Ch@LLEnginG & SurprIsInG LIFe!!!

平凡

2012-01-12T01:45:00.003+08:00

不甘平凡仍平凡，
正如于镜前画眉，
面无改容如从前，
阿难多闻不正修，
镜花岁月无如实，
实心实地实心地,
脸上污垢抹去了。

以为

2011-12-03T01:27:00.000+08:00

是人是心是山是水是日是月？实其如人饮水冷暖而自晓；非树非木非风非沙非花非草，如人之三急何时欲解自知。

给佛陀的一封信

2011-05-31T02:27:00.001+08:00

致佛陀：

学佛这么多年来，以往都看不见自己的问题以及习气。写这封‘信函’是弟子实在是心有愧疚。因为弟子虽为佛弟子而不受教，而且逃避。其实毕竟几年已经过去，弟子也就逃避了至少3年了。这么一举是在感恩当初我的恩师（学佛以及人生路上的良师益友），当天的那么一喝其实我现在才稍微开始醒觉。因为弟子经已逃避无数次的不敢面对一个有问题的自己。

弟子确实愚痴，因而萌起退失心，自觉自己不该是佛弟子。因为佛弟子这称号对弟子来说，担子非常重。非大丈夫所为。从以往对求佛宣法的热心的自己，至今竟然能够内心虽知道该举是不如法而又随喜。一切东西往内心推，光明顿失。虽然以往的弟子不是任何智者，
如今回首其实看看自己也是那么的贡高我慢。因而决定又把许多东西往内心里推，造成了一位从‘发言者’变成了一位‘无言者’。现在发觉这只是逃避，把习气问题辅藏而已。其实前者与后者都不如法，前者因法执着而由法生慢，后者放下‘法执着’而把习气放大。前后都乃偏激之举。前者的自己用出世间法来包装自己，后者却又用世间法来包装。很多很多时候，有往内心往里推去了。看见穿上海青，有的披上了它，能够精进求正；有的披上了它，同时也披上了一份更加我慢的衣服。弟子正是后者，因而选择逃避去学更多的，深怕自己继续我慢。佛学弟子不愿意分享，梵呗法器其实也不愿去学。逃避去寻找更多‘知道’，逃避去寻找更多‘了解’？佛陀，弟子知道这是很愚痴的行为。这一切，仍然只是逃避去面对自己的问题，无法根究。由于以往都觉得自己对的，后很多东西就以‘我应该是错的’的信念盖下去，没有真正去求解。如今一层又一层的不解铺上来。方法错了，应该是错了？六祖大师云：直心是道场，相信我以前那么的横冲直撞或妄大直言也开罪了不少朋友以及家人。后就觉得应该少说话为妙，而把想法都吞进肚子里头了。治标不治本。还是逃避。

师兄说，“ 学佛的我，用佛法来包装自己，乍看之下似乎美满，但那只是包装。弟子一直都会逃避而已，从来都没有真正解决到问题。那么一眨眼，3年过去了，3年放纵的自己能够回家吗？不想不想逃避了。能否回头依靠觉，正，净吗？也许现在习气大到自己不能看不到了，看见自己实在是千万个摇头。

如今弟子，该如何面对自己？这篇文章一旦弟子按上传，就应该放下以及面对无论是以前还是现在的自己。纵使承认自己是多么的丑陋，弟子如今希望净心，找会自自己。只是内心的污垢如千斤，如何把内心的污垢全部去除？找回自己？外观纵使有多么的光彩，内心仍然是不安的。

学佛的师兄们，我就是一个坏的例子，切勿学习。望各位正在学佛的路途上，虽然有多艰辛，犹如光明遇见黑暗的时候，把自己的弱点照到极点。千万不要逃避，逃避只是会让自己的内心上多了一层霉。因为你的习气没有处理好。一直一直收，藏，盖，只会让自己更为迷失。也许这是很简单的道理，大家都明了。我生性愚痴我慢迟钝，如火宅里的小孩般，烧到衣角了还在玩火。

我曾经一度想把这部落格的每一篇文章都删除，并开始新的部落格。像征着我从新开始我的人生。但经过几番思考，觉得这么一举是出自什么心态？是我真的想掀开人生的新一页还是我内心给自己‘逃避’赐予新的名词而已？因为发生了的一切，不会因此而没发生。尽管人生的滋味有多甜酸苦辣，都必须面对。让自己重生不是忘记过去，而是面对问题，活在当下。往事也许不堪回首，但前车可鉴。习气顽固，还是要去除。

希望佛菩萨加持。阿弥陀佛。

弟子，贤康上

昨日。今日

2011-05-05T06:17:00.001+08:00

昨日种种昨日去，不晓得现在的自己是否还是以前的自己。其实我确实已经迷失了。
那个自己是本身的自己吗？一切一切的变实在令人畏惧。何时找到自己？

今日种种的追求，其实是我本身想要的吗？

认不清，
不知道，
空悲切。

说真的，我真想能够静下来。重新认识自己。

Progress

2011-05-04T07:53:00.001+08:00

EU law- not that complex after all, wonder why i hated it so much last time. Easy and straight forward. History, Direct& Indirect & State Liability, Judicial Review, FMG, FMP, Fundamental Rights .

Company law - An interesting subject but really hard to score.Constitution, Corporate Veil, Agency, Director duties, and insolvency, minority protection.

Sale of Goods - I think i have quite a fair understanding on implied terms, exclusion clauses, nemo dat and agency. Shouldnt be a problem.

Human Rights- Right to life, Torture, Expression, Discrimination, Right to family life, Not too bad also.

I think a second upper is not that far away from me. I just need to read and i will be fine. I will keep my fingers crossed. Hoping everything goes really well.

2011-04-05T12:30:00.000+08:00

People might be not believing me that I'm really scared and worried with my progress in studies.It is nothing but a truism, and you must throw your trust upon me. Even now, I'm still in the 3rd class progress.

Thinking of my parents contributing their efforts sending me here in UK, I really cannot bear the consequences of failing my degree. Everyday, every moment and every seconds I will think about them.People might be not believing me that I'm really scared and worried with my progress in studies.It is nothing but a truism, and you must throw your trust upon me. Even now, I'm still in the 3rd class progress.

Thinking of my parents contributing their efforts sending me here in UK, I really cannot bear the consequences of failing my degree. Everyday, every moment and every seconds I will think about them.

One of the toughest

2011-04-04T07:04:00.001+08:00

Have you ever felt like giving up, but you are left with no choice?

I really cannot stand reading up EU law that it is just so not my thing! I will need to pass all my subjects at least with an average of 60%, which means a 2:1 result. My spirit has been tarnished ever since I come over to this University. God knows why am I choosing this university when everyone knows its toughness aside from its glorious achievement globally. I should have chosen more low-ranked university instead of getting myself stuck in a position, like now? In the scheme of things, if I get through, I'll have better chances when I step into this realistic society.

I've never regretted choosing law as my path. However, sometimes. Things just so happened that I will have to confront subjects that I dislike the most. You know what is even more ironic? I chose them. My confidence level is no longer at the optimal level, and now I do everything with no even single faith on myself. Everything is just so not up to the par yet, and I'm seriously not ready for it.

Having said that, I know I'll definitely be going to strike down the amount of faiths they have on me. My parents, especially. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh...........no one can lend me a hand for now, as I know, it is only me. I can rescue myself.

Lesson: Don't ever choose things that you're lacking interest on.

Have you ever felt like giving up, but you are left with no choice?

I really cannot stand reading up EU law that it is just so not my thing! I will need to pass all my subjects at least with an average of 60%, which means a 2:1 result. My spirit has been tarnished ever since I come over to this University. God knows why am I choosing this university when everyone knows its toughness aside from its glorious achievement globally. I should have chosen more low-ranked university instead of getting myself stuck in a position, like now? In the scheme of things, if I get through, I'll have better chances when I step into this realistic society.

I've never regretted choosing law as my path. However, things just so happened that I will have to confront subjects that I dislike the most. You know what is even more ironic? I chose them. My confidence level is no longer at the optimal level, and now I do everything with no even single faith on myself. Everything is just so not up to the par yet, and I'm seriously not ready for it.

Having said that, I know I'll definitely be going to strike down the amount of faiths they have on me. My parents, especially. Arghhhhhhhhhhhh...........no one can lend me a hand for now, as I know, it is only me. I can rescue myself.

Lesson: Don't ever choose things that you're lacking interest on.

It is time

2011-04-02T11:18:00.001+08:00

JH, it is really the time for you to do something.

Startlingly, unwittingly, it has been almost 8months of me hitting the ground in UK.

Very surprisingly, exams are just around the corner, and I shall start my engine. I don't know how far can I go and how high could I achieve, but I do know this is the golden chance that's gifted by my beloved parents.

I will start doing something,

It is one month 13days from the exams henceforth. Get ready my friends! I might have left quite behind, but I believe I can make it. Another miracle is coming !!! :)

Junhong,

0% progress of four subjects at 2nd April 2011JH, it is really the time for you to do something.

Startlingly, unwittingly, it has been almost 8months of me hitting the ground in UK.

Very surprisingly, exams are just around the corner, and I shall start my engine. I don't know how far can I go and how high could I achieve, but I do know this is the golden chance that's gifted by my beloved parents.

I will start doing something,

It is one month 13days from the exams henceforth. Get ready my friends! I might have left quite behind, but I believe I can make it. Another miracle is coming !!! :)

Junhong,

0% progress of four subjects at 2nd April 2011

莫名。梦

2011-04-01T23:20:00.001+08:00

金刚经云：“一切有为法，,如夢幻泡影,如露亦如電,應作如是觀。”

这个月，我连续发了两个梦，同时都与离世有关的。

其中一个梦是我自己，当时自己可能已经是中阴身，不晓得自己的离去。在我家人身旁呐喊呐喊，却无人问津。
当时的我立刻警觉自己已经非人身了，于是我一直想要让妈妈知道我的离去。
非常巧妙，我的呐喊妈妈听见了，她可是多么的伤心，而我就于旁安慰。
当自己的心愿完成后，其实我也不晓得自己飞到了那里。
后来，我就醒过来了。

另外，就刚刚而已，我确又梦见我的其中一位兄弟的离去。姓名不方便透露。
他是我从小学便认识的并一起发心修学的仁者。
在梦中，我隐隐约约的看到了他的葬礼，助念的声音不绝于耳。
后来，他的魂魄到来了英国。

阿弥陀佛。希望他一切安好。望佛菩萨能加持于他，让他菩提心不断，早日成就。

愿力

2011-03-24T10:49:00.000+08:00

以往的我，
因为愿，
而所能。

如今的我，
因无愿，
而无能。

这不是一时意气之话，也无有任何事情发生导致这句话的存在。
反复的反省，
发觉愿力是那么的珍贵，
虽然因为它，
波折不断，
但失去后，
不知往哪里寻？

不晓得自己的心是几时退转的，
也许,
自己无有定力，
要有事与人非，
纵知好事多磨，
却又无法坚持。

说句真话，
吾乃愚人，
明知山有虎，
偏向虎山行。

我是执着人，
纵有忠言，
仍然亦耳，
亦所以愚。

如今，
哪儿寻心已不重要，
了解初心以及愿力的珍贵，
非泛泛之辈而能发之，
而能舍己为人。

自己的心虽然不再，
亦愿扶持有愿的人，
让菩提心能而持之，
发菩提而广度众生。

有愿人，
请坚强，
请自爱，
爱己心，
而爱人。

赞叹诸佛菩萨的大愿。

阿弥陀佛。

Dying

2011-03-14T07:47:00.002+08:00

Its 14th March, I haven get my SGA assignment started yet. The deadline on 21st March.....

Clueless on how should i start doing this?

独身在威尔斯。英国

2011-03-12T22:43:00.000+08:00

发觉,

以往在人群中的我，

总被冠上思想成熟；

如今，

我独身在外，

却发觉自己是那么的幼稚，

思想可是那么的欠缺成熟。

发觉，

以往在温室里时候，

总觉得缺乏灌溉并多有不忿；

如今，

我独身离家，

却发觉自己昔日乃宠儿，

实在幸福。

发觉，

以往在校园当中，

鹤立鸡群实常事，

多么的注重成败，

如今，

我眼帘窗前，

发觉自己多方面的不具足，

是非成败已成风。

发觉，

才知道以往看不到自己，

自己还有很多必须亲生经历，

才会真正的发觉自己。

昔日善财五十三参，

秉持虚心礼敬诸佛，

能放下而称赞如来，

往昔观音已成就果，

又现广大圆融诸相，

仍是以诸相现无相，

还执着吗？还执着；

还我慢吗？还我慢；

还自私吗？还自私；

还贪心吗？还贪心；

还动嗔吗？还动嗔；

还愚痴吗？还愚痴；

懂自己吗？不懂己；

看清吗？不会看何来清？

你知道自己吗？找到自己吗？

《呼吁重视生态祈祷文》

2011-03-12T03:47:00.000+08:00

《呼吁重视生态祈祷文》－萨迦法王

广大无边实相中，佛陀莲师莲花手，

度母以及众本尊，三宝总集诸尊前，

吾以至诚虔祈请，以尊大悲利众心，

摄受我等诸有情。

＊＊＊

皆因邪念恶行为，摧毁多劫福德命，

沈溺五毒浊恶世，众生欠缺正善缘，

尊岂不转大悲心，摄受利益诸有情？

＊＊＊

贪图大地众资源，滥伐林木积罪衍，

五行水大已失调，众生深堕灾难谷，

恳请迅速悲救度。

＊＊＊

无数机械助贪渎，无限开采众矿藏，

诸天众水及陆地，鬼神居所皆失衡，

恳请圣尊赐加持，缓和失调之五行。

＊＊＊

无数工厂排毒气，污云垄罩千万里，

举世颤抖之主因，前所未有之恶疾，

恳请圣尊赐加持，庇护世间免悲凄。

＊＊＊

欲壑渴海诚难填，人类粗暴损大千，

情器世间皆疮痍，四大失调丧自然，

恳请圣尊赐加持，五蕴平息免灾难。

＊＊＊

机器运载夜继日，地球暖化毒洒遍，

各处雪山纷融化，劫尽陆沉众海时，

恳请圣尊赐加持，护佑世间免沉沦。

＊＊＊

大气臭氧层遭损，焰阳辐射毒难忍，

皮肤病变无救药，恳请尊圣赐加持，

平息可怖世间害，只剩言说之流传。

＊＊＊

总之吾等现世界，肇因过去无边业，

如今人欲纵横流，此地疾速成荒漠，

恳请尊圣赐加持，过去所造诸恶业，

当下立地全止息。

＊＊＊

纵然情器世间苦，皆因无始贪嗔痴，

身语意造诸恶业，四大五蕴失和谐，

藉由法界真实力，三宝无欺加持力，

此祈祷文一切愿，吾祈一切皆成就。

If

2011-02-01T06:50:00.000+08:00

If only i can give up.

No way back but i've no guts to walk forward for now.

Journey continues

2011-01-31T08:51:00.001+08:00

From 18 December 2010 till 30th Jan 2011, it is surprisingly a very long holiday that I ever had in my 3 years of law studies. I would give myself a stern warning that I've been wasting too much of precious time whereby I could have used it and get myself amid mounds of books. It's my human rights law seminar tomorrow and no doubt it is a very interesting subject, but it requires a lot of commitments that you've to read voluminous of readings.

Quite recently, a dismay I have experienced that, frankly, I scored a pretty low mark for my formative assignment. In any case if you don't know what is a formative assignment, it is a non-assessed assignment that will not affect my final marks. Perhaps, I've been putting quite a high expectation on myself unwittingly by thinking myself quite a shrewd person? *beam*

Errrhummm, definitely not one of those who is facilitated with a high capability of thinking be it academically or practically. The hat being put on me simply, I think because I don't wish to let my parents down? Ever since small until now, my mum had been criticised by some of my relatives that she isn't good enough in educating her own children. I, then started generating a thought, that I'll make sure those words will be returned to them by proving I'll one day become a successful person. Yes, i always like to dream big. hahahahax. It is Res ipsa loquitur. The feeling was so strong that I felt like my skin was sloughed off. Start doubting my ability from that hour, that why choose a question that most of them won't answer. Am I, a venturous person or I really that confident? Delving and delving the truth behind it, be it whatever reasons I did so, I learnt a lesson. Being a law student, it's really pivotal to have to think out of the box. Without a shame to admit, I think I am still quite far away from becoming a competence law student. The question was asking to assess on Lord Diplock's dissenting judgement in a case, and i focused only on one particular dissenting judgement thinking it requires only that much. At least now that I'm aware of it, i can actually elaborate more. Why restraining myself to a tiny box? From 18 December 2010 till 30th Jan 2011, it is surprisingly a very long holiday that I ever had in my 3 years of law studies. I would give myself a stern warning that I've been wasting too much of precious time whereby I could have used it and get myself amid mounds of books. It's my human rights law seminar tomorrow and no doubt it is a very interesting subject, but it requires a lot of commitments that you've to read voluminous of readings.

Quite recently, a dismay I have experienced that, frankly, I scored a pretty low mark for my formative assignment. In any case if you don't know what is a formative assignment, it is a non-assessed assignment that will not affect my final marks. Perhaps, I've been putting quite a high expectation on myself unwittingly by thinking myself quite a shrewd person? *beam*

Errrhummm, definitely not one of those who is facilitated with a high capability of thinking be it academically or practically. The hat being put on me simply, I think because I don't wish to let my parents down? Ever since small until now, my mum had been criticised by some of my relatives that she isn't good enough in educating her own children. I, then started generating a thought, that I'll make sure those words will be returned to them by proving I'll one day become a successful person. Yes, i always like to dream big. hahahahax. It is Res ipsa loquitur. The feeling was so strong that I felt like my skin was sloughed off. Start doubting my ability from that hour, that why choose a question that most of them won't answer. Am I, a venturous person or I really that confident? Delving and delving the truth behind it, be it whatever reasons I did so, I learnt a lesson. Being a law student, it's really pivotal to have to think out of the box. Without a shame to admit, I think I am still quite far away from becoming a competence law student. The question was asking to assess on Lord Diplock's dissenting judgement in a case, and i focused only on one particular dissenting judgement thinking it requires only that much. At least now that I'm aware of it, i can actually elaborate more. Why restraining myself to a tiny box?

A trivial incident won't knock me down. I hope it makes me even stronger and tougher. As you all may have known, I'm quite a sentimental person. Well, it won't flush off my rationality, Few hours ago. I'm grateful that I managed to catch on a show named 'Superstar' made by Taiwan, a girl who has gone through many hurdles in her life and in chasing her dream, even though it would have been tough and dreadful, she nonetheless, overcomes those thorns and guess what, she won the contest with 'Listen'. I think what really touched us isn't her singing technique(it plays a role anyhow). She isn't really stable and as outstanding as some other singers. I think, her determination and her passion that is the real player behind it, which eventually touched the audiences Notmany years ago, She failed even at the first phrase in Malaysian Idol audition. If I were to be so easily knocked down, I seriously an epic failure to everyone who has faith on me. From this day forwards, slacking must be stopped and 3 more months until my final. I will have to resonate my ability. I could be a 'no one', one' but I will start measuring my progress. Perhaps as little as an inch a day, miles it will become, one day. A trivial incident won't knock me down. I hope it makes me even stronger and tougher. As you all may have known, I'm quite a sentimental person. Well, it won't flush off my rationality, Few hours ago. I'm grateful that I managed to catch on a show named 'Superstar' made by Taiwan, a girl who has gone through many hurdles in her life and in chasing her dream, even though it would have been tough and dreadful, she nonetheless, overcomes those thorns and guess what, she won the contest with 'Listen'. I think what really touched us isn't her singing technique(it plays a role anyhow). She isn't really stable and as outstanding as some other singers. I think, her determination and her passion that is the real player behind it, which eventually touched the audiences Notmany years ago, She failed even at the first phrase in Malaysian Idol audition. If I were to be so easily knocked down, I seriously an epic failure to everyone who has faith on me. From this day forwards, slacking must be stopped and 3 more months until my final. I will have to resonate my ability. I could be a 'no one', one' but I will start measuring my progress. Perhaps as little as an inch a day, miles it will become, one day.

Human Rights

1) Historical Background

2) HRA 1998

3) Art.2

4) Art.3

5) Art.8

6)Art.9

7)Art.10

8) Art.14

9) International Humanitarian law

Sale of Goods

1) Introduction of Commercial Law

2) Scope of SGA 1979

3) Duty to Deliver and Acceptance

4) Passing of Risks and Frustration

5) Implied Term(S.13,13,14,15)

6) Exclusion Clause

7) Retention of Title

8)Nemo Dat Rule

9) Rule of Agency

Company Law

1) Introduction and Structures of Companies

2) Corporate personality

3) Company's consittution

4) Corporate Governance - an area which im quite keened on.

5) Director Duties

6)Director Duty of Care, skills and dilligence

7) Minority Rights

8) Insolvency

EU Law

1) Historical background of EU

2) Institution

3) Legislation - Directives, Regulation, Direct Effect and indirect effect and etc

4) Judiciary on preliminary rulings

5)Judicial Review

6)Internal Market

7) Free movement of goods

8) Citizenship

9) Free movement of person

10)Fundamental Rights

Wow.........and i'm dead.... >.<

Nostalgic season

2011-01-17T17:46:00.000+08:00

英国时间是2.41am, 听了一首佛曲后，令我辗转难眠。于是翻回一些佛曲，一首一首听在心理，煞是滋味。肚子也顽皮得响了。

善苗，是我离开马来西亚前学的一首歌。想起了他们，我的兄弟帮。

每当想起他们，不禁心酸，泪盈满眶。也许一直以来堆积的心结吧？

想起他们，眼睛也开始湿了。一直在想我是否应该把一切都写下来并按‘上传？

脑海里反复的画面，真令我睡不着啊。他们是我非常非常珍惜的一群。坦白来说，虽然口说兄弟帮，不晓得我在他们心目中是否也一样？无论如何，他们是我很珍惜的一般兄弟。这个缘分，也许他们觉得我不珍惜，但是确确实实离不开我的心。只能说，很多东西我已经不懂得表达了。很多也许是误会，也许不是。我自己也搞不清楚了，也算了。就这样过了又是几个年头了。我承认，我变了。只是，我不能不变啊？从中学中1起，那位傻小子，今日已经是最后1年法律系学生了。我也从也为常常辩驳的小子到了今天觉得很多东西是不说的好？至少我也学会了忍，到现在，自问忍功真的进步不少。我不想伤和气，直到有一次，我顶撞伟峰哥关于过年拜年事宜的。

我的朋友都很惊讶，为什么？他们对我来说如此重要。我很铁定的说：“因为他们，我学会了很多很多东西。‘ 对于我的朋友们来说，都不意外而然。他们都说：“这些东西都没什么啊？尽管他们没有教，迟早我都会领会到的。” 但他们不明白，正是因为他们，无论是谁，我都深表感激的。缘分就如此安排让他们成为我生命中的重要的一部分。无论对于他们是有多么的不满或许感概，因为这一点的恩，我都吞到今天。如果你要问我，这点恩情真是无比浩荡。没有他们，现在的我不知道会是一个怎么样的我？

其中一位老死也比较会挖我心，直提起他们，泪流无数次了。只因他们对我来说，真的很重要。虽然现在地理上疏远了，其实我觉得心理上也都疏远了。这是我觉得非常惋惜的。

在我离开马来西亚前，直到我让他们才知道我当天就飞了，国哥方约我出来。跟他们最后一次聚餐，我真的心有不舍。当天去见他们，全家人都几乎不让我出因为多几小时就要离开家里了。我婆婆又问了：”哪里有人要离开会自己去找人家聚会的？有心的，就去送你啦，常常见你去送机，怎么现在你飞了，没人来送你啊？“这些话，我都听习惯了。我只好又帮他们说话了。其实，有很多状况就是这样的，刚好天时地利人和不具足，家人又有意见。又或是，也因天时地利人和不足，兄弟们也有意见了。很难解释。同时，我飞机场里头在想，可能自己付出得不够吧？只单纯的希望，能够是大家的兄弟。哈哈，也许我这么一想真会让人觉得我不成熟。

今年我将会回马，开始考法律文凭。时间更是不对，上课都是在周六和周日的。肯能是迁就上班族的关系吧。不晓得大家会如何疏远？所以不禁感触的在面子书传上了《尘恋》这首歌词。

人难来人易去，走遍千山来到这里

或许前世曾相遇，今生再与你相聚

来亦来去亦去，人来人去随缘散聚

对尘世一份执迷，只好反复来又去

我知道我生在此岸，我只是一个过客

我知道我赤着手来，也将空着手儿去

我知道我生在此岸，我只是一个过客

我知道我赤着手来，也将空着手儿去。

如果有一天大家疏远了，也许这是缘分。只希望不会闹得不欢而散就好。

我临走前，依然把课诵本和海清带上行李。

也许在大家心目中，我不是大家的理想同修或兄弟。但是，我还是珍惜大家。

我会学习，希望有一天能够真正成为佛弟子。

Emo够了，是时候睡啦。

期待

2011-01-12T03:11:00.000+08:00

法律系最后1年了，虽然还没考试，但我一直期待着来着的毕业典礼。这虽然意味着离开我梦想更加接近了，其实还蛮遥远的。今年我感觉无比的压力，原因是,我感觉自己对于第3年的科目还不上手（脑）。当然，朋友们都说我想太多也许之前的成绩还不错的关系。但我希望大家都能够了解，最后的成绩只看今年而已。尽管你之前考得多好，都完全是过去式。讲师们对我的期望确实让我烦恼，感觉如果自己令他们失望，都不敢到学院去见他们了。另外，我不想因为之前的成绩让自己松懈下来。

我很期待，这个7月22日，父母亲的到来。我很希望能够看见他们脸上的笑容。很希望他们多年来的栽培终于成果了，非常希望让他们看见这棵小苗的叶子一片一片的长了出来。只能祈祷那些叶子不会是枯黄的。古人常言，为博红颜一笑，然而，我这些年来努力的，就只为他俩老的一笑。

我非常期待自己开始踏入社会赚钱，悠然记得，哪年的哪一天，我对自己说：如果有一天我能够赚钱了，第1份薪水的90%一定要奉献给父母。不晓得那一天会在几时呢？

非常感谢佛菩萨加持，让我走到现在。我所愿的都真的如愿了。朋友们，别认为这是迷信。这倒是我之前发的愿力而这股愿力之被我父母亲持着，可能这个感恩的心创造了奇迹了吧？ Law of attraction? 无论如何，路还是很漫长，无论期间我到了高峰，那还不是终点。路仍然必须继续走下去。到了高峰，不能不舍得下坡或一味享受高峰的荣耀而忽略走更长远的路。

感恩。谢谢。期待。

小小鸟的小余

2011-01-11T22:05:00.000+08:00

在很多人眼中，我也许是一只小小小小鸟。甚至是一只发育不健全的小鸟。

也许我曾经幼稚，不懂事以及天真，不是我不成长。只是比好多人慢。以往的我常常抱怨父母对于我过于的呵护，以致我现在的无知。然而，当我在看他们的时候，却忘了看自己。他们照顾我是尽责，然而我自己若不争取成长的机会也是我的失责。

回首过去，我发觉我太多投诉了，对于很多东西有太多的不满。也忘了，自己是可以改变的。所以错的都是在别人的身上。也许也制造了朋友们，兄弟们，家人对我的不满。与其投诉，倒不如去寻找解决方案？因此，我学会‘忍’。渐渐的，我学会‘笑’。佛菩萨所在之处皆令人欢喜。我常常想要让人开心，却让人以为我是虚伪的。尽管如此，我坚持。为何当我真心对待人时，却被人标为伪君子？但是，我也不能理太多。我在学习，学习处事待人。人所在处就有是非。逃不了的。

也许我：
1）太笨
2）粗心
3）优柔寡断

但是，我可以说，从以前至今，我真心对人，尽量不要伤害人。（对于这点，我很肯定）

请那些看小我的人，记住自己当初因为什么而看小我。因为，我会让你眼前一亮！我很小，但是我的心不会比你小。

我相信，我有一天会飞上青天的。

谢谢我所认识的人，你们对我来说都是佛菩萨，都在教育我。

Nostalgic

2011-01-02T17:42:00.000+08:00

There it passed, the great 2010.

Just feel really grateful for what i am having now.

Thanks to my parents, my respectful dad. We didnt really communicate much but i still feel his cares toward me. My lovely mother, who had, though, soothed me with cold water at times but her sacrifices are res ipsa loquitor. Both of you make a really great parents.I'm exceptionally touched. When both of you have done your part excellently, i do also hope i can do my part very well too.

To me, both of you are my god. Both of you are the lord buddha.

Thank you for everything.

Will

2010-12-16T07:17:00.000+08:00

People who loves me, tend also to hate me.
I seem to know why, but i really dont know if you ask me.

I'll seriously think if there's something really wrong with me.
Sorry for everything as i might be doing something out of sense.
Thousand apologies.....

Cheers.

Fear

2010-11-19T10:09:00.000+08:00

Usually, i have my post really long winded.

I'm indeed in a fearful state as i know by judging my performance now, i am in a 3rd class range. Let alone as hoped by my lecturers, a first class? No way....Logically make it no sense at all. I am writing this down since i found no one who can really understand my feelings or maybe some.

Its my final year. At times, i even thought of regretting to enter this school, well reputation nonetheless it gives me hard time. I am afraid. I'm just afraid.

If i cant make it, i will let them down.....at the same time, i dont feel myself in the right track.....

Me.Them.It

2010-10-22T11:26:00.002+08:00

Here is 'me',

As I always be, an absolute dreamer. It's me.

I must express,

Telling it is 'me' has got no representation of 'egoistic',

Nor will it be a self centralist.

Dubiously,

Answer why is that case,

Without realising who are we makes no difference but a living corpse.

The juncture I have met,

In many ways has expanded my dreaming capability,

Living in a dream doesn't neglect one's rationalism;

Whereas eliciting more hopes coupled with logicalness,

It is propounded nothing but a trite life,

Having lived without a dream.

Here is It,

The Lex Legum Baccalaureus,

A high hill I am climbing,

Erroneously crowds have represented their views,

A suit who may have been too tight a try,

It therefore, draws a wistful smile on me.

Fiat justitia, ruat caelum,

Joyful and challenging it must be averred ,

A gaze, I maybe gained from most,

Obligation I will bear to soothe all:

It is a truth, nonetheless.

Rebutment plausibly unearthed in my previous post,

That nothing's called a truth,

The de facto is,

My true feeling,

Amused by the craft of the brilliant judges,

Making the law interestingly presented,

A delight I have obtained,

The Stare Decisis.

It is 'Them',

Amid all importantly their existence,

Clamour i may have made at the erstwhile,

Trully their efforts making all feasible,

A sumptuous gift I have received.

Having my feet on Cardiff,

Feeling how concrete the ground is,

The way i made it here,

because of 'them' and the lovely 'it'.

Here is 'me',

As I always be, an absolute dreamer. It's me.

I must express,

Telling it is 'me' has got no representation of 'egoistic',

Nor will it be a self centralist.

Dubiously,

Answer why is that case,

Without realising who are we makes no difference but a living corpse.

The juncture I have met,

In many ways has expanded my dreaming capability,

Living in a dream doesn't neglect one's rationalism;

Whereas eliciting more hopes coupled with logicalness,

It is propounded nothing but a trite life,

Having lived without a dream.

Here is It,

The Lex Legum Baccalaureus,

A high hill I am climbing,

Erroneously crowds have represented their views,

A suit who may have been too tight a try,

It therefore, draws a wistful smile on me.

Fiat justitia, ruat caelum,

Joyful and challenging it must be averred ,

A gaze, I maybe gained from most,

Obligation I will bear to soothe all:

It is a truth, nonetheless.

Rebutment plausibly unearthed in my previous post,

That nothing's called a truth,

The de facto is,

My true feeling,

Amused by the craft of the brilliant judges,

Making the law interestingly presented,

A delight I have obtained,

The Stare Decisis.

It is 'Them',

Amid all importantly their existence,

Clamour i may have made at the erstwhile,

Trully their efforts making all feasible,

A sumptuous gift I have received.

Having my feet on Cardiff,

Feeling how concrete the ground is,

The way i made it here,

because of 'them' and the lovely 'it'.

The Carpenter

2010-07-03T21:04:00.000+08:00

At times, we called it, 'the hammer'. Over the decades most of us reading law, graduated, retired from legal profession and we still calling it, the hammer. Howsoever it being sheepishly sounds when all of us 'named' it as the hammer on the hand of a judge, we may all be surprised. Commonly, at least, amongst my friends, it triggers no curiosity on why would a profound judge holding a 'hammer' when he is not fixing any wooden furnitures. It may be well understood if we trace back to the history of it, it is used in medieval era of England for the purpose to settle agreements of land. In fact, it is called 'Gavel'.

The sound of gavel signifies a decision made and no changes shall be made. The concept of it not only been practiced by England but The Great China in its memorable empires. Though it did not exist in 'hammer' nonetheless it meant the same. The judges, no matter in which country, in what form they practice or in what way the used the hammer. They are indeed,in my perception, the carpenter. Any defective wooden furnitures is to be fixed by them. They have various tools and at the very moment, they might even need to be creative enough so get the defective wooden stuffs fixed and it can be nicely seen. This is how a carpenter should be? If it ever not been properly repaired? Complains and dissatisfaction hence arisen. As Lord Hewart CJ expressed in R v Sussex Justices exparte McCarthy [1924] 1 KB 256 :

"...It is not merely of some importance, but is of fundamental importance that justice should not only be done, but should manifestly and undoubtedly be seen to be done..."

Having said that, the judges roles is vital and it is opined that the gavel is thousand times heavier than the usual hammer, psychologically. Their great lordships are burdened with such an obligation to make sure all the wooden made furnitures are all safe and quality assured. All tributes are nonetheless may not have gone to them. Each

gavel's sound, it indicates a decision made which need to take into consideration of policy, political pressure, and the interest of parties before them. Their decisions with a sound reasoning. Of course, people's view differs from time to time. Their view at the time it was decided may not applicable nowadays, outmoded laws. Mistakes are permissible but unlikely for them as judges. If once an unfavorable decisions made, it opens door to severe criticisms. For example, some brave judge with activist blood tends to create new laws, there it attracts negative comments in not respecting parliamentary supremacy. Some passivist judges whereas choose to stick with whatever decided, their hands are however tightened with precedent, similarly, it attracts criticism, too. However, it is to be noted, there can be more than one right answers towards single issue. All these criticisms, commentaries, dissenting judgement however makes law a lively one and would not have bored us, the law students. Whatever decisions made, credits and tributes can never left them.

It was not very long ago, where i think it was an interesting area in the study of law in my year one. This is a paper which i scored with distinction, common law reasoning and institution. I appreciated the chance of me studying this, especially dealing with judicial precedent and statutory interpretation, both are inter-linked. It was also few months ago, i had an intellectual discussion with a friend currently reading law in Oxford on whether a judge should create law to fix current problems or merely to apply the law. She is of the view that, the law itself is of non disputable as it is laid down black and white but the interpretation of each minds are disputed. That makes the law more complicated and uncertain. Anyway, i am still firmed on my perception where exceptions are needed. Lord Denning's creation of proprietary estopel and many others exceptions, undoubtedly, solved many problems.

Regardless, disputes has also relatively and have gradually increased due to these as this society is getting litigative when their rights are made conscious.

William Blackstone's view on judicial creativity is favorable for activists where law has not been created but merely to discover them. It remains dubious as to whether judicial creativity has create more troubles than settle disputes. The United Kingdom has got one characteristics, namely, the rule of law. Diceys postulates on it, where judges are the best protectors. Of course, the judges is supposedly to be fair minded and impartial. If the judges hand are so tight and bound by precedent and may have committed a conceptually wrong of judiciary where it results injustice. Would it then be unconstitutional? Having failed to perform justice, is definitely not the will of citizens, being put in such a cross road. What is their roles? Being the Carpenter, should have just fix whatever necessary as a Carpenter is not an inventor.

The common law started since time immemorial, by Henry Bracton( 1200-1268), he first laid down in latin phrase that :

'Si tamen similia evenerint, per simile judicentur, cum bona sit occasio a similibus procedere ad similia'.

It simply means, similar facts should result in similar ways, the spirit of stare decisis. It is said, judges are to do justice according to law and not doing justice by creating law. Practically, judges are now playing with words as its their expertise. In fact, purposive approach are getting popular by interpreting the words based on the 'intention' of the parliament.

Lord Coke stated:" ...it is the task of the judiciary in interpreting an Act to seek to interpret in 'according to the intent of [the parliament] that made it..."

This is what, doing justice according to 'law' which up to their discretion to interpret what did the parliament intended. In practical effect, at times, the standing of judges still prevails. The classic example would be, the decision in Vandervell v IRC, Grey v IRC and Oughtred v IRC.

The people's will stand. No?

Another phase of my life

2010-07-03T00:35:00.001+08:00

Hearsay

30th June 2010( Exactly 1 month remaining)

Overview:

My dearest classmates, honorably to announce, Digging a well when in need of water would be the best dress to suit on me at this contemporary moment. Doubtless, everyone of us can never runaway from viva test tomorrow unless you have any justified reasons(your justification).

'Justified'- in accordance to Cambridge English Dictionary, it simply means one to give a good reason. In Christian theology, 'justification' is God's act of declaring or making a sinner righteous before God. The concept of justification occurs in many books of the Old and New Testaments. In the eyes of Buddhism, it is opined where one has done something with no harm but to do good. Having such a long winded statement of me here might raise your thought of serving no point reading these when the heading states Hearsay. Be patience, it does lead you to a longer journey. However, whether one's reason is justified is to be looked and assessed by the relevant society. My point is, no matter how convincing you think your reasons were to be a justified one in your mind. It does not apply to our law school, if one were to stick that thought in his/her mind, its better to bring that mind to where you belonged to. This world is full with contradictions where all society's mind could be differ. Though a contradict one, it is a 'justified' one.

As per Myers(James William) v DPP[1965] AC 1001 ,Lord Reid in House of Lord expressed his perspective when it comes to the discussion of ' Too many of discretion of the courts which makes the law of hearsay being neither sufficiently clear nor at all predictable'. His Lordship stated where hearsay test has satisfied, the judges has no discretion but to exclude the evidence, no matter how cogent it seems to be. Likewise, in our case, no matter how convincing you are, the admin would at the higher likelihood on not to 'admit' your 'evidence'. We better get prepared then !

Regardless, it is imaginable to have anticipate or it needs not even to predict where we cannot ignore the obvious - we are all cracking on evidence books( of course pray hard so everything will be fine tomorrow). A large number of us are choosing burden of proof as their viva test topic on the very understandable ground that it is rather easy to grasp on as compared to hearsay. The inevitable nature of our life has resulted in one way by leaving us no way but to face it and this letting us getting used to it.Of course, it remains dubious whether we as the homosapiens are that optimistic.

Seeing the hands waving from the starting point, we shall back to our initial concern. It is said, when one has chosen hearsay as their topic, one must be showing the heroism. Nonetheless, it is definitely not at all my case, the reason of me choosing this topic is, this topic is as bulky but it is within our syllabus. Hence, i have made my mind on taking this viva test as my revision so my shoulder at least not so burdened.

Introduction

What is hearsay, the word itself may have already given us a first impression. In a layman language, you heard it somewhere and say it. Before going deeper to our discussion, one principle must first lay down as a foundation in our mind. In general, the court of law does not admit the evidence of hearsay ( HENCE, AN EXCLUSIONARY RULE). Fine, one contentious argument where we may have thought of, why would the court not admitting the hearsay statement even when it appears to be an imperative one? Wouldn't it abuse our right to a fair trial under Art.6 European Convention of Human Right ? Keep that thought floating in your mind first, it will soon be dealt with.

1.0- What is Hearsay?

First at all, what is hearsay in law? It can be found as defined in Sc. 121(2) in Criminal Justice Act 2003- CJA2003.

It reads, "hearsay for the purpose of that section as ' a statement not made in oral evidence, that is relied on as evidence of a matter stated in it." Yes, it does not speak much in this section where common law has a better definition.

A leading legal academician, Sir Rupert Cross has once stated,

"hearsay is an assertion other than one made by a person while giving oral evidence in the proceedings is inadmissible as evidence of any fact asserted."

This quote was latter used by Lord Havers in the land marked case of hearsay which is R v Sharp(Colin) [1988] 1 W.L.R 7 HL.Till now, this definition remains to be the influential and most quoted one when one dealing with hearsay.( It is now codified under CJA 2003) In short, any hearsay statements shall be excluded.

1.1 WHY CANNOT ADMIT?

Logically, how reliable is the hearsay statement? if it were to be classified to be that reliable and should be admissible, why would the seeking of evidence by the parties that is blatantly costly and time consuming when we can simply get any hearsay statement admitted? Every logical minded person would have that lies on their mind. Therefore, the court, the institute of reasoning, would at times not leaving one principle half hanged but with a rationale. Lord Normand sat in the case of Teper v R[1952] AC 480(PC), laid down the rationales behind it:

(a) It is not made under oath

(b) There cannot be cross examination

(c) Repetation is dangerous because ' Evidence of this kind may be fabricated'

* Byles J, R V Jenkins(1869) LR 1 CCR 187 - also stated the same as Lord Normand stated. In Lord Devlin's words, the danger of hearsay is that the juryman, unused to shifting evidence, might treat it as first hand.

In addition, even such an unreliable matter were to be admitted, its also go against the Golden Thread Rule in Woolmington v DPP, by Viscount Sankeywhere everyone is innocent unless proven guilty.

As Blackstonean maxims stated,

"its better that ten guilty persons escape, than that one innocent suffer."

It is to be noted, both Sharp and Teper are both decided prior to the Human Right Act 1998. It has been argued, this assumption may turn out to be completely erroneous and perhaps, out of date.

2.0. The Rule of Hearsay

Importantly, it is necessary to satisfy the test of hearsay in order to render the statements made as 'hearsay' if it successfully passed the test, it can be tendered as original evidence. Be cautious, at this stage, it is not an exception even though it is made as original evidence and admissible. It is admissible when it is NOT a hearsay.In considering of many issues, a general always follow by exceptions. Where the statement didnt pass the test of hearsay and proved to be a hearsay statement nonetheless admitted. As such, it can be classified as an exception. The current test is laid down in:

Subramanian v DPP[1956] 1 W.L.R 965(PC), it is commonly known as the two tiered test by Mr L.M D De Silva.

-FIRST: There must be a statement made out of court

( Patel v Comptroller of Customs [1966] AC 356 PC, Lord Hodson )

F: The defendant was charged with making a false entry in a Customs form about the provenance of begs of coriander seed,by untruthfully alleged they came from India when in fact there were marked as 'Produce of Morroco'. The prosecution wanted to tender the marks on the bags but it was held, since it is tendered for truth to prove it is not as alleged by the defendant. Therefore, it is a written out of court hearsay statement.

( Chandrasekera v R [1937] AC 220, statement made by gesture )

Another vital issue in regards with this issue, where an implied assertions are subjected to the rule of hearsay therefore inadmissible. R v Kearley - Someone came to the door asking for drugs and calls for drugs under s.115(3) to have the purpose of causing another to believe the matter. Birch argues its to be radical one.

However, it has been overruled by R v Singh(2006), Rose LJ in which an implied assertion no longer subjected to hearsay.

-SECOND: It must be tendered for its testimonial effect

( R v Sparks) - It is tendered for its truth where the 4 yo girl was assaulted, her mother took the statement where the girl told her the man is in coloured, the defendant is white.

( R v Lydon) - Robbery case, papers was found written as 'Sean rule'. There was no one named Sean charged by prosecution,Hence, not tender for truth - admissible.

( R v Turner) - Confession of Third Party, hearsay, inadmissible

( R v Ratten) - Charged for Murder his wife and the gun accidentally shot.The telephone call of the wife asking for police is not tendered for the purpose of truth. Therefore, it was not caught under hearsay rule.

3.0 EXCEPTIONS:

Remember we have something left floating in our mind? Where it would lead to some unjust and unfair if hearsay statement cannot be admitted? Here we go with the exceptions where hearsay statement is admissible.

(a) Common Law Exceptions( No longer effective)

Dying Declaration
Res Gestae - Things is part of the event [ Preserved in 118(1)]

->R v Ratten by Lord Wilberforce

->R v Andrews- Andrew has a conviction of manslaughter, there was evidence where the victim replied to a question of a constable saying its Donald that injured him, but the constable wrote as 'Donavon'.It is evidenced that the victim has Scottish accent and had drunk. The HL admitted the evidence via Res gastea.

This rule has been criticised to be obscure and hazy till today.

(b) Statutory exceptions which codified in CJA 2003

Hearsay statement maybe admitted via the admissibility sections under S.114 & 115

* S114(1) Lord Havers Definition + S115 explains the 'matter stated' as:

representation of fact or opinion made by person which includes a representation made in sketch, photo fit or pictorial form that cause another to believe or cause other to act or a machine to operate

( R v Coventry exp Bullard)

->>>S114(1)(a) provisioned that admit the evidence of hearsay that inclusive of S.116 ( The unavailability section) and S.117(Business and other documents)

S.116(1)must satisfy all the subsections.

(a) oral evidence by the person who made the statement would admissible.
(b)the person made statement is identified to the court satisfaction
(c) subsection two applies

116(2) - dead, unfit, outside UK, cannot be found, fear( S116(3)- Death,PI, Financial loss R v Martin) but all to be obtained by leave from court as perS.116(2)(e) R v Acton.

S.117 (1) ,in conjunctive reading, to satisfy:

(a) oral evidence given and admissible
(b) 117(2) to be satisfied,

- created or received by person in the course of trade, business, profession or other occupation, or as the holder of a paid and unpaid office

- the person who supplied the document had personal knowledge

- each person through whom the information was supplied from relevant person mentioned in para (a) received the information in the course of trade, business, profession, or other occupation or as the holder of paid and unpaid office.

(c)if 117(4) requires, then s117(5) needs to be satisfied too.
(4) - If the documents was prepared for criminal proceeding or investigation then (5) must satisfied, either unavailable as 116(2) or the person cannot reasonably be expected to recollect the matters, which means too long.

However, it must also be appreciated that, if any documents contains doubtful view of its contents, source of info, how it supplied and received and it maybe created as stated in S.117(6). This reflects Lord Normand concerns in Teper v R.

A copy of the documents may also be admitted by those who has read it if the original evidence is lost, damaged or cannot be found. If not, original copy must be tendered.S.133 CJA 2003. R v Nazeer

S114(1)(b) - Preserved Common law exceptions

As provisioned in S.118(2), the common law exceptions are expressly abolished.

Technically, it is still preserved under 118(1) rule 4 of res gestae, it is admitted:

(A) Made emotionally overpowered where there are spontaneous exclamations of the victim of an offence.- may include dying declaration???

(B) Statement relating with the makers performance act. R v Mc Cay - ID

PARADE , POLICE ARE ALLOWED TO GIVE EVIDENCE

(C) Relating to physical sensation ( R v Gloster -dying women making statement named the person responsible, inadmissible) Limited usage.

Relating to mental state ( if its relevant or in issue, is contemporaneous, indicates the maker's mind)

R v Dixon - statement made after killing

R v Ball - Statement of antipathy feeling

R v Glifoyle - Norman charged for murder of his wife, a suicide note was presented. Wife's friend said, Norman asked Paula to write a suicide note in the course of his project. CA admit it should have been admitted under hearsay rule as its reflects the state of mind.

114(1)(c) - Non contentious one, all partied agreed to tender the hearsay statement.

114(1)(d) - It is a inclusionary discretion in which the judge can admit it in the interest of justice , R v J (2009) and R v Sparks may have been different if it is decided today. Lord Cooke is of the view it should be reformed. It should be used sparingly as Lord Standley Burton stated in R v Z(2009) where its a rape case, there is a third pary whom he had abused.

MULTIPLE HEARSAY EVIDENCE

By invoking S.121(1)- cannot admit an earlier hearsay unless it is under s.117,119, 120 or all agreed or in the interest of justice.

Mc Gillvray - if the middle person is merely conduit pipe then its not second hand hearsay.

Another important elements if one wants to admit an hearsay evidence, the maker must be capable( s.123) and creditable ( s.124).

In the new act, it provides various of discretion to judges like 114(1)(d), 116(4), 117(7) and s126(1)(b)- if waste of time. S125, if too much of hearsay evidence, judges hold the power too.

Notwithstanding large chunk of criticism has been made towards the fact the judges hold too much power. But, an inclusionary discretion is now an inevitable feature of a statutory concept.

Sources:

Evidence Textbook, Gregory Durston, Oxford Publisher

Miss Christina Chelliah Guidelines on 'Hearsay'

Brickfields Asia College Textbook, Mr Raja Singam

Blackstone Statute Book on Evidence, 10th Edition

At this juncture

2009-08-19T20:22:00.002+08:00

It has been days and more than a week for me to self quarantined myself at home by the sudden attack of sickness. I had a disasterous moment tortured by illness , likewise, it is just a golden chance for me to have a rest as i always desired to. It is sheepish and fatous to claim my sickness eventually bring me some kind of benefits, neither i myself declare myself is no different with a weirdo. It brings me into awakeness and realisation. It leads me live a day, at least a day with gratefulness. To be frank, as an egoistic person who always think himself doing the right thing and claim others who agaist his ideology as wrong will of course have some conflict with people. Life full with grievance and disatisfaction. Yes, i always have conflict with my family's views as i will invoke my theories on something. In another word, i will make sense out of non-sense. Till now, i can hardly remove all those theories in my mind but just setting it aside and feel some love from them. Being anxious about my sickness, i am worry that my parents will get infected from my influeza since i am not sure whether do i got AH1N1 infection. However, they have taken care of me by ignoring the possibility of being infected. Yes, i had a tough time for being in pink of my health, so do my parents. While i was in fever severely, they barely sleep but keep on leaving their room and come down. They touched my forehead with their warmful hand. I was in dream that time i guess, but, i can somehow feel it. Though i do aware of it, still, i was so inconcious that time. What i know is, i need to sleep more as i can finally fall asleep.

Hooo.....i took a deep breathe, it is the first time i ever stay at home for such a long time this year. I cannot make it to temple , basically, i cannot make it to anywhere . So, it leaves my no choice but to stay at home. It is so rare that i stay at home , so, i would just sleep and lie on my bed. I mean, even if i stay at home, i must have something to do. To be exact, it is the first time i ever feel free which i think is bad as i almost lost my direction of life. What is life if you spend time doing nothing? Thats what i told my mum when she complains that i have been too busy with activities and friends. Yes, i has been going out quite often. At least i didnt go for clubbing ? I have my own jurisdiction on what i am doing. Whenever i discuss about time with my mum, there will be at least disagreement between both of our viewpoints. Well, its because the side effect of medication. I took a lot of supplements while i am still sick. Stolle milk which my mum believes it can strengthen my immune system , Honey which my mum thinks it can kills viruses or bacterias and some Chinese traditional medicines that i dont have faith on it. Haha, at that moment, i really dont have much choice, what i want is to get healed. Till now, i am getting better, but i have zero idea on which one works on me though. I feel like i am staying in an asylum which full with all kind of medicines.

This 'holidays' has also given me a chance to sit tight on the sofa with the TV remote control on my hand and press it . I have the chance to watch some programs like some forums held between some famous authors, some documentaries programs and some drama of course. Last time, i really dont have time for that. Of course, i was spending my time on the bed and in front of my laptop more. How about books ? Not really, maybe a few Reader Digest. I read it , flipped through and fall asleep. I also notice that i have not been really reading last days, not even newspapers. Erm..so, this sickness dont really bring me on a wistful venture, but it brings me to do more things. The most relieving news i would say is, when the doctor soothed me with the news that ' I AM NOT INFECTED BY H1N1 INFLUEZA'. Yahoo.....Now, i am pondering whether should i go to college tomorrow. I missed a lot of classes last week. Especially EC law ! Well, most probably i will going tomorrow though. Miss my mates a lot also ! They will see me with a spooky look tomorrow as i will wear a mask there. I know it looks weird. For the public's benefits, i shall practice that.

Apart from that, i went to clinics 3 times in this 2 weeks and have taken X ray to see whether my lung is in good condition or not. The daunting moment is , all clinics are so crowded man ! I think it is not only H1N1 is spreading but other viruses as well ! What happened to the world ? My mum and i were waited for 1.30 hrs and i was there with antsy feeling already. Finally, it was my turn, they took my weight as usual . The doctor is one of the greatest doctor i have ever met, the way he treats patient is very different than other specialist. His name is Dr Ludher Inderjit Singh, he was the only doctor in the anti-communist military that time. Thats what he told me, those communist wanted to kill him as he is the only doctor and therefore he needs to protect himself by wearing the same shirt as those army. He really check the patient from top to down unlike others General Practitioner. Though he is practicing as a GP , but, he himself actually is a specialist. He always chide on my dad since my dad has a big tummy resulted from beers. It is because of him, it is one of the major reason why my asthma getting better. I have been his patient for at least 10 years. If my asthma ever get healed completely, the credit should really goes to him.

Anyway, i had my holidays started earlier and i think i have enough of rest ! Time to move on! Thin time has gone ! I really need to know how to take good care of myself. Seeing my parents worry isnt a good thing. They have done more than enough. See what i have now ? I am not being high profile on what i have. It is just an feeling shown to express my satisfaction and appreciation . Thanks a bunch to everyone!

Ohya, i bought a guitar and will start to learn playing every Saturday in the temple. It is a Hofma guitar model 260 which cost around less than RM300. My friends told me its cheap as the market price is around RM400+ . Nonetheless, my classmates who known as a walking encyclopedia - Freddy, told me that it suppose to cost only RM190. He claimed that i was being cheated already. He dont know how much faith i have on my friends, then i have abit of surveying job and found out that RM190 is the price for USED GUITAR. Haha...i guess he got it wrong this time.

Bed time now, share with you all my thoughts next time. I really have lot to share here.

I hope the ailments will leave me forever , no, leave this world forever.