Center of Logic

Today

2012-04-08T00:32:00.000-05:00

Damn.

So I haven't talked to you guys in ages. I've been busy. So, if you don't like it, you can kiss it. I haven't been too militant lately with my Atheism. I kind of miss it. I've let a lot of stupid crap slip by and I've become more tolerant. Not out of the sake of being tolerant, but out of lack of time to be more militant. It's okay. I'll get back to my offensive ways soon.

This is by no means an offensive blog to those of you who "believe". As I have said in the past, my objective is not to offend, but rather educate. With that being said, that's not what this blog is about.

So what is this blog post about? Who the hell knows. I'm just typing and whatever comes out comes out.
So recently I have decided to try to look better for myself and for my wife. My wife is putting me to shame. Marathon runner, mother of two, full time student, and everything else you can think of. She still finds time to work out and look hot as hell while my round ass continues to get rounder and rounder.

I kind of have been watching what I eat. Except for tonight. I had a damn bbq sandwich with sliced brisket, sliced sausage, and about 12 beers. I'm going to pay dearly for that. Oh well. Fuck it.

So I still have no idea what this damn post is about, but I have an idea of where I want to go with who I am. Stay tuned. Yes, I will write for a few days and most likely abandon you again. You will forget me and then hear from me again and think... Oh yeah, it's the fat ass who writes stupid shit.

So what is this blog post about? Who the hell knows, and who gives a damn because it's about over right now. Listen to some Mr. Bungle and come tell me about it in the comments below.

Smoking & Quitting - What it's Like Part 1 and 2

2011-09-23T11:25:00.000-05:00

Part 1 of Smoking and Quitting - What it's like
http://truewickless.hubpages.com/hub/Tobacco-Withdrawals-What-Its-Like

Part 1 of Smoking and Quitting - What it's like
http://truewickless.hubpages.com/hub/Smoking-Quitting-What-Its-Like-Part-II

Day 3 - I'm a Quitter

2011-09-21T14:42:00.000-05:00

So, it's day 3 of my attempt to quit smoking cigarettes. Have you touched one since Sunday? No. Ah, come on, man, don't lie!!! You've taken at least a puff, right?!
No.
The answer is no. I'm still a bit fuzzy headed. Can't think clearly at 100% as of yet.
I have eaten some things that I should not have eaten though. I have eaten too much, and I'll be paying for this dearly. I was doing so well with my weight, but now I am hungry at every turn, and this company keeps food stocked for us to eat at any given time. It's as if we were going into a Nuclear winter, and they want to make sure we survive so we can continue working through it.

It's 2:35 PM CDT. This is about the time I go outside and take a smoke break. I miss it. I'm not going outside though. I have not been able to concentrate in three days now, and I am behind on my work.

According to my nifty little app, I have been smoke free for 3.08 days. I have saved $21.60 so far, and I am now 44.09% free of addiction. There's other achievements as well, such as I have saved an hour of my life.

Whatever. I just want this shitty feeling to go away. I want the hunger to go away, and I want to stop giving my money away to the damn tobacco companies. It's amazing to me, how every EIGHT SECONDS someone dies from tobacco related illnesses. In the time it takes you to read this post, several people would have died from smoking, yet, people don't want to do anything about it because it's our right to smoke if we want to.

What is the difference between smoking a pack of cigs a day and ingesting the same chemicals in pill form every day? Either way, we're killing ourselves.

Well, that's enough of that. I said I wasn't going to preach. I'm not going to start now. If you want to quit, it's still your choice. Not mine.

I wish I could just go to bed right now. Screw all of this....

2 Days Continued - Longest Day EVER!!!

2011-09-20T15:26:00.000-05:00

So this is the longest damn day ever. I don't feel like talking to anyone. I don't want anyone talking to me. There's someone in the break room rearranging spoons or forks at this moment, and I can hear the clanking loudly as if it was right in my ear. I wish whoever it was, would just effin' stop already before I get up and rearrange their face.

Wow, I'm usually not this violent. Verbally or physically. Who am I kidding, I'm not going to get up and do anything to that person. I just want some natural thing like a bolt of lightning to do the job for me. I could not deal with cops right now anyway. I always wondered why some people resist arrest, and I bet for many of them it is because they haven't had a cigarette all damn day. THAT, yes, that right there would be a legitimate excuse for resisting arrest. So you can take one last drag from your cig, your square, your fag, your smoke.

I'm craving it right now. Seriously craving a cigarette at the moment. I could, I don't know what I could do. I could do something for one though. I know it's going to taste like shit if I do. I know I will feel guilty if I do. I also know that the cycle will be harder to break if I do. AHHHH!!!! Why do I have to make so much effin' sense?! Comment below. Tell me to stop being a puss and get over it.

2 Days - My Attempt At Quitting Continues

2011-09-20T08:29:00.000-05:00

So, I've made it to almost 48 hours. 4 more hours and it will be two complete days.
Yesterday is a bit of a blur, although I do know that I did not touch a single cigarette. I did pig out though, and that is not the way to quit. I cannot replace one addiction with another. It's okay though, I did it on purpose. I've been down this road before and I know what happens to most people when they quit smoking. They blow up like balloons. The waist size increases and they get huge faces. They get FAT.

I've been there before. Right now I am going through a life changing crisis/experience/experiment if you will. I'm a diabetic, but not bad enough to be on meds. I have high blood pressure, but it's being controlled by meds. I also take meds for my high cholesterol.

Smoking is not doing me any favors at all. I am personally tired of being a slave to Philip Morris, maker of Marlboro cigarettes. I am sick, yes, literally sick of giving my hard earned money to them. They have lied to us for years, and through the lies, they know that once the hook is in our mouth, that breaking loose is almost impossible.

I understand that I will always have a craving for cigs. I know this. I've been through it. I know because I have quit for a year, and just as quick, I was hooked again.

I will tell you this though, it is the most potent drug, as far as addictive properties, that I have ever taken. I have never had an issue quitting anything else, and staying off it. Nicotine, however, is my ultimate weakness.

Well, it's day two. Like I said before, I'm not going to try and preach to you that you should quit along with me. You will do so if you ever please. Chances are that you are too weak to quit. No, it's not an insult. I am and have been a weakling as well. I am just trying to muster up enough strength to do this for a few days at a time, so that I can muster up more strength.

It's a process that has to be taken one step at a time. I decided on going cold turkey, and it is extremely difficult.

So what do I feel like today? I feel a bit empty. Sad. I feel as if I am missing something. It's okay though, this will come and go. As far as the food goes, today, I will control what I eat. Yesterday, being my first day, I allowed myself to pig out. Today, is different though. I have a little more control today. I am a little less weaker, and a little bit stronger.

If you are trying to quit as well, I wish you all the luck in the world. Take it one step at a time.

An Open Apology To My Parents For Being A Teen

2011-09-19T16:20:00.000-05:00

Dear Mom & Dad,

It is me, your son. Yes, your older son. The one who is now 37 years old and knows a lot less about life than he did when he was 13,14,15,16,17,18, and 19 years of age. Yes, those years are the years when I was omniscient. I knew it all back then, and I am not sure what happened since. The older I get, the more I realize how little I know about life and the world around me.

Those were the times when if anyone presented me with a problem, I had a straight answer for them. There was no having to think about any process. The answers just came to me, and they were golden. Those were the years when I was able to drive my car at 130 MPH without consequence. Those were the years when I got into heavy drinking and light drug use. Somehow, I avoided encounters with the law every time. I was after all, a know it all teen.

Well, I now have a teen of my own. She has just turned 15 years old, and wouldn't you know it, by golly gee. She knows it all!!!! I feel so stupid around her. I mean, with my measly 37 years that I have spent on this planet, I should know more than she does right? Wrong. She's a teen, and she knows it all. She is defiant, careless, selfish, self absorbed and she is OMNISCIENT, just as I was at her age.

She could care less about her family at this moment, but it's okay, she knows exactly what she's doing.

Or does she? Or did I? Or does anyone at that tender age?

For a period of time in our lives, we become (excuse the term, please) retarded. Yes, we become mentally incapable of understanding logic or reason in its many forms. We become unable to fully analyze a situation and realize that it is extremely idiotic, dangerous or both. We have a sense of empowerment that overwhelms our thoughts and our parents, well, they're shit. They are nothing. They do not understand. How could they? They're old and their "time has passed". They were in their prime once and now they are like an expired carton of milk, just sitting there, rotting and spoiling away.

Teens, with all due respect, are a bunch of idiots. If you are a teen and you think you're not an idiot, then just go ahead and punch your monitor, spit at my blog, or go cry yourself in a little corner, because yes, girl, yes boy, you, yes you, are a complete idiot. I don't care how intelligent you are. You are an idiot and you will be so until your frontal lobes are fully connected.

It's not the fault of the teen. It's not, really. It's just nature, and the way we have evolved. We go from sweet loving kids, into hormone raging, idiotic teens, then into logical thinking adults. Well, many of us do.

So, getting back to the point of this post. My original intent is to publicly apologize to my parents for having been a teenager. Mom, Dad, please know that I love you with all my heart. Please know that I would never do anything to hurt you. I am past my idiotic stage, and now that I have a teen of my own, I understand a fraction of what you felt when I was a teen. This of course being that I was 20 times worse than my lovely daughter.

I apologize for all the drunken nights, all the unprotected sex, all the unfinished projects, all the drugs and all the malice, pain, and suffering that I caused. I now get to go through this, and hopefully not as strongly as you two did. I appreciate you more than ever before. Thank you for putting up with my idiotic, stupid teen age ass of a person that I was. I love you.

1 Day - My Attempt To Quit

2011-09-19T14:46:00.001-05:00

So I have quit smoking before. It has mostly been easy, but every time I quit, it is a little more difficult each time. I'm 37 years old. I took up smoking one day in the garage of a friend of mine. I recall the brand as well. It was a Marlboro Red. I don't recall who was the one that gave it to me. I hold nothing against that person though. I would have gotten from someone else if it was not from her, or him, although I am mostly sure that it was a female. I am almost mostly sure that I was dating her at the time, and I am definitely sure that she is no longer part of my life. Well, we'll always have that link, and I am far from grateful.

Approximately 17 years, and almost 20,000 cigarettes later, I sit here. I feel like crap. I cannot concentrate. I feel short of breath even. I am used to smoking 20 cigarettes per day, and I have not smoked one since 12:33 PM CDT yesterday around noon. So it has been slightly over 24 hours since I took my last puff and I feel as if I am dying.

According to this android app I found, Quit Now!, I have not smoked in 1.07 days, I have saved $7.52, I have saved 2 hours and 6 minutes, my sudden risk of death has decreased by 100% just from quitting for a day, and my CO/O2 levels have reached normalcy once again.

I will tell you this, I feel FAR from normal!!! Every voice, every slight change of temperature annoys me at this point. I almost broke down several times today. Yes, I stepped outside where there were smokers, and I walked by them like a shark swimming in traces of blood. I wanted to take a cig from them and just inhale that sweet smoke, but I just kept walking. I walked inside where there are no lit cigs, and there is very little temptation.

See though, here's the trick. My mind sees cigs as something soothing, however as I smoke them, they are far from soothing. The nicotine masks that horrible smell, and it masks that burning you feel inside your lungs. It masks a lot of other things as well.

I have been thinking too, so forgive me if this first blog post about quitting rambles on. Oh yes, and I cannot guarantee I will remain smoke free, so I'm not trying to be some holier than though asswipe that just found smoke free jesus and is now trying to preach at you and how bad you are for smoking.

No, it is nothing like that. I am just here to release my thoughts and if you care to read them, then you read them, if you don't like it, there's the X button on the top left, and bon voyage. Okay, now for those who have stayed...

It has been a few weeks that I have been thinking, and mind you, I have not come up with this myself. I don't recall where I heard it and it just seems like a dream in a haze at the moment. My thoughts are not 100% clear, as if you have not yet figured that out yet...

I heard somewhere that when your addiction comes before your kids, before your family, before yourself, then it is really an addiction that needs to be dealt with. Yes, I've tried a little of everything here and there and I even have a few drinks on the weekend. I have a few with my wife on Friday nights, to just let go and have fun. We do this because it IS fun, it helps me relax and let go of the week full of crap that I had to endure. Come Saturday morning, I'm mostly fine, and I don't want anymore alcohol. At least not until next Friday.

Cigs however, are a different story. I ignore my kids, my wife, my life, my dog, and everything else just to get that fix. I feel guilty, and I tell myself, it's just a few minutes, and I need some "ME" time. That me time though keeps adding up. My kids are growing up fast. They have important things to tell me, and I just tell them to go back inside, that I will be there shortly.

I can't imagine what they are feeling at that moment of excitement to get shot down by a dad who has to finish that horrible cigarette first, because that white little rolled up piece of tobacco comes first, before they do. Always.

I told you this was horrible. It's depressing even, but it is helping me to keep from rationalizing a reason for me to get into that elevator, go into the basement of this building and purchase a $7 pack of cigs that will be smoked by 2:33 PM tomorrow afternoon. Those cigs that will consume over an hour and a half of my next 24 hours. Those cigs that will take time away from my children and my wife.

Like I said, it has only been a little over 24 Hours since I "quit". I don't know how long it will last. I don't know if this will be permanent. I have escaped from this prison before, and I was out of it for an entire year at the longest. How, and why did I come back to it? Ask that criminal why he keeps going back to prison. I don't know if it is the same thing, but I do know that it is an addiction.

People how say that they can quit any time they want, but they don't because they enjoy it are full of shit. I'll tell that that much. I didn't know that, because I was full of shit.

If you are shaking your head right now, telling yourself that I'm full of it because you can quit any time you want, then you too, are full of shit.

Anyone can quit at any time they want. That is not the point. The point is quitting, and staying off the cigs forever. We'll just see what happens in the next episode. Will I give you an update tomorrow? I don't know, I guess you'll have to find out...

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So I lasted 5 days... boo

2011-07-21T16:16:00.001-05:00

Yes, I only lasted 5 days of the 10 that I needed to complete my fast. There were several factors that kept me from doing this. One of the biggest was TIME. It's my fault. I admit it. I'm not going to try and blame it on other things. I will however, beginning this Sunday, start a juicing schedule that will go every week from Sunday through Thursday. On Fridays and Saturdays, I will pig out like never before... just kidding. Still going to try to eat healthy on those days. I cannot guarantee it, but it's the damn weekend, get over it.
On another note, I will make another attempt in a few months after my body has settled down and I can have more discipline and time. It took one night of cheating, and the lack of time to buy more veggies and fruit to get me to today, which would have been day 6.
Apparently, I did not prepare well enough for this journey and it had to end abruptly. Don't be sad for me. I'm not. Stay tuned for more posts!!!

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Day 5... Because I cheated

2011-07-20T14:18:00.002-05:00

Well, here I sit. Numb and depressed in this gray box I call my office. I don't know if you took a look at my last post, bu I cheated last night. I ate some jerk chicken. Am I sorry I did it? Nahh. I felt guilty at first. I felt like I ate a cinder block, and I still felt that up until this morning. Right now though, I feel fine. I haven't eaten anything today. I haven't even drank my juice. I ran out of a lot of stuff and didn't get a chance to replenish it.
My wife goes to school and we don't get home till 8:00 pm. By that time, I'm so exhausted that I can't bring myself to get to the store.
Soooo, I've been drinking water all day. Very unhealthy. Very poor choice. It's not good to turn a juice fasting into a jerk chicken attack and then a water fast. I would rather drink my water though, and keep cleansing myself and then tomorrow I can start in on my juice again.
Where's your high?! Is that you talking to me? or am I having auditory hallucinations? Maybe it was just my stapler, who knows. Anyway. Sorry, don't have a juice high right now. That came and went with the juice. What a boring damn post!!! Someone comment on it and tell me how much it sucks!!

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I'm a cheater - Now I'm paying for it...

2011-07-20T09:17:00.001-05:00

Good morning everyone. No, I'm no Arnold Schwarzenegger, so it was not my wife I cheated on.
I cheated on my juicing fast. My food cravings got the best of me. It was around 8:00 PM last night, and I was out of fruit at home. All I had left was kale, collard greens and a few carrots. Maybe an apple as well, but that was it.
My co-worker had asked me earlier in the day yesterday if I knew of any good Caribbean jerk chicken places.
I LOVE JAMAICAN JERK CHICKEN. I FREAKING LOVE IT. I have not had any of that in years because for some reason, Houston has a shortage of Jamaican restaurants.
So I looked up this website, www.caibbeanjerkcuisine.com and that was the end of it all. I had baked jerk chicken, I did take off the skin, and I did not eat all my rice, and I did eat all my veggies. Still, this is not an excuse.
Today I am paying dearly for it. I feel like I ate a cinder block and it's just sitting there in my stomach. Was it worth it? Hellz yeah it was worth it.
Am I going to continue with my juice fasting? Yes, unfortunately I will because I have to.
Have you slipped? Just once? Don't worry, it happens all the time. Recovering addicts go through it and some people don't see it, but food can also be an addiction. I made it four days. That is a lot longer than I thought I could make it. Let's just see how much longer I can stand this. I'll write more later. Cya for now.

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Day 4 continued... Feeling Sluggish and Depressed!!!

2011-07-19T13:21:00.003-05:00

Well, here we are it's a little after 1:00 PM and I just finished my lunch juice. blaaaahhh!!! Tastes like crap even more each day. I am feeling down and depressed. I feel weak, almost like I have a cold. I am sitting here thinking... Is this normal? The answer is YES. Unfortunately it IS normal to feel like crap when going through a juice fasting.
I had to do some research and found this website http://healthrecipes.com/fast26.htm
That part where the link leads talks about how to come out of a juice fasting. Ooops, I had not thought of that. My first thought was to go to Taco Cabana and pounce on a plate of unsuspecting nachos as a reward for doing so well. Ehemmm... Not so fast says the digestive system. Do that and you're going down like a pile of bricks. I have to actually ease my body out of this!!! This is insane! Why am I doing this to myself? What in the world did I do so wrong to deserve this?!!?!! Oh, yeah... Years of mistreating my body, that's what I did.
So, the depression and weakness is just the body burning off toxins and using them as fuel. Yippy f*cking Yay. Tha'ts the last thing I need, to be working off toxins. I suppose I have to burn off all those McRibs, BK burgers, Taco Bell, and my beloved ... Bacon:( Oh how I love you my beautiful bacon with your crunchy meaty parts and how you make me happy like a crack head that just found a rock the size of a car.
Sorry, went off on one of my little food daydreams. As I sit here my energy level is low. I feel alert, yet tired. I am awake, yet half asleep. Is this what menopause feels like? I would never know. I'm a man, but if this is what it feels like, I'm going to start stocking up on bottles of wine for when my wife goes through it.
Well, I might write more this evening or I may not, depending on what happens. I have nowhere to hang out this evening because of the rain, unless it stops. Maybe I'll take D to the public library and show him what it was like to read back in the old days before computers, iPads and smartphones...

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Day 4 of Juicing. Wow

2011-07-19T08:51:00.000-05:00

Sorry about last night. I was not feeling so well. As I mentioned in my last post, I had forgotten to include LOTS of water in my fasting, and I ended up constipated. Yeah, TMI, but I thought you should know.
More TMI. I am no longer constipated. I feel great this morning. One more thing I should point out is that I have gotten a full nights sleep EVERY night since I started this juicing fast. I feel refreshed this morning.
On another note, my juice still tastes like complete crap. I hate the taste and I hate the smell. It's not so bad once I am done with it, and I don't have to think about it again for several more hours.

This morning I am drinking a combo of kale, carrots, strawberries, apple, collard greens, green beans and something else. I have excluded the onion today because yesterday I had an embarrassing moment in the elevator. I got in and I had my drink with me, which REEKED of onion. I work on the 12th floor and the lady in the elevator with me, had to get off on the 10th. By the time we reached the 10th floor, I thought she was going to lose her noodles. She started gagging and coughing and I know she was happy to leave that elevator.

It was embarrassing because she probably will never get into the same elevator as me, thinking I always smell like a field of onions and greens. Oh well, her loss, not mine haha!

It's day four and one thing I can say is that I TERRIBLY miss bacon!!! Yes, bacon. Bacon is what defines a man and his ability to be manly. Well, not really, but for you bacon lovers, you know what I mean. I have also been craving nachos from Taco Cabana. I know some of you don't like taco cabana, but I do. Not all of them. I do like the one near my house though. Their nachos rock!!!

So what am I going to do after these ten days are up? I think I know. I don't have a plan set in stone per say. I do know however, that my eating habits are changing for the long run. How long will it last? I don't even know that either. This is just an attempt to change my lifestyle and become healthier.

I know I'm not going to become a health nut and trade in my bacon for collard greens. I'm still going to eat bacon, just not every other day. I'm still going to have a burger, just not 3 times a week, and I'm still going to sit on the couch and watch a movie, but I will take a run on my treadmill a little more often.

Right now I am down to my fourth belt loop. My gut hasn't seen that in a while. Well, let's see what happens the rest of the day. If anything major happens, I'll update you again today, and if not, then we'll see each other tomorrow!! Have a great day!

Day 3 Continued... :(

2011-07-18T20:42:00.000-05:00

So, it's the evening of the third day of my juice fasting. I managed to get myself constipated because I was not thirsty and have not been drinking as much water as I should have. Good going dufus!
I almost lost it a while ago. Coming back from picking up my wife from school. I had to talk myself into not going to get some loaded nachos. Wow, my mouth just watered!!!
I'm too much of a bad mood to write much more right now. I hope tomorrow morning is better than tonight has been. The day started out great, but this is not my happy time... I drank only some fruit juice tonight. That's it for today. Good night...

Day 3 of Juicing. What the hell is that I'm seeing through the wall?!

2011-07-18T10:16:00.000-05:00

Good morning! It's Monday July 18, 2011. So it's day THREE of my juicing event or whatever you call it. So far, this morning I woke up sleepy as hell, but within an hour or so I became more alert than I have been in years. I feel as if I can see through the granite walls of the building where I work. Also this morning, like a dog, I could smell individual smells coming from the exhaust of a nearby restaurant. I smelled cheesecake, sugar, bacon, and even French Toast!!
What the hell is all that about?! Yeah, so far I am full of energy and I don't even know what to do with myself. I could climb the air right now and bungee from a cloud. It's almost as if I took some liquid crack and I'm flying like a kite. Will there be a crash? I don't know. I'll post some more later this evening and tell you how the rest of my day went. If you're juicing along with me or don't know me, good luck to you and just stick with it. Yeah, first couple of days SUCK!!! But it seems to be getting better...

Juicing! Losing weight, becoming healthy. It sucks!

2011-07-17T19:12:00.003-05:00

Well, today is my second day of "juicing". I bought a Breville juicer and I began juicing yesterday. The first day was not so bad. TODAY though, is freaking terrible! It sucks! It bites! It's just horrible!!!
I'm in a bad mood, my neighbor is barbecuing, and everything on TV is a damn commercial for FOOD. Mmmmm, Fooooood...
I made a promise to myself to detox for at least ten days. TEN long ass days. Ten HUNGRY days. My laptop is looking rather tasty. I have been trying to keep myself occupied by watching movies. Mainly horror movies, but guess what. People in horror movies are chowing down as well.
At times it feels completely hopeless and I am about to crash through my neighbor's fence and the shape of my round body will leave a hole it's shape on the fence. I want to go through it and jump on the grill like a crazed hungry zombie and start tearing away at the fajitas he is grilling. Come to think of it, his dogs are looking tasty right about now.
Alas, I cannot do any of that. I have to have discipline and drink my juice. So far, my routine has been waking up, and making some fresh home made juice.
Last Friday, after work, my wife, son and I went to Caninos Farmer's Market on Airline Drive in Houston, TX. We bought Kale, Collard Greens, Green Beans, Radishes, Bananas, Peaches, Apples, Broccoli, and a plethora of other fruits and veggies.
I've been trying to mix it up so I don't get bored of the taste. So far I've discovered that I hate grapefruit. I really, really, really HATE grapefruit. I knew I hated it before, but I did not know I hated it so much until know. It has got to be the absolute worst fruit on the face of the Earth as far as taste goes. Cat poo juice would probably taste so much better... maybe.
I am moody and sleepy. I tried going for a swim a while ago. Still sitting in my wet shorts by the way. However, there were too many kids in the pool and they were annoying the hell out of me. What is logical you say? To just quit and go get a burger? Yeah, it would be. Very logical indeed. Only if I wanted to go back to my lifestyle and continue to be a lard ass. Mind you, I have already lost 25 pounds or so in the past year. I am still overweight by 23 pounds. Those 23 pounds have got me on the edge of diabetes. They have me in 1st stage hypertension, and with a cholesterol count that looks like a number for the population of a small city.
So far, my doctor has me on two medications. One for blood pressure and one for cholesterol. She wants to put me on meds for diabetes as well. I am freaking 37 years old for crying out loud!!!
Do I expect to be on 9 different meds by the time I am 45? I can only imagine. Here's my bp meds, chol meds, heart meds, diabetes meds, rash meds, bed sore meds, and oh yeah, how about throw some penis meds in there too while I'm at it!!!??? NO THANKS!!!
Seriously though, when I was nearly 50 pounds overweight depression set in, and I felt like a nobody. I didn't know I had high blood pressure until I had a raging headache for an ENTIRE month!!! That's when reality kicked in. I started exercising, and eating better. After about 8 months of that, I slowly started going back to my old habits. I didn't gain anymore weight because I was still conscious of my health issues.
About two weeks ago, I visited my doctor again and that is when she said she was going to stick me on even more meds. Did reality kick in again? Nope. This time it was denial. Complete 100% unrefined DENIAL. This isn't happening to me... I'm too young. She can't be right. What a bitch!!!
Then a friend of mine recommended that I watch this documentary. Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead. Look it up in your Netflix if you have it. It's available for instant view right now. That's if Netflix doesn't jack up the prices another 600%... That's a different story though.
Anyway, after watching this documentary and seeing this fat guy lose all this weight, and get off his meds, it gave me hope. Yeah, go figure. I got my inspiration from TV. So here I am at 187 pounds. Only 25 pounds lighter than a year ago, and I need to get this flab off me ASAP before I need meds for my willie. Can you do it? Wanna go at this with me? Let me know. We will give each other support. Post your comments below and let's get healthy!!

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