Certain Realizations:

The Food's Here...!

2014-08-29T02:01:00.000-07:00

Okay so, FINALLY, I was able to use the voucher(that Food Panda generously rewarded me with for writing a review for them) and order some free food for myself. I wanted to order something different(but with cheese, of course), and spent at least an hour fishing through menus of around 20 different restaurants for the right kind of food. I ended up ordering two items: One Lasagna Al Forno and one Savoury Spinach and Cheese Comfort Quiche from LALS.

The food took quite some time to reach me, and as I waited for it, anticipating the (hopefully) delicious food, I turned into an "angry" customer from a "hungry" one. (My logic: A hungry customer = an angry customer) Anyway, all my anger (naturally)evaporated upon seeing the food.

I dug into the lasagna first, and after gobbling a few bites down, I realized that the underneath the top chewy layer of mozzarella cheese and minced meat sauce, there was a light layer of creamy sliced cheese, making it all the more delicious. The lasagna was moist(as it is supposed to be) but a little too heavy for my liking; so much so that only after having half of it, I was stuffed to my throat. Also, as you can see, it came with 2 pieces of garlic bread which, to be honest, was not the best garlic read I've ever had. Not moist enough, not garlic-y enough, you get the point.

However, despite being full to the brim, I moved on to the quiche. Now quiches are quite a rare item here. The first time I had one was at Hobnob(the one at zamzama, if I remember correctly), and what a pity it was when I found out that it wasn't available at any other branches of Hobnob! Anyway, so I was very excited about eating my spinach and cheese quiche. It was soft, moist and creamy, and literally melted in my mouth. It had just the right amount of salt, and the spinach and cheese combination made it heavenly. Also, the quiche, too, was pretty heavy, and I could not eat more than half of it.

Please note that it would not be wrong to say that I have the appetite of a birdie, so it these items may not seem as filling or heavy as they did to me. Anyway, who minds free food! You know, hafta jaaye, mufta na jaaye... So thank you once again, Food Panda, for "the best rewards are the ones we don't anticipate." Until next time!

Clickdonate: A chance for us to be the change we wish to see in the world

2014-07-24T02:37:00.000-07:00

Hi, everybody. Rozay kaise jaa rahe hain?
Okay so, I'm not going to start with any formal introductions here, or beat about the bush before getting to my point. It's the aakhri ashrah of this holy month of Ramzan(please don't start debating over whether it's Ramzan or Ramadhan now, iss ka aapko koi sawaab nahi milega). It's a special month that really compels us to do as much as possible for the ones less fortunate than us, no matter how big or little our contribution maybe, since our intention is what counts. Now I'm sure all of you are kind enough to want to help the poor(who comprise, needless to say, more than 50% of our population); but the thought of having to go through the trouble of looking for the deserving person/people discourages us, because we all know how difficult it is to find somebody who is actually needy and not pretending to be so.
What if I tell you that I've discovered a way to help us all donate the right resources, through the right channel, to the right people? Don't believe me? Click here to have a look at this video:

It's a simple video, with a friendly background voice explaining how you can help a poor family without even having to leave the comfort of your own home. Food Panda, in association with Orange Tree and TCS Connect, has taken this commendable initiative to help you play your part in bringing a much-needed change in this country. Simply log on to FoodPanda.pk and choose ClickDonate from the menu, or use the FoodPanda app in your smartphone, choose (one of the three) ration bags you want, and soon the TCS guy will come to your doorstep and collect the cash along with handing over a donation certificate to you. Nice and easy, isn't it?

Let me also tell you that the most donations received are from Karachi, Lahore and Islamabad.

So, go ahead, and help FoodPanda supply some food to those preparing to sleep with an empty, hungry stomach yet again, while you try to decide which of the scrumptious items you're going to have for tonight's iftaari. Good luck turning your good intentions into solid actions. May all of us with kind hearts be blessed during this holy month and beyond.

Beauty Is A State Of Mind.

2014-04-11T11:34:00.001-07:00

How often have you looked in the mirror and wondered why you have a big nose, or small eyes, or thin lips, or hair that should've been straight rather than curly?
A research shows that only 4% women are actually satisfied with the way they look. Can you imagine? It means most women are unhappy with their appearances, and think that they're not good enough. Its a sad fact. But you know what? On the 9th of April, 2014, I was introduced to a happy fact.

On April 9th, Dove launched its BeautyIs campaign, and I was one of the few privileged social media enthusiasts who got the chance to be a part of it. I was obviously very psyched when I got the invitation, and went there bursting with excitement and expectations.
Just in case you're wondering, this is how I looked :

A beautiful friend, Sara Muzammil was hosting the event. It began with Sara filling us in on Dove and its decades old journey of making people realize how beautiful they are. After that, an experiment was conducted to show how Dove acts as a gentle moisturizing cleanser and unlike regular soaps, it prevents any harm by perfectly balancing the ph of our skin.

The experiment was followed by some very interactive and entertaining sessions: An approximately 4 minute video was shown to us, which illustrated that the biggest beauty pressure women have is the one that they put on themselves, and proved how beauty is nothing but "a state of mind." Everyone in the room was touched, and I came upon yet another Certain Realization: Beauty is inside out. If you think you're beautiful, you will feel that you are beautiful. And that will only happen when you stop underestimating yourself and believe in who you are; you have Dove to help you along the way, of course, so it isn't as hard as it seems.
Later, a quiz was held where questions regarding the video were asked and the ones who got the answers right and in time won themselves prizes.
Here's the intensely inspiring and enlightening video that I suggest all of you to watch. And incase you have issues opening it with YouTube, Click here to watch it:
Here's the

After that, a very interesting competition was held, where we were asked to take as many selfies as we could and post them on Twitter with the hashtag #BeautyIs and an interesting caption. I'm posting some of those selfies below for you:

After all the fun sessions ended, we were asked to get seated for dinner and enjoy the scrumptious food. I'm posting a picture of the strawberry Cheese Cake since this is what i liked best. In fact, I think it wouldn't be wrong to say it was probably the best cheese cake I've ever had. Soft, creamy, with just the right amount of sweetness... Anyway, moving on to the actual subject(since this isn't a food blog), the event was undoubtedly a huge success and I feel quite proud to have been included in it.

So, finally, it was time to leave. And guess what? Dove had arranged a basket full of its products, some delicious chocolate by Lal's, and a voucher for Debenhams for everyone of us, making sure we all left with a huge grin on our faces, which left me thinking how I didn't regret one moment of it. Let me post a picture of the present for you guys.

I've covered all the highlights of the event for you all, I believe. Not only did I discover the true meaning of beauty by attending it, but I also made some great new and of course, beautiful friends there who I plan to stay in touch with on Twitter and otherwise. And I'm pretty sure that the video will change your idea of what beauty is and the way you see yourself for good. #BeautyIs being confident in your own skin and for who you are, so realize that, be beautiful, and love Dove!

Are you Secretly Me?

2014-02-13T04:07:00.000-08:00

He asks, "Are you secretly me?"
As they wander aimlessly,
She says, "I'm a piece of you",
He says, "you're a piece of me."

He says, "You've the softest hands,"
"The kind I'd want under my head
As I fall asleep carelessly."

She says "You've the warmest hands,"
"The kind I'd want by my cheek
As we sit by the raging sea."

Listening to her racing heart
He gently sweeps away
The floor beneath her feet.

A moment so surreal,
A feeling so complete,
It could be just a dream.

Oblivious to the world,
Invading each other's dreams
She's all that he requires
He's all she'll ever need.

Trapped in him, she sees
The freedom that she seeks
Take her hand,
Lock her in,
Set her free.

Just Another Realization

2013-10-21T11:18:00.001-07:00

Here's another Certain Realization that struck me last night while I stayed up staring at the ceiling and occasionally, at my phone's screen:

At times, you have to give them unasked for explanations, in order to make sure they haven't misunderstood you. It can be a matter of merely one mistaken word or phrase that can turn their hearts against you for life. And if you love and value them enough not to lose them so easily, then you must put your ego aside, spare a few minutes, stay calm and make sure that they get the message that you had in mind to convey to them. For at times, we only realize their value when they're gone, and till then, its too late to get them back. Never leave them pondering over what you might have meant and make sure they know you love them; that's the most important thing ever.

Nobody Knows

2013-10-15T09:43:00.000-07:00

She broke his heart,

and she can't get over it.

Will he fall again,

like he did last time?

Is it worth the pain?

Nobody knows.

Should he give it a try?

Put his heart on stake?

The question grows.

He's been there once,

got him nothing but tears.

Now in his heart,

he carries all these fears.

But strange, yet sweet,

He never shows:

His scars, his wounds,

her broken vows;

He treats her like an angel still,

But she does not deserve his love.

Thus, forgive herself,

she never will.

I Am The Change

2013-10-11T01:44:00.000-07:00

There's a first time for everything, they say. And that first time might make or break your impression about a thing forever. A few days back, I received a friend's text, saying, "Kal T2F mai Engro ka event hai, Bloggers or Twitteratis invited hain, aajao plis?" Now I blog and I tweet, and I'd never been to either The Second Floor or a Bloggers' event before. What better chance than this could I have to gain 2 new experiences?, I thought to myself; all excited and hyped, I threw a notebook and pen in my bag and decided to go. (Keep in mind that I still had no idea what the event was about or what we'd have to do there). All I could associate in my head with Engro was fertilizers. Laugh all you like, people. the truth is not always bitter; sometimes, its funny too. In my case, it is mostly funny. Anway.

So the next day, i.e 5th October, I stepped inside T2F with 2 friends and a stomach filled with fluttering butterflies. We were greeted politely and warmly welcomed to have a seat by Shamikh. Shortly after settling down, each of us were given a bag(which, after a couple of hours we found out was filled with some very useful and handy presents from Engro).

In a couple of minutes, Naila Kassim, the HR at Engro took the floor and gave us a brief introduction about Engro and the campaign that was being launched i.e I am The Change. After her, Sarfaraz A. Rehman elaborated a little on how Engro has been supporting poor, underprivileged people through various projects such as PWA(Patients Welfare Association) and the Garage School. We were shown multimedia presentations on these projects and also, the people running them spoke to us a little, sharing their wonderful experiences of working with sick/poor/mentally retarded people in the realms of health, education and livelihood and making them independent and happy. I couldn't believe I was actually listening to everything that was being said with quite some concentration. I was so rapt by it all, by the idea of people being selfless in their quest to change other people's lives for the better. I was extremely glad, not (just)for the free food(which by the way, was delicious!) and presents I received, but to have attended a great event that left me inspired. I must say, this has to be one of the best first experiences I've ever had.

If you, too, know any such unsung heroes who deserve to be appreciated for their kind, honorable services, submit their story to www.iamthechange.com.pk by the end of this year so they can be celebrated, valued and most importantly, supported for the change that they are bringing by being the change. You will find the rest of the details on the website.

I'll Move On

2013-08-22T04:06:00.002-07:00

I have played my part,
I'll move on.
With a heavy heart,
I'll move on.


*Photo Credits: Noreen Ali*

I'll gaze at the stars late at night,
And realize, I
Cannot reach them,
Since they're miles apart,
I'll move on.

I will dream about a heaven,
With the Unicorns and fairies,
Then suddenly,
I will wake up,
All the jokes apart,
I'll move on.

MONSTERS

2013-05-20T11:26:00.001-07:00

Monsters under the bed

Or monsters inside our head?

Nowhere to be seen, but

Somewhere they are fed

Take a look inside, and

Everywhere you'll see:

Roaming around, for now you have

Set the monster free.

Photo Courtesy: Noreen Ali

Because, "We stop looking for monsters under the bed when we realize they are inside of us."

I Envy Him

2013-01-17T09:34:00.002-08:00

So there I was, once again, stepping off the bus and walking towards the bus stand with my bag slung over my shoulders and, in spite of the sunglasses I had on, my hand shading my eyes from the scorching sun. There was too much traffic on the road today, so I decided to use the pedestrian to cross the road. Just as I was making this another "major" decision of my life, I spotted a rickshaw parked before the bus stand. Rickshaws are one of the most common means of public transport here in Karachi, what was so unusual about this particular rickshaw that made me stop by it?

A man. There was a man sleeping on the passenger seat. The driver, laid on the backseat of his rickshaw, his arm loosely hanging from outside it; indulged in deep, sweet slumber, oblivious to the clamorous world that surrounded him. Noises of horns beeping, school buses hastening, cars pulling over, women negotiating with store keepers, men doing their small talk, random people chatting on their phones, children screaming as they chased after one another, motor bikes racing: nothing seemed to affect him. It might be a very negligible thing for most people, but for me, it was significant-- it provoked me to think and I stood there and wondered...

One of the innumerable nights when I'm laying in my bed, warm and comfortable with my blanket and pillow, all ready to sleep. I close my eyes, start relaxing my so-called exhausted muscles, prepared to drift away to Dreamland and I wait. Tick, tick, tick. I hear the clock tick by in the pin drop silence of my room. Thud, thud, thud. I hear my seemingly heavy heartbeat against my ribs as I make a futile effort to breathe in sync with it. Suddenly, all my physical senses seem to be working much more efficiently than ever, and I notice myself paying close attention to the most mundane things, as if either they hadn't existed or I hadn't experienced them before. But the question is, why am I not sleeping? Because, I just can't fall asleep. Sleep probably doesn't want me falling into it. I twist and turn in bed, trying out all my sleeping positions. I turn on the radio in my phone, hoping that the midnight melodies might rock me to sleep, but in vain. So what exactly is keeping me up when I have all the comforts one needs to fall into a good, sound sleep? To find the answer, I try to read my own mind, and fail terribly.

Funny, I can't seem to read my own mind. I can't seem to tell what's bothering me, keeping me up. I lay still, staring up at the ceiling, watching the fan, with a blank mind that refuses to close down for the night. It also refuses to open up to me. Strange. It is like one of those exasperating dreams of mine, where I'm struggling to run forward, vigorously moving my legs, but an invisible force has pinned me to itself. The harder I resist, the stronger gets its hold. There is no escape; neither in the dream, nor in reality. There is restlessness, consciousness, awareness. All that I want to run away from. But there is no refuge for me.

...But look at this poor man: He has no sunglasses, no hat, no sunscreen; but rough skin and a weather-beaten face. The sky is his shade and the ground, his floor. He works hard to earn his bread and butter for the day, eats, thanks God for it, and sleeps. When was the last time I thanked God for all He has blessed me with? This man has nothing to lose, thus nothing to worry about. No complications. He needs no cosy bed, no warm blanket, and no soft pillows. He can fall asleep in his rickshaw, where people like us can't even sit comfortably enough. But he isn’t used to comfort. And he couldn't care less about what the world thinks of him. I am amazed by the serenity on his face, which clearly signifies he is at peace.
I envy him.

Maine Bhaagna Shuru Ker Dia

2012-12-25T13:35:00.002-08:00

Mainay bhaagna shuru ker dia,
Sachaayi se, Rusvaayi se,
Apni hi parchaayi se,
Maine bhaagna shuru ker dia.

Aasmaano ki oonchaayi se,
Daryaaon ki gehraayi mai,
Kabhi doob ker, kabhi tair ker,
Maine bhaagna shuru ker dia.

Subha ke ujaalon se,
Raat ke andheron mai,
Khaamosh siskiyaan orrh ker,
Maine bhaagna shuru ker dia.

Guzray huay saalon se,
Aatay huay lamhon ko,
Zara rok ke, zara thaam ker,
Maine bhaagna shuru ker dia.

Khwahishon ke bojh se,
Dil mai bastay rog se,
Girtay huay, uthtay huay,
Maine bhaagna shuru ker dia.

Waqt ki aazmaaish se,
Her ek uss farmaaish se,
Faryaadon ka dil tor ker,
Maine bhaagna shuru ker dia.

Kuch bheer se, kuch logon se,
Kuch mehfilon, kuch shor se,
Khamoshi ki aaghosh mai,
Maine bhaagna shuru ker dia.

Apni hi awaaz se,
An kahay ek raaz se,
Ek naye andaaz se,
Maine bhaagna shuru ker dia.

Sachaayi se, Rusvaayi se,
Iss dil ki bewafayi se,
Maine bhaagna shuru ker dia.

Its All The Same

2012-10-01T12:16:00.002-07:00

You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness.
You can get addicted to a certain kind of madness.
There are words unspoken and words unheard.
Tales we have been told of and tales untold.
Things we say and things we mean.
The many masks behind the faces we've seen.
There are smiles we see and tears we don't.
Chances we will take and chances we won't.
There are a million deaths we die
And a million rebirths we are granted
All in one lifetime;
And after the ultimate death,
We are risen again.
That is death after life and life after death.
But at the end of the day, its all the same.

Things that we fear and things that we are bold to.
There are things we are touched by and things we turn cold to
.Things we notice and things we bury in cages of oblivion
People are killed and people born.
Things that we care about and things that matter no more.
Things that make us happy and things that make us sad.
Things we want to get rid of and things we wish we had.
There are places we've been to and places we'd like to see.
The kind of people we're like and people we'd like to be.
At times we're crazy, at times we're sane,
But at the end of the day, its all the same.

There are things we remember and things we forget,
Times when we are furious, outbursts we regret,
And a voice that screams inside our head,
But we keep quiet, as though we're dead.
Times when we're shining like the sun,
While on the inside, we're drowned in dismay.
Times when we are as still as deceased.
While on the inside, all we want to do is run.
Truths we hide and lies we tell,
A stranger's story that somehow rings a bell.
We find ourselves lost in this worldly mundane.
But at the end of the day, its all the same.

There are feelings we abandon and decisions we make,
Our one and only heart at stake.
Hearts we win and hearts we break.
Regrets we know we'll live with for good,
For not doing what we know we should.
At the end of the day, its all the same.
We can never quite decide, who we should blame.
Things we have lost and things we have won,
But time never stops and life goes on.
As they say, The Show Must go On.
Needles pricking our skin, daggers stabbing our hearts,
And with time, we learn to live with the pain.
But at the end of the day, its all the same.

There are all these things, and countless more,
These are all different things, you'll say.
But take another look, and you will find,
That its all the same, at the end of the day, .
Together they pull us towards the floor.
Since under it is where we will finally go,
And still we keep looking for a key to the door?

Aasmaan Waala: The Lord of The Skies

2012-09-03T12:46:00.002-07:00

I got off the bus and, with my hand shading my eyes from the scorching sun, and my bag filled with books hanging on my already slumped shoulder as usual, started trudging towards the bus stand where I usually wait for the right moment to cross the road. I mostly don't prefer using the pedestrian, since all the climbing after a tiring day at university and the long bus ride wears me out even more. As I stood there waiting, across the road I spotted a young Pathan boy of around 11 years of age, sitting on the footpath. I didn't pay much attention to him though and crossed the road.

Now, I was standing just before him, and could see that he was barefoot. Pathans are considered beautiful people here in Pakistan: Fair skin, dark hair(mostly, not always), the way their eyes are reduced to chinks when they smile or even grimace... And I am especially inclined towards them, since I have been told by my father that we have descended from the Pathans of Afghanistan; so my attraction to them is but natural. I am brown though and look nothing like a Pathan and neither can I speak Pashto or Persian, unfortunately.

Anyway, since I was in a bit of a hurry, I decided not to pay heed to him and walked past by him. I had only taken a couple of steps when I stopped, as if some invisible magnet had grabbed me by the neck and was pulling me back towards him. I found myself turning around and, before I knew it, I was once again standing before him; and this time, studying him closely.

There he sat, with his legs a little apart, holding his head in his hands. From a sort of a bird's eye view, I could see thick, dark eyelashes hovering over his narrow, downcast eyes. The inevitable effect of Ultra Violet rays prominent on his skin. He was wearing a not-so-tidy shalwar kamiz, the national dress of Pakistan, that is. The fact that he didn't seem to notice me surprised me greatly. Another thing, besides him being a Pathan, that attracted me towards him was that he wasn't begging for food or money. In Pakistan, it is a pretty common thing for children of his age(or more or less) to roam about in worn and torn clothes, with their arms extended in a gesture of begging for money. But this young boy just sat there, all by himself; oblivious to his surroundings.

I finally asked him, "Why are you sitting here?"

He looked up at me, for the very first time. His beautiful eyes squinting because of the sun, he uttered something indecipherable.

So I asked him another question: "Where have you come from?"

"Pata nahi" He grimaced. "I don't know."

How could he possibly not know why he was sitting here? There must be something wrong, I wondered, getting concerned .

"Stand up," I ordered, hoping to be able to understand what he was saying, since the distance between him and my ears would decrease. He did as told.

I repeated both my questions, and he only answered the latter: "From home."

...Okay, so he had come from home.

"Why are you here alone?", I inquired further.

"My father beat me."

And just when I was thinking of all the harmful things that could possibly happen to this little child, I learned he had been beaten by his very own father. I was compelled to ask why.

"Because I'd gone to the ground to play cricket."

I see. So what else had his father expected a boy of this age to do? I thought. But this was not the time to ponder upon this.

"Come with me." I ordered once again.

What was I doing? I found myself in such a peril. What was I going to do with a child who had run away from home because of his father's torture? I contemplated him being kidnapped, sexually abused, taken by beggars or eventually begging for food, dying of hunger, becoming a victim of a bullet intended for somebody else, being hit by a vehicle while crossing the road... There were so many possibilities. My mind began ransacking itself for a plausible idea. I even considered taking him home with me. But how would I take care of him when I'm not even able to take proper care of myself? So, No to that idea. Home-- I must send him back home, but I must first ask him where he had set off from home for, I thought. He must have had some place in mind- or may be not.

"Tumhein jaana kahan hai?" Where is it that you want to go? I asked him.

"Patel Para".
He spoke so low that I had to make him repeat that twice before I was sure I had heard the right thing. I knew the place that he mentioned. I asked him to come with me, still somewhat uncertain of what I was doing.

He started walking with me, looking like a lost puppy.

"Tumhara naam kya hai?" What is your name?

"Abid".

We crossed another road and my eyes instantly started searching for a Pathan cabby. I was confident that Abid would open up to a person of his own origin much easily than he did to me or any other stranger. He would know his language and feel comfortable with him.
My heart ached each time his little bare feet touched the road, at times stepping on the stones, plastic, rubber, or the dust and all sorts of garbage one can find on a dirty road. And every now and then I'd tell him, "Sambhal ker chalo", Walk carefully.
I wanted my search to end as soon as possible, so his feet would finally get some rest.

The first two Rickshaws that we came across were already waiting for their passenger, and I had really started to lose hope when, to my delight, I saw this cabby who looked like a Pathan to me: Fair, with neatly combed dark hair and a thin, trimmed mustache. He looked like a decent man. We went up to him and I told him what little information Abid had(thankfully) disclosed to me. The cabby nodded and asked Abid something in Pashto, which I could obviously not understand. Abid replied, wincing. I requested him to ask Abid what exactly the trouble was and take him home safely. For some reason, I put my trust in the cabby, perhaps because I had no other choice. He even refused to get paid for the ride, but I insisted he take some cash and handed him 50 bucks.

There are those times when you just see people and you know they're a good person- probably because they have been chosen to help you by God- and that clears all doubts you might be bearing in your head. Little Abid sat in the vehicle. There were no signs of happiness on his youthful yet rueful face-- his eyes still lowered.

Off went little Abid, and off went I; lost in thought.

I have always been taught by my father,
"Tum zameen waalon per reham kero, aasmaan waala tum per reham karay gaa." Treat your fellow men with kindness, and God will treat you kindly.

And in these almost 19 years of my life, it has been proved to me time and time again. We are provided with opportunities to do good deeds all the time, it is up to us to look around and avail them; and our search must never stop.

Little Abid had been unaware of the repercussions of his impulsive action, and God had sent me to save him. I was happy thinking that God had used me as a rescuer for Abid. I was, and I am grateful. But along with that, I have been literally imploring God to grant me another such opportunity, so I can make even better use of it next time.

The vivid image of his beautifully somber face still dwells before my eyes like a fresh memory. Perhaps I failed to make him happy, but at least he had trusted me enough to let me send him back home. That must have made God happy? Since God knew I meant good. Like my father always says, Her amal ka daaromadaar niyat per hai. "Every action depends on the intention behind it." And that was enough for me. At least for then, it was.

...And my quest to discover and understand the wonderfully strange ways of The Lord of The Skies continues.

Hoping Against Hope

2012-08-31T10:14:00.000-07:00

...Because they say in Urdu, "Umeed pe duniya qayam hai". Meaning: "The world survives on hope."

He looks in the mirror every morning everyday,

Tries to look in those eyes and find a way.

Through those eyes to his heart,

Through his eyes to his soul.

Trying to play his part

While the years turn old.

But he never really finds

What he looks for much

Only hoping that someday,

He just might complete his search.

Promises And Pie Crusts

2012-08-26T16:01:00.000-07:00

As she sat in the wooden chair,

With her fingers burried in her hair

Prepared, her heart'd bleed

As she started to read

From the page to her eyes

From her eyes to her heart

Piercing words, struck her like a dart

The feelings expressed on that little page

Made her eyes well up with tears of rage.

For all that he had written down,

Seemed quite like emotions of her own:

Emotions, she had had for him,

Long before, when he was her's

But the difference was,

That his' were untrue.

Seemed meaningless,

His "I Love You".

While choosing the right person for yourself, instead of picking the one who promises to keep you happy always, be with the one who knows how to keep you happy. Because promises and pie crusts are made to be broken.

A Lullaby

2012-08-20T17:34:00.000-07:00

Sleep, baby mine,

Now close your eyes,

And don't be up,

Until sunrise.

We'll talk and sing and everything

Of things you like so much,

I'll hold you close and tender while,

My ever so slight touch

Will take you to the softest cloud,

Right beneath the moon;

Where you can watch the twinkling stars

And drift to Dream Land soon.

Sleep, baby mine,

Now close your eyes,

And don't be up,

Until sunrise.

While You Were Out

2012-07-28T09:23:00.003-07:00

I wrote this on March 19th, 2011. Yesterday, I talked to a person; our conversation reminded me of it and so I thought I should share it with you all too.

Okay, so two days back I was sitting before this computer screen just like I am now when my 13 yr old neighbour(who happens to live upstairs) came up to me and handed me a book and said she liked it so much that she wanted me to read it, too. I didn't pay much heed to it then, though I promised to read it.

Later when I got off of the PC, and I had nothing to do(but study, which I wouldn't unless I had an exam the next day); I decided to read the book. The cover said three things: 'While You Were Out'(The title), 'How to start fifth grade without your best friend?'(I don't know what thats called, so we'll just call it a question) and 'J. Irvin Kuns'(the name of the author). Also, the cover had a nice picture on it, and like little children, I was attracted to it. One of the best things was that the book contained about 130 pages-which makes it easier for me to read-not in one go, of course, but in a couple of days.

The book is about an 11-12 year old girl, Penelope, whose best friend-for-keeps(as she likes to call him), Tim dies out of cancer; leaving her all desolated and extremely perturbed. Summer vacations are over and school is about to start. She can't even think of starting fifth grade without Tim. But she has to. Thats life. Also, her annoying neighbor(who is in the same school) thinks she can replace Tim. And to add to her anxiety, her dad has joined the school as the new janitor-and having him around doesn't ease the pain of losing Tim. Nothing does. On the contrary, her dad is so friendly and jovial he almost acts like the children. His behavior drives her even more crazy. There's only one person to whom she can turn, so she begins secretly writing notes to him on her pink While You Were Out notepad.

To make her feel better, her anonymous friend once writes a poem in the note:

love is more thicker than forget

more thinner than recall

more seldom than a wave is wet

more frequent than to fail

it is most mad and moonly

and less it shall unbe

than all the sea which only

is deeper than the sea

love is less than to win

less never than alive

less bigger than the least begin

less littler than forgive

it is most sane and sunly

and more it cannot die

than all the sky which only

is higher than the sky.

I am not ashamed to admit that I didn't understand it the first time I read it, but neither did Penelope. Then as she read it again, it did kinda make sense. So it did to me. And so it will to you all. Love is universal-everybody understands it, regardless of the words or the language used to express or define it. It is something we can all relate to-in some way or the other. A few lines from a song would suit the subject really well:

'Love is why we do it

love is worth the pain,

love is why we fall down,

get up back again.

love is where the heart lies,

love is from above,

love is this, this is love.'

This is what Penelope understood, and this is what this thin book taught me: Nobody is here forever. We all have to return to where we came from some day or the other. But life does not stop-it moves on. And so does time. It does not wait for you to recover. People who we reckon our better halves might be taken away from us, but their memories remain like the fragrance in violets when they die. They might not be before our eyes but they dwell in our hearts. Incidents happen, and we ought to learn from them, rather than whining about how miserable they leave us. There are some people who can never be replaced, but that certainly does not mean there aren't other people worth our trust and friendship. Penelope's dad said to her, "it is better to have loved and left than to never have loved at all."

Love never dies, rots or wears down. It is eternal, infinite. Invincible.

The size or the thickness of your book does not determine the amount of wisdom you'll be getting upon reading it. It is the content that matters-and more importantly-how well you are able to understand and use the knowledge that you derived from it. At times, a few phrases can completely transform us and our thoughts. As it is said, "A man is no greater than the thoughts that dominate his mind".

Serendipity: Major Mehdi

2012-06-22T14:21:00.000-07:00

It is after a considerably long period of time that an incident has provoked me so much to produce a piece of writing. The reason probably being, that it has been long since I befriended a complete stranger-- and even longer since they left such a strong impression on me.

It all happened a couple of days back, on 20^thJune, 2012.Wednesday. I was in the Hockey Stadium, jogging with the other girls who are under the same training as me for Athletics. Coach had asked us to jog for ten minutes. And only after a hundred meters or so, I almost gave up on jogging and started to walk the distance. I and a mate were somewhere between walking and slow running, when the elderly man I’d always seen on the track walked fast by us, shouting out to me, “Oh young girl! You’re doing it eh!”
And I replied with a big grin on my face, “Yes sir!”
The ground on which the girls and I were running was uneven, because of which I was unable to run easily. Plus it increased chances of getting my foot sprained. And most importantly, there was my desire to talk to him.
“You can come this side if you like”, said he.
So I, beaming, went through the little gate to his side of the ground and joined him.

We talked about the importance of stamina, sports that interest him, his daughter (who he said has been a renowned tennis player), his childhood, my passion for Athletics, etc. But most importantly, we talked about perseverance and determination. And since both these things are closely connected with hope, and hope is what I’m holding onto, I took great interest in the conversation. He said that nothing can be achieved unless you have a strong desire for it burning in your heart and equal amount of struggle is put in. That it all comes from within you. If you want to do it, nothing can stop you unless you let it. Nothing can come in the way. He even quoted Nike’s slogan “Just do it” and laughed. I laughed along.

“I once had to give a speech in a very grand event,” he said. “So I prepared a good speech and as I went up on the stage and saw all those people in the audience staring right at me, stage fright took all over me. Guess what I did then?”
“Ran away?!” I jokingly guessed.
“No. I took off my glasses..”
“So you couldn’t see them!” I exclaimed emphatically, glad on having understood the point.
“Yes! Haha! And it was the best speech I ever made.” He clapped his hands, roaring with laughter as I joined in the guffaw.

“You know why it is so important to make running and walking a regular practice?” He asked me gravely. “Umm ‘cuz it prevents you from getting a heart attack..?” I replied; my answer a mixture of knowledge and slight humor.
“No, no. Let me explain it to you.” He went on. “The glands in our body release certain juices (hormones). Two of them being Melatonin and Serotonin. Melatonin’s function is to induce sleep, while the latter calms anxiety and relieves depression; therefore, leaving you happy. When we push ourselves to walk and run and manage to cover a good distance, Serotonin is secreted in the body. So you see, young lady, it keeps you healthy and happy at the same time. And that is why I make sure to come here daily.” That was the secret to his fitness, which he had gladly revealed.

Well this was not the first time that he’d spoken to me. It was the second. The last time was when a couple of days back he had seen me running. He had advised me not to run like an elephant (with my whole foot thumping on the ground with so much force) and to rather run on my toes (it is called Forefoot striking in technical terms) instead of the heel while running (Since it is likely to prevent injuries and inefficiencies and may also help increase speed). That is when he had stopped for hardly a minute to ask me if I were studying in a school or college. And I’d proudly told him that I was a university student, studying English literature. Strange, I had thought: most of the people who see me for the first time ask me if I’m married and have children, since I look a bit older than my age. Mind it, a bit. However, he hadn’t thought me older than my age. There was definitely something about this man. I had been attracted to him ever since I had seen him there: An elderly man of around 60-65 years old, dressed in a white sweat suit and a beige cap on his bald head, fit as a fiddle; happily jogging or walking past by us with a stopwatch in hand, enjoying his daily practice ever so much along with the sight of us training. Never getting tired, never giving up. Cheerfully waving and yelling “Hey!” to whoever he knew passed by him. It was a pleasure to merely watch him go by. How amazing would it be to get to know him in person… I used to wonder, until today, of course.

I came to know of the word “Serendipity” around two years ago, but I never really had the chance to use it—until now. Major Mehdi: Warm, youthful, a genial face wearing a friendly smile, a kind heart and loads of advices, suggestions and lifetime experiences. A man who looked right through me. A man to whom I felt like pouring down my darkest secrets, my biggest weaknesses, my strangest fears. I felt like I bonded with him instantly. What more could I ask for? It is beyond amazing how God always sends the right person at the right time; Exactly when we are in need of sunshine to brighten up our day. It was only because of him that I walked with him around 800 meters or more without stopping and hardly felt any ache in my abdomen or legs.
Major Mehdi shone like a bright light at the end of my tunnel; illuminating my entire little world. Poured down on me like rain in a dessert. Reviving my hope, rejuvenating my heart and making me feel alive again. Not everybody can make you feel like that. He is undoubtedly my first serendipity. A friend I may not always be in touch with, but a friend I will remember forever.

My Bird Lies Wounded Before My Eyes

2012-06-03T15:15:00.000-07:00

My bird lies wounded before my eyes,

And I watch it; helpless

As my heart slowly dies.

No more does it do the Barrel Roll,

No more does it fly in circles.

No more does it sit me on its back,

No more trips to the skies.

No more sleeping in the clouds,

Or kissing eyes when dawn

Would shine on us, to wake us up

As the mighty sun would rise.

Its broken wings are hard to mend,

Harder than a broken heart.

I spend my days, wondering:

What tore it apart?

Now, it only lies on the ground

And with its eyes, beautiful, round;

Looks at me, as if to say:

Can we not turn the clock around?

And I feel so weak, as I strive to explain

That every time I see it in pain

It is worse than daggers in my heart

And my rueful eyes shed tears in vain.

My bird lies wounded before my eyes,

And I watch it; helpless

As my heart slowly dies.

2012-04-15T12:40:00.001-07:00

You Never Know...

Last night, I talked to a friend after a long time. Here's how the conversation goes:

A: I'm just... i dont know, its all good but then I'm not sure.
B: What exactly is wrong?
A: I'm not sure... I think I need a break.
B: A break from what?
A: Everything.
B: That includes him, too?
A: Yes.
B: Like, not talk to him for a while?
A: Not exactly that. Just not HAVE to talk to him for a while.Like that time im SUPPOSED to be here. AND for a certain amount of time.
B: Emmm... why so?
A: I dont knoww... I just don't know!
B: Of course you know. There's a reason for everything. What's your reason?
A: I'm having lotsss of troubles right now.You have NO idea what shit I'm in!
B: Well then, tell me? I'm all ears.
A: No its OK. Just school, career, my part time job, people around me and the running time...These are like the key terms.I dont wanna elaborate. It will ruin my mood.
B: Then don't. You don't have to.
But talking about him, how exacly are things going?
A: They are good, he's all nice and everything.
B: no complaints?
A: Not at all! Its just that...I'm not in a good shape to be social or anything. I dont even talk to my friends. I just like to stay quiet. Its hard to explain... I feel guilty actually cuz I'm not givin him any time.

B: You know what? I can totally understand that. I'm going through a similar phase. I don't like to talk much and my friends think I'm upset about something while I'm actually just trying to keep to myself for a while. But its hard to explain that to them so I don't really try to. Anyway, does he complain about it?
A: He does sometimes... but he doesn't know... like he does know... urgh!The phase, its just not ending. I'm always lost and worried.So i think it bugs him... It probably does.
B: I see... did you ever try explaining? Though I'm sure you don't feel like explaining, but still?
A: Umm kinda... like I told him I have tests coming up... But unfortunately, I failed almost all! And then you know how awful it feels... i just wanted to punch walls and kick stuff around!
B: I totally know how it feels! I've had to face that many a times myself. I recently flunked History.
A: I couldn't talk to him. Like i did but it was very rude... and I guess things between us got cold and distant...
B: I'd suggest you to talk to him about it and explain everything nicely. And considering the enervating time you're going through, its not gonna be a piece of cake, I know; but where there is love, there has to be understanding. It can weaken your relationship otherwise which I'm sure you wouldn't want.
A: I know, I'll try. I don't want to lose him.
B: Well then, be very VERY careful. The kind of guy he is, I'm sure he'll help you recuperate. He wouldn't care about your grades.
A: Well I care! My mum's gonna throw me out. Cuz these tests will make up the marks that i'll have to show to the university peeps and they sure as hell wont let me in with this shitty grade!

B: Nobody's throwing you out of the house. So calm down. You do have a chance of improving your grade by scoring better in the other semester, right?
A: Yeah but I don't have much time to improve. I'll have to work reallly hard!
B: Well then, work hard. There you have your solution!

A: You make it sound too easy...
B: It is easy! You have some problems, and you know how they can be solved. It is way better than having problems and having absolutely no clue how to solve them, trust me!
A: Well, I guess. Thank you... I was really worried. You gave me some hope.

B: You're most welcome! And There's nothing to be worried about. Especially when you know what you want from life and how to get it. And when you don't, it is like being in the middle of nowhere. Hanging onto a string that can break any moment. It is worse than the fear of just falling. It is hoping against hope. You're in a far better state. So be grateful for that and strive for what you want. Good luck for everything!
We see all kinds of people around us everyday. In the bus, on the road, at work, at school, etc. But we can only see the faces that they wear before heading outside each day. We never really know what they sheathe behind their masked faces. For us, our sorrow is the worst of all. But that is only because we're unaware that:

They are beaming, but dying inside
Happy, but ruefully sighing inside.

We also tend to forget that there is only one being who is always there for us. The only one who can fix our mistakes and forgive us. So rather than wasting your energy worrying and complaining, every time you pray and otherwise, ask Him for help and KNOW that help is on its way-- only to reach us when the right time comes. And it only comes to those who seek it and believe in Him.

Beautiful.

2012-03-27T12:40:00.001-07:00

This is a story based on my personal, general observation of Juvenile relationships. Yes, Juvenile- because they are young teenagers, barely able to handle their own emotions, having a hard time dealing with their adolescence, they become friends with the opposite sex and a couple of weeks later they are disillusioned into thinking they are in love. Unmindful of the repercussions their so-called affair is likely--or should I say, bound-- to trigger, they let themselves get involved in each other like there is no tomorrow. And later when they realize how huge a blunder has been committed by them, they can do nothing but regret.

This story will be told in parts.It depicts the problems faced by such juvenile couples and the sad outcome of it. Here is the first part: Beautiful. Keep following for the rest. Happy reading!

There they were: sitting beside each other. And he took her phone from her hand and started typing. She wondered what he was doing and waited and watched. Watching him was a pleasure in itself. He finished typing a message and handed the phone back to her. And when she looked at what he had written, it read: "Love the dress... the hair... you!" Her heart skipped a beat and she laughed.Wasn't he the loveliest guy ever?

It was the day when they had gone out for his birthday. They had gone to McDonald's and sat at the corner table and had their burgers and beverages along with playing and being mischievous as usual. Yes, they were young; childish. And then he had put his head down on the table, taking her hand along and placing it under his head-pretending to sleep. How warm and cosy had her hand felt pressed against his chubby cheek... How beautiful and childlike he had looked with his eyes closed...Not that he looked any less lovely with his eyes open-- He had the most beautiful, warm, mesmerism eyes a guy could have. She could never forget- the sight, and the feeling of him. They were both very happy that day. They were always glad to meet each other. To be together for hours that felt like minutes. They were both very naughty and made each other laugh like crazy. They both loved each others smile. In spite of the age and height difference between them, they were perfect. "As Long As You Love Me" by the Back Street Boys was like their theme song. If you've heard it, you'll know why.
Something or the other that he did or said would always make her exclaim, "Why are you so ADORABLE?!" and he would giggle in response. How she loved hearing him giggle... Had she ever told him that?She would always tell him she loved him more than words could say. She would sit by his side and wrap her arms tightly around his muscular arm and rest her head against his shoulder while he would take her hand and hold it such that his fingers filled the spaces between hers- making it void of the emptiness she felt whenever her hand wasn't in his.

She held him like she'd never let him go... And this is exactly how they'd remain until it was time for either of them to leave. How they both wished for the time to depart to never come. How strongly they both desired to be officially bound together forever. Every time he left and she watched him walk away, she would feel like the loneliest person on Earth. As though a major part of her was being carried away from her in front of her very own eyes and she couldn't do a thing but burst into tears to stop it. It was almost as if the wind would start blowing- harsh and cold. It sounds dramatic, but that's one way to describe the feeling. She felt hollow-- incomplete, helpless. Almost dead. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFPGkG1G8T0

His presence made her feel complete. Secure.

He made her feel beautiful like never before. :)

Writers block?.

2012-03-22T12:12:00.000-07:00

February 2011 was when I wrote my first blog here. That makes me realize how long it has been since I reported my thoughts-- more than a year. Been keeping it all inside. All jammed, blocked. And ironically, this was the period when I went through events I had never even imagined I'd get to experience.
Now that I've actually made up my mind and sat down to properly jot them down, I got nothing to write. But nothing? How can it be nothing? I've had so much on my mind lately... ohh I know now. I think I'm going through writers block! But why..? Is there supposed to be a reason behind it? I don't know... maybe because I haven't been putting my abilities to practice since quite a while... maybe because I have so much on my mind that all of it is struggling to come out simultaneously and that can't possibly happen. Or maybe, I'm confused. Whether to let them out like this... which ones to show and which ones to camouflage behind words-- tricky words. So, even if it is writers block that I'm experiencing at the moment, I'll take the initiative and start writing again. This much should be enough for beginners, I guess. Good luck to me for the next time! Hope my thoughts come out more... orderly. :)

Because I'm Not Prepared To Die

2011-02-17T16:49:00.000-08:00

I cry because I think of them,

and all that they do for me.

I wonder, if able to pay them back,

will I ever be?

I cry because I think too much

of all the mistakes I've made.

Irreparable, as I know they are;

the regrets will never fade.

I cry because I know,

that he will not always be there.

One day I'll have to let him go,

and that's my biggest fear.

I cry because I've always seen

people change like weather.

How hard can it possibly be,

to peacefully stay together?

The world thinks I cry because

I'm afraid to say Good bye,

but they don't know I cry because;

I'm not prepared to die.

Certain Realizations:

The Food's Here...!

Clickdonate: A chance for us to be the change we wish to see in the world

Beauty Is A State Of Mind.

Are you Secretly Me?

Just Another Realization

Nobody Knows

I Am The Change

I'll Move On

MONSTERS

I Envy Him

Maine Bhaagna Shuru Ker Dia

Its All The Same

Aasmaan Waala: The Lord of The Skies

Hoping Against Hope

Promises And Pie Crusts

A Lullaby

Sleep, baby mine,

Now close your eyes,

And don't be up,

Until sunrise.

We'll talk and sing and everything

Of things you like so much,

I'll hold you close and tender while,

My ever so slight touch

Will take you to the softest cloud,

Right beneath the moon;

Where you can watch the twinkling stars

And drift to Dream Land soon.

Sleep, baby mine,

Now close your eyes,

And don't be up,

Until sunrise.

While You Were Out

Serendipity: Major Mehdi

My Bird Lies Wounded Before My Eyes

You Never Know...

Last night, I talked to a friend after a long time. Here's how the conversation goes:

A: I'm just... i dont know, its all good but then I'm not sure.

B: What exactly is wrong?

A: I'm not sure... I think I need a break.

B: A break from what?

A: Everything.

B: That includes him, too? A: Yes.

B: Like, not talk to him for a while?A: Not exactly that. Just not HAVE to talk to him for a while.Like that time im SUPPOSED to be here. AND for a certain amount of time.

B: Emmm... why so?

A: I dont knoww... I just don't know!

B: Of course you know. There's a reason for everything. What's your reason?

A: I'm having lotsss of troubles right now.You have NO idea what shit I'm in!B: Well then, tell me? I'm all ears.

A: No its OK. Just school, career, my part time job, people around me and the running time...These are like the key terms.I dont wanna elaborate. It will ruin my mood.

B: Then don't. You don't have to.But talking about him, how exacly are things going?

A: They are good, he's all nice and everything.B: no complaints?A: Not at all! Its just that...I'm not in a good shape to be social or anything. I dont even talk to my friends. I just like to stay quiet. Its hard to explain... I feel guilty actually cuz I'm not givin him any time.

A: He does sometimes... but he doesn't know... like he does know... urgh!The phase, its just not ending. I'm always lost and worried.So i think it bugs him... It probably does.

B: I see... did you ever try explaining? Though I'm sure you don't feel like explaining, but still?

A: Umm kinda... like I told him I have tests coming up... But unfortunately, I failed almost all! And then you know how awful it feels... i just wanted to punch walls and kick stuff around!

They are beaming, but dying inside

Happy, but ruefully sighing inside.

Beautiful.

This story will be told in parts.It depicts the problems faced by such juvenile couples and the sad outcome of it. Here is the first part: Beautiful. Keep following for the rest. Happy reading!

Writers block?.

Because I'm Not Prepared To Die

B: That includes him, too?
A: Yes.

B: Like, not talk to him for a while?
A: Not exactly that. Just not HAVE to talk to him for a while.Like that time im SUPPOSED to be here. AND for a certain amount of time.

A: I'm having lotsss of troubles right now.You have NO idea what shit I'm in!
B: Well then, tell me? I'm all ears.

B: Then don't. You don't have to.
But talking about him, how exacly are things going?

A: They are good, he's all nice and everything.
B: no complaints?
A: Not at all! Its just that...I'm not in a good shape to be social or anything. I dont even talk to my friends. I just like to stay quiet. Its hard to explain... I feel guilty actually cuz I'm not givin him any time.