The World Of Chance

Chance & The Lucky Aces are back - Forks & Knives Preview

2016-07-27T12:31:00.000+01:00

The Retroboat

2015-08-23T12:37:00.002+01:00

I don't really get much time for writing these days, however I have set up a small blog for reviewing retro games. The reviews are short and sweet

http://retroboat.blogspot.co.uk

Chance & The Lucky Aces - Reformed

2015-03-30T21:35:00.001+01:00

After a four year Hiatus, My band Chance & the Lucky Aces have reformed and at the weekend we were in the recording studio. Below is snippet on what you lucky people have got to look forward too on our upcoming EP.

Cylon Build Part #1

2014-02-03T20:36:00.000+00:00

Been a long while since I have posted anything on this blog.

However, I am in the process of building a Battlestar Galactic Cylon helmet.

I am keeping an update of the progress over here

Platform 58/ RSJS Studios

2013-03-08T17:46:00.000+00:00

Very quick post, I was asked to contribute and article to Platform 58 Zine which came out this week. You can find it around page 82 and there are some great photos in there from where I make cufflinks

Project Icarus Part 2

2012-12-16T17:29:00.001+00:00

Image from ScottJarvis.com

This is probably the last update this side of the year, but some progress to report.

Firstly, I have had a lot of interest in this, so much so that I am now building two versions. One the original planned Icarus. The second a two player version which you can plug into a television,with the intention of selling them.

For the purposes of this blog, they will be referred to as Icarus I and Icarus II.

For an indication of what the two player version will look like. Take a look at

http://www.plasmafire.org/projects/portable-mame-control-panel

Whilst I think that is a cracking bit of design, I want to create something that takes you back to a pier by the seaside circa 1989 , but with a powerful bit of umpf under the bonnet. This is probably going to be a project that is measured in months not weeks.

So going back to Icarus I

Good news, the monitor turned up - bad news no PSU- doubt that will arrive before xmas.
Good news, I finally got MAME running on Ubuntu. I did this by first removing Ubuntu, following these steps

https://sites.google.com/site/easylinuxtipsproject/reinstallation

Then installed MAME by using the following

http://www.upubuntu.com/2012/10/how-to-install-mame-multiple-arcade.html

Bad news, painfully slow and using the controller kept taking us to the ubuntu desktop

Good news, found something that did work and that is puppy arcade pictured at the top by Scott Jarvis.
I got this to install fairly hassle free, but it does not recognise my wifi driver -cant be arsed to look into why and don't care.

Good new, it works and at a very reasonable speed. I can now move the project over to my workbench. Here is Double Dragon (classic game - remember the whip?) running

I also had a quick fire up of the sega genesis emulator with Puppy arcade and the controller (after configuring) worked perfect with that too. Nb. as this drove me nuts first time (ALT + ENTER Exit full screen)

Finally what will make the enclosure of Icarus I arrived this week, a lot of prep to do on it, but I now have dimensions to work to. Just need to get my head around hydraulics first....

Project Icarus - Part 1

2012-12-09T16:36:00.000+00:00

Project Icarus

I have had an idea for a MAME cabinet which I am keeping stum at the moment as I don't want to spoil the surprise. All I will say is, I make cufflinks out of bullets - expect anything

First thing was to order some arcade controls. I got them from arcade world on ebay along with an IPAC2 controller. For the first build I am more concerned about getting from a to b and finding out what is going to be involved, so it probably wasn't the most economical purchase. I was a little bit disappointed that no wiring instructions came with the controls, considering the cost.

To get my head around it, I put the controls into a small lever arch folder from WH Smiths.

Next I went off on bit of misadventure and a waste of a saturday night; I am planning for MK1 to use a raspberry pi as i need something that is small. MKII will use a mini itx and I thought I would refresh myself on Linux

I managed to get a copy of ubuntu onto an old asus eee-pc and installed MAME and that was as far as I got. After several sudo this and sudo that. I gave up. I mean seriously guys ? how complicated can you make something !!

So, I installed MAME on my mac which i not ideal as I wanted the eee-pc so I could work on the project from my workbench. I am not usually a fan of youtube tutorials, but I did find this one to be very helpful

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K6xyO-poAZU

With MAME installed , and a few roms downloaded from http://www.dgemu.com I was ready to get my head around the wiring

Firstly, I would highly recommend using different colour wiring, unlike what I have done. Secondly, It is actually very straight forward. A couple of things I couldn't get my head around at first was whether the grounding ran through all the buttons and joystick, or they were two separate loops. Its one loop. Also, It wasn't immediately obvious what was the NC and NO on my switches. This is where the lever arch file came in most handy as I was able to swap things around very easily and quickly.

Here is a short video showing the controls working on TMNT, bit hard one handed but you get the idea

Next steps, is to find the key component for my enclosure and work out how I am going to fit everything in.

123-reg.co.uk - BULLSHITING MERCHANTS

2012-11-13T10:53:00.004+00:00

Years ago, I used to have a domain hosted with a company called supanames and in all fairness it was a pretty decent hosting company.

It was taken over by 123reg who are complete assholes.

I say this, as every once in a while they take money from my account "For domain renewal" even though I no longer have a domain hosted with them. Every time they take money from me, I go through a whole charade of asking for confirmation that the domain has been cancelled, and everytime they assure me it has. It started in 2009 and has been continuing since.

In 2010 money was taken twice from my account. Once in August and then again in December. Through a long series of phone calls. I got the money back from August, but when they took it again at December, I fired off a rant tweet on twitter @123Reg. A women called Anisha Lal got in contact refunded my money and she confirmed with me that the account was cancelled. But she is full of shit

As in 2011. Again money was taken from my account. this time I was refused a refund as they said they had no confirmation that my account had been cancelled or a record of conversation above. So I asked their support to provide me with written confirmation that my account had been cancelled, and that I would not be screwed by them again. Turns out Camille Simpson is full of shit too

I am receiving domain renewal emails for said domain and no doubt they will be taking money from my account again - and the wankers have my name wrong for further insult.

I have tried logging into their most un user friendly domain panel, but I get the following

But I am betting that they will take money on the 13th of December. It is only a small amount £9.99 but this is money they are taking without my permission, and for a service I no longer use.

I have tried

* Phoning
* Over twitter
* Via their support
* Via their domain panel.

I do not think I am now being unreasonable by calling them a bunch of Bullshitting rip off bastards.

AVOID THIS COMPANY

Dear Prime Minister

2012-09-21T17:48:00.001+01:00

Dear Prime Minister,

Regarding the issue of the misuse of Foreign Office resources by British tourists, I have personally overseen an enquiry into the matter and write to inform you of the findings.

I was under the impression that British tourists all fell from the same apple cart, but through the course of this enquiry several distinct groups have been identified as below, along with my recommendations.

The first of these groups is made up of mainly females in the early fifties to late sixties, whom when they arrive in a foreign land will bemoan the fact that the sun is too hot, complaining to anyone within ear shot. This is normally followed by their first experience of the beach, bemoaning that the sand is not level. We have categorised them as Afraid of Sun and Sand, or ASS for short.

I recommend that the Foreign Office be authorised to immediately fly in a special tent fitted with a level laminated floor, to be kept at a constant temperature of 14C with a cardigan provided and a television showing endless loops of Coronation Street and Eastenders. The ASS will be kept there until their return flight home, thus saving holiday makers at the bar from their moans.

The second group, and a cause of many calls to our embassies are the ones who find the toilets in their guest country not up to their satisfaction. I have categorised these as Tourist in Toilet Situation or TITS for short.

I recommend that the Foreign Office be authorised to immediately fly in a special tent fitted with an A standard british W.C. along with copies of the Sun and Daily Mail Newspapers. If the comedian Jimmy Carr learns to hide his taxes properly, I suggest he records an infomercial to be played in the tent, showing how such situations can be turned into amusing anecdotes.

The third group is mainly harmless, but is another drain of our switchboards is the Brit Understanding the Menu Situation or BUMS for short.

I recommend that the Foreign Office be authorised to immediately fly in by helicopter a special tent with a Little Chef on hand to cook Egg, Chips and Ham for the distressed, whilst in the background a television plays reruns of episodes of Fawlty Towers.

The fourth group are not so much in themselves a trouble to our resources, but more with whom they come into contact - mainly angry hoteliers and restaurateurs. They are the ones who believe that as they are on holiday, their parental duties are also on holiday and allow their offspring to run riot. We have labeled this as Completely Out of Control Kids Situation or COCKS for short.

I recommend that the foreign office be authorised to fly in a special tent where the offending parent will be forced into a clown costume and drugged like in that film you and watched over at Cleggs’ last week - the one with Gerald Butler in , where he is about to chop up the bad guy.

Once the offender has been drugged, as many COCKs as we can find can then be put into the tent, until the offender is reduced to a babbling wreck. A video from Jeremy Paxman could then be played, for God knows he is very good at pointing out when we don’t know what we are doing.

The next is a plague that has diseased us British for years, and that is the tourist who refuses to even pick up even the most basic of phrases in a language and insists that they can be made to be understood by raising their voice and making large circular motion with their hands. Brit Afraid of Learning Language Situation or BALLS For short.

Well, obviously the solution is within education but let’s not open that can of worms while we are in power. Instead I recommend the Foreign Office be authorised to fly out another special tent by helicopter. In the tent, a tracksuit will be provided and a video will play featuring Richard O’Brien (can we get him back on the tele? Perhaps offering him a knighthood or something?) informing them that they have three minutes to master the words “Please” and “Thankyou” in their hosts’ languages and the chance to win a crystal. If they fail, they will be locked in the tent until their flight home.

Another disease of the British is the tourist who feels it is their right and duty to shout at the top of their voice , how superior the British are (If only they could see how we run things here!) and point out how inferior their hosts and host country are normally accompanied by four letter blurts. Tourist With Arrogant Tourette Situation or TWATS For short.

I recommend the Foreign office be authorised to immediately fly in a special tent fitted with a television playing a video by Stephen Fry informing them that the Daily Mail and Metro newspapers are not peer reviewed journals and his show QI is for entertainment purposes and is not a substitute for a proper education. He could then calm the subject by telling an amusing story of some of our failures - not our recent ones I might add, more along the lines of Charge of the Light Brigade sort of thing (which reminds me, when is Boris’s next Risk night?)

To support the deployment of said helicopters, I suggest funds be put aside to set up one global dedicated support line with the number 444 + 4444 to be known as Brit In Trouble Calling Home In Need or BITCHIN For short.

BITCHIN should be sufficiently financed to deal with as many ASSes, BUMs, TITS, COCKs, BALLS and TWATS that are thrown their way.

Yours sincerely,

The Rt.Hon William Hague

Downton Abbey Cufflinks

2012-04-07T17:16:00.000+01:00

Following on from the Colt 45 Cufflinks, next off the production line so to speak are Downton Abbey Cufflink made from 19th Century/20th Century Livery buttons

From the dealer I bought the buttons from, I was able to find out the following

A bit of history about them. They are 19th / early 20th century Silver plated Livery buttons. Talking to the dealer I bought the buttons off, they came from Weston House in Otley, which is home to the Dawson family.

The Dawson family being famous for William Dawson, inventor of the Wharfedale printing press, effectively the modern printing press

Also in the second world war, on the estate some of the land was given over to a POW camp which housed German Prisoners.

On the upstairs downstairs aspect, it appears Susan Mary Dawson was into the occult, her grave in Weston Churchyard is marked with bronze age cup and ring stones - I kid thee not.

Currently got five pairs which I am selling by blind auction. I have yet to get my website for this venture up, (will be RSJSStudios.com) but I do have a Facebook page up here on details about how to bid.

Colt 45 Cufflinks

2012-03-04T16:50:00.000+00:00

Long time since I've made a blog post , but to introduce a new venture I am starting to make cufflinks. Pictures a bit grainy, but first of the production line is the Colt 45 Cufflink. I need to refine the process in making them a bit, but hoping to get an etsy store or something similar up shortly

I Shot a Frenchman at agincourt

2011-05-09T07:50:00.000+01:00

My bands debut single, availiable to buy from itunes and amazon

May 8th 11:55:49

2011-04-23T15:17:00.000+01:00

Afterburn

2011-02-06T11:31:00.000+00:00

This is the second Harrison Book I have read. The first was Havana Room which was an absolutely fantastic read and whilst Afterburn is an entertaining read, it doesn’t quite match that of the Havana room.

The main protagonist is Charlie Ravich. A former Vietnam vet who is now a successful and shrewd businessmen who crosses path with Christina Welles, who has recently come out of prison and there are several people who want to find her.

What Harrison does extremely well is the set-up, which is also style-wise evident in the Havana Room, which makes his books a good read. One interesting thing, was reading this after recently reading In The Lake of The Woods which also features a Vietnam Vet. Tim O’Brien the author, was writing about the Vietnam history of his character from experience, whilst Harrison is writing from well researched notes. The differences are subtle, but as a writer myself, I found it interesting to compare the two.

It’s a bit hard to write why I didn’t like Afterburn as much as the Havana Room as I would be giving away the ending. That is not to say the ending is a disappointment, just after being along for the ride in the set-up , I think the book lets you off a stop to early. I would still recomend reading it, but if you haven’t read the Havana Room, then read that one first.

Sharpes Triumph

2011-01-30T12:04:00.000+00:00

I grew up watching the Sharpe television series and was a huge fan of it. The glory days when ITV could actually produce good television.

I have never read any of the books before, and this is chronologically the second book in the series of 24 that Bernard Shaw wrote with the Sharpe character.

I was expecting it to be full of men who swear at each other but salute their officers. Big battles, and busty women - whom are always addressed as me lady. A devilish plot with some twisting and turning, and everyone coming home in time for tea as heroes.

I wasn’t disappointed. The book has all those things in it.

The main battle that the story is set against is the Battle of Assaye where Wellesely defeated an army of a 100’000 of the Maratha with just under 10’000 troops. Sharpe starts of the book at the rank of Sergent and through the events becomes part of Wellesely Staff. Due to his actions and people he meets,he is raised to the rank of Ensign by the end of the book.

The battle takes up a big chunk of the book, and I’m sure there is enough detail in the ranks, battle orders to appease the historian as well as the reader. (wargamers as well it seems)

I don’t think its fair to call it two dimensional, as its a very honest work in the sense of the characters are well defined, the action a-plentiful and those elements, of which why I liked the Sharpe series are all there. This doesn't pretend at any stage to be anything which it is not - an action book with a historical setting.

I also think Bernard Cornwell has an excellent skill of mixing in the history with the fiction. But, there is not enough depth there that wants to be to rush out and buy the rest of the books. If I saw one of the books, in the left over holiday reading pile I would however, likely pick it up.

megaloceros giganteus at Leeds City Museum

2011-01-16T11:11:00.000+00:00

January, and as I have done for the last three years, a trip to the Leeds City Museum to draw the Megaloceros Giganteus.

Annoyingly they have changed the lighting in the room, whilst it certantly gives more detail to the neck, it adds some really unnatural horrible highlights and illuminates the eye socket very odd. The underneath of the chin and under the skull is also illuminated very oddly and the detail on the chin has been lost. Heres a picture of how it used to be lit

For some reason, my smokeback.com site is down at the moment. But you can see my sketch here on flickr

see you in 2012

Merry F*cking Christmas

2010-12-24T08:18:00.000+00:00

WARNING! If you think you might find a story entitled Merry F*cking Christmas offensive, then please stop reading here.

1 AM

“Merry Fucking Christmas!” screamed the dwarf as he pulled out from under his rain coat a Remington 31 shotgun. The Elves made a dive for cover but it was to late for Erika and Klaus whose guts were then peppered onto the outside walls of the workshop.

As the dwarf reloaded, Pips tried to make a run to the back of the sleigh, but sadly he was not quick enough - with one shot, the dwarf blasted his brains to soup.

The four remaining Elves, paralysed with fear, watched open-mouthed as the dwarf then clambered onto the front of the sleigh and called over to his accomplice

“Come on Goebbels “

From behind a Christmas tree, another dwarf appeared and replied

“Ya Hitler”, before racing over to join Hitler on the sleigh. As they took off, Goebbels pulled out a Bren machine gun and let off a full magazine into the remaining elves - none survived

2 AM

Baby Jesus had been looking forward to this cigar all year. It was a Romeo y Julietta Churchill and something he always treated himself to at Christmas. He carefully guillotined the end and went to reach for the matches.

BANG BANG BANG !

The walls around Baby Jesus splintered and one of the rounds turned his treasured cigar into dust. Then, through a hole in the wall, Hitler peeked and pointed his shotgun directly at the saviour

“Nighty Night” said Hitler before pulling the trigger and blasting the son of god into the kingdom of heaven.

3 AM

Santa stared at the pools of blood that surrounded his workshop. He had feared this day for a long time. An old women called Ethel had predicted on the day of Santa's birth, that one day two dwarfs named Hitler and Goebbels would murder all the elves, steal his sleigh and then wreck havoc on Christmas eve- including the murder of Baby Jesus. - Thank god Santa was prepared!

With time of the essence, Santa wasted no time going into his workshop. Concentrate, he said to himself as he went up to the balcony, where a large iron pole was waiting. He pulled up the back of his shirt and ran backwards into the pole. It took a couple of attempts, but finding the right momentum, he manage to get it to break the skin. Now the hard part, He knew for his plan to work he musn’t pass out from the pain. With great gusto he began to push the pole further into his back and upwards along his spine.

4 AM

Hitler and Goebbels had parked the seligh on the roof of the Rockefeller centre as they had a pressing matter to deal with. It was Goebbels who had in fact noticed first that Rudolf appeared to be circumcised , that would never do. He dragged Rudolf to the back of the sleigh and then pro ceded to tie Rudolf by his penis to one of the running boards. With Rudolf tied, they soon set off again, with a somewhat bumpy take off.

5AM

The Metamorphosis, as painful as it was,was now complete. Santa was no longer santa, but rather MECHANOID-CLAUS !!

6AM

Hitler and Goebbles had got bored of flying around, especially as the blood from Rudolph’s corpse had got on their nice clean clothes, so instead they sat in central park, taking pot shots at .. well anyone who walked by. The tally so far was 23 to Hitler, 18 to Goebbels

As Hitler was about to take aim on a 63 year old women who was feeding the pigeons. MECHANOID-CLAUS Appeared

Goebbels dived for his bren machine gun and began to fire wildly at Mechanoid-claus - he cursed as the bullets bounced off, before starting to cry like a little girl as Mechanoid-claus picked him up and squeezed him till his ribs cracked and pierced his lungs.

HItler tried to run, but Mechanoid-claus manage to grab hold of his neck. He threw Hitler face down to the ground and then pulled down Hitlers Short.

“You’ve been a very naughty boy “ Said Mechanoid-claus as he pro-ceded to unzip his fly …

12 AM Xmas Evening

Santa pulled out of Miss Claus and wiped himself with a towel.

“I do enjoy these games of ours “ he said before putting on his red trousers and heading off to deliver all the presents to the boys and girls

In the Lake Of the Woods

2010-12-18T11:42:00.000+00:00

This was another rescue from the last day of Borders and thankfully not another big pile of Dodo droppings like Clara Hopgood was. This book also made us do something, which I have not done in a very long time...

I had been reading this book on the bus traveling home from work ( I would read it on the way to work, but thanks to First Group habit of phantom buses, my hands are normally frozen by the time by bus comes along) and I got to the last 100 pages, and decided; Right going to clear and evening get a bottle of wine and finish this book on the comfort of the sofa. I think the last book that I did that for was Robert Graves Claudius the God - about five years ago.

In the lake of the woods, starts of with John Wade and his wife escaping to the lakes of Minnesota after John’s dismal performance in the elections for the US Senate. They take up a small cabin by the lakes, and are attempting to work out what to do with their lives next. Their relationship is pretty strained and we begin to see that there is more to John’s loss of the election than meets the eye.

John also suffers from nightmares which revolve around his father and his Vietnam past. One night, he awakes and goes into the kitchen where he has a near mental breakdown moment (oh that poor cactus). Sleeping in the next day, he awakes late in the day to find that his wife has gone.

At first thinking nothing of it, it is not till twelve hours later than he starts getting concerned and eventually the local police are involved and a search of the lakes begins.

There are two things, which make this a cracking read. The first is the character of John Wade through the use of flashbacks and his own internal monologue we get glimpses of his past and over the course of the book, a really nice 3D character is formed. The second, is the author uses a couple of really nice plot devices. The first is a mix of fictional and non-fictional sound bites - mainly to do with the Vietnam war and the investigation into his missing wife. Plus, why his campaign for senate failed. The information is dripped at a really nice pace. The second, and I can imagine fellow Leeds Savage member Maz commenting “I see what you did there” , is about every third or fourth chapter is a Hypothesis on what actually happened to his wife.

All throughout this I was wondering how the author was going to end it, and the way he does, I think is clever. I can see some people not liking the ending, especially if you like a book to wrap up on closure.

I can highly recommend this book, and looking forward to a few more people I know (including Mazzz In Leeds) to read it, so we can discuss the ending.

Tao Te Ching

2010-12-11T16:32:00.000+00:00

Meh! I have known a couple of people who really rave about this book, and I thought I would give it a read, but after reading it, not exactly been blown away. I also can’t help but think that it is in some ways, very pop philosophy. Next time I meet one of said people, I am going to ask them to actually explain what they think it means - in a nice way of course

So what got my back up about the book ? I think firstly, I never felt engaged by the writings. Something like Marcus Aurellius’ meditations, I can get very lost in and even though I found it confusing and annoying, the Tibetan Book of the Dead still had a great deal of engagement to be found. With the Tao Te Ching, It just seems to be a collection of some very odd sayings all thrown together - I cant think of any that I read, that made me want to stop and think. To give you an example

“My Words are easy to understand and easier to put into practice. Yet no one in the world seems to understand them nor are they able to apply what I teach “

Can’t be very good choice of words then. I think the other thing that bugged me is the style that it is written, its all a bit flowery and a bit la-de-da, which might be the fault of the translation but I think also to do with the style of philosophy. On the note of translations, this was the by the same company that I bought the Tibetan Book of the Dead from and as before l not going to moan about a book that cost 99p nor recommend it either.

Going back to the book, another gripe is, it also seems to lack any backbone which is stressed by the opening line

“The Tao that be be described is not the eternal Tao”

So great, all I am about to read is not the real deal and then finally to add insult to injury the text then calls me foolish

“When a superior person hears of the Tao, she dilligently puts it into practice. When an average person hears of the Tao, he believes half of it, and doubts the other half. When a foolish person hears of a the Tao, he laughs out loud at the very idea . If he didn’t laugh, it wouldn't be the Tao”

And in case you are reading this wondering what Tao is, then to slightly paraphrase chapter 4 and 5 of the Tao Te Ching

“The Tao is like an empty container
it can never be emptied and it can never be filled ….
It is hidden but always present …

… The more it produces; the more you talk of it , the less you comprehend It is better not to speak of things you do not understand “ - the missing bits in the above are about straw dogs, which I didn’t include as it might have made you laugh, and then you would have been foolish.

So to the sum up the Tao Te Ching, a book which is not meant to be understood and if you do understand it, the more you understand it, the less you understand.

Kind of makes me wonder if Yoko Ono would of been a far better artist is she had done nothing at all.

Clara Hopgood

2010-11-04T21:08:00.000+00:00

This is one of the books I picked up at random on the very last day of Borders closure. I picked it up, because of when it was written and when it was set. Whist a bit earlier in time than what I set my adventures on the DAC, it was close enough that hopefully I would pick up some ideas and language.

Not knowing anything about the author, a quick read on wikipedia revealed the following. I was especially impressed with the quote from George Orwell. Doing a bit of googling, it turns out that other people such as DH Lawrence and Arnold Bennett had held him in some praise - all looking good.

I have the Everymen edition and it came with an introduction written by Lorraine Davis who is an English literature lecturer at Liverpool Hope University college. As Introductions go, it is one of the worst I have ever read. Dull, pompous, bloated and written by a thesaurus w’nker - which is not as bad as a grammar w’nker but still annoying. I am not one however to judge a book by its introduction. So what did I think of the story ?

Clara Hopgood is unbelievable.

Unbelievable that it ever got printed
Unbelievable that the likes of Lawrence and Orwell would praise the author (a joke from beyond the grave perhaps ? )

I will say one thing that is amazing about the book. It is the fact that the author spends an entire page describing some walking down a path, then crams in entire epic events in to the space of two pages.

She walked down the summery village road which was adorned with spring fauna and at the end was a small river with a stone bridge. Then someone went to Germany and then so and so died.

He manages to fill all 144 pages like this and it made following this story extremely hard. I think someone was an Atheist. Pretty sure someone was Jewish and I think there might of been a Quaker in there too. Not sure what they were doing, but it had something to do with a bookshop.

I am not even going to bother putting in an amazon link for this. In fact I will pay someone to take my copy away

Disclaimer The photo has nothing to do with the book. As far as I 'm aware there was no point in the story where Clara was naked with a skeleton on a couch - though I could be wrong. I was asleep for most of it.

The World Crisis - Winston Churchill 1911-1918

2010-10-24T12:26:00.004+01:00

This truly is a fantastic book. I have made several false starts in trying to review this book. First of all I thought about starting with what an excellent and entertaining read this has been. But is entertaining really the right way to describe an account for one of the bloodiest conflicts in human history ?

Ignoring the subject matter, here we have a book that has been written in such a way, that at no time did it feel like reading a book. It felt more like, sitting in a Chesterfield with Winston Churchill opposite, re accounting his tales. There are several points throughout the text, which he addresses the reader directly. Either asking for the reader to pay attention, asking a rhetorical question or revealing his feelings on a certain situation. I'm sure fiction writers would probably learn a lot from the style as it certainly works very well at keeping the reader engaged. My favourite such moment, was when the Russians were objecting to the potential presence of the Greeks in Constantinople and being generally a bit Nancy.

Winston Churchill says:

Feeling this situation, as I did, in every nerve of my body, I was acutely distressed. The time-honoured quotation one learnt as a schoolboy -”Quos Deus vult prius dementat *”- resounded in all its deep significance now that conditions as tragic and fate-laden as those of ancient Rome had again descended upon the world.

*those whom a God wishes to destroy he first drives mad

The language used is great. He is a true master of using the words hitherto and viz. I have been trying to slip viz. as much as possible into documents I write at work since starting to read this.

The other thing about the style, especially in regards to the Dardanelles is, here is a man defending himself. If I ever had to defend myself in court, then I would re-read this book before preparing my defence...

The second way I thought of starting this review was by giving an introduction to the start of the First World War. Two problems with that. The first, is how much time have you got ? The second is, this is a book that is and isn't about the war.

It’s not in the strictness of sense a history book. Nor is it in the strictness of sense a Journal. What we have here, is someone who could write history and also a front line witness to the events they were writing about.

I would also say, that if you are unfamiliar with the events of the Great War, then this is not the book to start with (start with this one instead). Where this book excels is, some of those events of the war, such as the Siege of Antwerp which most books about the first world war give a section too; Listing of the preludes, the planning, the battle and aftermath etc. Here we get a lot more personal account. Whilst the numbers et al are still there, we get some get a good glimpse into the mind of Winston Churchill. He privies us with this thoughts into the impending disaster and we get glimpses of exchanges of telegrams between himself and Whitehall. He is desperate to get involved in the action. Heading over there as soon as he can. He even offers his resignation from his post as First Lord of the Admiralty to take up the necessary military rank , so he could take responsibility for the British forces in Antwerp - This offer was refused.

The other thing this book gives us a more human picture of some of the key people in the war. The descriptions of Sir Henry Wilson (Chief In General of Staff) and his use of vocabulary are a fantastic insight. Sir Henry would describe politicians as “frocks” and refered to Clemenceau (French prime minister) as “Tiger” - even addressing him as such. He would also often start in meetings with phrases such as “Today I am France..” or “Today I am Belgium...” and using that to get to the to the root of his point. We also find out that Marshall Foch sometimes used to give military propositions in a pantomine nature.

For the historian, this book is awash with letters, telegrams, ables, charts and maps. One criticism, they are faithfully reproduced from the original book, but with the advent of printing technology, it would of been nice to get some modern updates - some of them are quite hard to read.

There is also some really good analysis in there. Especially the chapter entitled Britain Conquers the U-boats with full breakdown of figures of strength and comparisons between the two sides. This is then matched against losses and outputs of merchant shipping (on both sides) and is accompanied by, a probably more interesting than it sounds here write up....

So that was how I was thought about opening up on this review, but it is post mortem where it should begin. After reading this book, one of the most harrowing things from it, is the realisation that the decision for so many, was made by so few. In the case of the Dardanelles, we have a sombre tale of indecisiveness and hesitation which ultimately cost the lives of over half a million men. In Robert Nivelle (French General) and his self named Nivelle Offensive , here we have a tale of a man so blinkered by his past success, that he refuses to take advice from all quarters (other French commanders, British commanders, French and English politicians) telling him to change his plan. The result is 300’000 french casualties in less than a month, with no notable territorial gains and an army onthe brink of mutiny.

Then there are the meat-grinders that are Passchendaele and the Ludendorff Offensive. With around 800’000 casualties each. What makes this particularly stygian, is whilst the horrors of a war of attrition maybe noted by those in the decision making power, the men fighting them simply become statistics in tables and allied to enemy death ratio’s. Key decisions are bickered about and halted by things such as loss of face and by others with personality traits that do not ideally belong in the guise of co-operation.

The Romanian disaster is - well a definition of the word disaster

The First World War, is sometimes refer ed to as the ‘boys war’, in terms of the young men who were fighting at the front. I think you could also apply that to those who were also in charge. This is where this book is unique and stands out. I think Churchill’s skills as a historian, cause him to write a more balanced and argumentative journal of his involvement in the war. He knows he can not white wash events, as he would be letting the historian in himself down. So he has painstakingly given all sides of an event, quoting from official history's from both sides and adding italics where he does not agree, or wants to labour a point. He is a blunt as I think you can reasonable expect of the criticisms he gives to other people. He is also keen to defend at great lengths, those who criticised him,making sure the argument is clear. I very much doubt, a modern politician would be able to write something as balanced.

It’s through this, we get a glance into the people and the minds of those who made the decisions.Sadly, I don’t think the world at the top is too different from that of 1911-1918 and those mistakes have and will continue to be repeated.

The World Crisis, 1911-1918 (Amazon Link)

The Peeping Parisian

2010-10-23T09:25:00.000+01:00

A new story up on the DAC, and a return for Tiberius O'Donnell.

The Womens Lawn Tennis competition in Paris is the settting and Tiberius finds himself having to deal with a blasted ragamuffin.

Read here

If I had gone to film school, I would of made a film like this

2010-10-16T18:15:00.000+01:00

Thankfully, I didn't.

Over the last couple of months, I have been busy on a short film entitled "Killing Amy" written, produced and directed by myself. We finished filming last Saturday, and you can read the shoot diary, kept by fellow Leeds Savage member David Maguire, over here

H.Upmann Coronas Major

2010-09-19T12:24:00.000+01:00

This might sound a bit of an odd thing to say, but this cigar very much reminds me of the smell of a Humidor room. It is a very smooth smoke and has a very nice draw to it.

H.Upmann have been making cigars since 1844. Whilst less known that other cuban cigar manufacturers, the coronas major is definetly well worth tracking down.

I've started bit of a leader board on the cigars over here

I've put the Coronas Major above the Romeo y Julietta Cedors. Whilst the Cedros is the more superior smoke, I would much more likely buy these, especially if going to a wedding to hand them out or having some friends around for a smoke.

The Desert Knows My Name

2010-09-18T07:48:00.000+01:00

New story up on the DAC "The Desert Knows My Name"

Which you can read here