Celebrity Rant

Beyonce is now a Poser....

2013-04-23T09:42:00.002-04:00

Beyonce really hates this photo and after all, what's not to hate? Guess what Beyonce.... we all have hideous photos floating around out there on the inter webs. For example... Facebook tags. I, for one cannot delete that shit fast enough. Since Beyonce does not have the almighty power to press a world wide delete button instead she has her publicist putting the smack down on any future unflattering photos. From now on we will only be able to gaze upon the wonder of Bey-Bey if she is propped, locked and posed. After all, who really wants to see Beyonce's "O" face and by "O" face, I mean her constipated pooping face. Easy solution.... Bey needs more fiber and a strong dose of reality.

Do YOU know who Reese Witherspoon is?

2013-04-22T09:35:00.002-04:00

So, Reese Witherspoon brought out the nasty recently when her husband was pulled over for a DUI. More notable though is that "Reese" is really "Laura" and not a very nice person. Witherspoon's hubby, Jim Roth apparently had the drunken bleary eyes and reeked of booze when he was pulled over the other day. Instead of sitting there quietly and letting them haul Roth off to jail Reese aka Laura had a lot to say to the arresting officer such as: ‘Do you know my name?’ the officer answered, ‘No, I don’t need to know your name.’ then added, ‘right now.’ Mrs. Witherspoon stated, ‘You’re about to find out who I am.’ Big fucking whoop. So, you're Reese Witherspoon. Doesn't give your husband the right to drive drunk but I am guessing him driving that night was the lesser of two evils as Reese was pretty crocked herself. I mean, she'd have to be right? It's just not possible that the sweet, girl next door actress would have a single nasty bone in her body, right? Right. So, Reese got to wear a pretty pair of diamond encrusted handcuffs and was taken to jail along with Toth, In any event they were released the next day. The moral of the story? STFU.

Twisted Lady's Gems

2013-04-22T09:32:00.000-04:00

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Nascar Racing really packs a punch...

2013-03-28T12:51:00.002-04:00

Anyone who watches Nascar racing and likes to bet on sports knows that a lot of skill, determination and ego are involved. This all seems to work out fine when everything is in balance but the moment someone steps on someones toes all hell breaks loose. For example, last weeks fiasco between Tony Stewart and Joey Logano shows that while Nascar racing is thought to be a "gentleman's sport" it's been known to spur on many fights, grudges and vendettas between hotheaded race car drivers. You can always count on speed and fast cars to bring out the good, bad and ugly in the racing arena.

The Sprint Cup Series race last Sunday at Auto Club Speedway was a shining example of competitiveness and hot tempers when a scuffle broke out between Stewart and Logano. The story goes, that Logano blocked Stewart on a restart with 11 laps remaining in the Auto Club 400. After the race Stewart went to confront Logano (and by confront I mean punch his face in) and a shoving match began between the 2 crews and ended with Logano chucking a water bottle at Stewart. Personally, I would have shoved that water bottle so far up Logano's butt he would never be thirsty again. In any event, neither driver will be penalized although Logana was responsible for wrecking into Denny Hamlin while battling for the lead which resulted in a lower back compression fracture for Hamlin. Ouch. Racing is rough stuff.

Maybe they should change the catch phrase from "Boogity, Boogity, Boogity let's go racing boys!" to "Let's get ready to Ruuuuumble!"

Justin Bieber & Miley Cyrus seperated at birth...

2013-02-25T09:24:00.003-05:00

Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber could be identical twins if not for the whole chromosome thing. I have a better theory on that though. They actually could be identical and one is just faking us out. Did you know that out of every 1,666 births, one baby is born with both sexes? It's about as common as a child being born a natural redhead, hence the 666 factor. So look around you, every time you see a soulless ginger person, not far behind them is a Miley/Justin hermaphrodite. Truth.

Steven Tyler has too much damn money....

2013-02-25T09:12:00.000-05:00

I used to watch all the great comedians back in the day. Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, Robin Williams and even Jerry Seinfeld all got their start in stand up comedy. They told lot of great jokes and what always makes a joke more funny is the shread of truth that is usually attached. So when I heard that Steven Tyler made an offhand remark that he's blown "5 or 6 million" bucks on drugs I was reminded of a line Robin Williams said once.... If you are buying cocaine it's "Gods way of telling you, you have too much damn money!" Ridiculous. Millions of blow? Who does that? Oh yeah, Steven Tyler. Whom, I might add is looking more and more like a cartoon drawing brought to real life. He's not bad, he's just drawn that way.

Ashlee Simpson Upskirt Panties Photo!

2013-02-07T10:22:00.005-05:00

Ashlee Simpson has fallen off the radar for the most part. Her singing career tanked. Shocker. Her marriage to Pete Wentz tanked. Shocker. Her sister Jessica Simpson is churning out baby after baby and her parents are divorcing amid rumors that her dad, Joe is gay. So what is a girl to do to stay relevant? Flash her panties. So here is the new Ashlee Simpson upskirt photo to get herself a little attention. Can't blame a girl for trying.

Kim Kardashian needs a Xanax....

2013-02-07T10:17:00.001-05:00

Poor Kim Kardashian is so stressed out over her divorce to Kris Humphries that she is putting her unborn baby at risk. Maybe Kim should have waited a few minutes before getting knocked up by Kayne West. After all, her birth control method has seemed to work for her all of these years until now. Kim does not think things through although she seems to be cold and calculating on the surface she is just a mass of uncertain insecurity underneath. Maybe she thought she's be divorced by now however Kris is not letting go easily and it's pretty obvious he is reveling in her dismay at not being able to get on with her life. Oh, well. Too bad, so sad Kim.

Mama June is fading away....

2013-02-07T09:51:00.000-05:00

So, "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" Mama June has lost a 100 pounds just by moving that big, beautimous body and spreading her smexy all over the place. WORK IT SMOOCHIE!

I think it's awesome and I genuinely like June. I think she has the best interests of her children in mind, barring the fact that they are on a reality show and will most likely end up in rehab sooner or later. But still, you got to hand it to her. How many families get the chance to be on TV, make a fuck ton of money and just be themselves? Yes. I said it. I actually believe this family is the real deal. Of course they set up scenarios to keep us entertained but these people are who they are and they don't care what you think!

However, while the first season was extremely captivating in a train wreck sort of way the more recent episodes are a bit more contrived and I kind of think the charm has worn off. Alana has always been super obnoxious but she has really ramped it up and while they used to capture her saying phrases that you could tell she coined herself, this time she seems to be coached and that kind of sucks.

Of course I'll keep watching because I am a reality junkie and I simply cannot stop. Just don't send Intervention to my house because I hate surprises.

Kate Bosworth is mixed up...

2013-02-07T09:37:00.001-05:00

Kate Bosworth did a photo shoot that makes her look like she just bawled her eyes out or passed out in a drunken stupor in full makeup. I've never noticed that she has two different colored eyes. How cool is that? I had a girlfriend a long time ago that was a dead ringer for Cyndi Lauper except that she had a brown eye and a green eye. It was awesome looking but she would always complain about what a bitch it was to get her eyeshadow to look right.

Speaking of eyes and makeup, I just bought some false eyelashes because I see everyone wearing them these days. I didn't buy the huge, thick spider leg type that Snooki wears but I did get a pair of very natural looking ones. At least I think they will be awesome and natural looking if I could get them on my eye lids. What the hell? It is hard. I cannot get the damn things on and in place. I suppose I need more practice... or just a really good tube of mascara and call it a day.

Jessica Simpson: rinse, repeat...

2013-02-07T09:26:00.001-05:00

So, Jessica Simpson is pregnant again as we all know. Fresh off the heels of giving birth to daughter Maxwell and imploding in a head shot sort of way for Weight Watchers. I don't really think it's a bad thing that Jessica struggled to drop the baby weight, I believe it makes her more appealing to the average woman and that should be the target for Weight Watchers. After all not everyone has the genetic gift like Heidi Klum who can bounce a quarter off her stomach 6 hours after giving birth. This is supposed to be a recent photo of Jessica and her new baby bump, much like the old baby bump. It seems like this is a photo of her last pregnancy, I sort of remember her looking like a sparkly sausage once before. Anyway, I am hoping that she can curb her appetite for Pop Tarts smothered in Mac and Cheese this time around and hopefully she won't gestate this baby for 2 years like she did the last time. All that being said, I am happy for her. Well, I was until I heard her ask, "Is this a fetus what I have here or is it a big fart bubble?"

Just for old times sake:

Gavin Rossdale likes them manly...

2013-02-07T09:15:00.003-05:00

Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani have been together like, forever... and while that makes sense on one level I still have to wonder what is behind their relationship. Gavin was busted out in recent years for having a very long love affair with transgendered "singer" Marilyn way back in the day. He has said that he was "curious" and I say curiosity is a one time thing but whatever. Gwen has went on record saying that she piles on the makeup because Gavin likes her that way... I get that. Heavy makeup can hide a multitude of sins, for example a 5 o'clock shadow on a man pretending to be a woman. In any event, here is Gavin and Gwen out with one of their kids and Gwen is certainly dressed down in a very unfeminine outfit and I guess if that's okay with Gavin it's okay with me.

Michael Lohan's penis made another kid...

2013-01-31T09:05:00.001-05:00

This is actually horrible news if you have ever read anything about the relationship between Michael Lohan and Kate Major. These two are a match made in hell and actually they are perfect for each other however, now a poor defenseless child has been thrown into the mix. In about 17 years Landon Lohan will pop up on TMZ as being arrested and thrown into rehab because really, what other chance does the poor kid have? His father Michael is a notorious asshole and his mother Kate Major is a uproariously drunken mess. Their boozing, brawling and drug use has been covered by almost every publication known and even Dr. Phil has had the two on his show. Separately of course because at the time Kate had a restraining order on Michael. I do believe this is the 6th kid for Lohan (counting an illegitimate daughter from an affair) and the first (hopefully last) child for Kate. Let's all wish them well and raise a toast of Jack Daniels and a side of meth for their new little bundle of joy.

Hulk Hogan is only doing what comes naturally...

2013-01-30T09:23:00.005-05:00

So, everyone freaks out every time Hulk Hogan lusts after his daughter Brooke Hogan. First it was the lotion on Brook's ass incident and now it's the photo he posted captioned "Brooke's Legs". Why does this surprise and freak people out? Hulk is only following his natural instinct of being attracted to muscular blondes with legs like tree trunks and manly faces. After all... the true love of Hulk's life was Brutus the Barber Beefcake. Truth.

Justin Bieber touched a boob but may need to poop....

2013-01-30T09:15:00.000-05:00

So, Justin Bieber sort of touched a boob and a picture tells a story don't it? Poor Justin... he will do anything to gain a little street cred. From dressing in overalls at an inappropiate time, to racing around in his chrome mobile to smoking weed and killing paparazzi. Now we have a photo proving that Justin has finally made it to second base with a Selena Gomez look alike fan. What's next for Justin? Taking a shit in the back of a police car? Too late.... It's been done already today.

Miley Cyrus is better than Taylor Swift...

2013-01-30T09:03:00.000-05:00

Miley Cyrus has had a few racy photos "leak" out and yes, she likes to smoke the weed and has the voice of a truck driver on a long haul, jacked up on meth and greasy diner cuisine but she is way better than Taylor Swift. Any day, every day.

Kim Kardashian, oh no she didn't...

2013-01-01T08:58:00.002-05:00

Unless you live under a rock, in a cave, somewhere in the deep dark crevices of a third world country you have heard that Kim Kardashian is pregnant. Honestly, I was a tad bit surprised as I simply cannot imagine Kim having a baby. I mean, really? She couldn't keep a kitten alive let alone a human being. Hopefully Kim will realize that a child is not an accessory unlike her poor little kitty Mercy who met an untimely death after shedding all over Kim's Kayne approved wardrobe. The only way this poor kid will have a fighting chance is if Kim suddenly decides that she can love someone more than herself. I remember Kim flipping out over having to share a closet with Kris Humphries, her husband who by the way she is not divorced from yet. However, Kim is moving right along.... She is not only going to have to share her body as an incubator for 9 months she has signed on for a lifetime with person being that she cannot divorce or discard when she becomes bored with it. Hopefully she hires a few really great nannies that will give that baby as much love and attention as Kim lavishes on herself.

Claudia Galanti nipple see thru...

2013-01-01T08:12:00.001-05:00

Claudia Galanti looks doubly happy to have her photo taken. I had no clue who she was so I Googled her and she is a "Paraguayan model" ...she looks a little old to be a current cover girl judging by the wrinkles around her eyes but that could just be an indirect result of the lip fillers pulling all of the gravity down from her face into her mouth and landing that lip across her teeth like a nasty, slimy slug. Anyway, here is Claudia Galanti is a black wife beater that became transparent under the photographers flash and gave us this full-on boob shot. Enjoy.

Ashley Tisdale side boob photo...

2013-01-01T08:02:00.004-05:00

We haven't heard much from Ashley Tisdale lately, hence the side boob photo. Everyone who is anyone knows that a little T&A goes a long way. Ashley has a perky little butt too. The shoes are pretty gnarly and remind me of old school 80's Reeboks but who's looking at her feet anyway?

Top celebrities and their affairs...

2012-12-18T09:09:00.001-05:00

The celebrities are well known and high profile people, who belong to different sectors including, film, sports, politics and fashion. These people are often watched by the media and the world. With money and fame in their destinies, they are seen getting indulged in a number of good and bad acts, which are reported by all forms of media. In the list of so many celebrities, you could find a number of them getting involved in different affairs which emerge out as scandals and controversies. So, let’s check out some of the top celebrities and their known affairs discussed in the media.

Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky

The former president of United States was popular for his extra marital affair in his presidential tenure with an intern at White House called Monica Lewinsky. In the year 1995, Monica was hired in White House as intern, and later in the same year, she developed a relationship with the president. The news of this illegitimate relationship with the president was followed by an investigation, where he was proved guilty with the number of proofs submitted by Monica. This political sex scandal remained in the media, which finally led the impeachment of President Clinton in the year 1998 by the US House of Representatives.

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie

Though Brad Pitt was seen claiming that he never cheated Jennifer Aniston (his ex wife) and called his affair a dastard one, yet the fact remains the same that he had an affair with the Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie. The duo indulged in love over the movie set called as Mr. and Mrs. Smith when Brad was already married to Jennifer. Their affair is among the most discussed news item in the media as both of them formed a very cute couple and still is often heard and read in various media whenever celebrity affairs are discussed.

Shania Twain and Robert M Lange

Though this affair of Shania Twain was seemed incredible even to imagine by her fans, yet was seen a big shock for everyone when the superstar declared to end her marriage with Robert Mutt Lange a music producer. The couple had a beautiful 14 year long marriage, which, however, came to an end when both of these started their own affair. Lange started dating Marie Anne Thiebaud, while Shania surprisingly was seen with Frederic who happened to be the ex husband of Thiebaud. This mutual couple exchange remained a hyped affair in the list of celebrity affairs.

David Letterman and his Employees

David Letterman had his 23 years of marriage with his wife Regina Lasko but was seen indulged in some workplace sex affair. This late show host was seen romancing with his own staffers and later was seen confessing in a late night TV show about sleeping with number of women at his office. As per reports, he had his private bedroom suite just above the Ed Sullivan Theater where he slept with multiple women seen over her workplace.

David Beckham

In April 2004, the affair of David Beckham with Rebecca Loos was seen making headlines in the media, which made all his fans frenzy about this revelation. Loos was hired as Beckham’s PA, when the superstar was seen moving to Milan. The couple was seen outrageously flirting with each other when they were captured by a mobile camera; Loos was seen claiming that the couple had good extra marital action. Also a number of sexy texts were seen coming into the media, which the duo exchanged with other.

Final word

The affairs, in which the celebrities get indulged are difficult to hide, as they have a gyge fan following and lots of camera to scan their actions in their personal and professional lives. These are just a tip of an iceberg, which is discussed in this piece with lots of lots more to come.

About The Author: Margaret is a writer/blogger. She loves writing travelling and reading books. She contributes in Homes By Vanderbuilt. Her contribution can be also found here Homes By Vanderbuilt.

Paris Hilton is still a whore in a swim suit...

2012-12-10T10:18:00.001-05:00

What ever happened to Paris Hilton? She had such a promising career going there for a while, right?
Her fabulous reality show, fashionable attire and amazing friends. After all, she is the one who launched Kim Kardashian into super stardom and humbled Fire Crotch Lindsay Lohan. Seriously. Not really.

Paris has had a parade of boyfriends that would make a porn star look like a virgin. Her bedroom door works like a clown car. How many guys has this girl "dated?" Hundreds? Her crotch is so busted... I bet screwing Paris Hilton would be not unlike giving a Tic Tac to a whale. Or tossing a brick into the Grand Canyon. Throwing a hot dog down a hallway? You get my drift.

Anyway, here is Paris soaking up the sun, on vacation from her vacation. Of course her bathing suit top is slipping precariously low and she needs her boyfriend to remind her to pull it back up and hand her a pair of sunglasses that I'm sure cost more than most people's grocery bill for a year.

Yeah, I miss Paris Hilton. Don't you?

Lenny Kravitz could not care less about Demi Moore...

2012-12-10T10:03:00.000-05:00

Demi Moore is so ridic. Here she is dancing in a onesie next to Lenny Kravitz who looks less than thrilled to be there, let alone having his photo taken with a train wreck such as Demi Moore. I don't see any meth pipes or rails of coke laid out on the coffee table so I am guessing that Demi made a quick trip to the potty and came back out to bust her old lady moves on Lenny. The only thing more sad than her cellulite ridden thighs is the fact that she is the only one dancing which is what happens when the only music playing is the soundtrack to your busted career spinning on a loop in your drug addled head.

Jessica Simpson hasn't figured it out yet...

2012-12-10T09:56:00.002-05:00

So, I am hearing that Jessica Simpson is pregnant again. I wonder if she even knows what causes that? She is probably one of those girls who think if you jump up and down after sex you can shake those pesky little sperms right out of your vagina. More likely though, is that she believed the age old lie that you can't get pregnant while breast feeding.

Weight Watchers is pissed off at her because she didn't lose the baby weight fast enough. In fact, I only saw one WW commercial that she filmed before her big "reveal" and it was a head shot. She's been photographed since then and she looks pretty good to me. It ain't easy coming back after gaining that much weight during a pregnancy. Some girls see a fetus as a license to eat. Totally not worth it. Hopefully she'll reign in her impulsive cravings this time around and be a little more sensible but I doubt it. The words "sense" and Jessica Simpson just don't jive.

Courtney Stodden is a real doll...

2012-12-04T10:50:00.000-05:00

Courtney Stodden has come a long way in her 18 years and she looks it. Seems like she has crammed about 48 years into that small time frame. She sure as hell looks different these days and I have to wonder if Doug Hutchinson is some type of youth stealing vampire. I'll admit, Doug was kind of good looking back in the day. Way back. Dude is now 50 something and has hooked his star to Courtney like a fading comet on a crash course to old age. Courtney on the other hand is fading fast and she sort of looks like one of those realistic sex dolls in the above photo.

Some day soon Courtney's looks will fade, Doug will suck her dry and leave her in a dumpster looking a lot like a old blow up doll.

Once Courtney is all used up Doug will rapidly and suddenly age into looking something like this guy who is keeping it real by giving his love wand to a blow up pig which is not far from where Doug and Courtney (Dourtney) are right about now.

Taylor Swift is a big fat whore...

2012-12-04T10:34:00.004-05:00

Taylor Swift switches guys faster than I can switch the channel away from those Real Housewives. Speaking of "house wife" I think Taylor's goal in life is to land a guy that she can make babies with, divorce and write another ~~pathetic~~ amazing album and sell millions because people really relate to Taylor's life of dating, ditching and damning every unfortunate guy who manages to take a stroll with her.

Now she is dating Harry Styles from One Direction, hot on the heels of her broken romance with that Kennedy teenager. Maybe I'd have more interest in Taylor if she drunkenly staggered out of a club, fell flat on her face and spilled her Chanel bag full of drugs while gracing us with a nip slip/up-skirt.