Chainsaw Buffet Articles

Tequila Lime Habanero Chili...of DEATH!

The Chef — Sun, 05 Jul 2009 03:57:56 GMT

The Chef shares his recipe for tequila-lime-habanero chili. Bet you never thought you'd actually see a real recipe on a site called "Chainsaw Buffet", right?

Glinda the Good Witch Dies; CNN Fails

The Chef — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 20:48:47 GMT

Heaven only knows that the most important news of the day is a dead child-molesting fruitcake, and there's nothing else going on in the world. The Chef examines CNN (and by extension, the rest of the media)'s failure to understand what really matters.

MTAC 2009: The Man Power - "Blitzkrieg Bop"

The Maitre d' — Wed, 06 May 2009 05:00:00 GMT

The Man Power perform a cover of "Blitzkrieg Bop" at their unplugged show at MTAC Ninja.

MTAC 2009: Scenes from a Line

The Maitre d' — Wed, 06 May 2009 01:31:16 GMT

A short vignette of interesting people encountered in a line at MTAC.

Will Dylan Eat It: Edible Easter Grass

The Maitre d' — Mon, 04 May 2009 05:00:00 GMT

It's not as horrifying as the Jones Soda Holiday Pack or Dollar Tree Mallow Candy, but it's... interesting... in it's own right.

MTAC 2009: The Notorious MSG

The Maitre d' — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 18:15:27 GMT

So I've finally started getting around to editing the video from MTAC. There's more to come. For now, enjoy this message from the Notorious MSG.

Real-Time Review: Caprica

The Chef — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 02:33:49 GMT

The Chef turns his steely Cylon eye on Caprica as it runs and shares his thoughts. Hey, it can't possibly be worse than season 4 of BSG turned out...or can it?

Live from MTAC 2009: The Man Power, The Notorious MSG, and The Slants

The Maitre d' — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 05:22:49 GMT

Possibly the single largest guest list we've ever had. The members of The Man Power, The Notorious MSG, and The Slants sit down with John, Charlie, and Dylan at Middle Tennessee Anime Convention to talk about their music, anime, and other important matters.

Live from MTAC: Sonny Strait

The Maitre d' — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 19:11:46 GMT

Charlie gets a short... um, interview?... with Sonny Strait, the voice of Maes Hughes and Krillin.

Live from MTAC: Thursday Night

The Maitre d' — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 06:30:37 GMT

Charlie, Dylan, and John sit down for a few minutes and discuss driving, press passes, and almost dying in a tornado. Fun times... fun times.

MTAC Thursday Pics - The Storm

The Sommelier — Fri, 03 Apr 2009 05:08:05 GMT

The storm in this situation is at times literal and at times metaphorical. Deep, deep stuff.

Tom's Anger

The Sommelier — Mon, 23 Mar 2009 02:21:41 GMT

Eleanor saw the knife sitting there on the kitchen counter. She only saw one way to stop Gerald from finishing that soup.

A Visitor's Guide to The Strip

The Waitress — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 05:00:00 GMT

Near the University of Tennessee in Knoxville, exists a length of road referred to as "The Strip." More often than not, it suffers a crippling douche bag/drunken slut infestation. This brief list will prepare you for what to expect should you ever find yourself visiting The Strip.

Racism Is Alive And Well - In Al Sharpton's Mind, Anyway

Jimmy the Squid — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 13:59:20 GMT

Jimmy the Squid, Chainsaw Buffet's presidential-candidate-in-exile/political commentator/renegade sushi, provides more breathtaking insight into the news of the day: the infamous New York Post cartoon that points out how much of a monkey Al Sharpton is.

Twilight Valentine's Day Cards

The Maitre d' — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 05:00:00 GMT

Want to let that special someone know that you're peering in their window, silently watching them sleep every night? Here's how!

Eat The Worm

The Maitre d' — Wed, 11 Feb 2009 04:58:03 GMT

Catching up. John and 15-year-old anime women. Legal woes of pix messaging. WoW jumps the shark? Everyone but Dylan agrees: Fallout 3 and Fable II suck. Tequila worm suckers. Wasabi tastes like bee stings. Second Life has a point? CAT EDIT! Playstation Home: beware of gay German dudes. Another round of XBox 360 vs. PS3. XNA: neat idea, but lots of crap. Porn spam on the work phone. Torgo is on vacation. Affirmative Action patch notes. Outliers.

Hey, Remember When Battlestar Galactica Didn't Suck?

The Chef — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 12:48:30 GMT

After finishing off season 4.0 of Battlestar Galactica, the Chef reminisces about a time when the show was about real people instead of mystic visions and shit. Warning: BIG FAT FRACKING SPOILERS. ELLEN TIGH IS A FRACKING CYLON!

Our feeds have moved

The Maitre d' — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 16:59:21 GMT

Subscribing to our feeds via that newfangled RSS crap all the kids are using? Well, you better update your reader-thingamajig before they stop working.

Fun with Search Terms, 1/7/2009

The Maitre d' — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 03:13:26 GMT

Web stats: simultaneously horrifying you by revealing what search engines think your site is about... and also revealing what people actually search for.

Love in the Time of Fable II

The Maitre d' — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 05:00:00 GMT

The Maitre d' gets Fable II for Christmas and uses it as a place to play out all of his hangups and repression.

What the Fuck Happened to the Future?

The Chef — Sat, 27 Dec 2008 18:58:23 GMT

At one point in time, everyone predicted that by the end of the 21st century's first decade, we'd have a shiny new future of flying cars, personal jet-packs, and robotic servants. Instead, in 2009 we have a global economic meltdown and an internet full of porn. Where the fuck did we go wrong?

Chainsaw Buffet at Kajonk-A-Con 2008

The Maitre d' — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 01:56:02 GMT

Yes, it's late and the audio quality likely leaves something to be desired, but here it is: our episode recorded at Kajonk-A-Con 2008 in Knoxville, TN. We start out with our live podcast (where Chad drags in hapless congoers for witty repartee), and finish up with our interview with Damian Zannini, the organizer of KAC.

The Tale of William Morrison, Part the Deuce

The Chef — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 05:00:00 GMT

The Chef baits the hook for our scammer friend. Let's see how many hoops "William Morrison" will jump through. I'll bet he doesn't read this site.

The Kennedy Connection

Jimmy the Squid — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 14:39:04 GMT

Jimmy the Squid, Chainsaw Buffet's resident failed presidential candidate/political blogger/conspiracy theorist/hairdresser/blue-plate special, unveils the real reason Hillary Clinton got herself a place in the Obama administration.

A Tale of William Morrison, the Dumbest Scammer Ever

The Chef — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 03:07:28 GMT

The Chainsaw Buffet staff receives an email from what is possibly the dumbest ~~spammer~~ scammer ever. And no, he's not a Nigerian prince.