CELEBRITY QUOTES

Henry Aaron

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:54:00 +0000

It took me seventeen years to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon playing golf.

Douglas Adams (03/11/1952 - 05/11/2001) English humorist & science fiction novelist

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:50:00 +0000

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space.

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:50:00 +0000

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at or repair.

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own set of laws.

Joey Adams (01/06/1911 - 12/02/1999)

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:46:00 +0000

A psychiatrist is a fellow who asks you a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing.

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway.

Muhammad Ali (01/17/1942 - ) maybe the greatest boxer ever

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:45:00 +0000

The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.

I don't always know what I'm talking about but I know I'm right.

Boxing is a lot of white men watching two black men beat each other up.

I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my bedroom and was in bed before the room was dark.

Inside of a ring or out, ain't nothing wrong with going down. It's staying down that's wrong.

Fred Allen

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:44:00 +0000

A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.

Woody Allen (12/01/1935 - ) US writer, actor and director

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:43:00 +0000

My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty.

Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's a pretty good empty experience.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him your future plans.

Robert Altman

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:41:00 +0000

If you have a child who is seven feet tall, you don't cut off his head or his legs. You buy him a bigger bed and hope he plays basketball.

Mario Andretti (02/28/1940 - ) Italian automobile racer

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:41:00 +0000

If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.

Give me a lever long enough, and I shall move the world.

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:39:00 +0000

Archimedes Greek inventor, mathematician, & physicist

Aristotle Greek critic, philosopher, physicist, & zoologist

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:37:00 +0000

Patience is bitter, but its fruit is sweet.

He who cannot be a good follower cannot be a good leader.

No great genius has ever existed without some touch of madness.

Those that know, do. Those that understand, teach.

Those who educate children well are more to be honored than parents, for these only gave life, those the art of living well.

Isaac Asimov (01/02/1920 - 04/06/1992) US science fiction novelist & scholar

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:35:00 +0000

What would I do if I had only six months left to live? I'd type faster.

The first law of dietetics seems to be: if it tastes good, it's bad for you.

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what's right.

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.

Lady Nancy Astor (05/19/1879 - 05/02/1964) British politician

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:35:00 +0000

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

Rowan Atkinson (01/06/1955 - ) Engl. comedian, actor and writer

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:30:00 +0000

You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.

Clement Attlee (01/03/1883 - 10/08/1967) British politician

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:26:00 +0000

Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.

Jane Austen (12/16/1775 - 07/18/1817) English novelist

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:25:00 +0000

Oh! do not attack me with your watch. A watch is always too fast or too slow. I cannot be dictated to by a watch.

A large income is the best recipe for happiness I ever heard of.

Dan Aykroyd (06/01/1952 - ) Canadian actor

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:24:00 +0000

Listen! You smell something?

Lord Byron

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:23:00 +0000

All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage.

Samuel Butler

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:17:00 +0000

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.

Barbara Bush (06/08/1925 - ) Former US First Lady

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:17:00 +0000

Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.

Ralph Bus

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:15:00 +0000

Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off.

Willliam S. Burroughs

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:14:00 +0000

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say "I WANT TO SEE THE MANAGER."

Dr. Quinn Burchenal character in the movie Red Planet

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:13:00 +0000

We just disappointed 10 billion people. Not counting the ex-wives.

Luis Bunuel

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:12:00 +0000

Thank God I'm an atheist.

Honey Bunny Charakter in the movie Pulp Fiction

noreply@blogger.com (Unknown) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 11:12:00 +0000

Any of you fuckin' pricks move, and I'll execute every mother fuckin' last one of ya.