CHAFFIN'S

I'm Back!!!!

2014-03-10T21:00:00.001-07:00

I haven't blogged in FOREVER!!!! I really don't have any valid excuse other than I felt like nobody really read it so why blog?? I haven't been on my computer much and I can't pull it up from my ipad so I just haven't done it. I feel like tonight I should start again. There's been so much going on and I'm sure I can't catch up on everything but I guess I can try!

August: We bought our first house out in Eagle Mountain! I love the area that we're in but I remember saying goodbye to Robbie's grandma (where we had been staying for the last year and a half) and left crying because I knew it wouldn't be the same. It was so awesome living with them but at the same time so hard because I wanted our own space. I wanted Brooklynn to have a room of her own. I wanted to be able to bake and make cakes again. If I could do it over again I would still stay with them. I learned what amazing people they are and I became so close to them. I have nothing but good to say about them. To put up with us for a year and a half when it was only suppose to be 6 months was so kind of them.

I was grateful Brooklynn was able to see them on a daily basis. She is their first great grandchild (out of two-which the other one is in Texas) and to see them dote over every little thing she did was priceless. She still is able to have a sleepover every week with them and then they watch her one day during the day while I work.

I'm grateful to not have the 40 minute commute every day both ways. That was so draining physically and mentally because I wasn't able to spend much time with Brooklynn and i hated that!!!

The ward that we are in is amazing! From day one I have felt welcome! I'm so grateful for the bishopric and for the friends that we have made since being here. I know this is where we are suppose to be.

On October 29 my twin brother, Jeff, was killed in a car accident. That was one of the worst days of my life and I'm still struggling with it. He was killed instantly so I know he didn't suffer but I miss him so much. I wasn't extremely close to him-we'd see each other every few months at parties but I sure miss him.

There were so many tender mercies that happened after he passed that made me aware that my Heavenly Father loves me. I still receive those tender mercies. Every time I see a sunrise/sunset my mind instantly goes to Jeff and I know that somehow he played a part in sending one my way to brighten my day.

My family says I love you a lot more now. Those of you that know my family know that we're not extremely close-which I regret now but I'm trying to work on it. My dad has been a ROCK for all of us to lean on. I'm so grateful he is my dad.

It's been almost 5 months that he's passed but it still feels like yesterday I got the awful call at work. I'm grateful for the plan of salvation to know that I will see him again. I know he's up with my grandpa preparing the way for when we all pass but it doesn't make the loss any easier. I would be lost without the gospel and the knowledge that I will see him again! What an amazing gift that is.

On a lighter note-Brooklynn is now 2 and talking up a storm. She is the smartest little girl I know. She makes me laugh so hard and is such an amazing little girl. I'm so blessed to be her mom. She's just our little miracle. I can't even imagine my life without her-or what it was like before her. I'm getting ready to start potty training her soon. Wish me luck on that one.

I guess that's it for now. I will try to update when I can with pictures!

We're having fun!

2013-07-02T19:23:00.000-07:00

Brooklynn's first ice cream cone

Sleeps in weird positions

She loves stories!!

All ready for church

Dr Johnson and Brooklynn at Tarzan

Fun at the water park

Watch out for Brooklynn! she's already driving

Tibblefork Resevoir

We've been having a good summer so far! I feel like because I work than I need to make up for it on my days off by doing something fun with Brooklynn! Hopefully soon I can just be at home with her more and just enjoy every second!!!
   She loves water so we went to the Riverton splash park and she had so much fun!! She loves the water and is really brave and will just put her face right up to the water! she also loves being around other kids so it's a win win situation. It's been so hot lately that the only way you can be outside is if you're around water!
My work payed for the play Tarzan and dinner at the Scera theater in Orem and so me, my mom, Heidi my sister, Cierra my niece and Brooklynn went and we sat right behind Dr. Johnson (one of the drs I work for) and Brooklynn kept playing peekaboo with her and smelling/petting her hair. Everyone around us was cracking up laughing at how funny she was being. I'm so glad Dr. Johnson was a good sport about it.
   We took a drive up American Fork Canyon and stopped at Tibblefork and let Brooklynn play in the little creek there. She thought we left way too early....and so do I. She would be outside all day if she could.
      She just had her 18 month appointment and she is doing great. She's getting really tall and just so smart. She catches on to everything and is always making us laugh. I'm just so grateful that we're blessed to have her in our lives and that we can teach her all that we know!!!

Pics of Brooklynn

2013-04-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

So it's about time I update our blog huh?? I've just been trying to enjoy time with Brooklynn that I haven't turned on my computer much and it takes too long to blog on my phones so I just haven't done it. Plus I'm not sure that anyone even reads it anyway. But I thought that I would show off the cute pics we had taken of her when we were in TX for her first birthday! I thought they turned out so cute.

So an update on Brooklynn-she is now officially walking/running!!! She now doesn't really want to be held because she can walk. She loves the outdoors and would be out there all night if she could be. She loves chairs. She loves music, pianos, etc. She can say -momma, dadda, "poppa" for grandpa, Ca for Cassie, bye, boo, dog, AJ and a few others that she just makes the beginning sounds. She catches on so fast. I can't believe how much she has grown up!!! She is such a happy girl.

Robbie and I are still at his grandparents but plan on looking for houses in the summer time. Robbie is working at SEO and I am still at the drs office!!!

Long Overdue Update

2012-09-04T20:48:00.000-07:00

So having a baby is hard work!!! Before Brooklynn was born I was on the computer every day for a few hours. now I am on here just like once a month, sometimes less just depending on how my day goes. I enjoy spending the time I have with her and she's all that I talk about now!! My phone is full of pictures of her and her awesome accomplishments!

She turned 8 months on the 28th and has changed so much!!! She now is a crawler, getting her first tooth and is such a happy baby. Her first word was hi but she will only say it when she wants to and not when you want her too. She has a very strong personality and can't wait for her to continue to learn!!

We were able to spend a weekend with Robbie's mom, sister and niece and it was so much fun! They came in town for my other sister in laws baby shower and then we went up to Oakley to Robbie's grandparents cabin and just got to spend time together. I enjoyed the time so much.

Nothing else really has been going on. We've just been living from day to day and enjoying each others company!!!

Brooklynn is 6 months....and a 1/2!!!

2012-07-13T17:41:00.000-07:00

So I never get on my computer anymore so I just never blog anymore!!! Everything's always about Brooklynn anyways and sometimes I figure the 2 readers I have get sick of hearing about her!!!! Oh well. She's adorable and we love her!!!

She turned 6 mo on the 28th and had her appt on the 11th. She weighs 13 lbs 9 oz (gained almost a lb in 2 weeks)!!!! She's 24 1/2 in long. She is just a really tall/petite baby. She still is mostly in newborn onesies (when she wears them) and just depending on the outfit 0-3 or 3-6 months.

She is now eating solids and loves them. I think she's gonna love food just like her mom!! We have given her peas, carrots, green beans and squash and now have the ok to give her fruits!!! She will sit and open her mouth even before I get the spoon ready because she's hungry. She loves water.

She rolls everywhere now and I swear she's on the verge of starting to talk. Robbie can get her laughing really good!! Depending on the day she may do it for me. She smiles when either Robbie or I enter the room. She smiles a lot at guys. She's just an overall happy baby (which I'm sure I've said in every post).

She loves bath time. We bought her a pool and have tried it for her but the water has been too cold so she didn't really enjoy it so we'll keep trying. She loves to drink water especially out of a mini water bottle!

anyways, that's all about Brooklynn. There's nothing really new going on with Robbie or me. We are headed to ID next weekend to visit Katy and Josh and see Tyler, Robbie's little brother which we haven't seen in a year!!!! Our big vacation for the year is going to TX for 2 weeks at Christmas time!! It will be the first time in 5 years that all the kids will be there and it will be the last one for 2 years because Tyler will be on a mission the next Christmas.

All about Brooklynn

2012-06-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

So Brooklynn is now 6 months old!!!! I don't know where the time went and I don't remember my life before her!!! She is starting to be so interactive with us and I love it.

Things she can do-
    roll from belly to back
   roll from back to belly
   stand up if we're helping her
   sit unsupported for a few seconds
   giggle
   put her binky in her mouth by herself
   recognize her name
   smiles for mom and dad (and pretty much anyone else)
   scrunches her nose
   scoot across the floor on her back
   hold her own bottle

She is such a happy baby and wakes up just smiling! She has started sleeping in some really weird positions....

I love playing dress up with her and figuring out what she's going to wear every day!!!

I love this picture!! I think just cuz there's not many pics of me and her and I actually look somewhat decent in it!

Brooklynn now weighs 12 lbs 10 oz. I'm not exactly how tall she is, I'll find out on the 11th. She just recently started solids and likes carrots and peas. She's not too fond of green beans. That's all that we've introduced her to so far. The highlight of my day is to come home and feed her solids! I'm selfish and don't let the babysitters feed her because I love it so much.

She is starting to show her personality more and more every day. She loves her great grandma and grandpa Chaffin (who we're living with right now)

She loves to be sung to if she's upset. She only really likes to cuddle if she's extremely tired or she doesn't feel well. She has been teething for the last 2 months and I thought a tooth would be showing up soon but it hasn't. We just love having her in our lives and look forward to seeing her beautiful smiles. She's starting to babble more and more and I think she's on the verge of saying "mama" or "dada". She does have red hair and she looks a lot like my nieces Cierra and Celena!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN THE HOSPITAL TOO LONG WHEN.....

2012-06-29T21:37:00.000-07:00

So Robbie and I were bored towards the end of my hospital stay and were coming up with all these things that you know you're in the hospital too long when... so I decided I'd blog about it!! Why not right??? I haven't blogged in a month so I might as well slam the blog with updates! So here goes....

You know you're in the hospital too long when....

   -You count the drips on the floor in the hallway wondering what it is or where/who it came from.

-You start taking pictures of pictures in the hospital (there was some freaking looking pictures down in the hallways)

   -You start asking about your neighbors

   -When your nurses and everyone else knows you and your spouse by your first name

-You start having races with the Spirometer

   -You see other family members at the hospital visiting another one of your family members

   -You know all the mute buttons on all the machines

   -Your spouse knows where all the food/vending machines are in the hospital

   -Your spouse starts trying out the equipment they have for you

   -You think the variation of food is a change in color of jello

   -You start giving directions to people out in the hallways

   -You know all the channels on the tv

   - You start saying bye to your neighbors as they're leaving and you're not

   -You wake seconds before the phlebotomist comes in the room to draw your blood every morning   

   -Your fresh flowers somebody has brought you/sent you has died

   -Your bartering with your spouse for your lunch/dinner

   -You have to tell the nurses what time the main doors at the hospital lock

   -If you know all the generic names of all the drugs you're taking

   -You can start joking with the doctors about drugs

   -You start calling your room "The Suite"

 My view from the chair

 View from the door

    -You try to figure out what everyone else is in the hospital for

    -You ask nurses if they'll sneak food in for you (I really wanted a frosty.....so this was my version of one I could have)....

    -The nurses can take your vitals and not really wake you up because you're used to it

    -People start offering to nurse your child for you until you get out

    -You start taking pictures of everything you're eating

    -Your IV tape starts eating away at your skin

    -You name your IV pole "Ed" 

(That was my friend Ed and he had to go everywhere i had to go even if he didn't want to). 

Gall Bladder Surgery (IT'S LONG)

2012-06-29T20:54:00.000-07:00

So I had my first gall bladder attack back in December 2010. I have a really high pain tolerance and Robbie was close to taking me to the ER to figure out what was going on....I endured the pain and went to work the next day and was seen by a dr I work with who told me I probably had gall bladder problems....after blood work and an u/s it was confirmed. So I wasn't having any more pain from it so what do I do? Procrastinate getting my gall bladder out. Why have surgery if it's not bothering me right? I would have a few attacks off and on. Then I get pregnant....which now I know sets off the gall bladder attacks. I had some bad ones but they don't really like to do surgery when you're pregnant if they can help it but they will up until 20 weeks....well I figured I could endure it until our baby was born. Well she was born in December and then in March right before i was suppose to go back to work I had the WORST ATTACK EVER!!!!!!! I thought I was going to DIE!!! And let me tell you it's a lot harder to have an attack and then have a little person needing your attention when you're trying to figure out how to get rid of the pain. For those of you who have never had a gall bladder attack think of labor....if you're a girl (I think the last attack was way worse than labor)! Pain in your chest (at least that's where I got it), I'd get really hot, pain would get really intense and I just wanted to cry. Let me remind you that I have a HIGH pain tolerance. (I got an epidural after the contractions had been off the chart for like 45 min). (Sorry I keep referring to labor but that's the only thing I can compare it to). I was nauseated and Brooklynn just kept crying because she wanted to be held and it just hurt so bad to lay her on my chest. Usually I could take some lemon herbal drops and it would help. This time it didn't. It was getting so bad I had to call Robbie and tell him he needed to come home NOW so that he could take care of Brooklynn while I continued to die!! Well he works 40 mins away so in the meantime I had to make due. Long story short I had to call Robbie's grandma on the phone (who lives upstairs) because I was in so much pain and couldn't go upstairs and get her to come down and help me with Brooklynn.

After that we decided it was time to get my gall bladder taken out!! So in May I met with Dr. Ian Cavin (who I loved and would refer to ANYONE!!!!!) We scheduled my surgery for June 8th. (I have this thing with scheduling things on days I would remember...June 8 is my little brothers birthday, it was my first OB appt I had for Brooklynn). So I was planning on an in and out procedure....boy was I wrong.

So my mom took Brooklynn Thursday night because we had to be at the hospital pretty early the next morning. Robbie asked the nurse what's the worst case scenario and she said that maybe we'd have to stay a night because I was nauseated from the anesthesia or something like that but nothing really major and she had never seen anything more than that. I go in for the procedure probably around 9:45 or so and it takes about 45 min I think (I was pretty groggy because of the anesthesia). Next thing I remember is the dr telling me that I had 25+ stones were in my gall bladder and that I had at least that many more in my bile duct so I would have to have another procedure done later that day to get rid of them all. I was still pretty groggy from everything and was feeling ok.

So we had to wait for the GI doctor to come in and talk to us and tell us our options....I could either be cut open or I could get an ERCP done (which is where they put a tube, or something, down my throat while I'm asleep and go down through my stomach and up my pancreas and put a stent in and then pull the stones out). They could try to get as many as they could but they wanted to be careful because if they knocked the pancreas too much I could end up with pancreatitis which they were trying to avoid which I was ok with. We decided to do the ERCP and so they took me down and prepped me for that.

They put me to sleep (but before I fell asleep I felt/saw my grandpa Benard in the room who had passed away 4 yrs ago. I think he was just there to help comfort me which was nice). When I woke up the dr showed me pics of the 20 gallstones they pulled out from me but i was so groggy (and I didn't have my glasses on) I couldn't really see them great.

This is kind of what they looked like Robbie said. They were the size of sugar cubes!! Ouch. Well and like I said they took 20 out but guess what?? I had at least another 5-15 left in there but the doctor had done enough because of not wanting to create pancreatitis. So I was sent back to my room to recover and then I was suppose to have the procedure done the next day depending on my labs. (This was still Friday).

So I hadn't eaten or drank anything since Thursday night and couldn't do so until Saturday night I think and at that point it was just ice chips...but at that point I think I was just more thirsty than hungry. So my labs came back saying I "should" have pancreatitis but I wasn't acting like I did....goes back to high pain tolerance....

So Saturday afternoon as we were just waiting things out Robbie heads home. The nurse had given me some Dilaudid the night before and she was going to give me another dose and I had told her I don't take pain meds and don't really tolerate them well so please start me off slow because I didn't want to have any problems and would rather not have enough than too much. She reassured me that I would be fine because it was a "low dose" so I trusted her. The last thing I remembered was taking deep breaths to see if it would hurt a little less/different...if that even makes sense. Then I wake up to about 10 people in my room asking me where I was and saying that I wasn't suppose to do something like that and I had to ask them what had happened. I guess the nurse had given me the medication and then left and came back about 15 minutes later and I was purple and was unresponsive. As the report said I was cyanotic. They coded me but didn't have to do any drastic measures because I then became responsive after I don't even know how long. It was kind of scary waking up and not knowing what had happened and having everyone in there!! So from then on I was known by all the nurses as "that Dilaudid pt."

Pretty much after Saturday it was the waiting game....clear until Wednesday. I think I was suppose to have the second ERCP done on like Monday but then they ran out of supplies...maybe it was Tuesday...I don't even remember. I just remember there were days we were just sitting there....and the whole time I could only eat clear liquids...jello, juice and chicken broth or beef broth. GROSS!! Can I just say that I am so SICK OF JELLO!!!!

So the next GI doctor came in on Monday and would do the ERCP on Tuesday...unless I wanted to go home and come back and have it done in a month or so. So I had to make a choice...did I want to go home and be with Brooklynn and possibly still have gall bladder attacks even though I didn't have a gall bladder or stay until it was done...I just decided to stay and get it done. (I wasn't really impressed with the second GI doctor).

So Tuesday we're waiting around to get the procedure and later in the afternoon (I think) the nurse called down to the department I was suppose to go to see why I hadn't been taken down and come to find out they had "run out of supplies" so they couldn't do the procedure. GRRRR. So that meant being at the hospital another day sitting around doing nothing and sometimes not feeling good and sometimes feeling great....I didn't bring anything to do with me because I had thought I would just be there for a few hours. I didn't even have enough energy to pump more than once or twice a day and I was so scared I wouldn't be able to nurse Brooklynn after this hospital stay.

Wednesday they told us the procedure would be around 10:30-11 am. So around noon we had the nurse call down and they said that the doctor was working on one pt and wanted to work on one other pt then he "would try to fit me in"....did they just want my money or did the nurses just love me so much they wanted me to stay longer????? I was SSSOOOO FRUSTRATED/MAD/ANGRY and so I broke down. After being in the hospital away from my baby for so long I lost it. We had the nurse come in and asked her if we could just leave and come back in a month and have it done with the first GI dr because he was a lot better and had a whole lot better bedside manner. She ended up calling my surgeon and in the meantime I made a list of pros and cons of why I should stay to get it done or go home. I had just felt like the doctor was pushing me off and didn't want to do the procedure. So my surgeon called and settled me down and helped me realize I just wanted to get it done so I didn't have to go back.

So that's what we decided to do. Then an hour later I was getting prepped to get the second ERCP done. The doctor had told me as long as I tolerated food well after the procedure I could go home that day. YYYYAAAAYYYYY!!!! You don't even know how exciting that sounded to me. So they put me under and I wake up and I felt a lot different than from the first procedure. They took out 8-12 more stones. I was having some discomfort and so they gave me some pain meds and because of the discomfort the doctor decided to keep me overnight. GGRRR but really at that point I really didn't feel good so I wasn't concentrating on that.

We go back upstairs to our room...our second home....And they were getting some meds ready to give me for the pain and by the time they brought it into me I was feeling fine. About a half an hour later I felt GREAT!!! So I went and asked the nurse if we could just go home that night and the doctor had ordered AM labs so we had to stay! And I still had to be on clear liquids!!!! Finally the next morning my labs came back and looked good so I was cleared to go as long as I could tolerate food! FINALLY I could eat REAL food!! The nurse called down to get me a breakfast tray...2 hrs later they bring up a burnt piece of toast, banana and a bowl of cereal. Seriously?? That's my first meal??? So I ate the toast and did great so I finally got out of the hospital at 11:30 am 6 days later from when I got there!!!

So the dr had said he never has seen anyone with so many gallstones that I had. He said pregnancy really tips it off and I probably made some while I was carrying Brooklynn. I am just one of those rare people or "freak of nature" (that's what Robbie calls me) that loves to make stones and I have a good chance I may have to have another ERCP done in my life to clear out my bile duct again. Oh how fun. Now I can look back on it and say I'm glad it's done and I hope to have to NEVER stay in the hospital again!!!!!!!

4 months

2012-05-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

Great Grandpa Chaffin playing with Brooklynn

Cierra, my oldest niece, and Brooklynn. Brooklynn looks just like Cierra when Cierra was a baby!!

Brooklynn has started fighting sleep and so one day this is how she ended up falling asleep!!

Brooklynn right before her 4 month check up

Brooklynn being a big girl in her bumbo chair!! I love how she holds her binky

Daddy and Brooklynn watching muppets after a very long night....she had her first ear infection!!

Grandpa Chaffin has taught her how to stick her tongue out!!

Brooklynn looking to make sure daddy is watching her!!!

Brooklynn turned 4 months on April 28th but we weren't able to get into the dr for a few weeks after! Her stats are:

Height 23 1/2 inches

Weight 10 lbs 13 oz!!!!! She's getting so big! I know you will say that's still small but to me that's gigantic!

Head Circumference 16 inches

She's in the 11-12 percentile for height, 53 percentile for weight and 71 percentile for her head! I just can't believe how big she's getting. Her appt was Monday, May 7 and right before her appt she started talking and she hasn't really stopped!! It's so cute. I think a light switch just went off in her head and she now tells us everything!! She can roll from her stomach to her back, grab toys and swing them back and forth, hold her head up really well. She is definitely going to be a daddy's girl. She usually in bed by 8 which is GREAT!!! and will usually sleep through the night. She is a morning person which I'm not too thrilled about but I'm starting to become one too. She is such a happy baby and will wake up just smiling. The only time she really cries is when she's hurting, really hungry or really tired. We think she's teething because she puts everything and anything in her mouth, drools a TON, more fussy, not sleeping very well.

We love having her in our lives and I really just don't remember what we did before her. I know I keep saying that but it's true. I keep looking at pics of when she was in the NICU and she has grown so much! She is going to be tall and skinny I think. She just brings such a great spirit to our house and everyone just loves her.

Brooklynn's Blessing

2012-03-29T10:31:00.001-07:00

We blessed Brooklynn on Sunday at my mom's ward. It was a beautiful day and the blessing was wonderful! We didn't get a lot of pics of Brooklynn in her dress but I think I'm going to have some taken cuz she just looked so cute!

Robbie did a great job at blessing her. It was funny because they announced that I was the mother (using my maiden name) and then saying Brooklynn was going to be blessed by her uncle, Robert Chaffin (not sure where they got that from!!!). My mom had it corrected though.

Robbie blessed her that she would continue to grow strong, blessed that the angels watching over her would remain watching over her (she has many of them), she would be an example to her parents, friends and family, she would find an eternal companion and marry him in the temple and do genealogy work for her ancestors. That's all that I remember. Robbie said there is a lady in my mom's ward that is going to transcribe the blessing and then give it to my mom. I'm excited to see it all again.

We had a lot of friends and family come to support us!! The people in the circle were (for me to remember): Robbie, RJ Arnold (my dad), Grandpa Roland Arnold (my grandpa), Steve Warner (my uncle), Josh Montross (my brother-in-law), Bob Tucker (Robbie's dad), Grandpa Royce MacKay (Robbie's grandpa), Tim Gilson (Robbie's friend), Brian Herbst (family friend).

The Proud Parents

The grandparents on my side of the family. Top Row: Me, Robbie, My mom, my dad, Grandpa Arnold

Bottom: Granny Dee, Grandma Benard (holding Brooklynn), Grandma Arnold

4 Generations: Me, My mom

Granny Dee, Grandma Benard, Grandma Arnold

Robbie, Me Grandma Renie (Robbie's grandma)

Robbie's immediate family that was there: Me, Robbie, Bob, Patty

Josh, Katy (missing Stephanie, Jeff, MacKayla and Tyler)

My mom made a note of this pic that it looked like Katy's baby so we switched her and Josh spots

Robert (Robbie's dad), Robbie

Grandpa Chaffin, Grandma Chaffin (This is their first great grandchild)

All the aunts and uncles of Brooklynn. Back Row from left to Right: Dave (my uncle), Suzi (my sis in law), Jeff (my brother), AJ (my brother), KayC (my uncle), Steve (my uncle), Mike (my uncle)

2nd Row, left to right: Jen (my sister), Josh (my bro-in-law), Clark (Robbie's uncle), Corinne (my aunt), Suzanne (my aunt)

Front row: Katy (Robbie's sis), Besty (Robbie's aunt), Ronnie (Robbie's uncle)

We are so grateful for all the family and friends that came! For a lot of them this was the first time to see/hold Brooklynn so I was glad everyone came! We are blessed with wonderful family.

All I have to say is WOW!!!

2012-03-13T19:49:00.000-07:00

So I was given a fair amount of warning that my emotions/hormones would be out of wack for a little while after having a baby....so I thought that meant for a month or so. But I was wrong!!! Brooklynn is 2 1/2 months old and I have cried so much in the last week and I'm not always sure why I'm sad/upset. The bad part of it is I think Robbie gets the brunt of it. He is an amazing husband and father and always does what is best for us and I feel like I'm always crying or complaining about something. I sure hope these hormones fix themselves soon otherwise I don't know what I'll do with myself.....

I do just have to complain about a nurse practioner we took Brooklynn to for her 2 month appointment. The NICU recommended we take her to a pediatrictian because she was a preemie instead of just taking her to a physician assistant that I work with and trust so we took their advice and found one that was in our area.

We made our list of questions to ask her so we wouldn't forget and the nurse wrote them all down and the NP came in and just breezed through them all and then she examined Brooklynn but it was like she was almost scared to touch her. I guess I'm used to the doctors and PA's and NP's that I work with that act like every kid that comes in is their own. And then when it came to the formula issue (we've tried Brooklynn on 4 different formulas to help supplement her to gain weight faster and every single one upsets her stomach HORRIBLY and we just have to sit and listen to her cry as she tries to have bowel movements) we felt like she didn't really listen to us and she just said here try this formula and we'll check her next week....what do you know...the exact same thing happened so we took her off the formula ourselves and decided we would just take her to the PA I work with and get his advice.

Brooklynn had to have her 2 month shots and we've had so much troubles with her shots that I'm getting so irritated!!! To start with...the hospital told us she was too small so she shouldn't get her first Hep B until her 2 month appt but yet it got sent into the health department that she actually got her shot. So we explained that to the NP and she said that we would wait to give her the Hep B until we found out for sure that she actually didn't get it....well I just found out today that the pediatricians office still gave her the shot even though they told us they were going to wait and since we had taken Brooklynn to the PA at my office we were under the impression she hadn't got the shot so they gave it to her. Then as I was looking at her shot record the dumb nurse at the pediatricians office didn't mark that she got one immunization and all she said was "oh I guess I forgot to mark that one"....um that kind of would of put us in a mess when she went to get the next shot. Grrrr. I'm just glad we're not going back to that office EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! We're taking her to see someone that we can trust and will listen to our concerns.

2 Months

2012-03-08T19:08:00.000-08:00

I can't believe Brooklynn is already 2 months (she's actually 2 1/2 months now). I don't know what we did before we had her but we sure love her!!! She's a really happy baby as long as she doesn't have formula in her system or I eat dairy or chocolate....yup that means no chocolate for me. :( But I'll sacrifice it for now!!!

She is in 1 percentile for weight. She is now 7 lbs and 1 oz which she gained while we had her on formula but it tears up her stomach. She cries so hard when she's trying to have a bowel movement and is really gassy and it's awful. There have been multiple days I will just sit and cry with her because she is in pain. We have tried 4 different formulas and none have seemed to work. We have diluted the formula and that still doesn't seem to help. We have tried soy milk and so we're not sure what the next step is but I hope we can find something that causes her not to be in pain. I'm sure we probably have to give it longer but we'll see what the PA says when I talk to him on Monday as to what he recommends. He says she's gaining weight just on breast milk but just not fast enough but the neonatologist in the hospital told us that it may take awhile to catch up but she will eventually catch up.

She's in 7 percentile for her height. She is 20 inches long. She has legs kind of like a frog. I love watching her get a bath (my mom usually gives her one). It's so cute!! I think she will be pretty tall when she's older because both Robbie and I are tall.

She's in 10 percentile for her head. I think she's just small all together cuz she was premature. I still just look at her and it seems like she gets bigger every day. She still doesn't really fit in any newborn clothes but she's outgrown the preemies so she has really baggy clothes. We have so many clothes that I can't wait for her to fit in but I'm sure that will come soon enough.

We love having her in our life. Within the last few weeks she has started smiling a whole lot more and "talking" to us. I love it. She has this cute little squeal she does if she thinks we're not paying attention to her. She still is running the show. If I wake her up to eat then she gets mad the food isn't in her mouth right then and lets us know it. She recognizes me and Robbie and smiles a lot more to Robbie than to me but I've had 2 different times where someone was holding her and she started crying and they handed her back to me and she stopped....that's one thing I've looked forward to FOR SO LONG and it's finally happening!!! I love it.

I love being a mom. There are days I get frustrated because she can't tell me exactly what she needs but I think we've got her cries down pretty good. She is a pretty content baby and I'm just so glad I am blessed to be a mother. I know I'm probably not doing things the way other people would do them but I'm just trying to trust my instinct. I had a friend tell me that it just will come naturally and you'll know what to do...and it has.

Where does time go??

2012-02-18T13:24:00.000-08:00

So I've been lucky to have a great company that will work with me on how long I take off work. I was originally planning on taking 6 weeks off work but then where I had to be on bedrest for 2 weeks I was bummed because I thought then I'd only have a month with Brooklynn and part of that would've been when she was in the NICU so really I wouldn't have had much time at home with her.

Luckily I'm able to take 8 weeks off so I get more time with her which I love. I think it's going to be so hard to leave her the first day...but at least I know she'll be in good hands. My mom, Robbie's grandma and one of my friends will be watching her while we're at work which helps but it would be so much better if I could just do it every day!!! Hopefully eventually I can become a full time stay at home mom! But until then I'll treasure every minute i have with her!!!

So back to the title of my post....where does the time go???? I have to go back to work in less than a month!!! I know it's going to come so fast and I don't want it too!!!

Brooklynn's so Adorable!!

2012-02-14T16:06:00.000-08:00

My friend, Jessica, was sweet enough to take some ADORABLE pictures of Brooklynn!! I loved how they turned out and am so thankful she did them for us! I've decided that Brooklynn will smile a ton until you get a camera in front of her face and then she stops! Hopefully she'll change that soon. She has brought so much joy to our lives and I'm so glad she joined our family. I don't know what I did without her! She will be 7 weeks tomorrow! I can't believe it's been that long!!

My Favorite Thing.....

2012-01-31T12:48:00.000-08:00

Brooklynn was making a funny face so I told Robbie to match her face....but then Brooklynn changed her face....

She will always be safe in her daddy's hands....

Such a proud daddy

Their morning reading/music time.

So I sure hope Robbie doesn't get mad at me for posting this....but the one thing I have loved the most, by far, is how much he loves Brooklynn! Even before she was born he was looking up dollhouses and talking about how she's not going to date until she is like 50, etc. He initially wanted a son so that he could coach the sports teams and rough house with him and when he found out we were having a girl he was wrapped right around her finger.

Right after she was delivered he was right by her side just admiring her and watching everything they were doing to get her cleaned up. From the minute she arrived in this world he has made sure he has taken care of her and done what needs to be done.

He is sooo cute with her. He asks me to text him pics of her throughout the day so that he can just see her. He has introduced her to different types of music (she won't learn this from me....I barely know any bands), he reads to her, he takes time every day just to enjoy her. I know that she just loves her daddy because he can get her to smile pretty much on cue and as soon as I try she won't do it. She'll do anything for him and vice versa.

Having a child has made me realize how much I really love Robbie. I know I loved him before but just seeing him hold Brooklynn when she's crying and trying to make her feel better just melts my heart. He is just such an amazing guy and I'm so thankful he is in my life and that we will be together forever!!

Brooklynn is Home!!

2012-01-21T16:41:00.000-08:00

I feel like I have so much to post about but no time to do it in!!! I tried downloading some pics from my phone to my computer so I could put them on the blog and just getting like 10 pics downloaded took forever and then I wanted to sleep...so I did. So I will continue to work on the pics but on the meantime I will update our last few days....

I went to the hospital on Monday to see Brooklynn with my mom and the nurse told us they would like us to "room-in" (where you stay at the hospital in a room...kinda like a hotel room...and the baby is still hooked up to everything but we can't see the numbers and then we just actually get to act like parents and change her diapers, feed her, wake up when she wakes up etc) and then if we felt comfortable and she passes the car seat test then we would get to take her home.

So we stayed the night and it seemed like she woke up a lot...more than we were used to because we had never had to get up for a child before. So I think we ended up getting like 1 hour of sleep. At 9 am the nurse came in and took Brooklynn to do her car seat test...which she failed within the first 10 minutes of, and so they tried her in another one that was meant for preemies and she passed it. So they brought her into us and said ok she's ready to go home...unhook her and change her and we'll take everything outside. I had thought they would unhook everything and maybe get her cleaned up before we left because she still had the stickers on her face from the oxygen...but they left that to us...oh well...at least we finally got to take our baby girl home!!!!!!!!

The first night she was home was CRAZY!!!! She slept probably no more than 45 minutes the whole night. I think it was a mixture of her trying to get used to a new place, actually being around her parents, nursing every feeding instead of bottle feeding, etc. By the morning I was so exhausted! I don't think I had ever been that tired before in my life. She would eat and I'd lay her down and then she'd just sleep for a minute or so and then wake up and cry. It was so hard for me because I have never been a mom before and I didn't know what to do for her to make her sleep. By 7 am she still wasn't sleeping so I just sat in bed and held her and just cried. I didn't know what to do, I was so frustrated, tired and emotional! I didn't realize that my emotions would be kicked up a notch once she came home but they sure were. I had to text my mom to see what advice she could give me. I sat and talked to Robbie and I just felt like an awful mom because I didn't know what to do.

She's now been with us since Tuesday and we're still trying to figure things out and get frustrated but I just love to be able to kiss her all day long if I want to or if I want to hold her without wires attached to her I can!!! I get to just sit and stare at her continually amazed that I really am a mom...this is what I have been dreaming of for years and it's finally happening! It's not exactly what i thought but it's pretty close. It's amazing to think that I am now responsible for this little child...Robbie and I are the ones that will make decisions that effect her life....so we better make good ones!

I will post pics soon!!!! She is now 5 lbs 6 ozs and growing like a week. I put a newborn outfit on her and it drowned her! But she will fit into it soon I'm sure. She still has thick, reddish brown hair, gorgeous dark blue eyes and is just so freaking darn cute!!!!! I can't wait for you all to meet her!!!

Pictures

2012-01-08T20:03:00.000-08:00

Here are a bunch of pictures of Brooklynn!!! They aren't in really any particular order but just a bunch I have taken over the last week and a half. I love the one with Robbie and Brooklynn. It is so sweet to see those 2 together.

Brooklynn is now 4 lbs 10 oz and quickly growing. She is now doing "ad lib feeding" where she wakes herself up when she's hungry and she lets the nurse know that she's hungry. Robbie and I have yet to really hear her use her lungs but I guess soon enough we will. The nurses just keep telling us that Brooklynn is running the show and everything revolves around her!! We are just so grateful she is in our lives and we don't know what we would do without her!!

She should be completely off oxygen tomorrow and as long as she can go a day without and "periodic breathing" (where she "forgets" to breath for like 10 seconds) then she can come home!!!!!!!! We are so excited!!! The nurse practioners all tell us that she eats like a champ and she's keeping her temperature up so we just are trying to get her off oxygen. I am so amazed at how quickly she is improving. Tonight my mom and I went and spent a few hours with her and she was awake for a full 2 hours!!!!!!!! By the time we were getting ready to leave she was so tired but she was fighting it so bad and I think it was because she knew that I would be leaving and wouldn't be back until the next day. It was hard to leave but knowing that hopefully by the end of this week she will be ALL MINE!!!! I just can't wait to cuddle with her and spend so much time with her. It's amazing how quickly our lives have changed and what a miracle she is to our family. I'm pretty sure it was a miracle that we got pregnant and then to have her born a month early and doing as well as she is...she's just a pure miracle! I love her so much and can't wait to see her grow up and reach her potential.

NICU

2012-01-04T20:32:00.000-08:00

So Brooklynn has been in the NICU for a week and has made some amazing progress!!! The Nurse Practitioners that are watching over her have mentioned how amazed they are at her progress. She has had a feeding tube in her, IV for an antibiotic, IV for lipids to give her the nutrients that she needed. She had lost an ounce but she is now almost up to 4 lbs 5 oz!!!!

She has been eating so good the last few days. I am so proud of her!! It has been so hard to split my time in seeing her and resting! I believe that I was blessed to not have a hard delivery so I can focus my time on her and trying to rest so that when she comes home I can focus my whole attention to her! The nurses that have watched over her have been amazing and most of them have treated her like they were their own which makes it so much easier to leave her in their hands.

I have had a few emotional breakdowns. I just want to be able to hold my baby girl when I want to hold her and for as long as I want to. I know it will come in time and I just need to be patient but it's so hard some days! Robbie and I have tried so hard having a positive attitude which I think has helped a lot. We are planning on her coming home around her due date and not sooner so then if she does get released sooner then it will be a great celebration!!!

I just have to say that I am SO GRATEFUL for all of you that have expressed love, prayers and help in anyway that you can. I have felt the strength from those prayers. I know I couldn't do this on my own and days I plead to my Heavenly Father to give me the strength to get through this. I have found so many people that I wasn't aware of that either were in the NICU when they were little or had their own children in the NICU and they have been able to give us the strength that we need. I know that in 2 months it will seem like a distant memory but right now it feels like the 23rd will never get here. I just hope that I can be a mother to Brooklynn that she needs me to be. She already has shown me what a fighter she is and what an amazing spirit she has. She isn't going to give up so why should I give up on her? She is my little angel and she has daddy wrapped right around her fingers!!!

I will try to keep you all updated on what's going on and will add pictures soon. I think I have used all my energy to get caught up to this point. Thank you again for all your prayers and encouragement. We really appreciate them.

First Night

2012-01-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

So after Brooklynn was born she was taken to be washed up and I got switched to another room. (I just have to say what GGGREEEAATTT nurses we had at Timp Hospital...every single one we came in contact with were amazing). They had mentioned Brooklynn was having a hard time keeping her temperature up so they were trying to keep an eye on that. They said if she couldn't keep her temperature up then she would probably have to go to the NICU! We had kind of been briefed on that before she was born by my doctor so we were a little more prepared.

The next morning I was informed she wasn't able to keep her temp up so she would be going to the NICU. She wasn't urinating like she should be, her red blood cell counts were up, she may have possibly have an infection from the Strep B. I think I was still a little naive thinking that she could be in the NICU for no more than a week and then be able to go home....boy was I wrong!!!!

We talked to the specialist that worked there and he told us to plan on being able to take her home on her due date which is January 23rd....that was almost a month!!! ONE MONTH!!! Here I was so anxious to take my little girl home to just love her so much and to show her off to everyone and I wasn't able to do that. We were told by my doctor that if he had waited another week to induce me she probably wouldn't had made it....he saved my daughters life! How grateful I am to him...he was such an amazing doctor in everything he did for us.

Our lives have changed!!!!!!!

2012-01-04T20:16:00.000-08:00

I haven't blogged in forever it seems like!!!!! I have found that my time now is torn between going to the hospital to see our beautiful little girl, sleeping, pumping and trying to get our house ready to bring Brooklynn home. I am hoping to get you all caught up on what happened....bear with me if it takes awhile!!! This is the first time I have been on the computer for awhile (I have just been accessing facebook through my phone).

So we went into the hospital on Tuesday, December 27th at 6:30 a.m. We were suppose to be there Monday night but they had called us and told us that there was no room in the hospital (now I just think...."there was no room in the inn....lol) so we had to wait. We had gone in Monday for an amniotic fluid intake test and the fluid was down to 6.99 and our doctor had told us if it had got below 7 he wanted us induced sooner than Tuesday night.

So Tuesday morning they started me on Prepigel which softens the cervix because I was only dilated to a 1. I had to take 3 rounds of that and still didn't dilate at all!!! It was a long 18 hours...Robbie was getting anxious. So at 5 am Wednesday morning they started me on a Pitocin drip that was suppose to start contractions. I started feeling small ones but not anything really big. By like 7 am I still hadn't really progressed so the dr came in at 8:30 am and broke my water. After that I started feeling harder contractions which were painful but I thought that I was being a wimp so I had waited until like 10 to let them know I wanted an epidural which took like another hour to get cuz they had to check some lab tests to make sure it was ok to get on.

9:30-10:30 probably was the worst hour because the contractions were off the chart. I have a high tolerance to pain so the nurse was surprised I was doing so well. Once I got that epidural I was GREAT!!!!! I couldn't feel anything!!!

At 1:00 we had a scare where Brooklynn's heart dropped and they prepped me for an emergency c section just in case. The dr came in and checked me and said that I had progressed really quickly (within like a half an hour) and so he wanted me to try pushing.....4 pushes and Brooklynn had arrived!!!!! 2:31 pm Brooklynn MacKay Chaffin was born. 4 lbs 2 oz and 17.5 inches long. She had a full head of hair!!!!!!!!

Arrival Date

2011-12-22T17:43:00.000-08:00

We went to 2 different doctor appointments yesterday...man I have never been to the hospital/doctors so much in my life (for myself....since I work at a doctors office)!! I feel like I know all the nurses at Timp and of course I know everyone at my drs office.

We first had an ultrasound done to measure Brooklynn's organs and to make sure everything looked good and then Dr. Jacobsen, a maternal fetal medicine doctor, came in and talked to us about what she saw. She said that I have mild pre eclampsia and that Brooklynn was showing some stress from it but not a dire amount. Brooklynn is starting to push more blood to her heart and brain then the rest of her body so she is about 2 weeks behind in growth. The dr said that babies whos mom's have pre ecclampsia seem to be stronger because of the stress they have had to endure. They estimate that she is about 4 lbs 11 oz give or take 11 oz but the doctor said that she's "not a small child and is taking up a lot of room in there" so I think she may just be really skinny and tall. Dr. Jacobsen answered all of our questions and said that she would recommend her being born before 37 weeks but Dr. Hoggard, our OB, would make the final call. She moved my due date up to January 19th instead of the 23rd, which I am still confused about but then that makes me at 36 weeks this week instead of 35.

So after this appointment we went straight to see Dr. Hoggard. I just love him and the staff he has working for him!!! I had previously told Robbie that if we have to be induced I didn't want to ruin Dr. Hoggard's christmas and he just started laughing....I just have always hated inconveniencing people but Robbie and Dr. Hoggard confirmed that this is kind of a different situation and I shouldn't worry about it! But I still do! Anyways I guess the protein in my urine has gone up a little from last week and my blood pressure is starting to slowly creep up and so Dr. Hoggard confirmed that she should be born sooner rather than later so he turned to us and said that we could be induced Friday (tomorrow) or Tuesday the 27th.....wow I was in shock...even though I knew it was coming it still doesn't seem real. So I will go in tomorrow for another non stress test and if everything is still looking ok then we will go in Tuesday morning at 7 a.m. to be induced!!!

I am a little scared, nervous, excited, etc...I don't know what to expect and so that's hard but I trust the doctors and the thing that keeps coming back to me is 2 blessings I have received from 2 different people that said to listen to what the doctors say. I worry that Brooklynn will have to be in the hospital a little longer but she will be well taken care of which I have no doubt!!!

So next week I will be a mom and it still just doesn't seem real to me!!!!!!!! What a blessing and a scary time! Thanks for everyone's thoughts and prayers. We have definitely seen many blessings in our lives and the support from family and friends.

So I guess the next post will be pics of our cute little girl!!!! Oh and by the way....she has hair! The doctor showed us it in the ultrasound which I thought was crazy but so cool cuz I had thought she was going to come out bald!!

Quick Update

2011-12-20T20:57:00.000-08:00

All I have to say is if I didn't have my phone I would feel so disconnected from the world!!! There was a day that it was about to die and I couldn't get the charger to work and I think my blood pressure was raising just because of that!!

We went in for a non stress test yesterday which showed Brooklynn moving around, doing great but my blood pressure is continuing to creep up. I took it just a minute ago and it was 123/82 with me just laying down doing nothing so I have a feeling she'll be here before we know it!!

We have an appointment with the Maternal/Fetal Medicine doctor tomorrow to see if it is going to be more beneficial to me and Brooklynn for her to be born sooner rather than later and then right after that appt we have one with our OB so we can figure out what needs to be done. I was hoping to not have a baby so close to Christmas but it looks like it may be happening! But all I care about is having a healthy baby with no complications to me and her. I'll keep you posted on what the doc says....and I guess an estimation of when our little "cupcake" will be here!!

P.S. On a funny note....I guess I should just document it in case Robbie or I forget this...which I doubt we will. Yesterday while we were at the hospital the nurse asked if I wanted anything like a snack, pop, sandwich, etc (She did ask about a sandwich). So I was freaking STARVING so I told her a snack, sandwich and juice sounded great. So Robbie just keeps teasing me that she didn't ask me if I wanted a sandwich and he's wondering how a sandwich is constituted as a snack....but I SWEAR she said sandwich and let me tell you...it was one of the best sandwiches I ever tasted!! (I'm sure it will be added to our bill but I was so starving!!!)

Bed Rest

2011-12-16T15:40:00.000-08:00

I have a few minutes that I can sit up so I figured I'd update you guys on what's been going on before Robbie gets mad at me for being out of bed for too long....

Tuesday we went in for our 34 week appt and they checked my blood pressure and it was 136/96 which is high for me. I haven't had any problems before with it so they checked it like 3 different times and it was still high and so next thing we knew we were being whisked to the hospital for an ultrasound, a non stress test and blood work to see if I had toxemia. So we had the ultrasound and I asked Robbie if she could tell if Brooklynn had any hair (cuz you know that was the top of my list to know...) but he said the tech was going so fast to check the amniotic fluid to make sure everything was ok and so he didn't really get a chance to even see her. Then we went to labor and delivery and they hooked me up to heart monitors to listen to Brooklynn and did blood work and everything came back normal. I had to do a 24 hr urine test and they came back midly elevated.

I didn't go to work Tuesday but went back Wednesday and started working and then had my blood pressure checked and it was 144/96 so one of the medical assistants, and a good friend of mine, demanded that I go lay down for an hour and check it again. She wouldn't let me get up at all and they checked it in an hr and it was still high so we called the dr and he told me to go home and be on bed rest and watch it and see him on Friday so I went to my parents and borrowed their blood pressure machine so I could monitor it. Later that night I checked it and it had got up to 149/102 so we called the dr and he told us to go to labor and delivery to have another non stress test and I ended up getting steroid injections to help Brooklynn's lungs develop in case she has to be delivered early. And we had to go back the following night for repeat blood work and another shot.

We had an appt today and my blood pressure was fine when I woke up but when I had it checked at the office it was elevated again so he has put me on bed rest until Brooklynn comes and I have to go back in for another non stress test either Sunday or Monday and if my numbers start to creep up even when I'm resting the dr said there's 100% chance we will have a baby by the end of this year. So I am trying my very hardest to just lay in bed and read, watch movies and eventually will start cross stitching again. I want Brooklynn to stay in as long as she can so I am being watched very carefully by Robbie and people at work.

In all of this I have realized how blessed we are. We weren't able to get ahold of the bishop in our new ward to help with a blessing but because the hospital is so close to our old ward we were able to call our home teacher and he came without hesitation. We have made some really close friends in that area so that will help if we need anything while we're down in Orem! We have great family that has been checking up on us and helping however they can! I am just amazed at the outpouring of love! People at my work have been checking on me constantly. I just feel so loved!!! Thanks for all your prayers and well wishes and I will try to update the blog as much as possible....I guess I better go lay down now......

Latest Project

2011-12-13T17:10:00.000-08:00

The picture of the whole cross stitch

How far I've got so far

When I was in IL I came across this cross stitching pattern for an amazing deal!!!! Robbie had told me he wanted me to cross stitch a picture of Christ for him and so I couldn't pass up on this. I got it in March but I didn't start working on it until September (procrastination on my part) and since then I have been working on it pretty much every spare change I get. I should've documented how many hours it's been but I haven't. I think it's turned out pretty cool! Robbie gives me 10 years to finish it but I'm hoping to have it done before then!! I feel like if I'm not working on it I'm losing time but then there are other days that I just can't focus on the pattern and stuff! I'll put pics up as it progresses!

We Moved!!!

2011-12-09T17:08:00.000-08:00

Well on November 28th (Robbie's birthday) we got almost everything moved out of our house in Orem! It was our last night there. We had about 20 people from the ward there to help us pack the truck up which was a lifesaver. I wasn't able to lift anything (Robbie's orders) so the guys lifted everything and the women helped finish the kitchen up. We were done with loading everything up within an hour!! I kept asking Robbie, "did everyone show up because they were anxious for us to be gone or did they show up because they loved us??" I know the answer to it but I just had to give him/us a hard time!!! We loved/cherished the time we were in that neighborhood and am grateful for all the friendships we have made! We were there for almost 3 yrs! I have to admit...as I was driving away I started crying. I didn't know what exactly our next adventure would be like...what would it be like with Robbie's grandparents?....would we get into our own routine?....would it be harder to drive a little longer to work?... How would the new ward be?......The unknowns are always hard....I HATE change and this was a HUGGGEEEE change!

Here we are 2 weeks later and I am so grateful that Robbie's grandparents have opened their home to us. We have our own entrance, we come and go as we please, we have our own bathroom, we get to spend time with his grandparents or if we want to be left alone we just go downstairs. The travel to work hasn't been too bad. I'm not a morning person at all (I have gotten a little better) and so instead of waking up at 7:15 we have to leave by 7:15 I thought that would be really hard but I've adjusted well (maybe that's why I'm so exhausted though by the end of the night lol)!! I now drop Robbie off at work and then pick him up when I'm done so he ends up getting more hours. I've enjoyed the time I get to spend with Robbie in the mornings and evenings to and from work.

I know there's still A LOT more change coming but this transition has gone pretty smooth. I just can't believe that Brooklynn will be here in a month in a half (maybe sooner). My pregnancy has gone by so fast (so many people have told me that) and I am so glad and saddened at the same time! I enjoy the times that she has hiccups and I can feel her kicking me and I know that will be gone soon. But pretty soon I will get to hold my little girl in my arms and just take it all in. I will then be called a mother....which I have wanted for 30 years! We were able to get all of her stuff set up so it seems a little more real that she is actually coming...I think I'm still in shock/denial that I really will have a child of my own....but I am excited beyond words!!!

We are so grateful for all of our friends and family that have got us to where we are!! We have been blessed to have some amazing people in our lives!!!!