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			<h2>Cerebral Flotsam And Jetsam <span>- My Mental Maelstrom</span></h2>
		
			
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<article id="post-6653" class="group post-standard post-6653 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-actormusician-extraordinaire category-flotsam-and-jetsam">	
	
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				<div class="post-details-day">02</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">Jun</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2026</div>
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<p>When I was a young musician, I used to sit around playing music for hours just for the pure pleasure of it. I wasn&#8217;t necessarily learning songs for bands or rehearsing for anything in particular. I just loved learning and playing. Now, somewhere over 40 years into my career, I&#8217;m almost always preparing, learning, and rehearsing for various bands and upcoming gigs. However I have recently made sure to keep that perspective and remember that I love doing this. It&#8217;s not work or an obligation. It&#8217;s not a chore that is keeping me from something else. It is still something I love and enjoy. This perspective is so important and makes all this &#8220;homework&#8221; so much infinitely more enjoyable.</p>
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<article id="post-6638" class="group post-standard post-6638 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-dream-theater">	
	
	<div class="post-details">
			
				<div class="post-details-day">13</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">May</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2026</div>
		<div class="post-details-time">22:08</div>
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		<h2 class="post-title">
			<a href="https://heathallyn.com/dream-theatre-94/" rel="bookmark">Dream Theatre 94</a>
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<p>In today&#8217;s nap dream (REPEAT THIS WAS A DREAM):</p>



<p>I was trying to figure out the best way to dispose of a body. I was doing it for $30 for a man who said this person had owed him money and this was also my third time performing this service. I tried to make myself feel better by believing this must have been a bad person involved in crime or something. I had the body mostly covered so I couldn&#8217;t see the face, and was trying to cut the head off with a sword, and it was not going well. It was taking many swings. I was also house/pet sitting and trying to figure out what I should do. Bury it in the yard? I considered searching the internet for solutions but thought it best not to have that in my search history. Burying in the yard was a lot of work, and if the (now 3) bodies were discovered they might think that I also was responsible for their deaths. I really wondered why I was doing this for only $30 and was really regretting getting involved in this. Even worse, 3 times. </p>



<p>Then I woke up not very rested. </p>
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<article id="post-6595" class="group post-standard post-6595 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-actormusician-extraordinaire">	
	
	<div class="post-details">
			
				<div class="post-details-day">17</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">Mar</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2026</div>
		<div class="post-details-time">23:34</div>
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		<h2 class="post-title">
			<a href="https://heathallyn.com/my-new-emerald-x20-carbon-fiber-acoustic/" rel="bookmark">My New Emerald X20 Carbon Fiber Acoustic</a>
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<p>My new Emerald X20 carbon fiber acoustic guitar arrived on Saturday, and let me not bury the lede, I absolutely love it. The best acoustic I personally have ever played. Now for the longer version.</p>



<p>In 2009 I purchased a Rain Song carbon fiber acoustic which I did quite like and that I played until 2025. Though I loved a lot about it, something never really fully bonded with me. I always felt like I had to fight it a bit. It had a very flat 20&#8243; radius fretboard which just wasn&#8217;t the best for my hands. Also, as a traditionally shaped acoustic, my right forearm would always be bruised after a gig from resting on the edge of the body and being a fairly energetic player. I felt like the action could have been lower, but a luthier had already taken the saddle down about as far as possible, and in fact had to file a slight slot in the bridge to accommodate even getting the high E that low. There was no truss rod to adjust because carbon fiber guitars are rigid enough that they don&#8217;t need one. Strangely enough, Rain Song later changed their neck design to incorporate one just because guitarists were so used to having one that they didn&#8217;t like a neck with no truss rod, even if it wasn&#8217;t needed.</p>



<p>At some point in 2025, I can&#8217;t even remember why, I started looking up information about it on the internet and found out that Rain Song had shut down. Lots of people were talking about Emerald acoustic guitars, an Irish company who I had never heard of, as now being the best carbon fiber guitars around, so I started researching out of pure curiosity. Eventually I decided that I really thought I needed one and that it very well might be a &#8220;forever&#8221; guitar for me. The company seemed to be a really great small company who put a lot of thought and care into their instruments and design. </p>



<p>Some things that caught my interest were that the bodies were designed very ergonomically. A nice forearm bevel for comfort. Contoured back so it was comfortable against your body. A contoured bottom edge so that it sat at a more natural angle on your leg when sitting. Stainless steel frets so you would never need a fret job done on it. A slightly less flat 16&#8243; radius. Their neck do have a truss rod, though I suspect it&#8217;s for the same reason Rain Song added one, just because guitarists freak out at the idea of no truss rod. I believe I read somewhere that Emerald as said they don&#8217;t &#8220;need&#8221; one but put it there just as another adjustment option. There are many more options for customization as well. You could pick one from their stock or use the &#8220;guitar builder&#8221; on their site to build one totally customized to your liking, which of course means you&#8217;ll be waiting longer to get it. I chose the custom route. An absolute bare bones acoustic will run you about $2600 at the time of this post. Every option you add from there adds to the price. Various pickup options, many gorgeous wood veneer options purely for aesthetics, &#8220;vibrant&#8221; carbon weave colors, fretboard and inlay options, custom neck radius or width options, all available at a premium.</p>



<p>I kept it fairly simple. I added an adjustable bridge like an electric with individual saddles so you can adjust string height and intonation very easily. I also chose to have a dual pickup system where the saddles are Ghost Piezo saddles, and there are also K&amp;K Mini transducers on the soundboard. This is a really great combo as the piezos (which sound as good as any piezo I&#8217;ve ever heard) give you great top end and cut through the mix, while the K&amp;K transducers give you warmth and a more natural acoustic sound. I also chose a green carbon weave at no additional cost as I had no desire to hide the carbon weave under a wood veneer, for a total of $2845 but I got $100 discount for being a first time customer, so $2745. </p>



<p>I placed my order on October 9, 2025 and knew I was looking at about a 6 month wait most likely. I also sold my trusty Rain Song to a new happy home to help finance my new guitar. It showed up in one of Emerald&#8217;s shipping videos on January 16, 2026. I knew that to not have to deal with tariffs and such, the guitar would have to go by ocean from their Ireland factory to New Jersey (I think), then by truck to Emerald&#8217;s new Florida showroom, and then by truck to me. It cleared customs on March 1, shipped from Florida on March 11 and arrived to me on March 14.</p>



<p>I had a gig that night so I unboxed it, played a few chords on it, and headed out to the gig where I would be using it on the first song of the night. When I got it hooked up at sound check, I thought 1 of the 2 pickup systems wasn&#8217;t working which was a major bummer. Was I going to have to send it all the way back to Ireland or maybe get my local luthier to fix it at their cost hopefully? Luckily not. Turns out the problem was a very niche situation. The dual pickup system has a volume for each system. You can use a standard cable to send both mixed to one source or you can use a stereo TRS cable and a Y splitter to send each system to separate sources if you want. I was using my Line 6 G10 wireless unit, forgetting that the transmitter has a TRS tip but uses one side for audio and the other side for charging. So the guitar saw TRS and was trying to send the piezo pickup to part of the tip just meant for charging. When I tried it out with a regular cable at home, all was well. I did use it for 4 songs at the gig with just the K&amp;K pickup and it sounded great.</p>



<p>Over the 3 days since the gig, I have played this guitar a <em>lot</em>, getting to know it and absolutely falling in love with it. I am constantly inspired to pick it up and play it just for fun even if I&#8217;m not specifically working on something for a gig. It is the most comfortable and playable acoustic I&#8217;ve ever played. Every Emerald goes through their &#8220;PLEK&#8221; process where a machine gets the frets and action set up with incredible precision, and then of course it gets hand finished to perfection. I got this guitar knowing that its main use would be live gigs plugged in and amplified, so while the actual acoustic sound wasn&#8217;t my highest priority, I did hope it wouldn&#8217;t fall short there, and personally I don&#8217;t think it does. I really like the acoustic sound as well. I was worried that I might have been a bit spoiled by my Rain Song which had a great acoustic and was the loudest acoustic I had ever heard. The Emerald has an offset sound hole on the upper bout that channels sound to the player as well as out front to any listeners so it definitely sounds loud to me when I&#8217;m playing it, though I&#8217;m not sure exactly how it compares when listening from the front. Obviously it&#8217;s all subjective and comparing two guitars can be very difficult, especially since I don&#8217;t have the Rain Song any more to directly compare side by side, but I definitely don&#8217;t think I could be happier with my Emerald. I used it plugged in for a rehearsal tonight and was ecstatic with the sound I got out of it.</p>



<p>It also came in a really nice TKL hard case that is fitted absolutely perfectly. And as a bonus &#8220;Thank you,&#8221; Emerald included a beautiful hand-made mug from Moville Pottery in Ireland. I love that I once again have the excitement and desire to grab this guitar and play it all the time. It has most definitely met or exceeded all expectations and I hope to be playing it a lot in the coming year as I want to get more solo acoustic gigs happening and actually start playing my long-neglected originals live.</p>
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<article id="post-6591" class="group post-standard post-6591 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-actormusician-extraordinaire">	
	
	<div class="post-details">
			
				<div class="post-details-day">15</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">Mar</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2026</div>
		<div class="post-details-time">22:40</div>
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		<h2 class="post-title">
			<a href="https://heathallyn.com/austin-tribute-band-community-awards-2026/" rel="bookmark">Austin Tribute Band Community Awards 2026</a>
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<p>I am well and truly SHOCKED (and I&#8217;m not just saying that to be &#8220;humble&#8221;) to not only again be nominated for &#8220;Best Multi-instrumentalist&#8221; (which I previously won thanks to all of you who voted) but ALSO &#8220;Best Male Vocalist&#8221; and &#8220;Best Performer&#8221; in the ATBC Awards. Tons of immensely talented folks in all the categories. I encourage you to go vote for your favorites and support local music and musicians!</p>



<p>FAB!, the Beatles tribute I&#8217;m in is also nominated for &#8220;Best New Artist&#8221;</p>



<p>Yacht Z, the yacht rock band I&#8217;m in is nominated for &#8220;Best Cover Band&#8221; (as well as Skyrocket who I have the pleasure of subbing with occasionally).</p>



<p>I was also in the &#8220;Band On The Run&#8221; and &#8220;Heat of the Moment &#8211; ASIA tribute&#8221; one-off special projects.</p>



<p>I&#8217;m also in several bands with Chris Nine and Matt Patterson who are both nominated as well!</p>



<p>If you&#8217;d like to support me, local music in general, or any other of your favorite Austin musicians who are nominated, you can <a href="https://forms.gle/NJaSBFaXx2HNaEJw8">vote here!</a></p>



<p></p>
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<article id="post-6587" class="group post-standard post-6587 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-actormusician-extraordinaire category-flotsam-and-jetsam">	
	
	<div class="post-details">
			
				<div class="post-details-day">15</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">Mar</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2026</div>
		<div class="post-details-time">22:30</div>
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		<h2 class="post-title">
			<a href="https://heathallyn.com/vague-ruminations-on-stairway-to-heaven/" rel="bookmark">Vague Ruminations on &#8220;Stairway To Heaven&#8221;</a>
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<p>Firstly I always though and still think it&#8217;s a great song. I grew up in a time when people liked it in earnest and it had not yet become the cliche/punchline that it would become. People actually wanted to hear you play it. I just had the most vague traces a of a memory. I think it was in high school at some point and Eric Taylor (I think) recruited me and Richard Bade to be in a one-off band playing for a school talent show (I think). Eric was a great guitar player and I *think* I was just singing it, a rarity. My 6 month tenure on a cruise ship is the only other time I&#8217;ve been a dedicated vocalist who wasn&#8217;t also playing an instrument (and a one-off sub gig with Tumbling Dice, a great Rolling Stones tribute). Still a strange feeling to me when I do it. I&#8217;m sure there must have been at least one or two other folks involved in that band but I can&#8217;t remember who. I also have vague recollections of all kinds of technical snafus wreaking havoc with the one-song performance. It&#8217;s all so vague, I can&#8217;t swear by any of this. Other than I still think it&#8217;s a banger.</p>
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<article id="post-6570" class="group post-standard post-6570 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-dream-theater">	
	
	<div class="post-details">
			
				<div class="post-details-day">19</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">Jan</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2026</div>
		<div class="post-details-time">21:39</div>
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		<h2 class="post-title">
			<a href="https://heathallyn.com/dream-theatre-93/" rel="bookmark">Dream Theatre 93</a>
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<p>Weirdly another musician equipment anxiety dream last night once again starring Skyrocket! In the dream we were playing in an HEB. We got to the song “Der Kommissar” and I realized I hadn’t hooked up my guitar stuff yet so I frantically hooked it up as fast as I could but missed most of the song. Then it was time for “99 Luftballoons” and I started scrolling through keyboard sounds and couldn’t find it. I then realized that though I had recently upgraded, I had brought the old keyboard which didn’t have my sounds (they were both almost identical looking Nords). At break I was very apologetic and feared they would never hire me again. I made plans to just try and do the best with what I had and find sounds that worked.</p>
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<article id="post-6561" class="group post-standard post-6561 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-actormusician-extraordinaire">	
	
	<div class="post-details">
			
				<div class="post-details-day">15</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">Jan</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2026</div>
		<div class="post-details-time">22:20</div>
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		<h2 class="post-title">
			<a href="https://heathallyn.com/2025-rickenbacker-4003s-review/" rel="bookmark">2025 Rickenbacker 4003S Review</a>
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<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" fetchpriority="high" decoding="async" width="400" height="600" data-attachment-id="6566" data-permalink="https://heathallyn.com/2025-rickenbacker-4003s-review/ric2/" data-orig-file="https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric2.jpg?fit=875%2C1313&amp;ssl=1" data-orig-size="875,1313" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="Ric2" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-large-file="https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric2.jpg?fit=400%2C600&amp;ssl=1" src="https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric2.jpg?resize=400%2C600&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-6566" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric2.jpg?resize=400%2C600&amp;ssl=1 400w, https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric2.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w, https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric2.jpg?resize=100%2C150&amp;ssl=1 100w, https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric2.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric2.jpg?w=875&amp;ssl=1 875w" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" /></figure>



<p>I&#8217;ve been playing bass for 40+ years. A Ric was never particularly on my &#8220;wish list&#8221; or anything though I knew they were great basses. Over the decades, the more I played and learned about various basses, I started to think a Ric might just be a good fit for me. I finally decided to take the plunge and I am completely sold. I could go on for days about all the things I love. I chose the 4003S because it has a more rounded and comfortable body since it has no binding. The models with binding I find uncomfortable on the right forearm. And also the dot inlays are what McCartney had and we all know I love me some McCartney.</p>



<p>First let&#8217;s talk sound. Anyone who says a Ric is a &#8220;one-trick pony&#8221; must not have ever spent any time with one. Between the 2 pickups, the pickup selector, the 2 volumes allowing any mix of the 2 pickups, the 2 tone controls, and the &#8220;Vintage/Modern&#8221; push/pull pot for the treble pickup there&#8217;s not a sound I can imagine that this bass wouldn&#8217;t cover. I found myself really liking the &#8220;vintage&#8221; voicing which makes the treble pickup have less bass in it so that you almost use the two pickups as EQ. You get you trebly bite from the bridge, and your meaty bass from the neck. In the &#8220;Modern&#8221; voicing the bridge pickup has a lot more bass, kind of equivalent to running both pickups in the Vintage voicing. So many tonal options.</p>



<p>It played great right out of the box. The newer ones now have only a single truss rod, as opposed to older Rics having a dual truss rod system that I had seen a lot of complaints about. The neck was wider, but thinner and flatter than I was used to, but I adapt easily and enjoy playing it. I found the neck pickup was way too low so I raised that and liked it much more. There are also roller saddles on the V2 bridge, which overall is a big upgrade addressing many of the problems I had read people complaining about on older Ric bridges such as ease of intonation. The rollers adjust side to side spacing so be careful when stringing as pulling a string across the roller can make it roll and end up adjusted to one side. I found my 2 outside strings to be adjusted too far outside and not quite over the pole pieces. An easy and quick fix to simply loosen the string and roll the saddle roller more toward the center.</p>



<p>My one tiny complaint is the built in mute, a signature of Ric basses. Firstly I find it pretty useless in a live situation as it is far too cumbersome to raise and lower with the thumbscrews to be able to use it live unless you just want to leave it on. The bigger problem for me is that even when mine is fully raised, it does not mute the low E at all and barely mutes the G, while REALLY muting the A and D. I&#8217;ve read ways to try and fix this but since I don&#8217;t see myself ever using it, I doubt I&#8217;ll bother. It&#8217;s just a little disappointing on a $2000+ bass. Beware also that the design of the bridge pretty much prevents palm muting and when I&#8217;ve tried to use other mutes like a piece of foam, since they have to be placed so far forward in front off the built in mute, they often end up making unpleasant pinging harmonics. I don&#8217;t do a lot of muting like that so I don&#8217;t see it being much of an issue for me personally.</p>



<p>HOWEVER, I do still think this bass is worth the price for it&#8217;s iconic sound, great quality, versatility, and feel. I watched a whole video on how they are made and it really gave me an appreciation for how every worker at every step is just a true artist with microscopic attention to detail.</p>



<p>Another thing that I didn&#8217;t see mentioned ANYWHERE is that the strap buttons on Rics are Schaller straplock buttons! That&#8217;s why they are so small and kind of non-standard. So they won&#8217;t hold a standard strap very well, but if you put some Schaller straplocks on your strap, you&#8217;re already set on the bass! I&#8217;ve always used the Dunlop Straploks (which are smaller than these Schallers so you would have to re-fill and re-drill the hole if you wanted to use those) but since these were already on the bass I bought some Schallers, threw them on a strap and now I&#8217;m set.</p>



<p>Also be aware that if you like Hipshot Xtenders to easily go to Drop D and back, they don&#8217;t have a direct replacement that works on Rics. They DO have one that WILL work but it requires drilling some new holes and two of your old holes will be showing as it is a completely different form factor than the default tuners. </p>



<p>I can totally understand how this bass wouldn&#8217;t be for everyone, but it has definitely become my personal #1 bass of choice now. I just find a certain effortlessness in playing it. I find I can play lighter but still get the sound I like to get, and then I can always dig in as well for some real growl. I can use a much easier right hand on this bass than I usually do on other basses. I also like that the tone controls go further than I would ever want. I can&#8217;t imagine ever turning the tone all the way down, but I&#8217;d always rather have it go too far than not far enough. I don&#8217;t imagine I&#8217;d ever go much below about 50% on the tone controls. I&#8217;ve also found myself just really digging the Fireglo and the overall look of the bass. None of the available colors are anything I would have normally chosen, but I liked the Fireglo best and also as a nod to McCartney. But every time I glance over at it on the rack I find myself thinking &#8220;That is a GOOD-looking bass!&#8221; </p>



<p>So I personally am 95% happy, and the 5% I find a little lacking luckily doesn&#8217;t really come into play for me much, if at all. I also was lucky enough to snag an &#8220;open box&#8221; model that had a &#8220;small discoloration&#8221; for $200 off. The tiny spot is barely perceptible if I&#8217;m looking for it from inches away. Any further and you can&#8217;t tell at all (picture included with a sticker pointing to the &#8220;defect&#8221;). So my long forming suspicions were right. It is indeed the bass for me. </p>



<figure class="wp-block-image size-large"><img data-recalc-dims="1" decoding="async" width="400" height="600" data-attachment-id="6562" data-permalink="https://heathallyn.com/2025-rickenbacker-4003s-review/ric/" data-orig-file="https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric.jpg?fit=875%2C1313&amp;ssl=1" data-orig-size="875,1313" data-comments-opened="1" data-image-meta="{&quot;aperture&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;credit&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;camera&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;created_timestamp&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;copyright&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;focal_length&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;iso&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;shutter_speed&quot;:&quot;0&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;orientation&quot;:&quot;0&quot;}" data-image-title="Ric" data-image-description="" data-image-caption="" data-large-file="https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric.jpg?fit=400%2C600&amp;ssl=1" src="https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric.jpg?resize=400%2C600&#038;ssl=1" alt="" class="wp-image-6562" srcset="https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric.jpg?resize=400%2C600&amp;ssl=1 400w, https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric.jpg?resize=200%2C300&amp;ssl=1 200w, https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric.jpg?resize=100%2C150&amp;ssl=1 100w, https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric.jpg?resize=768%2C1152&amp;ssl=1 768w, https://i0.wp.com/heathallyn.com/wp-content/uploads/Ric.jpg?w=875&amp;ssl=1 875w" sizes="(max-width: 400px) 100vw, 400px" /><figcaption class="wp-element-caption">A sticker points to the &#8220;discoloration&#8221; that got me $200 off.</figcaption></figure>
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<article id="post-6556" class="group post-standard post-6556 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-dream-theater">	
	
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				<div class="post-details-day">08</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">Jan</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2026</div>
		<div class="post-details-time">15:31</div>
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			<a href="https://heathallyn.com/dream-theatre-92/" rel="bookmark">Dream Theatre 92</a>
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<p>I had a dream last night that I was part of a group of musician friends who had signed on for a short run of shows on a cruise ship. Once we were on the ship and out on the ocean, I realized I had left all my gear in my car back on land. I was trying to figure out how I could maybe get by using somebody else’s gear on the ship. Extra weirdly, my cabin mate was Jake Connelly, the actor who played “Dipshit Derek“ on Stranger Things and he was being a total jerk to me about it all so we had an argument and went our separate ways while I looked for the office where I was supposed to get my ID/Swipe card as it was hard to go anywhere or open any doors without it.</p>
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<article id="post-6543" class="group post-standard post-6543 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-flotsam-and-jetsam">	
	
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				<div class="post-details-day">30</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">Dec</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2025</div>
		<div class="post-details-time">1:12</div>
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<p>My birthday was on Sunday. Back in high school one of my best friends had a birthday the day after mine. We shall call him M. I still think of him often. When he went away to college we mostly lost touch, predominantly because I sucked at staying in touch for some reason. Over the years we reconnected a few times, but my memory is that he always thought I was reaching out with some ulterior motive, though I had none other than to reconnect with someone who was very important in my life, despite how it may have seemed from my actions. I have many formative memories with him, but tonight as his birthday drew to a close, this is the one that stood out.</p>



<p>I had a crush on a girl. I had this fear that she was going to start dating a mutual friend though I can&#8217;t remember exactly why. I seem to remember feeling like he ended up with anyone I developed feelings for but I can only recall that happening one other time than the one I&#8217;m about to recount, and I can&#8217;t remember if the other time happened before or after this one. Regardless, I had this fear. The object of my affections and the subject of my fear were among a group who went on a ski trip. After the group returned, I felt like my friends were acting weird any time I brought her up.</p>



<p>So finally one night I was on the phone with M and was telling him about this weirdness and he paused and said &#8220;Sit down.&#8221; He revealed to me that the other two had indeed got together on the ski trip and no one wanted to tell me because they knew I&#8217;d be hurt. He then came over and took me to a video game arcade in Culpepper Plaza near my house. We played video games and talked, and then he dropped me back at home, asking if I was going to be okay. I said, yeah I&#8217;d be fine and thanked him.</p>



<p>Then after he had left, I took my candy apple red Fender Stratocaster out in front of my house and smashed it into as many pieces as I could. I then collected them all and put them back in the guitar case, approximately where they would have gone when they were whole.</p>



<p>The next day I carried that case and walked the mile or so to the house of two of my other best friends, Dwight and Jay Barry. Their house was a gathering place where we would all often hang out all day and night. I walked into Dwight&#8217;s room, put the guitar case on his bed and opened it. I can still remember the utter shock on his face as he asked &#8220;What happened?&#8221; &#8220;I found out about (the girl),&#8221; I told him. </p>



<p>I would never repeat that incident, thankfully, but I think it might have been worth it just for the story and this whole memory. Happy birthday, M. I hope you are ridiculously happy in your life, as it seems pretty great from here and you deserve it. Sorry I wasn&#8217;t a better friend.</p>
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<article id="post-6521" class="group post-standard post-6521 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-dream-theater">	
	
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				<div class="post-details-day">28</div>
		<div class="post-details-month">Oct</div>
		<div class="post-details-year">2025</div>
		<div class="post-details-time">16:32</div>
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			<a href="https://heathallyn.com/dream-theatre-90-and-91/" rel="bookmark">Dream Theatre 90 and 91</a>
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<p>I dreamed last night that my friend and bandmate Chris Nine and I had been playing some shows with Sheryl Crow and on the last day, we played an earlier show and then several other bands played after us and Sheryl sat in with them too. We had stuck around because we thought there might be one big band bow at the end (and also because WHY WOULDN&#8217;T WE?) Then when Sheryl saw us after she said &#8220;Oh hey what are y&#8217;all still doing here?&#8221; I remember not wanting it to seem like we were just hanging around hoping to get called back on stage for a final bow and I said &#8220;Well we thought it was important to all celebrate together the great work we did&#8221; which was true and sincere, but also a bit of a cover. Chris actually took that sentiment to heart and cried a little.<br /></p>



<p>In my second dream I was playing a gig with Skyrocket (who I sometime sub in with) and I had brought my Line 6 Catalyst combo amp. We had started playing and my sound just wasn&#8217;t quite right so I went to adjust some knobs. Then I realized that I was actually reaching in the back of the amp and adjusting a knob that on the inside of the front control panel that was facing the wall. Even stranger though was that the venue had a mic on the back of the amp and not the front that was facing the back wall. It was then that I realized this wasn&#8217;t my amp. I took a look and it a really small German amp called a &#8220;Hauber Gaus&#8221; or something like that. I could actually clearly read it, which I remembered when I woke up since I&#8217;d heard some people say you can&#8217;t read in dreams. Also I&#8217;m not sure if that was the actual name as it has faded since I woke up, but I definitely remembered it when I woke up. I also remember wondering where my amp was and hoping it was somewhere safe and not lost.<br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /></p>
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