Joining the line-up is veteran French actress Emmanuelle Riva, who at 85 is the oldest actress ever nominated for the coveted accolade. At the other far end of the age range is Quvenzhane Wallis, the American child actress, who has been nominated for her role in Beasts of the Southern Wild and at just 9-years old, is youngest actress ever to receive a nomination for the Academy Award for Best Actress. However Jennifer Lawrences critically acclaimed performance in Silver Linings Playbook looks set beat the competition and scoop the prize judging by betting odds.
This years strong crop makes predicting the winning actress even more difficult, since before the grand ceremony has been televised the results have been kept under lock and key. But, the odds provided by betting websites often accurately lean towards the winners, and with only just under 6-000 voting members of the AMPAS, most of whom are located in LA, the favourites can be heard along the grapevine by those in the city with the connections. Predicting an Oscar win can help the nominated actresses prepare for elation or disappointment, for Oscar fans, betting on the Oscar winners can add to the excitement of the event.

If I had my choice between Morena Baccarin or Cobie Smulders for the role of Maria Hill in “The Avengers“, I’da chosen Morena simply because she looks like she can pull off the role better than Cobie did. But it didn’t happen so what do I fuckin’ know, right?

The Homeland starlet appears in the October issue of Esquire USA (with Clint Eastwood on the cover) for their “Women We Love” series where she talks about loving “succulent” things.

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The last time I saw a photo of Hayden, she was all chunky monkey fat. All those years of not doing anything since the cancellation of Heroes really took it’s toll. But I guess she lost most of that chunky fat cuz now she’s on the cover of the October issue of Women’s Health talking about make-up tips and not eating salty foods and all that other stupid weight-loss shit.

There’s only one new pic in the mag and I didn’t feel like doing the rest, so just buy it and read it for yourself when it comes out in two weeks.

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Boys and girls, there used to be a time in America when former Pornstar Jenna Jameson wasn’t getting into car crashes or getting DUI’s or getting into scuffles with her husband. There was also a time when Jenna didn’t look like a surgical nightmare, too. But, in her defense, at least she hasn’t gotten all God-head or become some Born again Christian cuz she still seems to enjoy the flaunting her poontang (or whatever’s left of it anyway).

Case in point, Jenna was in Las Vegas over the Labor Day weekend hosting a party at the Crazy Horse III, a special little Gentlemen’s Club that specializes in VIP service, wink wink. It’s just too bad she doesn’t strip anymore, unlike her other peers like Tera Patrick. Maybe one day…..

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I like Ashley Greene. In Pictures. I’ve yet to like her in any of her movies, though. For her new flick, “The Apparition”, Ashley plays some girl in some horror movie who has to do a few scenes in her underwear. Cuz no horror movie would complete without the blatant and unnecessary bits of female semi-nudity, right? Hey, even if the movie stinks (which I’m very sure it will), I can just freeze frame the good parts of her ass and ignore the rest of this movie.

In an unusually uncommon move, Ashley’s premiere for her newest scare flick was held last night at the Grauman’s Chinese Theater in Hollywood, a full 24 hours before the flick’s nationwide release. But, then again, it’s probably common that the movie will still suck. Bring on that next Twilight movie!

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Although the tragedy in Aurora sent shockwaves through the movie community, it didn’t stop me from going to the movies to watch TDKR in IMAX. I refuse to live in fear of an idiot asshole wannabe Emo-psychopath! That being said, to those of you that are not sure about going to the movies this weekend but still want to know all the details of TDKR, look no further. I will provide details of most of the important plotpoints relating to the Nolan Batman trilogy.

If you DO plan on seeing TDKR, I suggest not reading the article because of rampant spoilers, otherwise, click below to get started!

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–CONNECTION TO “BATMAN BEGINS”
In the first film, the League Of Shadows helped train Bruce Wayne into the warrior he is with the help of Ra’s Al Ghul (Liam Neeson). They make it known to Wayne that they want him to destroy Gotham, although he refuses to do so. Later in that film, Ra’s Al Ghul returns to Gotham to destroy it using a microwave emitter. For TDKR, Bane arrives into Gotham to continue the plan of the League Of Shadows. Ra’s Al Ghul makes a very short appearance in Bruce’s dream

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–CONNECTION TO “THE DARK KNIGHT”
The events with the Joker and Harvey Dent result in Batman taking the blame for Harvey’s death. In TDKR, Commissioner Gordon has to live up to that lie even though it eats away at his conscience. Unfortunately, the Joker, the Mob, and all the events the Joker triggered are never mentioned.

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–DOES BRUCE FIND OUT THE TRUTH ABOUT RACHEL?
At the end of TDK, Alfred burns the letter that Rachel wrote to Bruce about wanting to marry Harvey Dent. In TDKR, Alfred finally tells Bruce the truth about Rachel resulting in Bruce condemning Alfred.

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–WHO IS MIRANDA TATE?
Early in the film, it is established that Miranda is a wealthy heiress that wants to help Bruce Wayne fund a “clean energy” source. After Bane cleans out Bruce’s funds from the stock exchange heist, Bruce appoints Miranda to take over Wayne Enterprises (much to the dismay of some other lesser characters).

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–WHAT IS SELINA KYLE’S ALLIANCE?
Throughout the movie, Selina seems to know about where to find Bane yet Bane never has any actual scenes with her. And since they never have any scenes together, it is difficult to determine if Selina was ever a part of Bane’s crew or if she just somehow knew where to find him.

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–HOW DOES BANE DEFEAT BATMAN?
After Selina delivers Batman to Bane, they end up in a brutal hand-to-hand fistfight that results in Bane doing exactly what he did in the “Knightfall” graphic novel: he breaks Batman’s back. He then takes Bruce to “The Pit” as a way to psychologically scar Bruce as he destroys Gotham.

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–DOES GOTHAM EVER FIND OUT ABOUT WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO HARVEY DENT?
In TDKR, Commissioner Gordon keeps a written letter in his jacket that tells the full truth about the events that transpired with Harvey. When Gordon gets captured by Bane, Bane takes the letter from Gordon’s jacket and then reads it out loud to the Gotham media in a later scene.

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–IS JONATHAN CRANE IN THE MOVIE?
Yes, everyone’s favorite doctor, the Scarecrow, makes a cameo appearance in the film. Unfortunately, he does NOT don the Scarecrow mask.

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–HOW DOES BANE MEET HIS DEMISE?
During Batman’s rematch with Bane, Batman ends up puncturing a part of Bane’s mask resulting in Bane getting weakened, although he doesn’t die. But Bane “dies” when Selina blasts him using the guns from the Batpod.

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–BANE IS NOT THE MASTERMIND OF “THE DARK KNIGHT RISES”
Believe it or not, this is the part of the entire story of TDKR that really disappoints me! Bane has been promoted as the most brutal and evil villain of the trilogy yet once it is revealed that Bane was NOT the mastermind of everything in TDKR, it makes him more of a brutish pawn than the smart evil villain that the trailers make him out to be

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–SO WHO IS THE MASTERMIND OF TDKR?
It turns out that Miranda Tate is the mastermind! After Batman weakens Bane, Miranda stabs Batman and reveals that she is actually Talia Al Ghul, daughter of Ra’s Al Ghul. She had planned the entire thing all along and Bane was only carrying out the League Of Shadows agenda in her (fake) stead. In essence, this means that while Bane did all the hard work, he was never the smart villain like the Joker.

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–WHAT IS JOHN BLAKE’S PART IN THE ENDING?
It is revealed at the very end of the film that John Blake’s first name is actually Robin. While this aspect might sound exciting considering that Blake might become THE Robin, all comic geeks know that Robin is Dick Grayson not John Blake. Nolan makes an open-ended ending to show that Blake may take over for Bruce in future installments.

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I enjoyed “The Dark Knight Rises” but it didn’t have the same spark that made the second film a masterpiece. While Bane is a worthy villain, the fact that he was only a pawn to Talia Al Ghul all along does make him less interesting than the Joker. Considering that the Joker was a raving lunatic that broke Batman’s soul, all Bane did was break Batman’s back. If Talia Al Ghul were not part of the picture, it would’ve made all the scenes with Bane more terrifying. Regardless of my little quibble about Bane, the movie itself is better than “Batman Begins” and gives the audience one hell of a ride with a nice happy ending for everyone.

The world premiere for “The Dark Knight Rises” was held in the NYC last night and (almost) all the major players from the flick were in attendance including Christian Bale, Tom Hardy, Anne Hathaway, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Marion Cotillard, Morgan Freeman, Gary Oldman, and director Chris Nolan.

After the premiere, the cast strutted down the the NY Public Library (yeah, I don’t get it, either) to hold the afterparty where everyone got smashed! Check it out!

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The new Spider-Man reboot flick is here and it pretty much just tells a less interesting version of the story done by Tobey Maguire back in 2002. That being said, the latest Spidey flick incorporates more comic book elements and doesn’t try to rush itself like the first one (although it may be one of it’s weaker points, story-wise).

Wanna know what most of the differences are between the 2002 and 2012 flick? Click below for (most) of the details but remember, SPOILERS AHEAD if you didn’t catch the reboot yet! (Just note that it’s been years since I’ve seen the first Tobey Spidey flick, so my memory is a bit rusty and creaky, so bear with me if I make a few errors to the Tobey flick.)

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–THE RADIOACTIVE SPIDER
In the Tobey Spidey version, Peter Parker is bitten by a radioactive spider at the labs at Oscorp. In the reboot, Peter is bitten by a spider but it is never mentioned that the spiders were radioactive.

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–THE SPIDER BITE
In the original version, Parker was bitten on the finger. In the reboot, Parker is bitten in the back of the neck. But unlike the original, Parker actually finds the spider and then keeps it in a souvenir glass (as shown to Gwen Stacy later in the film).

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–SPIDEY SENSE AND POWERS
After the Tobey Spidey was bitten, he passes out and then wakes up the next day to a few enhancements to his body. He notices that is vision is better, his body has gotten more ripped, can climb walls, and develops organic webslingers in his wrists. For the reboot, the transformation is almost instant though Parker shows no sign of physical transformations. He gains super strength and can climb walls but does NOT develop organic webslingers in his body, which he then manually creates with a device using Oscorp technology (though he still wears eyeglasses in some scenes afterwards). He learns about his new powers almost instantly as he defends himself from a few rowdy men inside a subway car.

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–WHERE IS HARRY AND NORMAN OSBORN?
Throughout the first three Spidey films, Harry and Norman are vital to Spidey’s storyline. Harry was Peter’s friend throughout high school and college and was the one that dated Mary Jane at first. Norman Osborn is the owner of Oscorp who then becomes the Green Goblin. For the reboot, Harry is nowhere to be found, making Parker a loner for most of the film (although he does have a love-hate relationship with Flash Thompson). Also, Norman Osborn is mentioned several times in the reboot film but is never seen and is said to be “dying”, although it is never revealed as to what Norman is dying from.

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–GWEN VERSUS MARY JANE
Mary Jane was introduced almost instantly in the Tobey Spidey flick, red hair and all. MJ was written a budding actress that had a day job at some local diner. For the reboot, Gwen Stacy is the chosen love interest (which is true to the comic book canon) and is revealed to be working under an internship at the Oscorp labs under Dr. Curt Connors.

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–DR. CURT CONNORS
The second Tobey Spidey flick introduced Curt Connors (AKA The Lizard) as an American doctor and made a few hints as to his transformation as the Lizard, although nothing came to fruition in those films. For the reboot, Dr. Connors is a one-armed British scientist looking for a cure for regenerating human cells. After Parker gives him the solution for regenerating cells, Connors is adamant about not wanting to try testing the serum on humans but, after getting fired, he injects the serum on himself which succeeds in growing his arm but also turning him into the Lizard.

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–PETER PARKER’S PARENTS
Parker’s parents are never mentioned in the Tobey Spidey flicks, making them pretty much irrelevant to his storyline. For the reboot, Sony has been touting the movie as “The Untold Story”. Parker’s parents are seen briefly at the beginning of the film but nothing gets firmly explained as to what happened to them after they left Peter in the care of Uncle Ben and Aunt May. (Although a newspaper cutout reveals that the two were involved in a plane crash).

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–DEATH OF UNCLE BEN
For the Tobey Spidey flick, Uncle Ben was shot and killed during a carjacking robbery after he drops off Parker to a wrestling match. It isn’t until the third Spidey flick that the truth of Uncle Ben’s death is fully revealed. In the reboot, Uncle Ben and Peter get into an argument and Peter leaves the house, leaving Uncle Ben to search for him. Peter goes to a local grocery store to buy something but is treated like a punk by a jerk store cashier. As Peter walks away, the man behind him secretly steals cash from the register while the same cashier is turned away, all while Peter is looking on. As the robber runs off into the street, the cashier asks for help from Parker but he refuses. The robber then trips on the sidewalk in front of Uncle Ben and dropping a handgun. Uncle Ben then tries to wrestle the gun out of the robber’s hand but is shot and he dies on the sidewalk instantly.

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–QUEST FOR REVENGE
The Tobey Spidey flick never showed Parker trying to get even with Uncle Ben’s murderer because he technically didn’t know who it was. For the reboot, Parker knows who it is and spends the first part of the film looking for the murderer, but the story shifts towards the Lizard and the murderer is never found.

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–THE WRESTLING RING
To try out his newly discovered powers and costume, the Tobey Spidey enters a wrestling match with Bonesaw McGraw. For the reboot, Parker is running away from thugs on rooftop when he falls through a roof and into a large empty room with a lucha libre wrestling ring. As he looks around the ring, he sees a large banner with a lucha libre mask, which inspires the new Spidey mask design.

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–WHERE IS J. JONAH JAMESON?
In the original flick, JJ was introduced into the storyline almost instantly, mustache and cigar withstanding. Although still in high school, Parker already starts working for JJ at the Daily Bugle taking pictures of himself as Spidey. In the reboot, Parker is the school photographer but does not get in contact with the Daily Bugle yet (though he does take pictures of himself fighting the Lizard).

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–AUNT MAY
Throughout the first flick, Aunt May was the focus of Peter’s life after Uncle Ben’s death. The Green Goblin even injures her in an attack, which prompts Parker to fight him. For the reboot, Aunt May only appears in a few scenes but is never the focus of Peter’s agenda.

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–THE VILLAIN DISCOVERS PARKER’S IDENTITY
In the Tobey Spidey flick, Norman Osborn discovers Peter’s identity during a Thanksgiving dinner at Aunt May’s house. In the reboot, the Lizard discovers Peter’s camera in the sewers and sees a sticker that says “Property Of Peter Parker” behind the camera.

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–CONNECTION TO THE MARVEL CINEMATIC UNIVERSE
Unfortunately, I could not find or see any kind of connection to the MCU. No Nick Fury, no mention of SHIELD, no Avengers Initiative, and definitely no Stark Tower in the skyline (which was reported to almost have been included in the film).

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All in all, while I enjoyed all of the comic book aspects (especially the Todd McFarlane homages), I still felt like the script had left too many unresolved subplots, which I’m sure will be brought up in the sequels. But at least it’s nice to see Spidey not be so Emo after the the disastrous third film.

Why isn’t Victoria Justice on more magazine covers? That’s my only question: WHY?!? As of late, we’ve been bombarded with crappy covergirls like Khloe Kardashian, Pink, Demi Lovato, Julianne Hough, Kate Moss, and Maria Menounos yet nobody takes notice of this brunette hottie! Instead, Vicki gets shoved in Self Magazine all the way to the very BACK of the issue where nobody except ME noticed her. This is so goddamned STUPID! This girl deserves more attention than that Ho-Ho-Twinkie-eating fattie Demi Lovato!

Anyway, the VicTORIous starlet makes a four-page appearance in the latest issue of Self Magazine (with Fergie on the cover) where she reveals some make-up tips and her favorite music playlist (she likes The Darkness, who knew!).

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The fact that Kate is a lazy bum that doesn’t work out and chainsmokes yet still looks like million bucks really bothers me. Really, it does. Anyway, the hot Brit appears in the newest issue of Women’s Health to promote her newest reboot flick, “Total Recall” (where she takes on the femme fatale role originally played by Sharon Stone).

Shit, and I thought she would be the alien with the three boobs.

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Now that “The Avengers” has blasted it’s way into theaters (and made more money than everyone else), it’s time I make a guide that points out most of the in-movie references as well as plot points that may show up in the sequels for Iron Man, Captain America, and Thor.

Ready for a spoiler-filled journey? Click below if you dare (but remember, it’s on you if I spoiled it)!

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[UPDATE 05/06/12: I went to a second screening of "Avengers" and now I have more concise and clearer details of certain events and plotpoints that I missed the first time!]

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[Be aware that I may not be correct on some of the theories, but I will try to come close.]

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–IRON MAN 3 PLOTPOINTS?
For Tony Stark’s intro, he is seen underwater using his laserbeams to cut up a waterpipe. He later makes reference that he is trying to find ways to use “renewable energy” to power up the Stark Building. This may soon show up as a plot point in IM3.

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–IRON MAN & THE HULK AS BFF’S?
Through the second act of the movie, Stark and Dr. Bruce Banner are seen giving scientific exchanges and becoming good friends. After saving New York, Dr. Banner and Stark are seen driving away in his car (possibly to continue work on the Stark Building that was partially destroyed by the Tesseract).

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–THE MARK 7 ARMOR
Just before Stark meets with Loki for a chat, he makes reference to “Mark 7″. The Mark 7 is Stark’s latest version of his armor that comes in a flying rocket form (activated by energy wristbands), in comparison to “Iron Man 2″ where his Mark 3 armor was inside a small briefcase.

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–AGENT COULSON’S GIRLFRIEND?
A specific subplot that is briefly discussed (but never expanded upon) during Coulson’s meeting with Tony and Pepper is Coulson’s “girlfriend” in Portland. It’s only after Coulson dies that Tony reveals details to Steve Rogers about Coulson’s girlfriend being a “Cellist”.

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–WHERE’S NATALIE PORTMAN?
The only reason Thor isn’t also destroying the human race is because of his love for Jane (Natalie Portman) that was established in the “Thor” flick. For “Avengers”, a picture of Jane is only seen in a computer screen while Agent Coulson assures Thor that “she is safe”.

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–ARTIFACTS OF HYDRA
Under suspicion of Fury about “Phase 2″, Steve Rogers decides to explore the inner halls of the SHIELD helicarrier. Inside he finds that SHIELD has taken the weapons from Hydra used during WWII (as was seen in the “First Avenger” movie). Rogers exposes Fury and, from there, Fury explains why the Tesseract was needed in the first place.

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–THE FLYING MONKEYS JOKE
Nick Fury makes a reference to “flying monkeys” to the team during his monologue about Loki. While Thor is unaware of the reference, Steve chimes in with, “Flying monkeys! I got that reference!” This is a reference to the 1939 film “The Wizard Of Oz”, showing Steve as a man REALLY out of time.

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–THE DESTROYER FROM THOR
Towards the last act of “Thor”, Loki sent a giant metal assassin known as “The Destroyer” to Earth. Nick Fury reveals to the team that the reason for using the Tesseract was to create new weapons to prevent enemies like the Destroyer from attacking Earth again.

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–THE SUPER SOLDIER FORMULA
In the “Incredible Hulk” reboot (with Edward Norton), gamma radiation was used to try and recreate the Super Soldier serum. Agent Coulson briefs Steve Rogers claiming that the experiment to recreate Dr Erskine’s formula (from “First Avenger”) was unsuccessful resulting in Dr. Banner’s condition.

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–HOW DID THOR COME BACK TO EARTH?
At the end of “Thor”, Thor destroyed the rainbow bridge and the Bi-frost which disabled him from traveling to other worlds. While no direct explanation is made as to how Thor came back to Earth for “Avengers”, Loki makes a theory towards it claiming “How much black magic did Father use to get you back here?”. This means that Odin (Anthony Hopkins from “Thor”) probably sent him back.

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–HOW DID LOKI ESCAPE THE WORMHOLE?
At the end of “Thor”, Loki drops himself into the large wormhole. One theory as to how he escaped is that the Chitauri rescued him and, in return, made a deal with them to invade Earth. As seen at the end of “Avengers”, the Chitauri have a giant spaceship that floats through universes, hence Loki may have landed on it.

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–HOW DID THOR KNOW WHERE TO FIND LOKI ON EARTH?
While Loki is being transported to SHIELD in a small helicopter, Thor magically appears above and kidnaps Loki. One of the theories as to how Thor found them was through the magical eye of Heimdall. Heimdall is the watcher of the Bi-frost and can see everything happening in other worlds, hence he probably knew how and where to find Loki. The main reason Thor was looking for Loki was to bring him to “Asgardian justice”.

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–WHY DIDN’T LOKI ESCAPE?
During the forest battle with Thor and Iron Man, Loki is seen at the top of the mountain watching the battle below. Rather than escape, he just sits there the entire time and then is seen in cuffs inside the helicarrier a few scenes later. (Although it is later revealed that he intended to be captured.)

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–THOR’S CHANGE OF WARDROBE
When Thor first appears in “Avengers”, he is seen with no chainmail on his arms. This is the first time onscreen that Thor is seen wearing his “Marvel Ultimates” armor. It isn’t until the battle in New York that the chainmail armor reappears.

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–THOR’S HAMMER IS TOO HEAVY
As indicated in the “Thor” movie, only Thor can wield the Mjolnir hammer. Anybody else that tries to use it cannot lift it, hence the reason the Hulk could barely lift it during the battle with Thor in the helicarrier.

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–THE HULK RETURNS TO NYC
Dr. Banner makes a small crack at his Hulk persona by saying, “The last time I was in New York, I broke Harlem”. This is in reference to the battle at the end of “The Incredible Hulk” where the Hulk fought the Abomination.

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–THE HULK IS ALWAYS ANGRY
When Dr. Banner reunites with the Avengers, he tells Black Widow, “That’s my secret, I’m always angry”. This means that Banner can automatically turn into the Hulk at any time without the need to be provoked, unlike previous movies where something had to happen to him in order for him to transform.

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–WHAT DID THE HULK SAY?
When the Hulk confronts Loki, he slams Loki multiple times in a fit of Looney Tunes rage and mutters his only two words (that most audiences may not have heard due to uproarious laughter): “Puny god!”

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–THE REAL BOSS
In the first post-credit scene, the leader of the Chitauri is seen pleading towards an unseen figure claiming that the humans are too strong. The figure turns around and it is revealed to be none other than supervillain Thanos, wielder of the Infinity Gauntlet (who can also be seen briefly at the beginning of the film).

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–WHAT ARE THEY EATING?
In the second post-credits scene, the entire team is seen eating shawarma (as indicated by Tony a few scenes earlier) just after capturing Loki. And if you look closely, Hawkeye is seen with his leg on Black Widow’s chair indicating that their relationship may indeed be more than it seems (hey, you don’t see Thor putting his leg up on her, that’s for sure).

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–WHAT IS WRONG WITH CAPTAIN AMERICA?
During the same post-credits scene, you’ll notice that Cap never shows his face (he has his hand covering it as seen in the screencap above). According to EW.com, during reshoots of this scene, Chris Evans had grown facial hair and had to wear a prosthetic on his chin that was unconvincing, hence his hand covering his face the entire time.

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Maxim Magazine is dead to me. DEAD! I will have NO MORE of their lies! After so many years of shitty covergirl choices (90% of their choices are horrible), I’ve gone cold turkey from Maxim’s bullshit and have moved on to my new haven for hot ladies: health and fitness magazines for men! Turns out that some of the more hotter women in showbiz are doing sexier spreads for mags like Men’s Health and Men’s Fitness and it was right under our noses!

In this case, former PMOY and Attack Of The Show hostess Sara Underwood gives a hot and sweaty editorial for the June issue of Men’s Fitness where she talks about being “too hot and unapproachable” for other guys in the gym. [Oh, she is such a lying bitch!]

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It’s unfortunate that Victoria Justice wasn’t given the cover for the May 2012 issue of Nylon (the cover went to a trio of other actresses I could care less about) because she’s a super beautiful girl that reminds of my all-time favorite soap actress Vanessa Marcil.

Anyway, VJ is in a 6-page article for the May issue of Nylon where she dresses up in 1920′s-type clothing (hey, at least it ain’t like the bullshit “cowboy” clothes that Nina Dobrev wore in the February issue). Check it out!

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Back when Dakota was on the cover of Cosmo a few months earlier, everyone bitched that she was”too sexy” because she was still 17 years old. Well, fast-forward to April 2012 and now that Dakota’s finally reached the ripe young adult of 18 years, we can FINALLY say that she’s too sexy without incurring the wrath of these goddamned Liberals!

Dakota appears on the May issue of C-Style Magazine talking about some movie she did that doesn’t even come out until the Fall. Yeah, I don’t get it but at least her photos are nice (she even resembles Drew Barrymore in one of the pics)! Take a gander, it’s legal now.

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You wanna know something that is really FUCKED UP? The editors of Cosmo had two choices for the covergirl of the May issue: “Revenge” bad girl, Emily Van Camp or Reality-starlet-sister-to-a-whore Khloe Kardashian. And who did they choose? That’s right, the Yeti! In case you aren’t aware of it, Emily is on the hottest show on TV but, instead, got screwed over for Chewbacca. Once again, it’s an EPIC FUCKIN’ FAIL, COSMO!

Anyway, Emily makes an 8-page appearance in the May issue of Cosmo showing some sizzling skin (as well as some horrific Photoshopped cleavage). Scope out the goods!

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Sofia scores the cover for the April issue of InStyle and there are various parts of her interview that are quite funny. My particular favorite quote of hers from the article: “I always hated Math. The moment I run out of fingers, I can’t count anymore“. [Editors Note: That makes two of us, Sofia.]

Check it out!

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Kristen scores the dual-sided cover for the April 2012 issue of Women’s Health where she discusses about the 40 things important in her life. My only complaint is why the photographer felt the need to have a sunburst in all of the photos to the point where you can barely see Kristen’s face. It’s fuckin’ distracting!!!

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The big question the issue asks is if Megan Fox is “Naughty or Nice”? My answer? NEITHER. She’s a LAZY BUM! And, as usual, Cosmo Photoshopped her head to look smaller.

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[CREDIT: Megan-Fox.NET]

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Jennifer Lawrence. The Hunger Games. Big ol’ boobies. That pretty much explains this entire issue. Did I mention the boobies?

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I really don’t understand how two separate magazines in separate coasts could end up using the SAME Megan Fox photoshoot in the SAME month! Megan scores the cover for the March issue of Angeleno but ALSO scored the cover of Miami Magazine. Both issues use the same photos and I’m sure both issues feature the same boring-ass articles.

Whatever, just click and download this shit, will ya!


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BTW, look at the fifth photo and explain to me what the FUCK is going on with her hand holding the champagne glass!!!

[CREDIT: Megan-Fox.NET]