Celibate and Sane

Short Story: Food Nazis

2014-04-12T19:21:00.000+10:00

I could tell that the Food Nazis had been in my apartment again, although this time they'd tried to hide it. Usually when they'd been, I came home to a shambles with everything I owned strewn about the place. This time, I noticed that several items in my fridge had been moved out of position and a small packet of salt was missing from my pantry cupboard.

The Food Nazis, or as they're better known by most of the population, the Department of Health, probably visits several thousand people in our city. The actual percentage of the population is unknown to most of us, because people with genetic anomalies such as mine, are strongly discouraged from communicating with each other, and the Government will not divulge the statistics about those of us with abnormalities, claiming that it is irrelevant and discriminatory.

My older brother and sister were genetically improved at conception like the majority of the population. Unfortunately, I was an unexpected and ultimately unpleasant surprise for my parents. By the time my mother found out she was several months along in her pregnancy with me, it was far too late to ensure my genes were enhanced. Most women in that situation aborted the foetus, but my mother was one of an old-fashioned, frowned-upon minority who believed that life was sacred. The Department of Health threatened my parents when they chose to continue with the pregnancy, or should I say, encouraged them with disincentives to do so.

My siblings don't speak to me. I like to think it's because they unconsciously believe they'll catch what I have, though more likely it's because of sheer embarrassment. My genetic anomaly is obvious: I'm fat. Some ancestor or two of ours had the audacity to be born with fat genes and passed them down the line to me.

There are others like me. I've seen at least three other fat people, a child with curly hair and several women with overly large buttocks. For others in the population, their anomalies are not so physically obvious such as improperly functioning organs or learning disabilities. Although the law states that we are not to be discriminated against, we are, and often not in very subtle ways.

Our culture has reached a "New Zenith of Health,' (as Government promotions tell us) because when people purchase food using their citizen's cards, they are allowed wholesome options, based on their individual health status. This is 'for our own good and for the long-term good of our society.' For me that means salads, vegetables and lean meats, although lean meats are the only ones available any more. All animal stocks were genetically modified decades ago to produce only lean options.

For people like my cousin Janjhu, it can be quite challenging. When she was modified at conception, a small error crept into the genes and she was born with an exceptionally fast metabolism that makes it hard for her to maintain the acceptable ideal weight. As Janjhu is a close relative and has been a good friend of mine since childhood, the authorities don't stop us from meeting up, as we did last week at the BPlus Government Cafe.

"I can't eat any more. I'm so sick to death of being force-fed," she groaned. Her plate had included a protein-enriched mock-burger, mock-fries, and a calcium and kilojoule-laced milkshake, which was followed up with ice-cream and naturally-sweetened low-fat cheese-cake.

As always, I tried hard not to look at her with envy, or to drool over the remains of her half-eaten meal. No matter how much I ate, I was perpetually hungry.

"Check out who's at your ten o'clock," I said, glancing at him from the corner of my eye.

"I couldn't be bothered," she replied with a dismissive wave of her hand.

"You wouldn't believe the sneer on his face Oh, oh. Now he and his friend are coming towards us," I added. "I wonder what witty observation they'll share with us."

"Hello ladies," the first one said with a condescending smile as he looked at the both of us. He was physically ideal with broad shoulders, a lean stomach and a strongly handsome face. "You girls must be twins!"

Without even looking up from her plate Janjhu said, "Aren't you the guy I rejected at the dance last week? The one who begged me to take him home and cried when I said no?"

Glancing up at him she finished with, "Oh no. You're not him. He was actually good looking."

"Skinny freak," he snarled as they walked away.

Giggling I said, "That was beautifully done."

"Yeah," she replied with a sigh and a shrug of her shoulders, "I've got a million of them."

"Will I be seeing you at the gym after work?" I asked.

"Yes. Oh, the abundant joys of weight-lifting and muscle-building," she replied with a smile.

"And I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to running 10km on the treadmill and the ever-present delight of my daily cardio workout," I said. "And of course, my firm favourite is the weekly weigh-in, followed by the well-intentioned lecture."

"Fat-ass!" somebody hissed behind me.

Turning I saw the culprit and said, "Oh, my ass is not all that's fat. I have an overly large stomach, huge legs and arms and I'm working on a particularly magnificent double-chin. I see you've achieved you're goal of an ugly, fat mouth!"

Swinging back, I linked arms with my laughing cousin and exited the cafe.

"Nice work, Janjhu said. "You are getting so good at that!"

"Only because I've learned from the best!"

* * * * * * * * * *

My cousin was not only a nice person, she was also brilliant with computers and worked in one of the Government's statistical sections. To me it sounded like one of the dullest jobs on the planet, but she had schemed and worked her way there with one ulterior motive: to help people like us.

Circumventing the normal channels, she'd begun quietly accumulating data from government cafes and gyms. From these she'd been able to determine what other people in our city were likely to possess a genetic anomaly from both their food intake and their gym activities. She was unable to access medical data or school records without raising suspicion and so had focussed her initial attention on people like us who had metabolic disturbances and had to eat and exercise differently from the rest of the population.

Once we had a list, we each investigated potential candidates for our secret group. We had no intentions of overthrowing the government, but simply wanted to meet with similar people so that we could encourage and support each other. From the initial investigation of 87 candidates, we'd found 64 who fitted our profile and the group had been meeting in a disused building for several months.

"Does anyone know if Kaelar is coming?" Janjhu asked.

"He said he was going to try and make it to Tonga and try to hide away there until the cruise-airship left," Arien said.

"The Government wouldn't permit any of us to go to the islands," I said. "Not since seven of the island nations refused to become a member of the United Nations Health Taskforce."

"Can you imagine trying to enforce such ridiculous physical restrictions on people who are naturally, genetically larger?" Pearlice, the woman next to me said. "Plus they felt it impinged on their cultural identity."

"I know," I replied. "How many nations are still refusing to join?"

"Fourteen, although I've heard that Greenland is reconsidering its stand," she said quietly as Arien resumed speaking.

"Kaelar felt that because he had a fast metabolism, rather than a sluggish one, the government may not have seen it as a danger to allow him to go where 'fat is beautiful.'"

"Considering how many thousands of tourists go there to gawk at the fat people, he might have been able to slip through unnoticed," Berzra said.

"Does anyone have any news they'd like to share with us tonight?" Janjhu asked.

"You probably know that my sister Berdha is a doctor?" Berzra said, "She said that Merteen Charnigne is going to be euthanised later in the week."

The group let out a collective gasp.

"Three months ago she was severely injured in a transmat accident and ended up as a quadriplegic," he said.

"I never heard that," someone said.

"It wasn't released on the news," he said.

"How can they euthanise her?" I asked. "She's one of the best loved musicians of the last quarter century. Surely she can contribute even as a quadriplegic!"

"We all know that the Government regulations demand that people be classified as a burden on society if they fit the criteria of physically incapable of looking after themselves; quadriplegic and/or mentally ill amongst many other standards. Since the accident Merteen has been depressed and requires both a feeding and breathing tube to survive. That more than fits the government's 'burden on society' category."

"It's disgusting!" I said. "I wish that ....

Several candles fluttered out as the doors smashed open and a squad of officers from the Department of Health burst in.

"You are all under arrest under Section 7A sub-section (b) of the Government Health Act."

Blah! I Generally HATE New Year's Resolutions but ...

2014-01-01T10:42:00.000+10:00

Blah! I generally HATE New Year's Resolutions but ...this year's resolution is to reduce my size by dieting and exercise.

I've never been a small girl, and I acknowledge that I'm simply not built to be a size 6, but this year I'm aiming to be an 8, or at least an 8½. There are a lot of dieting plans that focus on reducing weight for particular parts of the body, though I'm having difficulty finding one that suits.

You're probably rolling your eyes at this point and thinking "Oh crap! It's another one of those boring diet blogs!" Let me assure you that this is anything but an ordinary diet blog because I'm not talking about reducing my body size - I'm focusing on reducing my foot size.

By the time I was 13, it was evident that I was going to have large feet, and by the time I was 18, my feet had reached a ridiculous size 9½ to 10. I'm thankful though, that I'm not ever going to have obese feet like size 11 or larger though, and I do feel sorry for women who are simply not built to be petite.

I usually feel so embarrassed about my feet, that I keep them covered up most days. Summer-time is hell for me because my ankles tend to swell up and get fat during the hot weather. As I'm getting older I've also noticed that my feet are spreading sideways which is simply unacceptable.

One of the other embarrassing things about my feet is the size of my big toes. First on my list of health "must-dos" is an hour's daily walk on the treadmill which I am hoping will help slim down their roundedness. Additionally I will be searching the internet to find specific eating plans for reducing the overall size of my feet.

Perhaps this exercise and dieting will help to build up and reshape my weirdly shaped little toes. I won't rule out plastic surgery in the future, but I do hope this fitness regime will bring about a long-term toning and overall slimming that will rule out my need to do that. I'm also hoping that as I reduce the fat in my feet, their overall length will shorten to a more acceptable, petite size.

Perhaps by this time next summer I'll be able to wear a tiny pair of cute sandals on my slimmer, smaller and sexier feet. Wish me luck.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Note: This entry is purely tongue-in-cheek, showing the ridiculous expectations there are on us to be a certain size and shape. The reality is, we are all built differently. Some of us are taller, larger-boned, fatter, slimmer, tinier, skinnier, rounder, shorter, bonier or bulkier than others.

If society told you that to be sexy, desirable or simply worthwhile, you must have feet that are no larger than a size 6, and no wider than 7cm, would you believe it? of course not! BUT If society told you that same message every waking moment of the day from the minute you were born, the brain-washing would eventually sink in - and you would come to believe and accept this as a "truth."

So why is it that you believe society's message that you must be thinner or a certain body shape and size to be sexy, desirable or worthwhile? Have you considered the possibility that you have been brain-washed?

Let me tell a real truth. You are an ORIGINAL - there is no-one else like you. You are amazing just the way you are. You are worthy of a standing ovation! Your heart is worthy of a symphony.

Now go out there and LIVE that truth! Tell society to go taking a flying leap because as you are, right at this very second, YOU ARE WORTHWHILE! You are beautiful.

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The Creative Process: Frustrating, Rewarding and Still Fun!

2013-07-07T10:37:00.004+10:00

I remember that when I first heard the phrase "the creative process" I thought it sounded just a little pretentious. Now that I'm older and wiser, and having to had create either images or written articles on a regular basis for a number of years, I now understand it more clearly from my own personal experience, and realise that it is a step-by-step process.

Sometimes it is filled with frustration, especially when the pressure is on to get busy and create something by a particular date. As the creative mind doesn't work to a schedule, putting that kind of pressure on to produce something inevitably leads to blocks, or to the production of something that lacks spark. This then leads to disappointment and even further pressure to be better next time.

Strange as it may sound, I'm thankful that I've never gotten paid for my work. My written articles were for both my weekly newspaper column and my on-air radio program, both of which I volunteered for and were connected to the other. While there was pressure to produce by a particular date, I was not relying on producing items for an income, so to a degree, I was able to relax and let the thinking takes its creative course.

There were other difficulties: because I worked elsewhere for my income, it left me with much less time to put into the creative process. One way to get around that was to take pen and paper with me everywhere and jot down notes, observations and thoughts as they popped into my head. Whenever I had a spare ten minutes, I would take the opportunity to expand on those concepts a little further.

I have also been writing short stories and books for over a decade now, which is another process altogether, and one I won't discuss here today :o)

The creation of graphic designs has been a later development in my life and one I have only recently been able to market - though I'm yet to make any kind of income from it. While it would be nice to earn an income from my graphic designs, I enjoy the fact that I don't have to work to deadlines and my mind can take as long as it wants to develop the ideas. Often, I have several concepts jostling for position in my mind at the same time.

When I was young, I wanted to study art at university, but my parents insisted that I undertake something which would enable me to have a "reliable" income. For years, that has lead to my creative side being rather frustrated. Imagine my delight as I grew older, that computers and programs have developed to such a degree that I can now finally allow the blossoming of the stunted artist in me.

Here are some of my latest designs, some of which are a little on the quirky side:

Frankensquirrel

Links:

https://www.facebook.com/MissTerryWoman?ref=hl

Australia: www.aussiecustomgifts.com/missterrywoman

USA: www.cafepress.com/missterrywoman2

Europe/UK: http://757631.spreadshirt.net/

And May I Say "Ugghh!"

2013-06-12T02:56:00.003+10:00

If you can hear me snoring from where you are, then you probably won't be surprised to hear that I have worn myself out, setting up the new European/UK store. In just one week, I uploaded/created almost 2,300 items in the store, and it was one of the laborious, most uninteresting and frustrating process I've had so far in any of the shops I've set up.

BUT, my best images are now available to anyone in Europe and the UK. Yay! From this point onwards, it will only be one or two images to upload to the various products at any one time. So, for the first time today, I was able to get back into the more fun aspect - creating! Following is an image that I designed which should be going into the shops in the next few days:

Galaxy Voyage by Miss Terry Woman
(Small image)

One of the other things I've been looking for is images of buildings, cars etc that were very futuristic looking at the time. There's some amazing stuff out there, though it can take a while to sift through hundreds and thousands of images just to find one to use.

I loved the shapes and the perspective in this old pedestrian bridge.

Then there was an amazing old airport terminal building. While I had to edit and repair the image somewhat, the end result was worth it - remarkable shapes and design flow:

And finally, I spotted this gorgeous old Porsche Spider - isn't it amazing!? I almost expect to see Batman jump out!

Catch you next time...

Lucky I Love My Work

2013-06-04T22:36:00.004+10:00

It's lucky that I love my work, because I have been crazy busy setting up my old and new designs in various online stores in Australia and the USA.

And just in the last few hours, I've set up a European store and have been laboriously adding one item at a time. Each country's product manufacturer/supplier has their online businesses set up very differently - some are much easier to use than others, and some are very time consuming and sleep-inducing procedures, lol.

Here is the link to the new store: Miss Terry Woman (Eur/UK)
Australia: Miss Terry Woman (Australia)
USA: Miss Terry Woman (USA)

Following are just a sample of some of the varied products available in the stores.

I hope you can drop by and check them out some time. May I also encourage you to let your friends and family know about my special designs. ... Thanks!
Miss Terry Woman (Eur/UK)
Miss Terry Woman (Australia)
Miss Terry Woman (USA)

Busy, busy, busy!

2013-05-27T13:58:00.001+10:00

I have been working crazily to get more items into my online shops and have set up a new humor segment in the Australian store. So I thought I'd share some of my humorous items with you... Enjoy!

Link to this item
(On some of these the reverse side
says "Lessons inhumility are free.")

Link to this item
(Gotta have a good pun in your life occasionally)

Link to this item
"I'm not fat, I'm gravitationally dispersed."
(Is this political correctness gone to extremes?)

"Link to this item
"If there was one word to describe me,
incredible just seems so inadequate."

More Images For My Shop

2013-05-18T00:45:00.000+10:00

In addition to art deco, I love anything quirky - probably stemming from my overactive and quirky imagination and related sense of humour.

Following are some recent images that I created:

An Aussie fly tourist in Paris!

This image is available on various
items including clothing

The Aussie fly tourist in London

The image here is available on various
items including clothing

I have a number of other quirky images and items as well which can be found on-line in the Quirky section of the Australian shop, and in various sections of the USA based shop as well.

Earlier Graphic Designs

2013-05-16T00:42:00.002+10:00

I had opened a shop online last year, and while the quality of the items was good, it was rather expensive to purchase, especially when including the cost of postage from the USA. About eight weeks ago I discovered an Australian based shop which is much cheaper and with much more reasonable postage, at least for me here in Australia, so I set up a second shop. Both are called "Miss Terry Woman."

Some of the earliest images that I created for the shops were based on photos from the early twentieth century, with one or two dating back into the nineteenth. I tidy up, cut-out and then recolour the uncopyrighted photos and then place with appropriate backgrounds and/or items.

The program I use is called "Photo Studio" which is a lot like PhotoShop but at about 10% of the cost! I've been using it for quit a few years now and find it a great little program, allowing me to do the majority of what I want to do with my graphics. It still has its limitations, but I simply can't afford to buy PhotoShop and its add-ons.

While I enjoy the creation side of things, I also love to discover old photos, especially of people with interesting faces. The next image was taken in about 1930 I believe. I recoloured the woman and added other images with it - though I'm beginning to suspect I may have chosen the wrong penguins:

LOVELY ITEMS IN MY SHOP

2013-05-15T02:19:00.000+10:00

I thought I'd share some of the graphics that I've put together recently. These have been a culmination of a few months work.

You may have guessed that I love "art deco" and this has been a focus during the creation of my graphic designs. The following image is one I completed during the past day:

Art Deco dancers - Shopping bags

Based on the shape of his chin, I have a sneaking suspicion that the gentleman above may well be an extremely young Fred Astaire.

I've spent considerable time re-colouring and retouching the black and white photos that I'd found - sometimes it's got to be a labour of love, or I might just go crazy! Here is one I completed yesterday. The image of the dancer I undertook a few months ago, selecting and colouring each individual pearl by hand! And finally yesterday, I was able to create an appropriate background for the dancer to shine from. Of interest is the fact that the poor dear had rather a largish nose, which I trimmed, adding in the obscured eyelid and lashes.

Art Deco Dancer - cushions

There are now more than 1,600 items in the Art Deco section of my store, with lots more gorgeous black and white photos to work on yet.

So, time now to catch my breath (and a little bit of shut-eye).

Online Shops - Why I have been so busy

2013-05-12T13:08:00.000+10:00

One of the big reasons that I have had little time to keep up-to-date with my blog is that during the last year I have opened two online shops. Creating graphics is one of my passions and there are several places where one can set up a shop. The company produces the product with my designs, and I make a little profit - a very small profit. I am hoping that eventually I will make enough to supplement my pension.

My initial shop was based in the USA and while their products are a good quality, I found the prices and postage a little too steep, at least for me here in Australia. Then about six weeks ago I found an Australian-based company which has some similar products where I can also use my graphic designs, where the prices and postage are much better.

The name of my shop is "Miss Terry Woman." So, without further ado, here are the links to my two shops:

Australia: Miss Terry Woman

USA: Miss Terry Woman

I even have an online presence on Facebook: Miss Terry Woman

I hope you can drop by some time and check them out, and I would appreciate it if you could share the shops with your friends.

I also create specialised graphic designs to your own specific requirements: just let me know what you would like and as long as the product is available in either shop, I can make it for you. (There are some limits, ie I cannot create copyrighted images/icons and I do not use photos or images that are copyrighted.)

Here's a little sample of some of my designs on the online products:

Art Deco Designs

Canvases

Clothing

Cups, coasters and Plates

Handbags, Backpacks and more

Jigsaw Puzzles

Miscellaneous Items

Some of my favourite designs can be found in the "Quirky" and "Fantasy" sections such as:

Dragon's Cave

A Girl and Her Unicorn

Beach Puggy

I look forward to receiving your feedback ... and as mentioned earlier, please let me know if you would like a special graphic created just for you.

2,000 Year Rainfall

2013-04-12T14:00:00.001+10:00

In late January this year, we had an incredible amount of rain. According to the record-keepers, we experienced a one in two-thousand year event. Around about one metre of rain fell in just a few short days.

This resulted in lots of run-off including leakage into my downstairs rumpus room which used to look quite lovely:

My rumpus room became a wading pool with furniture!

Some skirting boards will have to be replaced, as well as the very mouldy lino, and the back door will need to be resealed and refitted.

It's now April and I'm finally getting it repaired - lots of people in Queensland were making insurance claims because of the incredible damage, and there are simply not enough builders etc to keep up with the demand.

I also had to get my roof repaired where the winds were starting to lift the tin. Additionally I had to get the gutters cleaned out because of the debris that was clogging them.

I have been very fortunate that I live up high on a hill and locally we didn't sustain as much damage as other Queensland towns. I even got some financial assistance from the government to help cover the costs.

Update: as at mid May, I have had to obtain another quote for repairs and I am still awaiting the repairs.

Little Things That Make Us Laugh

2013-04-12T14:00:00.000+10:00

I visited with my Aunt recently and while I was there she found a hand-written note in her letterbox. We had a good laugh when she discovered that it was likely written by one of her grandsons. Addressed on a lovely floral envelope and notepaper, the note read read:

DJ, one of the teenagers living with me is almost 15, and recently we found she has the most crazy, deep belly button we've ever seen. She says that with all the pets in our house, she's having to clean the fur out of her belly button all of the time - lol!

Mr Stanley is a very fastidious cat - if the litter tray is even remotely dirty, he chooses to use our human toilet.

Crazy Cat Lady?

2013-04-07T14:00:00.000+10:00

According to one of the teenage girls I have living with me, I'm known as "the cat lady" at her high school, due probably to a previous child in my care who used to attend the same school.

I have always striven to avoid being called things like "cat lady" because it suggests desperate spinsterhood and other such negative ideas, and despite the fact that I have both cats AND dogs, alas the label has stuck anyway.

.....Please do not give me any kittens for my upcoming 50th birthday or I will have to throttle you.

Some Interesting Articles

2013-04-05T14:00:00.000+10:00

Working as a foster carer, I often come into contact with kids/teenagers that have been affected by sexualised images and movies. It's really quite heart-breaking to see these children who grow up with distorted images and ideas about what it means to be a girl or boy. It is especially frightening to see how girls are being harmed.

May I encourage you to read the following article:
The corruption of a generation: Our daughters are facing sexualisiation from primary school age

And in the same vein, how our society is teaching us and our children to be unhappy, especially about our weight and the way we look:
So you’re feeling too fat to be photographed . . .

Some Photos

2013-04-02T14:00:00.000+10:00

The colour of a sunset in September 2012: peach

In January 2013, I spotted a mistletoebird for the very first time. He sang the most beautiful song!

Then a few days later I spotted a dollarbird. I'd never seen one before in my life, and now there's a family who have moved into the neighbourhood.

My friend Karen made me laugh after she raided my laundry:

How to NOT sell your house in one big expensive lesson

2013-03-29T14:00:00.000+10:00

As you are probably aware, I had my home on the market last year, with the hopes of moving to Hervey Bay. In June 2012, an offer was made on my home which I accepted.

Then I had to dash down to Hervey Bay to find somewhere to live. While there I found a lovely home which was exactly what I wanted.

We negotiated the price and the owners finally accepted my offer.

So I went back home with around five weeks to pack and make all the arrangements. I was SO excited. Then a week before the big move, the buyer of my home had his bank application turned down, even though he was supposed to have had it all pre-approved.

Unfortunately, the legal costs amounted to around $1,000 which is a lot of money when you are on a pension.

Since that time the house-market has continued to decline in Gladstone and prices are down at least $30,000. While that was happening, the buyers market practically dried up and I did not receive any more offers on my home.

So, it's now March in 2013... my house is no longer on the market, though I may reconsider putting it back up for sale in August/September. It will depend on the market and a number of other important factors.

While I would still like to move to Hervey Bay, I have delayed the move for the next couple of years, because I now have three teenage girls in my care (foster carer).

I have tried to find part-time work without success.

I continue trusting in God's plan, though I wish sometimes He would put the blue-prints for my life on a table in front of me so at least I can know what to expect.

More news to come over the next few weeks ....

Thanks for dropping by.

A Little Song From Me

2013-03-26T02:59:00.000+10:00

First, let me apologise for the long delay in writing in my blog. It's been a tough year in a lot of ways, but I'm hoping to get back to blogging more regularly now that I have a more established schedule. I'll be doing some catch-up over the next few weeks.

And to start ... a little music:

I've always loved the Amy Grant song "Arms of Love" and years ago had worked out a harmony for the chorus. Anyway, last year I recorded the sound-track and harmony for it, and thought I'd try and put my own music video together for it. So without further ado, here is "Arms of Love" sung by yours truly: "Arms of Love"

I'm sure with a bit more time (and a good sound studio) I could improve it.

That's it for catch-up time today ... more to come!

Catch up Time Again

2012-06-05T11:14:00.001+10:00

The house is ready and has been put on the market. I've had a couple of potential buyers through and have even been given an offer on the house, but the investor was hoping I was desperate enough to take at least $20,000 less than its market value - I declined, but offered him a reduction of $5,000. I'm still waiting to hear back from the other potential buyer as well but am happy to wait for God's timing and the right buyer to coincide.

Our cat Cinnamon

I had only once been to a live footy match and that was 25 years ago (you can tell how much of a fan I am). Back then it was a very basic footy-field in Warwick and was a match between their team and Goondiwindi. We received a free family pass to the local footy match one Saturday night recently between the Devils and Capras and I took my friend Karen and my two foster kids along.

I think I probably enjoyed more watching and listening to the crowd than the game itself, but it was a good experience and got the crowd very excited towards the end when Capras began to catch up.

There was a 5-6 year old boy next to us screaming out things like "C'mon Capras!" and jiggling excitedly up and down in his seat.

Spud and MM both enjoyed it, though they got bored sitting in the one spot and wanted to run around.

The atmosphere was really great and there was a really good sized crowd. I may even go again one day.

One of the things I learned at the footy match on Saturday night, was to keep on eye on the toilet roll when going to the loo. As I pulled paper from the huge roll, it jumped off the spindle, bounced along the floor and began to roll away beneath the door. Fortunately I managed to catch it, but I'm sure the other ladies in the stalls were wondering what on earth I was giggling about.

And while we are on the subject of giggling, a few days later I spotted the following item at a local supermarket and thought "How appropriate for the menopausal woman!"

House Overhaul: Before and After Photos

2012-05-16T14:45:00.000+10:00

The last couple of months have been quite busy. Recently I have been doing some overhauling of my home in preparation for putting it back onto the market to sell. The wood on my back patio has been replaced and oiled. We've done LOTS of cleaning, and some furniture rearrangement and have even been putting some stickers up to make it look a little nicer. The front verandah has been painted with special marine paint to waterproof it. And the local Churches of Christ were kind enough to send along a working bee to tidy up my garden last weekend.

The old patio looked like this.

The first stage of replacing the wood found
some lovely termites chewing on three
of the beams. Look out - increased cost!

Murray tried to hide from my camera
as he was working.

Getting closer to completion.

The second last stage of the replacement.

The new patio looks fabulous!
The old clothesline was also removed.

The clothesline has been placed outside
on the laundry wall, and can be lowered
to make more room on the patio.

The front entrance has been tidied up
and there are some new plants.

Previously the old lounge room looked
small and shabby.

Now there are new curtains that make it
look softer and more welcoming,
matching lounge covers and some
bright cushions to cheer the room up.

The front of the house before the
gardens were redone.

The garden has been overhauled now
and edging has been placed around them.

Here's a closer view of the front gardens.

Earlier this year the rumpus room had new flooring placed in it:

The rumpus room before the new flooring.

And with the new flooring, the rumpus
room looks lovely and spacious.

2012-03-18T14:00:00.024+10:00

I am a foster carer and currently have two primary school aged children staying with me. Recently we got together and created a poster especially for their room:

Young MM decided to show off his best face recently, and I can't help giggling whenever I look at it:

Spud and I went to the Gladstone Marina the other day and saw a number of boats transporting workers to a local island for the new gas pipeline being built:

And just a little bit of excitement to finish off today - late last year I entered a competition with a real estate that was running a nation-wide competition before Christmas. I was delighted to discover that I was the first prize winner of $500 vouchers at Bunnings:

With this money, I'm planning on buying new decking for my back verandah - I'll provide a photo of the finished product.

Pets, Wildlife and Wild Grass

2012-03-15T14:00:00.009+10:00

I recently created a 'beautified' photo of Genevieve our dog:

Don't you just love those false eyelashes, lol?

The recent rains have contributed to the jungle growing outside:

Can you spot the two dogs in my tall grass?

The recent wet weather has brought out the frogs,
butterflies, ciccadas and lots of dragonflies at my place.

Our dog Scout slobbered all over her new ball recently and lost it under the printing cabinet - and I that's when I discovered a spot that might just need a little extra vacuuming:

And finally, plug in your earphones for a short video of our dog Scout:

Some Recent Events

2012-03-12T11:40:00.002+10:00

Life has been pretty quiet recently, even with addition of two youngsters that I have been fostering for the past six weeks or so. I'm including a recent video and some photos about what has been happening.

Can you identify this?

Is it:

(a) a peg basket?
(b) a cleverly disguised nuclear device?
(c) a possum food holder?
(d) my car?
(e) all of the above?
(f) ... think up your own answer

To see the answer go to this link for a very quick video.

Continuing with the wildlife theme, five out of the seven in our friendly laughing kookaburra family visited recently:

My flatmate JayCee seemed to be a little extra tired today and some of the pets shared her experience with her:

How to Make Your Dog Truly Happy - Some Simple but Vital Information

2012-02-29T12:42:00.002+10:00

Our new dog Sammy

I began writing today's entry because we recently added another dog to our 2-dog and 3-cat household. The latest addition was rescued from the RSPCA and is a year old maltese with the most loving, gorgeous nature.

The first couple of weeks proved interesting as the dogs struggled to find their place in the pack. At first our second dog was jealous of the new intruder but the two have now developed a lovely friendship and enjoy a good tussle several times a day.

Initially our second dog was very keen to show the new dog that it was superior to it, but a few weeks down the track, the two now accept an almost even level within the dog hierarchy. This was demonstrated recently when the two walked through the door together at the same time.

How to Make Your Dog Truly Happy - Some Simple but Vital Information

Contrary to popular belief, cats do not think they are superior to human beings - they accept that they are simply different. When God created the original dog species, they were instilled with a 'pack mentality' or instinct, ie the need to belong in a pack and to clearly know their place. This instinct has not changed much since then, though dogs now accept human beings and often other pets into their 'pack.' This pack instinct has to be followed for them to be truly happy.

Anyone that obtains a dog with the desire to treating them like a human being, or a cat etc is going to create both an unhappy family and even more miserable dog. To make a dog happy it is the human being that must change their thinking and adjust their understanding - a dog cannot.

To make them happy you must actively seek to show a dog its place in your family. You must behave in a way that the dog understands and everyone in your home must adjust their behaviours for this to work.

Humans must always behave in a way that the dog sees as the right of its superior. For example, you can do this by ensuring that you always walk through the door first. If the dog rushes ahead of you or walks beside you, make the dog go back out through the door, and then allow them to follow after you. This will not make them feel bad or inferior - it will simply show them their place in the dog pack. Once a dog is reassured of its place and knows what is expected of them, they can relax. If they received mixed signals, it will only make the dog confused and unhappy.

Smiling Sammy

Training is essential - not just training of the dog, but training of the humans as well. The basic training a dog requires are: sit, stay, come, wait and heel. Once these are mastered, then you can focus on other techniques and tricks. Along with a simple voice command, also include a hand signal so that the dog can obey you if background noise blocks out the sound of your voice. All humans in the family must learn the same phrase and hand commands for consistency and be included in the training process.

Many times during its life, a dog will test its family members to see if it can become the lead dog in the pack. This is an instinct. You must firmly and consistently show the dog its place to reassure it that it still belongs.
What Else Should a Dog be Taught?

Genevieve as a pup

Have consistent meals times and feed your dog several times a day

In the morning I let the dogs out for their toilet time, saying 'pee pee' as I open the door. After that, I then give them a small meal of biscuits to start their day. In fact my dogs wait for my signal of "Ok" before they are allowed to start eating.
My pets (both dogs and cats) know that the evening meal is at 6pm. Around 5.30pm they hang around me like a pack of vultures in anticipation of their food.

During the first year of its life, you should give your pup several small meals a day, slowly cutting that back to 2 or 3 meals a day by the time a dog is a year old.

I always feed my pets food that has no artificial flavouring or colouring as it often reduces or stops allergic reactions. More expensive food doesn't necessarily mean that it is superior food. Sometimes the costs for producing the more expensive products stems from its expensive advertising rather than a higher quality of ingredients.

Regular play time is essential

Play with your dog at least once a day. If you are too busy to play, then don't get a dog. Get a fish or a photo of a fish.

Buy good quality, durable toys for your dog as they will last for longer and your dog is less likely to choke on pieces that it chews off. Make sure that the toy is a right fit for your dog's mouth and is not likely to be swallowed.

Should I smack my dog?

Stanley the cat playing
with Genevieve

Smacking a dog often only confuses it because it would never happen in a dog pack in real life
Worse, it may make a dog trust you less.

Never allow a dog to nip or bite

It would be a HUGE mistake to allow a dog to believe it is acceptable to nip or bite. Oftentimes dogs start out nipping as a fun activity - it does this with its siblings and lower dogs in a dog pack. If allowed to continue, it can often lead to more serious and long-term biting. A dog must be taught to understand that ALL humans who come through the door are its superiors and it is never ok to nip or bite them.

One simple technique is to command the dog to sit BEFORE it bites, such as when visitors come to the door, then stand with your head over the dog. This is a signal to the dog that you are its superior.

It may be necessary to put the dog in another room when guests arrive and allow them time to settle down before letting them greet the new people. If the dog then still rushes out and nips at them, put a lead on the dog and gently but firmly constrain them so they are allowed to sniff and meet the guests, but don't allow them enough lead to be able to nip. Keep the dog beside you in a sitting position, and when you feel it is calm, give them a little lead so they can more properly meet your guests. It may be necessary for the guests to stand over the head or neck of your dog, so that the dog understands its place in the human family.

How do I stop my dog from barking?

A very good question because dogs bark for different reasons, such as excitement, boredom, for protection etc. Some dogs are simply yappier than others because it is in their nature. Smaller dogs tend to be yappier.

One answer is to make a room in your home, such as the laundry, the "bark room." When the dog starts barking, say "No!" firmly and then add "bark room." Then immediately put the dog in the bark room until it settles down. When you release the dog repeat "bark room" so that it remembers what it was put in there for. While it is separated from its pack, the dog feels unhappy. Consistently and regularly do this and the dog will learn that barking leads to separation from its beloved family.

Bark collars should be a last resort, but are sometimes necessary in particularly obsessive barkers. Before you try a bark collar, try a water spray bottle filled with water and a squirt of lemon juice. When the dog barks, say "No!" firmly while at the same time squirting it in the face. Instead of spraying the dog, you may choose to use a high frequency device.in its place.

Should I allow my dog on my bed or on my furniture?

Cute Genevieve

Some trainers would suggest that it isn't good to allow a dog on your bed. It really depends on your situation. If you have a dog that is continually pushing to be the head of the household, then never allow it on your bed. Give it a bed of its own in your room if you wish or in another room such as the laundry.

Only ever allow a dog onto your bed if it understands that you are the leader of the pack and that it is only allowed on there after you are already on the bed. Then you can give it permission to go up. The same is true for other furniture. Only allow a dog onto human furniture if you or a family member is there first and then ensure you give dog permission to come up.

Once I train a dog then I never have to worry about training again do I?

Training of a dog is essential during its entire life. It will remind the dog that you are its leader and reinforce the training that it already knows.

The first six months of a dog's life are an important time for its training. For the first few months, you should be training your dog for around ten minutes every day, several times a day if possible. Once the dog understands and remembers its training, you can start doing it less often. Decrease the training as the dog gets older but still regularly take the dog through its paces. My 12 year old dog still gets excited at the word 'training' as the old routines give it comfort and reassurance and she loves the praise she receives.

My dog is dumb and can't seem to learn anything - what do I do?

Excuse my bluntness, but often times this situation is caused by a dumb and inconsistent human being rather than a dumb dog. Get some good and simple dog training books out of your local library. First train yourself so that you understands how a dog thinks and then introduce the basic commands one at a time: sit, stay, come, wait and heel.
Teach the dog one command at a time until it begins to master it before introducing a new command. Praise the dog continually and ensure you have some nice treats on hand to reward it with.

One of the main reasons that a dog can't be trained is because the human being is not taking the time nor showing the required patience needed for training to succeed. If you don't have the time or the patience, then don't get a dog.
Some dogs take longer to train than others, but all dogs can be trained. The same cannot be said for all human beings!
How do I stop my dog from messing inside my house?

The reasons that a dog messes inside a home can be complex. It may simply need more training or is just too young to get it right every time. Some dogs take longer to housebreak than others (smaller dogs can take more than a year.) It may be that the dog is confused about its position in the family pack and needs firm training - and not disciplining.

Never hit a dog or rub its nose in its mess. You will confuse it, because this is not the behaviour that a dog would receive in a real dog pack.

When the dog is new or young, take it outside every hour and repeat a phrase that you have chosen such as "pee pee" so your dog learns that "pee pee' means toilet time.Once the dog has completed its business, repeat your toileting phrase and praise the dog outrageously, while patting it. Also add in another phrase such as "Good girl/boy" which will be remembered by the dog as right phrase to aim for.

Can I praise my dog too much?

Scout playing dead

Usually not, but sometimes yes. Vary the tone of your voice so that the dog knows that an excited voice means 'really good,' and an ordinary voice means 'everything is ok.'

My dog is naughty --- how can I ...?

If you have a naughty dog, feel free to add in your question in the comments, section and I will be happy to respond. I cannot agree to answer all questions, because sometimes I do not know the full details of the situation in your household and what else may be influencing your dog.

Living in Gladstone, Queensland - Entry 3

2012-02-15T14:00:00.001+10:00

There's nothing quite like the sound of rain and a frog in a drainpipe - we had several weeks of rain that began towards the end of January.

"Mmmm unngghh puuuu mmmmm slup" I caught our cat Larci sucking on his blankie.

In early February I spotted a garden orb weaver spider setting up his dinner table for the evening.

We also received a visit from a very noisy cicada that our pets wanted to chew on.

The second visitor was this tawny frogmouth who found our clothesline a good vantage point from which to spot their dinner.

If you've ever lived in Queensland, chances are you'll know the sound of the Common Koel (aka Stormbird) - a very appropriate sound with all of the floods in this state earlier this month, as the stormbird is often heard during summer before storms or rain.

Living in Gladstone, Queensland - Entry 2

2012-02-13T14:00:00.002+10:00

I spotted a blue-faced honey-eater in my peg-basket on the clothesline, picking up the pegs and tossing them onto the ground. I'm not sure what it was trying to achieve, but it eventually grew bored with that and then attacked some string hanging there as well.

A few days later I snapped a photo of Genevieve who believes in sleeping in the most comfortable position possible.

For Australia Day on 26 January, I decided to create a very Australian hat to wear (if only on the net):

And what could be more Australian than feeding a native possum by hand?