Celebrity Plush

The prodigal son returns.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 11:57:00 +0000

He did it!

In a stunning display of showmanship, Groundhog found his way home to Punxy just a few hours ago -- this Groundhog Morning.

Thousands upon thousands of Groundhog Day revellers erupted when the sage prognosticator made his first appearance in town in almost a year. When asked whether he was home for good, G-Hog replied, “Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!”

I’m going to Punxsutawney.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 11:53:00 +0000

Dramatic Lemur is ready.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Sat, 02 Feb 2008 11:46:00 +0000

We're excited for Groundhog Day, too, dramatic lemur. We’re excited too.

Speaking of G-Hog (and what would we speak of this weekend -- the Super Bowl?), the word is he’s on his way back to Punxsutawney. To do what he was born to do – prognosticate the nation’s weather. Let’s see that pretty boy Tom Brady do that.

We’re going to Punxsutawney.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:14:00 +0000

I’m going to Punxsutawney.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:12:00 +0000

Search party mounted for Shadow. Erupts into raging party.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 21:07:00 +0000

Groundhog is awol. Obviously, perhaps, Shadow has gone missing too. Thus fueling concern among the celebrodents’ respective entourages that the marmots are gone for good.

But any worrying quickly vanquished when a party broke out.

“It’s how Shadow woulda wanted it,” stated a gold Lamé-clad posse-member. “And we get points for having K-Fed there.”

A groundhog goes “poof.”

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 17:03:00 +0000

First, let me say one thing -- holy bejesus that was a good flick. Here’s to Feb 2.

Second, nobody knows where Groundhog is. His friends last saw him knocking back Bog Waters in the city.

“And then,” a friend says. “Poof. He was gone. Like Keyser Soze.”

Shadow nearly comes to blows with Lucky Cat.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:28:00 +0000

In between bites of General Zso’s chicken at a restaurant in Lancaster, PA, Shadow got all militant when he spotted what he thought was a “Lucky Cat” mocking him.

A Lucky Cat, also known as a “Beckoning Cat” or “Welcoming Cat” is a popular Chinese sculpture of a cat with an upright paw. But a scientist at the University of Pittsburgh explains a different story:

“In the groundhog culture,” he explains, “a raised left paw can have any number of mocking connotations, including ‘you dance like a constipated lemming.’”
The crisis was averted when management told Shadow they’d be honored if he drank from the restaurant’s coy pond.

Brit trades fake Brit accent for fake Groundhogese accent.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:26:00 +0000

Inexplicably, she's been carrying it around with her like a Big Gulp of Mountain Dew for the past few weeks. But Britney's finally giving up on the Brit accent for Groundhogese – the native tongue of G-Hog and Shadow. Her go-to Starbucks barista informs us:

“(Spears) came in and asked me to call her Phillis. Cuz of Phil the groundhog. Then she said, 'Eeee-reeeek, weeee! Weeeeee! Weeeeg! Screeeech!!'” The barista goes on to say, “So Brit, I mean, Phillis, keeps on screeching and making lots of clicks and bangs with her tongue until I go, 'Venti Vanilla Bean Frap?' And, and swear to god, she just licked her chops.

I miss the Rachel Weitz thing.

"I long for my stump."

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:24:00 +0000

That’s what one of our Plush insiders reports G-Hog told a guy at a Manhattan knish truck.

Coulda been that NYC knishes are made out of mashed potatoes, sauerkraut and subway rats.

But we think the star of Groundhog Crossing is just pining for the good ole days back home in Punxy. Get it? Pining? Because groundhogs like wood?

Marmots love rabbits. Rabbit punches, more so.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Fri, 01 Feb 2008 14:21:00 +0000

The celebrodents and their respective posses left the friendly confines of Pennsylvania for, of all places, New York City.

But where did the love go?

The city that never sleeps wasn’t big enough for Shadow or G-Hog as the fur flew once again.

Shadow pledges to help bring the Paine.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:48:00 +0000

Shizadow recently put his money where his heart is by pledging an undisclosed amount to the Paine’s Park Skatepark Project in Philly.

We hear the park is gonna be pretty spectacular. And it better be, taking the place of what made Philly a skate Mecca, Love park.

Philly’s getting to be its own private X Games.
Speaking of “X,” that’s how most marmots sign their checks.

G-Hog survives cancer scare. “It was just a tick.”

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:45:00 +0000

G-Hog fans can breath a little easier this morning, after doctors confirmed the lump on his lower back was actually just a tick.

Photogs snapped a nervous G-Hog attempting to slip in through the service entrance of Philadelphia’s Jefferson Hospital late last night. Several hours later, he was seen being escorted back out, with the trademark smile back on his face.

Hospital spokespeople report that even in his state of panic and fear, G-Hog was polite and gracious, even taking time to sign a lucky nurse’s scrubs.

“I always thought Groundhog was such a pretty name.”

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:42:00 +0000

Jessica Alba isn’t expecting her baby until early summer, but sources say the Fantastic Four star has already narrowed down her list of boy baby names to four. Cassidy, Hayden, Grady and Groundhog.

Alba and her boyfriend, producer Cash Warren, declined to comment.

Hollywood baby-naming maestro Kelly Barnes, however, predicts the news will set off a G-Hog naming flurry. “J Lo still hasn’t decided on a boy name,” Barnes says. “So she could totally go with Groundhog. Especially since she’s expecting before Jessica. It’s such a unique name. And G-Hog is so hot right now.”

“Hey ya’ll, look at this barrel I found full of fish with bullet holes in them!”

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 20:22:00 +0000

You seem to be a thoughtful reader. And thus, may have wondered, “Why hasn’t Plush reported on Britney more often? After all, this is a celebrity blog, isn’t it? I’m really confused!”

It isn’t complicated. She’s off the grid. Into the Tomcat netherworld.

Picking on her on a regular basis would be … well … We don’t club baby seals or kick puppies either.

Shadow to buy the Poconos.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 20:15:00 +0000

Well, not the whole Poconos. But everybody knows Shadow’s been throwing his loot around like a Kanye West video lately. So we’re not surprised that he’s made an offer to buy a hotel in the Poconos for himself. What’s with the Poconos getting all the celebs in town again? It’s got me in an Engelbert Humperdinck sorta mood.

G-Hog bites Paparazzi.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:41:00 +0000

A nosy photographer stuck his camera in the wrong face, yesterday, as G-Hog showed a bit of his wild side.

“I really feel horrible about the incident,” G-Hog said through his agent. “I didn’t mean to bite him. It was just instinct. I was eating. He got in my face. I just reacted. I mean...I may look like a domesticated animal, but I’m wild. Really. When provoked, I will bite.”

Guess it’s true what they say. You can take the groundhog out of the Pennsylvania Wilds—but you can’t take the Wilds out of the groundhog.

Animal rights group tells Shadow: Stop wearing fur.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Thu, 24 Jan 2008 19:38:00 +0000

Shadow learned the hard way…animal lovers can be viscous.

On a recent trip to NYC, the groundhog’s pelt was pelted with numerous balls of red protest paint.

“But I was born this way,” Shadow said through a hired skywriter.

The animal rights group isn’t buying the argument. They say a rash of trendsetting teens is now donning groundhog fur after seeing it glamorized in the hit film, Groundhog Crossing. And the prized pelts are now showing up on the Japanese black market for as much as $1,000/skin.

But the animal lovers does have a plan. “To rectify the situation, we have asked Shadow to shave himself clean during a live pay-per-view television event,” the spokesperson told us.

Shadow caught in hit-and-scamper nightmare.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:05:00 +0000

If you can learn anything from everyone’s Trainwreck of the Year, Britney Spears, it’s this: when a mob of paparazzi with high-speed cameras snap your photo in the act of bumping into another vehicle, you may want to wipe that buck-toothed grin off your face…and leave a note.

Apparently, the guys down at the local precinct are NOT smiling.
“At this point, we would like to speak with Mr. Shadow,” said a Harrisburg Police spokesperson. “We have not issued any warrant for his arrest. But that could change.”

G-Hog gives back.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 14:02:00 +0000

It’s pretty okay when bigshots remember where they came from. Props to G-Hog for taking time out of his whirlwind schedule to talk to a group of less fortunate rodents down at the world famous Pittsburgh Zoo.

“I know, a lot of you feel trapped right now. Like this is all there is. But I’m proof that there’s a whole big world outside that cage you’re in. There’s acting. There’s independent films. There’s golf. Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t get these things. Don’t let these bars hold you back…from ANY of it.”

New photo reveals, G-Hog losing his fur.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Wed, 23 Jan 2008 13:58:00 +0000

Fur Club For Men alert!

A shocking new photo reveals the star of Groundhog Crossing may be developing a bald spot.

According to a very chatty “friend” of G-Hog, however, this is not a case of Groundhog Pattern baldness.

“He’s just been scratching himself a LOT lately,” she confided. “His doctor prescribed one of those big lampshade collars. But he just won’t wear it. G-Hog believes that with willpower, the fur will grow back on its own in a few weeks.” Sound familiar?

Speaking of imposters.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 18:48:00 +0000

Check out Miley Cyrus doing her thing with some pretty boys they call the Jonas Brothers (do we really need a new Hanson?) at a recent concert in Pennsylvania. Then watch the songstress duck backstage as another girl in the same bubble gum outfit pretends to sing some awful song named “We Got The Party.”

This makes Ashlee Simpson look like Renee Fleming.

Poseurs.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:56:00 +0000

Ah, Hollywood. You’re never bashful about jumping on a trend. Then jumping on that trend’s neck and stomping on it until it’s a lifeless chia sea monkey.

And turning crummy tv shows into movies has always been such a great idea -- with Scooby Doo, Starsky & Hutch and The Dukes of Hazzard, rocking all the AFI’s top 100 lists.

If you wanna see a great rodent movie, see the real deal.

Shadow injured while auditioning for music video.

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:53:00 +0000

When he heard the new Bat For Lashes video would feature bmx bikers wearing furry animal heads, Shizadow reportedly ditched a speaking engagement in Harrisburg. Instead, he showed up on set all bright eyed and bushy tailed (like he could be anything else). Then he channeled his inner Johnny Knoxville.

“Next thing we know Shadow is taking a header into a ditch,” recounted a bystander. “You could hear it from across the lot. We weren’t (filming) yet, which is unfortunate.”

Shadow severely sprained his upper right paw. And his ego.
You can see the real vid, sans Shadow, here.

Mid-wildlife crisis?

noreply@blogger.com (visitPA) — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 14:40:00 +0000

Look at the latest bright and shiny object to get Groundhog’s attention. Cadillac Grills, ya’ll.

Armen in Plymouth Meeting, PA, dealers say the furry flavor of the moment kicked the tires on an H2 and this tricked out Escalade.

What would the folks back in Punxsy say?
And who’s the dude wearing my grandma’s doily on his head?