Champagne Pirate

Ye Scurvy Dog!

2009-09-19T07:54:00.002-04:00

Avast, another year gone by an 'tis Talk Like a Pirate Day once again. This year, in honor o' t' event, I'll be writin' like a pirate - handwritin' that is. You see, I got me here this fine fount'n pen so's I can make me X to mark t' spot. Arrrgh

Treasure Found

2009-07-07T08:25:00.003-04:00

A man with a metal detector unearthed 840 gold coins minted during the Iron Age. The coins, valued at over one million dollars are now on display at the British Museum in London. Because the coins were over 300 years old, they have been declared "treasure" by the Suffolk Coroner which makes them property of the Crown. Arrrgh!

Treasure Detecting Sandals

2009-06-10T07:00:00.004-04:00

Why didn't I think of this?! Gadgetmonger Hammacher Schlemmer is offering these sandals with a built-in metal detector for $59.95. A 9-volt battery is placed in the geeky box strapped to your right calf. The device detects metal to a depth of two feet and issues visible, audible and tactile alerts. Arrrrrgh!

Metal Corks for Champagne?

2009-04-16T17:04:00.003-04:00

The Champagne House of Duval-Leroy has announced plans to demonstrate a metal closure (not pictured) that would be used to replace the traditional cork. The presentation will be made at the International Wine Trade Fair in London to be held next month. This Pirate finds it hard to imagine that there would be much consumer acceptance for metal except for producers who currently use plastic. But Duval-Leroy is certainly a respectable producer and wouldn't be willing to present the product unless they thought it made sense.... Arrrrgh!

World's Oldest Champagne

2009-03-21T23:28:00.003-04:00

I was unable to attend a recent tasting at Perrier-Jouet during which they opened one of their last three bottles of the 1825 vintage. According to accounts of the tasting, the 1825 was still drinkable, but nearly devoid of bubbles and tasting more like a sherry than a Champagne. For those of you still holding on to your 1825's this Pirate says, drink now. Arrrrrgh.

Swan Song

2009-03-17T00:00:00.003-04:00

The beautiful and talented British Actress Kiera Knightley has reportedly declined an opportunity to appear in the fourth installment of Disney's Pirates of the Caribbean. While Johnny Depp has signed on for the next film, Orlando Bloom has not yet done so. Arrrrgh

Eye Patch for Rihanna

2009-02-18T00:13:00.002-05:00

According to recent tabloid reports, Rihanna wore an eye patch while performing in November to hide possibly hide an injury caused by her lover. Not knowing Rihanna or her boyfriend, this Pirate cannot comment on those claims except to say that no excuse is necessary for wearing an eye-patch. Arrrrgh!

Buried Treasure Found in Galveston

2009-01-22T11:47:00.002-05:00

According to reports in the Houston Chronicle, a bobcat operator engaged in hurricane clean-up at Galveston Island State Park uncovered a metal ammunition box containing buried treasure. The contents of the box, which included jewelery, coins and currency also contained information enabling the finder to identify the treasure's owner. According to the Chronicle, the true owner is serving time on charges for intoxication assault but is due to be released in April. Arrrgh

Champagne Chairs

2009-01-06T07:21:00.003-05:00

Classic furniture etailer, Design Within Reach, is still accepting entries into this year's annual Champagne Chair Contest until Friday January 9th. Under the rules, entrants must design and build a miniature chair entirely out of champagne corks, cages, foil and label (metal plaque) - actually all materials other than the glass are fair game, from up to two bottles. Chairs must not be larger than 4". Chairs must be an original design and not a replica of someone else's design. Arrrrgh!!

Treasure Quest Heading To Discovery Channel

2008-12-18T16:13:00.002-05:00

Starting on January 15, 2009 at 10:00pm Eastern, the Discovery Channel will premiere a new show about underwater shipwreck treasure hunters from Odyssey Marine Exploration. Arrrrgh!

British Claim to Inventing Champagne

2008-11-15T08:44:00.005-05:00

For centuries, credit for inventing the méthode champenoise was traditionally given to Dom Pérignon, and to France. Now, however, a British researcher claims that the credit should be given to an English scientist by the name of Christopher Merrett. According to the Times Online, James Crowden, author of a book on the history of cider, Merrett described how to make sparkling wine in a paper presented to the Royal Society in the year 1632. This would upset the French claim, but would also be surprising, since the Royal Society was not founded until 1660. Arrrgh!

Champagne Preservation

2008-11-12T16:55:00.003-05:00

If you find yourself unable to finish what you've started, you can now indefinitely preserve your opened bottles of Champagne. Many wine connoisseurs will be familiar with the Cruvinet system for wine preservation, which uses nitrogen gas to prevent oxidization of an opened bottle of wine. The Perlage system is similar, but uses carbon dioxide to both prevent oxidization and to re-pressurize the Champagne, preventing the loss of dissolved carbon dioxide (the source of those tiny bubbles, sometimes refered to as "perlage." Systems are available for residential and restaurant uses, with prices for the residential system starting at around $300. Of course, any Pirate worthy of the name would never need something like this. Arrrgh!

Sexy Pirates

2008-11-05T10:55:00.006-05:00

Lingerie manufacturer, Agent Provocateur has launched a new Pirates Collection and an ad campaign under the banner Season of the Pirates. The campaign features renowned supermodel and cheese addict Helena Christensen. Arrrrrgh!

Quantum of Bollinger

2008-11-03T16:16:00.003-05:00

I hope the film is cooler than this... For a mere $5,765.00 you too can own one bottle of Bollinger and this James Bond souvenir which doubles as a small safe and a wine cooler. Only 207 will be made, so act fast. Arrrgh.

Champagne Weapon

2008-10-29T13:56:00.002-04:00

Now is not a good time to be a car dealer, or apparently, to be married to one. The owner of one of America's largest car dealerships is reported to have been charged with second degree aggravated assault and weapons possession charges. The weapon in question was allegedly a champagne bottle, the victim, his wife while riding in the back of a limousine. The defendant was released on $50,000 bail. The identity and vintage of the champagne were not immediately available. Arrrgh

Webcasting from My Cellphone

2008-10-27T08:18:00.002-04:00

This morning I learned how to instantly stream live video from my cellphone to the web. I couldn't wait to show it off! Arrrgh

Shrinkage

2008-10-13T17:34:00.002-04:00

According to recent reports, even moderate drinking (2 drinks a night) can result in shrinkage of the brain at a rate that outpaces the normal amount of shrinkage due to age. This Pirate was stunned by the news and doubts whether the researchers included the effects of vintage champagne in their study. If not, I am willing to participate in the follow-on study. No, really. I have a big brain and I like drinking champagne. What more do you want? Arrrrgh.

Eye Patch for Danny Glover

2008-09-17T09:52:00.002-04:00

On September 26, 2008, a film entitled Blindness will open in US Theaters nationwide. The film, which is an adaption of Nobel Prize Winning Author, José Saramago's novel stars Julianne Moore, Mark Ruffalo and Danny Glover and features Mr. Glover in the role of "Man with Black Eye Patch."

Pirate Corn Maze

2008-09-08T10:25:00.003-04:00

Harvest Hill Farms in Mechanic Falls, Maine, USA has announced that its corn maze this year will have a Pirate Theme. The multi-acre maze is shaped like a Pirate Ship and features 23 game stations along the way. Event starts 9/19 and runs to 11/2. Sounds like fun! Arrrgh

Sunken Treasure Champagne

2008-09-05T16:37:00.002-04:00

According to reports circulating today, you too can taste the 1907 Heidsieck at the Ritz-Carlton in Moscow. Price: $300,000 a bottle (about 6.9 Million Rubles). Apparently the Ritz-Carlton has acquired 200 bottles which were lost in 1916 when the ship they were aboard was sunk by a German U-Boat off the coast of Finland. The intended recipient of the shipment was the Russian Tsar's army headquarters in St Petersburg. That's quite a markup, considering that a bottle of the 1907 Heidsieck sold at in 2006 at auction for $4,200. About 3,000 bottles of the '07 were recovered in 1998 by a Swedish search team exploring the wreckage of the ketch Jonpoking. Yaaaar.

Prepare to Be Boarded

2008-09-03T14:03:00.002-04:00

On September 19th, it will be International Talk Like A Pirate Day. In order t' assist those o' you who may not be so seasoned, I have furnished a link t' a translator, courtesy o' t' originators o' t' Holiday. Arrrgh

Hillary Swank to Make Film About Champagne Exec

2008-08-14T09:45:00.002-04:00

Two Time Academy Award Winning Actress, Hillary Swank, has acquired the film rights to the best-selling book "French Women Don't Get Fat (The Secret of Eating for Pleasure)." The lifestyle book authored by Mireille Guiliano in 2004 has sold over two million copies and will be made into a romantic comedy about the boss of a champagne company. The beautiful Ms. Guiliano was herself the spokesperson for Veuve Clicquot and also held the post of CEO for the US-based Clicquot, Inc.

Invisible Nanomaterial

2008-08-11T14:04:00.003-04:00

According to reports soon to be published in Nature and Science, scientists at the University of California - Berkeley and and the Lawrence Berkeley National Lab, also in California have made strides in the development of nanomaterials capable of bending light in ways that can produce invisibility. See photo above. This material, when perfected, will be of particular importance to pirates. Arrrgh.

Treasure Hunt in Zimbabwe

2008-08-04T09:40:00.003-04:00

To combat hyperinflation, the Reserve Bank of Zimbabwe recently devalued its currency by removing ten zeros. This turns notes previously worth $10,000,000,000 into $1. Before the devaluation, coins having a face value of $1 were worthless, because you'd have to carry billions of them to buy anything. However, as part of the move, the Government of Zimbabwe re-introduced the old silver coins, and the result is that the previously worthless coins are now worth 10 billion times what they were the week before. The result has set Zimbabweans on a national treasure hunt, looking under beds, between cushions on the couch and in old cupboards for jars of coins. Do you know where you hid yours? Arrrrrgh!

Pirate of the Month

2008-08-01T09:37:00.004-04:00

At the present time, I have no need for a spokesmodel. But if I ever did, I think I've found her. In addition to her international fashion modeling, Sonia Velasquez, has hosted and conducted interviews on numerous television programs and runs her own event planning business. Arrrgh!