Celebrity Secrets

Celebrity Secrets Move to Spylicious.com

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 10:09:00 -0700

Celebrity Secrets Move to

Spylicious.com

Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend is Prince Charming

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 11:33:00 -0700

Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend snowboarder Riley Giles was apparently engaged when he started dating Lindsay. So how did Riley break things off with his fiancee? Simple, he didn’t. Nice, I love that approach. Keeps things mysterious. For her anyway, while you do other chicks. Of course it helps to pick one that’s not, I dunno, constantly photographed by the paparazzi. NY Daily News reports:

And poor Bree Tierney of Murray, Utah, found out he'd moved on from the tabloids.

"Riley just stopped calling Bree and never told her about Lindsay," her mom, Tess, told Us Weekly. "She found out by seeing photos. It destroyed her."

But, besides lacking a pair of balls, Riley is respectful towards Lindsay’s alcoholism:

"They did meet once and had sodas at a hotel bar, but they quickly realized it was not the right place to be," a friend tells us. "Lindsay is sticking to the program."

I see nothing out of the ordinary here. Boy meets girl. Boy and girl gets engaged. Boy meets another girl with large breasts, drug and alcohol problems and Daddy issues. Boy realizes he can do lots of naked stuff with new girl. Boy abandons fiancee by never calling her again. Boy and new girl get photographed 24/7. Same old tune, just different characters. It's about as American as apple pie.

Post by thesuperficial

Matt Damon Gets Love From Japan

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 11:24:00 -0700

Here Matt Damon is enjoying a stroll through Japan's Narita airport and is greeted by a throng of fans. He looks happy to be receiving some love from the public and yes, he's cute and all, but he's starting to look like such a dad to me. I probably just think that, though, because my dad also liked to dress like an off-duty Secret Service agent--albeit, not quite as stylishly as Mr. Damon here. I have to say, I usually give celebs shit for either dressing up or down way too much while they travel in public, but I think Matt really has found the happy medium. Kudos, Matt. I'm sure you're very relieved to hear that you've received my approval.

Post at socialitelife

Britney Spears to Be ‘Healed’ by Shamen

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 11:10:00 -0700

Britney Spears is going to be HEALED! Apparently, when a judge decided that a red neck, wigger was the lesser of two evils and gave K-FED custody of her two children, Britney decided it was time to take the matter to the Lord. Or Indian spirit. Or something.

[She] is said to have organised the meeting with a head shaman near a reservation at the base of America’s Grand Canyon.

A source said: “The head shaman has agreed to perform the ritual on Britney, which is a great honour.

“The shaman will wave sage over her head and daub her temples with a magical potion. And the learned Indians will chant mantra and perform a special dance around her.”

Then they will add some nice chicken stock and a bouquet garnis to the pot, spatchcock her plump body and add a little ‘essence’. BAM!

Post by fatbackandcollards

Charlize Theron Is Welcome in My Shower Anytime

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 07:22:00 -0700

And there we have it folks–Esquire Magazine’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” for 2007 is Charlize Theron. I could go on and on about how hot she is, but I know that you just want to see the pictures to fantasize over. To that end, Charlize has provided the fodder for your perversions. Have at it!

Post by fatbackandcollards

Um. Okay. I’m listening.

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Tue, 9 Oct 2007 10:19:00 -0700

So it’s slow and I’m hungover so you get a GD linkpost and some old caps of Christina Aguilera nude in a perfume ad. See how I put Christina Aguilera and nude together in the same sentence? That’s called SEO and it pays the bill, baby. Speaking of paying the bills. WTF is this commercial selling? From what I can tell it’s perfume that makes you more of a whore. Well, sir. You win.

Post by fatbackandcollards

Apparently It Was Couples Flat-Ironing Night . . .

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Tue, 9 Oct 2007 10:09:00 -0700

Like your average 15 year old, I <3 Pete Wentz. Only I’m not 15 so it’s quite possible that I have a serious problem being that I really do have a crush on the seemingly tortured, emo boy who is skinnier than I am. Anyway, Ashlee Simpson snagged my Pete away about a year ago and since then I’ve been okay with it since they do make a cute couple, plus as far as talentless starlets he could have done a hell of a lot worse.

Anyway, Ashlee and Pete are innocuously cute without being sickening . . . until now. Look at their matching coifs! These pictures inspire fantasy conversations between the two in which Pete’s stylist asks Ashlee’s stylist to borrow her flat iron. Or, maybe, to create economies of scale they just share the same stylist. Whatever the case, neither one of their dos at Moveline’s Hollywood Life Style Awards is flattering. And together they are just plain ridiculous.

Post by fatbackandcollards

Anna Kournikova Is a Breath of Fresh Air

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Tue, 9 Oct 2007 09:50:00 -0700

Pretty soon I’m going to hire Chris Crocker to make a video for me in which he will beg the print, television, and web media to leave Miss Lennox alone with their goddamn 24-7 coverage of Britney’s every Taco Bell stop and hoo-ha flashing. I’m over Britney. I’m sick of nothing but Britney on every web page I view!!!

Thankfully the pretty and sane Anna Kournikova presented herself in a bikini top and form-fitting lounge pants this weekend, and I have a tiny Britney break and a nice piece of flesh to look at on-line. Plus, Anna’s not a Hollywood Bimbette. In fact, the only stupid thing she’s ever done was date and continue to date that douchebag Enrique Iglesias. I mean seriously, what do you see in a guy who friggin’ tells the news media that he needs extra-small condoms?!? Note, not “Small,” but “Extra-Small.” Jesus, I want to vomit thinking about his 3.5″ chili pepper! Aye, conyo!

But anyway, Anna K’s body is ridiculously tight and toned so please enjoy these pics of her . . . despite Douchebag Iglesias ruining some of them.

Post by fatbackandcollards

Britney Spears is Really Smart

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 02:37:00 -0700

Britney Spears has left executives at her label, Jive Records, stunned after she backed out of a Timbaland produced duet with ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake. The song, which the label hoped would serve as the comeback Britney is looking for, was to be performed at this years VMA’s. Sources can offer no explanation other than Britney Spears is a fucking retard:

“Timbaland set aside a week out of his crazy schedule to do this - and then, just before she was supposed to fly out, Britney abruptly canceled the session and refused to do the song. “It’s crazy,” the insider added. “She’s looking for a comeback, and this would have not only been a huge hit, but something she could have opened the MTV Video Awards with and really blown everyone away.” Another insider said, “Listen, everyone is worried. In her mind, her album is done and she’s done enough work . . . She’s an easy target right now, because she’s . . . sick. People like her are sick. It’s like an anorexic who’s sick in the head and needs help. She needs help. It’s sad because what she’s got - and we’ve heard it’s like bipolar disorder - can easily be treated with medication, but she won’t do it.”

Of course Britney was going to fuck this up. It’s Britney. She’s probably recorded 12 songs about cigarettes and pie. And Slim Jims. It’s pretty safe to say that I’d rather listen to firetrucks at an orphanage than anything on this idiot’s album.

Hayden Panettierre has milk

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 02:33:00 -0700

Well it’s refreshing to see that advertisers have decided to go the high road and not take a barely legal teenager and exploit her using sexually suggestive imagery with and try to mitigate it with a ridiculous sappy tagline. Except, OHMYGOD not really. What the hell? An alter boy with a priest’s nutsack in his mouth isn’t this suggestive. Instead of Got Milk?, it should be Got Facial, Lolita?

Britney Spears Topless In Allure Magazine

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 02:26:00 -0700

Except not really. No photoshop here right? I’ve seen more realistic photos in the Weekly World News. Like that bat kid that decided have sex with the fattest lady ever and they were friends with JFK and Hitler and when they went outside to look for el chupacabra, the clouds were shaped like the devil? The DEVIL. Makes you think.

Anna Kournikova bikini slip because its summertime

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Tue, 28 Aug 2007 02:00:00 -0700

Yep its summer. I'm drunk and I stopped watching Extra and Access Hollywood. I have no idea what’s going on with Britney, Lindsay or Paris. And I don’t give a shit. Pop culture has become so blase to me that I won’t even stop to put the accent ague on it. Paris is out of jail, Lindsay is in rehab, Amy Winehouse is in rehab, Angelina wants a new baby. Brains = blown out of skull.

Christina Aguilera gets Naked for the Lord

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Fri, 9 Feb 2007 05:36:00 -0800

Christina Aguilera recently told talk show host Ellen DeGeneres that she and husband Jordan Bratman keep their marriage spicy by being entirely naked on Sundays.

"We have something called naked Sundays."

"Excuse me?" DeGeneres asks. "Did you say naked Sundays?"

"You have to keep marriage alive, spice it up," says Aguilera, admitting that some added heat is required even though the two have only been married for "a big whole year."

"[In November] we just celebrated our first anniversary, and on Sundays we just do everything in the house, and we're just cozy and laid back," she says. "We don't need to go anywhere, we're just with each other." We do everything naked. We cook naked."

That is simultaneously the best and worst news I have ever heard. On one hand you have Christina Aguilera frolicking naked like a pixie witch in defiance of the Lord and the Sabbath, and on the other hand she's getting man handled the whole time by a ham fisted creature from middle earth. It's a heart-rending dichotomy- that at once personifies true beauty and true evil - which unceasingly burdens your soul. Kinda like feeling razor stubble when that hot chick you met at the cowboy bar goes down on you. Here's Christina at Hyde on Puxatawny Phil Day.

Source: fatback and collards

Lindsay Lohan Confused About Rehab

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Fri, 9 Feb 2007 05:34:00 -0800

Lindsay Lohan is apparently not taking well to rehab at the Wonderland Rehabilitation facility in LA where she entered into a program for "addictions" earlier this month. Us Weekly got glimpse of a text message that she sent to Brody Jenner from the inside.

We've eye-balled one particularly flirtatious sext-message that Lohan sent Jenner - former flame of Kristin Cavallari, Nicole Richie and Lauren Conrad - last Saturday night in which the 12-stepper, among other requests, texted that all she wanted was "McDonald's and sex."

Wait? She's in rehab? I thought she was coming and going as she pleases, eating what she wants , doing drugs and drinking straight vodka at dance parties. That's only rehab if you're the Zodiac killer.

Source: fatback and collards

Supernova Failed To Reach Critical Mass

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Fri, 9 Feb 2007 05:15:00 -0800

Reality show supergroup offspring Supernova didn't make the headlines quite as planned. In fact their flaccidly hyped album, which should have been a rock icon wet dream, failed to break thorugh the Billboard Top 100 this week. Supenova. the bell tolls for thee. Jugga junn junn. Jugga junn JUNN.

Rock Star: Supernova, the latest spawn of reality guru Mark Burnett's Rock Star franchise, had all the earmarks of a true supergroup - members from Motley Crue, Metallica and Guns N' Roses; a high-profile personality in drummer Tommy Lee; and a predecessor in INXS, whose "Rock Star" success with lead singer, J.D. Fortune, garnered a Top 20 album and a sold-out tour.

The reason Supernova didn't flourish is simple: they bumped out ultra hot rockers Storm Large and Dilana. Those girls were smokin' hot and both look like they could handle themselves in a fight and could get rid of a body if neceesary. Even if their music sucked, who wouldn't pay to watch them crawl around on stage in black leather, low-cut tees and wildly colored hair singing distressed tunes of love unrequited. Hell, I'd pay to see them fight. Everyone loves a good chick fight. Rrreow.

Source: fatback and collards

Courtney Love to Judge American Idol

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Wed, 7 Feb 2007 07:08:00 -0800

American Idol is getting a new judge. Amidst rumors that vehemently crazy dingdong Paula Abdul may be getting fired, Courtney Love has officially announced that she will be a judge on the hit reality show this season.

Love reveals to her favorite magazine Web site that Idol's executive producer Nigel Lythgoe called her office last week inquiring into whether she would be interested in sitting in as a judge on the hit FOX show.

"He called," Love tells Usmagazine.com. "He was wondering if I was interested. I thought it was kind of weird but brilliant."

Another source from the catacombs under my house revealed that Nigel Lythgoe is actually Lord Voldemort and that this is all part of his deadly endgame. Asking Courtney Love to judge a singing contest makes about as much sense as asking her not to eat buckets of drugs or be a hideous hag who won't stop unfurling her vagina parts in front of live audiences.

There was a time when Courtney Love was pretty hot and damn right do-able. Wait. I mean, OH MY GOD DON'T HURT ME. I tried to find some non-crazy images of Courtney Love, but after about 9 seconds Googling I went fucking insane and killed my neighbor with a can of anchovies packed in olive oil. To be fair, he was kind of a dick. I need a nap because my eyes are burning with the flames of hellfire.

Source: fatback and collards

Katharine McPhee is a Hooker

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Wed, 7 Feb 2007 06:50:00 -0800

...or at least those boots are. Damn Girl. Thats's the album cover for Krazy Kat's new album, which drops today and is filed under the genres of "Sucks" and "Who Cares". And don't be thinking I'm some kind of Kat Hater or Talyor Hicks luvah. I just hate shitty music.

I'm quite sure I defied the laws of physics trying to see under Katharine's dress. But I have an eerie feeling when I got under there, I'd find a chastity belt of pure American steel that reads, "Not this rainbow, fucker" then she'd summon the scientology aliens to leave me in a lust-induced coma and walk away with my wallet. That's the mark of a pure sexpot. Lure you in then stab you right in the balls. Aside from that, my only complaint is lack of plunging neckline and copious cleavage. If you got it, flaunt it, sista. I know I do.

More of that DYN-O-MITE cleave.

Tara Conner is a Quitter

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Wed, 7 Feb 2007 06:50:00 -0800

Miss America and former party girl Tara Conner is out of rehab and into spinning some PR. Matt Lauer of the Today Show will get the only scheduled live interview on Thursday and a taped interview for Dateline will air Thursday night. In a pre-interview statement picked up by E! news, Tara expounds on being a role model, finding inner peace and her stint in rehab.

''I would not change my past, because it gave me my future,'' she told NBC News in preparation for her chat with Lauer. ''I learned the tools to live a clean and sober life of recovery. From rehab, I gain sobriety.''

Fuck that. She's a 21 year old religiously oppressed southern girl with a great rack and an appetite for destruction. Of course she partied when she got to the big city. That's what they do. Sending a horny 21 year old model to rehab for sex and drugs is like cutting off a unicorn's horn and stabbing him in the eye with it. Then giving him an eye-patch to wear so he thinks that maybe, just maybe, you didn't really mean to do it. Then you laugh at him in front of the other mythical beasts. And he just cries silent tears from his one good eye that hit the ground and turn into black rainbows of dispair as the magic leaves this world forever. Because he's a pussy.

Source: fatback and collards

Better than Paris Hilton again? Really?

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Wed, 7 Feb 2007 06:49:00 -0800

Paris Hilton never ceases to 1. amaze me, b. be naked, or Stardate 2517.09. be a filthy spoiled whore. That said, I think if she were held a little more as a child she probably wouldn't be such a drugged out whore. She would just be a plain old vanilla whore like the rest of us. Speaking of filthy vanilla whores, here's an oldie but nudey pic of Paris's’s's's mom classin' up tha jizzoint with some Baby Boomer titties. Rrreow. I love Cat Stevens. And apostrophes'.

Source: fatback and collards

Lindsay Lohan Does Miu Miu

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 06:09:00 -0800

I'm a big fan of Lindsay Lohan. I know there are a ton of haters out there, but I'm not one of them. I think she's one of the hottest celebrities around. Especially when she's showing cleavage. Here she is in a stunning Miu Miu ad campaign looking as cute as a manga doll.

Source: Popoholic

Olivia Wilde Is Very Convincing

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 05:53:00 -0800

I first noticed the stunning Olivia Wilde on The OC, where she played Mischa Barton's blonde lesbian lover. Off to a good start right? She then caught my eye stripping down to her birthday suit in Alpha Dog (only good part of the film btw). So posting these pictures of her were inevitable. Enjoy.

Source: Popoholic

Can You Guess Which One Is Keira Knightley?

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Mon, 29 Jan 2007 05:08:00 -0800

Here are some Keira Knightley bikini pictures... now it's up to you to guess which one is Keira and which one is her boyfriend.

Really, you're not seeing double. I swear, one is a guy and one is girl... though it's hard to tell which is which. So there you have it. For any of you that were curious to know what Keria would look like as a boy, enjoy these photos - just don't blame me if you accidentally get wood from looking at the wrong person.

Source: Hollywoodtuna

Tricia Helfer in Playboy

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:56:00 -0800

Sci-Fi star Trisha Helfer sets aside the "Six-y" Cylon world to pose for Playboy. See what I did there? Who says girls can’t love sci-fi?

Tricia Helfer plays an evil machine on " Battlestar Galactica," but the sexy Cylon may cause her fans to short-circuit when they see the latest edition of Playboy.

" I hope people like them," Helfer told The Post of her 10-page nude pictorial shot by famed shutterbug Sante D'Orazio. " I know I do."

I'm not surprised.It's always the unsuspecting ones, like the Sci-Fi chick, or the Catholic school English teacher, the burger joint French fry queen…your mom. Trekkie convention is just a glorified name for orgy and Deep Space Nine sounds like low-budget porn on Cinemax After Dark (PPV!). And the Twelve Colonies of Kobol are simply nudist, self-indulgent, hedonistic havens. Regardless, Trisha's hot and I would park my Enterprise in her Final Frontier any day. Let's just say I'll take a ' NumberSix' with '7 of 9' any day. I don't know, whatever, just go with it. Nerd. Get your game hand ready, here’s more science fictionly cyborg semi-nakedness. By the way, these photos are not from Playboy.

Source: fatback and collards

Britney Spears Should Go to Rehab

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Sun, 28 Jan 2007 07:45:00 -0800

Kevin Federline has begged estranged wife Britney Spears to go into rehab,
it has been reported.

The wannabe rapper - who split from Britney last November after two years of
marriage - has been trying to persuade the singer to clean up her life and
threatened to take their two sons away from her.

A source told America's Star magazine: "Kevin has tried to convince Britney
to check herself into rehab from every possible angle. First he tried
threatening to take away the kids, and then he tried pleading with her to
take care of herself."

Kevin, 28, has even joined forces with Britney's mother Lynne in a
last-ditch attempt to convince Britney to be a better mother to 16-month-old
Sean Preston and four-month-old Jayden James.

The source added: "Kevin is afraid that Britney is going to hurt herself.

"Britney isn't spending enough time with the kids. They are being raised by
strangers. He has told Britney to get help before it's too late."

Meanwhile, Britney, 25, has ended her relationship with Isaac Cohen.

The 'Toxic' singer, who began dating the Los Angeles model just two weeks
ago, announced they are no longer a couple.

When questioned about her romance, Britney said: "We're not together
anymore, by the way."

hollywoodrag

Victoria Beckham Will Soon Be A Reality?

noreply@blogger.com (janangel) — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 05:53:00 -0800

David and Victoria Beckham are being lined up as the new Osbournes after America's Fox TV network offered them their own show. The couple, who are due to move to the States within months after David signed a multi-million dollar deal with the Los Angeles Galaxy football team, are said to be considering the offer. The show provisionally titled Living with the Beckhams – would follow the couple as they take their first steps in the US.

You all know how much I love Victoria Beckham and knowing that she's considering doing a reality show has got me into a frenzy. I'm so used to seeing still photographs of her, that I don't know if I'll be able to handle actual TV footage. A Victoria Beckham reality show means that we'll get to see her breasts in full motion for a full half hour. Now, I don't know how much they'll move (they look pretty solid to me) but it will be interesting to find out on a weekly basis.

Source: Hollywoodtuna