visual than this. Let's hope they take up the challenge.

Is Goldie an Oldie?

2007-07-23T06:42:00.000-07:00

So to top off the day with another example of what our LA celebrity Icons really look like, we give you the beautiful people letting it all hang out. We think it makes a change to see real bodies without the air brushing.

There is hope for Posh after all. Don,t let them get you down.

What Do You Call A 300lb Woman? Fat

2007-07-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than to improving their minds? Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

As today we are discussing piling on the pounds, we just had to show what happens when the female Icon takes the advice to far and ends up looking like poor Britney. Bless her, if this is what marriage does, then it is a lesson to us all. Posh has nothing to worry about.

Custody Battle Joke.
The scene was a tiny mountain village in a remote section of West Virginia. An old mountaineer and his young wife were getting a divorce in the local court.But custody of the children was a problem.The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that, since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them.The old mountaineer also wanted custody of the children. The judge asked for his side of the story and, after a long moment of silence, the mountaineer slowly rose from his chair and said, "Judge, when I put a quarter in a candy machine and a candy bar comes out, does it belong to me or the machine?"

Here's Piggy

2007-07-23T04:55:00.000-07:00

I don't exercise at all. If God had wanted me to touch my toes he would have put them up higher on my body.

What has happened to Jack? To many MacDonald's? or maybe its Viagra who knows but Victoria needs to take a leaf out of his book and pile on some pounds. LA is never brutal to it's male Icons. Jack could still play the ladies man and pull it off wihtout ever having to diet.

After Scientology

2007-07-22T10:45:00.000-07:00

The thought of seeing Posh without any make up and a vacant stare like poor old Katie, just does not bear thinking about.

Let us just pray that Posh will step in and rescue Katie before it is to late.

Before Scientology

2007-07-22T10:41:00.001-07:00

The beautiful Single Katie Holmes without a care in the World.

Do A Turn On Stern

2007-07-22T02:54:00.000-07:00

We have been thinking about Posh this weekend and have decided it is time for some dramatic action in order to win over LA LA Land and take back her name. In our experience the best way to turn this round is for her to do a turn on Stern and fuck the lot of them. She has really great tits, loves showing them off, so a topless darts stint should take the heat off her dodgy leg and give everyone something to gossip about.
Towing the line and letting them, whoever they are, take you down, is Hollywood suicide, so we say give our mate Howard a call and do a 180 degree turn.

Double Take

2007-07-20T10:39:00.000-07:00

Now this is what happens when the photo is taken and the light is right. She looks amazing. Funny how we never see the good shots!!!

LA Gives Posh A Leg Up

2007-07-20T04:47:00.000-07:00

The problem with promoting yourself as Fabulous in LA you cannot avoid being scrutinized by all and sundry. Posh has been there less than a week and already her profile is being crushed. First she is given a new name, Sticktoria and then her body is being compared to something from a Stephen King novel.

The best advice we can give her is to lay low for a while before they burn her at the stake.

Hot Tip Off Of The Day

2007-07-20T02:21:00.001-07:00

Showbiz pals Tom Cruise and Will Smith are planning a “Welcome to America” party for the Beckhams on Sunday.

What Is From The Earth Is The Greatest Of Worth

2007-07-20T00:36:00.000-07:00

A 120-year-old woman claims that smoking cannabis every day is her secret to long life.
Fulla Nayak, from India, says she reached the age of 120 by smoking pot and drinking strong palm wine in her hut everyday.
She is living with her 92-year-old daughter and 72-year-old grandson.
Nayak told The Sun newspaper, "I don't know how I've survived so long. Many relatives much younger than me have died."

With the news yesterday that the Home Secretary has confessed to having a few hits on a joint when she was 18 at Oxford, big deal, it reminded us of what was so fantastic about living in LA. It is the greatest place to grow your own plants because the climate is perfect, well it has to have something good going for it.

One of the cool things about weed is that it can give you a mad hunger pangs! Often referred to as the ‘munchies’, this involves a sudden urge to eat anything. Not only are you hungry but the weed gives you a greater appreciation of taste, so ordinary foods taste wicked. Ice cream and chocolate are handy to have around before you start skinning up!

Clearly Posh is not a pot smoker but maybe now she is in LA, growing a little in her back garden might give her the curves she so painfully needs but beware, smoking to much can pile on the pounds, everything in moderation.